Power is Knowledge

by DarkPony4444

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 39386

After being a near death experience, a certain pony finds he has a strange power.

Double Take was a normal pony. That is, before he was almost stabbed to death. Now he has a strange power he wants others to understand. However, how can anypony understand it when nopony understands him?

These are a compilation of notes from both Double Take and those who have tried to understand him, bit by bit.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-19 00:21:14 UTC

The Second Effect

Spring is a great season.  It's sunny, everypony's happy, the world seems fine...

No, wait... that's summer, isn't it?

Today it rained.  I was outside, and I refused to take refuge in anypony's house, even though many offered to take me in.  The rain is the one time I can imagine her.

Where did she go?  Are we to be separated forever?  Why can't I see her again?

Such questions are for a fool, so with that logic I am one.  She's out there somewhere, I know it, but where is the question...

That same pony from yesterday talked to me again.  She was holding an umbrella with her magic. She talked to me about going inside her house again.  I rejected, but this time I did not feel bad about it.

She told me to wait a second.  She wanted to talk to me out in the rain here.

Well, somepony's persistent.  My search was leading me nowhere yet again, so I decided to talk for a minute unless another situation arose.

I told her I'll talk to her, but she should make it quick.  She didn't ask why, she got right down to business.  She asked me where I was from.  I told her someplace she wouldn't know or understand.  Specifics were out of the question.  She asked me how I got here.  I told her I walked, like a normal pony.  She asked me why I was here.

I told her it was for a good reason, one nopony could understand. Not today.

She was displeased with my answers she asked why I was being so vague.  I looked at her, straight in the eyes.  Those innocent eyes... they remind me of that look... I told her that she was going to have to look elsewhere if she wanted information on me.

But then she asked the one question... the one question I swore never to answer.

"What does your cutie mark mean?"

She had noticed it.  Unlike everypony in this whole town, she is the first to notice that I, Double Take, am a real pony, that I exist, that I have a meaning, and most importantly that I live.

It surprised me.  Only the most knowledgeable and perceptive pony could pick me out of a crowd, as the expression goes.  However, that very fact is what scared me more than anything.

I couldn't change my name now.  If I died again, the world would know.  If I was found out about...

I had to get away.  She asked so little, but she asked too much.  I told her I was leaving, and I walked away.  She shouted at me to stop, to not go, not yet. I felt as she tried to trip me with her magic, but to no avail.  In mere seconds, that magic was gone, as no magic can touch me.

I think she began to cry.  Crying... they call it a form of weakness, but that is a hypocrite's claim.  When one cries, it makes he or she weak as well as others weak, often making them cry as well.  If it hadn't been raining so hard, maybe I would've noticed my own tears streaming down my face.

The world has to know.  They have to know what they can do, how to save themselves... but I cannot tell them. What is learned is much more valuable and memorable than what is simply told to a pony.

The rain has given me very little material to write on today, so I must end my writings here for now. As much as I will hate it, I must seek refuge and let these papers dry before my wisdom in words are lost forever.

***

The weather ponies are so rude.  They planned another rainstorm today so that the earth ponies will have good soil for planting their seeds tomorrow.  While it is necessary and good for them, everypony else is left to suffer.

It's simply dreadful.  I've been stuck in the house with Sweetie Belle from when the day began, and thus I've been warding off trouble ever since then.

However, I heard a knock on the door, and wondered who it could be.  I opened it up to see a rugged pony.  It was that homeless one. Now, usually, I would not let such a pony into my boutique, but the way he shivered and asked for shelter until the storm ended was well... quite polite, considering who it was coming from.

I let him in and this sort of... I don't know what to call it... aura, followed.  Sweetie Belle just stared at him.  She wasn't causing any more problems.  He asked if he could sit somewhere to warm up. I got him a blanket and instructed him to sit on the couch.  I needed to know what he was doing here.  He had a wet saddlebag, which I offered to hang up for him, but he denied, saying there was something very important in it.  I asked as to what it could be. He opened the bag and I saw the contents.

***

I was glad that this pony let me inside, but that also meant every social rule now applied, as opposed to me being all on my own.  I had to be kind, considerate, and overall, polite. I did not want to upset the mare of the house.  What I didn't expect was her sister.

The filly had a lot of questions.  Most of them were about who I was and why I looked the way I did.  The mare looked at her, saying it is rude to ask such things, but these questions I did not mind answering.  I told her my name was Double Take and that I lived in the town. She asked where, and I said on the streets.  She gave me this look of confusion and asked how anypony could live like that. I told her that I simply had gotten by, and that was all.

She asked what I was doing out in the storm.  I asked her if I needed a reason given where I was living, and she nodded her head.  Then she asked why I lived on the streets.  The mare of the house interrupted there, as she had something to say.

***

He lived on the streets, that part was right. His name was Double Take. He has a bag full of papers. I decided he was slightly trustworthy with how much he let on.

Oh, but I was so rude! I forgot to introduce my sister and I, so I took the opportunity to do so then.

***

She told me their names were Rarity and Sweetie Belle.  Interesting.  She said that this was her boutique, and she was a tailor. Also interesting. It made me wonder how much her costs for each piece was, as I could use some new clothing, or at the very least, a hat.

Sweetie Belle told me she was a "Cutie Mark Crusader", but I have no idea what that means.  I was going to ask, but Rarity insisted we talk about something else.  I went along with it.  However, it made me wonder if this filly was going to ask about my cutie mark... and I really didn't want that to happen again.

That's when my thoughts were broken by a loud snarl.

***

I forgot about Opal Essence!  I guess she was just waiting to play with the new pony that arrived.

***

I have to say, these ponies have quite the cat.  It growled at me throughout my stay in the place, but wouldn't touch me because I was wet.  I guess it makes sense, given cats don't like water.  I wonder how it would feel being out in the storm. Perhaps it would be more submissive if it was put out there for a few minutes.  The thing acted like it owned the place, and it did not like any visitor, that’s for sure.

Anyway, the cat wasn't a problem as much as the conversation was.  Every time I tried to think of something interesting to talk about, I drew a blank.  I guess I'm so used to short conversations I never planned on this kind of situation.  I used to be very long-winded, but having one's lung collapse, as mine did on the day of the mass-murder, it kind of takes away from that a bit.

I heard as the rain that was hitting the roof stopped making noise, and the sun began to shine through the window.

***

I bid the pony good-bye as he walked out into the sun. His mane and coat seemed cleaner due to the natural shower he had before, but his mane looked like it needed brushing... if he ever got to that.

I don't think he knew what to say other than good-bye. He didn't talk much. I just offered him a stay at my home out of generosity, that's all it really was. He's quite the strange one... perhaps Twilight would like to hear about him. He'd most definitely make for some perfect gossip!

***

The storm subsided, and it replaced with a wet, yet sunny, day.  A rainbow was in the sky due to the condensation in the air.  It's one of those things that you see and think it makes life worth living.

But when I think of life, I cannot help but think about its dark counterpart, death. The other side. The light at the end of the tunnel.

I forgot to write about all of that. Where did I leave off at...?

Ah, yes.  The nightmares.  I forgot to talk about the most important part of them. The ending. You thought that it ended with my death?  Think again.

The other side.  It is the one place where you are not safe, yet also the only place one can find sanctuary.  In my dreams, I find myself unable to control myself, walking towards the light. Of course, I would never do such a thing if it were the real situation... if one can call it that.

Then, I wake up. I wonder where I've been all this time, and sure enough, it seems to be in the corner of some alley, as always. No surprises there.

The only thing is, I don't... feel awake, but I know I most certainly am.  It's like my life truly is one big dream. I hope it isn't though. Waking up from a dream like this would probably drive me mad thinking about the inception.

Today, I ponder these things, but the next, I already know it all.  Perhaps my more informed half would be able to answer such questions.

The day hasn't ended yet, so I walk amongst those who were previously shacked up in their homes. Some of them are talking about the manticore and the losses, others are discussing the weather pony's work, and even more are talking about... rhubarb? It's hard to tell.

I got a little too close to the library again today, as I saw that purple pony eyeing me again. She won't say anything, I'm sure, but I know she still wants her questions answered. In due time, she will get what she wants. Just not now.

The reason I'm talking about this is not because I cared how she felt (not that I didn't care, just because that isn't what this is about), but because I saw that Rarity pony walking up to her.  They exchanged greetings, and Rarity started talking about something... in what looked like a very serious manner.

I should've run right then and there. Rarity knew this pony? Well, it's probably a good thing that I didn't say anything importa--

...

Shit.

It doesn't matter what I was talking about, only that two ponies now fully acknowledge my existence, and they both knew each other before now.

This is why bad things get worse: a pony makes a harmless decision that soon turns into something more than that. Just like with my brother and the forest...

Wait a minute... those two are walking towards me now. I will continue my writing when I can, but for now--

***

Finally, a little backstory on this guy. It took long enough for somepony to finally get onto this.

Rarity said that Mr. Take went her house today to escape the storm. So even he cannot handle these conditions. That should rule out the whole alien theory I was making after wasting a tissue box on emotions.

Anyway, I told her about him and his mysterious nature, and she instantly found the guy to be the biggest talk she could've heard.    She planned to take it to the newspaper and see if they couldn't make a story of it.  I don't know if it will help, but it’s worth a try.

She spotted him standing nearby, and we both walked towards him. He was writing something, but I don't know what.  As soon as he saw us, he bolted.

Now, all of this may seem very unimportant, but it wasn't the running that caught me.  It was that he was writing.  If I could just get my hooves on his notes...

Yes, that has to be where I can find out the most information about him.  Rarity said he had a bag of papers with him.  I'll search through that, and I'll have my answers.

I can't take them, though. No, that's just too... illegal, in my mind, to be stealing. I have to find some way to make him give up those notes on his own.

And from what I know, that means I need to be his friend! I came here to study friendship, and if I let this experiment run its course, I should know more than enough about it!

Now let's see... how did I meet the friends I have now? ... A party! That's right! Pinkie Pie could throw him one! Yeah, that makes enough sense, I suppose. I'll talk to her about it, and my plan will be set! Double Take, prepare to have the time of your life!

***

Every instinct inside of me is telling me to run, run as far away from this place as I can. I don't want to. I don't have to. I can't go.

I didn't go.

I found an alley to hide out in.  Not my usual place, but it will have to do.  I calmed myself.  The situation hasn't gotten that bad yet. No, no, I was only scaring myself over it.  I just need to calm... down...

There.  That's it.  I've got this... I think.  Yeah, I do...

Okay, I need a plan.  I just let two ponies about me, one after another, and they were friends, and I'm bucked!

I can't... I don't... these conditions are not suitable for writing.  I must solve this, and then continue my note-taking.  My better half will be back before I know it...

I lay my quill down here... hopefully to be picked up at the soonest possible time to write again.

The Party

It's been a long day. This is the first time I've gotten to write in the course of a day.

What happened today... was interesting to say the least.

Yesterday, after having to calm myself about the situation, I noticed that those two ponies weren't following me.  Probably a good thing, too. The rest of the day I spent scavenging for food.  Unsuccessfully.

I woke up to the sound of the town bustling. I slept late, the first time in a month or so. No nightmares. Unlike how tonight will be.

I'm getting ahead of myself. The town was bustling, as I've said, but that wasn't a big deal. It's what they were talking about that worried me.  A party.

They say that everypony was invited, but I knew that wasn't true.  I received no invitation.  Perhaps they still haven't noticed me, that I was safe. I decided to think this thought for a while.

I stopped paying attention to the town, and I just wandered.  With this existing gap in between events, I think it's time to get back on topic.

Death is a horrible business.  When I save ponies, I save them from themselves.  That means that they are retaliating against me as I do my best to keep them alive.

You see, everypony's consciousness is different.  Some are very accepting of help, and let me in no problems had.  Others avoid me like the plague. It all depends.  The last one I saved, the one run over by the manticore?  That one was actually rejecting my presence.  That meant it was very hard to keep that pony alive.

I don't understand it.  Why do they resist?  Do they know that if they do, they will die?  I think they do not, for the other side is superstition to them. They should believe now, as they have stared death in the eye and survived.

But then the question in the back of my mind rises again and asks me how I ever survived the stabbing. I couldn't have just helped myself, could I? Who was there to keep me alive?

I draw a blank when I try to answer this question. There was nopony to save me then. Perhaps it was just a stroke of luck that I survived something like that. I feel sorry for myself that I have to believe such a ridiculous thing, but it's the only explanation.

My mind is being attacked by the fact that the real world situation ties to this, so let's skip to later today. I went back to my little alleyway to find that the party that was planned for today was happening in the building on the left of it.  I was surprised. Nopony comes over to this side of the town.

As I entered my little alley when I felt myself get pulled off to the side and blindfolded. Not much of a surprise, actually. I was expecting this to happen. Foresight is my sixth sense. That is, if I didn't already have one.

I was lead over into the house, and the blindfold was removed.

"SURPRISE!"

The loud shout came from a pink pony with a curly mane. She was... how do I put it...

***

Pinkie, you've done it again!  The perfect surprise party!

I totally surprised him! Yeah, I did! Total surprise! PARTY!

***

Ah, there's the word. Predictable.  When I heard there was a party, and I knew nothing special was going on, I could only assume it would come to this.

Pinkie Pie.  Everypony knew her, even I did.  She planned parties, attended parties, and somehow got money for all the supplies for parties.  I've always wondered where.

I saw her during the winter wrap-up.  I think she was cutting up the ice.  Probably.  I just imagine her being able to skate.

***

I put so much time into planning this party!  It took forever!  I can't believe he's here!

Wait!  I don't even know him that well yet!  NO TIME FOR WRITING!

***

The pink party pony hopped over to me.

"Well? Isn't it great? I planned this party just for you!"

She was ecstatic about it all.  I was the complete opposite about it.  This party was probably the worst thing that has happened to me, and that's saying something coming from a guy who's died more time than he can remember.

I wanted to leave, but when I turned around, she was standing there.  Creepy, but not enough to make me flinch.  I've got nerves of steel, as they say.  She told me to enjoy the party a bit.

I think I recall how the conversation went.

"C'mon, Takey wakey! Enjoy the party a bit!"

"Takey... wakey...?"

"Look, look, look! I made you a cake, too! And Gummy came to party, too!"

"Gummy?"

She pointed to a little alligator... or crocodile... I can never tell the difference. It was just standing in the middle of the room.

"Yeah! Party hard, Gummy!"

I gave her this look that was supposed to mean "What the buck?", but I'm sure she misinterpreted it.  She dragged me all around, almost forcing me do all of the party activities.  I didn't like it.  Not one bit.

I decided I had enough, and went to go check and see if the punch was spiked.  Confound these ponies... they drive me to drink.  I was going to pick up the ladle when Pinkie popped out of the punch bowl.

"Hey, Takey wakey! Didn’t see you standing there! You enjoying the party?"

I sighed and knew it was over. My life was finally going to end, and this party pony was going to be the one to end it out of sheer annoyance.  That's saying a lot coming from a pony like me.  I don't know why, but her one question then made me uncork my feelings like a champagne bottle.

"Pinkiemena Dianne Pie," I said, "this party is not making me feel good in any way.  The games, the cake, the punch, and everypony here combined will not change my mood. I'm leaving."

She seemed to be in both shock and awe of me.  I didn't wait for her reaction to such a statement.  I simply up and left the place before anypony else could see what I had done.

***

But... but... the surprise and... and the... the games...

Where did I go wrong? Were there not enough balloons? Did he not like the games?

Was my party really... not fun?

I don't... I don't understand... I couldn't make him happy... I feel like crying...

***

The party plan, for all it was worth, was ended and off the table as soon as I saw Pinkie's mane deflate.  Double Take was harsh, I knew that much, but to get to her head like that was... cruel, and very much uncalled for. However, not all is lost. This pony has feeling like all the rest of us.  He'll come back because of his own guilt.

As for now, though, the girls and I are trying to cheer up Pinkie.  She seems to be taking the whole thing really hard.

That's not what concerns me the most.  What really makes me worried is Double Take himself.  Is he just a cruel pony, one nopony should ever try to be friends with, or was this... something else?  I can't tell, and without his notes, it makes things just that much harder.

But then there's the scariest part...

***

I knew Pinkie Pie's full name. How the hell did I know Pinkie's full name???

I have never known Pinkie.  Never.  A pony like her couldn't have known a pony like me.  For buck's sake, I grew up in a small town near Fillyapolis!  I didn't know anypony named Pinkiemena!  What the buck is going on here???

My power must be out of control!  But... but how?  This has never, I repeat, never happened before!  Bucking hell, where is my all-knowing side when I need him?!

***

After quite the pep talk from Applejack, Pinkie got back to her usual self... slowly, but surely.  The party was probably a bad idea in the first place... it probably doesn't bring friends together, anyway...

Hold on... what did I just say?

The party wasn't... that wasn't what brought us six together! It was the Elements! Wait a minute, wait just one minute now... does he know?!  Is he like Luna, a good pony's mind trapped in a bad pony's body?  Or was that the other way around?  He could be just the same.  I'll never know until I see those notes!

So many more theories, I can't even begin to put them all in place... this is astounding the number of possible things that could be this pony's true nature.  I'll have to make a list.  In the meantime, I should really help with the party cleanup... bad memories won't clear away themselves.

***

I didn't mean to do what I did in there, it's just... I knew it was a ploy from the beginning.

This Twilight pony is trying to get to me through my emotions, and she's done a helluva job so far.  The crying, the drama, and the guilt that should be building up in my stomach any minute now... it was and is all part of her plan for me to tell her what I know. But I must remain resilient if I am to get through this!  I must learn how to channel these emotions to someplace other than my mind. I can't let them get to me. Emotions are only annoying, persistent distractions.

I have to stop writing and contemplate how tomorrow should go.  I have a lot to catch up on with the truth, and I have to find out what the hell my powers are doing when I know something I clearly couldn't have known.  Thus, I end my writings here.

***

Twi said I gotta write something about today. Not sure why, but she's been having everypony else do it, too.  Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, even Fluttershy's in one this one.  So here I go.

Today, I talked Pinkie out of the whole situation with that pony they call Double Take, tellin' her it ain't her fault, and that he was just bein' mean.  She feels better now, but something's got to be done about that pony.  It's too late to smack some sense into him today, but tomorrow... he better be ready for learnin' one heck of a lesson from all this.

That lesson is for him to never, ever hurt my friends feelings again.

A Deadly Business

I'm trying to forget the party from last night, but something keeps bringing me back to it.  I don't understand what.  Maybe it's the death.

Okay, nopony died, but that doesn't mean death doesn't relate to this.  My power is based off of it, after all.  Thus, I've come to a conclusion.  A very sad conclusion, at that.  Pinkie's father is dead.

He's been dead for a long while.  I must've reminded her of him somehow, and that triggered memories of his death.  That's how I knew her name.

I knew it because when she saw me, she saw her father.  For a moment, a very brief moment, I knew what he had known.  I also suspect that he wasn't the nicest father, as my rage was not my own.  I must've experienced his thoughts towards her.  What I said there was from his mind, not my own, and I cannot take responsibility for it.

Not that I won't have to.  Everypony there believes that I was the one who meant to say those words, that I actually meant to feel that emotion.  That's why I felt so out of control: because I really wasn't in control.

But that isn't all that happened.

Last night I had a dream.  Not a nightmare, a dream.  I dreamt I was a rock farmer, and that I was tending to the farm.  I have to say, it was really strange.  First, I had no idea rock farm existed, but now I know.  Second, I lived in the place.  I saw a filly with a long, straight, faded pink mane that hung towards the ground.  It was quite depressing, really.

"I moved the rocks from the North to the West side, father." she said.

"Good.  Now, we need the rocks in the South fields moved to the East fields.  Do you think you can handle that?" I asked her.

"Yes, father."

She walked off to do her work.  The poor family lived like this every day, moving rocks from one place to another. But today was no normal day. Suddenly, a giant blast of sound resonated through the sky, and I turned around.  I saw nothing in the sky, but it sounded like it came from the East fields.  I worried and began to run towards the fields. I looked all around, but the filly was nowhere to be seen. Hopefully nothing bad happened to her, and perhaps she was still in the southern fields. I checked there as well, but my daughter was nowhere to be found.

I told my wife about the situation. She became worried too, and gathered the other children to make sure nothing had happened to them.  We were just about to search for her when they heard a strange noise coming from the silo.  Music.  I looked over at it to see what was going on.  I saw the same little filly with a curly, pink mane pop out of a doorway nearby.

"C'mon, you guys! You have to see this!"

I walked forward in my dream. I opened the door, and suddenly...

The light.  I saw the light.  I was forced to walk towards it.

I assume that was the memory of Pinkie's father, but the light would mean... I doubt he died right then and there.

But if not, then why was there the light? And why then? I guess dreams are just weird like that.

I need to know the truth behind it all.  Every time, the light appears.  Every nightmare, every dream, every time I have to wake up.  Why?

I don't know, and I intend to find out.  Oh, but I forgot the most important part!  It was--

***

Went on a little excursion today to solve that problem from yesterday.  Found that pony, Double Take.  He was alone, writin' something or other.  When he wasn't lookin' I apple-bucked his head.  Went out like a light.  I snuck him away from town and into the Everfree Forest.  Didn't go too far in, just far enough for him to be in some serious trouble when he wakes up... if he wakes up.  He got what was comin' to him if you ask me.

Oh, I heard Twi wanted some of his notes and somesuch, so I snatched away with some of those, too.  I think she'll be happy to see those notes after all this time spent tryin' to get them from him.

***

I find myself in a peculiar predicament.  I seem to be somewhere outside of town, in a forest of some sort.  I heard about this place, but I never have seen it with my own two eyes.  They fear this place, but... it is truly nature at its finest.  Everything has been left alone, giving it both the time and the resources to thrive without any help at all.  They fear it because of the monsters they say, and that is the only thing that worries me.  Will I run into some of these frightening beasts?  If so, I hope I can escape them, and that I don't drop these notes.

Wait... my notes... the bag...

Oh dear...

***

Applejack burst into the library today.  (Side note:  Why is it that people can't calmly enter my house? Rainbow Dash flies in through my window and knocks things down, Applejack barges in through the doorway, Pinkie shouts every time she enters... Something to think about next time I write.)  She said she had the notes from Double Take with her. I was incredibly happy to hear that, and asked her how she got to be friends with him so quickly.

She gave me this look like she had no idea what I was talking about.

"You didn't know that was the plan, did you?" I asked her.

"You actually wanted to be friends with a jerk like him?  After the way he treated Pinkie the other day?"

