Warcraft is Magic

        After the makeout session between Badger and some cobblestone we ventured inside the armory; there was a dark gray unicorn working on some spears near the rear of the building other armor and weapons hung on hooks from the ceiling.

        “Hello” I called out trying to get the smith’s attention.

        The pony jerked his head towards me. “One minute,” he called before taking the spear head and dipping it in water.  The unicorn brought out the cooling tip and set it on an anvil before walking up to us.  “So what can I do ya for?”

        “Well, I'd like to purchase some armor.”

        “Thats a given, son,” the smith’s horn started glowing and my armor floated off of me.  “Come back in an hour,” he said gruffly as he looked over the gear he now had.

        Not wanting to disturb him, I tapped Badger on the shoulder and we left the shop.  “So Badger what do you wanna do for an hour?”

        “Tell you what, big guy, let’s go get somethin’ to eat, and talk about our greatest accomplishments. Nothing like a little friendly competition?”

        “I like it.” I pulled out my spellbook, looking for the Mechano Hog spell, when Badger started shouting at me.

        “NO. FUCK THAT! I’ll meet you...” he poked his claw at my map, “There. All you can eat.”

        “Fine, last one there pays for it!” (Sandstone) I shifted into my drake form and shot off into the sky towards the all you can eat buffet.

        I saw a shadow fly above me and heard badger shout something along the lines of “You’re on,” with a somewhat maniacal laughter.  I beat my wings hard several times to gain altitude so that I could fly over the buildings. The cityscape opened up in front of me as I cleared several tall buildings; to my surprise there were no pegasi guards patrolling the sky.  I looked down and saw Badger zooming through the streets like a crazed Kodo.  He was slowly pulling ahead of me so I did the only thing I could think of: I cheated. I pulled out my backpack and snagged a Potion of Speed, which I tossed it into my mouth, glass and all, and swallowed.  The potion took effect and I shot through the sky like a rocket.

        At the same time, however, Badger had flown behind me and was quickly gaining speed.  Right before we had reached the restaurant he grabbed my tail and pulled me back.  We were beak and snout as we crossed the imaginary finish line that was the curb of the restaurant.

        “That was awesome!”

        Aside for a few shaken patrons the arrival of a dragon and a hippogryph was met with surprisingly little running and screaming.  It was an open air restaurant with a sign that said ‘Seat Yourself’, so we did.  A young looking white unicorn timidly floated over some menus before scampering off.  “So Badger, what is your greatest exploit?” I asked while picking up my menu.

        “My greatest? Or do you want to do milestones and then our greatest?”

        “Greatest, then Milestones.”

        “Okkay.. lets see...After killing a black dragon the size of the building I grew up in, I gained a girlfriend, and a job to kill an entire Diamond Dog camp on my own. I snuck in, and killed all of them in their sleep, save for the alpha. Then, Rage came along and showed me I could breathe fire.”

        “I killed a god, the king of the undead, and Death.”

        “Bitch please, I killed a dragon with a weapon that wasn’t mine” (He grins to you) “And I take orders directly from two goddesses themselves.

        “I can't die.”

        He spit out the drink he ordered loudly. “Wait what?”

        “Yup. I can't die. I can be killed, but I will pop back up in a minute or two, it sucks because sometimes I have to collect my body parts. Oh, and this one time my legs got eaten by a wolf, not a pretty sight.”

“I think you’re lying. And my bullshit meter agrees."

“Fine, I will prove it to you but keep the street clear, I don't want to land on somepony.” I walked into the street with Badger intow and opened my spell book; I selected my Pink Love Rocket mount (it's the only one I have that is not an animal that happens to be sentient here.) At the sight of a giant pink tube appearing, Badger lost it and started laughing his ass off.

“Dude! Hahaha, what the hell is that?””

“Well considering most of the other things I can ride have rights here, I thought it best not to summon a gryphon, pegasi or a hippogryph and start riding it.  But, if you want, I have 50 other animals I can choose from.”

Badgers ears shot up and he cocked his head looking at me. “You have mounts like us?”

