Applejack’s cart jerked as Big Mac ran right into it. “Sorry, but I’ve got to go back and check on Applebloom.”
“Ee-nope,” Big Mac said, giving her an eye.
“Just once! Then I’ll deliver the pies.” Applejack shifted back and forth nervously, as Big Macintosh kept staring at her. “I’m not scared of the fire swamp. I’m ready this time. I made a list and everything. I’m not scared.”
“Ee-yup,” Big Mac said, rolling the cart around her.
Applejack glowered, and followed after him. “I’ll show you. I’ll deliver these pies in record time!”
===
Back on the farm, Applebloom was happily dancing on the table when she noticed something strange – the list of chores she’d just checked off had even more chores on the back! She groaned, but hopped down carefully to check what they were – she wasn’t going to lose her home alone privileges just because Applejack had been silly enough to write on both sides of the list. What kind of darn fool wrote on both sides of a scroll?
“What the hay? These chores make no sense. I don’t know how to fireproof a set of boots, and the others aren’t even chores. Lion taming chair? We ain’t got any lions. Snake charming flute? Maybe I’m supposed to pick these up at the store?”
She thought that they already had all that stuff, though, so she headed to the storage shed to double check, and sure enough – there they were. The old lion taming chair she’d used for her crusade, a weird flute that must be meant for charming snakes, and even a set of weirder looking black boots that might have even been fireproofed already.
“Yeah,” she said, checking off each item as she located them. “I thought so.” Before long, she was done with the flipside as well, made easier by her not having to do anything, and settled down for a nice long day of doing whatever the hay she wanted, with no sister looking over her to get in the way.
===
Late that night, Big Mac and Granny Smith returned to find the farm a complete disaster area. The fireproof boots had given Applebloom and the other crusaders a whole bunch of new ideas for getting their cutie marks, all of which involved fire. Things had gotten a little out of hand, especially when they tried to work lion-taming into the mix.
“Wait just a darn second, l’il one,” Granny Smith said. “You said you had the fireproof boots and lion taming chair here the whole time? Weren’t Applejack supposed to have those for her trip through the fiiiire swamp?”
“Ee-yup,” Big Mac said.
“That silly filly, she forgot her supplies again. Ah well, I suppose there’s nothing for it now. She set out early enough that she shouldn’t have even seen the chimera.”
“What’s a chimera?” Scootaloo asked.
“Oh, let me tell you about the chimera,” Granny Smith said, settling back for a nice long story. “Nastiest creature you ever did see. Talk you half to death, it would, then do you in the rest of the way with its giant pointy teeth! Let me tell you…”
Once the crusaders woke up from their nap, all they remembered was that Applejack had left to face the evil chimera with none of her anti-chimera supplies – and it was nearly midnight, and she still hadn’t gotten back!
“We gotta go save my sister!” Applebloom said, picking up the lion taming chair in her teeth. “’ere uh ohly nns oo --”
“Yeah, I’m right there with you,” Scootaloo said, balancing the snake-charming flute between her wings. “And maybe we’ll even get our cutie marks!”
“Boots!” Sweetie Belle proclaimed happily, posing in the one-size-fits-all hoofware. “You know what they say, black is the new black.”
They put their hooves together, and gave a cheer – “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CHIMERA HUNTERS! YAY!”
===
“Here, Chimera chimera chimera,” Scootaloo said, looking this way and that in the dark, foggy swamp as she buzzed along on her scooter, her friends riding in the wagon behind her. “Come on out where we can tame you, unless you’re chicken!”
“Oooh, look what we have here, sisters,” said a creepy voice, as a dark shape obligingly emerged from the shadows, flames shooting up around it dramatically as it approached. “Three little fillies, for a late-night snack!”
“What did you do with Applejack!” Applebloom demanded.
“We only do one thing with the ponies we catch in the swamp,” the tiger-head said. “The same thing we’re going to do with you.”
“But don’t worry,” the goat head said. “It’ll all be over soon.”
“So…” Sweetie Belle said, “Shouldn’t you have pounced us by now?”
“I know. I’m getting seriously bored here,” Scootaloo complained.
“Oh, we’re going to pounce you all right,” the snake head said, weaving back and forth. “We’re going to pounce you so hard that you’ll stay pounced for a long, long time.”
“For the rest of your life!” the tiger head said, and then the chimera gave a weird little lurch. “Um, that was the cue to pounce. It doesn’t work unless we all do it together.”
“Well, how was I supposed to know that was the cue?” the goat head whined.
“Just do it on three,” the snake said. “One… two… three—“ the chimera jerked and fell over on its side, then after a second two of its legs kicked randomly in the air.
“So, is it one-two-three-go, or one-two-go on three?” the goat head asked.
“Nevermind that, come on, we need to stand up,” the snake said. “Tiger, you bend your hind leg down... and…”
Scootaloo, losing her patience, started playing the flute, and after a few seconds the monster’s snake-tail fell asleep and lay limp on the ground. Applebloom picked up the lion taming chair and poked halfheartedly at the struggling monster as it lay on its side.
“Ow! Stop that!” the tiger whined, while the goat made ‘baaa’ noises and rolled her eyes around wildly.
“You know, girls, I don’t think this chimera ate Applejack,” Sweetie Belle said. “Maybe we should just go.”
===
They found Applejack’s cart in the village, empty of all its pies, but full of bits in the bit box. There was no sign of Applejack, though, and it was three in the morning so nopony was up.
“Applejack, are you here?” Applebloom shouted.
“Hey, Applejack!” Scootaloo chimed in.
“Maybe we should be quiet, I think everypony’s asleep,” Sweetie Belle whispered.
“AAPPLEJAAAACK!” Applebloom screamed louder than ever.
That did the trick. A familiar orange-coated pony with apples on her flanks popped out of a hut, her hair and tail all mussed and without their normal ribbons. “Applebloom? Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle?” she asked, looking around at the Crusaders, confused-like. “What in tarnation are you three doing here?”
“We brought you your chimera-taming supplies,” Applebloom said.
“We actually thought we’d be rescuing you from the chimera,” Sweetie Belle said. “It’s good to see that you’re okay!”
“Yeah, that chimera was a huge disappointment,” Scootaloo said, rolling her eyes. “I’m glad I didn’t get my cutie mark for taming it.” She paused, horrified at a thought, and looked at her flank – which was, fortunately, still blank. “Oh thank Celestia.”
“Ah, thanks a heap, sugarcubes, but I noticed I’d forgotten my supplies when I got here. The chimera only comes out at night, so I’d only need them for the return trip. Sorry to worry y’all; I was gonna head back in the morning.”
“Eeeyup,” said a strange voice from the hut, and a scraggly, green-maned stallion emerged. “Since she was stranded here and all, I said she could sleep with me.”
Applejack looked at him in horror.
“In my hut, I mean,” he said, grinning a buck-toothed grin.
“Well, of course.” Sweetie Belle said, innocently. “What else would you mean?”
===
In the morning, they headed home. There was no sign of the chimera, and the fire swamp was quiet during the day, so they had no trouble retracing their route without incident. As they approached Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack grinned at the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and said, “I hope you three learned a valuable lesson from all this.”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo said. “If an evil wizard offers to turn us into a three-headed monster, we should definitely say no.”
