Marshal Twilight's Mystery Pony Theater

by Marshal Twilight

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Romance, Comedy
Length: 10667

Marshal Twilight being a sarcastic prick to aid his own self-esteem.

There are good fics, there are bad fics. Then there the fics that are so bad, they're actually good, if only for a laugh. Read as I highlight some of the ridiculous stories on fimfiction for my own personal amusement.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-14 00:07:13 UTC

Scootaloo's new life: Her new era

The sound of a bell ringing caused Twilight to look up from her book, and she smiled warmly when she saw Rainbow Dash letting herself in, Scootaloo riding on her back.

"Hey Twi, what's up?" Rainbow asked.

"Not much. Just a little relevant reading," Twilight replied. She held the book up so Rainbow could see.

Rainbow and Scootaloo couldn't help but snicker at the title: Anger Management For Beleaguered Academics. "So, I guess that means it's time for the next chapter of that story?"

Twilight grimaced. "Yeah, I suppose we can't put it off any longer."

Scootaloo frowned. "You still haven't told us why we're doing this."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "You aren't curious about what people are writing about you?"

Scootaloo considered this for a moment. "Alright, fine," she said. "Let's just hope this one is better."

"Yeah, I'm in too," Rainbow said. "At least until we have enough evidence to sue the author for using us as characters without getting permission."

Twilight smiled and nodded. "Okay, go ahead and have a seat. Let me just get Spike and we'll get started."

Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo trotted over to the couch and sat down. They were joined after a moment by a reluctant Spike, who sat next to Scootaloo. After sliding a new piece of paper into the projector, Twilight turned it on and sat down next to Rainbow.

The week was flying by for the three mares. Twilight had to develop a new schedule since Scootaloo was residing at the library. Since the day they found Scootaloo in the abandoned house, Twilight and Rainbow Dash began to worry that she might get sent to an orphanage in Canterlot, or even worse, Cloudsdale. Everyday Twilight woke up, gave Scootaloo food, and took her to school. She explained what happened to Scootaloo’s parents to Cheerliee and told her that they will find a solution pretty quick, but told her to not to say anything to Scootaloo about it because she doesn't want her to suffer anymore.

"Huh, that's weird."

"What?"

"Is it just me, or does the writing seem... Better?"

"Yeah, I see what you mean. It's still pretty bad, but the capital letters and periods actually seem to have been properly used for the most part. I wonder why."

"Maybe he got an editor."

"Impossible. No self-respecting editor would touch a story like this."

"Yeah, just like how no self-respecting librarian would have a book like this."

"Shut up."

Now it was friday, school just got out and The CMC sleepover got cancelled due to the discovery of where Scootaloo was found. Scootaloo was seen racing to the library on her scooter. Twilight told her that Celestia was going to come visit and help with the solution. As Scootaloo entered the library, she was greeted by Twilight and Rainbow Dash.

"Whoa, hold on. Why do we need Celestia to get involved in something like this? I mean, I know she and Luna run the whole country, but they don't do everything, right?"

"Yeah, they usually delegate their authority anyway, except for passing laws and executive orders."

"Must be nice having the Princess at your beck and call though."

"That's ridiculous. Princess Celestia is a busy mare. She doesn't hide around corners waiting for me to call for help."

"Yeah, if anything Twilight is the one at her beck and call. Remember when she sent you guys to deal with the dragon?"

"Wait, what?"

"Tell you later. It's an awesome story though."

"Just don't listen when Rainbow tells you she did everything."

"Hey!"

"Hey squirt how was school?” Rainbow asked.

"It was okay.” Scootaloo looked down anxiously. “So, Princess Celestia is coming over?"

"Yes, Scootaloo, she is gonna listen to you about what happened, Then she will ask us questions." Twilight chimed in.

Scootaloo couldn't help but nod. She knew that the princess will be able to help find a solution to her homelessness and lack of a family. Scootaloo went to the desk and took out her homework to do in the meantime.

Twilight and Rainbow went in the kitchen to talk privately. Twilight was extremely distressed at the thought of Celestia sending the poor filly to an orphanage or worse a homeless shelter.

"Couldn't help but nod, huh? You might want to see a doctor about that. It could mean you have weak neck muscles or something."

"Oh, ha ha."

"Okay, why does everypony seem to think that Celestia is an evil tyrant? I've never seen her do anything cruel or unfair, and yet whenever she's brought up ponies assume she's going to do something awful."

*Snickering*

"What?"

An hour passed and Celestia came into the library. "Hello Twilight." greeted Celestia.

Twilight, Rainbow and scootaloo bowed to her and rose. Celestia then walked to Scootaloo. She could tell, in her eyes was the pain of missing her family.

"I didn't realize eyeballs were two-way transmitters."

"Yeah, it's pretty amazing how Celestia can tell that Scootaloo is an orphan and misses her family just by looking in her eyes."

"I'm not an orphan!"

"We know, Scoots. We're just making fun of the story."

"Scootaloo. Why....why did you hide the fact you were an orphan? Celestia inquired. “We could of helped you."

"Sorry, Princess. I didn't know I had you on speed dial."

"Hah."

Scootaloo then began to tell Celestia about her family. She told her that her father died in a flight accident, while her mother only made it as far as the hospital. Celestia remembered Scootaloo's father; he was a great flyer, who died by crashing into the ground too hard causing him to die.

"Whoa, what? Celestia remembers my 'dad' just like that?"

"Wow, feel special squirt. Millions of ponies, and Celestia remembers your dad out of all of them."

"I'd just like to point out that if the Princess did know about this, she'd have already been aware that Scootaloo was an orphan and would have done something sooner."

Scootaloo also mentioned the fate of her sister, whom was raped. She then mentioned her brother. Celestia was shocked to know that Scootaloo was related to, Gray Cloud, an infamous hitpony who got caught and ended up in prison for the rest of his life. She then mentioned that her grandparents passed away when she was little due to old age. Lastly, she told Celestia that she never had aunts or uncles.

"Okay, really? He can use 'whom' but still struggles with commas?"

"And for having so many famous family members, you'd think somepony would notice that Scootaloo needed a home sooner."

After 5 minutes of explaining what happened and how she was surviving, Celestia then turned to Twilight and Rainbow, and began to ask them a series of questions. When they found her, what condition she was in, where she was found, and so on. Twilight and Rainbow answered every question to the best of their ability. After a while, Celestia had to talk with Scootaloo, then to both Twilight and Rainbow Dash. In the end she headed back to Canterlot to talk with somepony she knows.

Thirty minutes later, Celestia came back in the library from Canterlot with a decision.

"You're sending her away?" Twilight said in a scared tone.

"No Twilight......” The princess spoke calmly. “I need you both to sign this."

Celestia bought a paper out of her bag and showed it to Twilight and Rainbow. It was an adoption paper, with Scootaloo's name on it. Twilight and Rainbow both looked at each other thinking of what to say. Then looked back at Celestia.

"You....you mean...." Twilight was bewildered.

