Three Questions

by Razalon The Lizardman

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other, Comedy, Random, Crossover
Length: 5624

A strange man guards the bridge leading to Everfree Castle, and he's got questions aplenty in store for all those who wish to cross.

Twilight's friends have been cordially invited to attend her housewarming party at Everfree Castle, to which they're all very excited. However, they're stopped by the bridge's new keeper, who won't let them pass unless they answer all of his questions correctly. Can the ponies do just that, or will they be subjected to eternal peril as a consequence for failing?

100% Approved by Twilight's Library

9/25/2015 - New edits made to adhere to fimfic's guidelines regarding original vs lifted content.

Published 2014-03-18 21:50:27 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-18 21:50:27 UTC

No llamas were harmed, utilized, or otherwise mentioned during the making of this story

Derpy flew at a steady pace up toward Rainbow Dash’s cloud mansion, intending to deliver a letter which had been described to her as 'of utmost importance'. And if there was one thing the clumsy mailmare was known for, it's that she took her job seriously and would see to it that the letter reached the hooves of Equestria's number one flyer without fail. She felt a strong sense of pride at having accomplished this once she landed at Rainbow's front doorstep and knocked on the door.

The cyan pegasus opened the door after a few moments and smiled. "Heya Derpy," she greeted the gray pegasus. "What's up?"

The mailmare showed her the envelope. "You've got a letter 'of utmost importance', Dash."

Rainbow grabbed the letter and tore it open. Her eyes scanned the contents for a few seconds before she let out a very girlish scream of joy and zoomed downwards towards Ponyville, letting the letter fall to her doorstep.

Derpy blinked in surprise, having been startled by Rainbow's very uncharacteristic behavior. Looking down at the letter with her good eye while the other wandered aimlessly, she read its contents for herself.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

You are cordially invited to my housewarming party at Everfree Castle. Now that I’m a princess, Celestia and Luna have decreed that all land the Everfree Forest encompasses is to be my domain. While this may seem pointless as nopony outside Zecora lives there, the very fact that she lives there nullifies that assessment. I have a subject! Isn’t it exciting!?

*cough* Yes well, anyway, I have a task for you to complete. I need you to gather all of our closest friends and inform them that they’re all invited too. You may be wondering why I didn’t send invitations to all of them. Well, the thing is, I kinda used all my parchment making the checklist for the party and only had enough left over for one invitation. Heh heh, oops.

Can’t wait to see you there.

Your friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle

Upon finishing reading the letter, Derpy raised a confused brow. "If Princess Twilight had to cough, why would she bother to write it out instead of just doing it?" she asked herself.

After a few moments of silent contemplation, Derpy shrugged and closed Rainbow's door for her before flying off to finish her rounds.

"Now Dennis," Fluttershy said to the respectively-named swallow, "you know coconuts can't grow here in a temperate climate."

The zebrican swallow looked downcast as he clutched the tropical fruit in his talons. Fluttershy smiled and used a hoof to lift his chin up. "It's okay, you can still keep it if you want. Maybe you can paint a funny face or something on it and give it to your children as a birthday present?"

Dennis' expression brightened and he chirped happily.

"Now, off you go," Fluttershy told him.

Dennis flew off into the Everfree Forest, easily grasping the coconut in his talons. Fluttershy watched him go and returned to watering her shrubbery, only to be interrupted by the growing cries of her chickens as they excitedly approached her from behind.

Fluttershy turned around just as the horde amassed around her. Within the crowd she spotted a rope-bound creature that, while its white coat and beak made it look like just another (albeit quite large) chicken, Fluttershy couldn't help but find it familiar-looking.

One of the chickens stepped forward and pointed to the enigmatic creature. "Might we sacrifice her to the almighty Lt. Gravels, Miss Fluttershy?" it asked.

Fluttershy took a good look at the creature. "Let me see her up close," she commanded.

The chickens complied and shoved the creature to the front of the crowd, all the while she struggled with her bonds.

"For the last time, I'm not a chicken!" she shouted in a voice Fluttershy instantly recognized.

"Scootaloo?" she said. Afforded with a closer look at the filly, she could see that her coat had been painted white and the beak was a strap-on. "Why are you dressed like a chicken?"

Unable to use her hooves, Scootaloo gestured to the chicken crowd with her head. "They did this to me."

