Soul Reaper Pony

Chapter 8: The Wedding

        Now, I do remember the wedding between Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza (Cadence.) Well, at least the end of it, after a little crisis in the Griffon kingdom. There was a hoard of Menos attacking their cities, and, not knowing what to do, they asked for our help. Of course, they didn’t know that I was the subject matter expert, so as soon as one of them saw me and matched me to the description of the guy who harmed their soldiers, they lost their shit. But I’m getting ahead of myself (or, behind, I guess.) Lets continue the story

        I was on my way back from the Griffon kingdom, where I was sent at Princess Celestia’s call (she basically told me that I was needed to “help” the Griffons, but in reality, was a way to get a favor from them. She can be a sly bitch sometimes.) What basically happened, was, I went there, fucked some shit up, got berated for hurting a few Griffons, they attempted to put me in prison, ended up hurting some more Griffons, fucked up some more shit, and I left, feeling like my day was going to be all sunshine and fucking rainbows. Of course, I was wrong, and shit went down while I was gone.

        Supposedly, Twi’s brother, the captain of the Solar Guard, Shining Armor, was getting married to Twi’s old babysitter, Cadence. Of course, Twi got a bad feeling when Cadence wasn’t acting like herself, and tried to call her out on it, but unfortunately, it didn’t go so well. This is when I showed up, as I see all of Twi’s friends leave her and Cadence alone in the throne room.

        “Hey, Twi. What you up to?” I ask as I walk from behind the blinds. The, as I knew her then, pink princess jumped as I said this, and did a complete 180 to face me.

        “And just who might this… peon be, hmm?” At this, I looked this bitch straight in the eye and gave her my meanest glare. She seemed put off for a moment, but regained her bearings quickly.

        “This peon is my special somepony, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t refer to him as such, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” Whoa, I never heard Twilight put so much ice in her tone. She was pissed off, no doubt about it.

        “Well, that doesn’t matter, because he’s going where you will be momentarily” and before either of us could react, a sickly green light glows from her horn, and we were both consumed in a fire of the same glow.

        ‘Hey, dumbass, wake up!’ I heard a few hours later. It sounded like Reaper was trying to get me up, but for what reason, I didn’t know. Wearily and slowly, I opened my eyes, only to see crystals surrounding us. And I say us, cause as I looked around, I noticed both Twilight and a beaten up version of the same pink Princess lying on the ground. In a moment, I was on my hooves, and going over to Twilight. She seemed okay, and was breathing, so I decided to check out the other pony.

        As I walked over, she lifted her head up and looked at me. I thought she looked bad before, but just by looking into her eyes, I could tell this was a different Princess then before. She had no malice in her eyes, only sadness and pain.

        “Wh- who are you?” she asked me quietly. I decided not to answer right away, but I just examined her wounds and realized they weren’t as bad as I had thought originally. She was just beaten up a bit, more for submission than anything else.

        “That depends on who is asking. To some, I’m a protector. To others, a lover. To most, a monster. And to my enemies, death himself. How well attuned are you to power and sensing one’s level?”

        “I can feel you. That’s why I woke up when you walked towards me. That level of power isn’t natural, especially for an Earth pony like yourself.” She had a point. Most Earth ponies aren’t that strong in magic (or, as I described it then, power) at all. Hell, the strongest only reached the level of a low Unicorn. “But, I was wondering, what’s your name? And how do you know Twilight?” Ah, she knew Twilight. Before I could answer, though, we heard Twilight stirring.

        In an instant, I moved toward her, whilst shocking the Pink One. Apparently, my quick stepping is a shock to other ponies. Twilight slowly got up, probably bleary eyed and confused. Being “dead” already had it’s perks, like quick recovery time and ability to do as I please.

        “Ugh, what happened?” Twilight questioned incredulously. She was totally out of it, and I could tell that the only way for her to get sober would be to tell the truth.

        “Well, seems the evil Pink One transported us to some crystal cave or cavern thing, and I just met another Pink One, this one hurt, mostly emotionally rather than physically, right behind me. I was in the process of introducing myself to the injured one when you woke up.” About in the middle of my extremely quick version of a quick story, Twilight woke the fuck up and looked behind me. Of course, she didn’t like this Pink One either, and stopped listening to me. Running around me, she took up a defensive position in front of me. I was flattered, really.