"I'm giving you the authority and the obligated right to have custody of Scootaloo. By signing this paper, you, Twilight Sparkle and you Rainbow Dash are legally going to be Scootaloo's new mothers. My friend said, since you found her and took her in until a decision was made, he's going to allow you to adopt her."

"So, apparently finders keepers applies to orphans. Better not get lost in the grocery store, Scoots."

"Ha, wow. It's nice that the Princess has so much faith in us, but really? She asks a few questions, and thirty minutes later she hands us adoption papers?"

"She didn't even ask us if she thought we'd be good parents, or were able to take care of her."

"Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I think you two would be awesome parents, but it just seems a little fast."

"Aww, that's sweet."

"Yeah, thanks squirt."

Twilight and Rainbow were overwhelmed with joy, they got a quill and signed their names on the paper.

Celestia gave them a smile. "I'll update the records. I'm entrusting you to make sure this filly grows."

With that, Celestia was off. Scootaloo was ecstatic. Even though she has to live with a married fillyfooler couple, Scootaloo hugged Twilight.

"Whoa, what the hay?! What's us—them!—being fillyfoolers got to do with anything?!"

"That did seem strange. And incredibly offensive. There are a lot of same-sex couples with adopted foals out there."

"You two seem really mad about this."

"Hay yeah, I am! I'm gay!"

"You are? I didn't know that."

"I know I'm not obvious about it, but really?"

"Well excuse me for not making it a habit to know everything about your personal life!"

"Bet you didn't know that Twilight's bisexual."

"Yeah, I—! Wait, what?"

"Spike!"

"What? It's true."

"I didn't know that."

"Oh, that's just hilarious. You were just raving about how I didn't know you were gay, and now look."

"Well, why didn't you ever mention it before?"

"I never really thought I needed to, since I'm not in a relationship."

"Yeah, I hear you."

"Not a word, Spike. Not. A. Word."

"I wasn't going to say anything."

"No, but you were thinking it."

"So, uh, anyway. Yeah, I wouldn't care if you two were together. The story makes it sound like I didn't like it or something."

"Well, it's good to know that your parents are a good influence on you, Scootaloo. Hate and prejudice never solved anything."

"Th....thank you. Thank you, Twilight....er I mean Mom." Scootaloo cried with glee.

"You're welcome Scootaloo. Tell you what, I will have Pinkie throw you a Party tomorrow! Would you like that?"

"Yes."

"So she's already calling her Mom, huh? Creepy, much?"

"No kidding."

"That's not even cute, that's just plain unhealthy. She just replaces her mom the second she gets a 'new' one?"

In what is now Scootaloo's bedroom, Scootaloo was sleeping. What she didn't realize that she was inside her dream. In her dream she was in a pitch black room, only to have a door, that says "Only will unlock when the dreamer wakes." Suddenly, Scootaloo heard familiar voices.

"Uh, what? There's a door in her dream that says "Only will unlock when the dreamer wakes", and Scootaloo doesn't realize she's in a dream?"

"I know dreams can be weird, but this is just..."

"Ridiculous?"

"Yeah."

"Mom? Dad? Sis?" Scoots was puzzled.

"Hey sweetie?"

"But.....you're dead?'

"You're in the Dream Void, the realm where you can talk to your deceased loved ones. Come sit, we want to talk."

Scootaloo came close to the spirits of her deceased family and sat down.

"We been watching you from the great beyond. We are proud you found a new family."

"HAHAHA! Are you serious?!"

"A 'dream realm' where you can talk to your deceased loved ones, huh? Gee, that sure would've been useful at, oh, any point in the last few years while Scootaloo was homeless and starving."

"You know, I've talked to Princess Luna in my dreams before. If this were happening for real, I'd think she was either playing a really mean joke on me, or she wasn't doing her job."

"And they're proud she found a new family, huh? Emphasis on 'new' since she's already calling Twilight 'Mom'.

"You...you aren't mad i'm now the daughter of two fillyfoolers?"

"No honey. We are glad. besides, they took you in when you were found, gave you food, and a place to live. They are happy to be with you. We also called them to this realm, us spirits can call others to come into the Dream Void."

"There's that prejudice again. Seriously, what's up with that? It's not even 'no, it shouldn't matter if they're fillyfoolers', it's more like 'they're good ponies despite that.'

"I don't know, but it's seriously starting to annoy me. I want to break this guy's nose."

"I'll let you smack him with one of my dictionaries."

Scootaloo turned and saw Twilight and Rainbow. She couldn't believe it. They were also in the Dream Void. For the time being They all talked and Scoots deceased family began to tell her to live her life as they watch over them in Skyhaven, a place where the deceased souls go, while evil goes to the nether. Suddenly they heard two clicks, It was 2 doors.

"It seems you're about to wake up. go through that door honey." Scoots’ mother explained.

"What will it do?"

"Once you enter it Scootaloo, you will exit the Dream Void and you be back in the physical world.”

“We’ll go through our door. See you back in the physical world." Called Twilight. Scootaloo nodded and watched Twilight and Rainbow leave.

"Okay, really?! Not only does this 'dream void' allow Scootaloo to talk to dead people, but it also lets us join in?"

"If something like this was possible dying wouldn't be a big deal at all."

"Pfft, yeah. It'd be more like 'Hey, dude, you want to go bowling?' 'Nah, I gotta die today. Talk to you tomorrow in the dream void though.'"

"Am I the only one who thinks that a conversation between my 'dead parents' and 'new parents' would be really, really awkward?"

"No kidding. 'Hi, Dust Storm! I'm Scootaloo's new mom! How is it being dead?'

In the physical world, Scootaloo began to move in her sleep. She was waking up after visiting the Dream Void. Rainbow and Twilight were in their bedroom, they saw their new daughter stir in her sleep. Suddenly, Scootaloo awakened.

"Hey mom." Scootaloo greeted groggily.

"Hey Scootaloo. That was amazing how we managed to see you in the Dream Void. Even to meet your deceased family."

"So, let me get this straight. Either Scootaloo has her own room, and we were somehow able to see her from ours, or all four of us are sharing one bedroom."

"As if it wasn't cramped enough already."

"It's not that bad."

"Twilight, I sleep in a basket."

"Yeah, okay, that kinda blows."

"Spike, you don't need a whole bed. You're fifteen inches tall."

"Sixteen!"

Scootaloo took it in and realized that dream did happen. Twilight came over to her adopted daughter’s side and nuzzled her. Even Rainbow nuzzled her newly adopted daughter. To scootaloo's surprise, they seemed liked the perfect family. Twilight decided to treat scootaloo to something as a welcome to the family gift.

After breakfast Twilight decided to go find Pinkie Pie, while Rainbow remained at the house to watch her new daughter. Even Spike seemed happy for Scootaloo, even though she was an orphan until yesterday. Through out that time, Rainbow had questions for Scootaloo, such as; why she didn't tell anyone? Why she didn't go to her friends? Scootaloo then told Rainbow that she was frightened that she was going to be taken away and be far from her friends. Twilight then came back with a smile for Scootaloo.

