A Pony Princess, a Reaper, and a Ferryman
Princess Twilight Sparkle gave her reflection in the mirror a beautiful smile. It was a smile filled with happiness, fulfillment, and most importantly, acceptance of what was to come.
It had been many, many years since the day she first became an Alicorn Princess. She wasn't immortal like Celestia and Luna, but she had lived a very long time without physically aging once she grew into her Alicorn body.
“So many wonderful friends,” she said softly to herself. She had been there for all of her friends from the original mane six and several generations afterwards. Each set of Element Bearers were different, but still felt familiar.
Due to her and her first set of friends returning the Tree of Harmony to life, she ended up the "Element of Magic until further notice". She even had a letter and a contract as proof of her status. These items stated her new status clearly without any loopholes.
It even had legal print talking about "Rights to Life" and the conditions for these rights to be considered forfeit. Twilight was absolutely amazed and in awe of the masterful words from the contract. She had used them to "enjoy" herself on lonely nights. A mare has to do what a mare has to do.
The Alicorn Princess didn't really understand the words completely due to not having the proper context. She did understand the gist of it though. She could legally fight for her “Rights to Life” in a specialized court after her death with or without legal representation.
There was an attached letter explaining “Rights to Life” in detail once again, and a business card. Twilight looked over the business card with writing in the middle that read:
“Death have you down?! Do you feel your time was in some manner mishandled, or there was an error in scheduling? Feel free to contact G.A.L.! Leading Afterlife Attorney in the Equine Sector.”
Below the words was a picture of an odd looking creature with a cheesy smile giving a wink. There was even a cartoony speech bubble coming from the thing’s mouth that said, “Hourglass run out?! Give me a Shout!”
The very bottom of the card had small legal writing on it talking about how he could only respond after your life was over. It also talked about fees and such things as well.
Twilight had puzzled over the odd creature on the card for several years before deciding to just toss the card out altogether. After sometime, she would realize he looked like one of those mythical beings known as humans. They were mentioned in stories with great detail. She would eventually become an authority on the things herself.
The card she tossed out was eventually found by the umpteenth generation of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who tried to get their cutie marks in Afterlife Lawyering. After several attempts resulting in near death experiences, which usually involved sap, smoke and ice cream somehow, they gave up on this venture and got their cutie marks in the Pony Stock Exchange. They inadvertently gave G.A.L. some new business once they entered the PSE. It was a time of many Heart attacks at the fact they were in the PSE.
That was all so very long ago now. Twilight had seen many things, and made many great friends over her long life. She had also used the lovely contract to enjoy herself many times as well. She never had luck in the romance department.
Her bad luck wasn't due to lack of interest, or any fault of her own. Shortly after she and the first generation of the Element Bearers unlocked that mystery box, The Order of Virtuous Maidens of Twilight was founded.
This order was made of mares who dedicated their life to studying and being virtuous by following in Twilight’s hoof prints. The purple Alicorn tried to explain to them that didn’t mean no sex. However they decided somehow that remaining maidens was the key to achieving enlightenment as she did. They didn't want to become Alicorns, but they decided carnal desires were only distractions.
Twilight would have just let them think that, and done what and whoever she wanted with the other party's consent. However Celestia, Luna, and even Cadance, told her she must fulfill her ponies’ wishes and ideals as an Alicorn Princess.
Celestia explained that was why she always remained secretive and up on a sort of pedestal, despite the loneliness it sometimes brought her.
Luna explained that was why she watched over dreams and was an object of lustful desires. The dark coated princess wasn't upset with this arrangement .
Cadance claimed that was why she, the Goddess of Love, was always in a sexually open relationship, even when married to Shining Armor. Neither of them really complained about this though, and seemed to be plenty satisfied.
Twilight wasn’t happy about this arrangement, and decided she was getting the raw end of this Alicorn Princess deal. She didn’t see any reason in arguing the point against the others though. She only hoped once she went to heaven it was a consensual orgy, or something like that most of the time. Heck if it was supposed to be paradise like, everypony said, that only made sense it would be to her.
Regardless of her situation, Twilight still had plenty of good ‘virtuous’ fun with her friends. “I guess I will have to ask about the sex thing once I enter the afterlife,” she thought to herself.
She gave that same smile from before again and said, “Won’t be long now at least.”
