My Baby Sister

On the ninth morning, she stared into the mirror, wondering what the name was of the pony she saw. Hair the color of straw, eyes the color of grass, those were the things that stood out to her.

Each morning she pretended to bathe, pretended to wash. Her eyes went to the empty bucket she so half-heartedly had thrown over her head. Spike got the water from outside, from the river that ran through the town.

The water held no reflection of her, but the mirror did. She’d found it covered up, but since Twilight didn’t seem to ever step away from her work, Applejack had taken the liberty of removing the cover.

Coat of orange, blackened veins, those were the things she noticed. Patches of rotten skin that began to show signs of growing despite the cremes, despite the medicines Spike gave her.

She looked at those patches were her coat’d fallen off and even touched them. Some fur stuck to her hooves and she felt a smile growing on her face.

Now that nopony else was here it was easier to admit. She needn’t pretend, she could allow herself to feel it. There was pain and she wanted nothing more than to die.

Soon, she thought, leaning over the sink and against the mirror.

How old was the pony she was looking at?

Too young to die.

She closed her eyes, felt every muscle burn, every fiber strain, every bone crack. Soon, she thought again and thought of her mother smiling at a filly she held in her arms. A filly who had her eyes.

If only Apple Bloom was dead.

Applejack took a deep breath and shook her head, turned away from the mirror. Her mane was drenched, she was cold, but it didn’t matter. She needed to start into the day, needed to be there for everypony. Especially for Apple Bloom.

Every time her left hoof hit the ground, a jolt of pain ran through her. Every time she moved her tongue, the inside of her mouth felt like it burned up. Every time she blinked, her head began to sting.

She needed to ignore it, needed to be there for Apple Bloom. Right now, she couldn’t afford to give up, couldn’t afford to give in, she was a big sister after all. Applejack had to be a role model.

Opening the door to the bathroom she went to the main room and found the clock showing her that it was 5:00 in the morning. She hadn’t slept well and her own bed was soaked once more. At least not with more blood.

She walked into the kitchen, where a candle burned and Spike sat over a mug of hot water, chewing on stones and pretending they were gems.

“Hey, AJ,” he muttered, half asleep. “You had a good night?”

She shook her head. She’d told enough lies before they’d gotten here and didn’t want to go back to that. As long as Apple Bloom was out of sight, she could be honest.

“How long did you sleep, then?”

“A few hours,” she said. “Didn’t wake up even though I had to go.”

He sighed. “I told you, it’s–”

“I know,” she threw in, sitting down by the table and letting her head fall onto it.

It hit with a bang, startling him. She didn’t care, the pain was different, it felt good, almost like it freed her.

“I promised Apple Bloom to help her potty train, instead my own star chart ain’t got no golden stars no more.”

“You don’t have a star chart,” he answered, dry as ever.

She rolled her eyes. “Well if I had one, I’d look almost as bad as Apple Bloom. Meanwhile, Twilight doesn’t have any problems.”

He used the chance to look to the window and take a sip, possibly agreeing with her that it was enviable. Twilight was handling everything so well, even now that Applejack seemed to grow inept.

“When Rainbow Dash gets here, she’s gonna laugh at me,” Applejack said with a frown.

She didn’t want any guests. Apple Bloom needed the quiet. The moment she’d found out that her cactus was still there she’d immediately hugged it and now she slept with it every night. Toys would keep her busy and Applejack would feel far more comfortable if she could play more games with her sister, too.

“You make her sound like some sort of bully,” Spike said, pausing for a second. “Oh, right, we're talking about Rainbow Dash.”

Applejack harrumphed. “What should I do?”

There was a quiet moment and then Spike, biting his lip, began to say some quiet words. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

“Why?”

He paused, looked at the window, clearly tried to pretend it wasn’t covered up. It was and he was just looking at a bedsheet that hadn’t been cleaned for months. Applejack knew that and she also knew that it was rude for him to not look at her.

