The Ultimate Oneshot

by Groovy Pasta

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 427

It is the ultimate in onshot stories. Attempted to be written in under 1 hour.

It is the ultimate in onshot stories. Attempted to be written in under 1 hour.

No spoilelierps, at least I don't think.

Don't expect good things.

The characters were the first in the background ponies category. Bit of a challenge.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-12 13:56:36 UTC

This is it.

It was a dark and spooky halloween night. Wait, no, it was summertime. Maybe spring? I don't know man, it was a season, and it was daytime, and it wasn't scary at all.

Just go with it, I know what your thinking, bud. You move that cursor AWAY from that browse button! I need views.

Alright, now that you are here, I should probably give you a story... but, maybe not.

You know what? I won't. No story for you bud. Don't even scroll down.

Don't scroll down.

No further!

I'm warning you!

Alright. You win. You get a story, asshole. But you gotta scroll down even further.

Keep going.

Yeah, move along.

Hey! You found the story!

Good for you.

"Vinyl, you need to stop poking me." Said Caramel, rather annoyed.

"No." Replied Vinyl.

"Vinyl, Stop it. Now."

"Never!"

"Plese, sto- You know what?"

*smack*

*kerfwump*

"Ow! You hit me!"

"Of course I did"

"Why?"

"You were poking me."

"But, okay..."

The two continued their banter until Derpy showed up and threw muffins at them.

"Muff" Said Derpy with a deadpan look of stupid across her face.

"What the- Derpy?"

"Muff, Muff, Muff, Muff, Muff, Muff..."

With every Muff, came a Muffin from the light grey pegasus.

"Although this is annoying as hell, I'm cool with it. Free muffins!" Caramel said, diving into a pile of quickly-accumulated muffins.

"I'm allergic to muffins!" Proclaimed Vinyl as she soon died.

"Vinyl! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yelled Caramel, still munching on a muffin.

"Muff, target eliminated" The atomoton-Derpy said. Bringing great sorrow to the hearts of many spaghetti-pocket neckbeards, making them realize that their dreams of having Vinyl as a pet and riding her bareback through the magical lands of JuJu will never come to be.

"-OOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Caramel continued, then died.

Like this: *bleh, ded*

"Muff, mission failed, civillian casualties."

Derpy then exploded.

"What." said Lyra, her mouth returning to its hanging-open position.

"I don't know" BonBon replied.

The end. Everybody died.

Not really, I didn't die. Nor did everyone else, this isn't even the end of the story. Who am I? Oh, right.

"Well, I'm gonna fall over now, because of the reason given in these words."

*kerfwump*

(Lyra fell over)

"But, Lyra, you have to get up, it's time for the thing."

"What thing?"

"The thing"

*conversation intensifies*

"WHAT THING???"

"THE THING"

*intense conversation intensifies*

"BonBon, I need you to tell me what the thing is!"

*crying* "I don't know!"

*slap* "TELL ME!"

*le melodramatic faint from BonBon*

"GAH! Useless," said the now detective style Lyra.