"So, we're the perfect family huh? An alicorn princess, her royal guard wife, their adopted daughter, and a baby dragon assistant. Yeah, it's a perfect match."

"Ha! It sounds like the start of a bad joke."

"And what's this about 'even Spike seemed happy for Scootaloo'? It makes it sound like he hates me or something."

"Yeah, that's weird. I like Scoots just fine."

"Pinkie Pie’s gonna throw the party. She is happy, but i could of sworn I saw her mane deflate when I mentioned the terrible fate of your family. She is planning the party at 3pm.”

Scootaloo was now filled with satisfaction. She was now having a party congratulating her on getting a new family. Her whole life she kept praying for a new family. She never in her life of being an orphan thought that it would happen, and it happened yesterday. Scootaloo ran up to Twilight and hugged her. "Th...thank you Tw-.....mom."

"Sweetie, you can call me Twilight anytime you want."

"Okay, now that is a genuinely interesting plot point."

"What?"

"Scootaloo not knowing if she should call me Mom or Twilight. That could actually be a good point of conflict in the story."

"I'll bet you ten bits that it never goes any farther than this."

"I wouldn't take that bet."

Upon hearing this, Rainbow came by Scootaloo side and hugged her. She was happy that that Scootaloo’s time of suffering was over. She then gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek and hugged her more, causing Scootaloo to blush. Twilight also realized that since Scootaloo is part of her family, that means she now has even more members in her family, She then tapped her on the shoulder.

"Scootaloo i forgot to tell you, since you are part of the family, my mother, father brother and sister in law are now you new family members."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Ugh, I am not that mushy."

"Neither am I. It's like I'm not even a character, I'm just a tool to make readers feel happy or sad."

"And did it really need to be said that Scootaloo can consider herself to be part of my family now? I would have thought that went without saying."

"And the author kind of didn't do anything with that either. He didn't even write that Scootaloo was happy to hear it, just 'yes'."

"Just because the spelling and grammar is improving doesn't mean everything else is."

The party came up and Scootaloo’s new family, went to the party. Once they arrived they met Pinkie who looked at Scootaloo with a smile.

"I really think your family will be proud. I bet they are watching over you in what we call Skyhaven." Said Pinkie as she and Scootaloo began conversation.

"What's Skyhaven?"

"Skyhaven is basically what we call, the afterlife. It’s where ponies go if they been good. Basically when you are there, you can do anything you wanted to do when you were in the living."

"Oh." The orange filly replied.

"Oh good, exposition. And it's barely even relevant, let alone necessary."

"Expo-what?"

"An info dump."

"Oh, why didn't you just say so?"

With that, Scootaloo went on her way to do just that. She went over to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders. The smiles on their faces diminished when they saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. They knew, since the very beginning that when Diamond Tiara, is near it means serious business.

"I was wondering when they'd show up."

"I can't believe the author made it all the way to chapter two before using them as cheap antagonists."

"I've heard about those two bothering you. You sure you don't want me to have a talk with them or something?"

"Nah, it's fine. They're nothing but a couple of spoiled brats anyway, I don't care what they think."

"Atta girl, squirt."

"Well look who it is, an orphan pony." DIamond Tiara taunted.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?”

"Orphan pony, blank flank."

Rainbow and Twilight looked over and saw Diamond Tiara, a devilish look plastered on her face. They trotted over to see what's going on.

"You should of stayed where you belong and frozen to death. The world needs less blank flanks."

"I think you should watch what you say here, my new mother won't wouldn't appreciate what you said. You be getting punished if your father was here."

"SHUT UP AND GO FREEZE!"

"Wow. They aren't actually that bad, are they?"

"No way. They're mean, but nothing like that."

"Yeah, that's less 'schoolyard bully' and more 'sadistic sociopath'."

"What are you saying to my angel?" Twilight asked sternly.

"Leave her alone!" demanded Rainbow.

"Why don't you shut up egghead. Go crash into a building Rainbow Trash."

This blew a fuse in Scootaloo. She got up and looked at Diamond. "You know if you keep this act up, you may be counted as a juvenile delinquent If you hit me in front of witnesses! AND DON'T EVER TALK TO MY MOMS LIKE THAT!"

"Seriously? Rainbow Trash? They wouldn't really think that's clever, would they?"

"No, I'm with the author on this one. They actually are that stupid."

"And egghead? Try for one I haven't heard a thousand times already."

"You hear that a lot?"

"Constantly. Ponies used to call me that all the time back in school."

"Wow. Now I feel bad for doing it so much."

"It's fine."

"It doesn't bother you?"

"It did at first, but I realized you weren't really trying to be mean."

"Yeah, it's just a little teasing. I'm not actually trying to insult you or anything."

"I know. Just don't try to do it too much if you can help it. Even if you don't mean it it can still bring up bad memories."

"Sorry. I'll try to stop doing it."

"Thanks."

"Definitely like each oth—"

*SMACK*

"OW!"

Diamonds flipped her lid, she lept on Scootaloo and began to punch her hard.

"YOU LITTLE PUNK!" diamond shouted.

Diamond kept punching Scootaloo, everypony else watching the horror, until RIch came. He saw her daughter's behavior and it blew a gasket.

"DIAMOND TIARA!" He shouted.

Diamond Tiara then stopped, she just got busted. As she hopped off  Scootaloo's face was black and blue. Luckily she wasn't through quite yet. She got up, and stood her ground.

"Well, that escalated quickly."

"Yeah, seriously. Diamond is a jerk, but that was just crazy."

"Nice job helping your 'daughter', you two."

"Ha, right? I'd have pulled that little twerp off Scoots in a second."

"Not that you'd have needed to. Diamond is a total wimp."

Twilight and Rainbow looked at one another. "D....do you think I should press charges Rainbow?" Twilight pondered.

Rainbow looked at Scootaloo, then at diamond, whom still had the devilish eye. "*Sigh* Yeah Twi, we need to press charges."

"Mr. Rich?"

"Yes Missus Sparkle?" A disgruntled Filthy Rich turned to Twilight.

"Due to your daughters actions, assaulting my daughter, I’m afraid I have to press charges."

"Wow, an actual sensible decision. I'm pretty sure that's the only one I've seen in the story so far."

This made diamond furious. She then punched Twilight’s stomach knocking her down. This time Scootaloo laughed sarcastically. "Tsk tsk tsk. It's game over Diamond. You assaulted royalty, That will lead you, according to equestria law, 9 years in prison.  Looking forward for your trial in Canterlot?"

"Okay, seriously? Diamond is like, half your size. There's no way she'd take you down with one punch."

"I agree. I'm not the most athletic of ponies, but that was just ridiculous."

"Why is Scootaloo talking like a lawyer? She goes to elementary school, not law school."

"Yeah, even I don't know the penalty for attacking royalty off the top of my head."

"Speaking of which, Diamond is underage. As awesome as it would be, I really doubt they'd throw her in prison."

