It's a Blue(blood) World
Scipio Smith
Prologue: Shame and Love
Prince Blueblood, nephew to Princess Celestia, wealthy and glamorous playcolt, darling of the Canterlot social scene and most eligible bachelor in all of Equestria, no matter what City Life magazine said, stood in front of the door to this special train carriage as the train itself rumbled into Ponyville.
This was a grand day, a momentous occasion. For the sake of Equestria he had ventured beyond his usual haunts to undertake a mission of vital importance to the country. He had come to win Princess Twilight Sparkle for his bride, to take her away from this drab and unprepossessing place and show her the city life and, incidentally, save her from all those terribly dressed foreign suitors making their way from Zebrica and the Broken Kingdoms to win her hoof. But he, Blueblood the Magnificent, would get their first. He would take Equestria's newest princess to be his wife, and nopony would ever mock him again. His pre-eminence would be secure in his lifetime, not even his father could have found anything to complain about in this.
As the train stopped, Blueblood's valet, Buttoned Up, leaned inwards to whisper in his ear. "Good luck go with you, sire. I hope that this is a triumph rich enough for us all to share in."
"You will not find me ungrateful," Blueblood replied airily, as Buttoned Up pinned a rose in his jacket lapel. "I've always treated you generously in the past, haven't I?"
Buttoned Up smiled in a serpentine manner. He was a brown unicorn. with a light blond mane and the cutie mark of a bath sponge. He bowed his head. "Indeed, sire. I have always regarded you...generosity, as the most admirable of your virtues."
The train came to a complete stop. Buttoned Up retreated to join the rest of Blueblood's devoted flunkies, just out of sight in the special carriage that the prince had commandeered for the purposes of this trip. If he was going to come to this backwater the least he could do was travel in style, after all.
The door opened, and Blueblood beheld his future bride. It was rather a pity she was such a plain creature, in ordinary circumstances he would have found her quite undeserving of that silver gown she wore, which frankly deserved to adorn a more beautiful mare. But this was the princess, for better or worse, and Auntie Celestia was pleased to dote upon her for reasons that passed understanding, and so she was the mare Blueblood would have to wed if he was to preserve...ahem, enhance his reputation amongst the Canterlot elite.
Still, at least her lack of looks would make his task easier. She could not have been flattered by a great deal of attention from stallions, surely she would leap at the chance to marry the handsome, wealthy, charming and celebrated Prince Blueblood? For did not everypony who knew him come to love him?
I am the prince. She will love me. I deserve to be loved.
Blueblood stepped off the train, using a touch of magic to make himself appear to quite literally sparkle with handsomeness.
"Well met, my love," he said in his most suave and charming voice. "How now?"
"How now in love when we've just met?" Twilight replied.
Blueblood paused. Usually ponies didn't actually answer him when he said inane things like that. They just giggled in a way that indicated their availability for a wild night. This was awkward. He flashed his most brilliant and charming smile at her, that always had the mares upon their knees.
Twilight didn't react.
Blueblood's mind whirred with panic. Nopony had ever resisted his smile before! It was his best feature! He had determined on the way to say as little as possible and let his good looks speak for him, there had been a few embarrassing incidents lately where he had put his hoof in his mouth, and he tended to come across better when he didn't speak, but that plan only worked if the mare in question played along with it. She wasn't playing along! At this rate he might actually have to hold a conversation with her! Desperate, Blueblood wagged his eyebrows at Twilight suggestively. That was usually a gambit he reserved for later in the proceedings, a way of indicating that the mare in question should get in his carriage and come back to his place, but Twilight Sparkle wasn't giving him a lot of options.
Twilight still didn't react.
A drop of sweat rolled down Blueblood's face. He flicked his mane back, his horn glowing slightly as the amount of sparkle hovering around him seem to quadruple and the movement of his mane appeared to enter slow motion.
Twilight looked at him the way Auntie Celestia sometimes did when he tried to explain to her that socialite was too a perfectly valid life choice. "Are you okay?"