A year ago she received a letter with the same print as the contract saying her time was coming, and Afterlife Association hoped she would get all of her affairs in a neat order to smooth out the process and minimize the paperwork.
The purple pony found death to be surprisingly very organized. She was even given a step by step guide on how to sort out affairs of all sorts, and come to acceptance of her fate. The book was very thorough and neatly organized as well. This was something Twilight could really appreciate.
{-} {-} {-}
Twilight’s thoughts once again turned to her many friends she had made over the years. Each generation of new Element Bearers were wonderful in their own unique way. She really hoped they had all met each other in the afterlife and became good friends. They were each different in their own way, so this meant they wouldn't clash as much with each other because of being too similar.
Twilight thought about one generation in particular at this moment. It was probably the third generation of bearers. This group stood out because two of them were stallions.
The first stallion was Straight Hoof. He was the third generation of the element Honesty. He was straightly honest about everything pretty much. If you asked him about personal things regarding stallions, he gave you the true answer with as much detail as you wanted.
He actually caused one of the sixth iteration of the CMC to get her cutie mark in relationship advice. The pony’s name was Love Rhythm and she was a pegasus.
Love Rhythm had a very high success rate in fixing relationship problems. Cadance even joked about having to give her the title of "Love Goddess". Sometimes Rhythm's advice would be about achieving greater levels of understanding and communication between partners.
Other times it was. “For crying out loud!!! Just Buck already you two!! Really! You are holding out, and that’s causing the tension between you two to increase. Don’t act like you don’t enjoy it either… Holding out won’t fix anything in your relationship. You two actually have it really good compared to others.”
The other stallion in the third generation was named Cab Gallopway. He was the Element of Laughter, and good at singing as well. Twilight noticed that seemed to be a trait all the Bearers of Laughter possessed.
He always had crazy ideas in his head. Especially about the mythical race of humans. He claimed they existed and were in fact watching everypony's lives and rooting for the ponies as well as laughing and crying with them.
“It seems insanity is also a trait all those who bear the Element of Laughter must possess,” the long time Element of Magic thought to herself half jokingly.
The Princess of Friendship never admitted it, but it was because of Cab that she got into her Human craze period. She even wrote both educational and just for fun books on the beings. She used a pen name, and her books all sold very well.
“I’m just glad they sold well because ponies liked them, and not because everypony knew I was the author,” Twilight said with a small smile to her reflection.
{-} {-} {-}
Twilight stepped away from her mirror, stretched her wings, and let out a long sigh of contentment as she thought of the group of elements before this last one. In this group, the Element of Generosity was very much true to her name…. in every way…
Love Life was a very beautiful pegasus mare. She was also very ‘open minded’ when it came to the subject of intimacy. She didn't mind sharing herself with other ponies, both mare and stallion. So long as you were respectful towards her you would be rewarded richly in some manner.
This manner was often in the form of passionate sex. At the same time though, it could also be in a way that really helped you and your family out in a time of need. Love Life had a knack for finding the best possible way to help out others, and showing her appreciation to the other ponies.
Thanks to this and her immense beauty. She was well respected and appreciated, despite her rather… promiscuous nature. Really though, beauty was a powerful weapon when used correctly.
“Why is it that Generosity is always so beautiful that even I, Princess Freaking Twilight Sparkle, feel threatened. I was actually voted most beautiful Princess the last six times in a row…” Twilight thought to herself. The contest was held every twenty years after the second leap year proceeding the last contest.
She was actually surprised about this title she somehow earned during her Alicornhood. She always thought Celestia or Luna would win it every time. Maybe Cadance stood a chance, but her…? That was something she was thrilled about, and annoyed with at the same time.
Twilight gave a deep sigh, “It's too bad I couldn't capitalize on that title due to The Order,” she said quietly to herself in her room. Still, who knew lavender was such a wonderful and popular coat color.
“Hay, even Celestia was surprised by how popular of a Princess I ended up becoming,” Twilight said aloud and smiled. She thought fondly of her mentor and later lover in a certain respect.
She did have a thing with Celestia. Fortunately the sun goddess didn't care if they never got busy with each other. Hugs, kisses, cuddles, and nuzzles were more than enough for her along with the deeper connection the two pony princesses shared.
Twilight supposed her relationships with the other pony princesses were part of the reason she managed, despite her enforced lack of a sex life. Cadance was always the friendly and caring older sister figure in her life. Luna was the crazy, but oh so lovely and fun sister she had never had.