"I wouldn't even want them to. Sending a filly to prison, even for something like this, would be an awful thing to do. If I pressed charges, it would be against her father, not Diamond."

Suddenly the police came in, They saw Rainbow pick up Twilight whom was okay.

"Ma'am you alright." The police officer requested.

"Ha, sounds like the cop is checking you out, Twi."

"It's amazing what a missing comma and question mark can do to a sentence."

"Yes. I'll like to press charges of juvenile delinquency on this filly with the tiara."

"Don't forget assault on Royalty mom, Under law that could lead her up to 9 years in prison."

Upon hearing this, The police were shocked, a school age filly knowing the law. They nodded and cuffed Diamond Tiara, who was going to stand Trial.

"I think we're all shocked by that."

"Juvenile delinquency isn't a crime. It's a term that refers to underage ponies committing crime, not a specific law being broken."

As they left, Twilight used her magic to take pictures of the black and blue mark on her and the marks on Scootaloo to use in court. She then used a healing spell on her and Scootaloo.

"Why does everypony think that magic can do anything? I 'used my magic to take pictures'? Really? I guess my brain has a film developer built in."

The party was about to continue when suddenly, there was a gasp. "Scootaloo. your flank!" Applebloom said

"Oh no, don't tell me..."

Scootaloo then looked at her flank and her mouth fell right open at what she saw, on her flank, was a Cutie mark, a Golden scale.

"Wh..What is this?"

Suddenly something clicked in Twilight’s head. "It's a law cutie mark, The Scale of Justice. It symbolizes that you're one with the law and that you will do anything you can until Justice is served."

"Yep."

"Ugh! I would hate being a lawyer!"

"So, without any kind of explanation, Scootaloo is incredibly well-read in Equestrian law, despite having no parents, tutors, or any kind of access to textbooks as far as we know. Knowledgeable enough that she has the law memorized to the letter and it's her special talent."

"'One with the law and that you will do anything you can until Justice is served', huh? Must be a different kind of lawyer than the ones I've heard of."

"There are good lawyers out there, Rainbow."

"Oh yeah? Name one."

"I didn't say I knew any."

Scootaloo's heart sank. She just realize she's the only CMC to get their Cutie Mark. "A...are you guy's gonna Kick me out of the group?"

"Of course not. We’ll change the rules, to Ponies who have cutie marks, can help those without them get one."

Scootaloo was happy, but she glanced at silver spoon who was happy. "S....Silver?"

"I'm just happy I'm free from these heavy chains diamond put on me. The reason why I bullied you is because diamond tiara was forcing me. She found my secret and she forced me to. I'm glad that little Brat is gonna get justice.”

"...Seriously? They expect us to believe that all this time, Silver Spoon only joined in because of blackmail?"

"For the life of me I can't figure out why the author is trying to shift all the blame onto Diamond Tiara. It's not like Silver Spoon never did anything bad."

With everything out of the way, the party continued, celebrating not only Scootaloo getting a new family, but getting a law cutie mark. The CMC, the other members of the mane 6 and Twilight and Rainbow Sat with each other, and were discussing things. Twilight was surprised. Like her brother, Scootaloo, had just shown she is a mare of justice. Moments before hand, Rich knew that charges were the right thing, and if Diamond was going to be sent to Juvenile Hall for assaulting royalty. But for the rest of the night, everyone partied.

"Okay, first of all, Scootaloo's brother is not a 'mare of justice'. For one thing, the fact that he's her 'brother' implies that he's a stallion. Secondly, he's in prison for being a hitpony."

"Pretty sure the author meant your brother, Twi."

"I realize that, but I'm not about to miss an opportunity to mock this story."

"Fair enough."

"And Rich is really alright with us suing his daughter? I mean, I know she's a total psycho in this story, but I really doubt that any halfway decent parent would be alright with somepony suing his daughter and putting her in jail. He'd try to talk us out of it."

Celestia sent the three a message stating to come to Canterlot for Diamond Tiaras trial. The family came to Canterlot and entered the courthouse. Twilight never been in the courthouse before, but she knew her brother had been when he was called for jury duty. As they enter the courtroom for Diamonds Trial they headed towards the Plaintiff bench. Diamond Tiara was cuffed. Celestia then entered the courtroom and went to the Judges bench.

"Huh, I didn't know Princess Celestia moonlighted as a judge."

"Apparently she isn't just the ruler of Equestria, she's the entire government. Social services, legal system, head of the military..."

"Court is now in session for the trial of Diamond Tiara." Celestia said. She then turned to Diamond Tiara,. "Mrs. Tiara, Is it true you committed Assault, and Assault on royalty?"

"NO! I HAD THE RIGHTS!" She exclaimed.

"Hahahaha! 'NO! I HAD THE RIGHTS!'"

"That is pretty funny."

"And the right to assault royalty? I have to wonder when that 'right' comes into play. Or where it is in the constitution."

"Don't raise your voice, this is a court of law. A place where Justice is served."

"Good thing she cleared that up. I was really confused about what courts were for."

"The author certainly has a very 'strict' view of justice. Kind of uncomfortably so."

"Yeah, I'm half expecting Celestia to have her executed or something."

Celestia then turned to Scootaloo. "Ms. Scootaloo, is it true that Diamond committed assault on you and Princess Twilight?"

"Yes your honor. She did commit assault on me and Twilight. We have evidence. Pictures of the marks from the blow."

Twilight than levitated the photos of the marks on Scootaloo. They were official, they were marks from a serious blow. Celestia then asked Scootaloo to take the witness stand. In Scootaloo's testimony, she recalled the events and had Twilight use her magic, to recreate a simulation of the events. After Scootaloo gave her testimony, Scootaloo then mention she saw Diamond punch Twilight causing her to get a black and blue mark.

As the Trial went on, Celestia had to talk with the jury, Scootaloo felt nervous. “Please be guilty.” She silently prayed.

"...Wow. This isn't much of a trial, is it?"

"Yeah, I can tell this is pretty ridiculous. Aren't trials supposed to be fair?"

"Diamond doesn't even have a lawyer. This isn't a trial, it's just public humiliation."

"Don't worry. Didn't you notice how the author keeps capitalizing 'trial'? That obviously makes it more legitimate."

Twilight could hear Scootaloo's thought, she then whispered in her ear. "Relax, If they give her a not guilty verdict, they will give her a restraining order Sweetheat." Twilight assured.

Rainbow then put a wing over Scootaloo and hugged her."Relax Scoots, it's gonna be okay."

5 minutes later, Celestia went back to the judges bench. "Diamond Tiara, The court, and the jury, has found you guilty of all charges. You will be sentenced to Canterlot Juvenile Hall, and to Canterlot prision when you're 18 for the 9 years until you served prison time."

"Nice. In and out with a guilty verdict in what, fifteen minutes?"

"In real life the opening statements alone would take fifteen minutes."

With everything out of the way, Twilight teleported them back to the library. As they reach the library, Twilight couldn't help but smile at her wife and daughter. They were glad diamond tiara got justice. As Rainbow took off her armor, Scootaloo asked her if she can help with her homework. Rainbow nodded and followed Scootaloo to her room to help her out with her assignments. Twilight went to the kitchen and made herself some mid-morning coffee. She couldn't believe the trial.