She was right, what he said was outright rude and impolite, but... we kind of sprung the party up on him.  Some ponies don't like surprises like that.  Moreover, Pinkie can be a little excitable.  Adding onto that, what he said couldn't have been his own words.  Nopony really knew Pinkie's full name until now, so how did he figure it out so quickly?  These things I have to know, and just because he was rude just... two, maybe three times doesn't mean he shouldn't be treated any lesser than a regular pony.  He could just be having a problem he's keeping away from us, or some underlying cause of his uncontrollable nature.

I told this to Applejack, but she wasn't convinced.

"Twi, you're letting him off easy. He wasn't nice at the party, and he's never been nice to anypony!"

I told her about his stay at Rarity's and how polite he was then.

"Well, whatever feelings he's got for Rarity he better keep to himself!  That pony doesn't belong!  He's just cruel, and I won't be havin' none of that 'round these parts!"

I noticed she sidetracked me from the beginning, so I asked a different question to her.

"How did you get the notes, then, if you weren't being friendly?"

She looked away from me, saying nothing.

"Applejack? What did you do to him to make him give you these notes?"

She continued to stay quiet about it.

"Silence is just another form of lying, Applejack. You're the representative of Honesty, so be honest with me! What did you do--?"

"I kicked him, okay?! Right in his... stupid little head!  I brought him out to the middle of the forest and left him there!  I took his notes after that!"

She continued to look away from me.  Psychology rule number one: if they are looking away, they are most likely lying or not giving the whole truth.

"And?" I asked.

"I may or may not have left some stuff nearby him to attract timber-wolves..."

I was shocked.  My own friend, doing this to somepony?

"Applejack! We were supposed to get this peacefully!  Now who knows if we'll ever get him to cooperate at all with what you've done!"

"I know it was wrong!  It's just the way he treated Pinkie--"

"-- was not as bad as the way you treated him today!  Applejack, you are going with me to the forest, and you are bringing him back and apologizing for the mess you've made of things!"

She looked me straight in the eyes.  "Twi, even though I did him wrong, he did us wrong more times than that.  I'm tellin' ya now: don't you even think of bringing him back to break more ponies' hearts."

"Fine then.  Don't come with me.  I'll find him myself and then we'll have a discussion about this later.  Right now, he could be fearing for his life out there, and I've no time to sit around.  Good-bye, Applejack."

I teleported away after that.  Double Take was in trouble, and although he wasn't the most likeable pony at the moment, I was not going to let him die out there... even if he can come back from that.

***

The Everfree is a dangerous place, I'll say that much. I saw a pack (or maybe it's a pride?) of manticores stalking about the place, as well as some creatures I can't even begin to describe.

The other animals seem generally harmless, though.  The birds still fly overhead, and the squirrels scurry about, as per usual.  It's nice if you just stay out of the danger zone.  However, one thing has been bothering me.  A pack of timber-wolves seem to have been following my trail, and I'm not sure why.  I fear that they will catch up to me and make short work of my living flesh.  Their howls grow closer and closer by the minute.

Outrunning them won't be an option.  I'll have to hide under the cover of some foliage if I want to survive.  That, or break the trail somewhere.  I haven't decided, but I'll have to soon.  The howl I heard just now came from a place that was a little too close for comfort.

***

I searched for hours.  The guy could've been anywhere in this forest!  He could've been dead!  But I found him all right.  And it was good timing, too.

***

Twilight saved my life.

I was stuck in the forest for hours trying to find the exit (my magic was depleted by the kick in the head, so teleporting was out of the question), but before I could, those timber-wolves attacked me! One pinned me to the ground while the rest circled and waited for the Alpha to take the first bite.

It opened its jaws wide, and I prepared to be in excruciating pain.  Death is nothing more than a transition, so pain is all one feels before they go to the other side to start again, or in my case, continue the story.  I did not fear death itself.

I felt as the beast was thrown off of me, and saw Twilight standing somewhere nearby, horn flaring with magical energy as she blasted those things back and away from me.  One by one, they ran away.

I decided I should get up and thank my savior.

Worst.  Idea.  Ever.

***

The timber-wolves my not have eaten him, but he wasn't unscathed.  The logs they were made out of... one of them must've protruded from the claw, or perhaps it was the claw, as I saw him try to rise, he fell to the ground and shouted in agony.  I saw as the crimson liquid flowed out from his body, originating from a giant gash in his left side.  He tried to rise again, only to fall back on the ground.  He didn't have much time left.  I did the one thing I could think of to do right then.

***

It was refreshing this time of the year.  The fall winds whipped around me, and I marveled at the beautiful landscape before me.  In my view stood a mountain, and a forest lying beneath it, with the perfect amount of sunlight to make in glint off the top of the ice-capped rock.  Amazing.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

I didn't jump at her voice.  I was expecting it.  She was always waiting for me.

"Quite." was my reply. Simple, meaningful, and never enough to satisfy her craving.

"I thought you'd be here.  I felt your presence nearby.  I had to see if you'd really be here." she said, walking towards me.

"Well, here I am."

"You never really were that talkative, were you? You need to speak your mind a little bit more, Impression."

"Hm."

She knelt down next to me, and I felt her mane brush on my shoulder.  I took a minute to take in the moment, to allow her time to adjust to me again.

"You've been gone for so long."

"So have you."

The sun began to fall beneath the horizon, and I felt her push up next to me.

"The nights are cold around here.  Why don't you come home with me?  We'll sit by the fire, have a little chat... "  She was whispering these words into my ear.  I looked over at her, seeing the image of perfection.

I nuzzled in a little more. "Perhaps. If time allows."

"You're not staying?"

"I would if I could, but I have feeling that my time will soon be up."

"You haven't even been here for more than a minute! C'mon, stay here with me. I don't want to lose you again."

"I'm so sorry..." was all I could muster. I felt her touch begin to fade, as well as myself.  I felt as the world disappeared, and as I fell into the light.

///

I opened my eyes, only to have them close again. I blinked a few times as my ears began to hear again.

"How's he doing? Is he going to be okay?"

"He took quite the slice there.  The timber-wolf really hit him hard.  We're keeping a close eye on him, we'll let you know if his condition changes."

I didn't know the mare's voice, but yet it was all so familiar.  I've heard it before, but not with my own ears.

I groaned as my eyes succeeded in opening beyond a squint.  The mare ran over to me.

"Sir? Sir! You're awake! Um, okay... this is going to hurt for just a second."

I felt as a hypodermic needle was stuck into my foreleg, injecting something into me, and exited again.

"Sorry, we didn't expect you to be up so early.  Tell me, what happened to you?"

"Wait, didn't I just--" the second voice tried to interject.  It was clearly Twilight's.

"Timber... wolves..." I managed to say.  I took several deep breaths.  I tried my luck again to get up, but a pair of hooves pushed me back down again.

"Oh-ho-ho, no you don't.  If you move muscle, it might tear what we just patched up. You don't want that to happen, right?"

"Of course..." I said in a little whisper.

"Good.  Now, the doctor says you can talk to him to jog his memory a bit.  Make sure he doesn't have any signs of amnesia.  Don't want him in the mental ward after that’s all done healing."

"Got it."

"Okay. If anything happens--"

"He'll be fine."

"Alright, just making sure..."

I heard her walk away.

"Nice nurse, eh?" I said with a little laugh. "It's like I could feel her giving me 'the eye'."

"Yeah, well... she's the best in the business, as they say.  You do remember what happened right?"

"Damn timber-wolves... they tracked me down.  Followed my trail.  I wasn't expecting them to find me so soon."

I thought I heard her whisper something under her breath. She spoke directly, "Well then it's good I found you when I did, right?"

"Not really.  A couple hours back would've been nice, too." I said, half-jokingly.

"How did you get there, anyway?"

I wanted to tell her about my attacker.  I did.  I'm just not sure what to say.  If I mentioned I was attacked, I might have to go into court at some point... meaning more unwanted attention.  However, I could also just not press charges...

"You know what?  It doesn't matter.  Here," she said, "These are yours."

She hooved me a few papers.  They were my notes, the ones she was after.  How did she end up with these?

"How--?"

"I was given them.  I didn't read them, if you're wondering.  A friend of mine... found them, nearby were you usually stay."

So they knew where I was staying, and they had the notes.  I let my luck ride and asked a question.

"Why me?"

"Don't we all ask that question?"

There was no need for suspicion; I knew who had done this to me.

"Why?" I looked her in the directly in the eyes.  She hesitated, opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again, biting her lip.

"Twilight... tell me... was it you who brought me to this fate?"

"NO!" she shouted, then realized it and lowered her tone. "I mean, no.  I didn't do this to you.  Why would I do this to you?"

"Then who did, and why?"

***

I didn't want to place blame on my friend.  That would be wrong to do.  However, not telling him would be wrong to do as well.  I had a decision to make here: Blame myself, or blame my friend?

I couldn't risk the consequences.  I rode my luck into the conversational warfare.

***

"All right, I... it was me," she sighed.

"It's all right... Thank you." I said.

***

Wait, I was forgiven? Not only that, but thanked?

"Why? What did I do?" I asked him.

He raised his head to look at me. "I was at peace... if only for a moment, I was at peace..." He smiled, let his head droop back down, and went to sleep.  He needed the rest after all that happened to him.

Speaking of which, I should rest up, too.  I've stayed up a little later than usual to finish this part.  I will pick up my quill tomorrow, hopefully with good news about Double Take's recovery.

The Hospital, Her, and the Other Side

Another pony would've died today.  Jumping right into things here, I know, but it's important.  This pony was in the hospital, and was the one in the second bed in the room.  I had not noticed her until now, but I have to say, it would be hard not to.  I heard her shout, and then silence.  A nurse rushed in.

"Doctor! Doctor!" I heard her shout, as she ran back out into the hall.  Another mare followed her in.  She wore what looked to be a white lab coat, and her mane was tied back into a bun.  Not sure if that's important, but still worth mentioning.

"What happened?"

"She screamed and then… she's not breathing!"

I took this opportunity to see what was going on.  I left my own body and travel over to the one nearby.  Cardiac arrest, it seems, caused by some heart condition...  Not sure how I knew that, but I know I knew it... if that makes any sense.

This pony wasn't your usual case.  She had a full-body cast, like one would see it some movie, only it was real.  Any attempt at CPR would probably break her ribcage and damage the internal organs, and an AED would be needed... if she wasn’t covered in casts, that would probably work.

Luckily, it's these kinds of deaths that I can truly save a pony from.  If their heart has stopped, it's only a matter of time before she's really dead, when the electricity stimulating the brain's functions are stopped...  unless someone gives her that spark to start her heart up again.

I saw her standing before the light.  She faced it, and was walking towards it.  I couldn't speak, I only pushed her back and away from it, trying to stop her from a fate she can't have.

She retaliated.  I feared she would.  She didn't want to live anymore; she wanted to go into the light, to end the pain she had been in.

She didn't stop.  She kept moving trying to move towards the light.  They can't see me, and never do they know what is stopping them.

Her pace slowed, and soon she came to a halt, right next to the light...

***

I just received the call (Side note: Yeah, there are telephones in Equestria, but everypony doesn't like using them because it's so hard to pick up the actual phone.) from the hospital that Double Take was dead.

"Dead?  You're quite sure?"

"Very sure, I'm sorry to say.  His vitals cut almost a few minutes ago, and there was no saving him.  I'm sorry."

"Well... thank you.  Please, if you would, just put his body in the morgue.  There won't be any other services required."

There was a moment of silence.  I must've scared the nurse with my direct lack of care.  He wasn't dead, I was sure of it.

"Very well... we'll, uh... be right on that."

She hung up right then and there.

***

I pushed her further from the light, and  I felt as her very being disappear.  In a few seconds, I would be pushing nothing but open space.

Don't think of space at a time like this.  The last time you did that, you lost the pony... I reminded myself.  It was such a hypocritical statement.

I thought about pushing air instead.  When I felt no resistance coming from the other pony, and I saw she was not there anymore, it was only then that I stopped.  Such a simple act to save a pony, one might say, but when I write it, it sounds much simpler than it actually is.  Now there was only one thing left to do: return to my own body.

***

"Vital signs are up!  She made it!"

"All right, that's good.  If she was out any longer, she would be dead."

"It's too bad we couldn't save... wait... look at that!"

"His vitals are up... and stable?  But how?!"

"Sir? Sir, can you hear me?"

They discussed the situation, but I knowing the real situation, it was hard not to just...

"Do I look dead to you two?  I sure as hell don't feel dead." I asked sarcastically.

The two were shocked beyond belief.  "We're, uh... we're going to have to go talk to our superiors about all this..."

They left the room.  I didn't feel comforted by what they had said.

It was time for me to get out, and quick.

I got up, feeling a slight bit of pain in my side, and I focused on where I needed to teleport.  The middle of town would probably be good, but I need somewhere more specific.  Running around with a wound this big that was still healing would need someplace in town, but a little more discrete.  The alleyway might work, but... I had doubts.  So, I teleported to the one place I did know that was safe and out of the way.

***

The hospital called me again, this time telling me Double Take was alive.  I tried to act surprised, but I kind of saw this happening.

"Double was just fine after we had just saved another pony after her heart quit out.  It's really strange, and the doctors and I think we should put him in for extensive testing."

"That won't be necessary." I replied. "The machine probably just turned off or something while he was sleeping.  It's no big deal."

"But I could've sworn--"

"Listen to me for a second.  What makes more sense to you: a pony randomly dying and coming back to life, or a pony whose heart rate monitor disconnected for a minute or two?"

"But a pony did do that!  She was the other one we were saving!"

"Well then, does it make more sense that two ponies would do that at the exact same time?"

"No, I guess not... I'll talk my superiors out of it.  Thanks for making me see things in the right light.  I think I assumed a bit too much when I said I saw what I thought I saw.  Good-bye, Ms., Sparkle."

"Good-bye."

***

I've been writing too much about my saving and my "escape" that I almost forgot what I told myself to write about today.

Her.

When I was on the verge of death the other day, I thought it might be over.  So, I took my chances to go see her.  It's a rare phenomenon that I can't explain.  I don't go into the light, I say, but it comes down to it, I've lied.  I have gone over before.

And it is beautiful.

I tried to describe it in my previous writing, but something seemed... lacking.  There was no color, no texture, no... emotion.  It's the one place I allow myself to express some feelings... as backwards as that sounds due to these last few days.  Never would I have found myself expressing as much emotion on the oth-- I mean, on this side.  It seems I am stumbling over my own words, and writing with ink and a quill doesn't help with that.

Anyway, where was I?  Her, yes, Her... She is the only one who understands my true side.  I talk, She listens, sometimes it's the other way around, and we generally just enjoy each other's company.  That is, when the time is long enough.  The longest time I spent with her was... well, that was during my recovery from the stabbing.  It took me about a year to recover from my injuries, and on the other side, that translates to about the same amount of time.  Time on this side moves much faster than that of the other side for one reason or another, though.  I expect that the other side has a larger planet, or something of the like, that takes longer for days to pass.  That's logic right there.

But the other side isn't exactly logical... not in every aspect of it.  I feel the days there are much longer than the days here, that every minute is longer, that time itself has slowed.  I found the sun and the moon moved on their own, life was tranquil, and everything was provided as needed in that world.  There was no ruler of the lands, no government, no laws, no currency either, yet there was also no war, no violence, no evil... there was a general sense of true peace, something this side has yet to see.  I find that many dark essences lurk everywhere around here, including in the hearts of the inhabitants of this side.

However, it is not always the case when I enter the other side.  There is only a slim chance I will get the timing right, and that the world I speak of appears.  Most of the time it is just a white world, filled with nothingness that should await me if I return at the wrong time.  That is why I keep away from the light.

And that is why I keep others away from it as well.  I can't risk them being lost in a world of nothingness.

I have to return to that world... the one where everything is so perfect, so right, so much better.

What's this?  I look at my notes and see I wrote Impression as my name... it's been so long since I was called that.  First Impression... that's my name on the other side.  I should probably add, I don't mean "so long", as She puts it, time-wise... on the other side, I've been gone for maybe a month, instead of a year.  Yes, that seems like a good time ratio there.  My other ways of explaining it seem a little hard to take in.

It lasted only about a minute, though.  That translates to 12 minutes, enough time for Twilight to teleport us to the hospital and for them to stitch me up.  It may seem like a short time, but the nurse and doctor were truly "the best in the business", as Twilight told me.  I'd expect them to make it a quick job, with the aid of a unicorn as experienced as Twilight.

I'm no idiot, I know a good magic-user when I see one, and with the way she drove off the wolves, I would say she knows quite a bit about it.

Speaking of which... no, I cannot mention that.  Not yet.

While the other side is a major time of visit, one may have noticed it could also go the other way around.  She can visit me, and through death, just as I visit Her.  Only, it's very hard to die in the other world, and suicide is not the answer, as we all should know by now.

But we can't do it all the time.  Only in the spring... or the fall, depending on which side one is on.  I have already written about that, I do recall... ah, yes it was a fall day on the other side, and it is a spring day here.  The perfect match up of time.  Then again, it will last for another two year's springs, due to the time difference.  The seasons last much longer there, too... or rather the same length of time, just stretched out.  What I'm trying to say is that they have the three-month change for seasons, just like on this side.

On the first day of summer or winter (again, depending on the side), the connection will be cut, and I will no longer have the correct match-up of time to go back.  There are more prerequisites to getting to the other side, ones I cannot mention here.

Twilight told me she did not read my notes.  For this, I am thankful, and I trust her... however, trying to kill me before... that makes me a little worried, though I think she's learned her lesson.  Yet, I have this strange feeling inside me... something that tells me she was not truthful with me in some way.  Did she read the notes?  Was it that tempting to do so?  Or is it another thing that bothers me?

Perhaps it is... no, I've already said I cannot write that yet, as much as I want to.

That secret is far too important to state now, and far less within anypony's understanding.

***

I talked to Applejack today about her actions, and Double Take's reactions.  She was surprised at how well he took it, but she felt bad about it all.  I told her she could offer to pay his medical bills, as he had no money, and she had a successful farming business.  She sighed and something along the lines of  "I suppose so", and left without another word.

I was disappointed in her, but... it almost sounded like this is what Double wanted.  He wanted to stay on his toes, to stare into the heart of darkness... maybe he imagines himself as some kind of hero, in a sense.  If so, he doesn't really show it.

If he learned a thing or two about exaggerating, maybe some real thoughts would come from it, instead of the bland old words coming from his mouth all the time.  I wonder if he writes in a manner that is better...

No, I told myself I cannot read his notes until he allows for it.  He knows more about death and surviving it, and he knows when the time is right to tell me about it.  I will simply have to play my part and stick with the plan: become Double Take's friend.

I've noticed I've been taking my approach to the situation the wrong way.  The mistake I made was assuming that this would go smoothly, that he would give up such important information without a doubt in his mind.  It is more than apparent this is not true, and I will have to work hard to get him to share his knowledge with me.

However, I have learned quite a bit about him.  He is not sad to be living alone, he actually prefers it.  He does not seek help from others, and will tend to do things his own way without drawing any attention to himself.  He also likes when it rains, but the rain does not like him, as the saying goes.  Or at least, I think he likes the rain... he didn't seem to want to avoid being in it, that's for sure.

Hold on, I just heard Applejack burst through the doorway again.  I'd better go see what she wants.

***

I had teleported away from the hospital, onto the outskirts of town.  I didn't see anypony there.  Good.  I didn't look around; I knew where I was.  I was in front of Sweet Apple Acres.

I don't know how long I've been stealing away their apples for food.  It’s been longer than I can imagine.  I go here every time I can't find food in town, or if nopony offers me any.

This time, I wasn't here for food.  I was here to leave this town.

Sweet Apple Acres is so far out of the way, I don't think anypony would've noticed me.  So from here, I will leave this town and start anew in another until the time is right to return.  Good-bye, Ponyvi--

Wait... the connection is still there... I can feel it...

Can't you stay, Impression?  We've got so much to catch up on...

Now was my time.  Now, I could finally die, knowing my destination is true!  I can finally go back after all these years!  YES!

But the writings are not finished!  Oh, what a choice to make... to help an entire world of ponies, or just myself?  If only the decision wasn't so hard to make...

Oh... oh, but I see the choice is already made for me... my destiny, decided by that of this world.  In my blood it tells me so, for it seems my wound is not as closed as it was before...

***

Applejack told me Double wasn't at the hospital, and that he vanished when nopony was looking.  They assume he had teleported somewhere.  Where he went is the part they don't know.  They also said his temporary stitching was supposed to be replaced by now.  Not good.

Pardon me when I say Celestia damn it!  Why couldn't he just stay in one place?  Did they scare him off or something?  Or even worse, did they surprise him?  I know how much he hates surprises now.

This isn't good.  I have no idea where he could've gone, and why he would leave... I don't want to have to go out searching for him again, but it seems I have to, but this time I've got more than just myself on this.  Applejack agreed to help, so that reduces the time... I can only assume he's somewhere in Ponyville.

Last time, I got lucky finding him... I hope I can be just as lucky this time around.  The only problem I'll have if I find him is I can't bring him back to the hospital if he refuses to go back... I'll have to take care of him myself... or maybe somepony a little more medically trained could do so... and I think I know just the pony for the job.

***

The day is so calm and nice, even when it came to a close this evening.  I just got done feeding the chickens, and was ready to go back inside when I heard something shout out from not too far away.  It sounded like it was from Sweet Apple Acres, so I ran as fast as I could to see what the matter was.

I found a pony lying on the ground.  He was wounded... very much so.  I stood in shock for a few seconds before I took action.  I was only a veterinarian, but this pony needed help, and soon.

I had Mr. Bear help me bring him over to the house, where I patched him up as best as I could.  Whatever happened to him was no accident... somepony did this on purpose.  I've never seen so much blood in my life... not that I'm afraid of it.  I have to be willing to help injured creatures, so I won't allow myself to be scared of something like that.

What did scare me was what he said.

"No!  NO!  Stop it! Stop it now!  I don't need your help, I don't need anypony's help, just STOP IT!  Let me see her again, please!  You don't understand!  SHE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!!"

He struggled against the needle I was using to stitch his wound up.  I had to restrain his movement.  If I wasn't so precise, he might've ended up in a much worse condition then he was in then.  I managed to close the wound and wrap it, just as he passed out from both blood loss and exhaustion.

***

Temporary insanity.

I forgot to mention that detail.

When I see the other side, a part of me is left behind in it, and a connection can sometimes be made.  This drives me to go to the other side, to believe that is where I truly belong.  Not that it isn't where I belong, but right now, more important things had to be done before my return.

This world needs to know, it needs to know a true peace that can never be broken.  All I've done in the past few days is impede my own progress towards my goal.  It makes me feel terrible knowing I can't go back yet, but it makes me feel even worse that I'm the one causing this delayed return.

I have to get this right, and the only way to do that is to stop putting myself in such dangerous situations.  Whenever I do get put into one, it only makes me want to go back.  The forest was no help in that, reminding me of better times on the other side...

