A Life I Lived

“Mister Connor, are you awake yet?” Mary said.

“He’s always sleepin’ in..” Howard said.

“He’s still getting used to being here,” Durham said.

“Don’ ‘scuse ‘em from gettin’ up on time. Now GET UP!”

My eyes shot open from Howards screaming. No later was the door opened with footsteps accompanying it.

“‘Bout time ya got up, suns high.”

“I hardly slept, Howard,” I replied.

“Jus’ get tha fuck up,” Howard said turning and walking back out of the room, his jacket lagging behind him.

“Christ, he must really like brown, when did he get that jacket?”

“I gave it to him this morning, I do manage the clothes after all. it is getting colder Mister Conner, I would suggest you do the same,” Mary said as she laid down a green colored jacket on my ‘bed’. I grabbed it quickly and put it on all the same.

“You look horrible in green,” Durham said.

“And you look like a discount Mr. Rogers with that sweater, now why did Howard want me up?”

“He wants you to check the traps with him, see if we’ve got food to eat,” The second he stopped talking was when I started contemplating. He wanted me to check the traps. Why didn’t he take Nicole this time? It didn’t make any sense, but I played along with it.

“Whatever you say Durham.”

“I would suggest you be quick, he hates it when your tardy,” Mary butt in.

“Yeah, I’ll hurry up… why are you still wearing that dress?”

“... It comforts me,” She said before quickly leaving the room with only Durham and me.

“You know her husband bought that for her.”

“... Really? Looks like it was made in the 1600’s.”
“1800’s and apparently he spent a lot of money getting her that dress.”

“A dress like that probably goes for 60 bucks at best… oh.”

“... Yeah, the day I see her take off that dress and bonnet is the day I die.”

“...”

“Well, I’ll uh… I’ll see you later,” Durham said as he walked out the door, leaving me alone in the room. I didn’t waste any time. When I was certain that he was far away enough, I reached around my belt line and pulled out the claw. Gripping it tightly as my adrenaline started to kick in. My hands shaking at the thoughts of what Howard could do.

I heard a small creak coming from behind me and snapped my neck backwards to see nothing. I quickly shoved the claw back into my beltline and got up, ignoring my rapid heart. Once outside, I saw the amber leaves waving on their branches as a one after another would slowly start to fall off the tree. Every time I took a step I would hear the familiar crinkling sound accompany me.

Durham was talking to Mary discussing who knows what. Nicole was sitting against one of the few trees that remained on our little camp reading her book. While Howard stood tall and imposing away from the rest of the group. I picked up my pace and met him at the edge of camp where the forest seemed to get darker the further it went in.

“Took yer time,” He said in an impatient voice.

“Sorry, I was tying my shoes.”

“Whateva. We got ‘bout ten traps ta check. After that, we’ll cook whateva wasn’ eaten. Might not git much from this. Animals’ll are startin’ ta sleep.”

“Shouldn’t I have a gun?”

“You don’ git one yet.”

“If we find some grizzly bear out there, I doubt I’ll be able to defend myself.”

“The fuck’s a grizzly bear?”

“You don’t know what a-”

“Ah don’ care. You’ll git a gun when ah say ya do,” Howard quickly said as he hastily made his way into the forest. I followed suit shortly after.

The cracking leafs echoed around as they reverbed off the trees. Howard and I walked from trap to trap collecting what we could. Some traps were untouched while most were bloodied. Howard would reset whatever traps were set off before he continued on to the next one. There were only three animals we managed to scrounge up. And even though we got something, two rabbits and a squirrel is hardly enough to feed five people.

And even though we continued to check every trap, I couldn’t help but notice the sun getting eerily closer to the horizon.

“Uhh, Howard, it’s getting pretty late. I think we should start heading back,” I said.

“Pfft, wolves’ll hunt in packs. We’ll hear ‘em before they see us,” He said as he continued to walk further into the forest. I stopped in my tracks and just stared at him. The way he acted all the time made me wonder how his group was still alive. His lack of care for others made me question his leadership. But I knew my place. I couldn’t bring it up now, I didn’t want to stay in that forest any longer than necessary, so I shut my mouth and kept following him.