As she was having her coffee, Rainbow came downstairs and pecked her wife on the cheek, causing her to giggle softly. "Hows scootaloo's homework going?"

"It's going good. She said she needed help with math, I'm getting her a drink so she can stay focused. But I gotta say, I'm glad the filly that beat her up is now in Juvenile hall."

"Hang on, why am I the one helping with math? I hate math, and I'm not very good at it anyway."

"You aren't? I thought math was important in flying."

"The teachers all say that, but it's really just look and feel. Most of it's just instinct."

"Or maybe you're just using it without realizing it."

"Are you calling me dumb?"

"No, I'm saying you're smart."

"...Oh. Uh, thanks."

"Well I know certain ponies aren't like me. But I hope she does well in math."

With that, Rainbow grabbed Scootaloo a soda, and headed to her room to help her out.

In Scootaloo's room, she was smiling at Dash. "Thank you Dash."

"Your welcome!” Dash was always eager to help. “So why do you find math hard."

"Sometimes its confusing, right now we are learning division and I stink at it."

"Scoots, Division is easy."

"What you mean."

"Subtraction is the opposite of addition. Division is the opposite of Multiplication."

“What?” Scootaloo gave Rainbow a puzzled look.

"Heres a clue. Let use 9x9 for example. 9 times 9 is 81. now lets reverse it to 81 divided by 9."

Scootaloo suddenly realized it. She felt stupid. “Oh! It’s like multiplying, but with the answer to the multiplication problem is in the problem itself."

"Oh, so division is just the opposite of multiplication. If only I knew that. That makes it so easy!"

Scootaloo took it in and began to do her math, while Rainbow watched her do them. She couldn't believe it, the thing she said was actually working. After she finished, she called Twilight to check the problems. As Twilight check the problems, she then looked a Rainbow. "DId you give her the answers?" Twilight asked suspiciously.

"No. She found it confusing, so I told her to think using multiplication, but with the answer in the problem itself. Turns out she didn't even realize it was like multiplication."

Twilight was now happy to hear that her daughter was actually now realizing what division was. She hugged her happily. "You know Scootaloo, You may be different from me, but I think if you try hard, you’ll do great in life." The lavender alicorn praised as she nuzzled her daughter.

Scootaloo was happy that she got her math done. She then asked Rainbow to give her a flying lesson, to which Rainbow gladly obliged.

"Wow, that makes me sound really arrogant."

"What do you mean?"

"'You may be different from me, but I think if you try hard, you'll do great in life'."

"Huh. Okay, I see your point."

"I don't really sound like that, do I?"

"Nah. You can get a little smarmy, but you're usually pretty modest."

"Yeah, unlike Rainbow."

"Hey!"

The next day Twilight and Rainbow were walking with Scootaloo to school. It turns out that this day was going to mark the first day without Diamond Tiara. As they reached the School, Twilight nuzzled Scootaloo and made sure she had everything. With that out of the way she headed into the building to meet Cheerliee.

"Hi Ms. Cheerilee." Greeted Scootaloo

"Hey Scootaloo. I see you have a law cutie mark."

"Let's not get off topic, I think we have a lesson to be learned."

"Pffft, yeah, that sounds like Scoots."

"Sure the author didn't mix her up with Twilight?"

"Hey!"

"What? You like learning, that's all."

"Uh huh."

"And you're a total dork."

"HEY!"

*Snickering*

Scootaloo perched up. "I'm afraid I have to say this but, due to amount of evidence that was on her since that incident at the party, under law, the charges were finalized and she won't be in class again. Due to her being under the age of 18, the law basically states that anyone under the age 18 will be send to Juvenile Hall. She’ll be in Juvy until she's 18 for, what she did at the party."

Cheerliee was stunned how Scootaloo knows the law. "I must say Scootaloo, you know the laws really well. I'm shock ed she is in Juvenile Hall though."

"Aren't we all?"

With everything out of the way, the lesson began. Through out the day, Scootaloo was making an effort to pay more attention. She was glad things are going smooth. The next subject to came up was math. It was the same lesson as last time, division. Scootaloo was now nervous about it. She got the paper and looked at the problems, she was going to have a hard time. Suddenly a voice began to ring in her head, She then had a flashback what Rainbow told her. She now realized it and began to do the work as the lesson proceeded. She kept reminding herself that its like multiplication but reversed. The bell for recess rang and everyone went outside. Scootaloo was having a fantastic day.

After school

Rainbow and Twilight were seen walking together, to the schoolhouse. As they were walking they were talking to one another and revelling each others company . As they were walking they met up with Applejack and Rarity, who were heading to the schoolhouse also. As they reached the Schoolhouse the students ran out like the building was on fire. Scootaloo came up to Twilight and hugged her.

"Hey mom." she greeted

"Hey sweetheart house it going."

"Great. Thanks to Rainbow, I’m finally doing well in math."

"That's great Sweetie! How about we treat you to something from Sugar Cube Corner?"

Scootaloo’s eyes lit up over what her mom just told her. The family headed back to the library and dropped scootaloo's stuff off and headed to Sugarcube Corner for a treat.

"Oh, good. It's finally over."

"Yeah, even though it's a lot better than it was, it's still pretty bad."

"I still think it's weird that I'm the one who taught her math. Flying lessons I can understand, but math?"

"This story never made sense. I don't expect it to start now."

"Hey, there's something else there."

Author's Note:

Well heres the new chapter. anyway I now have an editor helping me out with the fic. Stay tuned for future chapters.

I'll release the next chapter when i get to it and have edits done.

"Oh my Celestia, he actually found an editor? One who didn't commit suicide after reading this?"

"I can't believe it either. Someone actually looked at this story and thought 'yeah, you know what? This has potential.'"

"Well, at least he seems kind of decent. The story is a lot better."

"That's not enough though. That would be like if a building burned down, and you tried to rebuild it by gluing the ashes together."

"Never said it was a good story."

"So, that's all I can stand for today. What do you want to do now?"

"I've gotta meet Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. We're gonna go crusading again."

"Okay, try not to do anything too dangerous. I'll see you next time."

"Bye!"

"Sheesh, you really are acting like her mom. The story must be affecting you."

"It is not! It's only natural to be concerned when they have a habit of suffering serious injuries and destroying property."

"Touché."

"Well I'm hungry. You want to get something to eat?"

"Sure. What about you, Spike?"

"Nah, I think I'm gonna take a nap. See you two later."

"So, do you want to do this again sometime?"

"...It's weird but I kinda do."

"I know what you mean. Well, hopefully the trend continues and the next chapter is better."

"I wouldn't bet on it."

Scootaloo's new life: The horrible discovery

"Welcome everypony, for the first edition of Marshal Twilight Sparkle's Mystery Pony Theater!" Twilight said dramatically.

"Huh? Marshal?" Rainbow asked quizzically. "Since when are you in the military?"

