The Alicorn Solution

by Scootareader

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 4340

Earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns... but what is an alicorn? Is it all three races? Or a separate creature altogether?

Uncle,

I hope this letter finds you well. You will be receiving the official request for this in a day or two, but I decided I should write you before it arrives so that I may better explain what you will be allocating funds for.

I've found an earth pony scientist who is willing to research the alicorn gene and hopefully make some headway on our little pet project. We will take his findings and stop this disease dead in its tracks. Believe me, this pony is smart. I get the feeling he will save you. We just need to give him the bits to do it.

Your favorite nephew,
Squeaky

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-28 19:46:27 UTC

1 - Motivation

They say that a good scientist keeps studious notes of everything they work on. Until today, I have not been one of those scientists.

After how many projects I have been a part of, I can’t remember what my reasons were for taking part in such things. We called the Zebra Common Ancestor Project a smashing success because geologists found the place where the land split and what would become Equestria separated from what would become the Zebra Kingdom. Archaeologists then dug around for a while and found skeletons that seemed like miniature ponies, even smaller than ponies today, and called this new species a missing link. I’m no expert on evolutionary patterns, but that means the zebras grew larger than ponies in the same amount of time that it took for ponies to grow to their current size.

Had I had even the slightest inkling of where to search in the genes for either of the species we were focusing on—that is, earth ponies and zebras—perhaps my part in the project would have yielded a much more fulfilling bounty than a write-off “success” based on a most unconvincing skeleton. As it is, I quite distinctly recall a request for additional funding to continue our project, but we were, of course, denied due to our lack of results and the “success” that the archaeologists found.

The biggest problem is, I can’t remember why I even cared in the first place. Why did I care so much about a common ancestor between zebras and ponies? Did I care? Was that something I wanted to pursue in my life? I can’t remember. I just can’t remember.

So, I’ve decided to keep this journal of my motivations and feelings on the project. Scientific notes are important and everything, but they say nothing of why I want to do this. This is the why, and I’m writing it all down as I go along. It’s important that I remember why I put so much effort into a project.

So, why am I interested in learning the genetics of an alicorn? I guess you could blame the archaeology team for that one, too.

I guess it’s a fluke that I even know about this. I think the Princesses don’t want this kind of information public, seeing as no one has breathed a word of it outside of the initial discovery. The archaeologists involved in the project suddenly aren’t available for comment, and outright lies are being fabricated about this “missing link.”

I know what I saw. I’m just glad they don’t realize I saw it. On that tiny pony, quite likely our very own ancestor, were wings and a horn.

The initial discovery wasn’t actually all that shocking to me. It’s entirely likely that an ancestor possessed both wings and a horn, but this changed at some point due to shifting climate, diet, or any other miscellaneous reason. It wasn’t even surprising to me that the entire group of skeletons possessed wings and a horn, implying our entire race used to be alicorns. No, what got me was the reaction to such news.

Prior to this, I would never have thought Celestia and Luna so low as to censor the truth from the common folk. Now that I have seen it so vividly myself, I resent that these two remnants of our past are preventing us from learning more about who we used to be. They’re alicorns, and they’re terrified of the citizens of Equestria discovering that there have always been more.

In the name of freedom of understanding for all Equestrian citizens, I have decided to put research into the alicorn gene. It exists. I have seen the evidence with my own eyes.

So, let’s put out a framework of understanding:

-Twilight Sparkle and Princess Cadance were not born alicorns, but are both alicorns now, based on unicorn and pegasus genes respectively

-Princesses Celestia and Luna’s origins are unknown, but I hypothesize they are the only born alicorns left

-The alicorn gene causes growth of body, resulting in gigantism of pony species as well as a larger horn and wings

-The alicorn gene is believed to cause immortality, though this may only be for natural-born alicorns

Thus, I will be starting my search where the genes for growth rates lie in the three pony races. We haven’t fully mapped DNA yet, but I have a good idea of where to start digging for growth regulation.

2- Misgivings

It would be wrong of me not to say what my fears are before beginning my experiments.