Blueblood looked momentarily crestfallen. Clearly he would have to open his mouth, since the princess was blind to the beauty of the stallion form. Now, what were some of his better lines? Ah, yes, that one. In a romantic tone, Blueblood proclaimed, "I'm better than fine, now that I'm with you, darling."
Twilight laughed nervously. "Well, okay then. That's good to hear. Um, uh, so, do you want to go somewhere."
"Indeed. Let us take a promenade around this quaint little town. It'll be an opportunity for you to say goodbye," Blueblood said, showing that he could indeed be a gentlecolt when he wished to be. In fact, he thought he was being jolly decent by not simply bundling her on to his train and taking her back to Canterlot right there and then. She would have been upset at first, but soon she would have learned to appreciate her good fortune.
He didn't wait for Twilight to answer, leading the way down what looked to be the main street of this small and shabby place. Twilight Sparkle followed him, hah, he knew she couldn't resist his magnetism for long. Nopony could. Didn't they all tell him in Canterlot how handsome he was, how noble? Didn't they all clamour for the pleasure of his company? Wasn't a photograph of him what all the press desired?
As they walked, ponies on the street stopped to stare. Blueblood waved casually at them with one languid hoof, pleased that they all recognised what a momentous occasion it was to have somepony of his calibre visit their little town. Why, they would probably tell their grandchildren of the day they saw Prince Blueblood.
You see, father? You see how they adore me? And you said that affection had no value.
He decided it was probably time he said something else. Hmm, what could he talk about? Ah, yes, perfect...
"I was thinking that fame could be the theme for our wedding," Blueblood drawled. "Gold and platinum would be the primary colours, gold trim on the wedding dress, platinum decorations, golden flowers. And of course, our guest would reflect the theme as well: only the most well-known and stylish members of Canterlot society would be invited, very exclusive. I have contacts in the music industry that could get us the very best performers for the reception, and I know the owners of some excellent restaurants who would be happy to cater. Truly, it will be the social event of the season. The paparazzi will have a field day and anypony who is not invited will be in despair. Doesn't that sound marvellous?"
"Our wedding?" Twilight asked. "You haven't even asked me to marry you yet."
Blueblood was a little amazed that she would say such a thing? Aunt Celestia had told him that she would write to precious Twilight and let her know that he was coming. He looked affronted. "Isn't it obvious? Why else would I come out to this crude, provincial backwater except to take your hoof in marriage?"
"That doesn't mean you can just take it for granted," Twilight replied, raising her voice a little. "That's like buying a lot of Hearth's Warming presents and then saying that means you don't have to give them out."
Blueblood frowned. He hadn't expected that she would turn out to be one of those mares. "Do you want me to give you a present, my dear?"
"No, I don't want you to buy me a present, I want you to not take me for granted," Twilight shouted. "And my name is Twilight Sparkle!"
Blueblood cringed before her. What was she getting so angry about? No other mare complained about what he called them, what gave her the right to be so picky? "Please, Twilight Sparkle, if I've offended you I'm so sorry. Surely you can see the advantages a marriage between us would bring?" He recovered his usual self-assurance. "I am, after all, one of the most famous stallions in Canterlot. City Life's Most Eligible Bachelor three years running, declared Equestria's Most Stylish Stallion by Mode magazine five years running. For six years running I was voted winner of the Most Charming Smile award by the readers of Mare's Weekly. And, of course, you are not without a few accomplishments of your own. A marriage would allow us to combinue our glamour and share our glories. And of course, through me you would gain entry into the very highest tiers of Canterlot society. And be able to associate yourself with the very best people."
There, if that didn't sell her on him, nothing would. How could anypony resist such a sales pitch?
Twilight's posture was regal and her tone was prim as she replied, "Personally, I am of the opinion that the very best people in all of Equestria are to be found here."
Blueblood laughed. "You only say that because you don't understand what you're saying. One week in Canterlot will cure you of all such delusions."
"Trust me, I understand exactly what I'm saying," Twilight said. She sighed. "Could we please talk about something else. Something besides you?"
