This was familiar, I realized, head bobbling. And indeed, I could recall a very similar position once before. I had apparently even tried to stretch my neck at the time to offer a better grip. Well, this time I would make her work for it, I decided, trying to forcibly stabilize myself. After all, Princess Celestia claimed a sitting princess rarely had time to exercise properly, and it would not do for these ponies to see their ruler go soft. We would also have to have words about her technique; I know a number of ponies believe that the ‘third time is the charm’, but if she only practiced this skill every few years she would be unlikely to learn. She did not even have a proper grip upon my neck this time, I realized somewhat dourly, instead seizing me by the shoulders.

I was also beginning to doubt the supposed ‘common knowledge’ that a new child was a joyous event, because Princess Cadance bombarded me with all manner of questions and demands as soon as her tongue unknotted from the back of her throat; I’d very nearly been forced to attempt compressions to resolve that matter, and her next action had been to seize me and provide the aforementioned vigorous shaking.

“How, when, why?! Does Topaz know - of course she does she’s probably Topaz’s - oh Harmony Idol you need to take paternity leave you can’t just leave a new mother with a filly- I didn’t even know she was pregnant do changelings give birth that fast oh my goodness was she pregnant all along is that why she was-”

I had also been trying to interrupt this onrush of questions “Princess Cadance. Princess Cadance. Allow me to- no, Princess, I-” A particularly vigorous shake caused me to set teeth to tongue in a most unpleasant way, and I found I was done. “Cady!”

The Princess froze, staring at me in shock, emotions running so wild I could scarcely snatch upon them. “...D… do you remember-”

“I do not. Or do, vaguely, but not the why. I know that is important to you, regardless of how inappropriate it is, and know that I rarely name you such.” I gently pried her hooves from myself, taking a moment to compose myself, working my jaw a bit to try to alleviate the pain. “Drastic times called for measures in the like. I feared the possibility of my head falling off. Will you give me a moment to explain the situation?”

A royal eye twitched. “...I can try.”

I blinked, taken aback. “You are upset with me,” I verified, not… fully certain why, but beginning to piece it together. Princess Cadance had strong opinions on parenthood and had issues with abandonment. My cavalier revelation of offspring was almost certainly the exact wrong way to have gone about this, but I had been so naturally comfortable doing so- I lacked the emotional memory to consider discussing my issues with the Princess, but apparently speaking frankly to her was something I did out of habit?

“No, no,” came the quick reassurance, but her shaking hooves were framing her face as she fell to her haunches, and then she continued to gesticulate wildly. “I’m absolutely furious with you! Idol, this is such a big thing! When did this happen?!”

“Two… perhaps three years-”

“You had a foal years ago and never told us anything?! Shining hadn’t even proposed to me and you had a child-”

“I have a nymph it is not the same-” Oh tartarus, those were the wrong words. I was forced to use the table the helm had been sitting upon as cover to shield myself from the approaching alicorn, keeping it between us at all costs. “-will you please-!”

“What do you bucking mean it’s not the same-”

“Please, your majesty, I am not ready for this to become public-!” Again, bad phrasing, and I knew it as soon as the words had left my lips. “I fear for her safety!”

Finally, she froze, no longer trying to corner me, though her breath was ragged. “Alright. Alright. I’m calm. I’m good!” A short puff of breath. “Okay. Explain yourself.”

I found myself peeking over the tabletop. “First and foremost, I must explain that there is a matter of terminology-”

Her voice could have chiseled through stone if the flare of temper did not liquify it. “Idol…”

Clearly, I was still in danger, and the door was too far for reasonable escape. “It is important! My kind do not have live births, we lay eggs, the eggs hatch into larvae, the larvae molt into nymphs, the nymphs mature into adulthood. At no point in my life was I aware of the existence of this nymph in question prior to meeting her because she is not my spawn! She was brought to me by a nurse who delivered her to my care. This… daughter business is very complicated and not changeling. I am… very new to this.”

Her eyes narrowed, but she began to nod slowly. “So you don’t have a baby, or even a very young foal… but she’s not much older?”

“Somewhere thereabouts,” I agreed, relieved, but not so much as to divest myself of the protection of a sturdy table. “My people do not keep track of ages like ponies do. But she is… roughly of the age where she would have been assigned her duties for the hive, I suppose. Her training is incomplete, but I do not think it is by very much.”

“...So she’s trying to find her cutie mark?”

“She would be about the age where ponies do so, in development if not years. I am not sure if the timetables align. But… yes, let us say so.”