"And that rank doesn't even exist," Spike deadpanned. "The highest rank in the Royal Guard is 'Captain'."

"Quiet you, I don't have time for your facts," Twilight snapped.

"Why am I here?" Scootaloo asked loudly.

"Because today's entry involves you," Twilight explained.

"Huh? Ponies have written stories about me?" she asked in confusion.

"Well, yeah," Spike answered. "You're pretty popular. Almost as much as me!"

"Get in line, newbie," Rainbow boasted. "Any idea how many fics get written about me?"

"Almost as many as I get," Twilight snarked. "Now, if everypony is ready, it's time for our first chapter!" Twilight leaned forward and flipped on the projector, which came to life with a hum and laid the image of the first page on the wall in front of the couch. All the ponies (and one dragon) present took a seat and began to read.

It was a winter afternoon, and ponies were dressed warm to keep them selves from getting hypothermia and frostbite.

"Well, I see we're off to a great start. Cold weather can be dangerous. Centuries of study and thousands of research papers on it, and we find out from a poorly written self-published story. This is why Discord almost won."

"Shush, I'm trying to read!"

As they were walking, they were discussing what they were going to attempt to do to get their cutie marks. Applebloom suggested bowling, but she realize she and the other two did that. They continued discussing until they gave up. "So how about we have a sleepover at your place Scoots." Sweetie Belle suggested.

"Uh ummm..... I'm not sure......"

"What's wrong? You chicken?"

"HEY!"

"Shhh!"

"I'm not a chicken!"

"We know that, squirt."

"Then why is everypony always calling me that?"

"Well, you do have wings, and trouble flying..."

"Shut up, Fax Machine."

"You think you have it bad? Half the stories about me involve me getting raped, tortured, or murdered. Sometimes all at once."

"What's rape?"

"Never you mind. Now get back to reading."

"Look i'm not prepare to have a sleepover at my place."

"Scoots your okay?"

"I need time. let me go home. *SIgh*"

"Is there a single sentence in this story that isn't an affront to the Equestrian language!?"

"And why would I need to prepare for a sleepover? We just play around and fall asleep anyway."

Scootaloo sighed and she went on her way to go home. Scootaloo didn't want anyone to know the tragedy she went through when all her family members past away, leaving her brother to go to jail. Scootaloo didn't want anyone to realize she was an orphan.

"Wha?! I'm not an orphan!"

"You're not?"

"No! I just live outside Ponyville!"

"Relax Scoots, we know."

I don't want them to know. They will hate me for telling lies about my parents. scoots thought to herself. Scoots began to head her way to sugar cube corner in a sadden state to have a quick bite before heading back to her so call home

"Uh, you guys do know that Scoots isn't my real name, right? It's just a nickname. I don't even like it that much."

"Wait, you don't like it when I call you Scoots?"

"No, it's fine when you do it, but it gets annoying when everypony calls me that all the time."

"I'm just trying to figure out what the hay a "sadden state" is. Or a "so call home".

"Maybe it's a really run-down area of Fillydelphia?"

"That's one of the better possibilities so far. The worst is that the author was actually trying to say 'saddened'."

In the library, Twilight and Rainbow were seen goofing off.

"Seen by who? And since when do I let Rainbow play around in my library?"

"Yeah, she doesn't let me do anything fun."

"Wanton destruction of property is not 'fun'."

Ever since Rainbow proposed to Twilight and they married each other, Rainbow gave up her house and decided to live with her alicorn wife. "*Giggles* Rainbow you know, I think i married the perfect mare to be my wife." Twilight said

"WHAT?!"

"WHAT?!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Rainbow and Twilight, sittin' in a tree!"

"You know what the best part is? They actually are sitting in a tree right now!"

"WE ARE NOT TOGETHER! I DON'T EVEN FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT HER! AND WHY WOULD I GIVE UP MY HOUSE? MY HOUSE IS AWESOME! AND I'M NOT THAT SAPPY, EITHER!"

"And what kind of sloppy storytelling is this?! They just take the romance and shove it in our faces without warning?! And he's using asterisks to denote action! That's incredibly unprofessional!"

"I don't know what asterisks are, but what she said!"

"What can i say, You are a beautiful mare too. I'm glad I married you."

"I'd start throwing up, but I don't think I'd be able to stop."

"Right there with ya, squirt."

They began to giggle at each other and proceeded to kiss. They kissed like they had they had the whole world to themselves.

"Twilight can we do something else? Something more fun, like a dentist appointment, or inspecting a sewer?"

"This is important, Rainbow."

"Why?"

"I'll tell you when I think of something."

As they kissed, they del their breath became warm.

"What does del mean, Twilight?"

"It doesn't mean anything. It's not a word. I can't even figure out what he was trying to say."

When they got married, Rainbow became Twilights first royal guard and couldn't help but feel great about it.

"What? Since when am I a guard?"

"Since we got married, apparently."

"I'm just waiting for the magical foal born out of a union of pure love."

"That's a thing?"

"No, but it's a popular concept in trashy romance novels."

"And you know this how?"

"...Research."

"Gee, Spike, knock next time." Rainbow said in a irritated manner

"Sorry. I'm still getting used to two mares being here. Anaway, Sweetie belle and Applebloom, are looking for you Twilight. They said something seems up with Scootaloo. They think she's hiding something."

"Right, because never before has a mare visited the public library while I happened to be inside."

"Don't your friends visit us like, three times a week?"

"I was being sarcastic, Spike."

"Okay i'll be down their. Rainbow i'll be back for round 2."

"Twilight, why is your left eye twitching?"

"Because apparently the destruction of grammar causes a temporary lack of control in my orbicularis oculi muscle."

"In Equestrian, egghead?"

"This story is so bad that I can't control my eyelid anymore."

With that Twilight went downstairs to see what the CMC wanted. As she went downstairs she saw not only two of the three CMC, but Applejack and Rarity. They all had a conceded face. "Whats wrong?" said Twilight

"Conceded...face..."

"Twilight...You're scaring me. Please stop charging that spell."

"Okay...deep breaths, Twilight...Don't crush the projector until it reaches the density of a collapsed star...The resulting gravitational field would most likely be strong enough to destroy the planet...Okay, I'm calm."

"We...we were planning a Sleepover at Scoots place. But she said no."

"It's probably because her parents say no."

"That's the thing Twi. Every time we see scoots, She's by herself Every time when school ends her parents don't show up, not even at meetings. She even didn't give us any detail about her parents. all she said was that they were the best parents she had."

when hearing this, something clicked in Twilights head. "Say that again Applebloom. about the part with best parents."

"all she said was that they were the best parents she had."

Twilight now realized what scootaloo was hiding. She realized that scoots was hiding the fact that she's an orphan. Twilight was shocked upon hearing this. "Girls, i recommend you get yourselves and your sisters home. Me and Rainbow are going to find her." Twilight said

"Really? I reached that conclusion just because we've never seen her parents? That's some pretty impressive deduction. I think magic might be my wrong calling in life."

