In a Cello Mood

Dear Diary,

Sorry for not writing in you (should I say, ‘to you’?) for a week, but it hasn’t been a particularly interesting week. Some university stuff; going out for a drink with Lyra and Bon-Bon on Wednesday; a little tension between me and Vinyl…

But, with Vinyl’s idea, the tension should go away. Yes, I am actually making an entry not just because it’s Friday, but because Vinyl has suggested a genius idea. Yes, I know. Vinyl and ‘genius’ don’t really go hoof in hoof, but, believe me, this time it’s different.

We were having dinner, and then she made the suggestion…

***

“Why don’t we go on a weekend trip to the Crystal Empire?”

Octavia coughed up the salad, casting a curious (and more than a little bedazzled) look at her marefriend. Jeffrey gently tapped the young mistress on the back.

Eleanore stopped eating and put down her fork, smiling at her daughter’s lover. “Why, Vinyl, this is a wonderful idea. I haven’t been there in ages. Have you, Jeffrey?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jeffrey replied with a stoic expression on his muzzle. “I have been there recently.” He hoofed the salad to the white unicorn, who, after making the suggestion, happily dug into the food again.

Octavia blinked, casting a side glance at the valet. “When?”

“We butlers have mastered the art of four-dimensional existence,” Jeffrey explained calmly, pouring some more lemonade to the young mare. “It is easier than it sounds.”

Octavia’s mouth fell slightly agape. You what, mate? the little pony in her head enquired dumbly. “Ah.” She smiled, nodding at the older pony. “I get it. Butler jokes.”

“Yes…” Jeffrey squinted his eyes and rose from his place to get the desserts. “Jokes…”

“I didn’t mean all of us.” Vinyl chewed on the food and swallowed it before carrying on. “I mean, Miss Philarmonica, you are very cool, because you let me live here and eat and sleep and also have sex with your daughter-” Octavia cleared her throat very audibly, glaring at the white mare, while Eleanore just smiled. “Um, what I mean is, I thought this would be a nice romantic holiday for Tavi and I.”

“For Tavi ‘and me’,” Octavia corrected automatically, taking a sip of her lemonade. I like this drink! the little pony in her head exclaimed, throwing her glass on the ground. Another!

“No.” Vinyl blinked. “You are the Tavi. So for you and me, that’s what I mean.”

Octavia groaned, shaking her head in extreme grammatical disapproval. The little pony in her head put on a uniform and took a riding crop. You think grammar is a bucking game? Again, Octavia marvelled at the entity apparently populating her mind.

“I understand, dear,” Eleanore addressed the white mare with a weak smile. “But I do not feel like the Crystal Empire is the place to go on a romantic holiday.” She exchanged a knowing look with Jeffrey. “Maybe… go somewhere else?”

“Why?” Vinyl asked curiously. “The Crystal Empire is just four hours away by train, and I know it’s pretty cold there, but we’ll pack warm clothes.”

“It’s not that…” Eleanore sighed, looking at Jeffrey. “Jeffrey, maybe you can explain?”

“Yes, ma’am.” The butler nodded primly. “The issue, miss Vinyl,” he addressed the DJ, “is that the Crystal citizens are not particularly… keen on some peculiarities of the character that you and young miss share.”

Vinyl blinked, then looked hopelessly at Jeffrey, then Octavia, then Eleanore. “My brain hurts,” she lamented. “I think Jeffrey broke it. Can I have it replaced? Oh!” The pony brightened up. “Maybe I can become a robopony! Or an android!”

Octavia looked at her marefriend very flatly while the little pony in her head whipped the riding crop against her leg to test it. Leave her to me. “Jeffrey means-” Octavia began, used to explaining things to her lover, but stumbled over the wording as well. “Uhm. What exactly does Jeffrey mean, Mom?”

“He means,” Eleanore said softly, “that, in the Crystal Empire, your orientation is… frowned upon, to say the least.” Octavia looked at her mother curiously. “Yes, it may sound weird for your generation, but there are still places that do not exactly accept same-sex couples.”

“But why?” Vinyl enquired, making the little pony in Octavia’s head put on a lab coat. “What’s wrong with me and Tavi just walking together like marefriends. It’s not like we kiss in the streets or-” A very loud cough from Octavia followed. “What I mean is, we never kissed in the streets,” Vinyl quickly finished her lie.

“Because of historic, religious, and sociopolitical reasons, Miss,” Jeffrey explained in a neutral tone. “Maybe for the same reasons we don’t particularly like the… feather population.”

Vinyl blinked in surprise. “We don’t?” She looked at Octavia, who nodded.

“Of course we don’t, Vinyl, they are griffins,” the cellist explained patiently, as if to a slow foal. Isn’t that self-obvious? “Why they would hate same-sex couples, though, is what eludes me…” The cellist shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. It isn’t banned by law, so we’re going there,” Octavia said with determination.

Eleanore sighed, shaking her head but knowing very well it was pointless to argue with her daughter. “Okay, sweetie. But please be careful. I don’t want to see you beaten up or in custody.”