And we kept walking, the sun getting lower in the sky with each and every step. Soon enough, I heard Howard swear in a whisper. I stepped up to him to ask what was wrong. But found the answer in front of me.

The dog was tearing a rabbit into pieces. Bits of blood spattered here and there as it dug into its meal. It must’ve heard us at some point, ‘cause it looked dead into our eyes with such anger as blood dripped from its maw. Howard, with his gun raised, put his hand on my chest and started to push me back.

“Back away slowly,” he said with his voice low. I didn’t need him to repeat it to me. I calmly backpedaled away from the dog, never taking my eyes off it. Howard shadowed my footsteps as his gun stayed in the dogs general direction.

As soon as we were far away enough, Howard took his hand off my chest and let out a shaky breath. I felt the small bit of adrenaline start to leave my system as my legs started to shake. But I had one question on my mind.

“Why don’t you kill it?”

“Wha?”

“Why don-”

“Ah heard ya… Tha damn thang saved-... it ain’t yer concern,” Howard said before standing up straight and looking around.

“We’re going back to camp, just… catch yer…. hell’s tha’ sound?” He said. It was faint, and barley audible, but it sounded like children of all things. Shouting at each other. Howard pulled out his gun again and started to walk towards the sounds, I followed suit.

When we got there, Howard quickly ducked behind a couple of bushes, waving at me to get closer. I did as was told and crouched behind the bushes too before looking forward. In front of us stood two ponies. Their backs were turned to us as they were looking up at the trees. I subsequently looked up as well and saw another pony hanging from its hind legs.

“That ain’t one av our traps,” Howard said under his breath.

“Get me down!” She kept shouting, as she repeatedly buzzed its orange wings.

“How? Yer so high up!” Said another pony. Its pink bow bouncing on her head.

“Yeah, we can’t reach you!” another said as her multi-colored hair bounced around.

“Ugghh, I knew it was a bad idea to go ‘cutie mark crusaders human hunting.”

“What?” I said suddenly. Howard clamped his hands over my mouth and tried to keep me silent. It didn’t seem to matter though, as the ponies didn’t hear me.

“Yer tha one that suggested it!”

“I thought you guys would chicken out!”

“You’re one to talk.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Soon the trio started to argue with one another about who’s fault it was, but I was too busy ripping Howard’s hands off my mouth to really care. It was only after leveraging his hand off my mouth did he finally say anything to me.

“They’re too close to camp…” Howard said under his breath.

“What’re we gonna do?” I whispered back.

“... Help me capture ‘em.”

“What?”

“Ya heard me.” He said slowly starting to stand up.

“They’re just kids!” I said, grabbing his arm and forcing him back down.

“If’n they find our camp, they’re gonna tell everyone ‘n their mother where we are. We ain’t takin’ that risk. Now help me,” He looked directly in my eyes as he said it. I don’t want to admit it, but he was right. We couldn’t take that risk because they were children. They’d more than likely find us.

“...Fine,” I said before slowly standing up and sneaking up behind the ponies.

“Why do we go into the Everfree anyway?!” Asked the pristine coated filly.

“‘Cause how else’re we gonna know if we’re ‘human hunters’?” Replied the southern filly.

“Can you two please stop arguing and get me down!?” Asked the upside pegasus. The other two however seemed to ignore her pleas for aid.

“Everytime we go out here, we get lost, injured or worst!”

“Well, ah’m sorry if miss fancy pants doesn’t wanna get her hooves too dirty”

“Can you guys get me down at least?”

“I didn’t come out to the Everfree forest so I can start rolling around in the mud!”

“Applejack told me that tha animals of the Everfree can smell yer scent, so she told me to put mud on ta block their smell. It ain’t so different when you go to Rarity fer a spa bath!”

“Oh for the love of- WATCH OUT!”