“...Alright… but why did they bring her to you?”

“I do not think it was me specifically the nurse intended to leave her with, just any drone capable of feeding her. I do not think this arrangement is what you would call an official one, nor do I truly believe it is one approved by the Queen. We do not typically raise our young individually, it is the duty of dedicated caretakers but the Nymph is…” I gave an uncomfortable shrug. “Unusual?”

“Every foal is strange, it’s kind of the way things are. So what?”

“It is not so common for us. We are…” I struggled, annoyed that this was so hard to express. “It does not work that way. We all fit where we are needed.”

And I’d lost her. “...So?”

“The Nymph was trained to be one who gathers love from ponies, but cannot make herself accurately match the pony she is replacing. Some sort of… chromia, Topaz says.”

Her head tilted still further, and she looked even more confused, but I could taste anger in the very air. “Idol. Are you telling me they sent her out of her… hive, her home, to live with a stranger, because she’s colorblind?”

Oh. She did understand! “Yes, that. Wait- wait!” I ducked below the table again as the anger threatened to bubble over. “You are taking this very harshly. Even Princess Celestia was not this displeased-.”

“I’m not angry at you, Idol! I might like to beat the tar out of your queen, but- wait, Auntie knows?!”

“Please do not joke about starting an ongoing war between our species. And I would very much like to not repeat the events leading up to the wedding ever, thank you. And… she only very recently found out as well, yes. I am trying to start from the beginning!”

“Skip a bit, then, but I’m not promising anything.”

I gave a sigh. “Fine. Please do not interrupt, then.” I tried to arrange my thoughts as she begrudgingly nodded her acceptance.. “Changelings do not typically have names. So the Nurse who gave me the Nymph was, as far as I know, just ‘a Nurse’ or ‘the Nurse’ and the young changeling was, for a long time, just ‘The Nymph’ to me. She stayed in in the sewers-”

“The sewers-”

“It is a fine enough place for a changeling, it is cleaner than you would think, warm, and damp. It was fine. Plenty of superheroes live in sewers!” Cady blinked a few times, but I think I had successfully disarmed her response. “And yes. The sewers. And that was fine until… Discord flooded the city with cotton candy and magical runoff.”

“The poor thing! Oh Harmony, she must have been terrified-”

“She was fine, she managed to get herself to under Topaz’s house and… then got caught in a giant bug trap. But the important thing is, Topaz found out, and I have been much better about raising her in a pony fashion since then! And I found out she does have a name! Which is Cersus.”

“You didn’t know your daughter had a name?!”

I gave up. “I did not have a name! We do not have names! We do not… converse, or distinguish ourselves. We are our roles, and… and that is all we are supposed to be. Those who are out of the hive, interacting with ponies, they have names because they apparently must. I do not… I do not know how else to explain it.”

“So why does the Queen have a name?”

“I… what?”

“The Queen. You told me she was Queen Chrysalis, of the changelings. How come she gets a name? It doesn’t sound like she goes out and about often.”

I stared.

“...Well?”

I blinked. Then, for good measure, blinked again, then stared more.

“...Idol?”

“...I… I do not know.” I confessed, shocked. “...She is the Queen, it is the most important role, and yet… she is not only the Queen. She is the only Queen there has ever been, and yet… she does have a name.” It did not make sense. I had never thought of it, but now…? Now it bothered me. “...Is that somehow relevant?”

“Well… no, probably not. Just thought it was weird.”

I rolled that about in my mind for a moment, then grimaced. “It… might be? I am only an excavator, I expand the hive by digging holes. That was… essentially, all I needed to know.”

“I’m starting to understand why you’re so… uh… ‘it is what it is’-y. We always just kind of assumed you had it all figured out and were confident in how things were going.”

“Order preserve me, no. You ponies always have me in a panic. I simply cannot express that fundamental terror without likely killing myself with the drain on my emotional stores.”

“I think that’s the most Twilight thing you’ve ever said.”

“Twilight the Younger or Twilight the Elder?”

“First off, if Velvet ever hears you calling her that, she might hurt you. Secondly, you know darn well which. Alright, you’ve got a child, she has a name, and you didn’t give it to her, and for changeling reasons, it never occurred to you that she would. Changelings don’t normally have names, which is weird but okay. How did Auntie get involved…?”

I shuffled, still unsure how much pride and shame I should feel at this entire event. “After she saved her friends during the invasion, she enlisted them to help… extricate me from beneath the castle.”