Blueblood hesitated. He had never been very good at small talk. His father had always said that ponies who spent all their time chit-chatting would never amount to anything and that as a skill it was not only over-rated but downright harmful. Why would she want to waste time flapping their lips over nothing? What did she expect him to say? A lot of weather we've been having lately? "I'm having trouble thinking..."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Perhaps you should consider moving here. It might do you good to get away from Canterlot and everypony fawning on you."
"Oh, now you sound like Aunt Celestia," Blueblood groused. "You simply don't understand that if one isn't the centre of attention then life simply isn't worth living." What did they want, for him to live in a cold house all alone with only the mockery inside his head for company? To sleep alone in the dark of the night with his fears pressing in on him? Didn't they understand how the love of society was all that enabled him to rise each day and face the dawn?
And then this troubles really started.
"Twilight! Fancy running into you like this! Oh, do forgive me, I had no idea you were with a- why, Prince Blueblood, I had no idea you were in Ponyville."
Blueblood's eyes widened as That Mare emerged from out of a dark and filthy side alley and advanced upon him like a predator.
That Mare. His own personal nemesis. The pony who had humiliated him at the Grand Galloping Gala, and started his slide down to this present pass. The mare who had sent him dodging for cover and avoiding his beloved engagements when she briefly lied her way to the centre of the social scene. The mare he had most feared to encounter upon his return here. His legs had gone cold, his eyes had gone wide. Blueblood felt his breath catching in his throat.
That Mare smirked at his discomfiture. "You must remember me, Your Highness, we met at the Grand Galloping Gala, if you recall. You left quite an impression on me."
Blueblood cleared his throat. He had prepared for this, he had a plan. "As did you, madam."
"Oh, really?"
Blueblood smiled slyly. Time to turn the tables on her. "Indeed. When we met you had clearly been partying hard already, swaying on your hooves and slurring your speech. You threw yourself upon me in a manner most undignified, embarrassed yourself completely by your conduct and forced your attentions on me. It was only the fact that I am a perfect gentlecolt that prevented me taking advantage of the situation." He allowed himself a mental pat on the back as he waited for her to be discomfited into flight.
Unfortunately, she reacted by becoming furious instead. "Well I never! Of all the barefaced lies I have ever heard that is by far the most audacious! You know perfectly well what happened that night!"
"And so do I," Twilight declared. "And I am afraid I could never marry a stallion who was dishonest on top of being self-absorbed and snobbish. I am sorry, Prince Blueblood, but I am afraid you have wasted your journey here. I have no intention of accepting the proposal you did not make."
"What?" Blueblood shrieked, stamping his hoof on the ground like a petulant child. "No! No, this is wrong, this is not how it's supposed to go. I am the prince, the prince! I'm the darling of Canterlot, the most eligible bachelor, everypony is supposed to look at me! Every mare should want to be my wife! Everypony should care what I think! But now there's Princess Cadence, and now you! Do you know that I was only ranked second most eligible bachelor this year? Do you know why? Because City Life said that 'as princesses proliferate, Celestia's distant cousin Prince Blueblood becomes an increasingly irrelevant and lightweight figure."
"But you can make them love me again, respect me again. Please, I need to be loved, I deserve to be loved!"
"Perhaps you do," Twilight replied, and the pity in her voice was the worst thing of all. "But I do not love you."
***
"That was a catastrophe!" Blueblood shrieked as the train huffed and puffed its way back to Canterlot. "Not since the Gala have I been so humiliated! I feel as though I was run out of that measly town like a fugitive!"
Buttoned Up's face assumed a sympathetic expression. "Of course, your highness of course. You are upset. But the important thing is to-"
"Upset! I'm not upset I'm furious!" Blueblood snapped, making Buttoned Up recoil from him. "And it's all your fault! You are supposed to be my assistants! Well you weren't much assistance to me today, where you?"
"Your Highness-" Buttoned Up began, his voice silky, before Blueblood interrupted him.
"You're all fired! Once we get back to Canterlot you can all consider yourselves dismissed, and I can have some servants with competence!"