Fluttershy turned and glared sharply at the chicken hoard, which wilted slightly under her gaze

"Well we did dress her up like this, but only for the ritual!" one of the chickens stated, to which the crowd collectively nodded in affirmation.

"What makes you think Scootaloo's a chicken?" Fluttershy asked, a curious brow raised.

"She tastes crispy and delicious!" one of the chickens in the back shouted.

Fluttershy's eyes bulged at that. "How would you know that!?"

". . . Because," it replied.

There was a momentary silence before the crowd erupted into a cacophony of cheerful bucaws. Fluttershy waited for it to settle down before speaking.

"You know, there are ways of telling whether she's a chicken."

The chickens all looked to one another in confusion before one in the front spoke up. "Are you going to lead us through the scientific method of determining the difference between a pony and a chicken, all the while encouraging us to figure out the answers on our own so we may learn it for later use?"

Fluttershy scoffed and waved a dismissive hoof. "Of course not; I'm going to do a simple forensic test."

The chickens applauded as Fluttershy reached out and plucked one of Scootaloo's feathers from her wings, eliciting a small yelp of pain from the flightless filly.

"Now then, to my lab," Fluttershy declared and began making way to the side of her house, to which the chickens followed with Scootaloo in tow.

Soon they came upon Fluttershy's enormous, costly, and ~~completely out of place~~ totally up-to-date outdoor forensic lab. Various machines, all buzzing and beeping and covered with electrical lights filled the yard. Politely shooing away a few curious critters, Fluttershy traversed the maze of machines until she came upon one in particular which sat up against the house. It consisted of a giant monitor on top, a control panel underneath, and a small chamber to the side. Opening the chamber with her hoof, Fluttershy placed the feather inside and shut it again.

The chickens watched as she trotted over to the control panel and pushed a series of buttons upon it, to which the chamber began emitting a humming noise as it analyzed the feather's genetic makeup. After a few moments, the monitor displayed the results.

Analyzing Ribonucleic Acid . . .

Results: K, L, C, U

Searching database . . .

Matching sequences found: 0

Similar sequences found: 2

#001 (pony): M, L, P, U
#597 (chicken): K, F, C, T

Yet another loud cheer erupted from the chicken hoard at the revelation that Scootaloo was a mutant. They began making way to the backyard where the sacrificial alter was located, all the while Fluttershy stared at the monitor wide-eyed in shock as it asked for a name to be given to the new entry.

A moment later a loud thud sounded behind her accompanied by a whoosh of air. Fluttershy yelped in response and quickly ducked down with her hooves covering her head.

"Please don't strike me down, Lt. Gravels!" she cried in fear.

"Um, what're you talking about?" asked a familiar voice.

"R-Rainbow?" Fluttershy stuttered. She turned around and peeked through her hooves, to which she saw the cyan pegasus staring down at her in confusion. Fluttershy immediately got up and recomposed herself. "What are you doing here?" she asked the speedster.

Rainbow's confusion evaporated and a happy grin spread across her muzzle. "Well, I'm here to tell you that us and the girls are invited to Twilight's housewarming party, and that Princess Bookworm ran out of parchment to send all of us invitations, so she asked me to fill everypony else in."

Fluttershy giggled. "I believe that."

"You'd better," Rainbow said with a laugh. "Now c'mon, let's go tell the others."

(And so, Rainbow informed Fluttershy of her invitation to Princess Twilight’s housewarming party, to which the rest of their friends were soon to follow:

The marshmallow, Rarity. :duck:

The tomcolt, Applejack. :applejackunsure:

The cutie, Pinkie Pie :pinkiesmile:, who is the bestest of the Mane 6, and should be revered by any and everypony in Equestria :pinkiehappy:, and totally isn’t holding the author at cannonpoint, forcing them to glorify her pinkieness in exchange for not firing. :pinkiecrazy:

And the always beloved, Sir Red-and-Black Alicorn OC. :heart:

Together, they began their journey toward Everfree Castle, where a night of laughing, games, and merriment would follow.)

"Thanks for the narration, Mr. Link," Pinkie said to the majestic moose standing aside the path on which the group of friends was traveling, a tablet-like device in his hoof.

"Always a pleasure, Miss Pinkie, and thanks for the hammerspace pocket," he replied. He then stowed his device in said hammerspace pocket before pulling out a torch and pitchfork. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to join my fellows in burning Mr. OC at the stake."

