Rainbow Dash forgot to clear the skies today. But it’s okay, because I’ll go find her sleeping late in her house and wake her up and she’ll make the clouds go away, and it’ll be all better.
Pinkie Pie hums as she trots merrily along the ashy path leading to her pegasus friend’s cloud home. Nopony is in sight, which is strange because it’s a lovely day outside, despite the ground being as grey as the sky, but she doesn’t think about that for too long. After all, she has a lazy-bones pegasus to find!
It’s quite windy outside, blowing a hot breeze down Pinkie’s neck. Unusually hot for such a cloudy day. Maybe one of the weather ponies messed up again – probably Ditsy. She’s the sweetest little mare in the world, Pinkie muses as she approaches the looming shape of the cloud, but as ditsy as a doornail sometimes.
Wait. That didn’t sound right. That wasn’t how the saying went. What was it again?
Dark as a doornail?
Finally Pinkie comes directly under Rainbow Dash’s house, staring up at it with intense blue eyes. “Dashie! Wake up! The sky is dark and you need to fix it, silly filly!”
After a few seconds with no response, Pinkie cocks her head to one side, plopping down on her rear and gazing upwards. “Dashie! Rainbow Da-ash!”
Still no answer, no familiar rusty laugh and cyan head poking out from the fluffy, unstable white wall. No Rainbow Dash calling back to her, “Be there in a sec, Pinks!” Nothing. The air is getting unbearably hot, but Pinkie doesn’t particularly care.
“Wow,” she finally remarks out loud. “Dashie must be in a really, really deep sleep. There’s got to be somepony else who can fix the sky, right?” Of course. Because she’s just sleeping. Of course!
Pinkie strokes her chin with one hoof, narrowing her eyes, deep in thought. The answer hits her, quite literally, on the side of the head. Well, perhaps the answer doesn’t hit her, but a stray rock does. Picking it up, Pinkie stares around at the sky. “Where did this come from?” she whispers, barely audible.
Not that anypony is around to hear her.
Everything feels fuzzy. The heat is scorching. Darkness swims before her.
Pinkie Pie closes her eyes.
--
Rainbow Dash totally cleared the skies today, and that’s why the world is so happy and bright and blue and filled with smiles all around, the largest one worn by me, Pinkie Pie! Now I’m gonna go find her and we’re gonna prank somepony and it’s gonna be the best day EVER!
When Pinkie opens her eyes, she almost laughs with relief. The sky is back to normal, there’s a cold breeze blowing, and Rainbow Dash is right in front of her, leaning close enough that a few stray rainbow strands of her mane tickling Pinkie’s muzzle, and snorting.
“You drool in your sleep,” she points out, biting her lip and obviously trying hard not to explode with giggles. Pinkie rolls her eyes and playfully punches her best friend in the front leg, right near the shoulder where she knows Dashie finds it the most irritating. Lovably irritating, though.
“And I was having a super weird dream, too.” Pinkie’s eyes widen; she stares off into space, remembering the hot, grey sky, the falling rocks, the ashy roads. There was a saying she was trying to remember.
Dumb as a doornail?
Dash shrugs, flapping in the sky. “It doesn’t matter now that you’re back in the real world with us,” she replies airily, and Pinkie nods, beaming, because she is absolutely right. And since she’s in the best real world she can possibly be, she has to take advantage of everything before the dream happens again, because it always happens. The dream always comes back. There has to be somepony they can visit. There has to be.
There is!
“Do you wanna go hang out with Twi?” the earth pony asks, hopping up and down and around, relishing the feel of the cold green grass, lush and plentiful, under her hooves. Dash nods, winking. Pinkie knows that wink, that smile. This is going to be a challenge, a race.
Pinkie Pie narrows her eyes, licking her lips mischievously. “You’re on.”
The wind whistles in her ears. Birds sing as they perform lazy loops in the sky. Rainbow Dash is beating her wings frantically as they duel for the almighty title of “First to reach Twilight’s place.”
And everything is perfect.