“When we get Rainbow Dash everything’ll be ready,” he said, his voice barely a whisper.

“What will be?”

“Well, she’ll help you fix your bedwetting problem, she’ll help fix Apple Bloom’s condition, she’ll help Ponyville grow more lively again.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “That sounds like a lot of work, though. She’s not the type of pony to do a lot of work.”

In the silence that followed, Applejack looked at the pictures on the wall. There were photos of Twilight’s first surprise party. In every picture, she stared at the camera in utter shock. Then there were pictures of her with their friends.

There was Fluttershy, tending to her animals, with Twilight holding an angry Angel Bunny in her hooves, clawing at the menace that dared to hug him. The yellow pegasus smiled at Twilight knowingly and already had a first-aid kit ready.

There was Pinkie Pie, who held the camera up as she tried to strike a pose with Twilight. Applejack remembered that photo. It was taken after a pie eating contest and considering how bad Twilight looked, it was just after she’d made third place. Pinkie looked chipper as always, being happy that she made eighth.

There was a photo of Rarity, with her and the new princess of friendship trying out some dresses fit for royalty. Rarity looked far more comfortable with hers than Twilight did, however, but there was an air of comfort around the two. It almost made Applejack smile.

There was a picture of an orange earth pony with a cowboy hat. A father had given it to his son and the son then to his sister. Now it lay down in the well, burnt and wet and forever out of reach.

There was a picture of Twilight attending a book convention of sorts, with Rainbow Dash hiding behind her. While the then-unicorn just held a lot of books, the pegasus was wearing a Daring Do costume. She hid tried to pull the helmet down, but at the same time smiled at the camera.

It was an unusual shyness for the brazen pegasus, the self-declared “best flier in all of Equestria” and the blush patches on her cheeks only emphasized the unusuality of the picture.

“No matter the cost,” mumbled Spike and sipped his water.

Applejack didn’t understand, she only wanted to make sure Apple Bloom was fine.

They stayed together in the kitchen and then Applejack decided to make some breakfast for Twilight, while Spike took her of her sheets. She wasn’t quite sure if it was a fair deal, but then again, she needed to be mature about this. Not that she was sure how a mature person would react to somepony else washing the sheets they ruined. It seemed kind of contradictory, actually.

Yet she brewed some water and stomped some beans into powder. Not many were left of those, either. Spike went into the town nearly every day and while he still seemed to get some usable things out of his trips, they weren’t yielding as much food as they did before Applejack and Apple Bloom had arrived.

Winter was coming and the last harvest had probably gone bad. After all, she and Apple Bloom had left the acres in bad shape. It was likely not only the apple business had a bad year.

This was going to be a tough winter, either way.

Or maybe not, a dark voice whispered in the back of her head as she mixed water and powder into a rough brew.

She poured it into a mug and put it on a tablet, together with some oats and bread to help Twilight start into the day.

There were so few chances to get so see Twilight that Applejack relished every opportunity to see her. They were friends, after all. So she took the stairs like she did every day, careful not to show the pain she was in. It wasn’t there, there never was any pain at all.

She went past the curtain and the first thing she spotted was Twilight, lying on the ground, her head resting on a piece of paper she’d scrabbled on. An empty ink pot lay close to her and the feather was still in her hoof.

The hoof that held it was stained with ink and so was Twilight’s face. It was quite obvious that she’d fallen asleep while working, but that was just like her. It was only after she noticed all that that Applejack noticed more things about Twilight, stranger things.

For one, there was the suckling noise she made with her mouth. It was a familiar noise, but not one Applejack associated with her dear friend. The lighting was as bad as always, with only one orb flickering above. Applejack had to step closer to make out where the noise came from.

She’d noticed a pendant of sorts before, hanging from Twilight’s neck, but only now that she saw her asleep, Applejack saw that it wasn’t a pendant at all. A bit of a smile formed on her face, as the plastic object in Twilight’s mouth moved so naturally.