Pinkie watched with a smile as Mr. Link galloped off before she caught up with her friends. "You wanna know something, girls?" she asked them, to which they all turned around with attentive looks while they walked. "Despite being the go-to party planner for everypony, I'm glad Twilight's putting together her own housewarming party because, as good as I am, I could never do her justice." She beamed. "But now I'm all the more excited to see what she's got prepared; a party planned by a princess can only be awesome!"

"I hear you, Pinkie," Rainbow replied. "It'll definitely be one for the ages." She licked her lips. "I hope they have sugar worms."

"Ah'm lookin' forward ta it too," Applejack said. "But mostly Ah jus' wanna show Twilight how happy Ah am that she's finally become a full-fledged princess, responsibilities an' all."

"And I as well," Rarity agreed, smiling kindly.

"Um . . . me too," Fluttershy whispered as she gazed upwards fearfully.

The group continued to walk in silence for a bit after that. It wasn't until they'd almost reached the forest's edge and noticed a blanket of fog slowly rolling across the ground towards them that the silence was broken by Rainbow Dash.

"Well, that's not intimidating at all," she mused sarcastically.

"Not the time, Rainbow," Applejack chided her. "We can't let that there fog throw us off course."

"I know, I know," Rainbow replied, and sped up to the fog blanket. She stretched her wings out as far as they could go and began mightily flapping them in an effort to clear a path. But, try as she might she couldn't dispel the fog for more than a second before it managed to reclaim lost space and continued barreling towards the group. Eventually, Rainbow, short of breath and panting heavily, returned to her friends.

"It's no use girls," she tiredly stated.

The fog quickly reached them and enveloped the group in its blinding grasp. Their vision was cut to no more than a meter in front of them, barely affording them sight of each other.

"Darn Everfree weather," Applejack muttered. "Now what do we do?"

"Relax girls, I've got us covered," Pinkie proudly stated, and reached behind her, "because I've got," she brought her hoof and what it held in front of her, "a herring!"

Four simultaneous thuds sounded as the others' rumps made contact with the ground and their eyes twitched involuntarily. "Pinkie," Rarity said, as calmly as she could manage, "you are the epitome of all that's enigmatic and nonsensical."

"I have no idea what any of those words mean," Pinkie replied, "but thanks anyway, Rarity." She flashed a beaming grin.

". . ."

"Now then," Pinkie continued as she turned in the direction they were heading, "time to clear a path to the party!"

"With a herring!?" Rainbow exclaimed in exasperation.

"Oh, Dashie Dashie Dashie," Pinkie replied while shaking her head. "Never underestimate the power of freshly caught fish."

Before anypony could say anything else, Pinkie drew her hoof back and expertly chucked the herring into the fog. Though it stayed hidden from sight, the ponies could still hear the whooshing noises the dead fish made as it spun through the air. A few seconds later the fish returned like a boomerang, which Pinkie easily caught in her mouth.

Fluttershy raised a curious brow. "How did-"

She was cut off, however, by the sound of wood cracking and splintering. A couple seconds later a large tree fell in front of the group out of the fog, its trunk having been sliced clean through, startling all but Pinkie who just smiled through the fish in her mouth.

"How-but-it-you can't-with a-," Rarity stuttered while gesturing between the tree and Pinkie. The pink mare just smiled and proceeded into the fog, her herring primed and ready for any more potential obstacles. Rarity shook her head and turned to the others, who were equally as shocked over what had just happened. "I vote we all start taking calming narcotics to help deal with Pinkie Pie's . . . Pinkieness."

The others quickly nodded their heads in agreement before following behind the insanity-inducing party pony.

(Pinkie's antics saw to it that the others became drug addicts, but they also provided the group safe passage through the Everfree Forest. It's funny really, how has nopony figured out yet that Pinkie has chaos magic at her disposal? I mean, with all the crazy stuff she does you'd think somebody would connect the dots and-

"Quit force-feeding us your headcanon!"

(Well anyway, onto scene #4 which is a smashing scene with some lovely writing and features the titular example of the author's brilliant twist on the HiE trope. Said twist having also been implemented in The Black Knight but was showcased first in HUMAN: By Twilight Sparkle and then in its seq-) "-Urk!"

"Any more self-promoting out of you and I'll personally deliver your head on a platter to 'them'."

"Sorry! Sorry! It won't happen again, I promise."

"Good."