The pink princess blinked a few times, then delighted comprehension dawned. “The missing foals! She saved them, they got saved too hard and she couldn’t get them back home right away, and then she tried to stage a jailbreak!?”

Why ponies have such a romantic view of escaping legal punishment for a system they willingly followed, I will never understand. “She… misunderstood some key elements of the process. She… delivered a manilla folder.”

Cadance slowly covered her mouth, but her eyes welled with tears of mirth. “...However did you not escape with such brilliant schemers?”

“I told her, and them, to go home. Instead she… tried again, at night, by… impersonating Celestia, and ordering my release.”

“Oh.” The mirth slowly faded, turning to dread. “...Oh no.”

“Indeed. Perhaps fortunately, her disguise was incorrectly sized, and due to her inability to discern certain colors, far too pink. She only managed to confuse the guards into retrieving the actual Princess, who in turn retrieved me… and then the nymph had something of an emotional breakdown at the failure of her plans and the various preceding events. Princess Celestia demanded I intervene, and… when all was calm, informed me that I was the Nymph… Cersus’s father. It is not… a thing I have come to terms with, as of yet. Nor one I have discussed with Cersus. There has not been time. My hesitance to claim the title is multifold; I am not her sire, I have not adopted her legally, and I do not know that she seeks me to act in the role. Topaz is not her mother by the same token, and even if I were to be officially Cersus’s paternal figure, Topaz would not become the de facto maternal figure because-” I hesitated, “-because… we are not ‘official’ either? I am not entirely sure what we are doing, officially, and it is very distressing. How am I to explain the situation to the nymph when I barely comprehend current events myself?”

“I suppose that’s fair, but you have friends who can help you, all you have to do is ask. So what happened?”

“Princess Celestia saw a distressed filly who currently looked… reasonably like her. I fear if I had not accepted her demand that I recognize claim, she would have made her own.”

The princess put her head on the table. “She would have, and a sudden secret daughter out of nowhere after a changeling invasion? Even she couldn’t pull that off.”

“I think had I not stepped up, she would have done so before allowing Cersus to remain uncomforted.”

“So Auntie has a new project filly. I’m not sure you can bring her here. When she got attached to Twilight…”

“She does tend to crowd out the competition, however unintentionally. But perhaps that is good for Cersus?”

Cadance looked up from the table, giving me a look filled with old pain. “No amount of ‘interested aunt’ will ever take the place of loving parents, Idol. And the fact that you’re this troubled makes me think that there’s a lot more going on than you want to admit.”

“I am… attached to the nymph, yes. And I dread the very idea that I am to be her primary source of example. I am a failed changeling. I have stood against my Queen, a thing that no drone should ever do, and I was nearly destroyed for it. How can I do else but shape her in my own flawed image? What parent would want such a thing?”

“No parent would, but she’s still her own filly, Idol. It sounds like you’ve been trying to raise her as a proper changeling, and… while I have some qualms with that, and some of the choices you’ve made-”

“The sewer?”

“Mmm, still don’t like that, no,” accepted the alicorn of love, giving me a stern look. “But apart from all that, she tried to get you back when she was having a difficult time. I think it says a lot about what you two have.”

“I am to take care of her, and she is in my charge.”

She snorted, pursing her lips. “...Do the… Nurses, I guess, care about the… larvae, or nymphs, or whatever?”

“They tend to them at both stages, and… I suppose they must. Our young are ravenous; larvae eat almost as much as an adult, and consume more than twice as much love besides. Nymphs eat slightly less, but until they mature they are still quite resource intensive.”

“So what’s the difference between a nymph and an adult?”

“They’ve been to the Queen.”

“...Where she does…?”

“I… don’t know? She examines them? Ensures they’re properly trained, I suppose…?”

Cadance chewed on her cheek. “Idol, I can’t make heads or tails out of your people. I don’t… know how to deal with a culture that doesn’t consider you an adult until your ruler gives her nod. What if Cersus never goes back to your hive?”

“Then I will have failed it and her alike.”

“That’s… but what if she doesn’t want to go back?”

“...Then I will have failed it and her alike,” I reiterated, expressing my lack of distinction in the two events.

“What if the hive isn’t worth returning to?”

“...Your highness, I cannot express to you how deeply horrifying that concept is to me. To not live with the hive is to die alone. It is… not changeling.”

“...and when the Queen offered you the chance to return, you didn’t take it.”