I know it’s wrong of me to be suspicious of the hand that feeds me, but I question why the Gem family is so curious about the alicorn gene. I am not the most perceptive pony, but I’m willing to believe that it’s due to the current head of the Gem family, Cut Diamond, having an untreatable condition that will finally end his lifespan—which is, of course, the same condition that all living things possess.

Old age causes death. This is a fact. How else will a pony be able to cheat death, but to become immortal as an alicorn is? This is most likely the reason why he decided to fund this entire venture out of the household’s pocket. He made no research agreements or asked for any grants, but simply is writing a blank check for me each month to research a “cure” for his old age.

I am not directly opposed to this. Nopony wants to die, and if I make my discovery relatively quickly, he may yet save himself. Knowledge is to be shared among all, and I get the feeling he will be miserable if he chooses eternal life after all. It’s not as if there will be any repercussions in sharing what should be well-known anyway.

No, the pony that bothers me far more in this is his brother’s bastard, Squeaky Clean. The colt’s duty is to polish the gems his family buys and sells, and he is quite talented at it. He is not, however, so deft at hiding emotions. He made it quite clear that he expects me to experiment for a week or so, miraculously find some “cure” elixir for his uncle, and that I go on my merry way with minimal impact on the family’s economic state.

Were I not so experienced in how easily genetics projects get abandoned and lose funding, I may have shared the colt’s optimism. As it is, he is now my greatest ally, and will just as quickly become my greatest enemy when I fail to yield results 6 months from now. I hope Cut Diamond has the wherewithal to keep his bastard nephew away from me and my experiments.

It is not unlike me to distrust those around me. Being a geneticist is not exactly the most lucrative job, but I have seen many noble causes in the interest of advancing genetics quickly become corporate pawns. As enthusiastic as I may be about what I will be learning on this project, I know it is a political device in the end. If I discover the alicorn gene, perhaps I, too, will become a political device.

Will I be able to handle so much stress? I have no doubt that I will be shot at at least once if I make my discovery—and I intend to be prepared when it does happen. I am not one to lie about my situation. In my mind, will it be worth it? But of course. I would not be here, deciding to take on this research project, were it not for my own bravery and confidence. This knowledge will very likely lead me to an early grave, but... this sort of knowledge is not meant to be hidden from the world. If it means re-birthing the alicorn race, then so be it.

The bastard was down to see me work today. He watched me making some preliminary notes on what my initial experiments are going to be, then asked why I wasn’t using my lab equipment. He will prove to be quite nosy as I progress. I informed the colt that I doubted I would even touch my lab equipment for at least a month, maybe more, because so much of science is about taking notes, preparing, understanding why each step is being taken, then taking these steps one at a time, making notes on each step, then collating these notes of what was predicted and why it was predicted, then what happened and why it happened, and finally a conclusion of what was learned. He seemed quite bored with the scientific method in practice, much preferred to his mad scientist novels that I used to read when I was his age.

This is just as well. I don’t appreciate bastard colts staring at me while I take my notes.

I do get the feeling that this will be far more taxing on my ideas and creativity than the zebra common ancestor. That project was very straightforward, there were many fellow geneticists involved in the project, and, when it proved ultimately fruitless, there was no one pony to whom the blame was solely placed upon. This project, on the other hoof, is like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle blindfolded. I have no idea of what picture I’m trying to make, only that I know there is one.

Perhaps worst of all is that there is no other pony for me to bounce ideas off of. None in this mansion possess the knowledge or the training to even remotely understand what genetics truly are. If I get desperate enough, maybe I’ll try to educate the bastard on some basics, if only for somepony to have intellectual conversation with. He seems sharp enough to be able to understand, provided I speak slowly.

When I’m not sleeping, Cut Diamond wants me working on finding the alicorn gene. I explained to him that this sounds wonderful on paper, but nopony has that sort of work ethic, not even me, so I was able to talk him down to 8 hours sleep, 10 hours work, and 6 hours recreation... provided I don’t leave the mansion. And, much as I want to complain, he is paying for everything I could possibly want. The mansion is large, very much to explore, and I am allowed to stroll through the garden. Perhaps I will be able to later negotiate a single weekend a month for myself to have exploring more of Canterlot. I know better than to expect it.