After several minutes of trudging through the fog-ridden Everfree Forest, cutting through every bramble and thorn bush in their way with what Pinkie had deemed to be her 'Fishete', the group finally exited the woodland nearby the bridge which crossed Everfree Gorge to the castle. Even outside the forest the fog was rolling in thick blankets, obscuring the ponies' vision but not to so great a degree that they couldn't see less than a few meters in front of them.

Stowing her Fishete back in hammerspace, Pinkie led the group down the dirt path following the cliff side toward the bridge. As they came within a few dozen meters of the bridge, they could make out a strange, bipedal figure standing at the entrance. Though the fog obscured many details they gradually made out a mane of shaggy, unkempt hair, tattered clothes, and a pair of hands which it casually held at its sides.

The ponies' confusion as to what the creature was slowly gave way to realization as a sense of familiarity washed over them upon coming closer to it. They stopped and stared in awed silence at the creature for a while before Applejack asked the one question they were all thinking then.

"Why in tarnation is there a human of all things guardin' the bridge?"

"I have no idea, darling," Rarity replied. She tapped her chin in thought. "And for that matter, why is there one here period? After all, they're naught but a product of our collective imagination."

"Maybe it was invited to Twilight's party?" Pinkie inquired.

Rainbow deadpanned. "Yeah, a fictional creature that we made up, and therefore doesn't exist in reality, was invited to Twilight's housewarming party," she said, voice oozing with sarcasm.

"Wow, really?" Pinkie gasped.

"No, of course not!" Rainbow shouted.

"Whoa there, nelly," Applejack said, putting herself between the two. "Now's not the time ta be fightin', not when there's a possible threat over yonder." She pointed at the human, who hadn't reacted whatsoever to the ponies' exchange.

"Is it really dangerous?" Fluttershy stammered, her knees shaking like two butter yellow maracas.

Applejack sighed. "Ah don't know what ta think, sugarcube." She glanced at the human again, who still hadn't reacted to the ponies' presence. "Ah mean, it ain't everyday a fictional creature becomes real an' gets in our way."

"So, what do we do, Applejack?" Rainbow asked.

Applejack took a moment to size the human up. While the fog was still a nuisance, she didn't see anything particularly threatening about the human, leading her to conclude there wasn't much need to worry. She turned to the others and motioned for them to huddle together, which they did.

"Here's the plan," Applejack told them, "we stick real close together an' keep our eyes peeled fer any funny business, from the human or anywhere else. If anythin' happens, we draw back and prepare ourselves fer battle. That sound good?"

The others all nodded in agreement. "Alrighty then," Applejack said, "let's go."

They all kept close and, with Applejack in front, began approaching the bridge. More details about the human showed as they came closer, such as the lack of any visible pupils in its eyes, and the crooked teeth showing from its mouth as it smiled wickedly. The ponies were unnerved by these things but pressed on regardless, always making sure they were so close they almost touched each other. They were but a couple meters from the human when it suddenly raised one of its hands and shouted, "Stop!"

The ponies flinched in response and did as told. Applejack and Rainbow Dash took up defensive positions in front of the others.

“Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side they see,” the human said, in a gravelly voice that indicated he was of old age.

The ponies all blinked simultaneously, unsure what to think of his demand. The human looked down at Applejack, his grin growing a little while she scowled in return.

"What... is your name?" he asked.

"'T ain't none of your business, bucko," she spat.

Suddenly, Applejack found herself being flung into the air by some unseeable force. She flew over the side of the gorge and plummeted through the fog, flailing her limbs and screaming the whole way while her friends watched in horror.

"Hang on Applejack!" Rainbow shouted. "I'm coming!" She quickly flew downward into the gorge after her friend, only to be blasted back by a sudden explosion and flung onto the ground.

"Ugggh," she groaned, holding her forehead to dull a rising headache. She took a moment to recompose herself and, seething with rage, flew straight up into the human's face. "Bring her back, right now!"

The human only chuckled in response. Scowling, Rainbow drew her hoof back and shot it at his face, only to wince in pain as the human's skull was hard as steel. Her hoof cracked a bit and a few tears fell from Rainbow's eyes at the pain, but she shouldered it and made an attempt to fly over the bridge, but was stopped by yet another explosion.

The human chuckled again as Rainbow rejoined her remaining friends and they all huddled.

"I-is Applejack gone for-for-for-" Fluttershy stuttered as her eyes welled up with tears, "-forever?"