        “Wait, Twilight, I’m not who you think I am,” the Pink One said loudly, almost in a begging manner.

        “Oh, really? Then prove it, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza,” in the same icy tone as she did before. Damn, she was scary. And sexy. Of course, this hurt the other Pink One, but she assumed what I assumed was a position of peace. What I saw and heard next, I did not expect.

        “Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake,” and as she did this song and dance routine, I saw Twilight relax, and can only assume her eyes shone with realization. She joined Cadence, finishing with, “Clap your hooves and do a little shake!” Twilight ran up to this Pink One, only now I assume she was a friend, and bounced around, asking her if she was ok and such. I tuned her out as I looked around the cavern we were in. I was looking for a way out, but I didn’t see one that was obvious.

        “Hey,” I yelled back to the two. “If you’re a princess, how did you get stuck in this shithole? I mean, it doesn’t seem like something just anypony can do.” The Pink One suffered minor shock at the use of my… wording. Of course, she just met me, so she didn’t understand at the time.

        “Crimson, stop asking stupid questions and get us the fuck outta here. We have an imposter to get rid of.” At Twilight’s words, the Pink One almost lost her shit and fainted. Of course, she regained her balance and hobbled towards me after Twilight.

        “Whatever you say. You sure we can trust this Pink One?” I responded with a little malice in my tone.

        “First off, her name is Cadence, so don’t refer to her as ‘The Pink One’ again.”

        “Duly noted,” I replied sarcastically. I still call her the Pink One to this day, just to piss off Twilight, but Cadence laughs it off every time.

        “And second, she was my foalsitter, so I trust her with my life. Although, honestly, I still trust you more.”

        “Well, I hope so, seeing as I am your mate, amongst others. And you know what, even as our herd grows, you’re still my favorite.” This time, Cadence did drop. “I wonder what her problem is?”

        “Oh, she’s just beaten up, her wedding is ruined, and she learned that the foal she used to foal-sit isn’t a foal anymore. *sigh* I’ll carry her out.” It suited me just fine. Carrying Cadence and breaking us out of here, well, her dead weight would have been in my way. Besides, with her being slightly larger than Twilight, it probably would have required my entire left arm to do it (why the princesses are so large, I don’t know. Tend to make fun of them a lot).

        With Cadence in Twilight’s purple magic, glow thing, we made our way to my immediate left (closest crystal face wall to us), and I made my bodily transformation. With me ready to kick some ass, I called Reaper to my side. She wasn’t too pleased that I didn’t act till then, but I honestly didn’t care.

        ‘You always care, you just can’t admit it,’ Reaper interjects.

        I reply with a, ‘Shut the fuck up, you don’t know me’

        ‘Um, yes I do! How many times are you going to forget that we are, in all technicalities, one?’ Blah blah blah, knowledge don’t mean shit to me.

        ‘I don’t forget, I just don’t care. Besides, you’re wasting my time.’ Hopefully, this’ll get her to shut up

        ‘Whatever,’ is her only response. Success!

        I didn’t even need to try, and a quick use of shakkaho blew the wall to smithereens, and we made our way out quickly... unfortunately, though, the place was fucking huge, and a maze. I really hate mazes, especially the large, cave types. But, seeing as Canterlot sat on top of these caverns, I couldn’t just blast my way through (I mean, it would probably bring the city down on us, so, yeah).

        We wandered around the caves for some time, not finding an exit anytime soon, which was annoying, to say the least. We wandered long enough for Cadence to regain consciousness. I didn’t expect her to wake up before we left though, so it slowed us down some because of her injuries. It was annoying, and Twilight didn’t know many healing spells at the time.

        “So, Twilight, how big is your herd?” Cadence asked with a defeated look on her face.