Celestia was the respectful and deeply romantic lover in her life. It took some time for them to get there, but it worked out in the end. Celestia even reigned in her ‘habits’ for Twilight. The two never had sex, but they were very much in love with each other.
In fact, Celestia was saddened about Twilight’s death that was coming up. The sun goddess wanted to tell her to just accept eternal life, but she respected the purple princess’ choice.
Celestia understood Twilight’s reasons for making this choice. She even vowed to actively search for a replacement for herself, so she could at long last rest and enjoy the afterlife with Twilight. The two even made a silly promise, that if there was sex in the afterlife they would spend a good portion of it catching up on what they had been forced to miss out on.
“It really sucks being a princess that actually lives up to her subjects’ positive opinions,” Twilight said with half sorrow. She didn't hate The Order. In fact, she loved them more dearly than most ponies apart from her fellow Element Bearers.
She thought more about the order, which Sweetie Belle originally founded once she had her cutie mark in music magic manipulation. Twilight had become very close to Rarity’s younger sister, because of the order along with the other members of the group.
The Order of Virtuous Maidens of Twilight was founded after Sweetie Belle got her cutie mark. The little unicorn pony claimed it was because of ‘Twilight Time’ that she was able to figure so many things out about magic and later Equestria in general.
The pony then decided to dedicate her life to discovery and learning just like Twilight had done. Sweetie didn’t care about becoming an Alicorn, or anything like that. She just found a love for studying and magic.
Unfortunately, it was because of a bad break up she had with a certain gaming stallion that she later declared. “Stallions and this sex stuff is just a distraction, which keeps us from unlocking the deeper mysteries of the universe. I can just take care of myself in such matters, and afterwards find a cure for cancer!”
Oddly enough… It was after a long and sweaty session of self-pleasure, that Sweetie Belle did discover a cure to all forms of cancer. This was a shocking moment in the pony community, which brought in many more members to the order, and made it a driving force in politics, economics, science, the fine arts, and pop culture.
Twilight couldn't help but laugh at this memory. It was just so out there, and yet made sense on some level. “Really… The things that happen…” the purple princess said to herself as her laughter died out.
She next spent a good long while staring out into the night sky one last time. Princess Luna made sure this last week had the most beautiful night skies ever. Each night was more and more beautiful than the previous one. It was the Night Princess’ way of seeing Twilight off to the ‘Everlasting Adventure’.
{-} {-} {-}
It was finally time for Twilight to go on to the "Everlasting Adventure", as she told The Order of Virtuous Maidens of Twilight. The purple pony wasn't sure what to expect of death really.
“Will it just end?” Twilight thought to herself. “Maybe everything will just turn dark and that will be it,” her thoughts continued.
She really had no idea what to expect. She had looked for a book on the issue, but the thing is when a pony dies they don’t come back to write a book about it.
This meant all she had as reference were spiritual books, and those that had a ‘vision’ of the afterlife. Usually the ponies who wrote the latter were high off of some kind of substance. This meant you had to take their words with a truck load of salt.
Usually this truck load made for a very entertaining night regardless, that ended with a pony watching old clips of Fairly Odd Ponies, or some other ‘foal show’ late at night. Also there would be shouts of “Awesome as Hay like Rainbow Dash!” through out the night for rather mundane matters.
Twilight finally lay on her bed and closed her eyes.
It wasn't too long before she felt a darkness surround her. The darkness was well… dark… and ness… But it wasn't frightening or anything like that.
Soon the late pony princess, found herself standing on a strange looking dock of some kind in a darkly lit, but still welcoming cavern.
“What the what?” she eloquently asked to no one. This profound statement was shortly followed by an equally world shaking, “Where am I?”
Purple eyes looked around for any clue. Despite the dark darkness, she was able to see just fine in an oddly monochromatic, yet slightly colorful sight.
The eyes settled on a place that seemed to somehow be even darker than the rest of the black almost lightless cavern. From this spot, a tall figure that resembled a bony human emerged in a long black cloak carrying a sword lazily at his side.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle. I am Death. I’m here to take your life at the appointed time,” the figure said in a deep echoing voice, which didn't really seem threatening or scary. In fact, it seemed casual about the matter.
“Huh… I thought you would look like a pony,” the recently departed Alicorn princess stated.
