My Baby Sister

She remembered crying a lot during the first days, especially when somepony knocked on the door. By this point, she didn't really remember why. Maybe she hadn't wanted guests, because Apple Bloom had looked worse then than now. There might've been other reasons, sure, but every time she had taken the ladder down and somepony had knocked, it had felt like somepony was smashing a hammer against her ear.

Whenever the sun rose, guests came, and whenever she went down the ladder, there came the knocking. They were howling and neighing, and she remained quiet whenever she heard them. Apple Bloom would hug her and suckle her paci, try not to make a sound. It was like a game, like whoever could stay quiet longer would win.

Somehow though, she still remembered herself breaking down and crying, and every time she took the steps she hoped no knock would come. Yet it seemed that every day somepony would come to the door and slam their hoof against it, and the force generated the sound Applejack hated the most.

Even today it happened. Like a fierce roar erupting from the end of the hallway, the screams of a wild beast outside, and the hammering. There were no words spoken, and even today, on this special occasion, the two remained quiet. Apple Bloom clung to her and Applejack gently patted her bottom. „Don't worry,“ she told her little sister as quietly as she could, kissing her on her cheek.

Yet the knocking remained for what Applejack thought an eternity and she remained with Apple Bloom for what appeared to be an eternity. In the end, however, the knocking faded away and whoever had wanted to enter lost interest. Applejack smiled then, because their kingdom remained unconquered.

She wondered how long she could avoid guests of any kind, but a part of her, the part that dreaded them coming, hoped it would be for a long time, at least until she had gotten Apple Bloom potty trained.

Back then, there had been days where their father hadn’t left the cider house for days. Applejack remembered her mother saying that he was a pony who needed his alone time, and he had made the cider house his kingdom for that very reason.

She had only seen the inside of it once they both had left, and she had spent many nights alone, away from her family, much like her father. Not because she enjoyed the loneliness, but because it helped her keep the memory close. And, in retrospective, it had helped her finding her way once she had gotten Apple Bloom here.

The lower part of the cider house was bigger than the first glance might indicate.

The ladder led to a room with many barrels, the main cellar. On the northern end was a door to the second largest room, a small living room with pictures of the Apple Family decorating the walls, and old couches with colorful, tacky designs. To the west was a door to the kitchen, which had another door leading to the storage.

The main cellar also had another wall in its middle, or rather a curtain where their father had wanted to place a wall. Behind it was the bathroom with a bathtub and buckets to fill it. At the southern wall, the real one, there was a door.

Applejack had first seen it as an empty room beneath the hill the cider house stood on, but after they had come here she had carefully arranged some furniture in it. Apple Bloom hadn’t seen it yet, but now she seemed so proud of her achievement that Applejack thought it the perfect reward.

Though breakfast had been simple, and Apple Bloom had eaten quick–mayhaps for fear of another surge of pain in her jaw–once they finished, Applejack felt fairly excited. This day would be great.

By the time she was done, Apple Bloom's face showed a magnificent milk beard accentuated with bread crumbs, and the chocolate Applejack had bought a week before was now adorning the nose and left cheek of the filly. Not only that, but considering how it looked now, Applejack was also quite happy that Apple Bloom had stopped fussing about the bib.

Who knew, maybe it was just because it was the pink one with the ruffles. Ruffles always meant a special occasion, and on a special occasion one was best on their best behavior. Apple Bloom knew that, and though she had still grown a bit red when she had the bib put on, there wasn't any fighting.

„Thanks for the food,“ she said, looking at Applejack.

She smiled at Apple Bloom and took out a napkin, moving it closer to Apple Bloom. The filly's fighting spirit showed, if only for a second, as she turned away from it. For some reason, she immediately turned her head straight however, but maybe because she wanted to get this over quickly. Easily noted was the look she gave Applejack. Only this once, she could read from the frown and everything below.

Usually, Apple Bloom ate only moderate amounts, but in her happiness she had sated her hunger for once. Applejack knew that if she could get Apple Bloom to keep it up she would need to go out for food more often. Apple Bloom would grow properly despite the circumstances, so that was a sacrifice worth taking. She herself also tried to eat properly for once, though the aching of her wounds made it hard.

„Alright,“ she said once they were both done and the bib had been taken off. „Considerin' how ye're on ya best behaviour an' started on your path to runnin' 'round naked like the day you were born, I've got a present for ya.“

If there was one thing Applejack remembered from her earliest days, it was her aunt giving her the same speech and it had been the one time she hadn't spoken to her with that posh accent she always used to put on. And she must've smiled just like Apple Bloom did now when she'd heard it.

