My Baby Sister

The clouds split as the light burst forth from the heart of a small town. Applejack’s eyes turned upwards as Twilight’s hooves met one more time and she saw the sky above and the Tear that broke the world.

Its color was a red so deep and unnatural, it was a tone Applejack was sure her eyes shouldn’t be able to see. It lit up in a pulsing motion and the light ran through the cracks in the sky. Around the Tear it looked like broken glass. Shards of stars and sunlight lay between empty patches of a sky that would never be again. She’d always been too scared to look at it, but now she didn’t understand why.

As the shards glittered with the luminescence of an amaranthine cycle, Applejack thought of the days that had gone past, the stories she witnessed here and there and how utterly pointless they all seemed. They were delusions, soon to be pulverized by the blaze within her. The circle around her lit up with unholy magic, the clap of hooves echoed in her ears and she felt it burn in her heart.

The hunger was coming to her and with a beating rhythm, the heart of the Tear began to sing to her. She heard the melody and the voice in the distant. It was familiar, so very familiar, but she didn’t dare to remember why.

If you remember, you will lose Apple Bloom, she thought and closed her eyes.

The incandescent blaze swallowed her without giving her another second to think and for one part of it, she felt the heat against her skin. It turned her coat to ash and made all other pain fade away. She felt an agony, a hurting, but it was only for one split part of a long second.

Legs without pain, jaw so still, heartbeat steady. For the second part of the first second, Applejack felt overcome with bliss. She realised it as the flames ate her; this was the very thing she’d wished for.

Just one more second and there would be nothing to run from anymore. She’d hurt her friends, betrayed her family, lied to her sister and abandoned the few things everypony had left behind. Applejack knew that, she knew that this was fated to be. There was no more reason to stay. None at all.

She could die now.

If you think like that, you will lose Apple Bloom, she thought as the distant melody closed in.

The torn sky was out of sight now. With her eyes closed it was dark, as if clouds obscured the sun and eclipsed every remnant of every star. Not a single ray managed to pierce them. Yet it burned.

The heat of a vengeful spell, the scorching flames charring her flesh and bones, that was all that remained to her within the darkness.

Even though she couldn’t make out anything anymore, her ears betrayed her at the very end and she could hear the song grow louder and louder. Was this what everypony heard as they went to sleep? Was this the very sound that beckoned them to accept the fire?

If so, then Applejack would accept it as well. Yes, she thought as she let the heat take all the pain from her. This is it.

Seconds before the fire she hadn’t comprehended what was happening, somepony had screamed, somepony else had laughed and talked and now all things were ablaze. Whatever else had happened, whatever else had seemed important was gone now.

This was really it, there was no reason to linger.

Accepting her fate, Applejack opened her eyes to a silhouette standing against the light of a new sun. Even though the filly couldn’t make out to whom it belonged, she understood well enough that somepony was there, watching out for her, even after all this time.

“Mom?” she asked.

And then she saw two arms extending, as if to hug the filly, the foal, the brave daughter who’d held out for so many years. For a moment, she wanted it to be true, for a moment she wanted someone to come for her, to end it, this old blues of hers.

It was that very moment, where she lay there, when she thought of Apple Bloom again. The filly was still by her side, even though she was probably hurting. Yet, when Applejack tried to listen, there only was the sky’s song. The world was on fire and she felt herself no more. Every sense had left her body and all that remained was the glaring light she saw and the song that beckoned her to look up.

Yet she couldn’t, not if she’d honestly promised to protect Apple Bloom. For a moment she opened her mouth and her tongue hit the dry back of her melting teeth. She wanted to call out, to make sure Apple Bloom was still there, but she couldn’t say anything anymore.

Every sight was the light, every taste was the ash, every smell was the fire, every feeling was the hunger and every sound was the song. Nothing else remained, she realized, nothing but one tiny thing atop an old hill with a rotten apple tree.

“What’s her name?” Somepony in the depth of her mind asked somepony else.

“Should we go with one more Apple name? That’d make your granny proud,” the stallion said, grinning as if he’d just told a great joke.

“How about something floral, dear. You always wanted one of your children to have a flowery name,” the mare answered mimicking his smile.

How about Apple Bloom, a filly said in a hallucination, her smile wide as she looked as the yellow little thing with the deep red hair. The words left her mouth and her mother agreed as she drew her last breath.

It wasn’t how it had happened, Applejack knew, but that didn’t matter. She had given the filly the name, had spent every day of her life with her, had protected her from everything she could.

A voice sang to her, words started to form from the gibberish, but Applejack decided not to listen to them. She had something else to care about.

Her legs moved on their own.

“Don’t,” someone said.

It didn’t matter, not really. She rose, even though there was only light. She rose, even though she only felt a hunger remain. Fire, ashes, chains that dug into her, all those things she perceived on the farthest edges of herself. Yet there was nothing that could possibly stop her.

