Barb is Dusk Shine's Waifu!

by trahzo

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity, Romance, Spike
Length: 1675

After getting her heartbroken by Elusive, Barb convinces herself that she's been Dusk Shine's waifu this whole time!

Elusive has rejected Barb which causes her to be convinced that she's actually been Dusk's waifu all along. Now Dusk has half hatred & gratitude for what his friend Elusive has done. Because come-on, every nerd wants a waifu. No not a wife, a waifu. You hear me yah fu?

Published 2014-03-12 03:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-12 03:00:07 UTC

Ch.1: An Insane Epiphany.

"I must apologize, but I must say no!" Elusive said her.

"Wha..."

"Yes, you are much too young for me! Please do not waste your adolescence on pursuing someone who is much too old for you."

Barb just collapsed as Elusive closed his door. She couldn't believe it, after all of her hard work, nothing to show for it. She just couldn't comprehend it! She picked herself up, wiped the dirt off her jeans, and ran sobbing with closed eyes!

"(THAT'S IT! FOR NOW ON I NEVER WANT TO TALK TO ELUSIVE EVER AGAIN!)" She thought to herself. Barb made it to the library somehow even though she had her eyes closed the whole time. Think of it like how classic Naruto walks around Konoha sometimes with his eyes closed.

"Hey Barb, you okay? Why a..."

"Sorry Dusk, but I don't wanna talk right now! Here, have the chocolates & burn the flowers! I'm going to bed early! GRAAAAAAAH!!!"

"Oh Barb." Dusk Shine said to himself, he looked at the gifts Barb was originally going to give to Elusive. "(Elusive, I thought you & Barb were friends, how could you reject her so harshly? I better...no, I shouldn't talk to an angry dragon who just got her feelings crushed, I don't wanna get burned to a crisp! You know, I should stop studying, it's already been some night.)" He then went to the living room.
"Owletta, find a vase for these please."

Then he just laid down on his couch. "Well, Barb did give you these Dusk, shouldn't let them go to waste."

Meanwhile in the bedroom...

Barb was very sad, only 1% close to suicide! She thought about everything that has happened in her life since she met Elusive, Barb then thought about her other friends, wondering if she should straight up leave! But when she thought about Dusk again, she thought about all of those times She had with Dusk Shine. After remembering everything, she came to a realisation.

"I am Dusk Shine's waifu!"

I was actually thinking the guy who voiced the english dubbed Sasuke Uchiha also voices Ben Tennyson, but yeah we can go with that as well. As Barb said, she realised she is Dusk's waifu. She would do many things a housewife would do, except the you know romantic stuff. But yeah, that's her paranoid theory about her life, yep that guy from the cartoon Brickleberry was right. Adopted children are just homeless kids people raise so they can bang them one day. *Face palm.*

Ch.2: Barb is My Waifu

Dusk laid there on his couch with chocolate all around his wide open mouth with his tongue sticking out. The heart shaped box in the trash next to the couch, but strangely wasn't there in the 1st place, It looks like he even uses magic in his sleep. Wouldn't Prince Solaris & Gleaming Shield be proud of much of a prince he is. His leg & arm dangling as well, complete with a messy mane & medium sounding snore which was eventually interrupted by the smell of pancakes causing him to wake-up.

"Mmm, Smells like Blueberry Pancakes. Barb must have cheered-up over night, good for her, *Sigh!* And I am now talking to myself."

Dusk got up and made his way for the dining room.

"Goodmor...Good golly almighty."

"Oh, good morning Dusk, didctha sleep well?" Barb asked while not looking at him, being focused on cooking.

Barb was wearing nothing but an apron. Yeah, not even lingere.

"Calm down Dusk, this is probably her just trying to be a Trollaris Jr." He mumbled to himself.

"What was that dear?" Barb then turned to reveal the front, with the words Hump the Cook written on her apron, which were covering her D-cups. Dusk was starting to become a Dusk Stone down there. "Oh don't worry, I'll take care of your Dusk Stone after breakfast."

"(Don't you dare bleed nostrils! Oh great, now I'm talking to myself in my mind!) Oh, t-that wont be necessary!"

"Don't be silly hubby, I'm your waifu, so we can do sexual things like that to eachother."

"We're not married!"

"Not according to daddy Solaris & your parents desperately wanting the both of us to marry each other. I got their agreement contract right here." Then she pulled the paper out from between her bust and handed it to Dusk. "I had it arranged last night."

"H-how'd you convince our parents to agree to this?"

"The 3 of them always thought we should be together, plus your parents really want you to have Grandkids especially from you!"

But we..."

"Also, if you're going to say that we're related because of Bolero being your in-law & my cousin, then it seems somepony is forgetting I'm adopted. So take that, and this!" *Smooch!* "Besides I was already your waifu before the arrangement."

