Lightning and Firefist (Script)

  *Lightning's House*

  (Knock on the door)

  Lightning Strike: Ugh, who could possibly be up this early? It's 4:00 a.m. (Walks over to the door with Stealth)

  Stealth Firefist: Yeah, I need 8 to 9 hours of sleep to maintain my full handsomeness. 10 or 12 for full Stealth shine.

  Lightning Strike: (Opens the door) Applejack?

  Applejack: Howdy there Lightnin' and Stealth! I'd like to invite y'all to a trip to Appleloosa.

  Stealth Firefist: No thanks we're good. (Walks back but is stopped by Applejack)

  Applejack: Wait! Don't ya at least wanna see my relatives?

  Stealth Firefist: AJ, As much as I like making new friends with your relatives, we're tired. It's 4:00 a.m. for crying out loud. And there's no way you can take both of us to the train station.

*Train Station*

  Stealth Firefist: I can't believe you had the strength to pull both of us here.

  Applejack: Well, I warned ya didn't I?

  Stealth Firefist: Well excuse us for not coming.

  Lightning Strike: We've had to come out, but that just made number four on our most rough mornings list.

  Applejack: Oh come on. Y'all can sleep on the train with the nice comfy- (Notices Lightning and Stealth are in the train sleeping already) (Goes in train)

  Lightning and Stealth: Already Asleep. (Applejack Chuckles)

  *Morning Aboard the train*

  Applejack: And that's when the yellow birdie thought to himself, "Hmm. My favorite little tree isn't such a little tree anymore." So she sang her song, big and strong, and they all lived in that great, big tree happily ever after. The... end.

  Rarity: Applejack! Were you reading a bedtime story to... an apple tree?

  Lightning Strike: This is kinda awkward.

  Stealth Firefist: I know right?

  Applejack: Heh... uh... Well, ya know, bein' replanted in a whole new place is very upsettin' for a tree... and Bloomberg here is one of my favorites.

  Rarity: No fair, Applejack! You've got a luxurious, private sleeper car for a tree, while I am crowded and cramped in the same car with all the other ponies. How am I supposed to get my beauty sleep?!

  Stealth Firefist: Just ignore all the noises, stuffiness, and uncomfortableness. That's what Lightning and I do.

  Rarity: Just because you two can take it, doesn't mean I can!

  Lightning Strike: (Laughs) Look at it this way Rarity, we're going on a trip to Appleloosa.

  Stealth Firefist: Yeah, one of the Apple capitals of Equestria! Just imagine, all those apples in all those trees. Just makes me wanna eat them right now.

  Lightning Strike: I know right?

  Applejack: They're right. You just need to be more upside like them. Besides, Bloomberg's the whole reason we're makin' this trip. He needs his rest so we can give him as a gift to my relatives in Appleloosa.

  Rarity: Hmph! You talk about it as if it's your baby or something.

  Applejack: Who you callin' a baby?! Bloomberg's no baby! Don't wet widdle Rarity make you all saddy-waddy. Bloomberg's a big and strong apple tree. Yes, he is. A-coochie-coochie-coo-coo-coo!

  Lightning Strike: Once again, awkward.

Rarity: It's widdle Rarity who's all "saddy-waddy"! Urgh!

Stealth Firefist: How about a mirror to cheer you up Rarity?

Rarity: Please, like that's going to- (Stealth gives mirror to her and looks at herself starry eyed) Aw, I'm so pretty! (Goes through door)

Stealth Firefist: Works every time.

  *Nightfall aboard the train*

  (Everybody, except Rarity and Spike are conversating)

  Rarity: (sighs) For crying out loud in the morning!

  Spike: (groan) Do you guys mind? I was up early fire-roasting those snacks you're all eating, and I'm pooped!

  Stealth Firefist: (Laughs) Sorry it's just funny.

  Rainbow Dash: Uh, speaking of, some of these popcorn kernels didn't get popped.

  Spike: Okay, fine... (Blow flame burning popcorn bag)

  Rainbow Dash: Ghk...

  Spike: Good night!

  Stealth Firefist: Yeesh, some dragon's in a choppy mood. Just be thankful you aren't sleeping on the tree. I tried sleeping on it, but some reason, it's very hard and a little cold.

