Power is Knowledge

Don't I just get the worst ideas?

I tried to rest today, I really did, but something kept me awake... something I promised myself not to write about until... Oh, what am I saying? I can't keep away from writing about it... I don't know how I went so long without doing it before.

Her.  Ever since the talk with Twilight, She keeps popping into my mind, as if she was stuck there until I let her free through pen and paper.  In retrospect, that was a bad analogy.  Moving on.

I must write of Her relevance to everything I've written, and I must do it now.  I will start from the beginning, so bear with me for a while here.

We were childhood friends, She and I.  We always went out in the middle of the night so nopony saw us, and we played together.  When we were kids, it was fun little games like tag and hide-and-seek.  (Two-pony tag got very interesting; we had to make up new rules just to keep the game fair.) Those were fun times...  As we grew older, and it became more apparent that we had other feelings for each other, it turned into something different.  Not inappropriate, just... not the same.  We stargazed together, made some jokes, and a little flirting may have happened.  One night, things got... interesting.

It started out regularly, with stargazing.  I had found six constellations, but she had found ten.  We were sitting next to each other, but not very close.  A gust of wind blew by and I heard her shiver.  Every instinct to just hug her as passionately as I could was screaming out at me, but I made no movements.  She was cold, but I didn't want to seem that eager to flirt.  However, she obviously was, for she scooted right up next to me.  I was scared, honestly, to be so close to her, as I felt I would do something irredeemably stupid in the next few moments.

"First?" She asked.

"Yeah?" I said, my voice shaking a little from both the temperature and the situation.

"We've known each other for years."

"Uh-huh... And?"

"I was wondering if... you know... we could be more than just friends?"

I was not ready for that question.  The time to answer was then, and yet I had no answer.  I tried to think of a decent response to hide my indecision.

"Well... I've been thinking about that, too..."

"First..." She looked me in the eyes with this look of... longing? No, not that... Love?  Perhaps, but not good enough... I don't really know how to describe it.  Our muzzles were literally an inch away from each other...

She gave me a kiss, which I also was not ready for.  I was shocked at first, but in seconds I melted into it.  That moment, the world could just stop turning and let this happen.

Emotions are important, just as important as new information.  Like I said, bear with me.

We made out several times, cuddling into each other without limits.  There were no boundaries, no rules, no others.  However, I was the one who ended the moment.

"First?  Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just that... let's take it slow."

The first night of my life where I felt like I had something to live for, something to believe in... something to die for.

Three days...

We had to put on a charade every time we saw each other, acting like we didn't even know one another.  It made day-to-day life very hard.  Our families just so happened to be with us when we bumped into each other in the town square.

I was very scared, for I feared that the two families would find out about our little midnight excursions.

Nothing happened.

Our families crossed, exchanged some small talk, and then went their separate ways.  I felt great that problems didn't occur.  That is, until my brother spoke to me.

"Hey, First!  Did you see that mare?" he asked me.

"Yeah..." I replied cautiously.

"Do you think she has a coltfriend?  I'm worried that she might have one if I ask her to go out with me."

My jaw dropped.  My own brother was after the same mare that was my marefriend?  I closed my jaw and prepared to give him the bad news.

"Well, as a matter of fact, she does.  He's strong, smart, and much cooler than you.  You don't stand a chance."

The look on his face... it was priceless, I tell you!

"Really? Damn... well, that means only one thing."

"What?"

"I have to congratulate you on making it this far."

I knew he knew.  The smug look on his face said it all.

"So... how many others know?"

He laughed at me. "Brother, I was joking!  You and a mare?  Get outta town!"

"What did you expect?  Me and a colt?"

"You never really said anything regarding... how do I put it... which 'team' you play on." he joked.  I gave him a punch in the shoulder for that one.  He asked me how it all happened, and I briefly explained how we knew each other so well.

That night, I went to the regular meeting place, where she was waiting for me.  She wasted no time to snuggle right up next to me.  She tilted her head to lie on my shoulder, and I just let the entire romance of the situation sink in.  We talked about how we were going to work it all out with our families, and I told her  we would find a way to convince them.

"What if my parents don't like you?  What if they don't allow for it?"