But Pinkie soon feels drowsy – right in the middle of racing, too! – and shudders, a tremble going through her entire body, like her Pinkie Sense but so much more. Everything is dark for a very short moment.
Pinkie Pie opens her eyes.
--
The sky is still grey, and Rainbow Dash was too much of a lazy-mare to get up and clear it, so I’m going to find Twilight! Once I find Twi, she can use a magic spell to make the skies bright and blue and beautiful again, and everypony will be happy, and everypony will smile!
Back here again? Pinkie bites her lip, unintentionally drawing salty-tasting blood that trickles down the side of her mouth. But she was just about to race Dashie to Twi’s house!
Well, in this dream she could still visit Twilight. Maybe she could use her super fancy alicorn magical powers to clear the sky and make the whole world beautiful so that she could have a great dream and a great life. Wouldn’t that be something!
Having made up her mind, Pinkie gets to her hooves, wincing at a jolt of pain that shoots through her temple, right about where the rock had hit her earlier. Strange – why did it hurt so much in a dream, when in real life nothing ever hurt at all?
Nothing to worry about. Pinkie forces a smile on her face, cantering down the ashy path and trying not to slip, putting on a burst of speed when she sees the familiar branches of the Golden Oaks Library. It’s strange, though – the leaves have all fallen off, and it’s not even winter yet. Maybe Twilight wanted to do some redecorating?
Yes, that has to be it. Maybe I can go help her!
“Twili!” Pinkie trills, bouncing merrily around the library and calling as loud as she can. “Twi, I want to help you redecorate after you make the sky all pretty again and make everything okay!” When she receives no answer, she clicks her tongue. “So busy redecorating! I’m coming in, okay?” And without waiting for a reply, she trots inside, her temple still stinging and mind still wondering about the phrase.
Daft as a doornail?
Inside the library, she’s treated to a shocking scene.
All of the books are gone, reduced to nothing but ashes or little melted lava spots. Lava? How in Celestia’s name did lava get here? Pinkie heads around the puddles cautiously, noting the ash and fires spreading all over, the blistering heat burning her up, and the blood still dripping down her own lip. Against her will she starts to tremble uncontrollably. Something isn’t right…something isn’t right…what isn’t right…?
“Of course!” Her grin reappears almost instantly, chest moving quickly as she tries desperately not to hyperventilate. “Twilight’s just going really overboard with her redecorating! That’s it, that’s it, that’s got to be it!” Pinkie Pie giggles, the shrieks high-pitched and eerie, starting to walk faster and faster. “I’ll help you, Twi! Twilight! Twilight!”
Pinkie Pie steps on something that makes a loud crunch.
She looks down slowly, and fights back the scream rising in her throat.
The splintered skull of an alicorn, still partly stained with red blood, eye-sockets wide and blank, stares up at her.
The world is spinning. The world is too hot. Her blood is on fire and all of a sudden she just wants to run, run, run away from it all but she also wants to curl up in a ball and cry or maybe just go to sleep but she does none of those things.
She smiles.
“I didn’t know Twilight was researching alicorn bones. How nice! Maybe she’s trying to harness her full…power…or something…”
Pinkie Pie closes her eyes.
--
The sky is bright and beautiful, and so is Golden Oaks Library! Dashie and I are going to see Twilight to see if we can hang out, or if she wants to play with us, or do something that’s lots and lots and lots of fun! I, Pinkie Pie, have the best life ever, with the best friends in the most perfect and beautiful world, and I wouldn’t want it any other way!
“Hi, Rainbow Dash! Pinkie Pie! Come on in.”
Twilight uses her magic to open the door and the two ponies head inside, commenting on things like the weather and the newest Daring Do book, and things of the like. Spike hurries downstairs with three cups of tea, which each mare gladly takes, sitting around the table like the old friends they are.
Pinkie is thrilled to see the library in mint condition, but she’s not exactly sure why, so she changes the subject.
“Where’re the others? Shouldn’t they be hanging out with us and having a lot of fun just like we are?” Even the idea of her three other friends missing out on a blast with Twilight and Dashie makes Pinkie’s smile turn into a dejected frown.