As it is, I believe I have ranted long enough about my employer. I have to sleep, then there is plenty of work to do tomorrow.

3 - Growth Anomalies, Initial Thoughts

One of the most prominent effects on an alicorn is their largeness of stature. Their body consistently seems larger than that of the average pony.

Now, this is not a theory without some credence. Princesses Celestia and Luna are considerably taller than other ponies, standing much taller than others. I have seen many pictures of the two sisters, and they certainly seem larger than all but one another.

Some attribute this to their longevity; I will expand upon this in future entries. Granted, both Celestia and Luna have lived far longer than an average pony’s lifespan, and as such, this is a sensible correlation to make. However, this makes little sense, because pony growth is not related to age after approximately 26 years; that is the time that the body simply stops growing in true size. This has been proven countless times, so the claims of growth based on longevity ultimately prove to be unsubstantiated.

Furthermore, we have the princess that was anointed only a decade ago: Princess Cadance. She is already larger than the average pony, though she is still quite small compared to Celestia and Luna. She has grown larger since her ascension, further leading me to believe that this gene manipulates growth.

There is, however, contradictory evidence to this end, and it manifests itself in larger-than-average ponies. It could be random coincidence that the two largest ponies (both evidenced immortals) are the largest (possibly due to their being “true” alicorns) and that the princess who has had time to grow simply happens to be larger than the average pony. She certainly doesn’t seem to be looming over anypony else.

Princess Cadance’s size is no larger than that of many other ponies. I met a pony named Fancy Pants briefly to discuss my services as a geneticist, but he didn’t seem interested in my talent; what fascinated me most about our encounter, however, was the pony whose company he shared. She was a gangly white unicorn, about as large as Princess Cadance. She certainly can’t be the largest normal pony in Equestria; I believe that there must be some ponies out there that rival even Princesses Celestia and Luna in stature.

There is also the question of Princess Twilight: Simply by making changes to her appearance, she seems larger at times. Styling her hair differently, wearing different clothes, or even splaying her wings out... all of these seem to increase her stature.

Also, as before, her wings seem larger than the average pony’s, but there are many pegasi that possess as large of wings as she does. Her horn does not seem long as those of Celestia and Luna do, or even that of Princess Cadance, who possesses both a large horn and a large set of wings.

The more that I look at the related information, the more I am inclined to believe that alicorn growth is indeed substantiated. While things like a large body and large body parts are a common occurrence, finding the outliers in such a small control group is highly unlikely indeed. The only contradiction at this point is Princess Twilight’s horn... something that I expect to see marked growth in in the coming years. I really must look into any observational research performed on Princess Cadance from her younger years to the current day.

Thusly, my hypotheses on alicorn growth are posited as such:

The alicorn gene causes rapid growth of body parts to possible, but uncommonly large proportions

Both the assumed natural-born alicorns and the ascended alicorns appear to be affected

Princess Cadance is partially through the growth process; Princess Twilight has just begun the growth process

This means that the alicorn gene is tied in some manner to the growth gene

I will be performing several methods of research based on this.

For the first hypothesis, I will be examining the average size of an alicorn against that of the average pony, as well as researching cases of gigantism in ponies.

For the second hypothesis, I will be examining past research and reports on Princess Cadance’s size and stature versus her current size and stature.

For the third hypothesis, I will be examining the sizes of Princesses Celestia and Luna versus the size of Princess Cadance, then the size of Princess Twilight.

For the fourth hypothesis, I will correlate the findings of my other hypotheses and posit the alicorn growth differential from that of the common pony and the uncommon pony.

4 - Origins of Celestia and Luna, Initial Thoughts

As beloved as our two rulers are of the commonfolk, high society sees them as the tools of power that they are. While the princesses do what they can to not appeal to any one group more than others, it appears they favor the majority citizens, the grunt workers, over those with large wallets and larger egos. It is due to this predisposition towards the little pony that makes revolt so unlikely. The nobility has no real power, more interested in attempting to lobby laws that are near-consistently vetoed by either princess. The princesses pass laws that help the majority who have nothing to begin with, not those that help the minority that have clambered their way to high society on the shoulders of giants—the giants, of course, being their relatives.