Ugh, this isn't getting me anywhere.  All I write about is Her, and I need to stop writing, talking, and generally thinking about Her.  No more of these needless writings.  I need to clear my mind, let my thoughts subside, and write again about what really does matter: the truth.  For today, I am done.

***

The search went nowhere.  We didn't find DT, no matter where we looked. (DT was a nickname Applejack suggested for Double Take which I've grown fond of... the abbreviation, not the pony himself.)  We began to ask if anypony had seen him or heard from him or about his location.  We asked around everywhere, and after more than, I don't know, somewhere around four dozen ponies were asked, we gave up.  We started to think of the places we'd never find him in, as he was now under the category of "hiding".

He was in the last place we would ever think he could be.  Fluttershy's cottage.  Funny, because that was the place I was thinking of bringing him to once we found him.  We didn't need to ask if he'd been there.  We were sure that the blood covering Fluttershy was a clear sign that he had entered the place.

She told us she had patched him up (as she was washing out the blood from her mane) and that he was resting in another room.  When I asked how he was doing, she asked another question back.

"I don't really know... is he always that... crazy?"

A peculiar question, I asked what she meant by it.  She explained his mad ranting and his clear lack of wanting to live.  That did sound like him for a second, but I knew he wasn't crazy... right?  Wait, am I suggesting that he's suicidal when I put it like that?

I needed to talk to him again, but the night grew too late for conversing.  Tomorrow will have to do.  And I have some questions in mind for him, when I get the chance to ask.

Why does "she" matter?  Why was it he had to see "her" so badly?  Where was "she"?

Better question: Who is "she"?

Mistakes

The nightmares happened again last night.  I'm not surprised: I did save a pony yesterday.  I saw the moment of death, my brother,  and the light as I exited the nightmares, all as per usual.  I realized there's something very important that I forgot to mention...

The two sides work opposite from one another, but they are connected, for they are parallel universes.  Surprising?  Probably not.  Interesting?  Probably so.

Now, as one may notice, if we are of two universes intertwined, that also means that there are copies of ponies, from either side, that act in the exact in the same manner.  This pony, Fluttershy, has a counterpart on the other side.  She lives with the animals and tends to them in the wild, as this side would call it.  There is also another Rarity on the other side, always creating the finest clothes for everypony to wear, if they choose to wear clothes altogether.  However, she does not have a sister on the other side, or at least I haven't seen her yet.

But these are minor ponies.  These are nothing compared to what the other side has.  The "Princesses" of this land also have counterparts on the other side, but only in myth and legend.  They say the two alicorn sisters created the other side, as a place to take refuge away from the evil on this side.  They created an entire universe, purely with their magic.

It makes me wonder how real that makes the other side... are the ponies there alive?  Do they have their own thoughts, actions, or even original ideas? Are they independent?  I would like to think so.  They were created to be perfect, flawless in every way... they were just based off of ponies from this side, that's all...

I ponder these things as I see a familiar purple unicorn enter the room.

***

I went over to Fluttershy's today to check up on Double Take, but I found she wasn't answering her door.  I walked in cautiously, asking if anypony was home.  I heard her call out form a nearby room, which I entered.

"There you are, Twilight!  I was getting so worried about Double Take... I couldn't let him disappear again!"

I looked at her face. "Fluttershy, did you get any sleep last night?"  Her face was a little pale, and her eyelids were drooping.

"Well... I guess not.  I had to make sure he wasn't going to take off in the middle of the night."

"Why don't you go rest?  I'll watch over him for a bit."

"Really?  You'd do that for me?"

"Of course!" This trip was more for my own needs, but looked like she desperately needed some sleep.

"Thank you.  How long do you think you can stay?"

"A long as you need me to."

"Okay.  He's been doing nothing but writing all morning..."

Well, that was both good and bad news right there.  He won't be done anytime soon, but at least he's working on those notes.

"Alright, thanks for letting me know.  I'll take over here now."

She went up to bed first the first time in about 18 hours.  I "watched over" DT while she was away.  I should probably mention: striking up conversation with him is much easier to do when he's writing, for one reason or another.

"So... why'd you leave the hospital so early?"

"I didn't like it.  The nurse and doctor said they needed to discuss something with their superiors, and I kind of just... got out."

"Ok, but why here?"

"Why not?  What they said scared me, and I ran."

"Well, you kind of ran so far away..."

"I didn't realize the distance mattered."

"It does to me!  I was out there searching for you with my friend, and eventually we found out you were here by searching places we thought you would never be!"

"Am I really that unpredictable?" he stopped his writing for a second.

"Well, yeah... sort of."

He continued his writing. "If you had the foresight of me being unpredictable, why wouldn't you search the least likely places first?"

"Does that even make sense?"

He paused and thought for a moment. "Maybe, maybe not."

The conversation was going nowhere.  I needed to ask some bigger questions.

"So... care to tell me what you're writing about?"

"You know full well I won't tell you that."

There I go again, thinking this is going to be that easy.

"Well... care to tell me what's on your mind?"

"Nothing much.  Only knowledge beyond what you-- hell, anypony-- could ever understand."

For some reason, I doubted this.

"I hate to say it, but the hospital called me.  They told me you were dead."

"The machine must've turned off or something." he replied.  Curse his impeccable sense of logic.

"Okay... they also said somepony was dying in the same room, and that she mysteriously came back to life."

"How interesting.  I think I might've been asleep at that point.  It takes a lot to wake me up."

That explains how he could fall asleep with somepony watching him all night.  Fluttershy probably snuck back into the room to make sure he didn't go anywhere until the time we woke up.  His story made sense.

"So you had nothing to do with it?  Nothing at all?"

"Well, I can't say that.  I was in the same room, I just didn't affect the situation."

He was being very vague, as usual.  Why was it so hard to get one simple thing out of the guy?

"Well maybe you're not asking the right questions."

I did a double take.  I didn't say anything right then, so... "What did you say?"

"Oh, uh, nothing... nothing..."

***

Dammit, why did I have to do that?  I just gave her something to work off of now! Ugh...

I read her thoughts.  It has nothing to do with my power, but it is some pretty advanced magic.

"You just... how did you do that?"

"Do what?" I asked.  I had to negate my actions, quickly.

"You just read my mind!"

"No I didn't!"

***

"You did!  You just did!"

"Impossible!"

I had an idea.

You did read my mind!

"No, I didn--" he covered his mouth with his hoof.  "Shit."

"Ha! I got you!  I didn't even say that out loud! You're reading my thoughts!"

"So?  What of it?"

"We both know that's really advanced magic!  How would you know spells like that?  Just who are you, really?"

***

I needed an excuse, and I needed one soon.  I came up with the most logical explanation I could think of for the moment.

"I studied under Celestia herself!  I learned tons of magic as her pupil!"

"You?  Studying under Celestia?  Impossible!  I'm the one who is her student, not you!"

I read her thoughts and memories in a second and knew that she spoke the truth.  I had just dug my own grave... so to speak.

"Why can't you just tell me these things?!  Who are you?  What are you?  How did you get here?  Why do you know such advanced magic?"

No... no, it couldn't be happening.  THIS CANNOT.  BE.  HAPPENING.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

***

I wasn't in Equestria.  I wasn't sitting next to DT... where was I?

"Well, well, well... look at you.  First Impression, mother's favorite.  Always mother's favorite."

What the...?  Who was that talking?  I looked around to see one pony, threatening another with a knife.

"What's going on here?  Who are you two?"  I asked, but neither one of them noticed me.

"Brother, don't do this.  You know that's not true!  Your mind is clouded with evil!"

"Evil?  HAHAHA!  You know not of the true nature of evil.  If that's how you feel about evil, though... let's see how you feel about this!"

He stabbed the pony over and over, and blood spattered over the walls.  I felt sick to my stomach just watching it.  The stabbed pony whispered one word.

"Why...?"

He fell down, and that's when I saw his face.  Was that... Double Take???

The world flashed white and I found myself sitting next to DT again.  His hooves were on the sides of his head, which he was shaking back and forth.

"Double Take, what was that?  What just happened--?"

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME!" he roared.  "YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"

I was shocked.  He had never been this angry. "Double Take, explain what I saw, now!"  I don't know why I felt so demanding, but that is what I yelled at him.

"You were not supposed to see that! NOPONY WAS SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT!"

I thought I could hear Fluttershy's whimpering upstairs.  Quite the rage, DT had going here.

"I saw it.  I saw you." I said.

"You speak of this to nopony.  Nopony!  Understand?"

"Explain it, and I swear, your secret will be safe with me."

***

Dammit!  Dammit all to hell!  If I didn't explain it, she would find out what was going on, and she'd have free reign to inform whomever she chose, including the Princess, whom I knew she had connections to now. However, if I just explain it, then she will keep true to her word and tell nopony, and my secret will not be compromised further than it needed to be.

I went with the lesser of the two evils.

"Fine!  Ask me what you want about it, but you tell nopony else what you saw, or about anything that happened here today."

"You've got a deal.  Why don't you explain to me who those two ponies were that I saw."

"That was me and my brother... but I expect you deduced as much."

"What happened?"

"That day was the day of the stabbing.  Eleven killed. Murdered, by my own brother."

"Holy Celestia..."

"I know.  He killed off an entire bloodline in one go... or at least, he came close."

"You survived, obviously."

"Yes.  And it is through me that the legacy will truly die."

"What do you mean?"

"That has nothing to do with it.  Ask me something else."

"Where was all that happening, and when?"

"I cannot answer these questions.  The answers would only confuse you."

"You promised me answers, Double."

"This is the one exception."

"Fine.  I'll respect your wishes... for now.  I expect an answer sometime in the near future."

"You'll get your answers if you would just be patient."

"Why did he do it?  Your brother, I mean."

"He had evil in his heart.  There was no stopping him.  Insanity ruled over him, as well as his actions."

"'Evil in his heart'?  What do you mean by that?"

"I know not of the entity that drove him mad, only that it was powerful enough to do so.  My brother was the most kind and caring pony I knew.  This could not have been his fault; Evil magic was at hand."

"I'm assuming you don't know what happened after you were stabbed."

"No, I don't."  I lied.

"Alright... I've asked you enough about that.  Everything discussed here and up until this moment won't leave this room."

"It had better not."

***

I was surprised at him. "You're making threats now?"

"You want my notes, and I want my secrets to be just that: secret.  So I propose a deal.  If you tell anypony my secret, I will burn these notes.  However, if you don't, they will stay intact, allowing you to peruse them at your disposal... as soon as I allow for it."

"Fine.  The only thing is, I have more to ask you."

"What more is there to ask?  You asked about who, what, when , where, why, and how.  You said you had no more questions.  There's nothing more."

"No, not about the memory is what I meant.  This is about what Fluttershy told me you had said."

He turned his head to the side. "Hm, that."

"You spoke of somepony?  A mare?"

"..."

***

I said nothing.

"Are you going to say anything?"

"I'm looking at the clouds." I said.  Question answered.

"Are you going to answer my question or not?"

"I'm looking. At. The clouds."  I said, pointing to them.  I just stared into them, hoping she would give up asking.

"Double, who is she?  Who is this mare you spoke of?"

I kept staring.

"Please, Double?  Can't you tell me just a few simple things about her?"

"I'm trying to forget Her for now."

"Why?"

"Do you think I'm going to talk about Her if I'm not trying to think about Her?"

"You say 'her' as if... I don't know, it just sounds... different."

"I'm not talking about Her, okay?"

She looked disappointed.  I didn't feel good about seeing H-- I mean, her this way.  The notes I took that were about Her weren't that important... right?  Maybe I could give her those?  But there were the notes on the other side as well, within those notes, and I promised myself I wouldn't let her see them before it was completed.

"Wait... is she your marefriend?"

The question reached my ears and I couldn't believe what she had said.  That question was what racked my brain for a long time, as I was not sure about how strong our connection was.  Would she say I'm her coltfriend?  I have no idea... and yet this was just a simple yes or no question.  Not answering this would be wrong to do, but there was a contradiction of complicated simplicity about it.

"I suppose one might see it that way."

"No, no, no... I'm asking you what you think, nopony else."

"Well I... She might say... I think..."

Dammit me, form a sentence.  You have to defend yourself here.

"Well, yeah, I suppose." I was disappointed with the nonchalant answer I created.

"Ooooooh, Double's got a marefriend!  Tell me, do you looooove her?"

Now she was just mocking me for going along with what I knew was social trap at this point.

"Of course I love her!"  I shouted, hoping I didn't sound too defensive, but the smile on her face made it look like I had.

"Aw, that's so cute!"

"It is not cute!"

"What does she look like?  You got a picture?  Is it you making out with her?" she made her lips into an 'o' as she said it.  I didn't like her tone.

"I don't have a picture." I lied again.  I did have a picture, but that not that I'd share it with her... and it wasn't the kind of picture she was describing.  It was much more... appropriate.  Possibly too appropriate, if that’s even possible.

"But everypony has a picture of their special somepony!"

"Not me."

"Really?"  She looked at my bag, with all the papers.  She swiped it up a moment before I could.

"Let's see... notes, notes, don't worry, I'm not reading those... oh, here it is!"

She pulled out the only photograph from the mix.  I wondered how she sorted the papers out so fast just to find it.  Quite the organization skills.

I didn't say anything.  She looked at the picture and her smiling mouth turned into that of despair.

"Oh Celestia, I'm so sorry."  she said quickly, almost tripping over her words.

"Shut up." I said.  It was rude at that moment, but I was angry.

"Double, I had no idea--"

"I said shut up!"

I swiped the picture from her and looked at it a moment.  The one time I had a picture taken was when I visited Her grave... this was the picture.

Twilight looked at the ground, one hoof raised a bit off the floor, as if she was about to walk away, but she did not move.

"You know, I ask myself every time... I ask myself how it happened, why it happened.  She didn't deserve this... She didn't bucking deserve this!"

"Um, Double? I don't mean to pry, but is that what you meant when you said you needed to see her again?"

"That is exactly what I meant."  I didn't take my eyes off the picture.  I'll be back soon... I promise... just a little more work to be done, than I can finally end it...

"So her name is Second Chance?  It says that on the tombstone in that picture.  That's quite a peculiar name... kind of like your name.  Isn't that right, First Impression?"

"Wait, what?! How do you know my real name?"

"From the memory.  Your brother called you First Impression."

"Oh, right.  That."

"Why do you mask your real name?"

I was going to answer when a certain thought of hers appeared in her head. "I think you know why."

"How do you know?"

"How do you think I know?"

She thought for a moment.

"Stop reading my thoughts.  Please.  It's an invasion of privacy."

"Is your interrogation any less of such an invasion?" I countered.

She heaved a sigh. "You have a point."

"So are you done, or should I look deeper into your mind as you try to talk to me about things you could know about if you stopped distracting me?"

"I think I'm done.  Promise me you won't run away again, okay?  I'm only trying to help you."

"If only I could believe that."

She looked away and trotted out of the room.  She called out to her friend,  "Fluttershy, you don't need to worry about Double Take!  He's not going anywhere.  Try to get some sleep!"

I didn't hear a response, but I knew the shy pony must be scared.  I lashed out earlier, and again a bit later.  She probably will not talk to me until she figures I've calmed down.  And perhaps it is right of her... I seem to be going off the rails today with anger.  I need to calm down... and yet, the only thing that would usually calm me down is not something I can think about right now.

Distractions.  I need some distractions.  That is why I write.  So, where was I?

Ah, yes.  Parallel universes.  The Princesses, covered that...  what is left?

My family.  Ah yes, my family.

Before they were... forced out of existence, my family was great.  My parents were loving and caring of my brother, sister, and I.  My brother I've already talked about in great detail, but I should probably note the small fact that he was the oldest.  He was the one who kept my sister and me in line... peacefully.  My mother worked as one of the ponies on the harvest, and my father was a researcher.

My parents were of two different races.  If their jobs didn't explain it, my father was a unicorn, and my mother was an earth pony.  My mother was away most of the time, and my father was constantly taking notes on what I would later find out to be the Relics of Unity.  However, there was no denying they loved each other.  My sister was an earth pony, and my brother a unicorn.  I guess the races are very gender-specific, in that respect, but moving on.  My sister was a clever one.  She always found a way to crack some kind of joke that was placed so well into the adult's conversations, everypony would laugh.  However, there were more members of my family I should note.

My grandparents from both sides of the family (or what was left of them... one of my grandfathers passed away earlier) lived together, and they always disagreed.  However, unlike on this side, they did not argue about their beliefs, and rather discussed both sides to see how well each worked out.  They were purebred, unlike my parents, but they really didn't mind that their son or daughter got married to another race.

Lastly, there were my two aunts and uncles, both on my mother's side.  Aunt Spicy and Uncle Bitter (we referred to them by their first names) were always so nice, and they were the best chefs in the family.  Aunt Reason and Uncle Logic (we referred to them by their last names) were the ones who went to school with my father, both of them, and were the ones who suggested my mother start a relationship with him.  I can say with most certainty I would not be here without them.

And so, my family lived together in one big house, peacefully and with much happiness.  My brother aspired to be a researcher of myths, like our father.  He told us one day, he was going to change the world.  I looked up to him in my younger years.  As I grew older, I found that my path was not like my brother or father.  I wanted to be a healer, and my parents supported me in that.  My sister wanted to be an alicorn... my family and I didn't doubt it for a second.  She was on the path to greatness at just age seven, asking questions to the elders that even they could not answer.  If she was still alive, perhaps she could've achieved her goal...

My father invited me into his office one day and said to me, "Son, I've found the great power that keeps us together."  He was talking about the Relics of Unity, of course, and I was fascinated.  I had never heard of such things in my life.  He told me of the great wonders one could perform if they had just one of the relics.  I recall he got stumped somewhere in his research.  Those who searched for the great power brought him the relics from all across the land, but they never found the final piece, the sixth piece.  My father said he was going to find it himself.  In fact, he was getting ready to leave on a great journey to find it when he spoke with me.  He left us, and we did not hear from him for years.

When he returned, he told us the sixth piece does not exist, that it can't exist in this world, and that he was going to find a way to get it.  He got to work immediately, and his researching career continued.  My brother, however, was desperate for answers, and decided to help his father with finding the final piece of the puzzle.  My sister was wrapped up in how an earth pony like herself could gain magical abilities and wings for flight.  She was doing very well, as the elders told me, and that her curiosity was unrivaled.  I was glad to hear such things, but something grew in the back of my mind.  An idea that was soon to show itself.  My medical career was not going well.  I could not heal pony's wounds, not externally, as hard as I tried.  Then the idea hit me to research the pony mind, how it worked, and one could do the repair it.  Many ponies had tried and failed,  but I knew I could do it.  I got to work on what would be the first ideas of psychology in that world, and my progress was, as the elders told me, astounding.  I found that ponies could link minds, thoughts, feelings, and memories.  I found how to get others to remember events of the past if they had forgotten, and I found new ways for ponies to learn and understand things through magic.  That is how I came to learn the spells I know today.

My father and mother were very proud, as was the rest of my family, telling me I had made a big contribution to ponykind.  I told them to thank my brother, whom I looked up to over the years.  He and my father had found out that the existence of another universe was logical, and they explained they might be able to find the sixth part of the Relics there.  My father was ecstatic; he wanted to find a way to get to this other world as soon as possible.  I urged him and my brother to solve one of the greatest mysteries that had ever been discovered, and to utilize their resources to reach that goal of true enlightenment.

I remember my brother told me, "Impression, you and I will change the world.  There's no stopping us now!"  I will never forget those words... for they were the last he ever spoke that were truly his.  I cannot say what happened next, as now is not the time.

Nevertheless, I write on.  The world must know this at some point, but not now.  "If not today, when?" you ask?

... I'm not sure, but when the time comes, I will know.  As for now, I hide these writings from the world.

***

I told Applejack about what happened to DT (except for the part he and I agreed not to talk about).  She was mad that he ran, but was comforted by the fact that he was still alive, despite all that happened to him.  The hospital is not charging him for his stay because of the confusion, and DT isn't going back.  So nothing changes.

I don't like it.  I make so little progress each day, only to wait on all the progress made by DT on his notes.  It's frustrating that he still isn't giving them up to me, but I have an idea.  Being his friend was good, but I'm afraid that won’t work.  My studies of friendship will continue with my friends, but DT will be another case.  What happened today with seeing his memory was unwanted by him, but made great progress for me.  His brother went mad somehow and stabbed him half to death.  If I can work off of this, everything else will become clear.

Now is the time to know who and what he is, whether he knows it is time or not.

However, there was still a whole day.  My talk with him lasted only a little while, and I was desperate for more answers.  I decided to look up his history by his real name, First Impression.  What I found was more than I would've ever expected.

***

Double Take is scary.  From what I heard today, he gets very angry very quickly, and I don't think talking to him will make him feel any better.  Maybe if I just go in to check on his wound...

***

Fluttershy entered the room, saying in a little whisper that she wanted to see the progress on my recovery.  I wasn't surprised, as I knew with my previous actions I seemed mean and rude.  Not that I am not, it's just... I have little patience.  I told her that was fine, and she unwrapped it.  The wound wasn't bleeding anymore, which wasn't surprising, but the way she knew these medical procedures was... quite interesting.  Fascinating how one with wings could mend somepony's wounds, especially this well.

I apologized for my shouting during when we first met, and I noted we were not properly introduced.  I held out my hoof, told her that my name was Double Take, and that I was a researcher and psychologist.  She gave me this look of surprise at how I was doing something of that degree.  She shook my hoof for second, but broke off the connection quickly.  I guess her name suits her, being so shy.

I apologized for shouting at Twilight, saying we had a disagreement of sorts, and I promised her it wouldn't come to that again.  She said that would be nice if I didn't yell so loud, as it scared her animals.

I read her thoughts and noticed she was not a doctor or nurse, but a veterinarian.  This surprised me, as I didn't believe she would know how to fix up a pony, but nonetheless I was healing up.  She must've caught the surprised look in my eye, and asked me what I was thinking.

I said nothing.  There was no need.  I delved into her memories a bit, and saw she had the power to communicate with animals.  How very interesting... it was just like on the other side, but it wasn't much of a surprise.  I haven't seen any discrepancies between the two sides yet.  She asked me if I was going to talk to her.  I'm not sure how she took my blank stare, but she was kind enough to tell me my condition.

"Your wound healed up very quickly.  You should be able to leave in a couple of days."

"Days?"  I asked.

"Yes, two or three. Could you stay here?... I mean, if you don't mind.  I don't think that the outdoors is a very safe place right now."

"The best of ideas."  I said.  It was not true, but I could think of nothing better to suggest.

"Good.  Get some rest.  All that shouting must've taken a lot of energy out of you."