        “Well yes, but as I said, I'd rather not be seen riding around on something that looks like the locals.”  I got on the Pink Love Rocket and flew off into the sky.

“You ain’t got the balls to jump!!” he yelled after me as he started to shoo the ponies away.

After reaching about 100 feet, I dismissed my mount and plummeted to the ground.

“Ohhhh shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit ...”

As I relaxed in the flowing air waiting for my inevitable spat, I heard screaming and decided to do something stupid. “CANNON BALL”.  I saw the ground rush up to meet me and splat.

(Badgers Perspective)

Needless to say I cringed a bit from the resounding splat and spray of blood and such. I didn’t think he was going to actually do it! Oh great Celestia, I am sooo screwed. I made my way, carefully; surprisingly, there was almost no blood, save for a little coming out of his mouth. I softly poked his arm, seeing if he was still alive and-POP! His head literally popped off. CLEANSE IT WITH FIRE!!

~RAGE WAKE UP~

[*snore*]

~Yeah, screw you too..~

I made my way back to the chair inside and drank my drink, trying to ignore the body in the middle of the street, and the fact everyone was staring at me and the body outside. There was some sort of commotion from the onlookers, and I looked back to the body. Only to see his blood start to flowing to his body. The hell.... Slowly his head made its way to the body, almost like metal would to a magnet. They attached themselves over the span of a single minute.

(Azok Perspective)

Being dead isn't so bad. As soon as my body dies, I get turned into a ghost, so I was somewhat around to see Badger freak out over my corpse.  As soon as my body had finished repairing itself, I felt my spectral from being pulled back into it.  Ghost back in body and I shot straight up and cracked my neck. “See? I told you,” I said while standing up and walking back into the restaurant.  His eye twitched, almost uncontrollably.

“WHAT THE FUUCKK?!?!”

“Well you weren't impressed by me killing a god and death so I decide to do something you literally can't top.”

“I...Uh....huh... I am, for the first time in a long time...Without words...”

“So now that we're past the hole immortality thing, what do you wanna talk about?”

“I have no idea.. I just want to sit down and hide under a rock for a while.. Also, you should see the Princess about that.. She could probably do something so the rest of us have that.. Save a couple hundred lives...”

“I already gave this speech to another little pony that wanted it and I will give the same to you.  If you try to reproduce this power in any way, I will end you.”

“Understandable.. Don’t want it getting into the wrong hands”

        “Exactly. Me and Vinny will take this knowledge to our graves.  Now aren't we going to talk about milestones?”

        Badger and I spent the rest of the hour talking about the achievements that made us who we were today. We each paid for our own meals and decided to walk back to the Armor Shop so we could take in the sights of Canterlot.

        We arrived back at the shop after a twenty minute walk to find the smith finishing up the helmet of my armor set.  The armor looked similar to my old armor, except for the fact that it was now black with red runes scribbled on the shoulders, chest, and belt.  “Holy me, this looks awesome!” I almost giggled as I skipped towards the new armor.  I was held back by a the Smith.

        “That’ll be 250 gold pieces,” he barked at me.

        “Sorry, I don't have any gold pieces, but I have this.” I dug in my bag until I found what I was looking for, “Will this cover it?” I smiled as I dumped out two golden ingots.

        The smith picked one of the ingots up with his magic and bit into it. “Ya this will do, have a nice day. As quick as I could, I put on all the new armor and set it to a armor change spell.

        Now that I had some new armor, I decided to ask Badger something. “Hey Badger, you want some kind of a weapon or armor or something?”

“Na, Im getting some claws and a sword made from that dragon I killed.” Badger puffed up his chest again trying to act tough it was kinda cute.

“Well I got my armor, and you're getting some dragon body parts turned into weapons so what do you wanna do now?”

        We decided to walk around the city some more until we got back onto one of the main streets and saw something that, to this day, I still can't explain.  The ground had turned into soap, the trees were all upside down, and it was raining chocolate milk from pink clouds.

“This isn't normal is it?” I asked

        “Nope.”

“Think we should go see Celestia?”

        “Eeyup.”