        “Well, there’s me and Crimson, obviously, and then there is another three mares. Their names are Vinyl Scratch, Cloudchaser, and Ms. Cheerilee,” Twilight said with glee. “I was actually hoping to get a couple of my friends into it, but they aren’t interested. That doesn’t mean I don’t stop trying, of course.” She looked at Cadence with a mischievous grin plastered to her face. It was kinda scary, especially since, whenever her friends come over to visit, she tries to show me off, like I’m some trophy to be won (I am of course, but I never actually say it).

        “Well, that is certainly interesting. Now a question about your mate, Crimson. Why is he on… two…….” She lost her train of thought, realization hitting her in the face like a freight train moving at top speed in a straight line. “No way…”

        “Yes way, and I don’t appreciate you talking about me like I’m not here. Now, as to your question, yes, I’m the pony that protects Equestria from the horrors from beyond. Like just a few hours ago, I was in the griffon kingdom, where I-” I started to explain when I heard a very angry Twilight clear her throat. “What? She was the one who wanted to know.”

        “That doesn’t mean you give her an explanation as to why you weren’t here to help hours ago.” She was pissed, that was for sure. Suffice to say, the sex later was a whole lot of me on my back and her whipping me.

        “Ok, ok, sorry. Shit, not my fault Celestia sent me to help the bird-brains.” I got a smack upside the head with a magic hand for that comment, but it was worth it. As I rubbed my head, I felt something, and whispered “Are you sure we’re the only ones down here, Cadence?”

        “No, I don’t remember telling you that,” she responded.

        “Oh, so I was imagining that. How silly of me, cause I think we’ve got contact straight ahead.” And sure enough, just as I said that, I saw three earth ponies with an eerie green glow to their eyes. “Well, shit. How do I know whether or not I can kill those bitches?” The answer wasn’t easy for me, but for a certain purple unicorn, it was quite simple. Three stones rose up behind the mares heads, and slammed into the back of their skulls simultaneously, knocking each of them out.

        “You don’t have too. I can just knock them out. Can we get out of here now, somepony is masquerading as my former foalsitter, and I’m not happy about it. They are going to ruin my brother’s wedding, which I am also not happy about. And worst of all, they hurt my friend, which-”

        “You’re not happy about, I get it,” I cut her off. “At least I see a hole up ahead.” True to my statement, there was, indeed, a crack like hole in the ceiling, letting in the sunlight.

        “Finally! I’ve got some ass to kick!” Twilight declared with a grin plastered to her face. It was creepy, yet slightly arousing (not to say my sword unsheathed itself). In all reality, I like the crazy look she can get on her face sometimes. It says a lot about her, and how unstable she can be, and yet the stability she maintains, because of the people around her. I like that smile, because it reminds me of how much she needs me, and vice versa.

        “Now, hold on just a second,” Cadence began. “When did you get so… violent, Twilight? This isn’t like you at all…” She had a lot of concern for Twilight’s behavior, and it was not unfounded.

        “Um…” was Twilight’s only reply. She didn’t know what to say then, nor did she ever have an answer. It was not something that could have been easily answered, no matter the circumstance.

        “That doesn’t matter right now, the only thing that matters is that we stop the wedding before your hubby marries whoever is in your place. And that means we gotta kick the ass of some bitches, and in other cases, kill them altogether. I don’t like the prospect of killing anything that’s alive, so we’ll avoid that at all costs.” With that, I grabbed Twilight and jumped out. Putting her down, I jumped down, grabbed Cadence with an “eep” on her end, and jumped out.

        “Alright, here’s the plan. I’ll carry both of you to the palace. It would be faster that way. Twilight, I need you on my back, seeing as Cadence needs to be carried. I’ll probably carry Cadence like I would a puppy, albeit a very large puppy-”

        “Just what are you implying?” Cadence asked with a angered look on her face. “You think I’m fat or something?”

        “No, I’m just saying that you are larger, naturally, than most ponies. Besides, you’re more petite, and not in a bad way. It’s attractive, and I can see why Twi’s brother would want you.” At this, she blushed, but only nodded. With the plan set, I kneeled down so Twilight could get on my back without an issue. With her situated, and clinging on for dear life, I sweep Cadence off all four of her hooves, only for her to land in my arms, her head to my right side. She blushed like a wildfire, and closed her eyes. Now with the pinkest of princesses (yes, I call her that too), we were off and at the castle in no time.