The figure’s hood fell back just a little to show a skull with fiery cold blue orbs. The figure then turned into a pony version of itself and spoke again. “Would this please you more, Princess?”
Twilight stared for a moment and shook her head. “Whatever form you feel is more comfortable is alright. I just didn't know what to expect." The bony being seemed to very polite.
The figure reverted back to his original state. Twilight oddly felt that the figure gave off a masculine feel somehow. “I much prefer this form. I have other forms, but this is my true form.”
Twilight started looking at the bony figure with a scholar’s interest. Death might have been tempted to roll his orbs, but he figured the pony princess deserved this moment. “How many forms do you have, Death sir?” she asked as she cutely cocked her head to the side.
Death’s heart would have warmed at the sight if he had one. He was always surprised by just how cute these pony creatures were. “Many,” he boomed in reply.
Twilight gave a dissatisfied frown to this answer. “How many is 'many'?” She would get answers no matter what.
Death decided he would have to give longer answers in this situation. He should have known better really. Twilight was probably the brightest pony of her age. “More than I can count. I can take on the form of any creature within my jurisdiction, which the auditors substantially increased after an incident a while back. The Equine sector was a more recent addition.”
Twilight’s eyes widened as she thought about just how many different creatures there were in Equestria alone. “You are in charge of more than one sector? Of the universe?” Her voice raised just a little bit in awe.
“Yes. Many of them are human like. The extra sectors don’t matter to me since time and distance have no meaning to me. I even vacationed a little in this ninja world a couple of sectors over. It was rather enjoyable. My first friend, the green bottle, really liked it despite that one incident,” the reaper replied with a surprising hint of fondness in his deep grave like voice.
“Oh! That sounds exciting! Can I somehow visit it?” Twilight asked, momentarily forgetting she was in fact now deceased. Something as simple as death couldn't stop the lovable Alicorn princess when it came to new discoveries in the grand scheme of things anyways.
Death placed a bony hand under his equally bony chin and thought before answering. “After the Deathly Travel Agency was founded by a deceased travel agent from planet Arnak, you can do such a thing. She managed to get in touch with that one Necromancer lawyer fellow long ago, and they took her case to the Afterlife Agency and won.”
Death then gave a grin, even though he was always grinning, but this was a grin that would have been a grin if he had flesh. He then continued, “The Auditors weren’t happy about that one.”
He left out the fact that these Auditors were never happy, because emotion implied humanity. Humanity meant attachment. Attachment meant biased viewpoints. This was something frowned upon when you were a being charged with the eternal duty of watching over time and space.
Their moods, if they had them, weren’t helped by the fact they always had mountains of paperwork in need of properly filling out. Truth be told, when Twilight would later hear about this she would make a visit to them, and find a way to increase their efficiency by 20%. This would cause feelings of joy in the present auditors, who would then implode after experiencing an emotion.
The entire group would then subsequently be replaced by new auditors, who couldn't care less about the increased efficiency, and send the lovely Twilight on an all-expense paid tour of the universe, at her own discretion with as many guests of honor as she chose. They knew for a fact rewards were often the best way to distract silly beings of either life or afterlife from the Auditors highly important business.
Twilight currently had so many questions. She puzzled over which ones were the most important. She had the cutest look of concentration on her face as she thought over the pros and cons of each question.
Were Death not the high level professional he was, he would have broken down then and there and given the pony princess a tight hug. However, he was a professional. He was just glad that he was somewhat prepared for lots of questions from Twilight. He just wasn’t as ready for them as he should have been.
Twilight finally face-hoofed as she realized the most important question of all eternity. It may seem silly, but it was very important to her. She shook her head and asked, “Is there…” She paused and gave a blush. It was a little embarrassing really, but very important.
She began again, “Is there… sex… in the afterlife?” She said the word 'sex' in a quiet voice. She mentally berated herself for this. It seemed her forced celibacy had prevented her from approaching the matter of intimate relations with the maturity of a fully grown mare.
Death could have sworn he heard a mental “dawww…” at her mannerisms. He refused to admit to this though, and kept his ever professional and cool demeanor.
He assumed his thinking pose again. Twilight was very intrigued by the way a skeleton figure could still show such animated behavior. She decided she would make Death her friend. He seemed like a really cool guy once you got to know him.
“Yes it does…” the reaper man answered. Twilight waited for more detail. She was sure there would be more detail about the matter.
