Once apon a time in the magical land of Equestria...
I was born under the shady dark red moon of the last October of the second millenium after the Great Shit of Princess Luna's Banishment hit the fan. It is said that when I was born angels were jealous of my beauty.
My father was the king of all the lands of our kingdom from the Beyond. My mother was born of the Fairy of Wisdom and Beauty.
Every day I ware the most beautiful outfits the worlds have ever seen. My favourte is a incandesent red jacket that reaches down to my ankles and is decorated with signs of insignia. I take long walks at the penthouse beach where I am acoompanied by my faithful Jortföljitr (A/N: I got that name after I watched Thor!), my faithful companion ferral dire lionworf.
But one day I was walking down the beach and then I saw a great dark light appearing in the middle of the beach. It was great and dark and was everywhere but especially the middle where it was the greatest and darkest of all.
Oh faithful Jortfulljitar! I said!
Jortfalhitr looked at me with his great dark eyes and snuffled up to me in fear and comfort. And growled at the grat Black and Dark lgith. Jortfialjiral was a great and vicious beast I evaganlised in my head. But I must have said it out loud because behind me a mysterious voice said Thats indeed a great and vicious beast you have there.
It was Balthazar!
I had heard of Balthazar all this time but I had never met His! I wouldn't have dreamed to actually see that He existed in this dimension! My father is the king of all the realms and dimensions and he had known that Balthazar lived in one of his rears and but it was quite exciting.
But I cared for none of that. Because when I saw Balthazar, I was lost in his the radient orbs of his soul that was embedded deeply wthin his head.
After what seemed like ice-ages we were awoken from our mutational dream . Because.......!!
Eyjafjallajökul groelwd once more at the great black thing (it was sort of like a swirly thing, but sworly doesn't quite sound epic so i didn't describe it as swirly. But it knid of is)... and it rapped open!
From within the deepest and darkest eras of the realsm I saw forthcoming a beast of greatness. It's evilness was radiating from the skins of other beings that it wore and swirling around its head ( I think it was its head) came forth the souls of the beings that had suffered while it atea them.
I was flabbergasted. I reached out from my blue jacket and I held before more the AllDUst that my mother had enstruated to me so long ago. I held it before me and spoke the words in the ancient Furry Language that my mother had taught to me as her mother had taught it to her and hers mother had taught it to her after she had won those words from the Great Dragon JarriJalleJar!
JortFullJarriJalle was a great evil beast that had tomented the lands of my father and my father couln't do anything about it because he was yet still a small child of a boy (my father is really old you see, like the Doctor!)
Fortunately worked at a newspaper nowadays and he used the libaury of the newspaper to find out location of Discord's ruffians.
Their search led to a night club in the darkiest and stormiest part of Ponyville. I was a little hesitant to go. It was rather scary and it was dark and stomy in that secting of Ponyville. But the courage in me was greater than my fear because with Balthazar's badass I should be able to accomplish anything, right, I thought to myself.
And would join me.
So not to fall out of fashion we both donned their darkest clothing. I had to admit that looked kind of sexy in that outfit of his. But I didn't dare to comment on that.
I instead poured down my soul into my make-up. I bore incandesent magenta finger nails with black streaking fire and gave the same treatment. ravishing eyes met mine and for a moment we were both swimming in a pool made of a gorgeous combination of their eyes colours. It was romance we knew, but we didn't know whether it was a forbidden one or not!
Then we went off and defeated Discord.
So we defeated Discord and everyone was satisfied!
Discord said what do you mean, it's not over yet?! I'm invincible!
Balthazar said No No, back into your box!
Discord said Grrrr. You will never get me in my box. I am too large and too sexy!
Author: Ohh no, it looks like the characters still want a story!
I said of course we do! Or cake. I love cake!
Discord said Well I'm gonna steal your cake!
I said Noooo! Without cake I'll turn back to drink!
Discord said mhuahahaha, life isn't worht living without caaaaaaaaake, so just die already will you?!
Then I said I cant fault your logic :(, life isn't worth living without the awesomeness of cake. Farewell cruel world!
: chotto mate-ah!
Discord said huh ;^_^;
Balthazar said domo desu-ka @_@?
Then I said Caaaaaake, need cake. Like brains, but cake!
Well, I want you, how about that?
But Balthazar was all hot 'n that, I thought. So I pecked Balthazar on his cheek and winked longingly at him.
Author: well, looks like they'll be busy for a little while. Cake?.
Discord: Nooo the cake is a lie. Gimme it!
The end
In the ende, all learned that none could possibly stande before the migte of Balthazar. None can fite him, and all the mares love him. So should you!
And every1 have some cake!