Suddenly, I saw three pairs of eyes staring directly at me, each with their own set of emotions fixated on me. Almost immediately, I saw the pink bowed filly turn tail and try to run away from me as fast as possible. She might’ve succeeded too if Howard wasn’t there. Instead of running off into the distance to be eaten by one of the many predators that lurked in the jungle, she instead ran head first into Howard, nearly tackling him to the ground. Howard grabbed hold of her forelegs and tried to keep her as still as possible.

My attention then returned to the other two that have still yet to move. The one that so precariously was hanging above us was gnawing at the roped that bounded her legs, trying desperately to use whatever method to get out of her binds.

The white colored pony though didn’t move a muscle. Didn’t dare breath as it looked at me. I slowly approached her as she game me a wide eyed expression full with fear and horror. The only thing that even made her seem alive was the fact that she keep on constantly sputtering out the same syllable.

“Hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu…” She didn’t even flinch as I grabbed around her waist and hosted her over my shoulder, still spewing out the same two letters.

Howard, while the filly was still fighting with him, didn’t seem to be having much trouble with the pony. He slowly stood up, trying his best to balance himself as well as the child flailing in his arms.

“C’mon, we ain’t far from camp,” He said, not even waiting for me to respond as he started to walk away from the area. And just as I was about to walk with Howard I heard the disgruntled voice of a very angry child.

“Let them go, you jackasses!” She said, screaming at the top of her lungs at us.

“What about her?” I asked.

“Leave ‘em, we can come back fer her later,” He shouted over his shoulder.

I looked over at Howard and saw his form slowly start to disappear as he walked past more trees and bushes. I looked back up at the filly who was glaring at me with so much anger and hate in her eyes. I knew she hated me with a passion, I just ambushed her friends and was about to leave her hanging. I felt like I had to say something to her, to calm her down.

“Don’t worry, we’re not gonna hurt them. Just stay there, we’ll be right back,” I said swiftly before turning back around and running after Howard.

“LET THEM GO!” She said one last time, followed by a string of insults and curse words, her voice became less and less audible as I made my were further into the forest, trying to catch up with Howard.

As we made our way back to camp, Howard was still dealing with a thrashing child who refused to stay still. But she was saying some of the most damndest things I’ve ever heard come out of a child’s mouth. And Howard was not happy to be dealing with it.

I on the other hand had little more to do than carry a mortified filly who had refused to even so much as blink as I walked back to camp. Durham must’ve seen what we were doing for he was right in front of me the second I turned my head back to Howard.

“What happened?!” He said, practically shouting at me.

“We found a bunch of kids too close to camp, Howard decided that we should get them before they saw us.”

“Bu-but… why would you-”

“Shud up an’ open tha door!” Howard said, screaming out his frustrations towards us at the rather resilient filly that was now trying to bite at his hands. Durham looked apprehensive, but one look from Howard was all it took. He didn’t take one second further as he rushed past us and opened the door to the nearest shack… my shack.

Howard started to tow his way over there, getting more and more angry and violent with the child in his arms than he should be. As soon as he was close enough to the door, he grabbed her by her tail and threw her in, not even bothering to look at her afterwards. As soon as I was close enough to the door, I put the child down on the ground slowly, trying to make sure she didn’t hit her head too hard.

The pink bowed one looked like she was seeing stars in her eyes as she was shaking her head back and forth in a rapid and clear movement. But just as I was about to walk out of the room and close it behind me, I heard her voice say something that stopped me in my head.

“I know ya!” She said. I didn’t dare turn my head towards her as I started to ponder on what she could have possibly been talking about.

“I doubt that,” I said before walking outside of the doors frame and unto the sweet outdoors.

“Yeah, you were tha varment that were eating all of our apples on tha farm. Tha day Twilight-” She cut her sentence short after she realized what she said. I slowly turned around to face her, a look of horror started to crawl up on her face as she realized who she was in the presence of.

“Ye-yer tha one tha-” She didn’t get to finish her sentence as I heard a rather loud battlecry coming from behind me. Turning around on my ankles I noticed a rather face orange blur heading straight towards me. As soon as it was close enough, it jumped up to my chest and tackled me to the ground. I didn’t get a chance to react as I felt her start to slam her hooves down on my chest, letting out a scream as she continued her barrage on my torso.