The second strange thing occurred to her then. Twilight wore a diaper. Not like Apple Bloom’s, but a cloth one. There was a slight odor in the air, one of urine. It made Applejack wonder and again the question came, how old was she.

Twilight was close to her age and wore diapers, she herself also couldn’t keep her bed dry. An illness might seem likely but there was no pain, no illness. Applejack bit her lip. Twilight was doing schoolwork, they were both visiting the same school.

Her head hurt a bit, so she knew she needed to stop thinking about it. She knew a bad pain when she felt it, so she decided to put down the tablet she balanced on her back and wake Twilight.

Applejack’s friend’s nose scrunched as she smelled the coffee. It probably smelled bad, but Applejack didn’t know. She told herself that she was too young to evaluate coffee aromas anyway. At least it was a reaction and so she moved closer to Twilight and gave her a slight nudge.

The pony grumbled, but stirred, doing the opposite of what Applejack thought she’d do. She fought the sleep away, fought against her body telling her to lie down and rest and rose up with a grim expression.

One that was ruined by the pacifier in her mouth and the ink that both her cheeks.

“Applejack?” she asked groggily, spitting the pacifier out without a care. “What are you doing here?”

“Bringin’ you coffee,” Applejack said with a smile, looking down. “And I just found out something interesting.”

Twilight looked down and then looked up again. “Is it that interesting?” she asked.

There it was again, the cold distance. There were many ways to interpret the way Twilight looked at Applejack, but she quickly decided that it was the surprise. Twilight clearly cared a lot how other ponies viewed her and she didn’t want to be found out.

“You hid up here cuz you didn’t want Apple Bloom to find out that you’ve got the same problem she does. So that is interesting,” Applejack figured.

Twilight looked at her, her remaining eye scanning the earth pony. “More like the same problem you do,” she stated matter-of-factly.

Applejack was taken aback. How did she know?

Twilight sighed at that reaction. “Spike told you that it comes with the sickness. It’s–”

“But I don’t feel sick,” Applejack said, stomping her left front hoof down.

She winced at the pain, but Twilight made no indication that she’d noticed. Of course she didn’t, there was no pain and therefor nothing to see.

“I see,” she answered and seemed to think for a moment. “Well, it’s still natural.”

Applejack tilted her head. “How so?”

Twilight smiled a knowing smile, that was easy to see. “We’re both fillies who still go to school.”

“But we got our Cutie Marks,” Applejack said, “so we shouldn’t really–”

Applejack put her hoof on Applejack’s mouth. She could taste the ink. “Shush, Applejack,” the alicorn, clearly not noticing that she was painting her friend blue.

“It’s okay, because we’re kids. Some kids grow up faster, some grow up slower. It’s okay if I wear diapers to bed, if Apple Bloom can’t eat her food alone or even if Spike has none of these problems. Alright?”

Applejack gave a shy nod, looking down to the ground. “So we’re kids, fillies?”

“Yeah. Grown mares often don’t go to school anymore,” Twilight answered with a smile. “And don’t have blue lips. How’d you get those?”

Applejack pointed at Twilight’s hoof. She lifted an eyebrow and then stared at the feather she’d left on the ground. After that, she found that she’d left an imprint on both her paper and the floor. Yet all she said was, “Well, I can’t ask Spike to clean that up, too.”

She smiled, then laughed out loud. Applejack followed suit. Twilight actually looked adorable, not at all grown up. That’s why she had to be right, that’s why the mirror had to lie. After all, Applejack had told Apple Bloom the same before and now all she needed to do was take heed. She needed to be as grown up as she could be.

Twilight finally took the cup and took a sip off it, then shook her head. “Wow,” she said.

“Is the coffee that bad?” Applejack asked, grinning at her friend.

“Not the coffee,” Twilight said, waiting another moment before she managed to finish. “It’s been some time since I could laugh. Feels kind of like my muscles forgot how to even move.”

“Yeah, well, it’s always good to have friends around, right?”

The alicorn nodded and then sat down on her behind. Applejack looked at it. “You’re not going to take it off?”