“Back in the year of 42-b in sector Amour, there was a court case called 'Amour vs. the afterlife'. In this case, the ruling was in favor of Amour, and allowed for ‘intimate relations of both emotional and physical connections for deceased beings in the afterlife'. It was about this decision the Afterlife Association decided to robustly increase the being power in their legal department,” the soul harvester answered.
Twilight’s purple pupils turned into stars resembling her cutie mark. “This is Rainbow Dash Awesome grade here!!!!” the pony mentally cheered. She gave a little squeak sound and clapped her forehooves together.
Death’s nonexistent heart fluttered to this scene. Still it didn’t diminish his professionalism.
Twilight decided to ask another important question. “So can we be friends, Death sir?”
Death’s eyes would have widened to this, but he didn’t have eyes. Instead his blue fiery orbs glowed brighter. He only had the green bottle, and that one blonde ninja’s family and team as friends. He didn’t have any Royal friends, much less friends from the pony world.
“You don’t mind being friends with the anthropomorphic personification of death?” He asked in a flat emotionless voice that still echoed and held a trace of hope only highly skilled listeners could pickup.
Twilight gave her winning smile as she softly and easily answered him. “Of course I don't mind. I'm dead myself. So there isn't any reason we can’t be friends. Besides I'm considered a goddess in my home world. I don’t think that would make a difference, but if it does… There you have it.”
Death would have given her a true smile, if he wasn't already giving her his perpetual smile. “I would like that I think, Princess Twilight Sparkle.'
Twilight gave him a “pfft” sound, and a dismissive shake of her hoof. “Oh please…” She then gave a lovely and friendly smile. “Just call me Twilight. We're friends now, Death. No need to use my full title.”
“If you say so Princess Twilight Sparkle. I mean Twilight.” The harbinger of death told the dead pony princess. His professionalism didn't allow him to jump into the air and click his bony heels, but he was doing so in his skull.
“Another question, Death. Why can I actually see you? Why did you actually visit me in… spirit? Soul? Skeleton?” Twilight wasn’t sure what the proper term would be for this situation as she placed a fore hoof under her chin.
“Didn’t anyone tell you Arcane Magic Users have the privilege of meeting me when they pass on?” Death would have raised an eyebrow if he had them at her.
“Don’t you mean magic users?” Twilight asked.
“It used to be ‘Magic Users’ but then I would have to visit all ponies in your sector. Earth ponies have their own magic, which allows them to grow food and do many other things. Pegasi have magic in their wings and bodies for controlling weather. Unicorns have magic as well, which they actively manipulate,” he answered.
“So why not say Unicorn Magic Users?” Twilight asked as she gave a questioning glance at her new friend. Even though she was an Alicorn, she still considered her magic from her horn to be unicorn magic.
“It was that at one point, but an afterlife attorney heard the wording, and decided to complain about how unicorns used arcane magic and other beings in the sector did as well. She then said the wording ‘Unicorn Magic Users’ was discriminatory, and should be altered to say ‘Arcane Magic Users’ instead,” the reaper answered.
“Afterlife legal is such a tricky and annoying thing…” Death thought to himself with a sigh.
“After this was brought to Afterlife Association’s attention, they decided to go with the wording she recommended. It matched up with how the other sectors were treated in this regard more or less, so it only made sense,” he finished.
Twilight nodded in understanding. It was proof of her intelligence that she was able to understand all of these rather confusing matters. Death was glad that he could call her friend. It might come in handy one day, even if he wasn’t one to pick friends based on such factors.
Twilight gave her new friend a smile and then blushed, her blush caused Death’s nonexistent heart to once again warm up. She spoke sheepishly to him. “One last question, Death sir. For now at least.” Twilight gave a smile that would have melted Death’s heart if he had one.
“Yes? What is it?” his voice echoed.
“Who’s G.A.L.?” Twilight asked. The reaper rolled his blue glowing orbs.
There a flash and a pop next to the pony princess. “Galvin Alfonzo Lynch at your service.” The biped creature was bowing. He then stood up and gave a big cheesy smile and formed an odd gesture with his thumbs and index fingers on each hand pointing at her.
“Princess Twilight…. Baby! I’ve been waiting for you to give me a shout. How can I help you?” Before she could answer, he pulled out a really thick copy of her contract from earlier.