"I will find a way to make them trust me." I replied, but I had doubts.  Getting somepony to like and trust you took time... a great deal of time, at that.

Two days...

My brother told my father about the new relationship.  He was glad, if you can believe that.

"Son, this something wonderful!  You should embrace the fact that you have a marefriend!  Why didn't you mention it sooner?"

"I was afraid, father... afraid you would not approve."

"First, look at me." he said.  I did as he asked, and I saw his smiling face. "You do not need to fear anything, especially when it is something like this."

"I understand, father."

"Then what are you still doing here?  Go and see her!  Let nothing stand in your way!"

I gave him a smile and ran off as fast as I could.  I knew where her house was, for it was only a few blocks down from my own house.

I knocked on the door and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  I began to wonder if the house was even occupied at the moment, when a huge mare opened the door.  It was not Her.

"Oh," she said looking down at me, "it's you.  Please, come in.  Make yourself at home."

She stepped out of the way, but I swear to Celestia that it sounded like a bad idea.  I figured I had the wrong house.

"I must have the wrong house... I'm looking for Second Chance?"

"I'm her sister, Third Charm.  She's talked a lot about you, Impression."

This mare was her sister??? I couldn't believe it.  Also, that name... so unfitting for her.

And yes, it was a complete coincidence that our names were First, Second, and Third.

I entered cautiously and saw Second appear from behind a corner.

"First?  What are you doing here?"

I had forgotten the reason I was there, but I remembered in a few seconds.

"My father will allow for this, and from the sound of it, your family seems to be fine with it."

"Let's talk in another room." She said. "Someplace were my sister doesn't need to be listening."

"Well excuuuuse me for existing." Third said. "It's not like I tried to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

She and I went into the kitchen, and Third went somewhere else entirely.

"They are not exactly sure... they are suspicious of what the 'meetings at night' were all about."

Suspicion rests deep within the mind of ponies who may never see the other side.  Just a side note.

"I have an idea." I said. "It will only work if you trust me."

"Tell me."

***

I did a little background research into the name First Impression, and I found out something very peculiar.  The family history is not stored with the others, but rather in a vault housed somewhere in the very back of the library in Canterlot.  I need the Princess's permission to enter it.  I will have to wait until the girls and I go to the Gala to ask about it, yet there is so many other things I need to ask her about, like immortality, being an alicorn, and on an unrelated note, where to find the best quills.  Writing letters with bad ones can be a little frustrating.

Anyway, the point is I'll be able to find out his history soon enough, and also be able to find out why it is in the... what was the name of the section? "Equestrian History"?  I'll be able to find--

Wait a minute...

Well, I almost missed something there.  Why is it under Equestrian History?  How long has this pony been around?  It can't be that long... right?  Also, why is it so off-limits if it's just about the past?

Maybe it was just misplaced?  If so, the librarian isn't doing her job very well.  First-hand experience lets me be the judge of that.

But... what if it isn't a mistake?  What if there's something about DT I should know, but do not know?  Come to think of it, how old is DT?  He doesn't look much older than I am...  Something just doesn't add up here.

I don't want to bother him again, and I won't.  He needs to finish those notes, then we'll talk.

***

That night, we met in a different location: under the lone apple tree at the edge of the town.  It was quiet... so quiet that peace was had.  She arrived a little later than usual, but I had no problem with it.  I knew she would not be very willing to be here, but it was for the greater good.

She saw me and a half-smile appeared on her face.

"So glad you could make it, Second."  I smiled and tried to make her feel comfortable.

"I'm glad, too."

"Nopony saw you come out here?"

"Just like always." She said with a wink.

"Of course.  I'm such an idiot for thinking otherwise."

"You are not an idiot.  We both know that."

"Maybe so... Shall we see what the stars say tonight?"

"Again?"

"The future is an important thing." I said. "Why not be a few steps ahead instead of a few steps behind?"

She and I sat down under the tree and began to watch the stars.  I was an idiot, truly, for that night could've changed the future.