However, our sweet reunion was cut short, by the fact that Howard lifted her up and threw her inside with the rest of her friends. Shortly after, he slammed the door shut and looked down at me.

“Ya need ta learn how ta listen, boy,” He said, his eyes full of disapproval.

“I doubt I could’ve reacted in time.”

“Oh, so ya didn’ hear her gallopin’.”

“Guys, not now,” Durham said, cutting into the inevitable argument. Howard looked away and started to calm himself down as to not do something he might regret. Durham then turned his attention to me.

“Why are they here?”

“I just followed Howard, feel free to ask him,” I replied back.

“James, they know where we are, we can’t just let them go!”

“I’m not sure what else-”

“We’re goin’ back out!” Howard shouted over the two of us.

“Why, I thought we checked all the traps,” I rebutted.

“We’re checkin’ ‘nother one, now le’s go,” He didn’t wait for me to say anything.

“Why the hell do I even try with him?” I asked myself.

“I doubt you have much of a choice,” Durham said. I scoffed under my breath and then proceeded to follow Howard back into the throws of the forest.

“What are we doing here? I thought we checked all the traps,” I said, the disdain in my voice clearly showing as I was put back into this damnable forest. I’m not exactly the biggest fan of the ‘Everfree’. Hell, I hate everything that resides there. The many countless nights I spent awake because of a random howl, the swear the went down my forehead from the rustling of leaves. If I was given a do-over, I’d do everything in my power to say sorry to the ponies.

“Where’d we find ‘em at?”

“You mean the kids? I don’t exactly remember...“ I took a quick look around the area “... I think we’re-”

“Found it,” I followed Howard’s voice and found a dangling rope cut in the middle.

“So, why’d we come all the way out here?”

“‘Cause this ain’t our trap.”

“Are you implying that some people may be close?”

“A lil’ too close.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Meaning, they might be thinkin’ ‘bout robbing us.”

“What do you…” It slowly started to click together. The rope wasn’t thick enough to hold up any large animals like the lions or wolves, the rope would have easily snapped if a lion had managed to set it off. The height it kept over the ground was enough, just enough, for the tips of my fingers to touch the ground. The trap wasn’t meant for animals, it was for us.

“Oh shit,” I muttered under my breath.

“Someone’s mighta been watchin’ us, an’ settin’ traps,” Howard said, as his eyes started to scan the horizon for anything out of the ordinary.

“Maybe we should get back, I don’t think it’s smart to stay out here,” I whispered to him, also monitoring the landscape for anything that might be stalking us.

“Yeah…”

Looking over our shoulder every few minutes, I swear I could see something out of the corner of my eye. But that could’ve been the paranoia kicking in. But alas, we finally made it back to camp, with everyone sitting around a pile of logs that laid on the same spot that the other piles have before it.

I took a seat as Howard grabbed a couple of sticks, and started to think of what I was looking at back there. A trap that was too close to our camp. A trap that was specifically designed for humans. A trap made for us to get caught in.

‘Why?’ Was the only question that resided in my mind. Why would someone make a trap like that? Unless it wasn’t a someone but somepony. Maybe they had found us already, and were waiting to pick us off one by one. Maybe they were already closing in. Maybe I was starting to get more than a little neurotic from my imagination.

Howard lit the fire, and soon enough blazes had started to devour the wood around it, making a nice fire for all of us to enjoy. At least for the moment.

“We found something in the forest today,” I started.

“What would that be?” Asked Mary.

“We found another trap, but it wasn’t one of ours.”

“I don’t see what’s wrong with that,” Durham said.

“It’s not exactly meant to capture animals.”

“I’m pretty sure most traps are meant to capture animals.”

“This one was designed for humans.”

“And, how would you know that?”

“I… I don’t. I just have a feeling.”

“I think you’ve been letting your mind wander too much,” Nicole said out of nowhere. One of the few times she’s ever spoken to me.