“Apple,” she said. “Bloom.”

“Don’t,” someone said, trying to discourage her.

But some other voice, in the back of her head told her that there was more.

“Don’t,” someone said.

Give up.

And she moved from her place, screeching with a fury she did not feel to be her own. But to whom it belonged, she couldn’t tell. Her body, however, didn’t stop, instead it tried to step forward, even as the flames took her left leg.

She didn’t feel a thing, because there was only hunger. Applejack needed to look for her sister, for the little foal was helpless without her. Apple Bloom needed someone to protect her and Applejack needed to feed.

She knew she’d probably fallen, but she couldn’t really tell anymore. Where was she? Applejack tried to remember, thinking of Twilight’s library, but it didn’t help. Someone was screaming, using her voice, for help, for food, for someone to take them home. It wasn’t her, though. Applejack knew that because she didn’t say anything, because there was only light left and she was nowhere.

Wanting to look around, the filly tried to turn her head, but it did not budge anymore. Wanting to say something, she wanted to use her mouth, but somepony else was screaming already.

The filly didn’t know what was going on. The library? Apple Bloom? Why was this happening? Where was Granny? Where was Big Macintosh? Braeburn? Where were her mother and father gone?

She tried to remember, tried to close her eyes, but she remained in the scorching light. Her eyes hurt, but she couldn’t close them. Not just that, as the seconds passed she felt the fire grow within her more and more, rising higher and higher. Her mouth didn’t move to scream in pain, her legs didn’t move to escape.

The light remained.

Applejack struggled against the nothingness. Voices, sounds, smells, tastes, she fought with herself to remember, to make herself gain control over what she was sensing. It was a battle she lost and all she could do was want to scream.

And then, as cold water hit her head, she screamed, loud and girly.

“Whoa,” she heard someone’s voice and quickly turned around.

The sky was whole above her, the sun was shining with a warm light. In the distance, she heard birds singing, felt her body drenched with cool water. She smelled herself. She looked at the body that stood before her, a familiar earth pony with exemplary sideburns and a wicked, playful smile.

“Don’t move too much around kiddo, I want to finish this is as quickly as you want to.”

His voice, she heard it like it was there, even though that was impossible. He was nothing but a memory, nothing but a fleeting dream that haunted what she thought to be her worst nights. This was a pony long gone, a pony that couldn’t and wasn’t real. Applejack felt her lip quivering, felt her heart swell. Sight got blurry, legs got weak, she almost jumped at him, almost got to wrap her tiny, lanky arms around him.

Before she could do that, she felt a sponge rubbing her head, messing up her mane before it went down her neck, with him grumbling as he bent to clean the back of his daughter. This time, though, her arms reached around his neck.

The sweet scent of apple cider reached her nose, and his coat brushed against her nose and then cheek. She felt her chest press against his and their heartbeats synching up for a melody only she cared to hear. His mane, the color of sand, so much like her own, but so much softer and thinner; she could see it and feel it.

“Woah nelly,” he said, his voice as gravelly and subdued as she remembered. “What’re you doing? It was literally just a pile of dung, not a black hole or gateway to Tartarus.”

She remembered having been kicked into a pile behind the barn by Filthy when they were playing together for the first time. She’d hated him until well after she’d gotten her Cutie Mark, had hated him until her old family home collapsed and he jumped in and paid for repairs and renovation. She had hated him until then, when he brought all the Apples together for the first time in a long time, all in memory of the two most important members.

That was a future she wasn’t even sure of at this very moment, because her papa was here now, cleaning her, caring for her. As she caught a glimpse at his green eyes, she thought of rich grasslands and not rotting evergreens. The smell was fine, not gruesome, and his smile was as honest as it could be.

Nopony else was here, nopony could ever take this from her. She’d gotten what she wanted.

And what is that? the wind whispered.

She looked around, but found nothing but herself and her papa. No wind, no trees, no friends and no family members. Only her and all she ever wanted.

Is there really no pain? the wind whispered.

“Dad?” she heard herself asking, hoping for him to answer, hoping for this not to be dream.

“Yeah, kiddo?” he answered, using the word she remembered him for so dearly.

“We’re back together, right?”

He hugged her with one arm, the one that held the sponge, and used the chance to continue scrubbing her. “Falling into a dung pile isn’t going to make me leave you ... Well, I mean, I kind of want to, but you'd only stink up the house I sleep in. It's not a situation where I win either way.”

She wanted to tell him that his wife was gone, that he’d been with her until the end and even till the ever after. His corpse had hung from a rope and nopony had smiled at his funeral.

Is this what you wanted from the start? the wind whispered.