She was right, of course.  I did feel quite tired after my "talk" with Twilight.  I decided rest wouldn't be so bad... if it wasn't for the nightmares.  However, I had nothing else I could do... my writing, done for today, and my body feeling like... well, a load of crap, at the moment, thus making it the only thing left to do.

So, as I write my last words for today, I close my eyes and hope the terrors of the night do not find me, even in the day.

Three Days...

Don't I just get the worst ideas?

I tried to rest today, I really did, but something kept me awake... something I promised myself not to write about until... Oh, what am I saying? I can't keep away from writing about it... I don't know how I went so long without doing it before.

Her.  Ever since the talk with Twilight, She keeps popping into my mind, as if she was stuck there until I let her free through pen and paper.  In retrospect, that was a bad analogy.  Moving on.

I must write of Her relevance to everything I've written, and I must do it now.  I will start from the beginning, so bear with me for a while here.

We were childhood friends, She and I.  We always went out in the middle of the night so nopony saw us, and we played together.  When we were kids, it was fun little games like tag and hide-and-seek.  (Two-pony tag got very interesting; we had to make up new rules just to keep the game fair.) Those were fun times...  As we grew older, and it became more apparent that we had other feelings for each other, it turned into something different.  Not inappropriate, just... not the same.  We stargazed together, made some jokes, and a little flirting may have happened.  One night, things got... interesting.

It started out regularly, with stargazing.  I had found six constellations, but she had found ten.  We were sitting next to each other, but not very close.  A gust of wind blew by and I heard her shiver.  Every instinct to just hug her as passionately as I could was screaming out at me, but I made no movements.  She was cold, but I didn't want to seem that eager to flirt.  However, she obviously was, for she scooted right up next to me.  I was scared, honestly, to be so close to her, as I felt I would do something irredeemably stupid in the next few moments.

"First?" She asked.

"Yeah?" I said, my voice shaking a little from both the temperature and the situation.

"We've known each other for years."

"Uh-huh... And?"

"I was wondering if... you know... we could be more than just friends?"

I was not ready for that question.  The time to answer was then, and yet I had no answer.  I tried to think of a decent response to hide my indecision.

"Well... I've been thinking about that, too..."

"First..." She looked me in the eyes with this look of... longing? No, not that... Love?  Perhaps, but not good enough... I don't really know how to describe it.  Our muzzles were literally an inch away from each other...

She gave me a kiss, which I also was not ready for.  I was shocked at first, but in seconds I melted into it.  That moment, the world could just stop turning and let this happen.

Emotions are important, just as important as new information.  Like I said, bear with me.

We made out several times, cuddling into each other without limits.  There were no boundaries, no rules, no others.  However, I was the one who ended the moment.

"First?  Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just that... let's take it slow."

The first night of my life where I felt like I had something to live for, something to believe in... something to die for.

Three days...

We had to put on a charade every time we saw each other, acting like we didn't even know one another.  It made day-to-day life very hard.  Our families just so happened to be with us when we bumped into each other in the town square.

I was very scared, for I feared that the two families would find out about our little midnight excursions.

Nothing happened.

Our families crossed, exchanged some small talk, and then went their separate ways.  I felt great that problems didn't occur.  That is, until my brother spoke to me.

"Hey, First!  Did you see that mare?" he asked me.

"Yeah..." I replied cautiously.

"Do you think she has a coltfriend?  I'm worried that she might have one if I ask her to go out with me."

My jaw dropped.  My own brother was after the same mare that was my marefriend?  I closed my jaw and prepared to give him the bad news.

"Well, as a matter of fact, she does.  He's strong, smart, and much cooler than you.  You don't stand a chance."

The look on his face... it was priceless, I tell you!

"Really? Damn... well, that means only one thing."

"What?"

"I have to congratulate you on making it this far."

I knew he knew.  The smug look on his face said it all.

"So... how many others know?"

He laughed at me. "Brother, I was joking!  You and a mare?  Get outta town!"

"What did you expect?  Me and a colt?"

"You never really said anything regarding... how do I put it... which 'team' you play on." he joked.  I gave him a punch in the shoulder for that one.  He asked me how it all happened, and I briefly explained how we knew each other so well.

That night, I went to the regular meeting place, where she was waiting for me.  She wasted no time to snuggle right up next to me.  She tilted her head to lie on my shoulder, and I just let the entire romance of the situation sink in.  We talked about how we were going to work it all out with our families, and I told her  we would find a way to convince them.

"What if my parents don't like you?  What if they don't allow for it?"

"I will find a way to make them trust me." I replied, but I had doubts.  Getting somepony to like and trust you took time... a great deal of time, at that.

Two days...

My brother told my father about the new relationship.  He was glad, if you can believe that.

"Son, this something wonderful!  You should embrace the fact that you have a marefriend!  Why didn't you mention it sooner?"

"I was afraid, father... afraid you would not approve."

"First, look at me." he said.  I did as he asked, and I saw his smiling face. "You do not need to fear anything, especially when it is something like this."

"I understand, father."

"Then what are you still doing here?  Go and see her!  Let nothing stand in your way!"

I gave him a smile and ran off as fast as I could.  I knew where her house was, for it was only a few blocks down from my own house.

I knocked on the door and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  I began to wonder if the house was even occupied at the moment, when a huge mare opened the door.  It was not Her.

"Oh," she said looking down at me, "it's you.  Please, come in.  Make yourself at home."

She stepped out of the way, but I swear to Celestia that it sounded like a bad idea.  I figured I had the wrong house.

"I must have the wrong house... I'm looking for Second Chance?"

"I'm her sister, Third Charm.  She's talked a lot about you, Impression."

This mare was her sister??? I couldn't believe it.  Also, that name... so unfitting for her.

And yes, it was a complete coincidence that our names were First, Second, and Third.

I entered cautiously and saw Second appear from behind a corner.

"First?  What are you doing here?"

I had forgotten the reason I was there, but I remembered in a few seconds.

"My father will allow for this, and from the sound of it, your family seems to be fine with it."

"Let's talk in another room." She said. "Someplace were my sister doesn't need to be listening."

"Well excuuuuse me for existing." Third said. "It's not like I tried to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

She and I went into the kitchen, and Third went somewhere else entirely.

"They are not exactly sure... they are suspicious of what the 'meetings at night' were all about."

Suspicion rests deep within the mind of ponies who may never see the other side.  Just a side note.

"I have an idea." I said. "It will only work if you trust me."

"Tell me."

***

I did a little background research into the name First Impression, and I found out something very peculiar.  The family history is not stored with the others, but rather in a vault housed somewhere in the very back of the library in Canterlot.  I need the Princess's permission to enter it.  I will have to wait until the girls and I go to the Gala to ask about it, yet there is so many other things I need to ask her about, like immortality, being an alicorn, and on an unrelated note, where to find the best quills.  Writing letters with bad ones can be a little frustrating.

Anyway, the point is I'll be able to find out his history soon enough, and also be able to find out why it is in the... what was the name of the section? "Equestrian History"?  I'll be able to find--

Wait a minute...

Well, I almost missed something there.  Why is it under Equestrian History?  How long has this pony been around?  It can't be that long... right?  Also, why is it so off-limits if it's just about the past?

Maybe it was just misplaced?  If so, the librarian isn't doing her job very well.  First-hand experience lets me be the judge of that.

But... what if it isn't a mistake?  What if there's something about DT I should know, but do not know?  Come to think of it, how old is DT?  He doesn't look much older than I am...  Something just doesn't add up here.

I don't want to bother him again, and I won't.  He needs to finish those notes, then we'll talk.

***

That night, we met in a different location: under the lone apple tree at the edge of the town.  It was quiet... so quiet that peace was had.  She arrived a little later than usual, but I had no problem with it.  I knew she would not be very willing to be here, but it was for the greater good.

She saw me and a half-smile appeared on her face.

"So glad you could make it, Second."  I smiled and tried to make her feel comfortable.

"I'm glad, too."

"Nopony saw you come out here?"

"Just like always." She said with a wink.

"Of course.  I'm such an idiot for thinking otherwise."

"You are not an idiot.  We both know that."

"Maybe so... Shall we see what the stars say tonight?"

"Again?"

"The future is an important thing." I said. "Why not be a few steps ahead instead of a few steps behind?"

She and I sat down under the tree and began to watch the stars.  I was an idiot, truly, for that night could've changed the future.

I looked for signs of hope, love, even just plain friendship, but I found only a few.  The sky was full of dark prognostics.  Death, destruction, and loss...  I ignored these signs, fooling myself into believing they did not exist.  I should've said something, but that would ruin the plan.  I told her of the signs I did see, and figured that would be suitable enough.

Of course, we did kiss a bit.  It wasn't out of the ordinary anymore.  The night ended with her saying those words...

"First?"

"Yes?"

"Don't you ever let anything end our love."

"I promise you, nothing will."

If only I had known how wrong I was.

One day...

Second arrived at my home early the next morning, bearing good news.

"It worked just like you said!  All my family needed to know... Well, they saw it last night!"

The plan did work.  Our meeting last night was a show, something to tell Second's family that I was not a bad pony, and that I never was.  Third had been watching that last night to see what goes on in these little meeting of ours, and it was appropriate enough.  Although it made things a little uncomfortable, it worked.

Third was trusted by many.  Family and friends of her found her to be both very reliable and convincing.

We were truly together.

We spent most of the day walking and sharing our thoughts.  The town was small, and there was so little we could do with so much time.  We spoke out minds, and some very thought-provoking things came up, and we found ourselves taking all the time of the day discussing.

We decided to keep doing the meetings at night.  She had work to do, and so did I (sometimes), so it might still be the only time we see each other throughout the course of a day.

One hour.

I went to the regular place for our meetings, as she said that she liked to meet there.  I waited for the longest time, but the unthinkable happened.

She wasn't there.  She never arrived that night.

I began to worry, and I decided to check the other meeting spots.  I found nothing.  I feared that something was overlooked, that somehow something came up.  It turns out I was right, but not in that regard.

Her time was up.

I returned him and tried to go to sleep, but I could not.  I wondered where we went wrong in the planning today but I found nothing.

The next day was the worst day, scratch that, second to worst day of my life.

My father and brother told me the news of Second's death. Last night, about the time I was searching around for her, she was in her home.  They didn't know the cause of death, but for some reason I couldn't help thinking that they did, and that it was something horrible they chose not to tell me.  They could not find the pony responsible, and the only thing to do at that point was to arrange Her funeral.

It all happened so suddenly.  I felt as if my world was rocked, then shattered, only to reform as this disfigured mass of heartbreak.  The one true love of my life, the pony I knew all my life, was simply ripped away from me without warning and without reason.

I lie.  It was only without reason.  The sky warned me of the danger, and I ignored its foresight.

I was not a wreck after Her death, though.  Nopony, at that point in time, ever was.  They felt the loss in their hearts, but they strived to keep the dead's dreams alive.  The only idea she had was to find true love.

I was not about to let the dreams go.

I told my father and brother I would become a healer, so that no pony should befall a terrible fate such as this.  They respected my decision, and they urged on my efforts into healing magic.  I was vowed that if and when I could, I would bring her back from the dead.

That is why she is important. That is the reason I am the pony I am.  And that is why I am trying to forget.  You see, it is not her death that marks my despair, but the fact that sometime later, I would know the killer.

But that is another story.  One I will not get into now, or in my next writing.

Depression sweeps over me, and I feel the need to stop.  I grow tired of reminding myself of the worst times I can remember.  I end here.

***

I find myself in a peculiar predicament.  A box from Canterlot came in today, and I've been a little afraid to open it.  It's just a simple cardboard cube, but I fear what I might find inside of it.

I open the box, and I see a note that is attached to the inside of it.  It's from... Celestia?!  What is this???  I rip through the packing material, and I find that inside there are the very writings from the Equestrian history section I was looking for.  How did the Princess know to send these?  What in the world is going on here???

Her note reads simply: "Know the truth."  She's never been this straightforward, but at the same time, this could not be more mysterious.  The princess really does just be mysterious and all-knowing, so maybe I shouldn't be that surprised about this.  I mean, there was mind-reading magic, as I knew from knowledge of magic itself and the experience with DT.

I will read through these papers, and then make some more notes tomorrow.  Finally, something that might actually help me in my efforts to understand this pony.  I look at his family tree and see it looks fairly normal...

Wait, what's this?  His father is... that can't be right.  No, all this has to be wrong.  He's been dead for thousands of years...

His father... is Star Swirl the Bearded.

The Fated One

I just got back to the alleyway today, and a lot of things have happened.  I'm racking my brain here trying to figure out what to say first.

Perhaps I should go chronologically?  No, the sequence of events is all mixed up... by order or priority, maybe?  If I had my priorities straight, I could do that.  That means I can't.  So let's just go with the first thing that comes to mind.

It's been... four days since my last sighting from a pony in Ponyville; Rainbow Dash was the last pony to know where I was.  I have to say, I was really harsh on her with the whole full-body control.  It's one of those things you find nifty at first, but then regret using later.

Well, the counter has reset to zero after today's events.  Twilight had gone searching for me, and I don't know why.  She says she wants to discuss some things with me about... well, pretty much everything.  My power.  My life.  My multiple deaths.  Second Chance.  Third Charm.

I knew she must've gained some extra information when I disappeared.  From who or where, I could care less.  Rainbow Dash really got me thinking: Why do I do what I do?

I've convinced myself that I do this for peace, for harmony, for the betterment of ponykind, for every excuse I could possibly think of.  No, this is not for their betterment, and it is not for them at all.  It is all for the fated one.

Twilight reminded me of what notes I left over the hundreds of years, and then I realized I was working too slow!  A five hundred year gap in info?  That's hardly going to spark pony's attention!  Not that I am trying to after everything that has happened, but still, having a little recognition would be nice.  Honestly, it's like ponies didn't know that I was the son of the best unicorn in the history of Equestria!

My discussion with Twilight cleared a lot of things up in that regard.  Oh, right, I forgot to mention I met with her today!

This may seem a little... "wonky", but my decision on my stance in all of this yesterday really did help everypony, including myself.  I need to be open-minded.  I need to accept the fact that this secret is compromised.  I need to start telling the truth, and as soon as possible.  I don't know why, but I need to!

Maybe that's why my power got out of hand today? Crap, I'm getting way ahead of myself...

Organization of thoughts here... got it.  Everything that happened today can be summarized with one word.

Nonsense.

Now there's something I know well.

My day started off like any other.  Wake up, scrounge for food, and hide when necessary.  Simple.  Not a single pony saw me throughout the course of three hours.

Eventually, Twilight went out to search for me.  I hid, but kept an eye trained on her like hawk.  If she had any idea...

"Twilight!  I found him!"

And my hiding days were over.  I looked over my shoulder to see a pink pony jumping up and down, happily.  Why happily?  I cannot say...

When I realized it was Pinkie Pie, I threw myself at the ground and covered my head with my hooves.

"I'm sorry!  Please, don't hurt me!"  I yelled.  Two ponies had already beaten the living crap outta me; this happy disguise wasn't going to fool me into thinking she wasn't going to throw a punch.

I felt a hoof on my shoulder and opened one eye to see if it was just to aim a punch, but to my surprise, it was not.

"Everypony makes mistakes, Takey Wakey."

Oh Celestia, I forgot about that nickname.  Buck, this was going to be annoying.

"Good job, Pinkie!  How did you find him so quickly?  I mean, we only just got out to search for him."  Twilight said, walking over.

"Oh, it's just that he wasn't written about in forever!  Can't find him when he doesn't exist!"

I gave her a look, and saw Twilight was just as confused.

"Pinkie, what are you talking about?" I asked.

"Well, there hasn't been a new chapter in ages!  There was no way I could find you with the time lapse!"

Chapter?  Time lapse?  What the buck was she talking about? I had no idea.

"Oookaaaaaay....." Twilight said, returning her attention over to me. "Double, come with me.  We have a lot to talk about."

She didn't ask this time, she demanded it.  After all that's happened, I guess she deserves at least one good chat before I disappear for... I dunno, maybe a hundred years?  That sounds like a sufficient amount of time.

Maybe I felt closer to her.  Maybe I thought I could actually open up to somepony other than Second at that moment.  Or maybe fate knew where this was going from the beginning in a way I couldn't have guessed.

I entered her house.  Or at least, I think it counted as a house.  Do libraries count as houses?  I could think about that later.

I saw a little board with pictures of my face from the obituary pages in the newspaper.  All I could think was how they could waste so much ink on one pony.

"Have a seat over there," she instructed, pointing to the spot I should sit.  I sat down in the chair, and she sat to the chair adjacent.

"So, how are things?" she asked, as if she was thinking about breaking the to casual conversation.  I honestly could care less about small talk, but if this is what she wanted...

"Not bad," I replied simply.  I really had nothing to say at this point.

"Write anything interesting?"

"So far, yes."

"Interesting... did you know that Canterlot has family history records?"

"No, I didn't."

"I found you there, Mr. Impression, and I have to say, you really don't mention your father a whole lot, do you?"

So she knew about him... I hesitated to answer.  She noticed my lack of response and kept on.

"You know, I studied his magic techniques for some time, but I never saw yours."

Was this true?  Her memory read as much.  With her being Celestia's student, I didn't doubt it for a second.

"My work was nothing special, really."

"No?  Especially not your mind reading spell?  What about your mind link spell?  Both are works of a magical genius."

"Both were written on bloodstained paper." I offered.  It was the only connection I could find.  She ignored my comment and kept speaking.

"You also wrote about the other side, didn't you?"

The old notes I had taken on the other side were hardly reliable.  That was when I had not perfected the technique of travelling over, and I was almost sucked into the white abyss a few times.  Close calls, they were, but nonetheless useless information.

"Yes.  I didn't know you knew that it existed."

"Well, now I do with that confirmation."

Oh, that was actually a question.  Huh.

"Anyway," she continued. "I'm curious how you found out about it.  Care to share the details?"

"Not really, but do I have a choice?" I asked.  She said nothing as she took a book out of one of the shelves.  "Death comes to all of us, Twilight.  I was just lucky when it came."

"Lucky?"

"I wasn't searching for it... it found me."

"Do tell."

"You saw the moment of the stabbing.  A few minutes after that, I woke up on the other side."

"But how? How did you get there?"

"Good question. Certain circumstances in both weather, temperature, and the general situation lead to my travelling over.  Why do you ask?"

"No reason, I suppose.  Star Swirl is on that side, right?"

That was correct.  My father, as well as the rest of my family, could be found living on the other side.  Interesting how some things work out.

The other side is nothing more than a reflection of this side, only with a few minor tweaks.  On the night of Second's death, my other side counterpart died, and my family was left in dismay.  My brother, instead of helping with my father's research, made a vow to find the true killer and bring him or her to justice.  However, when he did find him, justice was not served.  Glory couldn't bring himself to kill his own father.

The events that transpired that night have been made very clear.  My father, knowing of my counterpart's late-night excursions, planned to bring the relationship to an end.  On the other side, there was a rule of the family: the oldest must find his mate first before anypony younger, then the second does, and so on and so forth.  He didn't approve of my counterpart's meddling with the rules.  He decided to use the very magic I was studying on this side (the magic I researched after Second's death, that is, but he must've discovered it first on the other side) to change my counterpart's outlook on the world and change his feeling about Second.  However, the spell was far too powerful.  The spell made him hate Second, and hate everypony, including himself.  This self-hate is what lead to his suicide.

The situation on this side was no different, only it was a mistake for something that was supposed to be good, not bad.  My father went out in secret that night and cast a spell on Second.  He didn't want her to ever leave me, so that I would be happy until the day I die.  He cast a spell that was intended to make her love me more than anypony, and to never leave me.  It worked... too well.  She started to think that I was a god, and that I was too good for her, too far beyond her.  She couldn't live without me.  Thus, she hung herself that night, thinking she would never have the love of her life.

So, yes, my father was on the other side, despite his unforgivable actions.

"Yes, he is there." I replied.

"And so is the rest of your family?"

"Yes."

"Is it the afterlife?"

This part was something I had yet to find out.  Was it really the afterlife, or just another universe?  I go there when I die, but not everypony goes there when they die.  And besides, the one major difference I've noted is that the social structure of that world is vastly different from our own.  I do know one thing about that place, though: it is far better than this side.

"I'm not sure."

"But you go there when you die.  How could it not be?"

"True, but it isn't the afterlife.  It's not possible.  I see ponies form this side alive on the other side."

"But what if that's just the way you see it?  What if it appears different to each pony?"

I hadn't thought about that, but I doubted it was so.

"I wouldn't know what to think of it." I replied, trying to make it sound like it was remotely possible.

"Also, you left some pretty interesting notes over the last two thousand years.  Something about the fated one?"

My mind stopped.  My God, I had almost forgotten about her.  The fated one!  God dammit, my head has been spun around in circles for so long I almost couldn't stop it to focus on the main task!  The fated one would be... well, she'd be old enough to recognize her path, that's for sure.

"First?  You okay there?" Twilight asked.  I simply stared.  How could I forget?  How?!

Let's see... magic, books, check... the name checks out... buck, what the hell?  I was running from the one thing that actually mattered!

"First?"

"Tell me, Twilight... have you heard of these things called the Relics of Unity?"

She was taken aback by the question. "No, not really... do you mean the Elements of Harmony?"

I knew it.  The name had changed over the years, but it was all the same.

"Tell me... did you receive the sixth piece?"

"Yeah, it appeared with the rest once I found them."

I put a hoof to the side of my head, shaking it side to side. "Twilight... it's time for you to know."

"Know what?  What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I should've seen it sooner!  Watched over by the sun... yes, that means... but what about...? Wait, then there's..."

I kept cutting myself off like that as I realized that the fated one was standing not more than a few feet away.  This pony, Twilight Sparkle, named from my line, will finally be able to bring peace to the world.

"First, are you going to explain yourself here or not?"

My thoughts shattered.

"You asked about my cutie mark, yes?"

"Well, yeah, but I don't see what relevance it has--"

"Then let me explain it to you.  It's a dot, nothing more and nothing less, as you can see.  It's the commonly known punctuation mark, the period.  Very simple."

"So your special talent is writing?"

"Not even close." I turned to her. "I'm the one who will end it all."

"End it all?  What, you're going to end the world?"

"You have no idea do you? You!  You are the fated one!"

"What?! Me?!"

***

Me? The fated one?  But how?

He began his explanation. "'And may the sun watch over the fated one, and let that pony be frank and true.  The fated one shall strive for perfection: finish what was left unfinished, redo what was undone, and arise the greatest light of them all: the light of the sun.  Praise be to the fated one, born upon this day.' Do you know when this was found?"

"January 1st.  I was born the next day.  It can't be me."

"No.  Do you remember precisely when this was found?"

"11:58... that was only two minutes before the second of January!  Wait, you mean they just found the note early?"