“When I came here, I thought I was the last of my kind, but then I found out that you guys exist. Is it really hard to believe that there are more?”

“James, there are more humans out there, but they’re not exactly as… friendly as us,” Durham said, as he butt his way back into our conversation.

“Then what if they found us? Maybe they know where we are right now!”

“James, I need you to calm down right now, what you’re saying is absurd. They’re not exactly nice people, but I don’t think they’d go out of their way to do something like that.”

“Tha’s where yer wrong,” Howard finally said.

“You want to say something?” Asked Durham. Howard just looked at Durham, eyes voided of emotion and his body as still as a branch.

“Ah just know,” Howard said, looking back down at the fire as he started to skin the rabbit. Everyone was quiet after that, but I began to think about it.

Howard was usually one to keep secrets from people, and he was getting rather defensive about being asked such a question. I didn’t press further on the issue, but if I were to guess, I’d assume that he’d been part of another group whose morales were questionable. Never truly knew what he meant, but I feel like he’s done problematic things in the past. Which made me question one thing…

“What do you plan on doing with the girls?”

“Girls?”

“Ya know, the ponies that we just kidnapped because you felt like it,” I said, a bit of anger coming through my voice, the weeks of frustration from having to deal with Howards crap. Howard only gave me a cold stare before looking back down at the ground.

“Way ah see it, we ain’ got much choice in tha matter, might jus’ hafta kill ‘em.”

“What?”

"Somethin' go wrong in yer head? Said we killin' em."

"... No we're not…" I said, taking an aggressive step towards Howard.

"Who died an' made you leader, boy…" Howard said as he took a step towards me.

"I'm not killing kids."

"So close yer eyes."

"You're not touching them."

"...Ya really don' wan’ this fight."

"Guys…" Durham cut in. "... Let's not resort to infighting."

"We ain't jus' lettin' em go. They know where we live, they can drop a whole-"

"You brought them here dipshit! They only know we live here because your dumbass decided to kidnap a bunch of kids. Do you know what's gonna happen? People are gonna start looking for them. What? Do you think ponies just grow off trees? Their families and friends are going to be worried sick and start looking for them. Hell, their military might too since I stirred the fucking hornets nest. Do you really think that nobody gonna notice a bunch of kids just up and missing? God, it's no wonder you guys are shot at. This dumbfuck as your leader?! I'm more surprised if we make it past winter-"

Before I could finish my sentence, I could feel myself getting tackled to the ground. The air was knocked out of my lungs as I felt the cold dirt hit my back. On top of me was Howard, his angry eyes piercing into mine. Before I could react I felt a right hook meet my jaw, blood from my busted lip starting to spill into my mouth.

Without hesitation, I brought my own fist back and slammed it into Howard. He must not have suspected it, he fell over immediately while clutching the side of his face. I got off my back and jumped on him. My fists starting their own barrage on the man as I kept throwing fist after fist at him.

I was only able to get a couple punches in before I felt Durham and Mary pull me off him.

"James, stop!" Durham shouted as I kept trying to pull myself out of his grip.

"We musnt fight with one another!" Mary said as well.

Eventually, after my nerves calmed down and my vision became less red, I finally relaxed my muscles. Howard though… he wasn't down for the count. After getting up from the ground, and stumbling around for a bit, he started walking right up to me.

"Howard… let's not get over our heads. Let's just-"

Before Durham could finish his sentence, Howard pulled his gun out and aimed it straight at my face. I felt the instinct to move out of the way, but did my best to ignore it. He looked angry enough with the black eye I gave him.

"You ever… do anythang… like that again… I will kill you…" Howard said as spite laced his voice. He looked at me for a couple more seconds before dropping his gun and walking off to another part of the camp.

"You really shouldn't have done that…" Durham said.

"He's gonna be pissed for a while," Nicole said, finally joining the conversation.

"I don't care," I responded.

"I'd sleep with one eye open tonight. You don't know what might happen." Nicole said.

"I will."

"But… what about the kids?" Durham said. Unsure.

"... I'll handle it…"