“...No. I did not. And… I do not regret the decision. But-” And I could explain no further, because the Princess had seized me yet again, this time with an embrace, and I felt some of my troubles ease.

“I’m still sorry I cost you that, Idol. I don’t know that I understand, but… I think I get a bit of where you’re coming from. But whether or not you belong with your hive, you also belong here, with us. And in Canterlot, too. And you can talk to us about it, anytime.”

“So instead of one place I do not belong, there are multiple places where I do? That’s not better, and yet somehow, it is. Thank you, Your Highness. Cady.” I received a heartfelt smile for my efforts, and some small glimmer of understanding for how Shining could have approached her in the first place. “I suppose now the only thing to do is tell the Prince.”

Her expression froze into something less of a smile. “Oh, no, we absolutely cannot tell Shining about this right now.”

“...Were we not just discussing that I need to be more forthcoming about all of this?”

“Oh, yeah, absolutely, but Shining is… not… ready for more changelings yet. Very not ready. Just… let me tell him? He’s going to need some… working on, first.”

“Honestly, that sounds like a recipe for disaster, Your Highness.”

“Yyyeah. But then it’d be my fault, not yours? I can figure this out. Please? I think if it comes from you, right now, it might… I don’t know. He’s going to take it even worse than I did. We’re trying to work through his issues, but a new changeling, one he doesn’t know, in the Empire? There’s no way it goes well. I’m sorry, Idol, but… please.”

I had to mull it over. I was not… I was not sure I could do this. This was… denying my Prince information. It was a denial of who and what I was, what I was latching myself onto. But… “...if you so order it, so it shall be.”

Cadance muttered something under her breath that did not sound confident, but she let out a slow breath through her teeth. “Alright. I order you to let me handle this with Shining, because I’m trying to preserve your friendship and my husband’s sanity.”

“The last may be impossible. Ponies are crazy.”

“Heyyy!”

“Deny it.”

“That’s not fair, you know I can’t. So. Any ideas for how to fix the situation here?”

“An inkling. You’re not going to like it.”

Cadance continued to side-eye me on the balcony as the former Crystal Empire Guard stood in formation, all their old Sombran equipment prepared in piles before each of them, each going through and putting their suits together. “You know, I still don’t like it.”

Shining turned, giving her a disbelieving look. “You were the one who convinced me to let him do it!”

“I don’t like it, Shiny, that’s not the same thing as not thinking it could work.” She hesitated, looking over the balcony. “It… Harmony, it feels bad out there. They didn’t feel like that in the armory. I do think he’s right, but… it’s just awful.” She shook her head. “...Some of them kept it in their homes…”

She did not know the half of it. The misery on the training grounds was a miasma, and not all of it unnatural. Fear too deep to be anything but dread, resignation. Some of the soldiers looked ready to weep at the very sight of their old equipment, and even as I watched, several traded helmets back and forth. I disliked being proven right; even though Shining and Cadance alike had assured me there was nothing distinctive about the helms save size, every helm seemed to gravitate to a specific pony, as I trailed one was passed almost directly across the formation past several ponies who could have easily worn it, all the way to the back row from the very front. Under or oversized armor was accepted without complaint, even pieces that would not fit together well only exchanged when necessary, but the helms always found their way to what I presumed to be their original owners, each approaching that same look of old despair. And still, still they took them, and in so doing, seemed to wake something within the armor. The influence was not merely compelling, it was corrupting. Not quite alive, but certainly more than mere simple magic. That they even put the armor on even momentarily was proof of their obedience. That none of them went against those orders and put on the accursed helmets was both a small mercy, and a sliver of hope.

Not far past the boundary of the grounds, just at the edge of my vision, a group of foals that had been playing and racing about since that morning had begun to squabble with each other. I caught faint snatches of their conversation; something about a competition, a small-scale marathon between them, and who had placed first. The argument was minor, but surprisingly vicious. Only when one began to cry was the fight averted, but I had the sense that it was a near thing, given the fearful looks cast to the palace, as if they sensed my attention… or that of something worse.

It was but a tiny symptom of a much larger problem: these ponies were not ready to be free. A week of study, of talking with them, learning about them, had only reinforced my understanding of that simple fact. They feared it, and yet my Prince wished it. And thus, I would force it upon them, whether they in turn wanted it or not.

I stepped forward, and began to speak. “ATTEN-TION.”

The guards, almost as one, jerked into place. Not all of them were so quick, and several seemed confused at the actions of the rest. Mostly those who had been pressed into service towards the end of Sombra’s reign; they tended to be younger, but still, they were here, emotions just as tainted as the rest of them.