Rainbow used her uninjured hoof to keep Fluttershy's chin up. She smiled. "She'll be alright, Fluttershy; I promise."

"If you say so," Fluttershy replied, wiping away her tears.

"What do we do now?" Rarity asked, her eyes wide with terror while her legs trembled. "The bridge is unpassable and we're at the mercy of-of..." She curled up into a fetal position and began rocking back and forth, whimpering.

"Snap out of it, Rares," Rainbow said. She grabbed hold of the unicorn's mane and pulled her back up onto her hooves, eliciting a little squeal of pain from her as she stood back up. "We're not gonna get anywhere by panicking." She case a brief glance downward. "That's what Applejack would've said."

"Right... Yes, you're quite right, darling." Rarity seemed to compose herself, visibly relaxing as her expression turned resolute. "We can do this."

Rainbow nodded, then turned around to face the bridge keeper, who hadn't ceased grinning at them all the while they talked. "Looks like we're gonna have to play by his rules," She turned back to her friends, "I'll go first if nopony else wants to volunteer," she said, her voice carrying a tinge of hope as she smiled at her friends. Their deadpans told her all she needed to know. "Yeah, didn't think so." She turned back to the bridge keeper, and gulped. "Well, here goes..."

She approached the bridge keeper with shaky steps, her face a mask of fear.

"Stop!" the bridge keeper said, raising his hand again.

Rainbow did as instructed. The fear in her face melted away by her will, replaced with stoic resoluteness as she tried to appear more calm and level than she actually was inside.

"What... is your name?" the bridge keeper asked.

"R-Rainbow Dash," she replied, cursing herself for the stutter.

"What... is your quest?"

"Right now it's to get help for Applejack."

"What... is your favorite book?"

That gave the ponies all pause. Rarity and Fluttershy both stared deadpan at the bridge keeper while Rainbow's apprehension was replaced with confused excitement, only for that to melt away as her cheeks flushed red and she nervously scuffed her hoof along the ground.

"It's, uh . . . It's 'Lady Rebel Joy's Lover'."

"Right, off you go then."

Rainbow smiled, her cheeks still red, and turned to her friends, who were staring at her with mixed confusion and shock. "Meet you on the other side, I'm gonna go get Twilight!" And with that, she zipped past the bridge keeper into the fog over the bridge, disappearing from sight.

"I'm up next! I'm up next!" Pinkie chanted as she bounced in place excitedly.

"Sure, darling," Rarity said with no small amount of eagerness in her voice as she gestured toward the bridge. "Go right ahead."

"Yay!" Pinkie bounced her way over to the bridge keeper.

"Stop!" he once again commanded with a raised hand.

Pinkie did as commanded, but continued to bounce in place. "You know, you sound like a broken record when you keep saying that," she said, giggling.

"What... is your name?"

"Pinkie Pie!"

"What... is your quest?"

"To join Dashie in finding Twilight so we can tell her that you're a big meanie pants for sending Applejack to certain doom."

"What... is the recipe for Baked Bads?"

Pinkie stopped bouncing immediately, freezing stiff on the ground. Her pupils retracted into pinpricks and her eye twitched involuntarily, her entire visage changing from one of giddiness to absolute terror. Her legs shook uncontrollably and sweat began trickling down her face.

"B-b-b-b-" she stuttered.

Her mind devolved into a cacophony of groans and wretched puking sounds as memories of the Baked Bad Incident resurfaced from their dormant prison. Images of dozens of sick ponies constantly puking, groaning, and green-faced came flooding to her in rapid succession. All of it combined was enough to break her.

“Not the Bads! Not the Bads!” she shouted in agony, holding her hooves up to the sides of her head. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! They're in my head! My head! AAAHHH! AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Rarity, Fluttershy, and the bridge keeper all watched as Pinkie too was launched into the air and over the side of the gorge, screaming in mental anguish the entire way. Once she was out of sight, the bridge keeper turned to the remaining two ponies, who both stiffened at his gleeful gaze.

"What... is your name?"

The question went unanswered at first, as both ponies were too scared to attempt to answer. Eventually, Fluttershy mustered up enough courage to squeak out "It's Fluttershy!", to which Rarity looked completely awed at the butterscotch pegasus for her out-of-nowhere bout of courage.

"What... is your quest?"

"T-t-to save our f-f-friends."

"What... is the ribonucleic acid sequence for chickens?"