  Twilight Sparkle: Uhh... maybe it's time we all got a little shut-eye. We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow. (Ponies groan)

  Lightning Strike: (Yawns) Good night everybody. (Everyone sleeps)

  Rainbow Dash: (whispering Psst! Pinkie Pie, you asleep yet?

  Pinkie Pie: (whispering) No, are you asleep yet?

  Rainbow Dash: (whispering) If I was sleeping, how could I have asked you if you were asleep?

  Pinkie Pie: (whispering) Oh yeah! (giggles)

  Rainbow Dash: (whispering) When we get to Appleloosa, you think we'll have to carry that heavy tree all the way from the train to the orchard?

  Lightning Strike: (whispering) We'd probably all would.

  Stealth Firefist: (whispering) In my opinion AJ could've just bought a gift from a gift shop.

  Pinkie Pie: (whispering) You mean Bloomberg?

  Rainbow Dash: (whispering and sarcastically) ...No, Fluttershy.

  Pinkie Pie: (whispering) Fluttershy's not a tree, silly!

  Twilight Sparkle: What's going on?

  Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash thinks Fluttershy's a tree!

  Rainbow Dash: (whispering) I do not think she's a tree! I was just–

  Twilight Sparkle: Did you say she was a tree?

  Rainbow Dash: (whispering) No. Well.. Yes. But not exactly–

  Lightning Strike: It was sarcasm.

  Rainbow Dash: (Whispering) Exactly.

  Stealth Firefist: Then how come you said she was a tree in sarcasm? Which could make it counter-sarcasm!

  Rainbow Dash: (Whispering) It's not that! It's-

  Twilight Sparkle: Ya know she's not a tree, right?

  Pinkie Pie: She's not a tree, Dashie!

  Fluttershy: I'd like to be a tree...

  Spike: Oh, for Pete's sake! (Goes into other car)

  Stealth Firefist: Who's Pete?

  Lightning Strike: (Sarcastically) Gee, I have no idea Stealth.

  Twilight Sparkle: Well that was kind of huffy.

  Fluttershy: Huffy the magic dragon! (Ponies and Stealth Laugh except for Rarity)

  Rarity: Would you all be QUIET... NOOOOW!!!???

  (Ponies scream except for Rarity)

  Stealth Firefist: Aah! It'd a zombie! I'll get it guys! (Hits Rarity with a frying pan and stops realizing something) Hey, this isn't a zombie. It's a girl zombie! (Keeps hitting with frying pan and Rarity stops him) (Rarity remove facial cream and growls at Stealth) (Laughs nervously) I'm just gonna go with Spike into the other car. (Runs to car before frying pan hits him)

  Spike: Bloomberg..? Bloomberg? Sorry, but I tend to snore a bit. Good night. (sigh) (Stealth pops from tree)

  Stealth Firefist: Your claws are cold.

  Spike: Aah! Stealth, what are you doing here?

  Stealth Firefist: I thought there was zombie attacking the train, but it was just Rarity. I'll apologize to her, it's just that she needs some time to recover.

  Spike: You thought she was a zombie because...?

  Stealth Firefist: Facial cream.

  Spike: (Unamused look) Mystery solved. (Sleeps)

  *Morning aboard the Train*

  (Rainbow Dash is bumped out of the train bed onto the floor and group looks outside and sees Buffalo stampede)

Twilight Sparkle: A buffalo stampede!

  (ponies awing)

  Rarity: I just love their accessories!

  Lightning Strike: It's so cool!

  Twilight Sparkle: They're getting awfully close to the train.

  Lightning Strike: Oh, what could possibly go wrong? (Buffalo bump into car causes ponies to roll around in the car and scream) I should stop saying that!

  *With Spike, Stealth, and Bloomberg*

  (Spike is snoring and the bed starts going left to right and Stealth starts noticing)

  Stealth Firefist: (Wakes up) Huh? (Bed starts sliding) Whoa! (Crash) (Gets out of bed) This is starting to get dangerous!

  *Back into the main car*

  (Ponies stop rolling around)

  Pinkie Pie: Oooh, looky! Now they're doing TRICKS! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Now do a back-flip! (Buffalo stack on top of each other and small one gets on train)... Or... Just jump?