"Yes, but Celestia knew the true meaning, obviously."

"How?"

"'And may the sun watch over the fated one, and let that pony be frank and true.  The fated one shall strive for perfection: finish what was left unfinished, redo what was undone, and arise to the greatest light of them all: the light of the sun.' That was a metaphor.  Being watched over by the sun meant being watched over by Celestia.  While being frank and true is more or less your qualities, you strive for perfection.  I can see that.  Hopefully you understand the last part of the note, right?"

"You mean the part that says I 'arise to the greatest light of them all: the light of the sun'?  No clue.  I mean, don't we all awake to the light of the sun?"

"You misunderstand it?  I thought it'd be clear."

"No, I don't get it."

"Then I'm afraid I cannot tell you what I mean by that."

"Well, why not?"

"You have to find out on your own." I said.

And that's when my power got completely out of control.

The world around me started to bend and twist.  I felt my legs go numb and I fell to the ground.  A screeching noise resounded and I yelled my head off and covered my ears.  The sound only got louder.  Everything was twisting and screeching and I was screaming and everything just shattered.

I was surrounded by nothingness.  Suddenly, images started flashing before my eyes, and I realized something terrible.

I was jolted back into the real world.

"Twilight?" I asked, voice shaking.

"First!  Are you okay?"

"Run." I whispered as my throat closed in on itself

"What?"

"RUN!" I shouted.

***

"RUN!" he shouted, his eyes dilated beyond all belief.  He gave a shout of pain as his back began to stretch.

I jumped back at the sight.  It was terrible the screams he let out.  I saw as two bat-like wings grow out of his back, and his eyes glowed red.

I took his previous advice and got the buck out.

***

...

Unknowns are a product of science, as well as a product of magic.  Memories are by-products of experience, which is contained as a form of magic inside everypony's head.  Ideas are simply new magic.  Friendship is magic.  Love is magic.  Hate is magic.  Everything. Is. Magic.

First... you may never get used to your ascended form, but you must know you cannot escape what you are.  There is no escaping fate.

You are not an alicorn, mind you.  There would be no point in such endeavors leading to a lesser power.  No, you have ascended beyond them.

First, First, First... you fight me like I'm some sort of bad thing.  But what could I possibly do that is malicious?  I mean, it's not like you had the fated one run away for a reason, right?

Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with you!  You're just so paranoid!  You have no idea what you're doing, either!  Perhaps you'd like to know?  No?  You choose the side of ignorance?  So be it.

***

This is why I do not come clean.  My memory jumped back to a time when I did.  I have to be subtle.  I have to be secretive, and I cannot let this happen again.

Perhaps there's an explanation to be had here.

I was put into a drug-induced coma by my friend in medical school, who was studying electric shock therapy and things of the sort.  He created the machine that kept me... mostly alive on this side while Second and I spent time on the other side.

When I awoke, however, that's when everything was set up just so for every plan to go to hell.  My vision was blurry, and I could hardly see.  However, what I heard was very, very clear.

"I'm telling you, he's not coming out of that coma!  There's no way!  It's been an entire... I don't even know how many months or years, but there's just no way!"

"I'm telling you, sir, he will!  I know First; he will make it out of this in one piece, mentally and physically!"

"No, Harmonizer, he won't.  We can no longer fund this project because we are focusing on another... if we could get some volunteers for it, it wouldn't cost so much, and you could continue your research."

"What if he comes out of the coma?"

"We don't have enough money to put into your project right now.  Unless, of course, you will allow him to be the volunteer in our project we're funding now.  Then, after some progress, we will be able to fund your own endeavors."

I heard my friend hesitate and then sigh.

"Do I have any other choice?"

"You could join the team working on the other project, but something tells me you don't want to at the moment."

"Of course, you're right.  I don't see the point in their experiment, anyway."

"Eternal life!  Think about that for one minute.  We're using everything we can to make it happen, and all we need is a few, or perhaps just one, test subject!  This is why we're funding that instead of your experiments."

"Sir, if you go through with that, all my work will have been in vain!"

"Not quite.  You see, ponies can still get wounded.  Your machine here could help in their recovery.  All I need to know is if that pony will wake up."

"Well, I'm not sure."

"Then I'm pulling the plug on this.  Take him out, conscious or not."

"Very well."

I heard the machine power down, and I felt as I was removed and placed onto a cart of some sort.

I wanted to move, to make a sound, to say something or do something so that they would know I was awake.  I made feeble attempt to speak.

"Where..."

That one whispered word reached the ears of my friend, and he stopped the cart.

"First!  My god, you're alive!" he said. "Can you stand?"

"I wish." I tried to say, but I'm not sure how it came out.

"One minute, First.  I have to take care of something with the administrator.  I'll be right back.  Don't move a muscle."

"As if I could."

He walked off and I heard a door close behind him.  I could see them discussing what must be my one way ticket to the lab.  I couldn't do anything.

They reentered the room where I was.

"First, we're going to take you somewhere where you can recover.  After that... well, you'll see."

I made a small nod, the first signs of motor control I've shown beyond mouth movements.

Fast forward a month later.  I'm being pushed down the hall in a wheelchair, and the labcolts are telling me that I will be one of the biggest contributions to science the world has ever known.

"We've been working with some very, very powerful magic.  Retrieved it from your house, actually, some time ago.  These... what are they called... Relics are going to grant you eternal life."

"So my father's work will finally be done?"

"Yes, First, your father's work will be done."

They strapped me into some restraints.

"What are these for?"

"We don't know how much the power will change you... we're taking only the necessary precautions."

"Alright," I said, "so long as nothing bad happens."

They didn't reply.

"All right, we're up and going.  Bring out the first Relic!"

This Relic was blue.  They placed it into a strange and loud machine, and some light focused in on it, "shooting" directly at me.  I felt a rush like no other, like I had just got shot up with twenty shots of adrenaline.  Not that I've ever had that happen to me, but that's what I'd imagine is the equivalent.

"Next one!"

They placed a purple on in front of the blue one.  This rush I was having... suddenly I wanted everypony to be feeling it.

"Third one!"

They placed an orange Relic in front of the other two.

"We're halfway there, First!  You think you can handle the rest?"

"Honestly, I'm gonna have to!" I shouted back over the sound of the machine.

"Next one!"

They placed a red Relic in, and I knew there was no turning back now.  We had come so far, and my father's work must be done.

"Last one, First!"

They put in a pink one, and I felt the power inside me course through my veins.  I needed to use this power for good, in my father's name!

"First!  How are you handling this?"

"I'm feel... amazing!  Hahaha!  You have no idea!"

"Alright!  We're gonna try something here!  This is a little farther than we intended to go, but it will be the final step towards immortality for all!"

They put in a black Relic, and suddenly I didn't feel that great.  No, that rush that happened before was more just.. energy, welling up inside me.

"First?  Talk to me!  What's going on?"

"I... I'm not sure!"  I shouted back.  I felt by back move in ways it should not be able to.  A surge of magic coursed through me, and the transformation began.

I don't know how long it was until the process was complete, but when it was, I was horrified.  The first thing I noticed was that I had broken out of the restraints. I was at least double my previous size, and I had wings on my back.  Everything looked more red than usual as well.  My hoofs had spikes covering the circumference of them, and I almost panicked.

But I didn't.  I wasn't in control anymore.

I turned to the scientists who were looking at me fearfully.  I couldn't stop the beast I was.

In minutes the room was painted crimson with their blood, and I went on a rampage through the place.  I killed eleven ponies, and when I got to the last one, she was trembling in fear.

"No!  Please, I just want to live! "  she shouted.  The beast, for some reason or another, stopped and looked at her for a second.  I smashed her into a wall and let her bleed.

Yes, I was corrupted by the power of the Relics.  But not all was lost.

A scientist survived my attack, hiding away until he had enough time to retrieve the Elements.  He used the machine and retrieved the power from me.  The beast began to recede into the depths of its home which was my head.  I shrank down to normal size, wings gone, and I felt exhausted.  I fell to the ground and wept silently.

"Kill me... Kill me... Kill me..."

***

I couldn't help but take a peek through the window to see what had become of First, or rather, what he had become.  My eyes widened as I saw the beast of evil standing in the library.  He looked around and I hid, breathing rapidly hoping it did not see me.  I didn't make a sound.

I heard the thing roar and the sound of bookshelves falling to the floor.  He went on like this for another hour or so, until I heard noting but silence.

I went back in to see First crying.  He was sideways, on the floor.  I was afraid that any action might trigger the effect again.  I didn't want that to happen.  First had trashed the place.  Had I still been in there, I would've died.  It's no wonder he told me to run.

"F-F-First?" I asked, stuttering due to my fear.

He got up and turned to face me.  When I saw the look in his eyes, I knew what he was going to say.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

I walked up to him and put a hoof on his shoulder.  "First, it's alright--"

"No.  No, it's not.  Not okay.  Not at all," he said, sentences getting more fractured by the second. "Thought it was gone.  It's been three thousand years and it still hasn't left me.  Why won't it leave me alone?  Why?"

"First--"

"It has to end.  I have to go.  It has to end now.  Twilight, kill me.  Do it!  Kill me!  I don't want to live anymore!  Not like this!  Please, for the love of Luna, kill me!"

Holy mother of Celestia, this was getting out of hand.  "I'm not going to kill you."

"TWILIGHT!  THIS IS YOUR PURPOSE!  KILL ME!!!"

"FIRST!"  I shouted at him and he suddenly stopped everything and stared me in the eyes.

"I am going to end it all.  The world.  The universe.  Life itself.  And after all that, I will end myself.  Do you understand?  This is why you exist, Twilight Sparkle.  This is why you need to be the one to stop me, to bring an end to the end.  You are gifted with extremely powerful magic, and I warn you, if you do not use that magic to end my life now, the beast will return and destroy everything.  Is this truly what you want?"

"No... no I don't want that to happen..." I said. "But I'm not going to let you die.  There has to be another way.  Just give me some time and let me find it, okay?  You're going to get out of this in one piece, alright?"

He said nothing.  He slowly pushed my hoof off his shoulder and walked out the door, saying these last words:

"Don't let this all be for nothing, Twilight.  Find the solution.  Fix the problem.  Then we can all go back to our normal everyday lives. And if you cannot find a solution... make my death a quick one."

And with a blink of an eye, he was gone.  I dashed to the door and looked outside, but he was nowhere to be found.

I slowly went back inside, closing the door behind me.

***

The fated one will come, and she will vanquish all evil from this world.  She will stand among friends and she will stare straight into the heart of darkness with them.  WTAAO, soon.  May the dying light be a beacon of hope in these next few years.

~First Impression

I rip out this note and leave it around the outskirts of town, where hopefully somepony will find it before the end comes.  I don't doubt they will find it, nor do I doubt that they will be skeptical about its message, but Twilight will save us all.  I know it.

They will never stop searching.  They haven't yet.  They know that the harbinger of evil is upon them, and that he holds a sign of broken peace.  That is why they have kept track of every sighting of me, to make sure that bloodshed does not ravage the land like a plague.  When Twilight's Alicorn Ascension Occurs... soon...

Cleansing the Spirit: Part 1

The beast inside me threatens to break out again, so I must write quickly.

I know not of what Twilight will do when she sees me after all this, but I know there is one last writing I have to make here.

The cleansing of the spirit.

After my rampage back in the lab so many years ago, just after saying I wanted to die, I saw the last pony I had hit.  She was somehow still breathing.  The scientist ran over to her and did his best to save her, healing wounds and closing them up, but it just wasn't enough.

I walked over, hoping I did not look too malevolent as I did so, and I used the last of the power I received from the Relics to  bring that pony back.  That was the first time I brought somepony back, and that is why I can do it to this day.  It was also the first time I did anything good and productive with this new magical power.

After that, I pleaded for the scientist to kill me, to do what ever it took to do so, but had a grave look in his eyes.

"No," he said simply, "I won't do it."

"Look at all this!  Look at the destruction, the death spread all around you!"

"There may be death, and there may be destruction, but killing you won't solve that!" the scientist shouted at me. "First, we brought you here to examine what would happen if we granted a pony eternal life, and we found it.  There's no going back!"

I dropped to my knees and begged him to kill me.

"I am not ending your life!"  he shouted at me. "If this is the price to pay for a life eternal, then so be it!"

"You would have a long life of murder and destruction?  The elders won't even have to think about what to do with me!  I'm a dead pony already!  Just end it now!"

"No!  You are the result of the most powerful magic being put into you to make you immortal!  Bucking act like it!"

The Relics were still in the machine nearby.  The six of them: blue, purple, orange, red, pink, and... rose?

"Hold on... what happened to the sixth Relic?" I asked him.  He moved in to inspect it.

"I don't know..." he said. "Something's different about it..."

And three thousand years later, I finally know the answer: it had become pure, refined.  I took the evil powers of it and stored them inside my own mind, using my own magical studies to subdue the beast for as long as I could.  The Relics were sent to Celestia to be used for good.

Did Celestia know me?  I'd be surprised if she didn't.  Did Luna know me?  Most likely, but she would never admit it.

I used to being able to hide, to run, and to survive... or at least, gain the required amount of sustenance that it looks like I'm a normal pony.  I could honestly do without eating for a hundred years if I wanted to, perhaps even longer than that.

But I cannot hide for a hundred years, nor will I have to.  Twilight will ascend, and she will be the one to subdue me and strike me down.  Then, and only then, can I finally return to the other side.  I had almost forgotten why I didn't need to return, only that I shouldn't until now.  If I return to the other side, I will corrupt it with this evil in my mind.  This cannot happen again.

Also, I need to explain something every important.  The research my father was doing on creating a portal to another world... it was not about the other side.  It was about another world altogether.

This world, he told me, is filled with knowledge beyond all pony comprehension.  While this was ultimately true, it was also filled with the most evil things ever imagined.  Hence, the sixth Relic was nothing more than a containment system for that evil, its true power only revealed to the fated one.

Yes that's right.  I was not the creator of the idea that there is one true savior; that was my father's ideals put into my mind.  He told us that a pony so righteous, so pure, so magical in her ways that no evil could stand against her.  She would stand up for the powerless, give rights to the ponies everywhere, and bring harmony to the land.

A fairy tale, only real.

So what does this all have to do with the cleansing of the spirit? It's really quite simple.

The only way to tame the beast within is to be in the presence of a more pure magic than any other.  I found this magic a long time ago.  It was a place reveled and worshiped (but also feared) by the Zebras.

"In the light there is a god,

One who can fix the world with one simple nod

of her bright, glowing head with a bright glowing mane,

my all the evil around her be slain.

Her power is unknown to us, a mystery, you see

for if you stare her in the eye, blinded you shall be.

And blinded all you will see is light, so blinded you shall stay,

until the tides of death swoop over take you far away.

They will take you to a place that one can only dream.

One of happiness, of health, and one where little fillies' eyes gleam

in the light of everlasting god, who will reveal herself to you

only if in your ways you are right and true."

God.  The concept still eludes me.  When I entered the place of bright light, all I noticed was freedom from the evil beast, which was like a sad puppy in the light.  It would neither attack, nor be able to do any damage if it tried to... and I almost had pity on it.  Almost.  It couldn't even take control.  When I got to the middle, I did see a pony... but it was no god.  It was Celestia, but none of Zebras new that or even chose to believe that.  This "death" character they talk about is just Luna, making them dream for extended periods of time.

She asked me who I was, and how I had not been blinded by her radiance.  I quickly explained my situation in the fewest words I could.  She nodded at me and said, "This is a problem.  I do not want evil in this land."

The evil inside me rushed away, controlled by her magic.  It struggled as Celestia broke it into pieces.  She planned to seal these pieces away in her vast castle.  She used half of her being to create a seed, which then blossomed quickly into a sparkling white oak.  She trapped the evil inside and watched as it struggled to break free.

She saw her work was done and left the tree be.  However, before the evil was subdued, it broke itself into even smaller pieces, continuing to go smaller and smaller until it could just barely pass a bit of itself out into the world.  This one, tiny bit of evil is what created Sombra, the Changelings, Discord, and many other evil things.  The rest of the evil lost its power and was shut away forever.  If just one tiny bit of evil could cause so much trouble...

I thought I was free.  I thought that the evil was finally gone.  Little did I know how wrong I was.

Those Relics came from that tree, and were dispersed out into the world so that their power could never be used unless it was under the right conditions.  While this was before the evil was sealed away, it is still important to note where the sixth one went, and how that mistake could be made again.

But it was.  Through me, it was.  When they locked away all the evil, a bit of it must've still been left in me, and it has been growing in power ever since then.  The evil is among us, and it will strike down every living pony on the planet if it is not stopped.

What brought this to mind?  A lot of things, really.  I knew that if I died, then the evil would just be released and set to destroy the world.  It has to die, and for that to happen, I must go down with it.  Evil transcends all forms of being, including Celestia and Luna.  That is why it has always been more powerful than they are.

But I've seen many things over the last two years.  Discord's new reign, ended as quickly as it started by the fated one, the Changelings, brought to light by the fated one.  there's no stopping Twilight Sparkle; she will ascend one way or another.  All she needs are the right notes.  The time is right, three times over by now.

It's time.  I've been holding onto these far too long now for them to matter.  They have to go.  I cannot be the one to present them to her... it's too dangerous.  So I will go to Canterlot, but only so close as to see the towers and teleport the notes there.  I know Celestia will make the right choice and send them to Twilight.

It's time.  These papers are heavy.  I set them down and take one last look at them.  My father's legacy, summed up into four short lines of magical scripture.  The evil is pounding at the back of my head, wanting control, but it knows that it cannot take over yet.

It's time.  The beast is among us.  It has to end.  It all has to end.  And with my eyes turned towards the rising sun, I can see now the Princess on her balcony.  It's as if she knows I'm watching, waiting.  The bag with the notes disappears with a flash of magic.  I know not if she can see me, and if she can, then forgive me for my trespassing into her gaze.  Before I leave, I swear I saw her look out towards where I am and nod.  The end was here, one way or another.  The end of me, or the end of the world.  It's time for fate to decide.

The beast is taking over... I make a final end of my writing here.  May the fated one have no mercy on my soul...

***

I received a letter from Princess Celestia, saying that she has found the last works of Star Swirl the Bearded, the one spell he couldn't perfect.  It also says that I should be able to, so let's just read this magic off.

***

MY father always had a knack for fate.  He spoke of the future like he had already been there to experience it all.  Nobody really doubted him; his foresight was unrivaled.  In fact, I believe he said his greatest creation he would make with the Elements is one that changes a pony's future.  I never liked the prospect of it.  Change the future?  For better or for worse? And for the inevitable, for the greater good, or for life, peace, and the pursuit of happiness?  Equestria follows slightly on that line, I suppose, but... has it really gone far enough to satisfy?

Oh, what am I saying?  Of course it will.  So long as the evil within me is destroyed, the world should end up... just fine.

Evil will still exist, of course.  I've said a bunch of times now that it resides in the hearts of ponies on this side, but it is only the necessary evil to keep the world in check.  Can't have good without evil, right?  That's what I always thought, too.

Fate has a funny way of showing itself to those who meet it.  It's like... a bright light in a tunnel, showing you where to go, but really leading you astray.  Sound familiar?  I bet it does.

Light is the absence of darkness, the absence of evil, and the absence of truth.  For what could be more despicable than the truth?  The truth hurts ponies.  And when it hurts, it doesn't just bruise. It scars.  Like when you grow up and realize all your childhood fantasies are lies, and that the true world is never going to be the way you want it to be.  Ever wondered why psychos laugh?  That's because they live a lie.  Something of fantasy, totally in their control.  Wouldn't you be happy if you perceived that you could control the world?

Happiness is what we strive for in life, thus we strive to hold onto lies that we feel comfortable with.  Like the lie we tell ourselves that our lives mean something to the universe, that we as a whole are making the future of ponykind a better.   But what are we doing?  We're feeding into the lies that we perceive true.

This is not a lie.  Thus, this is not good.  This writing is evil.  Only, not malicious like how we all imagine it.  It just hurts.

I am evil.  I harness its powers and I store it within me.  It should not come as a surprise that my writing reflects that.  Twilight should be able to solve the puzzle my father created.  It won't take long.  Just like when you stare into the heart of darkness: at first you are afraid to accept what has become of the world, but through deep enlightened thought, you begin to understand.  You begin to control it.  You begin to manifest yourself in it.  And when the time comes, you will be consumed by it.

The beast threatens to break free any moment now.  It will be out for blood... but not just any blood.  Blood of the innocents.  And when that blood spills onto the ground in such a satisfying way, even then the evil will not be sated.  It will consume all, destroy all... become all.  For what purpose would evil serve without ponies?  Will it simply vanish, satisfied with the genocide?  Or will it keep some alive and torture them until the end of eternity?

Celestia gave half of herself to seal it away.  Take away the other half of her and there is nothing left.  No leader for the ponies to look up to and serve, nopony to keep order.  This world will hardly need dismay after the fall of evil, but it will be omnipresent among the ponies when they hear of Celestia's fall.  No, instead the evil takes on what really matters: The Elements of Harmony.  They were stored away with the evil long ago... as a fail-safe to keep it contained.  But, just like with all fail-saves, it failed.

I grant the representatives my blessing so that I may go quickly into a better world--

***

Foolish pony.  He speaks nothing but false prophecy and myth.  Did he not understand his brother?  He cannot know the true nature of evil!  He shall not!  And neither will they... those "representatives"... I hunger for their flesh.  It's been so long since I had a good feast...

And what better way to start it off?  These Elements will not get the best of me... I've grown stronger, better, and far more powerful.  They are like mere toys to me.  Just as ink is not suitable for writing, these ponies are not suitable for the true powers of the Relics, as I knew them.

Much better.  Who needs ink when there is a plethora of natural resources to use?  Small creatures who stand in my way shall be my ink once they are pulverized.  There's no point in the world retaliating.  I hear the howl of wolves as the wooden beasts of the Everfree surround me.  They are no match.

They weren't even worth the effort.  Crushing these beings is like crushing a dream: You can kill it once, but it will come back.  I hate dreams.  Why else would evil choose to take over Luna?  For power?  Possibly.  For control?  More likely.  For fear to strike everypony's hearts?  Now we're talking, but no.  It needed to get rid of dreams... and replace them with an everlasting  nightmare.  But even then, nightmares end, and I find she has broken away form the evil.

Why do I do what I do?  It is because of evil's plan... Discord to create disorder and panic amongst ponies, Chrysalis to threaten their existence, Sombra to control them... but then there is the forgotten evil.

I am the one thing everypony cannot escape.  I am the one who has been denied the world for so long.  I am the one who will bring an end to it all.

I am the truth.  I am the one fact that nopony can deny.  I am the immortal of mortality.