Applejack took the filly's paci and let her put it into her mouth, then picked her up. She saw that the diaper was in a slightly worse state than before, and Apple Bloom blissfully unaware of it. Well, it wasn't unexpected, but Applejack would've loved if the bit of raised morale actually helped her little sister. It didn't, so she'd have to change her again in a few hours. Her little sister would count it as a step backwards, she was sure, but Applejack would support her nonetheless.

I'm everything she has now, she thought as she held the little rascal in her arm and moved out of the kitchen.

The sound of her steps on the floor and the quiet suckling noise her sister made were her companions, and the lanterns along the ceiling were the only source of light. She hated coming down here alone, hated it even now, but with Apple Bloom she had to be brave. Or at least she had to pretend to be. Her sister's chin rested on her shoulder, and despite the weight, despite the wounds on her arms, the feeling made it easier.

Then, they finally reached the room, and Apple Bloom turned around. „Ah've ne'er been in thar before,“ she said around her binky, curious as to what awaited her.

Applejack smiled. „Close your eyes. You're going to love it.“

She didn't see how Apple Bloom closed her eyes, and she didn't check. They had always trusted each other, and she would trust Apple Bloom with anything to the best of her abilities. With that sort of trust, she used her head to push open the door and the lanterns went on, burning with magical light. Just looking at it she could tell that the next moment would be the best of the entire day. It'll be worth it, she told herself, and then I'm going to show her what I got from the town and she'll be happy.

She placed Apple Bloom on a carpet, as careful as possible and looked at her little sister once more. The red mane was unkempt and without her once trademark bow, and she looked haggard, with the diaper and binky making her look smaller, younger than she was. A part of Applejack wanted to be scared, even appalled, when she looked at her, but she wasn't.

She almost wanted to tickle the little cutie again, wanted to pull her into a hug and tell her what a cute foal she was. Instead she simply said; „Ya can open yer eyes now.“

And they glittered like stars as she did so, immediately enamored with the sight, but she tried to mask her excitement quickly. A part of her thought herself too mature for dolls, pick-up sticks and wooden blocks, but another part was happy that there was more to the cider house than the small bed room she usually played in.

Applejack felt herself swelling with happiness, since she had worked on this playroom forever. The walls were covered with an ugly green tapestry and on the ground there was a carpet shaped like Equestria. A giant, green map Apple Bloom sat on, soon pretending that her wooden train rolled down from the Crystal Empire to Canterlot.

There were about four toy boxes, of which only two were filled. One contained broken toys, the third was still empty. It wasn't as much as she had wanted to be here, but with the one in their room it served well enough. Apple Bloom wouldn't get bored, she would always have something to do. A bored filly was a cranky filly, and cranky fillies got stupid ideas about doors that should stay closed. Applejack didn't want to be responsible for a situation that could go off the deep end, or where she had to discipline her sister. She loved her too much to hurt her or see her hurt.

Apart from the boxes, there was also a red sofa, one she had found hidden behind some barrels in the main cellar, a long time ago. It had belonged to her father's father, and he must've kept it for the sentimental value. Applejack had slept on it a while ago, before Apple Bloom had wanted her to stay with her, to protect her from what monsters lurked beneath her bed.

With that sentiment, she decided to not sit on the sofa, since it felt like it was too far away from her sister. She wanted to be close to her, wanted to be with her, where nothing would ever happen. Yet, after she sat down on the floor behind her little sister, she still found herself eyeing the couch, thinking about what their parents would've done in this kind of situation. She knew not why, since she protected Apple Bloom well enough, and no matter how many dirty diapers she had to change, that would never change.

She lost track of the time as she sat there, looking at her sister.

Apple Bloom didn't move around much, and if she did, it seemed that she had trouble staying on her hooves for too long. Still, she soldiered on, getting new toys when needed. First it was just the train, and she only played with it half-heartedly. She became more absorbed as time passed and once she got her blocks to build the cities, she gestured Applejack to join her.

The older sibling built Manehatten, and the younger Canterlot. Applejack looked at the blocks and thought of the Manehatten she had known in her lifetime, with its red bricks and stuck-up ponies. She remembered the smell of the streets, the sound of carriages moving past, and she remembered the face her aunt and uncle had made when they had found her before their home.

„You're meant for great things, every Apple is,“ her uncle had told her that day.