The sun was growing brighter, so the filly closed her eyes and ignored the breeze. She felt the dirt falling off of her, felt the sponge and the water. She smelled the cider and the soap. This was where she was. This was where she belonged.

“No more,” a voice broke through.

With a gust of wind, Applejack felt herself stumbling forward. The water vanished and so did the feeling, the scent, everything. She took a step and then another, only to open her eyes and find that she was not where she’d been before.

Above her was a moonless sky and around her was a field of crystalline trees. It seemed a field of endless beauty, reflecting the light of the stars in a dance of colors. Yet as her gaze met with the spectacle, the branches cracked and creaked, before their leaves started to turn to dust and then they, too. As her head turned the world around her vanished into a glittering wasteland filled with nothing.

She dared to turn and the destruction followed her eyes. She turned and turned until nothing was left but falling dust.

“Papa?” she asked, scared, turning round again.

She found him not, but tried again only to catch a glimpse of something in her spin. For a moment, she wondered what it was, because it was too large for a pony and its form hardly resembled one, either. So she turned towards it, this thing that watched her cause havoc upon the world.

The filly turned around only to find a single, cyan eye staring back at her, one that was filled with the wisdom of centuries and the pain of many more still. Dully it gazed at the small creature before it as the stars up in the sky started to fall to pieces.

“Princess Luna?” Applejack asked, her mouth wide open.

The left side of the princess’ head was caved in. Her mane, once a sea of stars, was now an ashen cloud, dead and fading away ever so slowly. The left shoulder, upper thigh and a huge chunk of the body looked like somebody had taken a bite out of them. Yet there was no blood, only a cloud of dust that erupted from her.

Applejack clenched her teeth, fury rose within her. “Where’s papa? He’s supposed to take care of me. He said he wouldn’t leave me!”

“Is it him you want?” the princess said, her voice hollow and barely rising above a whisper.

Tears fell from Applejack’s eyes. She couldn’t believe that the princess would dare to ask her that. This was her father, the one she’d wanted to be with for so long. Of course she wanted nothing more than him.

“What about your sister?” Luna asked. “She never gave up on you.”

Applejack stomped her tiny hooves on the ground. “I don’t care. I want my parents!”

Ashes touched the filly’s nose, the smell of decay mixing with every other scent she smelled.

“Applejack, there’s little time left. You need to–”

“Shut up!” Applejack said, salt and snot mixing in with the other tastes. “I don’t care what I need to do. I want it to end! I want to go! I want to have somepony be there for me, care for me. I don’t want to be in pain anymore! I don’t want to fight anymore!”

The princess looked at her, small pieces of her phantasmal body falling into the air and shattering into a cloud.

“You don’t want to fight anymore? Is that why you hid away in the cider house?”

“I wanted us to be happy!” Applejack screamed at the top of her lung. “I never got the chance to have somepony be always there for me! I never had the opportunity to have somepony hug me whenever I needed it, to play with me when I wanted to, to care for me when I couldn’t do it myself.”

The princess’ eye turned to the sky after a few seconds, but it only moved ever so slowly. Applejack followed her every move and then looked at the emptiness above, too. There was nothing to describe there, nothing to see.

The sound of Princess’ Luna’s breaths mixed in with every other sound she heard.

“Nopony ever will take care of me that way,” Applejack said.

A pale light appeared in the distance. It was all she saw.

“You would have rather if somepony else had gone out into town, had witnessed all the decay and then walked back to you and told you all was fine?”

She didn’t know if Princess Luna looked at her, but she nodded.

“Now, with everything you’ve seen. You are well aware that Twilight used her magic to betray you, aren’t you?”

Maybe it was the truth, maybe a part of her did know, maybe even well before it happened. She knew Twilight, knew how she acted, when she put up a front, lied. They were friends, after all. However, Applejack did choose to ignore all the hints, why she didn’t know.

No, she did.

“If I did anything, it would just go on. I don’t want that anymore. I can’t make Apple Bloom be what I can’t. She hates me, I know it.” A soft giggle escaped Applejack. “I’m the worst sister you could ask for.”

Luna sighed. “She wants the same thing you do.”

“And what is that?”

“For you to be safe.”

Applejack looked down, her eyes meeting the remnant of the princess’. By now, a huge part of Luna was gone. In the ghostly wind that blew across this dreamlike plane, most of her was already dead, Applejack knew.

She felt a sadness come onto herself.

“Why would she care about me after everything I’ve put her through?” she asked in disbelief.

“Because that’s what siblings do, they tend to care for you far beyond what is expected to be reasonable. Hatred finds fertility only hardly amidst kin, that is what I found out over the course of my life. I would love to tell you that you don’t need to push yourself, but you must. What Twilight wants to do will doom the world forever. Stop her, find the one who’s responsible for the Tear, she’s the only one who can–”

Applejack blinked in that last moment, and as she opened her eyes, the dreamworld cracked and Princess Luna was gone. The filly was on her own with everypony gone now.