The princesses seem to have a disdain of high class in general, as if they were not of noble birth. They aim to be more accessible, less regal but still easily capable of ruling. Celestia is not afraid of forays into the smaller towns and villages dotted around Equestria, nor is Luna, although Luna’s accessibility is limited somewhat due to her normal hours of activity. They seem to prefer smaller locations when they make appearances for holidays and other news-worthy events.

Based on this trend of shunning nobility, I hypothesize that Princesses Celestia and Luna are not of noble birth; this, however, calls into question their expansive knowledge on country management, citizen satisfaction, and, perhaps most important of all, surviving in the cutthroat world of nobility. I have not invested much time in the dynamics of Equestrian high class, but I’m certain they stab one another in the back on an hourly basis. The princesses seem so removed from these machinations that they must know what is happening all around them, yet they deign not to participate, nor do they acknowledge these attempts at subterfuge for what they are. They will accept or deny proposed laws based almost solely on the volume of citizens that are helped by it versus cost, and they are shockingly adept at picking apart earmarks and ambiguous wording.

Thanks to the ever-so-generous Gem family, my request for publicly available legal documents has yielded me immense amounts of paperwork to study on this. I aim to learn more about who Princesses Celestia and Luna are, and I will happily keep some skeletons buried if I deem it necessary—but I can’t imagine anything that needs to be a secret from their beloved citizens.

So far, my hypothesis states that the princesses are not of noble birth; let me further add to this hypothesis by positing that, while they may not be of noble birth, they have insider’s knowledge of politics and disdain for the standard political model of nobility, thus they are of a servant family which served in the government of Equestria before Celestia and Luna came to power. The family which led the revolt, perhaps?

I will study the legal documents provided to me and write of my findings. I will also study Equestrian history as far back as it goes in my attempts to learn their origins. Finally, I will request from the Gem family history books from other nations, preferably neighbors, which may have some indication of what came before Celestia and Luna rose to power and began their rule of Equestria.

5 - Extended Lifespan, Initial Thoughts

Although we have a much shorter frame of reference in the current generation of ponies, we have reason to believe that Princess Luna has been alive for as long as Princess Celestia. There are numerous accounts of Princess Luna in her current fully matured adult body having been the age her body halted at over a thousand years ago. Princess Celestia similarly stopped aging since the beginning of recorded time; based on what depictions we do have of the two sisters since Equestrian history began, they have always been fully matured adults, excepting Princess Luna when she was reborn from the husk of Nightmare Moon. I have numerous hypotheses about Princess Luna’s younger appearance initially, but that will come later.

For pony’s sake, is this really what I’ve become? A bumbling old scholar, reduced to taking studious notes on all steps of this journey? I understand accuracy of the science, but there are points where one has to realize that note-taking is counterproductive.

I guess I want to have a legacy left behind in the end. Call me vain if you will; I don’t want to die a nameless nothing, as so many others have before me. I want to crack the alicorn gene wide open and spread the information to all ponies.

Admittedly, I do wish there were another pony I could share this pursuit of mine with. Were I not so utterly alone, if there were another scientist to whom I could show my findings, a pony who would understand what I say and view it, not as a political or influential gain, but as a thirst for knowledge, I would be far happier in doing this. Princess Twilight Sparkle immediately leaps to mind, but I can be certain that she would tell Princess Celestia of her findings. That is, by and large, my greatest fear.

The bastard still holds my wary eye. He comes and pokes his nose in near-daily. I am not even three days into my initial speculations, more at a brainstorming phase than anything else, and already he is becoming too nosy for his own good. He seems to have a dangerously curious mind; I can think of a few uses for a guinea pig, but none at this point. Maybe I’ll invite him in for my experiments to make him more receptive at a later date. I doubt my tests will ever come to that, but it will be nice to have somepony to talk to, if nothing else.