She felt herself shaking, felt frightened all of a sudden, and her hooves were shaking. The sky wasn't in sight, and yet she felt as if she was drowning herself in the sight of it. I need to do something, anything.

She got up, a thrusting feeling erupting from her left front hoof as it hit the ground. She ignored it, turned to Apple Bloom and then started walking. There wasn't much thought involved, as she always did the same thing when she had nothing else to do. The filly had her back towards her, so Applejack decided to move around her. The wounds stung, stabs of pain surged through her legs and she ground her teeth.

Apple Bloom had found some cactus plushie which Applejack had found lying around town. The plant had a wide smile stitched on, with one tooth and the tongue showing, and it had huge, comical eyes. The child had her legs crossed and placed it above. She seemed to think about something, maybe wanted to give it a name. Another companion for her, Applejack thought, like it was another child under her care.

She moved closer. „Apple Bloom?“ The filly didn't seem to react, but Applejack was sure she had her attention. „Could I check whether ya need a change?“

Apple Bloom's brows turned into a frown, but she didn't look up. She wore diapers, but that was about as much as she tolerated. The girl didn't like being checked, didn't like them used, she hated being changed out of an old diaper and absolutely loathed the process of putting on a new one. She'd always fight it, but she couldn't be trusted doing it herself.

When she was asleep it appeared easier, but Applejack had only done that once now, because she didn't like the idea of Apple Bloom waking up and thinking something good when it hadn't happened. Applejack hated lying like that.

Yet, she knew what was coming next.

„I'm dry,“ the girl stated defiantly.

„Ya weren't even dry before breakfast, Apple Bloom,“ Applejack answered with a light smile.

Apple Bloom harrumpfed. „Ah'm dry now.“

Applejack took another step forward, leaned down to her sister's height and raised an eyebrow. „How's that?“

„Because I changed.“

„When?“

„Just now, when ya wasn't looking,“ Apple Bloom stated, still not moving her eyes.

Whenever Apple Bloom had tried to change herself, it had ended disastrously. The few times she'd done it the diapers had leaked on the first use, and the filly had been in a worse mood than before. Yet, Applejack wasn't worried this time.

„Apple Bloom,“ Applejack said firmly, and the filly looked up. „With what? Yer changing supplies are still in the bag.“

For a second the young pony withstood her sister's gaze, but then her eyes turned to the ground beneath her. „Uhm,“ she mumbled, her defiance crumbling.

Applejack walked up to her, trying her best kind smile. „Look, if yer still good, I won't press the issue. If ya need a change, I'll get yer teddy to be here with you. And if ya don't start kickin' me this time, I might even give ya a present.“

Apple Bloom looked at the cactus for a moment, wondering whether her sister was for real. As she looked up, Applejack gave her a sincere look and sure enough, it worked. „Alright, but I'm dry, so ya won't need to change me or anything like that.“

She lifted the cactus into the air and the sight revealed was pretty much what Applejack had expected.

Where green butterflies had been nothing remained but a yellow tinge. Though the diaper had been thick already, it had bulged up by quite a bit more. Applejack couldn't help herself as her face contorted in worry. She still remembered Apple Bloom telling her that she needed to go to the toilet, that was just back when they had started living here. A few wet beds, and then daytime accidents. Today, first a mess, and now she had already soaked her second diaper without noticing it. Applejack hoped more time had gone by than she thought, but she wasn't hungry yet and Apple Bloom seemed to be doing okay too.

„Well, kiddo, looks like somepony is about ready for a change,“ she told her sister, whose proud demeanour fell with the revelation.

„B-but ...“ she stuttered.

A step backwards, Applejack thought, but shook it off. „Don't worry 'bout it, Apple Bloom. The next time I go to Ponyville, I'll go see Twi. She always has a solution for everythin'. And if not, we'll just start potty training ya. Ya'll be a big filly in no time, I promise.“

Her sister looked at her, eyes watery, lip quivering. „You mean it?“ She asked.

„Yer standing before the Element of Honesty, sis. Of course I mean it.“ And yet I already told one lie today.

Apple Bloom hesitated but then nodded, albeit with sullen expression. That was enough for Applejack and she looked at the changing table. It was a makeshift work done with two slabs of wood, some cloth and prayer. Applejack told herself that it was t least going to be better than changing her sister on the floor. However, she hadn't managed to place any of the supplies there yet.

„A'ight, Apple Bloom. I'll go up, get the stuff and then we'll get ya into a dry diaper. Ya'll feel better then,“ she told her younger sister, but made no promise this time. „For now I'll leave ya to play. I won't be long.“

Apple Bloom nodded, hugging the cactus and whispering something to it.