  Twilight Sparkle: (Notices Lightning going to other car) Lightning! Where are you going?

  Lightning Strike: To help Spike and Stealth! And Bloomberg. (Goes to other car) Guys! Wake up! Mostly you Spike!

  Spike: Whaa? Huh? Lightning? What are you doing here?

  Lightning Strike: (Unamused look) Seriously? You did not notice the train tilting.

Stealth Firefist: Well a creature's gotta sleep. (Lightning and Spike agree) (Train car stops moving and goes the other way) Uh, guys. We're not going forward anymore.

  Spike: Heeeelp!

  Stealth Firefist: And we're being dragon. monkey, and pony napped by buffalo.

  Spike: Oh no! What are we going to do? What are the buffaloes going to do when they find us? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

  Lightning Strike:(Whispering) Shh! Spike! You gotta be quiet or else the buffalo will hear us. (Train car stops moving and Stealth is thrown into the wall be force of speed)

  Stealth Firefist: Ow! Well at least- (Door slammed into him by buffalo and staring at Lightning) Ow!

  Lightning Strike: (Unamused look) Oh, you have got to be kidding me!

  Buffalo: It's pony! (Buffalo tilts car forward and slides Lightning out and surround him) Get him! (Lightning Flies to the sky)

  Lightning Strike: Ha! It's gonna take a lot more than a few buffalo to- (Buffaloes start to stack and get to Lightning's height) Oh shock.

  Buffalo: Now get him!

  Spike: STOP! (Buffalo stop and bow in front of him) uh, what's going on?

  Buffalo: We honor dragons very much.

  Stealth Firefist: (Comes out) Whoa, what happened?

  Buffalo: Monkey! Get him!

  Spike: STOP!

  Buffalo: Oops, sorry.

  Spike: It's okay, they're with me. My name is Spike.

  Buffalo: What would you like us to do to this ugly pony and monkey?

  Lightning and Stealth: Hey!

  Spike: Leave them alone, they're with me. (Buffaloes back off)

  Buffalo: What is your other wish Spike?

  Stealth Firefist: Ask them to juggle Spike. It's awesome.

  Spike: I'm thinking give me a sec.

  Rainbow Dash: (From distance) I'm trying to save Spike!

  Pinkie Pie: (From distance) Oh my gosh! So am I! (Buffalo rush to where sound came from)

  Rainbow Dash: And the more of us there are out here, the more chances of us getting (Buffalo surround them)... caught. Run, Pinkie, I'll hold 'em off. Save yourself!

  Lightning Strike: Spike stop them!

  Spike: Stop! Dash, Pinkie, 'sup? Hey, no worries I know those guys. They're cool.

  Buffalo: If you say so, Spike. Catch ya later, bro. (Buffalo stampede past them)

  *Buffalo Village*

  Spike: And after we were separated from you guys, the buffalo stopped and found us. They were about to get Lightning and Stealth, but I stopped them with my intellect and wit! (Heroic stance) (Lightning and Stealth roll their eyes)

  Stealth Firefist: (Sarcastically) Yeah, Spike. You saved us from just saying "stop" to them. How do you do it?

  Spike: Seems they took us by mistake. And they feel awful about it too, poor guys. Fortunately, they totally respect dragons, so they treat me like an honored guest. (Stealth, Lightning, Rainbow, and Pinkie get a bowl of mush. Stealth, Lightning, and Rainbow are disgusted by mush) Still don't like ponies or monkeys much, though... But you're with me, so it's cool.

  Rainbow Dash: Huh.. Well, I still don't trust them. I say we turn tail and bail while we still–

  Pinkie Pie: Mmm! (munching) Before we finish eating? Are you loco in the coco?! Can I please have more of that mushy stuff, whatever it was?

  Lightning Strike: As a matter of fact Pinkie, you take our mush. (Stealth and Lightning push theirs to Pinkie)

  Pinkie Pie: Sweet! (Munching on mush)

  Little Strongheart: And, Mr. Spike, you like gemstones, yes?