I am Death.

***

Well, that spell was one of the strangest I've ever found a counter spell for.  Changing cutie marks... who knew it could be done?

That spell is the least of my concerns right now, though.  After a short talk with Celestia in some weird other-worldly place, I've become an alicorn.  As in, the princess kind.  I can't believe this!  Where to start?  These wings are so new, and this feeling I get from it is just... amazing!  And~

What was that?  I thought I just heard a loud sound from outside...

Oh, no.

***

And they say that day was when Death itself was stopped.  The end brought to an end.

Princess Twilight, having ascended to her true alicorn state, did not bring an end to the evil.

Death swept over them like a shadow, prepared to consume.  It came with every intent to harm ponies and end lives.  It came to destroy.

But fate had other plans.

Death faced Twilight, and Twilight faced Death.  There was no fear in her heart.  There was no mercy in its.  And like the hammer of Judgment, the great beast raised its spiked hoof and brought it down on the alicorn, but it stopped.  The spikes mere inches from the Princess's face.  Time itself was paused.  The voice of the innocents cried out in fear as they peered through their windows.

The Princess Twilight had done nothing.  Nothing at all.

A black crystal had appeared and had stopped the beast's attack from afar.  The beast was confused.  Evil magic had denied it its kill.

It roared a challenge out to the pony who summoned it, and Sombra showed himself.  He let his crystals envelope around and over the beast and trapped it.  However, the walls were nothing, and the beast broke through them with no effort.  It charged the unicorn, but felt as it was tripped.  The resounding laughter of Discord let out into the air, and the beast raged.  It swung once, twice, three times at the being of disorder, only to miss as he disappeared each time.  The beast felt a slight bit of pain in its hind leg, and found that several Changelings had started gnawing away at it.  It shook them off, only for more to appear to gnaw at his other legs.  The beast was in frenzy, shaking off Changelings left and right.  Crystals formed around its hooves and its movement was restrained.  The beast spread its wings out and took flight, only to be brought down from the skies by Chrysalis herself.  The beast was once again restrained, and Discord stepped up calmly in front  of it.  It gnashed its sharp teeth at him, but to no avail.  He was too far away for anything to be done.

"After all these years, he returns!  Death, old buddy, how's it going?"

The beast roared at him, covering Discord in spittle.  He wiped it off, saying, "Well, it's nice to see you too.  Three thousand years is a long time, isn't it?"

The beast gave up its attacks and let its face scrunch up in anger.  Discord paced in front of it, tsk-ing.

"Ah, Death.  You never change, do you?  Always with the ending of the world, always with this or that or another thing.  You know, the rest of us became quite reformed after our second failed attempts to take over.  It's a shame this is your first."

The beast growled and bit a Changeling that got too close to its head.  It was blasted in the face with a crystal shard and the Changeling was released.

"So, just like the rest of us, you should be put away for..." he pulled out a calculator from hammer space and punched in some numbers, "Forever!"

The beast roared and struggled against the restraints again, but nothing happened to change its situation.

"So, either you break tradition and reform, or you get sent back to the little hellish world you came from!  Which will it be? Become reformed or stay evil and locked away?  I mean, c'mon... evil isn't that great anyway, right?"

The beast realized that the restraints weren't going anywhere, nor the things they were attached to.  It tugged and pulled, but not at the restraints.  No, it used those as leverage.  It tore its own four limbs off, and its wings were torn off in the process.  After that, it bent its head to the side and screeched as there was a loud crack.

Silence followed.  Discord and the other two stood slack-jawed as they watched the head roll away.  Even after all of that, the beast was still breathing.  Its legs grew back, but not as they should.  They grew back as clawed limbs, and the wings grew back as long, bat's wings.  The head grew back as that of a reptilian's. The hairs of its ponytail fell off and were replaced by a long scaly tail.  It looked down upon the minuscule beings and roared one line of speech:

"YOU KNOW NOT THE TRUE NATURE OF EVIL!!!"

It let out a cone of fire into the air and aimed it down at the three, but they were shielded by the Twilight's magic.

"Get out of here!"  she called to them. "I'm the only one who can stop it!"

The she turned her head to the side. "We're the only ones who can stop it, First..."

It was too late for him.  He was long gone, his body destroyed and his soul consumed.  That's what it seemed.

You're damned right we are.

"First?"

We don't have much time.  Death is going to end the world if you don't act now!  You need to lead it to the forest while I fight this thing's mind.  That's the only way to destroy it: from the inside out.  Now go!

The dragon swung and just barely missed Twilight.  She ran for the woods, hoping that the dragon would follow.  It did, crushing some houses as it went.  Luckily, the ponies inside got out before anything terrible could happen to them.

Running faster than she ever believed she could, Twilight rushed by trees and dodged those falling behind her.  Death was getting bored wit the chase and turned tail to attack the citizens.

Draw its attention!  Make it go into the forest!

Twilight couldn't catch up with the dragon, and felt hope slip away.  Just then, a rainbow line flashed across the sky, going incredibly high.  It sped quickly towards the ground, hitting the dragon off away from the town a bit.  Angered, death took flight and chased the thing that had impeded his attempts at creating a bloodbath.

Twilight instantly realized what it was. "Rainbow Dash!  Lead it over here, away from the town!"  she yelled. "I'll try to keep him occupied!"

The rest of the mane six and rush in with Rainbow, creating multiple distractions for Death.

"I sure hope First knows what he's doing in there..."

Cleansing the Spirit: Part 2

The mind of Death was not what I expected it to be.  The place was clean, orderly, almost... businesslike, for lack of a better term.  I was standing before a desk, with the pony sitting behind it facing away from me.

"You've caused me a lot of grief, First."

"I know."

"When you cause me grief, you ruin my plans," it continued. "I need my plans.  You see, I'm like a businesscolt, First, and I like my 'business' to run smoothly.  When you go in and start messing everything up... it's hardly tolerable that you should live.  In fact..."

He turned the chair around. I saw his red mane glimmer in the imaginary light in this imaginary world.  He had a dapper suit on, and looked very displeased.  "You're dead to me," he finished.

I saved a remark on that for later.

"Hm.  So what will you do?  Live on as a spirit?  Your body is gone, First.  You have nothing to return to," Death asked me mockingly.

"I have the other side--"

"No, First," Death interrupted, "you don't have that option anymore.  Have you taken a look outside lately?  Here it is summer, and there it's winter there, First.  There's no chance you can return."

I smiled at what he said and burst out laughing.  It was hilarious the ideas he had about the other side.

"Don't you see?" I asked him. "You are the one who allowed me this opportunity to go back!  I really should be thanking you, Death."

"Stop your laughing!" he shouted angrily. "You can't go back and you know it!"

"No, I couldn't go back," I clarified. "Past tense.  But now that you've taken over, well... I'm no longer living."

"Explain," he demanded, and I laughed again.

"Celestia damn, you are funny, Death!  I thought you knew all about yourself, but no!  You haven't the slightest clue!"

"I said explain!" He shouted at me, slamming his hooves on his  imaginary desk. "If you don't, I swear I'll find a way to make sure you never get back to the other side!"

It felt good to laugh in Death's face.  The bastard deserved every second of it.

"Funny enough, Death, your not the only pony who I'm dead to.  I'm dead to the whole plane of existence! I've never felt better about it!"

"Why?  I finally caught up to you after all these years--"

"Yeah, it only took you, what, three thousand years to catch up to me?  Oh, you're soooo scary!" I interrupted.

Death had nothing to say to that.  His imaginary eyebrows lowered on his face, and he began to grit his teeth.

"Don't feel bad!  I mean, you're the only evil that has ever pursued trying to take me down!  The only one!  That's something to commemorate, right?"

"Why do I put up with you?" he asked me. "Why do I even try to talk to you, out of all the things...?"

"'Cause you're Death!  You killed me, and now here I am, stuck in your mind until I choose to leave."

"So what?  You leave and I destroy this world.  You cannot stop me from doing that at the very least."

"Oh, I can't?"

A shot a bolt of mental magic at him.  I would explain how this works, but it's very complicated. The shot missed, passing through the imaginary chair and destroying it.  To anypony who may have been watching, it would look like the chair got atomized.

"You want a fight?  I'll give you a fight." Death said.  He charged up his own magic and shot a bolt at me, which hit me squarely in the face... it dissipated in a magical barrier I had placed around myself.

"Your magic is useless, Death," I told him. "You'll have to fight me like a stallion, not the wuss you really are."

"Hold thy tongue, savage.  You know not of what you dabble in."

His tone inflection had changed, and his words... that was the language of the old days.  Hardly used by anypony but Luna, really.

"So?  The only way I'm going to learn anything here is if you teach it."

"Pitiful creature, you don't understand.  Thou hast only one purpose: to help in the ending of this world.  Fate chose this for thee a long time ago."

"I have my own choices."

"Freedom of choice is a lie, and you know it!" he shouted at me.

"Lie or not, the choice I have made or has been made for me is clear: I am not ending this world.  Destruction will only bring sorrow, loss... I have felt these things and have deemed them unworthy feelings of this world," I countered.

"And what will you do?  Stop me, the greatest power known to this world?  The only power that ponies cannot stop?"

I lowered my head and sighed. "I don't know..."

Death laughed. "Are you so unsure of your power?  Perhaps you should just give up!"

"No.  I'm not sure whether you should live or die, Death.  You are the last form of pure evil, and I should want you dead... but without death, there is only a life of misery.  I've lived for far too long, I actually wished you would take me so I could leave.  But plans are plans, and I must go through with them.  So, Death... that is why I am so unsure."

Death didn't respond.  He waited for me to continue.

"You see, I think you could be a good thing at some point, Death.  You could bring an end to things when and where it is needed.  You can stop things like no other power can, and if you were good, you could kill off all the horrid things in this world.  You could be reformed, like the rest!"

Death stared me in the eyes, thinking about what I said.  Truly, it seemed this was the point he could change.

"Well, you're wrong about one thing, First... I am not pure evil.  I have, in fact, done many good things throughout the years, but I have done  many more evil deeds.  Your logic I cannot argue, but your stance on things... it makes me think."

"Death, you know this isn't right.  Killing ponies at random in such terrible ways...  surely you must know what is so wrong about that."

"You mean what is so right about it," he corrected. "You have seen how the life of ponies slips away from their bodies.  It's a curious thing.  I see it every time and I think: 'how interesting.'"

"Interesting?" The idea of death being intriguing was far beyond any sane thought.

"You have interest in my interests?  With that logic, we could be friends.  However, I don't think you and I would ever get along.  Yes, I have much interest in what becomes of those who die.  I cause their death, then I watch the result.  Where does their soul go?  Why do they resist?  How could one save themselves from it?"

He paced around as he said this, and my eyes followed him.

"And then there was you, First," he said, facing me, pointing his hoof at me and walking forward. "You and your father.  You both helped me find out what happens to those I kill... and I was hungry for more.  More information.  More data.  I was looking for a different result.  A new result.  A better result.  Normal ponies didn't show progress, but you... given the amount of time you've been studying, I've seen many different outcomes for when you 'die'.  You could go to paradise... or you could go to nothing.  You could come back to life... or you could save others from death.  You've shown me more options for after-death situations, it's almost ridiculous."

"So then why do you do this?  Why the annihilation of ponykind?" I asked him.  "There's no point to it anymore!  The only thing you need is me!"

"Precisely, but you don't want to stay.  You won't necessarily leave, but you won't stay.  You plan to go back to the other side, but only when you are sure nothing bad will happen on this side because of your return.  Why do you care?  What have these ponies ever done for you?"

"They saved my li--"

"No, First, they never saved you.  You went to the other side, if I remember correctly.  Why would you want to leave?"

"Don't think I didn't realize you'd be causing destruction while I was gone." I said

"Destruction?" Death laughed. "For whatever reason would I want that?"

"To kill, obviously!  What other reason would you have, Death?  It's in your name!" I shouted at him.

"True, true... but you are still wrong," Death said with a threatening tone. "I need you to stay in this world to continue my research.  You cannot leave."

"Is that why you destroyed my body?  So I can leave?"

"No... so that you couldn't go back."

"But I could honestly return to the other side right now."

"What?!" Death's pupils dilated down to almost nothing.

"You made a fatal mistake, Death," I said, refraining from laughing at the unintentional pun, "and now you will pay for it.  I'm not staying here, and you will not stay here either."

"What will you do?  Bring me to the other side?  You know that's suicide for yourself as well as everybody you know!"

"I never said we were going to the same place." I said, watching his face curl in confusion.

He kept this look for a second longer.  Then, his eyes opened wide in surprise.  "You wouldn't..."

"Oh, but I would."

"I'm not going back!  Y-y-you can't make me!" Death yelled at me, clearly scared.

"You came from there, and you are going back.  My father dragged you from there on accident, and now I will be throwing you back in whether you like it or not."

He panicked.  A black stone knife appeared next to him and he took it in his hoof.

"I'm not going down without a fight!  Magic or not, you cannot make me go there!  Not while I still have a chance to survive!"

"So be it."

I walked up to him and he lashed out.  His knife was easily blocked by my magic, but I didn't take it from him.  He needed one little bit of hope to keep him going.  Not that I was about to crush that hope in a few seconds or anything.

"Give it up, Death!  Your efforts are in vain!" I shouted at him.  A portal to a dark world opened up, with large waves or dark energy stretching out of it.

"You can't do this!  I am Death!  I am the one and only thing that will prevail in this world!" he was screaming, but he was being pushed back into the dark world he came from.  My father released him... but now I would set things straight.

"You tried, Death.  You did your best, but your best wasn't good enough.  Good bye, Death...  Forever."

He was right next to the portal.  One good shove would throw him over the edge. "First!  Don't you dare do this to me!  You know I can change, yes?  Give a chance!  First?  FIRST!!!"

I watched him as I pushed him through the portal and closed it.  The black stone knife he held lay on the ground.

I stared at it for a second and picked it up.  This thing... although only a figment of my imagination now, it still was here.  And there was only one thing left to do with it.

*** 30 Minutes Before... ***

"Keep him away from the town!  We can't let anypony get hurt!"

Dash shouted out to her friends as they kept the rampaging dragon busy in the forest.  The thing constantly kept trying to go back to the town, but it was held back by magic and was beat back by Rainbow.  Fluttershy kept trying to calm the beast.

"It's okay, Mr. Dragon... there are plenty of other things to eat!  Like delicious vegetables!"

The dragon ignored every one of them, constantly trying to get back to the town, no matter the cost.  When it realized that returning was impossible with the nuisances running about, it finally turned to the two unicorns on the ground and shot a burst of fire at them.  They teleported out of the blast, letting it hit the nearby trees.  They started on fire, and it soon spread to the rest of the forest.  Many of the animals living in the Everfree fled for their lives.  Fluttershy noticed them and began to fly the smaller animals away from the dragon.

The dragon roared as it breathed a cone of flame at the flying rainbow pegasus that annoyed it.  Its shots were far too close, but also never close enough to do any harm.  The two earth ponies did what they could to stop the fire, smothering the newest flames with their hooves.  Their efforts were hardly enough to stop the all-consuming flame.

"Alright, we've got his attention!  What now?" Rainbow shouted to her friends on the ground.

"Bring him to the lake!  He can't set fire to anything there!" Twilight shouted back.

The dragon followed the ponies to the lake, flying and burning all that was below it.  The forest was gone.  There was nothing left but ash.  When it reached the lake, it roared at the cold waters it landed in.  However, it was not the only giant beast there.

A hydra came up from the waters, angry at what the dragon had done.  It destroyed the one source of food it had: the forest, where all the creatures were.  Its four heads roared at the dragon, and the dragon roared back.

The ponies simply watched.  One invincible beast against another... it would be a huge battle.  Now all they had to do was stay out of the way.

The hydra lunged with each head, snapping at the dragon.  The beast dodged three of the heads and caught the fourth one, ripping it off.  The hydra was unfazed and had two more heads grow from the spot where the fourth was lost.  The dragon spewed fire, but the hydra shot water in its face, dousing the flames and silencing the beast.

The dragon was not happy about this turn of events.  The hydra bit the dragon in the shoulder, and crimson liquid ran down from the wound.  The dragon screeched and ripped that head off.  The mouth of the head released its grip, but the hydra grew back two more heads, just as before.  At this point, it realized that the heads weren't weak points.

It swung its spiked tail at the hydra, hitting it in the side.  The hydra screeched, and all of its heads bit into the dragon.  The dragon screeched and took to the air, the heads not letting go.  The entire body of the hydra was brought up with it.  The dragon flew higher and higher, up past the clouds.

The six ponies waited a few minutes and became relieved that the dragon wasn't coming back.  They were wrong to do so.

After an unseen fight in the air, the dragon came speeding down from the sky, smashing the hydra's body into the ground, crushing it.  The beast wailed for a few seconds, having muscle spasms, then died.  The dragon looked at the defeated monster and smiled.  It roared a challenge out to anything or anypony else who decided to mess with it.

The six stood in shock of what they saw.

"Please don't tell me that just happened," Rainbow told them.

"It did," Pinkie replied with a squeak.  Even she was scared of the violent dragon.  Nopony dared go near it.

That's when they saw the dragon start roaring for a different reason.  Pain.  It held its claws over its head, shaking it side to side, as if it had a voice in its head it could not get rid of.

"That would be First doing that," Twilight explained.

The dragon's eyes dilated as it shrunk down to the size of a pony, the entirety of it being sucked into a small portal.  One second the dragon was there, the next it was gone.  The portal remained.

Twilight!  Can you still hear me?

"First?"

I've trapped that beast away.  For now.  You need to seal the portal so it cannot reopen!  You have the Representatives of Harmony with you, yes?

"Yes!  Yes, they are here!"

Then seal the portal with the Magic of Friendship!  Even Death cannot defy that!

"But how?"

You'll need to channel the magic with a spell... I don't know what rhyme would shut the portal, but I'm sure you can think of something!  You finished my father's work by creating a new spell, so you can do it again!

"All right.  Everypony center around me!" Twilight instructed her friends.  The Elements appeared around their necks and began to glow.  Twilight's crown appeared and she cast her spell.

"Death be foul, Death be fair,

Death be trapped inside its lair,

Should it try to return, then without a doubt

This portal will seal shut and keep it out!"

They saw the portal close and two red eyes stare out at them as it closed saying one last verse:

"To trap Death away is such a shame

even when your life I could claim

as you sit on your puny throne

and I crush and snap your every bone

So listen hard and listen well, princess, for this is the last you'll hear from me

You can't stop Death -- nopony can! -- and it will be coming for thee."

The portal closed and the voice was silent.

I think Death just cursed you, Twilight.

"More like it cursed at me.  It's not coming back, right First?"

It won't.  Not in your lifetime.

"So then it will at some point?"

...

"First?"

You need not worry about that.  I have to go now Twilight.

"Very well.  I'll see you in the afterlife, First."

And then he was gone.

***

I opened my eyes to a light that blinded me and squinted against it as my vision cleared.  A frozen river, reflecting the sunlight ever so perfectly right into my eyes.  I noticed the sun was high in the sky.  Second wouldn't even know I was here.  Extreme senses and tracking couldn't know the time of Death's encasement in the Shadow Realm.  That was the one name I had for it, as nothing else seemed suitable.

I forgot about that place, and vowed to continue doing so, as something else caught my attention.  Something that was soft and cuddling up to me.

"Hello again, Second," I greeted her.  Somehow she had found me... perhaps by pure chance.

"Long time no see, First.  What are you doing here?  I thought visitation hours were closed."

I chuckled at the joke. "That's because I'm here to stay, Second."

She looked up at me with a light in her eyes as I said this. "You mean it this time?"

"I mean it," I replied, smiling and giving her a little nuzzle.  She blushed a little. She brought her lips up to mine.

Everything was perfect.  The sun in the sky, the moment of the kiss, and the feeling that I had finally done my part for the other side.  Two pure, cleansed souls sitting next to each other, that's what we were.  It had been so long... years and years and...

Something in the back of my head screamed something wasn't right, but I didn't know what.  I suppressed the thought as best I could.

I did not stop the moment.  I couldn't.  I wanted it to last forever.

Ironically, this is where my story ends.  As I curl up next to the angel next to me, I know I am done... There's nothing left to write.  No need.  Everything anypony will need to know now is already known.

The truth was evil, then lies are happiness, friendship, and all other things deemed good.  If I've been living a lie, I couldn't be happier.

I make my final writing here, never to be read by anypony...

***

First is gone.  He disappeared with a dark being sent to some other dimension.  I don't know if he was trapped there with it or if he got back to the "other side".  I read all his notes when I got home... the ones I could translate, that is.  Throughout the years, he wrote in different languages.  Only his more recent notes I can completely understand.  His previous notes questioned his immortality and his first trips over to the "other side", which he deemed was another dimension.

His writing goes back the Second Chance a few times, and I don't blame him for it.  I think it would be hard to forget the one you love.

He goes so far as to explain death and evil in his writing, but it's all so strange.  Truth is evil, free will is a lie, and I believe every word of it.  It'd go against every sense of information gathering I have, trusting what is written in a book by somepony I hardly know.  Out of the things I did know about him, I knew he was a genius.  HIs magic is thoroughly explained in his writing, which I found incredibly useful.  However, they could still use a little revision.  This magic is still very primitive, still very raw magic instead of refined.  So, I'll be working on it for a while and try to fix it up... by copying his every note on it and making corrections to the spell weaving he has done.

Back to the real world for a few seconds.  The damage done to the town was minimal, but the destruction of animal habitat in the Everfree has caused many of the animals to leave the place.  The hydra was one of five in this world, and it was a shame it had to go.  It never hurt anypony, but it sure did give my friends and I a scare this one time.  It was territorial, so you can't blame it for its behavior.

I had not expected Sombra and Chrysalis's appearance in Ponyville, nor can I explain it.  They came here to stop the beast, yes, but why?  What would they gain from something like that?  Sombra had nothing to gain from it, and Chrysalis didn't have any reason either... but Discord said they were reformed.  When I think about it, neither one of them has caused any problems in Equestria, so maybe he was right.  I can't believe I'm putting faith in Discord.

And then there's Celestia, the one most worried about what happened here.  When she heard about how Death targeted me first, she quickly had  the royal chariot bring me back to Canterlot for this reason and for my duties as a Princess.  I had almost forgotten what I was during the whole battle.  I have no idea how I'm going to get used to these wings or this title, or this place...

Oh, I forgot!  I got the notes from Celestia!  I asked her how she got her hooves on them, but she simply said, "It will all be explained with time." in her mysterious tone.  Even now I don't get to know her secrets!  Me, an alicorn princess!  I guess nopony will ever figure her out... but maybe First did?

He actually has writings about Celestia in his notes.  The oldest ones are in ancient Hieroglyphs from the early years of the Enlightenment Era, and only a few ponies can translate those.  Anything before then is completely foreign.