Buttoned Up froze. His mouth moved silently for a moment before he found his voice. "Fired? You mean you're dismissing me? You are firing me? Your Highness that that that...that's impossible! I have been your valet for several years, I have done very well off you, I mean for you. For you. You can't just get rid of me just like that! Who else will I ste- I mean, who else will I serve with as much pleasure as I have served you?"
"I don't know," Blueblood said airily. "It isn't my problem."
Buttoned Up laughed nervously. "I beg you, Your Highness, don't do anything rash. Have I not served you well and loyally? Haven't I been a good servant to Your Highness?"
"You haven't stopped my reputation from declining," Blueblood pointed out mulishly.
"That would have been beyond the wisdom of Celestia," Buttoned Up muttered.
"What?"
"I was simply suggesting that you might emulate Celestia's wisdom and deliberate upon your decision somewhat," Buttoned Up said.
"As far as I'm concerned there is nothing to discuss," Blueblood said coldly.
Buttoned Up was trembling, his head bowed, low sounds emitting from his throat while his whole body shook. He was probably afraid of being cast away from the sun around which he orbited. Well, he should have done a better job then, shouldn't he?
Blueblood sulked in the richly decorated executive carriage for the rest of the ride home, only perking up when the train returned to Canterlot and he could see a host of photographers anxiously awaiting his return.
Ah, yes, he was home. Home, to where he was loved and the affection of the people would make everything better.
I should never have left. I will solve all my problems here, in this city, where I belong.
As the train pulled in, the night was lit up by flashbulbs as the mass of photographers on the platform struggled to get pictures of him through the carriage window.
My city. My people. I'm home.
Blueblood emerged from the railway car, beaming to his adoring admirers. "Here I am! I have returned."
"Blueblood! Blueblood! Over here! Look this way!" the photographers clamoured, snapping away as they took picture after picture. Blueblood looked each lens in the eye, preened and pranced and strutted his stuff for the press, sparkled for them, dazzled them. Let Twilight Sparkle stay in Ponyville playing with mud pies, in this city he was still the talk of the town. And he would stay that way, he would make sure of it. Nopony was going to steal his love away from him.
"Outta my way, come one, make some room!" Carter, Blueblood's chauffeur, pushed his way through the crowd of eager paparazzi. He was a well built, moustachioed earth pony of a light blue, his colour complimenting his uniform rather well. "Your Highness, this way!"
Blueblood allowed his fans a few more photographs, then followed in Carter's wake like a duckling following its mother to where his splendid white carriage, liberally adorned with gold, awaited him. While Blueblood climbed inside, lounging upon the red velvet cushions, Carter fastened himself into the harness.
"Where too, Your Highness?" he asked, a bit of Manehattan twang in his accent. "Home?"
"Sweet Celestia, no," Blueblood drawled, putting on a pair of sunglasses that were almost as big as his head. "The night is still young, Carter, and I need to unwind after the ghastly day I've had. Take me...to the Blue Oyster."
The Blue Oyster was one of the most exclusive clubs in Canterlot. It was also one of the most sought after, and when Carter pulled up on the curb opposite the entrance there was already a queue down the street to get in. A pair of burly minotaur bouncers held the line of eager ponies at bay, admitting only the well dressed, the well known or those they had been instructed to admit.
"Come on, let me in!" one pony pleaded. "Strobe Light is expecting me, ugh!"
"If she were expecting you, you'd be inside," the bouncer retorted. He caught sight of Blueblood and shoved the crowd back a little to make a gap through which he could enter. "In you go, Your Highness, pleasure to see you again."
"The pleasure is all mine, Beefy," Blueblood drawled, tipping the minotaur a handsome ruby for this trouble.
"Hey! How come you're letting that bum cut the line! I've been standing here all night!"
"Yeah? Well I'll tell you what: when you're a prince and got gems like these to give out, I'll let you in the club, too!"
Blueblood walked through the door into the darkened club, the lights flickering blue and red, casting the ponies dancing on the floor in strange and eerie shades. But Blueblood made his way not to the dance floor but to the bar.
"What can I get for you, Your Highness?"