The light in the distance grew brighter, ever so slowly and she could feel how the senses were leaving her again. Yet, Applejack looked down. Her coat was orange, the mark she bore was one of apples as red as her sister’s mane.

Little Apple Bloom who’d slowly leant in to her before Applejack jumped up and pushed her down on the sheets. The older sister remembered that she brought down her muzzle on the little one’s tummy, blowing a loud raspberry on it.

A song was calling out to her, there in the distance. Applejack knew it well as the thought of an apple tree and all the things she’d seen below it. Maybe she could push herself up one more time, just to see if it was worth it, just to be there for her sister again. To see her smile again.

The light grew brighter and Applejack let it happen. She allowed the flame to consume her, because she needed to go beyond it to reach Apple Bloom. All things faded from her control and the light became all she saw.

All she smelled was ashes, all she heard was fire and all she felt was the scorching hunger within her.

And that’s when she heard the song in all its glory, angelic voices filled the air, while the air smelled of ember and kindling. It all beckoned for her to look, to gaze at the heart of the sky.

So Applejack looked to from hence the voice came.

“Don’t,” a young dragon screamed.

Applejack opened her eyes and the light was gone.

Applejack didn’t know what she was feeling, her body lay spread over Apple Bloom’s, who stared at her with one remaining eye. The flames had ruined half her face and her expression was fearful. Applejack didn’t care how her baby sister looked, she was alive.

Applejack smiled. “We’re both alive,” she said.

She tried to move her left arm, but her muscles didn’t respond, which surprised her for a moment, until she turned to look at it. The end of her shoulder was black as coal, but no arm remained.

“Kind of,” she added with a slight giggle.

The mare didn’t understand what had happened, but it didn’t really matter if at least they were alive.

“Twilight,” she heard a voice behind them. It belonged to Spike, she knew, but why it was there, she couldn’t tell.

Also, it was dark all around them. Applejack’s eyes lifted themselves off her own wounded body and looked towards where the sky should have been. All she saw, however, was a sea of stars dipped in red smoke with a black void reaching out eternally beyond them.

If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that this wasn’t Ponyville.

“Don’t worry,” she heard herself say. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

It didn’t matter whether she said it to Apple Bloom or herself. Ultimately, she was the one who needed to believe it. With that sentiment, she used her three remaining legs to stand up. Ashes fell to the ground as she rose.

Legs hurt, bones ached, she could hardly see anything. It didn’t matter, however. Nothing mattered, but to see what had happened to Twilight. If she was responsible for this, she could undo it.

Applejack slowly turned around. As she did, the wind picked up and ashes soared up all around her. They felt warm to the touch, close to the embrace of a familiar figure. She figured why, but chose to ignore it.

After all, Twilight could still help and all she wanted was to save everypony. She was a good pony at heart and was filled with regret. Applejack understood that, because she was Twilight’s friend.

As she put her hoof down she looked at an eternal starfield, with a tear in the distance, like a crack in a window. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Yet it caught her attention for only a moment, then she looked down and found Spike standing there. A bag hung from his shoulder and blood dripped down from his head.

It was like he, Applejack and Apple Bloom stood on solid ground despite there being none.

“Spike?” Applejack asked, her voice hoarse.

He twitched and then turned around, looked at her with a shocked expression. “AJ? What?” He enunciated, clearly not understanding what he was looking at. “But you’re dead!”

“I’m not dead, silly,” Applejack laughed and then coughed, nearly losing her balance in the process. She managed to regain some poise quickly and then looked around. “Where’s Twi?”

And then she saw her. The alicorn was up above, wings spread out and looking down on them. Every part of her was shaking, Applejack could tell and there was something about her that was just. … Applejack couldn’t describe it, but it felt wrong.

“What happened?” Applejack asked.

“You should duck to the ground,” Spike answered, gulping before he, too, turned towards Twilight.

“Why?” Applejack asked.

Suddenly, Twilight’s arms lifted themselves up and the wind rose with them. Dust and ash drifted towards the alicorn, started to spin into a mad cascade that grew stronger and stronger by the second.

“I don’t think we have time for questions,” Spike said, gritting his teeth and putting a claw in the bag. “Get down!”

As he shouted, the cascade formed itself into a larger alicorn, one that resembled Twilight and at the same time didn’t. There was something off about it, though Applejack couldn’t quite tell why that was. It simply felt like this thing did not belong with everything she sensed.

She had only a moment to wonder, because then the ashen whirlwind changed into a monstrosity, a shape of countless arms and blades and maws and teeth, screeching and screaming, howling and whining.

“Monsters!” it screamed. “Bring back my home!”