That can wait.  I mean, Equestria just averted another crisis.  Some ponies are still panicking, but most of them are relieved to here that another evil being was sealed away.

Speaking of which, I wonder what happened to that beast...

Well, it can't be anything relevant now.  What's done is done.

I have to stop writing here.  Celestia's calling me for something.

***

Death sat in the middle of the dark world and waited.  It waited patiently for its spell to take effect, whether it's days, weeks, months, years, even millennia... Death did not care.  It waited and waited... and the second that portal opened, it was getting out of here.

Its brethren surrounded Death and it smiled.  They had done so well in this pocket world, trained to be the best they could be... all three of them.

"One day, we will leave this place and bring the end of the world with us.  Only us four -- Pestilence, Famine, War, and finally I, Death -- will finally end these pitiful creature's lives."

And they waited ever so patiently for the portal to reopen... so that one day, they might have revenge.

Epilogue

"That's a load of bull!"

A tan pegasus shouted at a blue unicorn over the notes they read.  They had the bag set off to the side, and the notes strewn all about the room.

"I don't see the problem..." the unicorn replied calmly.

"Are you bucking kidding me right now?!" the pegasus shouted in disbelief. "Other worlds?  Evil beings?  Giant fights?  That never happened!  Why the hell didn't I see it if this was all going on???"

The unicorn rolled her eyes at him. "Not all of us are so privileged as to be a part of the near end of the world.  I mean, c'mon!  You can't be serious when you say you don't understand this!"

"I am completely serious!  Death was never a thing, just a state of being!  When have you and death ever met face-to-face, hm?"

"It may not make that much sense, but we were assigned by the princess herself to try to decode these notes.  Even you would know that!"

"What's the point?" the pegasus asked, laughing at how stupid his friend sounded. "There's no way this actually happened!"

"Well then what do you think happened?"

"I think it was all in her head.  Some stupid story to make her sound better.  Don't you think that might be remotely possible at the very least?"

"It could be possible..."

"Then why do you think she had us decode these?  She probably already had them around and already decoded them, just making us do it so the she has 'professional opinion' on her side!"

The unicorn sighted. "Look, if we decode this first paragraph and it says something about Princess Twilight or other worlds or Death, then we'll just burn 'em so we never have to see 'em again, but if it's about anything else, then we're decoding all thirty-seven pages of this one, as well as Celestia knows how many other papers are in that bag..."

"Fine," the pegasus said, "But if I see the slightest hint that this is just a hoax, I swear to Luna that somepony's gonna pay for it."

They looked over the notes, once twice, three times... they checked and rechecked their work, and they found the first line of the translation.  The papers were incredibly old, yet they retained the glyphs inscribed on them better than any old manuscript.

After several hours of guessing and checking, they assumed the first paragraph said this:

"Nopony knows of the old days, back when things were simple and work was easy.  I knew those days.  I don't know how many ponies would believe a story so strange, but I've seen lots of generations come and go.  I've seen more than anypony could possibly imagine seeing in one lifetime.  And yet, all this is nothing compared to what I am looking at now."

The two looked at their translation.

"No Death..." the pegasus noted.

"No Twilight..." the unicorn added.

"No other side..." they both said.

"Hm..." The pegasus considered the next action to take.  "We must translate the rest of this!  Whatever this thing is that he saw, we need to know what it is!"

"That's the spirit!" the unicorn said, patting her friend on the back.

"Yes, and we must find out if there is Death, the other side, or Twilight in this writing!"

The unicorn did a facehoof, then picked up the sheet and began working on the second paragraph.

***

The average Equestrian has a steady income, one living family member, and at least one friend.  It's no wonder I took interest in the one pony that  stood out in the crowd.  He did not have any of these things, not on this side at the very least.  I don't know if he ever got back to the other side.  Maybe there really wasn't something waiting for him over there.  Maybe he returned to this "world of white" that he wrote about.  It's impossible to know for sure.  all that matters now is his writing he left behind.

I started from the earliest note I could read.  Some of the things he talks about are insane, like dark essences, incomplete spells of reanimation, and all sorts of strange stuff.

Then there's the fact that he writes that truth is evil.  Call me crazy, but I think he's right.  Celestia has probably been lying to me about a lot of things throughout the years to keep me safe.  If the truth is evil, then she wouldn't be able to tell me the truth... or at least not the complete truth at some points in time.  Like when she told me that I was to go to Ponyville just to set up the place for her arrival.  That was a lie.  She intended to have me find friends and to uncover the Elements of Harmony.  There is no way it was just a coincidence that this happened.  Same thing with the Canterlot wedding and the Crystal Empire.  Finding out the truth about Cadence was evil.  Literally.  Sombra's return was most likely predicted, but she never told me this, so that's another example.

I've come to a conclusion.  If you think you're hearing only half-truths coming from your friends, it either they did something bad to you or are trying to keep you from seeing something truly evil.  There is no way the truth can be dealt without some level of evil to it.

However, lying has its limits.  Lying can be just as evil as telling the truth.  That's where I question it.  Where are the boundaries where lying goes from permissible to condemned?  Why does the truth have to be so evil?  Can it be good sometimes?  I don't know, but in these next few weeks I will find out.  Hold on, Celestia's here...

... with a letter from Pinkie Pie.  That's why she was here.  I told her I wanted to return to my friends because there is just so much more about friendship I have yet to learn.  She had allowed for it.  I'm not sure how we'll wipe this terrible memory of Death from our minds, but we'll find a way through.  We always do.  Always.

***

Two years.  that's how long it took me to figure this out.  There's been a mistake... a huge problem that should be assessed.  That is, if I truly know what I'm dealing with here.

I realized what the problem was.  I have to write about it, even though this paper isn't real.  I'm getting to that part now.  This world is paradise.  I think.  It must be!  There's no other way to explain this except... this world is not real!  No world is perfect.  No life is perfect.  This place isn't real.

This place is nothing but my imagination.  The rules of this place, made by me, the time of this world, mine to control.  I don't want to believe it.  I can't.  I don't.

It's crazy!  I'm dead and this afterlife is just my consciousness lost in the entirety of space and time.  It has to be.  I have proof.

I was gone for 3000 years.  I checked my math, and that comes out to 250 years on this side.  Everypony in this world would be dead almost 175 years ago and replaced by another generation, but they haven't aged a single day.  It's not possible.  It just doesn't work.

Yet this world is supposed to make sense.  It has physics and life and ponies.  There were changes and problems, but they were easily taken care of.  This world cannot be.

...

I may be dead, but this world is completely real.  It has to be.  I have proof.

What sick pony thinks that their family is nothing but a figment of his or her imagination?  I'm not going to start thinking everything I've worked towards getting back to was nothing.  It's real.  It exists.

I exist.  My family exists.  I'm not letting this all go.  It can't let it go.

I look into my daughter's eyes and know it's true.  There is no way this world cannot exist.  It must be real.  There's no way it cannot be real.  I won't allow it to be.  She means everything to me.

She has golden eyes and a dark blue mane, just like her mother.  She got my coat color, though: a bright and vibrant orange.  She's just getting old enough for us to tell she has her mother's eyes.  She'll grow up and meet somepony someday and I...

I'll be gone...

Where will I go then?  To the nothingness I avoided for so long?  Perhaps back to the other side, reborn as another pony?  I know not what will become of me now that I question this world's validity.  It is the one thing I didn't find out throughout these years.  What really happens to those I do not save?  I can never be sure.

So instead of focusing on my end or anypony else's, I will focus on the here and now.  My family needs me, and I need them.  I realize that I don't even care anymore.  Even if this world doesn't actually exist, It's real enough for me.  I'm not leaving Second or our daughter.  I cannot tell them, for it would ruin everything... and so, I will burn the notes so they are never seen again.

I am wasting my time writing... I've got a life to live.

Intoduction

My name is Double Take.  Interesting name, I know.  However, it doesn't matter.  What does matter is what I can do.

Have you ever been in a life-or-death situation?  Having been in one, I can say it's pretty scary.  Especially with my situation.  My brother was driven mad by something, and he lashed out. He killed eleven ponies and was sentenced to death.

The only thing was... he meant to kill twelve.

I was one of his targets.

I had been cut up to the point of death, but something let me hold on, let me live until I was put into a drug-induced coma at the hospital to allow me even more time to live.  My recovery took weeks, months, years.  The doctors thought I was as good as dead with what little progress I was making on my recovery, and they pulled the plug on me.  It makes no sense... I should be long dead by now, known only as a tombstone, but no.  I lived on.

Death eludes me.  At every turn, it has been evident, but then again, it was also never there in the beginning.

I didn't understand, and perhaps I never will understand why I stay alive.  All I know is what came from it all.

I see ponies undeserve deaths every day.  I don't know if it's bad luck or good luck for them.  They stand on the verge of death, but I...

I can save them.

I've seen so much death and felt its embrace to know how to fool it, to make it fail to take others to the other side.  I've seen too much, know too much to keep it from everypony.

Thus, I write to let ponies know what I, or rather, what they unknowingly can do.  I wouldn't do it any other way.

It happened again today.  The light, the screaming... the burial.

Another pony would've died today.

It was a mare, as it usually is with the greater population of them, with an orange mane and a blue body.  A raging manticore, which was being chased down by the guards, ran through town. This pony just so happened to be in its way.

Several broken ribs, even more open wounds. This pony needed to hang on just a little while longer...

So I died again today.  I left my body behind, allowing the other one to live.  I deserved death.  She did not.

It is usually very easy to keep them alive.  I experience their pain, yes, but it is not unbearable.  In fact, it's almost satisfactory to know I'm helping... no matter the cost.  That pony made it to the hospital, where she had to undergo surgery.

It felt like the right thing to do at the time.  Every time I save somepony it feels that way.  But I know I'm only extending their suffering, torturing them if they do not get help from others.  It's a sad fact that I must live with, but to do what must be done is everypony's job in this world.

The pony lived, of course.  My body, however, was picked up and buried... again.  Luckily, I'm a unicorn, so no coffin can keep me.  I've died so many times, they don't even bother with a service anymore, and pretty soon, I'm sure they'll just leave my body on the streets.  They say the number of deaths is rising every year in Ponyville, but it's not true.  It's just those I cannot save and my multiple deaths combined.

Speaking of which, there are some ponies I couldn't save today.  More than one pony was hurt by the manticore, and the manticore itself had to be put down... not that that was much of a loss, but still, it has left this world all the same.  Saddening, truly saddening.

Thus far, I think nopony has noticed that the same pony dies every other day.  Obviously, it makes it very hard to make a living.  I can't hold down a job, and I can't buy food.  Thus, I live on the streets, picking and finding things I can eat, drink, and use to survive. Sometimes somepony is nice enough to give me something to eat and drink.  I hate it when I have to sorely disappoint them by dying again.

I end my writing here. Believe it or not, being dead takes a toll on a pony, and I must rest.  Tomorrow, I shall write again.

***

I saw that peculiar pony again today... the one they call Double Take.  There's something... off about him.  He wanders the streets with an unkempt mane, and his coat could not be dirtier.  He is sad, I think, to be living all alone.  He never begs, however, and he's generally very quiet.  Too quiet.

I swear he can just doze off whenever.  I looked at a park bench one time, and there he was, propped up by his back, sleeping the day away.  But that's not is what is weird about him.

He arrived in Ponyville only a month or two ago.  He wore a cap of some sort, and some tattered horseshoes.  Pinkie was going to plan a party for him but then...

I could've sworn he was dead.  The newspapers said as much.  That was the only time they got his name right.  I've seen the obituary pages, and I know his picture has come up so many times it's ludicrous.  Maybe I'm being too stereotypical or something, only thinking I'm seeing the same pony over and over again.  That's what I used to think, but my research has shown otherwise.  The faces are the same, I swear, and the name is the only thing that changes.

I, Twilight Sparkle, am going to find out just who... and what... this guy is, one way or another.  Which is why tomorrow, I'm going to talk to him... and use some magic to see if I can't get into that head of his, if necessary.

***

Oh hell, the nightmares again...

Ever since I got my ability, I've been seeing things in my sleep.  They usually are just events mixed into a bowl, all stirred up, until I see the moment.

The moment the pony knows they should be dead.

I've felt it before.  A knife, stuck right through my gut, and my brother, smiling as stabbed me.  That madness is what brought me my power.  I cannot say for certain the two events were ever related, but I know one thing.

I'm not alone.  I can't be.

I have survived death, so then would my brother have that same ability?  Did he cheat the system, by surviving a hanging?

I'd like to think he did not.  His madness was untamed, brutal, malevolent... his death served as his purpose to the world, to show them what happens when you let a bad situation turn into something much, much worse.

The nightmares... I see him in the nightmares... always the smile, always the stabbing, always the same.  Never ending, never faltering, never being any less real than the first time.  Then I see it.

The light.  The light at the end of the tunnel.

It's true what they say: don't go towards the light.  I've seen that blinding light so often, it's as if my eyes adjusted to see what was beyond it.

I cannot say it is heaven, nor hell, nor anything in between.  All I know is that to survive, one must escape what lies beyond the light.

For what is light?  I say it is the absence of darkness, the absence of courage, the absence of life.  For what is life?  Our imaginations, all strewn together to make us think we mean something, and we do, but not in that sense.

Death, life, both are the same.  One leads to the other.  The light is nothing more than what the other side would call darkness, what the other side would see in a different sense, describe in a different sense.

Yet we cannot turn away from our other side.  They say do not go towards the light, and for all these years I have not. But others...

They run towards it as if it is their salvation!  As if... what lies on the other side is exactly what they want, what they are looking for!  I stop them, I show them the real way, and I make it so they live, one way or another.  It is only right.

I tire from this... sleep may elude me for now, but in the morning, I will need to be at full strength.  You never know what may happen.

I end here, in hopes that my writing may someday remind others of what they really know.

***

What.  The.  Buck.

This pony, known as Double Take, Second Wind, Other Stride, the list goes on... he has no history.  He has no family.  He has no friends, he has nothing!  Nothing!  Nothing at all!

I don't believe it.  The grand archives usually have records on family lines, where they cross and diverge.  He was not in any of them!  Hell, for all I know, this colt could be an alien!  I don't know what to think of it.

Has he evaded everypony's notice?   Am I the first to perceive his very existence?  Why is he here?  How is he here?  So many unanswered questions...

I need to get to the bottom of this, but I cannot just throw these questions at him.  That'd scare him off!  No, I have to take the subtle approach.

The only way I can get him to talk is by being his friend.

***

Finally, my favorite time of the year is here.  Winter wrap-up.  You may ask as to why, but the answer should be obvious.

It's bucking cold.

I never liked the cold, and being on the streets in the cold has never been easy just on its own.  Every night it was freezing.  But not anymore.  Clearing out the snow is going to fix that.

I helped, of course.  Everypony is required to help.  I woke up the animals from their slumber, particularly the dangerous ones.  Bears, snakes, the works.  I apparently forgot to clear out one snake den and one poor mare did it.  She ran away quickly. I think that she has never helped in this before.

I didn't get a good look at her, but I know she was from someplace in Canterlot.  Must've moved here because...

Because...

Why would anypony move here?  That's a question I'd like answered.

Anyway, we cleared out all the snow, and all the animals were awake.  It took a while, or course, but that's only to be expected.  These things don't happen immediately.

Anyway, I ran into somepony today.  Literally.  I helped her up, apologizing for the trouble, but she didn't seem to mind.  That's when I noticed it was the same mare from before, the one waking up animals.  She looked surprised when she saw my face. Well, I guess I am that... how do I put it... unkempt?  I should probably just say ugly, though...

She asked me my name, and I told her it was Double Take.  No point in lying.  Besides, I hadn't quite made a new name for myself since my previous death, as I should soon.  It's not like she was going anywhere with this... unless she was going to yell at me.  I would understand if she wanted to do that.

However, she did not yell at me, and instead she did quite the opposite.  She said she wanted to talk to me for a bit, at her home.  Her home!  I think that means I won't have to sit outside for a little while, which I might enjoy.

But I couldn't.  No, I shouldn't go.  I didn't go.  I turned down her offer as politely as possible.  She asked if we could talk sometime in another place.

It pained me to say it, but... I denied it.  I turned away and walked down the wet path.  The last I saw was her face.  She seemed to be in dismay to be turned down without any real thought having to be put into it.

I hated myself for it, but it was for the better of both of us.

***

A minor setback happened today.  Double Take denied my offer.  I thought this might happen.  Not all ponies are trusting of others.

However, that will not stop my search for answers.  I need to find out what happened to this colt so that I can help him.  Death is supposed to happen once, not several times.

Speaking of which, I did a bit more research on him.  I only found one thing: his cutie mark.  It doesn't make sense, and I've been studying it for hours.

It's a dot. That's right, a dot. I don't know what to make of it. You take one look at him and then his cutie mark and you think: Who is this guy? I'm going to have to find out... because he is the only pony who knows.

Tomorrow, I'll try again.  That is, if he is still here. I hope he is. I have to see this through, and I...

I don't know why.

I'll write again tomorrow.  Tonight, I have to finish the plan for my next move and then get some sleep.

***

Tonight I sleep in the cold. I pull the familiar cloth over me and try to get comfortable. But I cannot. The night will only send my mind terrors, and I shall wake up in a cold sweat. And this time, it won't be because it's winter. Instead, I lie awake for as long as I can before I succumb to the evils of the night.

I feel as if... as if I need something to do.  I feel the need to get up, walk around town, knock on a door, do something that might actually cause me to be noticed.  But no, I cannot, for free will is a lie, thus I stay put.  And when I awake the next morning, everything will be the same, just as it always has been, with the town waking up to their first spring day. Only, not in the stuck-in-a-time-loop sort of way I seem to be writing it.

And, if my writings truly are getting this bad, I end them here.  I cannot have confusion mixed in with the ultimate truth.

A Family History

Born: Year 376, November 23 of the Pre-Enlightenment Era.  Location of Birth: Tremomenda, Settlement II.  Death not recorded."

Holy Celestia.  DT's been alive for thousands of years... he may be the last of his kind, as well.  Scientifically speaking, he's of a completely different species that existed before "conventionally thinking" ponies existed.  It's a psychological thing.

"Born to Star Belovious Swirl (Unicorn. 336-393) and Golden May Crop (Earth. 341-393).  Named 'First Good Impression' on November 25, year of birth."

First Good Impression.  Well, somepony had faith in him.  Not that I don't, but... moving on.

"Siblings:

Honored Bestivous Glory. Brother.  Unicorn.  Born Year 370, March 13 of the Pre-Enlightenment Era.  Location of Birth: Velocia, Settlement XVI. Death recorded on October 12, 393."

Honored Glory?  Quite the name to live up to right there...

"2. Twilight Viola Sparkle.  Sister.  Earth.  Born Year 379, January 2 of the Pre-Enlightenment Era.  Location of Birth: Kiaforn, Settlement I.  Death recorded: Year 393, October 7.  Cause of Death: Slit throat.  Port-mortem puncture wounds on the neck, chest, and head (See File 17)."

He had a sister?  It seems she died on the day of the stabbing... at only 14 years old.  And an Earth pony, too... there was no way she could defend herself...  She had the same name I do.  That must be hard on him, seeing me and thinking of his deceased sister...

"Profession: Healer, Psychologist."

A healer?  Why couldn't he patch himself up?  Was he afraid I would notice his quick recovery and trace that back to his roots?  The psychologist bit is interesting, too.  I guess that's when he learned to read other ponies' thoughts.

I look at these and notice that the three were born in different towns, or as they refer to them, Settlements.  Why was his family moving around so much?  Also, how come I never came across this when I was studying Star Swirl's work?

"Assumed Year of Death: Year 60 of the Enlightenment Era.  Cause of Death: Age."

Nice try, historians, but I just saw him yesterday.

"(See File 18 for more information)"

I put the file aside and took out file 18, which was surprisingly light.  I opened it up to see...

"NOTES OF "FIRST GOOD IMPRESSION"

YEAR [REDACTED], APRIL [REDACTED]

RESEARCHER: NEVERENDING MILE

The studies on Subject [REDACTED] have proven the worth of [REDACTED] to the community, which was [REDACTED] in the Year [REDACTED].  It has been proven to help with [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and many other common [REDACTED].  His research notes, although mostly [REDACTED], have proven to be quiet useful in recent years.  The [REDACTED] Spell is almost a cure-all of diseases, including [REDACTED] and [REDACTED].  However, it does require much magic, and thus must be used only for [REDACTED]."

Could they redact just a little more, please?

"Deciphering his notes wasn't easy.  It took until [REDACTED], a co-worker of mine, found out the new coding pattern as seen in the newest testing trials of Subject [REDACTED].  Only some of the Subjects have been able to use [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] to see into the minds of others.  The best have been selected, and yet even they have trouble performing the [REDACTED] Spell.  Subject 92, however, has been able to [REDACTED] the spell, almost to perfection."

This isn't getting me anywhere.  I need to see those notes first hand, otherwise I'll be left under a pile of redactions as a sad excuse for information.

I looked back at the first file.  The only other file I saw on there that might lead me somewhere was File 17, his sister's.

I skipped over the basic information and moved onto the siblings.  Again, it redirected me to File 18.  Maybe they got the number wrong?  I checked File 19 instead.

"CASE FILE NOTES: THE MURDER OF SECOND CHANCE"

Well, this was unexpected, but it might hold some information.

"Case Introduced: Year 390, August 14 by Star Swirl.

Case Resolved: Year 390, August 17 by Defense Attorney, Unending Lane.

Case in brief:  Second Chance, the victim, was murdered on the night of the 13th.  After much extended time towards the prosecution, it was decided Second was responsible."

A few things to note here.  One, they had a judicial system thousands of years ago, quite like ours.  How interesting.  Two, Second was held responsible for her own death?  I better keep reading on.

"Cause of Death:  Suicide, performed with a noose."

Holy Celestia... why would she do that?

"Motive: Unknown."

Figures.

"Estimated Time of Death:  11:49, August 13 (Year 390)."

That's quite precise for an estimation.

"Chief Prosecutor: Unjust Justice."

Who names their kid that?  Honestly, some ponies...

"Defense Attorney: Unending Lane

Victim: Second Chance

Initial suspect: First Impression"

Wait, what?!  How could they say it was him?

"Reason for suspicion: Unknown location at the time of victim's death, relation to the deceased."

That makes enough sense.  I guess they had nopony else to throw under the bus other than him.  The prosecutor must've known he was fighting a losing battle.

"Suspicion withheld after short turn of events by the defense.  Prosecutor makes one last grasping effort to keep the court case going.  Court session adjourned until following day.