She shook her head. “Naah, I’ll take it off when I need to go to the toilet, until then I’ll just be a bit lazy, for once.”

With that her horn lit up and she looked up, forming more glowing orbs to float around. For a moment, Applejack could swear she had the strangest smile. The blue cheeks probably would’ve looked comedic under any other circumstances, but for one brief moment the lighting made Twilight look downright menacing.

Then the room looked a bit more welcoming, a bit brighter. Twilight looked at her friend. “Didn’t think I’d be this comfortable just by having a good friend around.”

She certainly looked comfortable, the way she sat there and smiled at Applejack. It seemed almost too good to be true. They’d spent weeks apart, maybe longer. It’d been summer and now winter was arriving and she hadn’t seen Twilight or anypony else since then.

“Twi,” she said, quietly, “How’re the others.”

Twilight shrugged. “Fluttershy’s probably with her animal friends, Pinkie went down to her family, so I assume she’s currently fast asleep. Rainbow Dash, well, we’ll see her again soon.”

A moment of quiet.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “What about Rarity?”

There was a flicker in Twilight’s expression. For a brief moment there was an expression in her eyes, but Applejack couldn’t see it. She couldn’t, because she was young and foolish and didn’t know these emotions. Everything was fine, everything was going to be fine.

The quiet lasted too long for her taste, however. “Twilight?”

The other filly giggled. “Sorry, I just. … I just thought about when I last met her. It’s been a while and she’s … She’s drowning in work. It’s, uhm, quite stressful for her. But she allowed us to use the boutique for my project, so that’s nice.”

Applejack nodded. “That’s nice. You’d think she wouldn’t like somepony else messing with her room though.”

“Yeah, I had a hard time negotiating, but Spike got through that thick … I mean, he got through to her. He really did.”

Her smile faded a bit.

Another silent moment.

“Applejack?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah?”

“If the world broke, would you do everything you could to save everypony you knew?”

Applejack tilted her head at the question. “Why’re you askin’ that?”

“Just,” she bit her lip. “It’s just a thought I’ve been having lately.”

She turned her head to the blanket. “Sometimes I wake up in a dark room with nopony there. It’s smelly, I’m lonely and I don’t want to move anymore. I feel like when I look outside all I see is a tear going through the sky, erupting from Canterlot. I feel like nopony else is there who can do something but me. Like that’s why I became an alicorn. To save everypony.”

Applejack looked at her. The tall alicorn, the brave princess. A filly wearing an eyepatch and her binky around her neck. Like Apple Bloom. Like I.

“Yeah,” she answered and tried to smile bravely. “I would try to do everything. I’d save Apple Bloom and you and Spike.”

“No matter the cost?” Twilight asked.

“No matter the cost,” Applejack answered.

And then Twilight went for a hug. She threw her arms around Applejack and her warm breath went down the back of Applejack’s neck. It happened so quick, the earth pony didn’t even know how to react. So she just let it happen and felt Twilight’s heartbeat, so slow and distant.

“Applejack?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to fix everything and then we’ll all go on a picnic together. I’ll bring salad, you some Apple Pie. Apple Bloom can come, too. We’ll talk about what we do during the next summer vacation, what we’ll do when we grow up. Alright? We’ll be together. We’ll be fine. No matter the cost.”

Only now did Applejack notice how the orbs light glimmered against the dark in six colors. A small rainbow amidst the blackness, a small light against the nothingness. Twilight felt cold and she did, too. So she closed her arms around her friend and just let herself be warm for a bit.

She felt the diaper, she felt the binky and she felt safe, too.

“How about we do it when I’ve got Apple Bloom on the potty? As a reward of sorts?” she asked.

“That sounds good,” Twilight answered.

And that was that. That was how the day before they’d make their attempt to save the world started. Applejack was blissfully unaware of it, though, and instead figured that she soon needed to check up on Apple Bloom again. The little rascal was likely to not have made it through the night clean.