„I promise,“ Applejack told her, kissing her on the forehead again. Whether she wanted to reassure Apple Bloom or herself, however, she did not know.

Apple Bloom tried to lose herself with the toy again, but she was grumpy about the diaper. Applejack understood that, her sister wanted to be a grown-up. For now, however, there wasn't much she could do, neither of them. She left the room quietly, leaving her sister behind to think about the situation.

„Just shout if you need me,“ she said before she left, turning around at the door, „and stay away from sharp objects.“

„I know.“ Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, and Applejack let out a giggle.

Her little lump of sweetness, her cranky baby sister, she was sure a dry diaper and her teddy bear would make it all better. And if not, there was always tickling and raspberries. Children could find happiness in every situation, and Applejack found a smiling Apple Bloom much sweeter than grumply Apple Bloom.

Then she went through the main hall and up the ladder, the typical routine. Wipes, powder, diapers, that sweet little present I wanted to give her, she thought in hopes that she could make Apple Bloom more comfortable with the situation.

They were typical thoughts, and with each step on the ladder, she was more confident that it would work. She spotted the barrel standing before the entrance, unmoved. Not a soul had entered here, and not a soul would dare to. At least that was what she hoped.

She decided to stop for a moment, to step off the ladder and walk towards the barrel, to check whether somepony was outside. Granny Smith an' BigMacintosh are in the house, Scootaloo's still grounded, she thought. Nopony else would come on a day like this, nopony would leave their homes with weather like this.

Then she heard a noise.

Scrape Scrape Scrape

It came from the door and Applejack stopped dead in her tracks. Usually there would be a knocking, nopony ever scraped. Applejack looked at the door with squinted eyes, saw something moving outside, but too quickly, too close to the corner. She leant closer in, wondering what was there. What manner of beast would want to disturb Apple Bloom's play now. She needs a fresh diaper, not guests or friends to visit her.

Then a pegasus' face smashed against the door's window. Teeth tried to sink themselves into the glass, wings flapped wildly, and hooves hammered against the door. Applejack could see her eyes, one still violet but bloodshot, watery and the pupil small, while the other was ablaze with hell's flame. She saw how the teeth were black and grey, pus and blackened blood running down from the flesh and dripping down the window. The pony was hammering her hoof against the window. The once cerulean coat was gone and the skin was a rotten grey with deep cracks and holes running through it, glimmering with a magical fire that seared the insides of the pony.

Applejack took a step backwards but stumbled, fell on her behind. „R-“ she stuttered.

The pony outside started neighing, screaming with a madness Applejack would never have wanted to hear from her.

„Help,“ the pegasus screamed, slobbering with great hunger. „Help me!“

And Applejack felt the water coming to her own eyes, to run down from them, and she felt herself shaking, a sudden coldness coming to her. „Rainbow Dash,“ she said, but closed her mouth and mind immediately.

She's not there.

„You're not there,“ she said aloud, slowly standing up and wiping her mind clean with ease. „I need to get supplies for Apple Bloom.“

She took the steps of the ladder, her brain going quiet.

„Apple–“ she heard somepony outside scream, flapping her wings wildly beneath the broken sky.

It sounded like Rainbow Dash, but she was with the weather team, and she wasn't here. She was up there in a clear sky, pushing clouds around or hanging with Rarity, but she couldn't know about the cider house. This was Apple Bloom's and Applejack's place, their fortress, their paradise. She couldn't know about this place. She couldn't possibly ever know about this place. Nopony could.

„Applejack, I'm hungry,“ somepony yelled, but then the voice was gone. Something was hammering against the door, but Applejack knew not what it was and her parents had told her not to let in strange ponies and not stranger beasts.

As she took the steps she thought of Rainbow Dash, her cerulean coat and the rainbow mane. She thought of a cocky smile, the contests and cider season and them just hanging around Sweet Apple Acres.

I should invite her next week. Maybe Fluttershy could foalsit little Apple Bloom and then the two of us could go to the lake, she thought.

Honestly, she did not know why she was crying as she opened the trap door. She picked up the supplies for Apple Bloom and the little dress she had bought for her.

She had no idea why she was shaking and barely had any strength to keep her up. It was probably from staying with her little, always demanding baby sister. She needed to go visit her friends.

But that had to wait, Apple Bloom needed her now, and otherwise being alone didn't hurt.

Yes. For Applejack, there was no pain. No pain at all.