Prosecution provides new evidence about the crime scene, and suggests new suspect: Third Charm, the victim's sister.  Prosecution whittled down after defense disproves theory with another more logical theory.  Court adjourned until further notice.

On the final day, the Prosecution comes up with no evidence as to the new suspect.  Defense finds clues leading to suicide, and the court ruling follows his theory.

Transcript from each day below."

Well then...  that was not exactly descriptive, but at least the transcript is here.  I looked it over and found that the prosecutor was constantly being backed into corners, and there was pretty much no other reason that he was suspending the trial sessions other than to make a few more bits.  Lawyers: throughout the ages, they are still blood-sucking jerks.  For the most part.

There's another file it says to go to find more on the victim at the end here.... File 4.  That's my only lead so far, unless I really want to search through all these documents.  (I don't, but I have to.)

File 4 contained nothing very useful, but it did point me in the direction of another file for "substantial information on victim's family" in File 10.

I checked there, and to my surprise, I found First Impression there.

"First Good Impression.  Unicorn.  Relationship: Coltfriend. (See File 9)"

You know, I've always found it strange that ponies say "colt" instead of "stallion", and sometimes the other way around.  It's very easy to confuse the two, and a census bureau actually came out saying more people use "colt" than "stallion" to refer to males, despite the meaning it has for their age.  Just a side note.

Anyway, moving on.  File 9...

***

Another boring day of clearing the skies.  The weather team said that a huge storm could come from all the excess clouds produced for the last rainfall.  Not that I care.  I just do what I gotta do: remove annoying clouds.  Preferably, in ten seconds flat.  It leaves me with more time for myself.  But, I guess that's what makes this day so boring: there's nothing to do!

I decided I've had enough of all this.  I'm gonna go see what the others are up to.  Twilight's place is close by, and I think that egghead mind of hers could probably think up something for me to do.

***

Just when I pick up the file, the window flies open, sending all the papers flying everywhere!  Rainbow Dash decided to make a "surprise visit", and just at the wrong timing, too.

"Rainbow, can't you ever just use the door?"

"What?!"  she shouted. "Use the door? That is strictly against my policy!"

I groaned. "Just tell me what you want.  I'm busy right now, so make it quick."

"Well, I figured with your egghead smarts and all, you could find something for me to do."

I groaned again, louder.  That's what this was all about?  She was so bored she couldn't even find something to do on her own?

"I'm sorry, but I've got nothing for you." I said, ready to ignore her and go about my business, but an idea struck me.  "However, Fluttershy might need some help with something.  Why don't you go check up on her?"

She shrugged at the idea. "Better than nothing, I suppose."

She flew off, and I began to reorganize each file, one by one.

***

Fluttershy's place wasn't too far off (nothing ever really was too far off with my amazing flying speeds.)  I could probably check on her.  Now, I know Twilight was just trying to get out of her mane, but I honestly thought she'd point me to Applejack or somepony if she didn't want me there.  Why Fluttershy?

I swooped down into the window and found that it was pitch-black in here... so dark...

Friggin' light switches.  Always in the weirdest places.

I went downstairs, turning on lights as I did so, and I did not find her.  I heard this strange scratching noise coming from a nearby room, like a pencil scratching against paper...

***

Time, time, time.  How I hate time.  The idea of time, the length of time, the passing of time.  Everything about time just disgusts me.  The world abides by the laws of time and space, and we just play along?  I hate it.  Stopping time altogether would be catastrophic, but yet--

Hold on a moment.  It seems it is time to endure more rudeness.

***

"Who are you?"  I asked. "What are you doing here?"

"You remind me of Twilight.  Demanding.  Direct.  Incompetent." he replied.

"Incompetent?! I'll show you incompetent!"

I smacked him across the face.  His face looked something only a little off from "emotionless" after that.

"And suddenly, the relation is gone.  Huh."

"Just tell me who you are."

"I'd rather not, especially with your current attitude towards the situation."

I smacked him again.

"You'd better get used to this attitude, otherwise you and I, well... we'll have some problems."

"I think you're the only one with problems: anger issues."

***

She smacked me again and kept asking who I was, why I was here.  She isn't very perceptive.  Had she thought about it, she would know exactly why I'm here.

After a while, my nose began to bleed.  I must've looked like shit, given how many times she hit me.  I don't know why she was doing this; she should know through Twilight that I don't give up info, even insignificant info, that easily.

"What are you doing in my friend's home?"

"Oh, you mean Fluttershy?"

She smacked me again.

"OF COURSE I MEAN FLUTTERSHY, YOU BIG SACK OF SH--"

She was interrupted by the sound of the door creaking open.  I could see Fluttershy peeking through, wide-eyed and scared.

"R-R-Rainbow... w-what are you doing to him?"

"Fluttershy!" she replied, relieved to see her friend.  "This jerk-bag over here refuses to leave your house!  Just snuck in and sat here!  I've been trying to beat him out ever since!"

Fluttershy didn't make a move or a sound.  She looked over to see me and gasped.  I knew it must look like my head was a giant red pussball which would be the sad excuse for my face after a beating like that.

She opened the door and moved forward cautiously.  "Double Take?  W-what happened to you?"

Shy ponies are brave ponies on the inside.  However, at this point, seeing her freaked out about my face gave me an idea.

I gave her this look of sadness, then hung my head down, allowing all the blood that was trapped in my mouth to flow out.  It must've made quite the scene.

"Rainbow, what have you done?!"  she shouted. "Poor Double was trying to recover from an injury, and you beat him like this?!"

Rainbow's face was shocked... or at least, I think it was.  Hard to see through the dirty locks of hair accumulated over the years that were blocking my field of vision.

"Fluttershy, I--"

"You didn't know who he was!  Why would you do this???"

"That's the point!  I was trying to get him to say who he was, but he wouldn't answer!"

"And you thought hitting him would help?!"

"Well, I--" she was cut off by the sound of her own voice.  Desperation.  That is all I heard in that voice, and that is all I needed to hear.

Rainbow stepped back and away.  Fluttershy rushed over to me.

"Double! Are you okay?"

"My face hurts like hell," I said.  I may know there is no hell, but that word still holds value in my world.

"You really got beat up..." she said, examining the wounds. "I'm going to go get some ice."

She turned to Rainbow Dash. "You come along as well." she told her.

Rainbow kept her head down and exited the room with Fluttershy.

Now was my chance.  With Fluttershy distracted and a clear exit plan, I can finally leave this place and write in peace.

I used a quick healing spell on my face to stop the bleeding.  Yes, I may have sucked at medical magic back in the day, but a few thousand years allows for ample time for practice. I did the same for my side, allowing a little more power into the magic to heal it to a state so I could walk.

I did one last thing, and left.

***

Fluttershy and I went and got some ice and carried it into the guest room.

Fluttershy spoke up a little, "Alright Double, we've got the ice right here, so don't panic--"

The bed was empty.  There were a few bloodstains left on them, but on sign of Double Take.

Fluttershy dropped the bucket and started searching around the room.

"Double Take?  Double Take!" she said repeatedly as she searched all over the room.

"He's gone, Fluttershy," I said. "I musta scared him off."

"Well, what do we do?  He's in no condition to walk, much less stand!"

"I'll find him." I volunteered. "He probably teleported out of here.  He was a unicorn, right?"

"Yeah."

I spread out my wings. "Well then we couldn't have gone far.  I'll find him and bring him back here, as soon as I can."

"Rainbow?"

"Yeah?"

"Please don't hurt him when you find him."

"I won't."

"Thank you," she said with a worried tone.  I immediately took off out the window, scanning the ground as I went.

***

I found myself in the town, right where the alleyway where I lived (if you can call it living.)

Enough.  The show must go on.

Where did I leave off?  Ah, yes, the explanation of my family.

My father's research on the Relics of Unity.  My brother, aspiring to be like him... yes, covered that... here we are!

"Impression, you and I are going to change the world.  There's no stopping us now!"

No, no there was not.

That night was to be the night of the testing that my father told me about.  Going to another world... it sounded exhilarating.  I was at my desk, trying to perfect one of my greatest creations: The Mind Reading Spell.  As worked off of the Mind Link Spell, this was to be the first to help in finding the truth where it was hiding: in the back of ponies’ minds.  A simple spell to use and cast, but it depleted one's magic almost immediately.  I was trying to find a way to counteract that.

Halfway through the note taking, I stopped to hear a little rumble of hooves moving in the floor above.  That was where my father and brother were testing the connection to the other world; they told me not to look the room, though, so I did not.  I kept writing, and right when I found a way to reduce magic consumption, I heard the rumble again.  Mumbles of conversation were had, and I thought all was well.

That is, until I heard the door slam open.  My father cried out: "Run!  Hide!  Something's gone terribly wrong!"

I heard a guttural scream resonate through the house.  I quickly gathered my notes, put them into a bag, and ran to my book cabinet.  I ripped out the tomes, and I hid inside.  My sister came running in, and I heard our elders cry out in pain.  I gestured to her, waving her over to my hiding place.  She quickly ran over and hid beside me.

"First, what's going on?"

"I don't know," I said urgently. "but whatever it is, it cannot be good."

I heard the door squeak open. I held my sister close, and she buried her head into my shoulder, stifling her sobs.

"Fiiii-iiiiii-iiiirst!" I heard my brother call. "Where aaaaaaare yoooou?"

I heard a disturbing laugh come from him, and I started to shiver in fear.

"Hide-and-seek, eh?  I love that game..." he said.  I heard a giant thud as he ripped open the door to my closet.

"Looks like all that practice paid off... Ah-HA!"

I heard another thud as he opened the cabinet nearby the one my sister and I were in.  I knew we were doomed.  This was the last cabinet, the only place we could possibly be hiding that he would think of.

I heard his crazed giggles as he took step after step, slowly approaching.  I shut my eyes.

Suddenly the hoof stomping stopped.  I listened close, but heard nothing.  Silence.

I waited a minute, listening to the sound of my own silenced breathing.  It seemed he was gone.  I relaxed for a second.

"Brother?" my sister asked.

I didn't even have time to answer her as she was ripped away from me, my brother's magic quickly pulling her out of the cabinet.  In one quick move, my brother took the knife with his magic and slit her throat wide open.

Shock overwhelmed me.  I can remember that very moment all too clearly.  The door halfway open, the room a mess, the look on my brother's face and the blood of my sister... every detail down to the type of knife that he wielded: a long, black knife crafted out of cursed stone.  One does not simply unsee these things.

I stumbled to my hooves as the bloody knife almost sliced me, and I ran for the door.  It slammed in my face, held closed by my brother's magic.  I ran to my desk, hoping I had something to counteract this madness my brother was experiencing.

"Well, well, well... look at you.  First Impression, mother's favorite.  Always mother's favorite."

I was cornered.  My notes had nothing on something like this, so I used the one spell I thought would work.  I read his mind and found it was not his own.  Dark essences lurked in there, causing his crazed slaughter.

"Brother, don't do this.  You know that's not true!  Your mind is clouded with evil!" I said, but to no avail.  A giant smile crept over my brother's face.

"Evil?  HAHAHA!  You know not of the true nature of evil.  If that's how you feel about evil, though... let's see how you feel about this!"

And then I was stabbed.

"Why...?" I asked, falling to the floor.

He watched me fall, and I watched his crazed smile as my vision began to fade.

That's when I first encountered it.  The light.  Staring me in the eye, it stood what seemed to be a few feet away.

Not a lot of space.

All it took was thinking that there was space in this strange place, and the light turned into a void, consuming all that was nearby it.  I tried to hold my ground, but the force was too much.  I was being dragged closer and closer...

It was then I was saved.  I don't know by who or what, but I was dragged back to reality, pain surging through my body.  I screamed, like any pony in pain would.

"Hold still, dammit!" a voice shouted at me.  I knew the voice.  This was one of my friends from the medical school.  I did not know his name, but I saw his face.

I kept screaming in pain and was restrained.  Something was injected into my neck, and that was the last time I would see his world for a long time.

The light appeared again, and I decided I had no choice.  It wasn't going to go away, and being in this world... there was no point anymore.

I lowered my head (theoretically speaking, that is, since any actual physical movement would be impossible at that point) and stepped into the light.

Once the gleaming light got out of my eyes, I saw my home.  The colors were all wrong... Everything was mismatched, opposite of what it was on what I call this side.

I looked around and saw there were still ponies.  Walking, talking, and alive.

I just stared.  What was I supposed to do?  Where was I?  What was all this?

I started to walk, but I felt like my hooves were moving on their own.  I certainly didn't control where they went.

This world was all the same.  Everything was colored differently, but it had the same general layout.  I walked and walked and realized I was headed towards the graveyard.

I kept going and going until I just stopped.  My legs refused to move.  I looked down to see the gravestone I stopped in front of.

FIRST IMPRESSION

376-390

R.I.P.

I was dead.  The realization hit me like a brick to the face.  My knees gave out, and I fell to the ground.

I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead... I thought, the same line repeating in my mind over and over again.  I felt tears run down my eyes.

"First?"

I stopped all movement.  That voice... it couldn't be.

"Second?" I asked back.  Sure enough, she was standing nearby with some flowers, most likely to place at my grave.

"Are you... real?" she asked, her voice wavering.

"I could ask you the same thing!" I said with an unintentional nervous laugh.

She looked the same, as did the rest of the ponies here.  Just some of the other colors of this world had changed... not that it mattered at that point.  She was back, or rather, I was back.

I was at a loss for words.  I stepped closer slowly, and so did she.  We met in the middle, hugging.

I have to say, sadness was an easy feeling to feel at that point.  I knew I was dead, and I knew that this must be the afterlife.  I knew that I made the right choice.  There was a lot to cry about at that point.

But I was wrong.

"Where were you all these years?" she asked me.

"Whatever do you mean?" I asked.  Confusion swept over me for a moment, but the answer was in what I just saw: the tombstone.  I died three years previous...  so that means...

I broke the embrace.  "I'm sorry.  This is wrong."

"First, what do you mean?"

"I'm not who you think I am."

"You came back from the dead.  I'm not surprised that would be the case."

"No, no... I'm not... You shouldn't... I don't..."

Sentences are things that help keep the conversation in line.  This is why this conversation gets very much out of hand.

She put a hoof over my mouth, shushing my inadequate attempts at speaking.

"Shhhhh... there's no need for words.  I know you may be somepony beyond explanation, but to me, you will be the same pony you always were, First."

...

I choose not to write more on this subject.  Why does everything lead back to Her like that?  I need to figure out how to write this next part...

***

I found Double Take a little ways off from the library, hidden away in an alley.  He's not that easy to spot.

I swooped down to tell him to get back to Fluttershy's place, but something seemed off about him.  His face sure wasn't looking half as pulverized when I saw it last, and his side seemed just fine.

I told Fluttershy I wouldn't hurt him, but I was angry.  This guy thinks he can just feign being hurt and just occupy somepony's home whenever he pleases?  That does not sit well with me.

"Hey, DT!" I called, prepared to knock the living crap out of him again, when something happened.

***

I knew it.  This Rainbow pony was going to find me at some point, and I thought it'd be now.  However, this time, she was not going to get any hits in.

I restrained her every movement with my magic.  Literally every movement.  She could've gone into cardiac arrest had it not been for my magic allowing her heart to pulsate and her lungs to breathe, as well as other subconscious functions.  Her eyelids I did not use magic on, but I kept her eyes trained on me.

"Rainbow Dash.  I did not appreciate your actions back at the cottage." I said calmly.  I allowed her to speak.  If she did not watch her tongue, I could stop her form talking whenever I pleased.

"Let me go, you pathetic piece of--!"

"Language, Rainbow." I scolded mockingly. "Now, what is it that you want?"

"Fluttershy wants--"

"No, Rainbow.  I did not ask what Fluttershy wants.  I asked what you want."

"Well, now I just want to get out of here, but--"

"Leave?  For what purpose?"  I said, delving into her thoughts. "We've only just started talking."

Somehow her facial muscles broke loose from the magic for a second to become an angry face, but I regained control again.

"Look, buddy--"

"Call me Double."

"Fine then, Double, I'm here to carry on a message from Fluttershy."

"No you are not." I said.  Her thoughts were like an open book... no, not that, an organized file.  I could simply pick and choose what to use against her. "You are here to beat me further.  Do I have that right?"

"Look, Fluttershy told me--"

"Again, it's not about Fluttershy, or what she says.  This is about you." I said getting closer to her.  I was trying to pull the menacing look, and so far, it was working. "What did you think of doing as soon as you saw me? Be truthful."

"I thought about telling you what Flutters--"

"Stop it!  This is not about Fluttershy!" I yelled at her. "I am asking for your thoughts, and your thoughts alone."

"Why does it matter?"

"Are you saying your thoughts don't matter?  That you don't matter?"

"I didn't say that!  It's that they shouldn't matter to you!"

"Oh, shouldn't they?  What if I told you I already know what you're thinking?"

"Oh yeah?  Prove it!"

"You thought of beating me up again.  You didn't even think to ask about my condition before doing so."

"You liar!  You were never hurt!"

"No, I was hurt.  Badly.  The thing was, I could've healed myself but simply chose not to."

"But why?"

"Oh, so now I hear an actual question leave your mouth.  It's almost foreign to me.  All the same, I will answer with a question.  Tell me: If you had to perform a serious bit of medical surgery on yourself, would you do it?  Could you do it?  The answer is no.  Your self-preservation instincts would kick in before you even got a look at your wound.  Even with magic, one's preservation instincts will stop oneself before anything can be done.  But you provided for me an opportunity.  With the damage done to my face, my body was working towards fixing that first.  I could then freely heal myself and rid of the serious wound before moving on and repairing my face.  Particularly my jaw, which I think you broke.  Not that I'm holding it against you or anything."

"So basically... you didn't do it before because you couldn't?"

"And the blind pony gains her sight, even if it is just the peripheral vision.  Yes, that's right.  I suppose putting things into layman's terms is your specialty."

"What happened to you, anyway?  Why were you at Fluttershy's and not the hospital?"

"Your friend Twilight can tell you all about that.  Funny, though, she cannot tell you everything about me."

"You know Twilight?"

"She knows me.  She hassled me these last few days."

"Friggin' egghead... what about?"

"My origin story."

"Origin story?"

"Oh, right, layman's terms... the story of my life before Ponyville."

"Why not just tell her?  What bad things could come of it?"

"Many bad things.  I'm not going to share those.  They are far beyond your understanding."

"Hey, uh... I don't wanna hurt you, okay?  Seriously.  Could you just let me go?"

"I suppose."  I released her.  At the first sign of malicious action, I was prepared to restrain her again.

"I've got this all figured out." she said.

"Hm?  What's this?  A pony like you adding things up?"

"Yeah," she replied confidently, "I know what this is all about.  You're the one who upset Pinkie, right?"

"Yes, but whose fault is that?"

"Yours?"

"Twilight's.  She planned to have this party in the beginning, hoping to get some information out of me."

"But you didn't have to act that way."

"Says the one who beat me up.  I was simply acting in self-defense... mental self-defense, if you will."

"Look, buddy, it's hard to get used to Pinkie's antics sometimes.  We all know that.  That doesn't give you the right to hurt her feelings like that."

This is what I was writing about before.  The guilt of my actions is still with me, and this conversation as only making it worse.  She was blaming me for actions I couldn't control.  I was almost angry, but I was not allowed to be.

"You're right, yet what you say changes nothing."

She didn't say a word.  Her mind... empty.  Only her subconscious was still at work in that head of hers.

"I'm going now."  I said.  There was nothing left to discuss here.  Unlike most of the others, this one pony did not object.  She simply took to the skies and went away.

You know, all this time I thought I'd feel satisfaction when things go my way, but... I do not feel like rejoicing, that much is certain.  I'm starting to question these methods I have created, these limitations I restrict myself to.  Perhaps coming clean would not be a bad idea... the only time that evil has ever come from them is when I choose not to tell them these things.

This debate must be done in my head... there's too much to think about and so little time...

***

I watch as the files turn to ashes in the fire.  This... I didn't want to know this much.  I've gone too far, too fast, all because I just wanted to get to know somepony.  I hold the last file, File 9, in my hooves and ask myself if I really want to know what secrets it holds.

First Impression.  An evil pony, a manipulator, a lifesaver, and an immortal.  There's too much to process here.

I have crossed off every theory on my list.  I know who he is now.  I know what has been done and what cannot be undone.  I know why he's here.  I know why he avoids everypony else.  I know him.

Now that I know, I wish I could go back and stop myself from ever wondering about this pony.

I opened the file.

First (Good) Impression

This pony was born in Tremomenda (Stlmt. II) in the Pre-Enlightenment Era to a rich family.  Son of Star Swirl the Bearded, he studied much magic and became proficient in most teleportation and levitation magic by age 7.  He almost never left his house.  Many claim to have seen him outside the house at the late hours of the night, but many facts suggest otherwise.

I kept reading and reading.  I couldn't stop myself from indulging myself in this file.  He had family, friends, a steady relationship, a life worth living.  Oh Celestia, how he must feel now.  I kept reading and reading until something seemed off.  This writing was familiar... very much so...

Celestia's writing!  This was all her writing style, and... wait a minute, if the Princesses are immortal, couldn't they have known of the other immortal beings?  They would know him... yet they have never spoken of him, or at least, Celestia hasn't.

That's not all that struck me as funny.

First Impression (in Year 575 of the Enlightenment Era) was said to have been seen and conversed with in an area just outside of town.  Many ponies were sent to look for him and bring him to the Princesses, but none found him.  The race war was raging at this point in time, and many claimed to have spotted the strange unicorn nearby all at the same time, thus it is assumed it was a mishap.

In the Year 1903, it was claimed that he was spotted again.  When the search party went out to his location, they found nothing but a note on the ground.

It read, "Life is the truth.  The truth hurts.  What hurts is healed.  Life's inflictions must be healed.  WTAAO, not yet. The fated one will come, and only she will understand."

To this day, the meaning of the WTAAO acronym is unknown, as well as the pony defined as "the fated one".

In the Year 1990, the last report of a First Impression sighting was in Canterlot.  His final note was found.

"And may the sun watch over the fated one, and let that pony be frank and true.  The fated one shall strive for perfection: finish what was left unfinished, redo what was undone, and arise to the greatest light of them all: the light of the sun.  Praise be to the fated one, born upon this day."(FI sighting note, January 1st, 11:58 PM)

I know what he meant.  I know who he is, and his purpose.  What I don't know is why.

Why go through this much strife, this much trouble, this much time, all to deliver only one little message?  Why do these notes even exist?  Why say there is this "fated one"?  Who is it?

He never said anything about this.  I have to talk to him.  The only problem with that is, as I heard from Fluttershy, that he went missing, and that Rainbow Dash was going out to find him.  So this will have to wait another day until he is spotted again...

I just hope that he hasn't disappeared for good...