"W-w-what do y-y-you m-m-mean; n-n-natural or m-m-mutant?"

The bridge keeper looked confused. "Mutants exist?"

Suddenly, a massive human foot descended upon him, rattling the earth and causing the two ponies to stumble with the force. Upon recovering, they followed the leg up with their eyes, their jaws dropping more and more as they gradually made out a body wearing a white business suit and gray tie, attached to arms with human hands, and the barest sight of an ethereal, white-bearded face scowling down from the clouds above.

"Indeed, they do," Lt. Gravels bellowed. And with that, he raised his foot back up above the clouds, quickly disappearing from sight.

The two mares could only stare slack-jawed at what had just happened. A gust of wind blew across the ground, carrying with it a sense of calm (along with a tattered newspaper whose headline said, "Non-Sequitur Jokes Outdated!). Eventually, the two ponies came to realize they were free to cross the Bridge of Death.

"Fluttershy," Rarity said.

The pegasus turned to her. "Yeah?"

"If anyone ever asks, a rogue timberwolf came and slaughtered him," Rarity finished, grimacing at the human's bloody, crushed carcass laying between them and the bridge.

"Oh yes," Fluttershy replied, nodding and smiling. "And we cowered in terror because we're a couple of chickens at heart."

"Precisely." Rarity's expression turned quizzical as she looked to her friend. "Speaking of which, how do you know about chicken mutants, anyway?"

A moment of silence passed before Fluttershy answered, a little more hastily than she intended. "No reason."

Rarity raised a curious brow, but shrugged and motioned toward the bridge. "Come along then," she said, "let's go find Twilight and save Applejack and Pinkie Pie."

Fluttershy gave a quick, resolute nod, and the two of them galloped

across the bridge. Upon reaching the other side, they were delighted to find both Rainbow and Twilight waiting for them. Twilight had a sheepish look on her face while Rainbow's was one of hardly concealed anger.

"Twilight! Rainbow Dash!" Rarity shouted in joy. "Thank Celestia you're here already!"

"Pinkie and Applejack are in trouble!" Fluttershy continued, all the while making panicked motions behind her and Rarity. "They couldn't answer the scary human's questions correctly and were flung into the gorge. Oh, they could be injured and bruised and suffering internal bleeding even now! We have to help them!"

Twilight could only scuffle a hoof across the ground in response before Rainbow nudged her forward. "Go on," the pegasus said in an authoritative tone, "tell 'em."

Twilight sighed and hung her head. "I know, girls," she said, her voice sorrowful. "That human was mine."

"Yes, yes, we remember you created them," Rarity said, "but that's not import-"

"No, Rarity," Twilight interrupted her, "I mean that human was, well . . . I guess you could say it was 'working for me', in a way."

". . . What?" Fluttershy said dumbly.

"It was a flesh puppet," Twilight admitted. "I was using my magic to control it and, using a special microphone lodged in its throat, made it ask those questions." She sighed again. "I also enchanted the ground around the bridge to launch anybody who answered a question wrong into the gorge. There's a safety net down there, though, so Applejack and Pinkie are perfectly okay."

"What about the exploding fog?" Rarity asked.

"That would be my doing, dear Rarity," answered a familiar voice before its owner appeared in a yellow flash in front of her, holding a regular microphone in his talon.

"Discord," Rainbow growled.

"Rainbow," Discord replied in a mock growl while waving his mismatched hands around mellow-dramatically. "Honestly, that greeting has long since worn out its welcome, not that it ever was welcomed to begin with."

Fluttershy stepped forward. "What's going on, Discord?" she asked with a small ting of fear in her words.

"Ah, dear sweet Fluttershy," Discord replied, patting her on the head, "there is no need to worry, for this was all just a prank by Twilight and yours truly."

"A prank?"

"Indeed." Discord strode over to Twilight and rested his paw on her back. "But let's let our favorite little bookworm explain, shall we?"

Twilight took a moment to give Discord a deadpanned expression before continuing with her explanation. "It started out as just a fun, quirky way of confirming invitations. I would have the human puppet ask who the pony was and their purpose for crossing the bridge, and then confirm their identity by asking a question only they would know the answer to. If they answered correctly, they were allowed to cross. If not, they'd be denied access." She pursed her lips. "Then Discord happened."