        We entered the throne room just as “Cadence” and Shining were saying their vows. Needless to say, everyone looked at awe as I busted the doors open, quite literally, and boomed in a voice that put Luna to shame, “I object!!” The fake Cadence scowled at us, just as realization came to her as to who we were. I whispered to some old pony next to me “Is it too late to object to the marriage?” to which he answered, “Normally, no. But I can see why it would be okay in this case young’un.” I nodded my head as I put both Cadence and Twilight down, and began to speak.

        “That pink bitch right there is an imposter. I have the real Cadence with me. So, whoever the hell you are, why don’t you some over here and just give up, cause you lose!” I thought what I said made a lot of sense. I didn’t know that it would have the affect it did.

        “HAHAHAHA, you think you’ve won? I have a backup plan, just for this situation!” With a flare of green fire, the pink imposter changed into a black, bug-like pony… thing. It was probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen at the time, but hey, more was to come later. She turned to Shining Armor, and said to him, “Honey? Be a dear and drop the shield, won’t you?” Unable to resist Chrysalis, Shining Armor dropped the shield surrounding Canterlot, and that’s when all Hell broke loose.

        As the shield dissipated, more, smaller bug things came down from the skies, and attacked the citizens of Canterlot with reckless abandon. It quickly went from calm and peaceful to panicked and chaotic within minutes, and I met the unfortunate fate of getting hit squarely in the chest with a green bolt of magic from the big bug bitch. I was sent flying backwards, and through the wall on the opposite side of the hallway, to find myself outside amidst the chaos.

        “Well, shit. Might as well do something while I’m out here.” With that, I quickly got my footing, about fifty feet above the ground, and went to work. Moving faster than most of the ponies could actually see, I started by thinning out the bugs in the air. I didn’t kill any, though, seeing as I vowed to never kill something that was actually alive (I still hold that vow to this day). To kill the living was not my job, so I just knocked them out. After I knocked out the first few and made sure they couldn’t die from the fall, I made quick work. Or, tied to at least. Unfortunately, there were too many, and what could have been a quick job if there were only a couple hundred of these things, it turned into a hassle due to the couple thousand.

        As I continued to knock out the bugs, I noticed that Twilight and her friends were running around the castle grounds, doing who knows what. I was unable to see exactly what, though, as I met more resistance. Seriously, whenever I knocked one out, two or three more took it’s place. It was a never ending tide of black bug ponies, and it was annoying. Worst still, some of the ones that I had knocked out began to get up. Are you fucking serious!? I thought to myself. What does it take to make these things stay down!

        They were resilient, that much was sure. I wasn’t making any headway with putting them down until a more, permanent solution could be found, so I just went back to the castle, only to find cocoons with ponies inside them everywhere. Holy shit, how long have I been outside? I had an answer to my question when Twilight and her friends were dragged around the corner by some more bug ponies. Are you fucking serious? Why do I alwayshave to save that mare? I didn’t even get a chance though, when I was caught in the sickly green magic field of one big nasty. “‘sigh’ Here we go again…”

        I floated along until I found myself back in the throne room, where a certain something resided. It looked at me curiously, and I saw another flash of magic. She looked at me in horror, and I found myself flying out of the hole I had made some unknown time ago.

        “Well, that was rude. I wonder what scared her, though.” It wasn’t long until a certain zanpakuto cut in.

        ‘You’re dead, remember? She probably noticed it when she attempted to magic you with something. You really are stupid, aren’t you?’

        ‘I don’t need your shit right now, but you do have a point. Whatever she tried, she failed miserably. Let’s go see her again, maybe I can throw her around a little.’

        ‘Good idea, just don’t think I’ll be helping you in this case. She is alive, after all.’

        ‘The fuck I need you for?’

        ‘Exactly.’

        With our brief conversation out of the way, I headed back inside, to see that the big bug was pacing around. She didn’t notice me immediately, so I hid behind a pillar. What I heard was… disturbing.