"Get me your best cocktail," Blueblood declared. He turned around and spread his forehooves wide. "And something for all my friends, on me!"
Everypony who was near enough to hear him cheered his pronouncement and rushed to the bar to collect the fruits of Blueblood's largesse before the staff forgot. A very pretty unicorn mare, with long, slender legs and a golden coat that contrasted with her shimmering silver dress, sidled up to him and leaned inwards against his shoulder. He could feel the warmth of her body even through his suit.
"You look upset," she whispered, her blue eyes sparkling in the lighting of the club. "Have you had a bad day, Your Highness?"
"Oh, awful," Blueblood said. He smiled dashingly. "But it's getting better now."
"Glad I could help," the mare said, her voice sultry and alluring. "Perhaps I could help you some more?"
Blueblood's smile widened. Yes, this was where he belonged. He didn't need Ponyville. He didn't need Princess Twilight Sparkle. He was surrounded by friends, courted by admirers, the envy of everypony in town.
All those spiteful journalists had been dead wrong about him. He wasn't irrelevant, he was loved.
***
Buttoned Up slammed the door behind him as he stomped into the hallway, the plates on the walls trembling before his advance.
"Is that you're catlike tread I hear, brother mine?" he heard Silky Steel calling out to him. "What's the matter? Did the prince ask you to change his nappy for him? Or did he vomit all over you because he was overtired?"
Buttoned Up was in even less mood for his sister's jibes than usual. He flung open the living room door and spied his sister sitting on the sofa, her aquamarine mane in curlers and her pale yellow coat swathed in a pink dressing down.
"His Highness," Buttoned Up growled. "Has dismissed me from service."
Silky Steel put down the magazine she was reading. "Has he now? Did he find out you've been stealing from him?"
"Of course not!" Buttoned Up snapped. "That idiot couldn't see what was right in front of his face any more than he could find his flank with all four hooves! He dismissed me because he was angry, so he threw his toys out of the pram and me along with them! Short sighted, idiotic, childish foal. After all I've done for him-"
"After all the money you've helped yourself too," Silky muttered.
"Shut up!" he snarled, baring his teeth at her as she began pacing up and down. "I am not in the mood for your tried japes! Insolent, ungrateful little...If I could put my hooves around his neck."
"Yes, I'm sure you'd do terrible things if there were no witnesses to see you do it," Silky Steel said, sounding bored of his raging before he had gotten so much as half-way through it. "But that would not advance us much, would it? The question is what are you actually going to do about this? Speaking for myself I've grown quite accustomed to our Blueblood-funded lifestyle."
"I suppose the question of you earning a living yourself is quite out of the question?"
"Are you suggesting that I'm some sort of layabout? Do you think the Boudoir edits itself?"
"It certainly doesn't sell itself," Buttoned Up muttered. "Twenty four issues and it hasn't broken even yet."
Silky Steel got up from the sofa. "Think beyond your anger," she whispered into his ear. "You were his valet for five years. Who knows more about his affairs than you?"
"Not him certainly," Buttoned Up replied. "That old fool of a butler might know something, not as much as me. The trustees, perhaps."
"But none of them could stop you undermining him, if you chose," his sister said, her voice sibilant as a snake. "You know where his money comes from, you know where his weaknesses are. Destroy him. Take him for everything he's worth."
Buttoned Up locked eyes with his sister. "You are a wicked mare."
"That's what stupid ponies always say about the clever, the truth is we're just smarter than them. The question is would you rather be wicked or stupid?"
"Wicked."
"Right answer," Silky sat down with a satisfied smirk. "And, while you work on bringing Prince Blueblood's financial empire crashing around his ears, it strikes me that a juicy article on all his dirty little secrets would be just the thing to boost the circulation of the Boudoirp."
Author's Note
This fic is a side-story to my SunLight fic How the Sunset Sparkles, although I think this can be read without any knowledge of the other. But you should check it out anyway, because it's my most popular fic.
Mass Effect 2 players will be able to spot a little shoutout outside the Blue Oyster club.