“Do you want to vie for eternal life? It’s your right under the Equine Sector contract Immortal Being clause in the Alicorn Subsection.” He then gave her another overly bright grin.
“Oh… I am sorry, Mr. Lynch… I didn’t mean to give you ‘a shout’... I was just asking Mr. Death here some questions.” She then gave a whinny and blush that caused even the lawyer’s cold half alive half dead heart to momentarily overflow with cuteness. “I didn’t mean to take up your time, sir. I really am very sorry.”
After a moment’s pause the lawyer spoke again. “Twilight… Baby… please… You don’t want anything? You could reincarnate…” He was pleading her only a little by his standards as he dropped to his knees and folded his hands together. He was a very good afterlife lawyer, but he was also greedy. This was probably why he was such a good lawyer.
Twilight gave a frown and drooped her ears as she answered, “Sorry, sir… But I’m kind of over the whole life thing now. Plus, as intriguing as everlasting life sounds. I don’t like the prospect of being an eternal virgin much.”
She then gave a blush. “After hearing there is sex in the afterlife, I'm actually looking forward to it. It sounds so interesting, and I will have eternity to study everything it has to offer.” She then eagerly clapped her forehooves together and smiled brightly once again.
The lawyer sighed and muttered something about “At least there is still the Canterlot Elite for business…” The unicorns of the capitol always were willing to fight for their ‘Rights to Life’ and they paid really well. The lawyer then vanished and left the two alone.
Death seemed to scratch his bony chin, and wondered if it really was possible for someone to die of cuteness overload once again after seeing how some of these “ponies” were like.
"That one yellow pegasus with the pink mane was bad enough. I remember her name was Fluttershy" he thought to himself. Due to the Elements focusing their power through the Element of Magic, all bearers qualified as “Arcane Magic Users”.
“Well Miss Twilight Sparkle… I believe your ride into the afterlife is on his way. One last thing.” Death then swung his sword at her. He usually used his scythe, but Twilight was royalty. Royalty got the sword instead.
Twilight felt a brief cold spell over her body for a second. The reaper then snapped two fingers, and suddenly the Alicorn was now a very attractive human female in her late teens.
Human Twilight had a very light tan and long hair that matched her mane. She also had a slender, but still healthy body with just the right amount of subtle curve to it. She was wearing a modest outfit as well.
The girl blinked a few more times, and after some thought raised an eyebrow questioningly at the reaper. “For the sake of lessening confusion and unwarranted flame wars… All beings in the afterlife take on this form known as 'Human'. You will still be able to recognize your friends so don’t worry,” he answered her unasked question.
Twilight then blinked and started to examine her new body. This made the afterlife even more interesting she thought. Plus she really looked forward to what these fingers could do. She gave an almost perverse grin as ideas started coming to her mind.
The grin might have spread, but just then she heard a loud clear bell ring. She looked to where the sound seemed to originate. In the darkness before her a lantern soon appeared along with several other lights. The lights were on what looked like an old ancient row boat.
“Good. Right on time. I prefer punctuality,” the reaper said in his grave echoing voice.
“Ahoy! Death! My Friend! How are ye doing?” said an aged and jovial man with a brown cloak covering most of his body.
“As expected. Yourself?” the skeleton replied shortly in his usual voice.
“Fine, fine! This is much better than my last gig. I get to travel more, and see me family! Plus sometimes my passengers are very entertaining. Especially that one there.” The man pointed to a cliché looking nerdy human wearing a really goofy smile.
Death would have raised an eyebrow if he had them and asked, “Why hasn’t he gotten off yet? I still don’t see why he wanted to play that D&D game as his final bid for life. I told him that since he was the Game Master it was considered my victory when the game ended.”
The ferryman shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t rightly know… I think he just wanted it to be an epic last game of his own creation or something. He keeps telling others all about it. I told him we had reached his destination earlier, but he didn’t seem to believe me.”
The man then stage whispered, “I think he was shocked by the beauties waiting ashore.”
Death gave a nod. “Ahhh yes… the ‘sexy nerdy’ girls.”
Twilight might have asked questions about their discussion, but she was too busy studying the boat, and some of the passengers in it.
Death then looked to a tall man wearing ancient armor that looked like a samurai’s armor. The man was pale skinned and had black spiky hair reaching his waist. The man had odd red colored eyes with some strange black circular pattern on them.
