Captain Prism and Her First Mate Jack: Quest for the Celestial Treasure!
Swirling the last droplets of rum in her mug, a rainbow haired girl sighed, bored.
The bartender, who was wiping water off of some of the mugs she had just finished washing rolled her eyes. "Somethin' the matter, captain?" She asked, eyeing her companion.
"You ever feel eternally bored, Jack?" She asked, downing the last of the rum.
"Ah don't know what ya mean, Dash." Applejack responded.
The captain sighed heavily. "Ya know, like you're missing out on something. Like there's something more to life."
The barmaid chuckled. "Ah never heard you speak so profoundly before. Though Ah see what ya mean. There ain't really much ta see from behind this bar."
"So let's leave." A mischievous toothy crossed the captain's face.
"Now you know Ah can't just up an’ leave the family. Applebloom is only twelve." Applejack responded.
“So? She has Mac and the old hag.” Rainbow Dash dismissed. “C’mon! Don’t you ever wonder what’s out there? You know, beyond this shithole town?”
The barmaid sighed. “Yeah. Ah do. But how we gonna pull this off? You may be a captain, but you don’t have a ship. Or a crew.”
“Don’t worry bout that! I’ve got you, and you’re the only thing I’ll ever need!” The captain let out a hearty drunken laugh, slamming her mug down on the old wooden bar table.
“Yea, me an’ this rum. You know, you got yerself one helluva tab goin’, right?” Applejack grumbled vacantly, watching as the intoxicated woman slumped over her counter.
“Hmm, really? How much do I owe ya?”
“Almost a thousand bits.”
“Damn...Can I pay for it another way?”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”
“You ever had sex with another woman?”
The bartender rolled her eyes. “Forget the tab. Ah can’t have ya drunkenly whoring yourself out to me every time I mention it.”
“Thanks Jack, you’re the best.” Rainbow complimented, clumsily rubbing the other girl’s her forearm. “You should still come with me though. Because I’m going after the Celestial Treasure.”
Applejack leaned over the counter to keep their conversation just between them. She couldn’t have her patrons hearing her speak of that madness. “You know that ain’t nothing but a children’s tale. The Celestial Treasure ain’t real.”
“It is.” Rainbow insisted. She pulled a scroll from her coat pocket. “And I got the map that will lead us right to it.” She smirked, unrolling the parchment to reveal that it was indeed a map. One that could lead them to riches and fame.
Applejack quickly shoved the paper back in her pocket. “D-Don’t go flashin’ that thing ‘round now ya hear? Folks in this town ain’t so nice when it comes ta money!”
Dash’s grin grew bigger. “So. Is that a yes?”
The southern barmaid pinched the bridge of her nose. “Maybe. Ah don’t know. The farm ain’t doing so well with all the taxes governor Sparkle put on us.”
“Speaking of the governor, he has a daughter right?” Dash mused as Applejack passed her a glass of water.
“Yep. A son too. Last Ah heard both of ‘em are in the Celestial Navy.” Applejack responded. “Why’d you ask?”
Dash chuckled. “You’ll see.”
About six hours later, when Luna’s moon shone bright in the sky, the two women stood in front of a brothel. Applejack uncomfortably tugged at her work shirt collar. “Uh, mind tellin’ me what we’re doing here?”
“We’re getting a favor from a friend of mine.” Rainbow responded, pushing the saloon like doors open and walking in. Inside it was pretty much dark, save for a few red tinted lights here and there. They walked down a dimly lit hallway until they reached a room with seven doors. Applejack guess that was where the girls did their business.
They stopped at a desk, where a voluptuous older woman who looked to be no more than ten years older than them sat. “Nice to see you again, Ms. Dash.” She greeted in a deep, sultry southern drawl that made Applejack’s spine tingle. “Ah see you’ve brought a friend.” She added, eyeing Applejack with a suggestive smirk.
Applejack’s eyes widened, as she grasped her hat in her hands. Again? Did that mean Dash was a regular at this place?
Seeing how uncomfortable the barmaid was becoming, Dash got on with it. “Hey, Cherry. Is Pinkie in tonight?” She asked.
“Mhmm. Just like always. Though you’re gonna have to wait a minute, sug. She’s a bit occupied right now.” Ms. Jubilee responded. “Ya’ll can have a seat right there on the couch and Ah’m sure she’ll be right with you.”
Dash pulled Applejack over to the couch in the corner of the room. As they both sat, the farm girl gave her childhood friend an incredulous look. Dash’s eyebrows furrowed. “What?”
“You know what!” Applejack snapped back in a hushed whisper. “What the heck are ya doin’ coming here to a place like this on the regular?!”
Rainbow frowned. “It’s not like that! At least, not now! I just come to see Pinkie. She’s my eyes and ears on the pirate scene. Do you know how many lowlife wannabes come in here looking for a fine lady?”
Applejack didn’t answer.
“She gets all the famous pirates because she’s one of the best whores in town. As such, she gets information from those horn dogs to give to me. Like intel on treasure and things like that.” Dash explained more, waving her hand for emphasis.
As she did, the third door in the circular room opened and a very satisfied man swaggered out with a happy grin on his face no doubt thanks to the curvaceous, busty pink haired woman in a corset standing behind him, bouncing an impressive bag of bits in her hand with a grin of her own.
“Same time next Tuesday, Miss Pie?” He asked with hope in his voice.
Pinkie put a hand on her hip. “Mhmm. If you’re willing to shell out more of those bits.” She blew him a kiss as he tipped his hat at Miss Jubilee before making his way back to the front.
“Looks like things aren’t ever going to slow down for you.” Dash commented, leering at her.
“Dashie!” Pinkie beamed, running over to the pirate. “You came to see me?!” She asked happily.
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my favorite!” Rainbow told her as the other girl sat on her lap. “You got anything new for me, baby?” She added as Pinkie played with her shirt.
“Not yet, Dashie. But I’m sure something will turn up soon!” Pinkie reassured her, kissing her on the cheek. They had almost forgotten that Applejack was sitting right there.
Applejack found the whole thing bizarre. Especially since she never thought Rainbow Dash was into girls. “Uh, maybe we should get back to the matter at hand?” She suggested seeing that Dash was clearly getting distracted by the prostitute.
Dash cleared her throat. “Right. Pinks?” She asked.
“Yes, Dashie?” She responded.
“I need a ship. I don’t have much money, so I can’t buy one. And I need to head out for sea by tomorrow morning. You think you can convince some poor navy lad to give you his ship?” Dash asked her.
Pinkie Pie saluted the captain. “Yes ma’am! But, um, what exactly do you need to head out to sea for?” She wondered, cocking her head to the side in curiousity.
“To find the Celestial Treasure. I know it’s out there. I’m gonna find it. And when I do, I’ll come back and start a family with you.” Dash promised, kissing her hand.
“You mean it, Dashie?!” Pinkie gasped. “You really mean it?”
Rainbow Dash nodded seriously. “Yep. But first. I need that ship. You think you can get it for me?”
“You can count on me!” Pinkie told her, getting up off her lap. A bell out front rang as someone, no doubt another fellow looking for some company, walked in. “Right now though, I think you guys should go. I’m getting kinda busy!”