“Mom.” Octavia waved her hoof. “I am the most cautious mare ever.” Oh really? The little pony in her head crossed her hooves sternly. “We won’t really show affection in public, right, Vinyl?” The unicorn nodded with a shrug. “We’re just gonna see the sights, enjoy the weather.”

“Speaking about the weather,” Jeffrey remarked, putting the cake on the table finally, and cutting it into eight perfect slices, “it is rather cold in the Crystal Empire, so I suggest that young Miss and Miss Vinyl take their warmest clothes.” He glanced at Octavia. “In young Miss’s case, that would be the pink sweater, the one with the unicorn.”

Octavia flushed furiously, looking away from the party, wondering whether she had offended Jeffrey somehow or if it was a genuine recommendation. Butlers are not supposed to mock mistresses! the little pony princess in her head confirmed. They are supposed to give mistresses a lot of sweets and alcohol. Especially alcohol!

“Unicorn master race,” Vinyl whispered to herself with a firm, resolute nod. “Well, I’m so glad you’re up for the idea, because I already booked the tickets.” Vinyl took a slice of the cake and dug in joyfully.

“You did what?” Octavia stared at the spinner, while Eleanore placed a slice of cake on her own plate with a small smile and Jeffrey remained as adamant as ever. “Vinyl, what happened to asking and talking it out with me? And Mom? And Jeffrey, for that matter?”

“Please do not include me in this, Miss,” Jeffrey replied stoically, taking his place at the table and putting a slice of cake on Octavia’s plate.

“I just thought this would be cool to go on a romantic holiday at the weekend.” Vinyl’s eyes fell a little sad at the thought that her plan might be rejected. “I mean, sure, we won’t be able to make out in the streets and what-not-” Octavia coughed very loudly. “But we could see all the awesome museums and concert halls and nature!”

Octavia sighed and rubbed her eyelids with her hoof slowly. “Okay.” She looked up at Vinyl with a smile. “What date did you buy the tickets for?”

Vinyl’s face brightened up immediately, giving Octavia a surge of joy at seeing her marefriend so happy. “Today! The train leaves in two hours!” Vinyl cleaned her mouth with the back of her hoof. “So we better pack out things, or we’ll be late!”

Octavia stared at her marefriend for a long, long while. Then, she turned towards Eleanore. “Mom, if I kill Vinyl right now, will you help me hide the body?”

“Hey!” Vinyl called out, visibly offended. “I’m a vegan, and I’m offended!”

Octavia blinked back at her. “Vinyl, we are ponies. We are all vegans.”

“Nope.” Vinyl shook her head. “We are vegetarians. Seriously, Tavi, that’s some offensive things you’re saying. You really should go through some political correctness training.”

Eleanore snickered, shaking her head in a ‘those fillies’ manner and got back to her food. Octavia fumed, trying to say something bold and at the same time not offensive to her marefriend. “Well,” she decided, “I bucked political correctness against the wall!” Are there any political correctness warriors in the audience tonight? the little pony in her head asked, taking two hammers and making a cross with them. Get them up against the wall!

“A very noble move, Miss,” Jeffrey remarked, finally taking a piece of cake for himself. “May I suggest that you pack your possessions after this meal in order not to be late for the train?”

“Yes…” Octavia sighed and put her plate away. “Let’s do just that.”

***

“And then I’ll write a book about us living in the Crystal Empire in the Thirties, when filly-fooling was illegal, and there’ll be a lot of jazz, and I’ll be a jazz pianist and I’ll call it The Snow on-”

Octavia pressed her lips against Vinyl’s, effectively silencing the silly unicorn. Vinyl melted into the kiss, leaning onto the standing mare from her plank at the train. “Mmm, Tavi…” the unicorn purred, nuzzling the grey mare’s cheek. “You were always the best kisser.”

Better than Neon? the little pony in Octavia’s head asked. Octavia told that little pony to go buck herself with a stick. “Mmm, you’re passable too,” the cellist remarked and giggled. “Saaay…” She wiggled her brow, crawling onto Vinyl’s plank bed. “Since we can’t really show affection in the Crystal Empire, and we still have three hours of this night ride…” She licked her lips and rolled onto Vinyl, pinning her to the bed.

“Mmm,” Vinyl replied, grinning widely and taking off her spectacles. “Yes… Three hours.” She flicked off the lights. “That would let us do it…” She calculated, then grinned in the dark. “About eighteen times.”

“Vinyl!”

***

Okay, so we did it. And it was good. But what is better is watching the moon while riding on the train. Have you ever been on a midnight train, Diary? Of course you have, what a stupid question. You are here with me. But when the darkness envelops the land, and the moon is peeking through the clouds, and you ride slowly through the beautiful, lovely plains of Equestria, you don’t just feel a certain pride for your country. You feel like you belong here.

The visit might be nice, but it might be dreadful. But what fills me with determination is that we will return to Equestria. To Mom. To Jeffrey. To Lyra and Bon-Bon. Because I guess, it’s nice to go travelling.

But it’s oh so nicer to come home.

A quite content Octavia, October 30th