  Spike: Turquoise. Mmm! (munching) Heh hah! This here is Little Strongheart, and these are my friends Pinkie Pie, Lightning Strike, Stealth Firefist, and Rainbow Dash.

  Rainbow Dash: (Turns and see buffalo) You!

  Little Strongheart: (Surprised) You!

  Rainbow Dash: That's it! We are outta here! (Walks away and drags Pinkie with her teeth)

  Little Strongheart: (Jumps in front) Wait! Please accept my apologies for what happened on the train. We didn't mean for anyone to be hurt.

  Rainbow Dash: Yeah, right. (Goes other away)

  Little Strongheart: (Jumps in front again) We only wanted the tree. The settler ponies have overtaken the land and have planted an orchard all over it! Because of their thoughtlessness, we can no longer run over our traditional stampeding grounds.

  Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: Huh?

  Lightning and Stealth: Um, Traditional stampeding ground?

  Spike: I think it's time they met Chief Thunderhooves.

  *Tribal Meeting*

  Chief Thunderhooves: Hmmh. We have a long and winding stampeding trail that we have run upon for many generations. (breath) My father stampeded upon these grounds, and his father before him, and his father before him, (Buffalo and Stealth start to sleep) and his father before him, and his father before him, and-

  Little Strongheart: I think they get the idea, Chief.

  Lightning Strike: Yeah, you had many generations of buffalo that stampeded here.

  Chief Thunderhooves: Hmph. It is a sacred tradition to run the path every year. But this year, these... settler ponies, these... (snort) Appleloosans! (snorting)

  Little Strongheart: They planted apple trees all over it without asking our permission.

  Pinkie Pie: Well that's not very nice. Right, guys?

  Lightning Strike: That is so sad.

  Rainbow Dash: Hmph...

  Little Strongheart: The ponies refused to move their trees, so we are stuck here, and it is not fair!

  Stealth Firefist: I know I've always wanted to pretend to be a tree. (Get unamused looks from everyone) What? Is that not a thing.

  Little Strongheart: Your monkey friend is not so bright isn't he?

  Lightning Strike: Once you get to know him.

  Stealth Firefist: (On a tree) Hey guys look at me! I can fly! (Tries to fly but lands on the ground harshly)

  Lightning Strike: Yes, he's not so bright.

  Spike: See, Rainbow Dash? They had a good reason to–

  Rainbow Dash: Huh... Ah! (Buffaloes gasps) I'll say they had a good reason! C'mon. We have some apple-pickin' Appleloosans to talk to!

  Lightning Strike: Whoa slow down everybody. Of course, it was wrong for them to settle without your permission… but… you can't just go and force them to take down their trees. They probably needed the land to survive… you guys need to just negotiate on what to do.

  Chief Thunderhooves: And what if you're one of them?

  Lightning Strike: I've only been here for at least 7 hours. I hardly got to know this place. And two wrongs never make a right.

  Stealth Firefist: Actually... (Using a chalkboard get two wrongs equal a right) The math says otherwise.

  Lightning Strike: You forgot to carry the two.

  Stealth Firefist: Ooh, you're right. (Calculates and doesn't get a right) He's right guys. Two wrongs do not make a right. In fact, two wrongs could make a left! (Unamused face from Lightning)

   Chief Thunderhooves: We'll do what we please pony and monkey. Strongheart! Take them back to the town to explain why they must move the trees.

  Little Strongheart: Of course chief. Let's go (Lead group to town)

  Lightning Strike: We could just negotiate. They take down the trees-

  Little Strongheart: Exactly!

  Lightning Strike: Let me finish. They take down the trees and plant them somewhere else. There problem solved and no hurting involved.

  Stealth Firefist: Besides those wonderful fruit deserve to be treated with dignity. They're delicious you should try some!

  Little Strongheart: No. Those trees must be taken down for our stampeding grounds. (Stealth sleeping while walking then wakes up)

  Stealth Firefist: Sorry, did you say something? (Little Strongheart sighs)

  *Appleloosa in the Morning*

  Pinkie Pie: Ooh, I see them! Hi, guys! (Little Strongheart hides behind rock)

  Fluttershy: Pinkie! We're so glad you're safe.

  Twilight Sparkle: How did you escape from the buffalo?