        “This isn’t possible. No living thing can resist their love being taken from them.” I wondered if that was what she was doing (I found out later that this was the truth). “That… thing isn’t alive, that much is certain.” She turned to Cadence, who was laying on the ground in front of her. “What is that thing, and where did it come from?”

        “I don’t know. All I know is that he is one of Equestria’s stalwart defenders, but he defends the living from the dead.” The big bug kicked the already injured Cadence, and turned to the dazed Shining Armor.

        “You know what that thing is, don’t you darling?” He nodded his head, the traitor. “Well, can you tell me?” He shook his head no, and redeemed himself in my eyes. “Why not!”

        “Because, Chrysalis, it’s a state secret, and he’s captain of the guard.” The one who spoke up was Cadence, and as she spoke, she started to get to her feet. “You don’t have to worry about him, though, because he kills things that are already dead.”

        “You mean to say he hunts down zombies created by necromancers? Preposterous!” Chrysalis only laughed at Cadence, but from Cadence’s stance, she was acting defiant, looking for a chance. “Besides, I killed him. He may have survived the first time, but I crushed him on his way out this time. HAHAHAHA!” I decided to step out of the shadows, and approach her. When she stopped laughing, she noticed I was standing next to Cadence, and cried in shock, “Agghh! You should be dead!”

        “Oh, I’m flattered you were thinking about me. But it’ll take a little more than a little squeeze to kill me, especially since I didn’t feel it.” She growled in response to me mocking her, and once again I was lifted by her magic. “‘yawn’ How boring. Are you crushing me now?”

        “Yes! Why won’t… you pop!?” I only laughed, and reached out with my hands. What most ponies didn’t know was that I could grasp their magical auras, and tear them apart like paper (Twilight taught me it was possible, just as long as I was strong enough and used my ‘natural’ earth pony magic). I grasped some of the aura, like it was cloth, in both of my hands. “What are you doing!? Stop, that hurts!” I ignored her pleas, and tore away her field, making her cry out in pain.

        “Well, it looks like I got the upper hand on this one. So, who has a permanent solution for the bugs?” I didn’t get an answer, because Twilight and her friends were bound and gagged, I didn’t see Celestia anywhere, but I could feel her, and Cadence was… crawling towards her hubby. “Uh, Cadence? What are you doing?”

        “I’m going to get my husband back, and get rid of these things for good!” She continued to crawl forward, and Chrysalis was getting back on her feet. I just shrugged my shoulders, and went to help her get to her fiance (they weren’t married yet, because of all the commotion). A few of the bugs tried to get in our way, but I batted them aside like the insects they were.

        We reached Shining Armor, and Cadence moved forward to him. She embraced him, crying, and shook him, in hopes to get him out of his stupor.

        “Shiny! Shiny, you need to get up, please! Get her out of your head, you need to fight it, please!” As she tried, Shining Armor started to wobble back and forth, starting to get his bearings. “Yes, that’s it. It’s me, Cady. Come on, fight her, please!” We heard a cackle, and I turned to see Chrysalis back on her feet, if a little unsteady.

        “You’re too late, little pony. He belongs to me, and so does his love.” She made a quick change in… something, and spoke in Cadence’s voice, “Oh, Shiny, don’t believe her, she’s-” I found a good enough reason to hit a woman outside of the bedroom that day. I do hope someone finds the tooth that flew out of her mouth, it was kinda sharp. “Why you little- no, no, that’s impossible!” I turned around to find what the she bitch was yelling about, and saw something quite extraordinary.

        Actually, it was pretty strange. Cadence had started to kiss Shining Armor, and both of their horns were glowing. As Shinings horn started to shine even brighter, a very loud ‘NOOOOO’ was heard behind me as a new shield erupted out from the couple, and expelled all of the bug ponies from Canterlot…

        The next day,amongst the debris of a battle we surely would have lost, two powerful ponies got married, and peace was restored. I also got a medal, for my bravery and shit, but I probably couldn’t find it for the life of me now. As for the Changelings (yes, I know what they’re called, I just choose to call them bugs, because they are mere insects as far as I’m concerned), we didn’t hear from them for another two-hundred years, when they tried a new, more peaceful approach. That’s another story, for another time. (I also scored that night, more to come from that later).