“I can’t believe I lost… I have the blessed eyes…” The man muttered in a hollow voice unaware of the others.
“This one here’s a mumbler… I tried telling him he wasn’t some god like man despite his eyes and all that. He won’t listen though. I suppose he will eventually come to terms with it in the end. I don’t pity him for where he's going though. I wouldn't want to go to that horrible place, but he does deserve it. He also keeps mumbling about those blonde men,” the Ferryman said.
The boatman then looked up, gave a smile and asked, “How are those two lads anyways?”
“The older man is still glad I made that deal with him, and didn’t leave his son parent-less. The younger one is happily married to that girl with the light lavender eyes and still Hokage. He loves his job and his family. The two have kids now. That world has been a blast, since that Shinigami’s nonsense is finally sorted out,” Death replied.
Twilight looked quizzically at the mumbling man’s eyes. She was tempted to poke him, or wave a hand in front of his face, but decided against it.
The brown robed man gave a hearty laugh. “I have a feeling it will be a long millennium for him. Office duty the whole time," the man shook his head. "I would pity him, but he was reckless with his charges. You ended up having to step in and clean up that mess. Good thing you were there already on vacation, or you might have given him an even worse punishment.” He gave a chuckle as Death shook his skull, and Twilight kept examining the boat.
The man finally looked to the young girl after a few more minuets. “So I guess this here is my new passenger?”
Twilight looked to him and gave a very elegant curtsy. “Hi! I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle. It is an honor to make your acquaintance mister…”
“Charon. That’s my name. I used to only carry the souls of the damned to their fate, but due to changes in procedure and management at Afterlife Association. I am charged with ferrying all souls, whether to eternal happiness or eternal sorrow. I know for sure you will be going to eternal happiness, Princess.” He then gave a friendly grin to her.
“I haven’t really been on a boat ride before. This is exciting!” Twilight said as she got on board. She chose to sit by the nerdy guy.
“Want to hear about my Game of Dungeons and Dragons with The Grim Reaper himself?!” He asked with an excited smile.
Twilight’s purple eyes sparkled. “Your World had that game as well?!” He nodded. She then clapped her hands, gave a cheer and even gave him a hug. The guy could only blink, and then smile widely as he started his tale.
“It was a rather pleasant day. When suddenly a dark Figure approached me. He said I was a 'wizard' in my world, and I could play a game for my life, or just go into the afterlife. I wanted to play one last game, and make it the most epic ever to have been played….” the guy started his tale as Twilight listened attentively.
The ferryman gave a little laugh and shook his head. He then waved farewell to his bony friend as the boat turned around and headed to its next stop. There was a 3:47 group pickup from a botched cult meeting in sector 6-784df. It was a botched meeting because the group drank the punch before the leader finished his preaching about the wrongs of chickens, and how these vile creatures were ruining the multiverse with their experiments on cows.
Death just stood there and watched the boat fade into the dark distance. He was a little happy. The appointment had gone fairly well, even with all of the questions, and he now had another friend.
"I wish all my appointments were as pleasant as Twilight," the grim reaper said to himself.
He then looked to one of his many hourglasses, and gave a half amused sigh. "Well might as well see how that wizard fellow on my home world once again manages to find a way out of an incredibly unlikely and extra deadly situation as he always does."
The bony man then called for his white horse, and soon disappeared into a swirl of midnight blue and black. It was time for his next appointment. He had chosen peanuts as his snack this time with an orange soda as the drink. It was always a show when Rincewind was involved. The wizard was the only mortal being who repeatedly managed to escape his grasp.
Author's Note
Yah I know really odd and random. Maybe not even believable or whatever. All I know is one night I was like Discworld is awesome… Death from Discworld is awesome…. Ponies are really awesome too. Why has this pure unadulterated fun insanity not been combined?!
I don’t know if it has been or not, but I wrote this story anyways. Also I wasn't sure how to make small caps like Death usually speaks in so I went with bold instead.
Addendum: I made references to a story that I have written a little about on another site, regarding events that have not happened in that story yet... They won't for a long time either. I was just like "Ha Ha! I will add this for the heck of it! They will never understand." *insert evil laugh*
One last Addendum: In case you can't tell... Princess Twilight Sparkle is my favorite pony and princess!!! Not that I don't like the others, but I just love Twilight more is all. Call it main character bias if you want or whatever, but it is the truth.