  Pinkie Pie: We didn't!

  Stealth Firefist: Yeah, right Little Strongheart? (Little Strongheart comes out)(ponies gasp)

  Rainbow Dash: We promised the buffalo a chance to talk.

  Applejack: Oh, yeah? 'Bout what?

  Rainbow Dash: We brought our new pal Little Strongheart here to explain to the Appleloosans why they should move the apple trees off buffalo land.

  Stealth Firefist: She's right.

  Braeburn: That information would be quite help–

  Applejack: That's weird. 'Cause my cousin Braeburn here wants to explain to the buffalo why they should let the apple trees stay.

  Stealth Firefist: Okay counter point.

  Little Strongheart: That would be a useful thing to–

  Rainbow Dash: The land is theirs! You planted the trees not knowing that. Honest mistake. Now, you just gotta move 'em, that's all.

  Braeburn: Well... heh...

  Stealth Firefist: She's right.

  Applejack: They busted their rumps here! An' now they're supposed ta bust their rumps again, just 'cause some buffalo won't stampede someplace else?

  Stealth Firefist: Right, they've worked on this place.

  Rainbow Dash: Plant the trees somewhere else!

  Applejack: Where?! It's the only flatland around these parts!

  Rainbow Dash: The BUFFALO had it FIRST!

  Applejack: The settler ponies need it to LIVE!

  Rainbow Dash: Come ON, Applejack!

  (Rainbow Dash and Applejack argue)

  Lightning Strike: Okay stop the arguing! (Both stop arguing) Arguing is not gonna get us anywhere. We obviously need to negotiate. A compromise that will satisfy both sides.

  Pinkie Pie: And I've got an idea!

  Stealth Firefist: Me too, we obviously get them to try the apple by products.

  Pinkie Pie: Not the plan I was going for, but that'll be my backup plan!

  Stealth Firefist: Do you need a backup backup plan?

  Twilight Sparkle: What's the plan already!?

  Pinkie Pie: Right sorry.

*Piano Stage*

  (Piano Intro)

  Lightning Strike: (Unamused look) This is her plan? This is what is going to help the buffaloes and ponies here get along?

Stealth Firefist: Shh. Let the professional handle it Lightning.

(Pinkie Pie)

We may be divided

But of you all, I beg

To remember we're all hoofed

At the end of each leg

No matter what the issue

Come from wherever you please

All this fighting gets you nothing

But hoof and mouth disease

Arguing's not the way

Hey, come out and play!

It's a shiny, new day

So, what do you say?

You gotta share

You gotta care

It's the right thing to do

You gotta share

You gotta care

And there'll always be a way through

Both our diets, I should mention

Are completely vegetarian

We all eat hay and oats

Why be at each other's throat?

You gotta share

You gotta care

It's the right thing to do

And there'll always be a way

Throoooough!

  (Awkward silence, eagle noise)

  Spike: (applauds) All right, Pinkie Pie! That was FANTASTIC! What a great song! Yeah, right on!

  Stealth Firefist: (Applauds) Encore! Encore! Encore! Encore... no one wants an encore?

  Pinkie Pie: Sorry no encores.

  Stealth Firefist: It's still great.

  Chief Thunderhooves: It appears that Sheriff Silverstar and I have come to... an agreement.

  Sheriff Silverstar: We have.

  Lightning Strike: Finally!

  Chief Thunderhooves: That was the worst performance we've ever seen.

  Sheriff Silverstar: Teh... Abso-tively!

  Lightning Strike: (Sighs and facehoofs himself) Seriously?

  Chief Thunderhooves: Seriously. The time for action... Hmh... is upon us! Our stampede will start at high noon tomorrow. And if the orchard is still there, we'll flatten IT! AND the whole town!

  (Ponies Gasps)

  Stealth Firefist: Yay- aw fireballs!

  Little Strongheart: But, Chief!

  Sheriff Silverstar: An' we Appleloosans say you'd better bring yer best, 'cause we'll be ready and waitin'.

  Braeburn: But, Sheriff... (Ponies and Buffaloes walk separate ways)

  Pinkie Pie: Oh... That wasn't the message of my song at all...