"My parents both work in Cloudsdale! They don't come to Ponyville except on weekends to buy groceries and stuff!"

"And why is Twilight getting rid of everypony except me?"

"Because it's a transparent attempt to avoid writing more characters. Didn't you notice that Applejack and Rarity don't have any dialogue?"

"I bet if Rarity did talk, the author would have her call everypony 'darling', even though she's only said that like four times since we've met her."

"You're probably right."

The sisters nodded and head their way back to their homes. Twilight, put on her jacket and ran upstairs to get Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow put your armor back on. We have a problem."

"Aw Twi, we were going to start round 2. What's wrong Twi?"

"Since when do I wear a jacket?"

"And why do I need guard armor to find Scootaloo?"

"Round 2 of what? That's the second time Rainbow has said that."

"Don't mind that part, Spike. The author is a terrible person and his words should be ignored."

8:00 PM

abandon house

"Abandon house? Why? Is it on fire or something?"

"I believe the author was trying to say 'abandoned'."

"It was a joke, Twilight. You and Spike aren't the only ones who can do sarcasm."

Scootaloo just finished a decent meal at Sugarcube corner with her bits and she proceeded to head back to her current home, an abandon home on the outskirts. As she Walked in, she put her bags down and went into her so called room. In her room she then grabbed a old letter that she open certain times. She now was crying. Mom, Dad, why did you have to die in that accident? she said to herself. Suddenly She heard a noise, and a sound of magic being lifted. She then saw two shadows coming up the stairs. As the Shadows open the door , she noticed it was Twilight and Rainbow Dash. They were shocked to see where scootaloo ended up.

"I'm not like that at all! That Scootaloo is a big wuss!"

"We know, squirt. You're way cooler than her."

"Awww, thanks Rainbow Dash!"

"No problem. What do you think, Twi? Twilight? Hey, why isn't she moving?"

"I think she's in shock. Probably from all the bad grammar. I'm not even obsessed with it like she is, but I'm pretty sure reading that made me sterile."

"Sterile? How do you even know what that means? You're way too young for that."

"I live in a library, Rainbow. Twilight isn't always watching me."

"Squirt? Why? Why didn't you tell us the truth? Why didn't you tell anyone you're an orphan?" Rainbow said in a gentle tone.

"BECAUSE I'M NOT AN ORPHAN!"

"No shouting in the library!"

"Oh hey, that snapped her out of it. Something to remember next time."

Scoots then had tears in her eyes. Her secret was out. Twilight felt bad for the filly, the poor thing was left to defend herself. She then glimpsed at a letter that scoots was holding. "What's that" Twilight asked."

"I get that this is supposed to make me feel bad, but I can't stop laughing at how cheesy it is."

"Why is there no question mark there? And why is there an extra quotation mark at the end of the sentence?"

"At least he used 'asked' to denote the question this time."

"*Sinff* My one last letter, from my mom, before...before....she died."

"Wait, she had time to write a letter, but not to see her daughter in person?"

"Either that or she was insanely well-prepared for her impending death, yet didn't feel the need to actually tell anypony else about it."

Both Rainbow and Twilight looked at each other. They now figured out Scootaloos mom must of died when she was young. Twilight nor Rainbow wanted to leave Scootaloo in this house. Twilight walked up to Scootaloo. "Hop on my back. we'll take you to the library. You can stay with us, until we decide what to do about the situation."

Scootaloo was shocked, Twilight offered a place for her. Without resisting, she hopped on Twilight's back and the group headed back to the library.

"Her mom died when she was young? Unfathomable. Especially since Scootaloo is still a filly in the story."

"Uh, pretty sure my legs still work. Why do you have to carry me? And would you really offer me a place to stay if I was an orphan?"

"Well, of course. At least until we could find you a nice foster home or something. We don't really have enough room for you to stay permanently though."

"Yeah, sorry Scoots, but Twilight and I already have to share the bedroom."

"What about you, Rainbow?"

"Hay yeah, I'd help! You're like a little sister to me, Scoots! But, to be honest, I probably wouldn't be much of a parent. Half the time you almost get killed crusading, it's because I gave you a hang glider or something."

"Wait, you did what?!"

"Hey, I remember that! They totally broke one of Twilight's windows!"

"That cost me fifty bits to replace! Rainbow Dash, you irresponsible—!"

"Uh, let's keep reading!"

At the library, Twilight was making Scootaloo hot chocolate, while Rainbow got Scootaloo a blanket. She was very cold. Scootaloo was now wondering why Rainbow was here. Um... R....Rainbow?" Scootaloo asked

"Yea squirt?"

"Why are you here?"

"I haven't figured that out yet either."

"Be quiet! You still owe me for helping you clean out Fluttershy's shed last week!

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"What was wrong with Fluttershy's shed?"

"It was filthy! It hadn't been cleaned in ages!"

"I....I live here with Twilight now."

"What happened to your house?"

"I sold it."

"What the hay?! I love my house! I wouldn't sell it! And why would I live here of all places?! Twilight just said she doesn't have enough room for anypony else!"

"Don't remind me. I've been wanting my own room forever."

"I already told you, we don't have a spare room."

"Except the one you use as a science lab."

"I need it for research!"

"You mean reading crappy romance novels?"

"SPIKE!"

"Fine, shutting up now."

"Y...you still have your job as a weather pony?"

"I retired."

*Strangled cry*

"Wow, I'd sure like to be able to retire in my twenties. Most ponies just have to quit their jobs and not get paid anymore if they want to stop doing them."

"Explains why I'm not allowed to quit. I'm not a pony."

"She doesn't pay you, either."

"Yes I do! I give him food, shelter, and gems!"

"I'm pretty sure that kind of 'pay' has been illegal for six hundred years."

"Well, I could always just stop giving you gems if you're going to complain about it."

"...Fine, I'll be quiet."

"Oh. Well i guess you're still in the wonderbolts academy."

"I dropped out. I wanted to be with my wife, Twilight. I'm also her royal guard."

"..."

"..."

"PFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Are you also a robot ninja assassin?"

"While I'm...flattered, I would actually feel terrible if Rainbow gave up on her dream for my sake."

"Yeah, that's why you're so awesome, Twi! You know what it's like to push for something like that! You get how much joining the Wonderbolts means to me, and that's really cool."

"...Thanks, Rainbow."

"Awwwww, they really do like each other!

"No one likes sarcasm, Spike."

"Who said I was being sarcastic?"

*SMACK*

"Okay, okay!"

As she finished her sentence Twilight came to scootaloo side and gave her the hot chocolate and she began to drink it. She was still cold but the Chocolate was helping her warm up. After she finished drinking it Twilight then took the cup to the sink and came back and sat by scootaloo along with Rainbow Dash. She saw the tears of pain in Scoots eyes.

"Oh, I see! Those aren't regular tears, they're tears of pain! Thank Celestia the author specified. I wouldn't have understood that otherwise. I'm so glad he uses his time for that instead of, say, putting in an apostrophe or two every once in a while."