Twilight stirs her cup of tea with a spoon, looking up. “I know that Fluttershy is helping out Applejack with some of the critters at the farm today. I think she said Winona needed some sort of check-up?”
Dashie nods, resting one foreleg on the table. “She told me about that. Winona has a yearly that she needs done, and Fluttershy is the gal for the job!”
Pinkie nods in her own agreement. “Well, of course! Nopony is better at working with little furry animals than our friend Flutters!” She twists up her face. “…or big furry animals. Or big not furry animals…or little not furry animals.”
Damp as a doornail?
Why is she still thinking about that saying? Anyways, it’s not even right. She probably doesn’t know it anyways. Just think about spending time with your friends, Pinkie. Time with your friends.
But now she can’t think, and her mind is racing and something is wrong because her head is throbbing and it feels like someone is shaking her and yelling in her ear and now Twi and Dashie are staring at her because she’s shaking back and forth and –
“PINKIE PIE, WAKE UP!”
Pinkie Pie opens her eyes.
--
No time to think no time to think so hot everything is so hot and the skies are turning grey and red rocks are starting to fall and Twilight and Dashie and everypony what’s going on I don’t understand I don’t understand but I have to smile I have to smile I have to smile.
Pinkie jerks upright to find a panicked baby dragon shaking her madly, little pointed claws digging into her side. When he sees her move his green eyes widen, leaking tears, and he embraces her. “You’re okay! Pinkie…Pinkie, I thought…”
“What’s going on?” It’s not just her head that hurts anymore, it’s everything; it feels like her body is on fire. “Where’s Twilight and Dashie and AJ and Flutters and Rarity and –”
He stares at her, breathing heavily, then shakes his head. “We have to go, Pinkie.” Latching on to one of her hooves with his claws, Spike pulls. “We have to get out of here…it’s not safe. I think Cadence is sending the Crystal Train over to evacuate the survivors…the storm can’t reach us there.”
Pinkie stares at him. Her whole body is weighed down and she thinks she just put her hoof in a puddle of lava but she’s not quite sure and everything is confusing and his words don’t even make sense…
“I don’t understand.”
Spike stops and stares at her, momentarily letting her hoof go slack. “What don’t you understand?” His voice rises to a high-pitched wail. “Pinkie, we have to get out of here! We’re all going to die! The second round is coming!”
Something triggers in the back of Pinkie Pie’s mind; she vaguely notices that the air is getting hotter and hotter but now she doesn’t even care. Blue eyes lock onto insanely panicked green. “Spike?”
He’s hyperventilating, but manages to answer. “Y-Yes?”
“How does that doornail expression go? You know, ‘something as a doornail?’” Yes, the air is most certainly starting to sizzle, and it bubbles on Pinkie Pie’s skin, but she hardly notices.
“Pinkie,” Spike pleads, tears streaming down his face as he stares at the sky, watching the rapidly approaching ball of pure energy hurtle towards them. “Pinkie, we have to go, I can’t put up with this now…Pinkie Pie, please! I don’t want to lose you too!”
Her voice is icy calm. “Tell me the answer, Spike.”
Sobbing, he screams.
There’s an explosion of bright red fire.
And finally she remembers. Opening her mouth, ignoring the flames that’ve engulfed her body, she whispers, “Dead as a doornail.”
She smiles.
Pinkie Pie closes her eyes for the last time.
--
I used to have really yucky dreams. They always came back, whether I liked them or not, and they always made me very, very sad. But here, where the skies are blue and Rainbow Dash always does her job and Twilight is always here to talk and Spike is always here to teach me things I didn’t know, here is my home. Here I’m happy. Here I’m with all of my friends, and nothing bad ever happens, and I never seem to grow any older, and we don’t even have to keep track of time, because who needs time when your life is perfect?
My name is Pinkie Pie, and many years ago I used to have nightmares about a world on fire.
But I haven’t had a nightmare for years and years.
So every day I smile.
And every day is perfect.