As our control group, we have Princesses Cadance and Twilight to observe. Princess Cadance, while an obvious candidate for pony gigantism, also appears to be unaware of any aging effects on her. She has taken an average unicorn as her husband without any observed fear of his perishing before her; this, of course, would more likely be something done behind closed doors.

In fact, the only real comparison that we have from Princess Cadance to another pony is currently Princess Luna. Luna, when she emerged from the husk of Nightmare Moon, was reported by Ponyville eyewitnesses to be young again, no older than the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, yet a full head taller than any of them. No more than two months later, reports were rampant that she was a spitting image of the Princess of the Night, her mane and tail having reformed to have the same flowing properties that her sister had, the prior solid purple color replaced by a midnight blue studded with sparkles that were reminiscent of stars. Based on this two-month aging period, we can formulate a very stringent hypothesis that Princess Luna and her sister both age very, very quickly compared to normal ponies, then the accelerated body maturity halts at a specific age.

Princess Cadance, on the other hoof, largely appears to have matured in the manner expected of an average pony. She is well within the boundaries of standard maturity growth. The only abnormality I can observe in her development is the gigantism that is present in all alicorns thus far.

Princess Twilight Sparkle, only having recently become an alicorn, has not had any observable changes apart from the established changes of (believed, but still unproven) earth pony magic and (far easier to observe) pegasus wings and magic. There have not yet been any observations of gigantism, nor have there been any signs of aging demarcation. She is, to the best of my knowledge, just a unicorn and a pegasus in a single average pony, not the borderline goddess we’ve been led to believe.

Based on official public reports of Lord Tirek’s near-domination of Equestria, he first stole unicorn magic before growing powerful enough to steal pegasus magic, then again grew powerful enough to steal earth pony magic, finally reaching the height of his power to steal alicorn magic. There’s a few whispered reports of him stealing Discord’s magic, but I find that laughable. Until multiple eyewitnesses can confirm that a non-pony near-deity had their magic stolen by Tirek, I can’t believe that.

Discord rumors aside, the ponies of Ponyville claimed in multiple reports that a great battle took place near the town. Nopony saw the fight, but all of them say they heard it clearly. I know not what to make of this, or of the new “castle” which has been created. It can’t be written out entirely, but based on occurrences so far, it’s unlikely that castles are something inherently necessary for alicorns—probably some secretive “coming of age” tradition that Princesses Celestia and Luna decided upon. Ignoring the castle hypothesis (which I may not even expand upon), I question just how powerful an alicorn truly is. Tirek absorbed the magic of thousands of ponies, and a single alicorn was able to hold their own against Tirek for several minutes at least. This appears to be a massive strengthening of magic in both the wings of the pegasus and the horn of the unicorn. Perhaps in the earth pony’s hooves as well? It’s a shame there is no eyewitness other than Twilight Sparkle and—Tirek.

I’ll send word to Cut Diamond. Perhaps we can arrange an interview.

Prologue - It's Official

Official Request for Funding

Name: Thoroughbreed

Profession: Geneticist

Date/Length of Contract: 3-14-1003/2 years

Reason: Research for Alicorn Gene Project

Amount: 7,000 Bits initial, 2,000 Bits recurring monthly

Description of Funding Usage: The first 7,000 bits will be for all expected equipment needed to begin research. Every 2,000 bits thereafter will be additional materials necessary to continue research on the project. Approximately 200 bits monthly is expected for necessary living expenses.

Qualifications: I have been a geneticist for well over 6 years now. I have been involved with the research project to find our common ancestor with zebras via gene mapping. It was also my honor to help Princess Celestia with finding a bird species which had genes that were different enough from her pet phoenix to recommend a playmate with no chance of reproduction. Both projects were wildly successful.

Applicant Signature

Approved |x|

Denied     |  |

Approval Signature

Addendums:

Monthly bit amount is unnecessary. Applicant has no family to support. All necessities and entertainment will be provided on an as-needed basis. Subtract 200 bits from initial payment and recurring payments.

Revised Applicant Signature (if needed)