Scootaloo's Epic Quest to find the Meaning of Life and Waffles

by BarrelRollBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Scootaloo, Random, Adventure, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 1027

Scootaloo finds a waffle one day. Stuff happens.

Scootaloo finds a waffle one day. Stuff happens.

This is a randomfic. Fimfiction needs more of these.

Published 2014-03-10 04:40:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-10 04:40:09 UTC

Cuz errypony likes waffles

Scootaloo was trotting down the street one day only to stop for no apparent reason. She sniffed the air and put on her game face. She then said to absolutely nopony, "I sense a disturbance in the force. I feel like this disturbance should be covered with syrup" Suddenly a hole in space-time was created right before her, only to dispense a waffle. For five minutes, Scootaloo stared at the waffle, her brain too small to comprehend what just happened. Then she finally took a bite. The waffle was so delicious, Scootaloo made a vow to find and eat all the waffles she could.

WAFFLES EATEN: 0 + 1 = 1

While traveling Scootaloo walked across the CMC Clubhouse. When she peeked inside, she saw Aple Blewm and Swety Bel dressed up as Twilight, while reading a book coincidentally called "Twilight". Slutty turned to the Aple thing and asked, "Do you want to find the meaning of life some day?" Aplejak Demon Spawn just shrugged and started to hump the floor. Or do The Worm. Scootaloo wasn't really sure. But Scootaloo was pondering the meaning of life thing. It might be worth her while to find out.

QUEST UPDATED

Find the Meaning of Life (and waffles)

To continue her quest, Scootaloo traveled to Canterlot Castle, in which she sensed another waffle appearence. At the front gate she was greeted by a guard.

" Good evening madam, I am Flash Sandwich. Do you desire to enter the abode of her majesty's?" the guard said, with a very sarcastic tone.

"Wait, isn't your name Flash Sentry?" Scootaloo replied.

The guard then got angry and said, "Don't you dare say that name in front of me!"

He then took out Chrysalis's Cannon from Banned from Equestria (Daily) and launched Scootaloo into the Everfree Forest. Apparently, Chrysalis was walking in the woods looking for Fluffle Puff when Scootaloo killed her by landing on top of her. After wandering in the forest for a while, Scootaloo found a cottage with Zecora dead inside it. Now, Scootaloo was bored, so she took all the potions she could in her hooves and chugged them down. After waiting for a while, because Scootaloo's tiny body couldn't handle the potions, Scootaloo finally broke the 37th wall and fell into noclip space.

While flyin around in noclip space, a waffle zipped passed Scootaloo. She then teleported on top of Canterlot Castle. Scootaloo couldn't believe she missed the waffle. (No literally, she CANNOT believe it. Her mental capacity doesn't allow it)
Because she broke the 37th wall, Scootaloo sprouted Doc Brown hair and exclaimed, "WE NEED TO GO BACK" Then, she descended back into noclip space.

cue matrix slow motion HD waffle bite
WAFFLES EATEN: 1 + 1 = 2

Scootaloo appeared again in the continent of Zebrica. She was in a forest clearing with Princess Luna muttering something about "not being here" and kicking the dirt with her hooves. She then noticed Scootaloo and said, "Well, off to go on my own adventure!" Luna then proceeded to go on her own epic adventure called Luna's Epic Quest to find the Meaning of Life and Bubble Wrap. Scootaloo then sensed a large amount of Waffalic Energy eminating from a faraway castle. She noclip teleported into
the castle only to find a giant dragon guarding a giant stack of waffles. Even better: with BUTTER. Scootaloo then channeled all her inner waffalic energy into one giant Kamehamewaffle Wave. This immediately killed the dragon and turned its particles into waffles, adding to the pile. Using her vacuum cleaner breath, Scootaloo sucked up all the waffles. Being too fat to function, Scootaloo also had a "bigger on the inside" feature, which allowed her to keep all the waffles inside her body.

WAFFLES EATEN: 2 + 34,564,243 = 34,564,245

Suddenly, Scootaloo heard a large thudding sound that sounded like a giant thing humping another giant thing. Scootaloo then crossed her eyes (and dotted her t's) and said in the most black voice ever, "A final boss inside a final boss? Man, this is bullshit!" She then noclip-ed through the floor. Nopony ever found out what the hell the noise was, and probably didn't care either. In noclip space, Scoots saw a bunny defying noclip un-gravity, so the bunny broke the 59th wall. Scootaloo declared a wall breaking war upon the bunny. Over 784675781685264385616764358764396749326756267 walls were broken without the commas and Scoots along with the bunny descended into incep(inception)tion land.

There, they found Luna again, who killed the bunny because she is cruel and doesn't deserve to be liked. Luna felt bad for Scootaloo for no apparent reason, but she teleported Scoots to a few more levels upward using her BubbleWrapian Witchcraft. (By a few, I mean 784675781685264385616764358764396749326756266 levels.) Scootaloo used some Waffalic energy to get to the surface. There, she used the noclip space tracks again, killing all bunnies in her sight because she is also cruel and doesn't deserve to be liked.

Scootaloo returned home using her noclip, which she then used to dispense all her waffles into one pile. Lets just say there was a MAJOR food surplus and everypony was happy. Well, some ponies were disgusted because they thought the waffles were "Scootaloo Waffles", but lets save that for Luna's Epic Quest to find the Meaning of Life and Bubble Wrap, shall we? Rainbow Dash descended from the sky and blessed the holy waffles before they were devoured. The waffles were actually made of cyclops blood but I never told them that. It was probably just as delicious. "Insert creepy smile here"

*****

Twilight sighed and said to Fluffle Puff, "No seriously Fluffle Puff, you should never write stories again. EVER."

The Cutie Mark Crusaders had all gone home after reading Fluffle Puff's story and went to bed early.

Fluffle Puff, not knowing a thing that Twilight just said, just demobus-ed home.

Author's Note

What the hell am I on?

This is not supposed to make fun of Scootaloo's mental capacity. Her problems are not a joke.

If you want to understand the ending, look up "Fluffle Puff Finds the Marker" on Fimfiction.