I looked for signs of hope, love, even just plain friendship, but I found only a few.  The sky was full of dark prognostics.  Death, destruction, and loss...  I ignored these signs, fooling myself into believing they did not exist.  I should've said something, but that would ruin the plan.  I told her of the signs I did see, and figured that would be suitable enough.

Of course, we did kiss a bit.  It wasn't out of the ordinary anymore.  The night ended with her saying those words...

"First?"

"Yes?"

"Don't you ever let anything end our love."

"I promise you, nothing will."

If only I had known how wrong I was.

One day...

Second arrived at my home early the next morning, bearing good news.

"It worked just like you said!  All my family needed to know... Well, they saw it last night!"

The plan did work.  Our meeting last night was a show, something to tell Second's family that I was not a bad pony, and that I never was.  Third had been watching that last night to see what goes on in these little meeting of ours, and it was appropriate enough.  Although it made things a little uncomfortable, it worked.

Third was trusted by many.  Family and friends of her found her to be both very reliable and convincing.

We were truly together.

We spent most of the day walking and sharing our thoughts.  The town was small, and there was so little we could do with so much time.  We spoke out minds, and some very thought-provoking things came up, and we found ourselves taking all the time of the day discussing.

We decided to keep doing the meetings at night.  She had work to do, and so did I (sometimes), so it might still be the only time we see each other throughout the course of a day.

One hour.

I went to the regular place for our meetings, as she said that she liked to meet there.  I waited for the longest time, but the unthinkable happened.

She wasn't there.  She never arrived that night.

I began to worry, and I decided to check the other meeting spots.  I found nothing.  I feared that something was overlooked, that somehow something came up.  It turns out I was right, but not in that regard.

Her time was up.

I returned him and tried to go to sleep, but I could not.  I wondered where we went wrong in the planning today but I found nothing.

The next day was the worst day, scratch that, second to worst day of my life.

My father and brother told me the news of Second's death. Last night, about the time I was searching around for her, she was in her home.  They didn't know the cause of death, but for some reason I couldn't help thinking that they did, and that it was something horrible they chose not to tell me.  They could not find the pony responsible, and the only thing to do at that point was to arrange Her funeral.

It all happened so suddenly.  I felt as if my world was rocked, then shattered, only to reform as this disfigured mass of heartbreak.  The one true love of my life, the pony I knew all my life, was simply ripped away from me without warning and without reason.

I lie.  It was only without reason.  The sky warned me of the danger, and I ignored its foresight.

I was not a wreck after Her death, though.  Nopony, at that point in time, ever was.  They felt the loss in their hearts, but they strived to keep the dead's dreams alive.  The only idea she had was to find true love.

I was not about to let the dreams go.

I told my father and brother I would become a healer, so that no pony should befall a terrible fate such as this.  They respected my decision, and they urged on my efforts into healing magic.  I was vowed that if and when I could, I would bring her back from the dead.

That is why she is important. That is the reason I am the pony I am.  And that is why I am trying to forget.  You see, it is not her death that marks my despair, but the fact that sometime later, I would know the killer.

But that is another story.  One I will not get into now, or in my next writing.

Depression sweeps over me, and I feel the need to stop.  I grow tired of reminding myself of the worst times I can remember.  I end here.

***

I find myself in a peculiar predicament.  A box from Canterlot came in today, and I've been a little afraid to open it.  It's just a simple cardboard cube, but I fear what I might find inside of it.

I open the box, and I see a note that is attached to the inside of it.  It's from... Celestia?!  What is this???  I rip through the packing material, and I find that inside there are the very writings from the Equestrian history section I was looking for.  How did the Princess know to send these?  What in the world is going on here???

Her note reads simply: "Know the truth."  She's never been this straightforward, but at the same time, this could not be more mysterious.  The princess really does just be mysterious and all-knowing, so maybe I shouldn't be that surprised about this.  I mean, there was mind-reading magic, as I knew from knowledge of magic itself and the experience with DT.

I will read through these papers, and then make some more notes tomorrow.  Finally, something that might actually help me in my efforts to understand this pony.  I look at his family tree and see it looks fairly normal...

Wait, what's this?  His father is... that can't be right.  No, all this has to be wrong.  He's been dead for thousands of years...

His father... is Star Swirl the Bearded.