“Some of you may have heard rumors of cursed armor. I am here to inform you that said rumors… are true!” A few gasped. The miasma of dread turned sickly. “Every single one of you is likely affected. It has made you… less than you were. Worse. But that is not your fault. Some of you accepted this armor for fear, for yourselves or others. Some of you wore it in hopes of softening a blow that had yet to be struck. And still others of you were forced into it, against your will, as you were pressed into the service of a tyrant. And as I have said, none of that is your fault. But it does not change the fact that you are USELESS!”

A hiss from behind me, possibly from both rulers in tandem. I had not… exactly explained my plan here, only the intent. “Idol!”

“You are weak, and you are USELESS TO ME! I will not have controlled ponies in my New Crystal Guard! My Prince does not accept it, and I WILL NOT ALLOW IT! You will be better than that, or you will not be here!” I glared out over the formation. Some had started to weep openly, from shame, fear, or other strong emotion, while others stared on stonily. “Those of you who wish to leave may go. You will leave your armor here. It will be dealt with, and if you can forgive yourself what you have been forced to do, then that is between you and you alone. None will be forced into the armor here. But if you choose to stay, you will be tested.”

“I served Princess Mi Amore herself! Why should I be tested?!”

“BECAUSE YOU FAILED HER!” I roared, infusing the words with fury enough to quell their rising emotions. I felt Shining jolt backwards slightly behind me, and I suspected this was another thing he was not aware I could do. “YOU WILL NOT FAIL MY PRINCE! YOU WILL NOT FAIL MY PRINCESS! And I do not care why you failed! The past is past, and this is a fresh start. The New Crystal Guard will not be free of the stigma of what Sombra made of it. I cannot promise you that. We could discharge every one of you and demand a hundred fresh faces to replace the lot of you, and that shame would still linger on every piece of crystal armor, fresh forged or be it a thousand years old!”

I took a deep breath, releasing the fury. “But it need not linger forever. You can be better. With the help of your new Prince and Princess, we will redeem the Guard, and we will redeem ourselves. I have seen it in the faces of the citizens of the empire. They shy away from armor, not just Sombra’s but our own. We will fix that. We will restore the trust we have rightfully lost, and make them feel safe again! We will find ways to protect and defend our people, and we will not allow another Sombra!”

Muted, almost restless stomping as a few began to see the light, but I was not done. “...And we start today. Today, you have a singular goal. One that may not even be completed on this day, for it will be harder for some of you than others. Perhaps even impossible. But while the redemption of the Crystal Guard is a task for us all, this is one that must be undertaken individually. It will have repercussions. It may cause suffering. I do not think there is even a chance it will be painless, and I presume it will be traumatic. Every one of you has a helmet before you. It is yours, and each of you knows it, more than you may want to know or dare to admit. It is enchanted with Sombra’s own fell magic, and from where it came I dare not guess. It is your guilt, and your shame. Your sole duty, until you accomplish it, is the destruction of this accursed headpiece! You, and you alone, are responsible for it! Until the deed is done, you do not serve in the New Crystal Guard! This is a duty that I confess I have stolen from one of you. I will not claim that I should have given him this chance. I did not know the depth of what it meant until it was too late. But the rest of you… the rest of you will prove yourselves. Or you will not, and we part ways.”

“You may take the helmets with you, or leave them on the spot and return when you are ready. The rest remain. But regardless of whether you can or cannot destroy it, you will return, one week hence, and the deed will be completed. Those who can manage it now may return to service immediately. There will be no reward or punishment for doing so early, save that you may serve again as soon as you wish, and regain the honor that was stolen from you. Until then, you are all dismissed from service.”

Shining Armor stepped up to the balcony, and said the single word that changed the Crystal Guard forever. He did not say it boldly, for he knew that there would be a cost, but he recognized it had to be paid all the same. Truthfully, he may not have had to take responsibility for it at all, but he was, after all, my Prince, and he was worthy of the title. The word was hoarse, almost strained, but he said it regardless, in a voice everyone could hear. “Begin.”

Author's Note

Hey folks, figured y'all were due for more!

If you want to drop a buck in the hat

To join the discord and get art, some various other stuff, and just generally hang out with a lot of really fun people.

As always, comments are an author's food pellets, leave 'em if you've got 'em!

Special thanks to KarmaSentinel and BHS for prereading. If you like magical girls, give BHS a look, and for some non-canon Idol, say hi to Karma!