  Lightning Strike: Of course it wasn't.

  *Later*

  Applejack: I want my kin ta' have what they need to live... but a storm's a-brewin' here. And I don't like the look of it.

  Lightning Strike: It's gonna be a very hard impact.

  Twilight Sparkle: We've just got to talk some sense into them before somepony gets hurt. (Goes to pony) Listen, maybe if you would just reconsider, we– (Pony walks away)

  Rarity: About the trees. Now if you could- (Pony walks away)

  Twilight Sparkle: If we could just sit down and talk we could–

  Goldengrape: Grrrrr!

  Twilight Sparkle: (Gasps) Why won't anybody be rational and reasonable?

  Lightning Strike: They're just being stubborn mules! (Mules neighs) No offense.

  Mule: None taken.

  Applejack: Sheriff, if we could only– (Sheriff ignores her)

*Buffalo Tribe*

Spike: Isn't there someway to stop this?

  Little Strongheart: Unless the settlers remove those trees, I do not think so. (Spike sighs and eats gemstones)

  Stealth Firefist: Can't they just make peace and be rational about this? Because if they don't, my 12 hours of ruthless warrior training kicks in.

  Rainbow Dash: I know you don't want to do this.

  Chief Thunderhooves: But they have taken our land. What would you have me do, Rainbow Dash?

  Rainbow Dash: I don't know... but it's never too late to think of something.

  Chief Thunderhooves: At noon, it will be too late.

  Stealth Firefist: Come on chief. Can't we settle this peacefully?

  Chief Thunderhooves: I'm thinking about it.

  *Appleloosa*

  Rainbow Dash: Come on, THINK. Think, think, think, think, think, think, think!

  (clock strikes twelve times)

  Lightning Strike: Oh great, here comes the big team battle.

  (Little Strongheart stop Chief Thunderhooves)

  Rainbow Dash: (gasp) He's not gonna do it!

  Lightning Strike: Phew, we're safe.

  (Pinkie Pie)

–whaddaya say?

You got to share

You got to care

It's the right thing to do

  (Chief Thunderhooves Growls)

  Lightning Strike: Pinkie stop!

  Stealth Firefist: Twilight, my hours of ruthless warrior training is about to kick in.

  (Pinkie Pie)

  You got to share

  Chief Thunderhooves: CHAAARGE!

  (Pinkie Pie)

  You got to care

  (Pinkie Pie is pulled by Lightning's Magic) (Battle is about to start by Stealth stops it with fire wave)

  Stealth Firefist: (Fire Flares around him) That's it everyone! This feud had gone on long enough! Everybody is gonna make peace, or I'll burn everyone with third degree burns! (Cannon fires apple pie into Chief's face and he enjoys it)

  Chief Thunderhooves: Yum! Hey, I've got a much better idea! We will allow the orchard to stay in exchange for it's fruit and share of pies.

  (Ponies Cheer)

  Stealth Firefist: (Flare dies down) Phew, that was close.

  Lightning Strike: And everything turned out great.

  Spike: I'd rather eat turquoise any day of the week. (chomp) Auhh...!

  Applejack: Bloomberg, this is yer special day. Mama's so proud of you! (Hugs tree)

  Lightning Strike: Once again, awkward.

  Stealth Firefist: Yeah, very awkward.

  Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia, Friendship is a wondrous and powerful thing. Even the worst of enemies can become friends. You need understanding and compromise. You've got to share. You've got to care.

  Pinkie Pie: HEY! That's what I said!

  Lightning Strike: In letter form, it's better. When you sing it, not so much. No offense.

  Pinkie Pie: There's nothing in the world that will cheer me up!

  Stealth Firefist: Mush?

  Pinkie Pie: Apology accepted (Eats mush) (Twilight makes a weird face)

  Lightning Strike: Yeah, sometimes even I wonder how she can eat that.

  *Ponyville at Lightning's House*

  Applejack: (Apple Gift) Remember Lightning, it's gift for when you're sad and need a friend when your alone.

  Stealth Firefist: That is very kind of you Applejack.

  Lightning Strike: Thanks AJ. I'll treasure it. (Puts in his treasure shelf) I hope I don't it eat it though.