"What?"

"Yeah, while you go out with your friends, I'm fulfilling my duties as a stereotypical wife."

Dusk then rewinded all of the times that happened and you know what?

"Wow Barb, you are my waifu."

"Yup, now finish your pancakes before they get cold."

Dusk Shine was just accepting what's happened, because he's a one of those shy anime main characters who gets a boobyliscious & cute girl. Dusk couldn't look at Barb the same way again. But then he thought that Elusive was to blame, so the next time he see's that jerk of a friend of his, he would break his nose after shaking his hand.

"(So, I'm now going to live the life as a tied down man now, interesting, I wonder what our kids would look like.)" Yeah, and I wonder why I aint the Pokemon King! Oh, sorry, my petty bursts of rage. So Dusk just finished is pancakes in one hand, while he held Barb with his free arm. "These are real good, but hey, that shouldn't be surprising coming from my wife!"

"Hmph, that was so corny, but those are one of the things that make you adorkable."

Ch.3: Elusive, Apologize!

*snore*...huh? Oh sorry, some idiot thought they could make me stop reading with a knockout dart for a whale. So Elusive was sewing his clothes for the clients in San Giraffesisco, then Rainbow Blitz kicked the door open!

"Thanks, now leave the rest to me."

"Such a nerd to have his strong friend kick the door down for him.)" He thought

"I'm not a nerd, and I can read your mind!"

"(Nerd!)"

"Dusk Shine? What id the meaning of this?"

"Shut your trap you handsome jerk! Not only did you break Barb's heart, but you also broke her mind!"

"Broke her mind?"

"Yes, thanks to you, she's now convinced that she & I are married. I'm not mad at that, but I am mad at you for breaking her, you troglodyte!"

" *GASP!* How dare you call me a cave man, I am a refined gentleman who told Barb the appropriate amount of the truth!"

"Yeah, but you didn't care enough to account for her crying!"

"She cried? I thought she was stronger than that!"

"Even tough people cry! You should've done something nice for her after saying no."

"Wait, wait, wait, Barb thinks she's your wife now?" asked Rainbow Blitz who was very confused and lost after Dusk said Troglodyte.

"Yes, even though I'm happy with being tied down, I cannot let you leave without making up with Barb! Blitz, let's give Elusive the blind sight blitz!"

"Oh yeah!"

Then they attack Elusive causing him to be knocked out.

30 minutes later...

"Ohoho, what happened?"

*BACKHAND!*

"Ow!"

"Hello Elusive."

"Dusk, what the Tartaros are you doing?"

"I told you, you are gonna make amends with the flower you hurt! Oh Baaaarb!"

"Coming honey, I just finished cleaning Owletta's traveling cage."

"Are you 2 planning on going somewhere?"

"Yeah, we're going to give Owletta a head start on migrating, by taking her to the...Don't change the subject here!"

"Do you have a guest ov...Hmph! Dusk what is that reprobate doing here? And why is he tied up?" Barb said, with her arms crossed and back turned.

"I am not a reject!"

"Dusk, could you tell that scoundrel that he should shut his rat trap!"

"I am not a rogue!"

"Barb, he's here to tell you how much he's sorry! Aren't you Elusive!"

"Yes! oh Barb, I can't believe you cried after my rejection, I thought you were tougher than that, well I'm sorry for what I did, you are a great woman, and I guess Dusk is very lucky to have someone like you. You are truly a rarity of a person, now can we please still be friends?"

"..."

"Barb, do you have anything to say?"

Barb turned, walking closer & closer to Elusive, with her baring claws.

"Oh Solaris it's over!"

"Whoa, Barb, he apologized, uh, as your husbando, I command you to stop!"

"Can't you use a spell? No wait, it's that one day of the year when all unicorns lose their magical ability for 24 hours. Drat!"

"Well, it's been nice knowing yah buddy."

Then Barb double slashed, cutting the rope.

"Huh?"

"I forgive you Elusive, and Dusk, really? As your husbando, I command you to stop? It only works with waifu, so please just say Husband next time." *smooch!*

"Heh, okay."

Then she hugged Elusive & Dusk.

"Well, now that we've made amends, how's about I throw you 2 a proper wedding after I'm done with my work?"

"Why that would be splendid, do you agree Barb?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well then it's settled. Barb, let's go write invites."

"Yeah, and we can all agree to not invite Sugar & Spice!"

"Of course! Let's also invite that very buff mare to pound on them so they don't crash the wedding."

"Oh, this is going to be fun."

So in about a month & a half, they were given a proper wedding, then went to the Bahoofas for their honeymoon. As husband & Waifu.

THE END