"Indeed I did," the draconequus said with a smug. "You see, Celestia has been hammering us to strengthen our horrifically lackluster friendship in any way we could. So, I asked Twilight if she'd be up for a little pranking and she, ever eager to try new things, agreed." He made a sweeping gesture toward the bridge and the gorge it crossed. "And I must say that I enjoyed every last second of it." He removed his hand from her person and stood up straight. "But I cannot stay longer, for I must now write to ol' Tia about the wonders of bonding at others' expense. Toodles!"

With another snap, he disappeared in another flash of yellow light, leaving the ponies alone. Twilight's friends all fixed their attention on her with blank stares, to which she pursed her lips, again, and sighed, again.

"I'm sorry, girls," she said. "Believe me when I say I didn't want to do it at first, but Celestia did ask that we bond, and I've always been a little curious about pranking, and we had the perfect setup for it, so . . ." She trailed off for a moment before turning away shamefully. "If you don't want to attend the party, I understand; I wouldn't want to either after what I just did to all of you."

Nopony said anything for a few moments. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash all stood still as they poured over all that they'd just learned about the bridge keeper, as well as Applejack and Pinkie's well-being. Finally, Rarity spoke up.

"Twilight, dear?"

The lavender mare turned around. A tear could be seen dripping down her muzzle. "Yes, Rarity?"

The alabaster unicorn trotted over to Twilight and laid a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "While your little shenanigan was positively uncouth, in no way am I mad at you, and I'll still be attending your housewarming party."

Twilight blinked. "Really?"

"Of course, darling," Rarity replied. "Like I said, it was uncouth, but you did it with noble intentions, so I forgive you wholeheartedly."

"Me too," Fluttershy spoke up, walking over to them. "I mean, it was really, really scary and traumatizing and I'll have nightmares over it for weeks, but if pulling that prank helped bring you closer to Discord, then I'm happy you did it."

Twilight smiled. "Thanks, girls." She turned to face Rainbow Dash, who hadn't let up on her mask of anger. "Rainbow?"

The speedster merely hovered in the air, saying nothing while she kept her fore legs crossed over her chest. her gaze softened, however, upon seeing the pleading looks in Rarity and Fluttershy's faces, to which she eventually sighed and floated down to Twilight. "Yeah, sure, I forgive you too."

"Thanks, Rainbow," Twilight said, smiling a little wider.

"Yeah, well . . ." the corner's of Rainbow's mouth lifted into a small smirk, "that was a pretty awesome prank, all things considered."

Twilight blinked. "You really think so?"

Rainbow's smirk grew a little. "Take it from an experienced prankster, Twilight." She playfully slapped the alicorn's shoulder. "You've got a real talent for it."

Twilight blushed. "Thanks, Rainbow; I actually did have some fun doing it." Her expression turned sour. "Though, lip-synching Discord's voice with the puppet's mouth was a lot of trouble. Almost made the whole thing not worth it, really."

"Well, that won't be a problem anymore," Rarity said, glancing back across the bridge. "After all, that puppet is now a mere stain on your soon-to-be front yard."

"What happened, anyway?" Twilight asked, following Rarity's gaze over the fogy bridge. "I felt such a strong tremor through my magic, and all connection I had with him was severed."

"We'll tell you some over time," Rarity said, and began making way back toward the bridge. "For now, let's rescue our friends from the gorge. The poor dears must be confused and annoyed with each other."

"Right, of course." Twilight began following her, with Fluttershy and Rainbow bringing up the rear. "Hopefully, they'll forgive me too."

"Oh, I think they will," Fluttershy said, nodding, "that is, once we explain everything to them."

"But just in case," Rainbow said, grimacing, "best have a shield spell or something at the ready in case Applejack gets all riled up."

Twilight grimaced herself. "Right, will do."

~Meanwhile, at the not-yet-but-soon-to-be-finished Scene #2~

"Pleeeeeease accept our sacrifice, Lt. Gravels!"

*WHACK*

"Pleeeeeease accept our sacrifice, Lt. Gravels!"

*WHACK*

Dressed in black cloaks and holding wooden planks in their wings, Fluttershy's chickens circled around a wooden post, tied to which was a very bored-looking Scootaloo wearing a fry cook's hat. Every time the chickens finished chanting their plea they would simultaneously slam the plank against their face before repeating this process.

With a bored sigh, Scootaloo looked up at the sky. "Lt. Gravels, are you listening?"

"Indeed I am; what's up Scootaloo?"

"Your followers are dimwits."