"I still don't like how much of a wuss I am in this story. I wouldn't cry like that!"

"Don't worry Scoots, we know it's not real. Just like how Twilight and I aren't actually married."

"Yet."

*SMACK*

"OW!"

"Scootaloo, What happened to your parents?" she asked

"I never told anyone this. When i was little I was home alone one day in ponyville, I was waiting for my mother and father to come home. No one was home at the time, my sister was murdered by a rapist, my grandparents past away when i was young, I have not aunts or uncles, and lastly my brother ended up in jail, because he was a Stallion for hire to kill and gets payed for it."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"T-that...That is the most ridiculous and contrived backstory I have ever read in my life!"

"See, it couldn't have just been a regular murderer, it also had to be a rapist. Is the author just trying to write the most depressing story ever or what? Man, what a clown!"

"No, clowns are supposed to be funny. The author is trying to write a tragedy. He's succeeding, but for the wrong reasons."

"I still don't know what rape is! And I don't even have a sister! Well, except for Rainbow Dash."

"Aww, thanks squirt."

"And really?! Her brother is a hitpony?! He couldn't have been killed, incapacitated, or just not exist? No, the author had to create a brother for Scootaloo, and throw him in jail for being an assassin. Just...I don't even...WHAT?!"

"Okay, calm down Twilight. Just...Go have a drink of water or something. Come back when you feel better."

"Y-yeah okay, I'll be back in a minute. You guys can keep going if you want."

"Man, she really hates bad writing, doesn't she?"

"You don't know the half of it. She found a typo in a textbook once and burned down an entire wing of the Canterlot library."

"Whoa, seriously?"

"No, but I wouldn't be surprised."

"Great, I actually thought Twilight was cool for a second. Whatever, let's get back to reading."

Twilight and Rainbow both were stunned what they learned about scootaloos brother. He was a Hitpony.

"I....It wasn't until later in the evening i got a letter, from......from my Mom."

"A letter?"

"Want me to read it for you?"

Both Rainbow and Twilight nodded and Scoots began to read the letter.

"Wow, she sure is eager to share that letter."

"Especially since a few paragraphs ago she was trying her best to keep anypony from finding out she was an orphan."

My angel Scootalooo

By time you read this, me and your father have passed away.

Your father was killed in a flight accident while I survived but died in the hospital.

I want you to know you are the only remaining member of this family.

Please, stick up for yourself. We be watching over you from the afterlife.

Dust Storm

"Ha, wow. She sure didn't feel great about her chances. She actually wrote "I died in the hospital" in past tense. Also, "we be watching over you"? Was Dust Storm a pirate?"

"That's dumb! If she was hurt that bad but still able to write a letter, she could've told Scoots in person!"

"Yeah! My mom wouldn't just leave me some crummy letter and die! She's too cool for that!"

"And what kind of advice is "I want you to know you are the only remaining member of this family. Please stick up for yourself"?"

"Yeah, what's with that? She might as well have just said "You're on your own now. Good luck, sucker!"

"Okay, I'm better now. Did I miss anything?"

"Yeah, but you should skip it. You'd probably just get angry again."

"Well, alright then. Want to keep going?"

"No, but I can't stop reading for some reason."

Twilight and Rainbows hearts were now broken. They now realized that scootaloo is the last remainder of her family. They felt hurt inside for the filly. She was left to fend for herself.  They couldn't believe how the filly was still alive. Scootaloo than began to shed tears a little and Twilight began to rub her back. "Its okay scootaloo." Twilight murmured .

"It's okay Scootaloo...You're with us now..."

"Forever...and ever...and ever..."

"Ugh, you two are so creepy!"

*Giggling*

"My parents are dead. My families gone. What point is their being okay."

"Well, being okay is kind of a reward on its own. There's a lot of point in being okay, really."

"Maybe she meant to say 'No, it's not okay!'"

"Also possible."

Twilight and Rainbow felt very bad for Scootaloo. Scootaloo life was ruined. They needed to figure out something. Suddenly Twilight hit an idea. She could give Scootaloo the guest room. She didn't want Scootaloo to suffer anymore. "Rainbow, honey, can you show Scootaloo to the guest room?"

"How does one hit an idea? Besides, I would never do that! Hit a poor, defenseless idea? How awful!"

"And what's this about a guest room? I thought you didn't have one, Twi?"

"I don't! This story is bending reality to fit the ridiculous premise!"

"Don't all stories do that?"

"Yes, but this one is especially bad!"

"What ya mean Twi?"

"She is gonna stay here until I decide what i'm going to do."

Scootaloo eyes widen and she looked at Twilight. "you mean it?"

"Yes scoots. I'll figure something out during the week. I promised. but for now, why don't you hit the hay."

"Really? I just decide for her that she's going to stay with me? That's really irresponsible. I would've at least reported that she was a minor with no guardian before trying to adopt her."

"Yeah, I'm with Twi. You could get in a lot of trouble for something like that. What if her parents really were alive? You could get sued for foalnapping."

"Huh. I'm kind of surprised to hear you say that. I figured you'd just take her in, no questions asked."

"Come on, Twi. I may not know what a super collider is, but I'm not an idiot."

"...You're right. I'm sorry, Rainbow."

"S'alright. I know you weren't trying to be mean."

"Rainbow and Twilight, sittin' in a—OW!"

"He's really stubborn."

"He'll learn eventually."

Scootaloo nodded. She was very tired and Rainbow led her to the guest room. In all of the time Twilight was here, she never knew scootaloo hid something from em. She never knew scootaloo was homeless,  Twilight was now thinking hard, she was deciding if adopting Scootaloo was an option and becoming her mother, and Dash becoming her sister in law, she knew that would make Scootaloo happy. But right now, Twilight needed time to decide what to do for the poor filly."

"Whoa, really? I find out she's an orphan, and less than ten minutes later I'm already planning to replace her mother?"

"Yeah, I would actually think that's kinda creepy. I mean, if you wanted to lend me a hoof that'd be great and all, but if you started trying to get me to call you 'mom' or something, that would be weird."

"I'm with Scoots. I've lived with Twi for years, but that doesn't make her my mom. More like a big sister."

"And why would that make me Scootaloo's sister-in-law? If Twilight and I were married, that would either mean we were sisters already, or we'd both be Scootaloo's parents."

"I don't know. I don't understand anything in this story. Thank goodness it's over now."

"Not yet. There's a few more chapters."

"Yes, but I'm going to lobotomize myself before reading them."

"Uh, Twilight, maybe you should go lie down."

"You think I'd actually do it?"

"...Yeah, kind of."

"...Alright, fine. I'll just go study or something. Maybe I can reduce the damage to my IQ. What about you, Rainbow?"

"Oh, I promised Scoots we'd go get some ice cream or something. We'll catch ya later, okay?"

"Sure. Come by tomorrow and we'll all read the next chapter. In a weird way it was actually kinda fun."

"Yeah...It was, actually. Okay, cool, I'll see you then. C'mon Scoots, let's go."