A Life I Lived

I watched planes land and fly off into the distance. Heard the sounds of thousands of footsteps walking past me. The sound of a small baby boy crying in my arms as I tried to calm him down as best as I could. My arms no longer were thick, as I remembered them to be, but were instead thin, almost skeleton like. The baby boy that cried in my arms had skin as dark as mine, and eyes as bright as the sun. That little bundle of joy and anguish held so much potential in him. I could only stare at him as he continued to cry in my arms. The only thing that pulled me out of my stupor was the feeling of a smooth, calm hand that had pressed into on my back. Instinctually, I turned around and gave my small little boy to the person.

The person that had put their hand on my back was now trying her best to calm down the baby. Her brown hair and entrancing brown eyes held my attention as I stared at her. She looked so perfect to me. To me, she had no flaws, no gleams, no false impressions. She was beautiful to me in every single way humanly possible.

“You really should have payed attention in Ms. Whitaker's class,” The girl said as I continued to stare at her euphorically, and did nothing but look at her until I heard another voice.

“Mr. Conner.”

When I looked back forward I saw a real estate agent talking to me.

The girl on my left was listening attentively at the words of the agent. I tried to listen in, but all I could here were silent muffles coming out of her mouth. The agent then led us to a house that we had been standing outside of, and allowed us to go in first. Once we were inside, I saw our furniture all planted around the humble abode. The couches were already laid out and were already worn out from age and use. The pictures on the wall hung with the dust that carefully stuck to their surface.

“THE POLICE!?!” I heard a loud shout say. I turned and saw the girl standing there with a small baby in her arms. I looked down at myself to see that I was wearing a dark red shirt with a logo that I couldn’t make out. “James,” I heard the sweet little voice say in front of me. But as I looked back up, I saw that the girl was no longer holding a little boy anymore.

“Stay safe out there, I don’t want you getting hurt,” The pretty little girl said. Her face had changed. It wasn’t small and cute anymore, It was now long and elegant. I looked down at myself again to see that I was wearing a police uniform with all the gadgets and such that would be strapped onto it. My arms at that time were much thicker than ever now, almost gigantic compared to before.

“Daddy!” I heard the pitter patter of a rapid set of feet behind me before they suddenly stopped as I felt something clung to my leg. I looked down and saw that the thing that was holding onto me was a small boy. I was about to pick the boy up, but the girl did that for me instead. The kid couldn’t have been older than four at the time, but I didn’t focus on him. For in that moment, I was being dragged to the door by an unknown force, and was looking at the two being slowly pulled away from me. And before I knew it, I was outside and headed to a blue car parked on my driveway.

Once I was inside of the blue contraption, I started the engine and was about to back out when I heard another voice again.

“Me to be like you, but do I really need to know this?,” said a boy on my right.

I was about to respond to him, but I looked down at myself to see that I was wearing a long blue sleeved shirt and dark blue jeans. I then slowly looked to my left just in time for a car to hit me head on.

My eyes slowly opened to the sound of dripping water. I immediately looked around me in a vain attempt to see if I had waken up in a bed, or in my car, somewhere far away from this accursed world. But I recognized the glistened walls of the cave as I looked around, the rocky feeling beneath me as I rested, the small stalagmites that began to form around the walls. The dead cave was still barren with life, not including its one resident. No wild life, not predator nor prey, had come into this lonely cave to greet me or sleep with me. I let my head flop back down on the ground in a disappointed manner and just stared at a small puddle a couple of feet to my left. I could see the small puddle brewing with dirt and sand as small droplets of water had creeped through a crack from the ceiling above. I laid solemnly in place as I looked at the puddle watching each and every drop slowly drip down onto its surface as it reverberated with the droplets. I could’ve stared at it for hours and not get bored, I didn’t care. I was still in a world that shouldn’t be possible, that shouldn’t exist. And yet, here I was staring at a puddle growing ever larger. I tore my gaze away from the expanding pond and looked outside the small gaping hole that I was sleeping near.

Outside, I could see the sun slowly rising over the horizon, pecking the trees with kisses of light as it continued to rise high into the sky. I looked at the bright orb in the sky as I just continued to stare at its yellow surface. I only stared at the sun so stupidly because I was surprised that I woke up at the near crack of dawn. I usually woke up before the sky would even light up. A habit I developed after a year on the P.D. Trying to beat the traffic in a city that never sleeps is hard as hell. But in that moment of nothingness, in that moment of despair and want, I didn’t care. It didn’t matter to me if I woke up before the sun rose or before it was setting. I’d still be in the same world, running away from the same ponies, and still living in the same forest. I couldn’t care anymore, not in that moment. I soon took my eyes off of the burning gaze of the sun and looked down upon the brightening landscape.
And as I looked down amongst the many trees that were scattered about, I started to think of how I got into this mess and allowed my mind conjure up impossible theories. Teleportation was high on the list, but what are the chances that I was teleported into a snowy area? Next one on the list was wormholes but I think I would’ve woken up if a wormhole somehow-magically-managed to spring up out of nowhere. The world ending it made no sense as to how that could happen and how it would bring me somewhere completely different. Time travel made no sense. How would I be able to travel through time to where I am now. A hole in the ground, resurrection, a bright light, a black hole, a different dimension, a world far away from Earth, the list goes on. But none of it made any sense. Honestly, teleportation? It’s inconceivable.

But as I was questioning as to how I was brought into this domain, how my mind had somehow managed to stay intact through my venture, my digestive system began to stir and rumble. My mouth began salivating any my throat was expanding. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten so many apples. I leaned onto my side, gasping for air as I felt bile start to come up my throat. Not even a second later, I began vomiting out liquefied garbage all over the rocky floor and into the shallow pond. I felt the bitter taste of vomit brush up against my tongue as my stomach churned and squeezed together. Between every vile barf, I would gasp for air just before another disgusting watery liquid would throw itself up my throat.

Around a minute had passed until my stomach stopped pumping out all the apples I ate, my body shaking from how much it had just pushed out of me. I wiped my mouth clean of any of any vomit that clung to it and I then, ever so slowly, got onto my slightly wobbling feet. But as my body felt rejuvenated and felt ten times better than before, my feet felt like I was walking on broken glass.

I feel back onto the cold ground and let out an unmanly scream. My feet felt like they were being torn apart from every single angle possible. I looked down at the shoe that hid the painful bastard away from my sight. I slowly grasped my hand around the shoe, feeling the agonizing pain pulsate as I touched it. I almost didn’t want to see what happened to my foot. To be honest, I was scared that I somehow managed to break it, maybe it was bleeding heavily, I don’t know what it was. So, almost out trepidation and fear, I began to take off my shoe. I groaned, moaned, and grunted in pain as I continued to slowly slide off the shield. Thankfully, it wasn’t as painful as I reveal a disgusting dark colored sock that had isolated my foot from the world.

I grabbed the tip of the sock and-like a bandaid-I pulled it off in one swift motion. I saw red blistering blisters that had enveloped the underside of my foot. I don’t know how I didn’t feel it sooner, but it seemed that my brain finally registered the bloody things that was festering on my foot. I no sooner pulled off the shoe and sock on my other foot. Though much less painful, it was in no better condition. The foot itself was dripping with pus. I sat there for a while, basking in the unholy pain that plagued my feet. Every single time I moved the toes on my left foot, it felt like my feet was being sawed off. And every time I tried to move my right, it felt like a hammer was smashing my foot in. It was excruciatingly painful and there wasn’t a thing that I could do about it.

I ever so carefully put my shoes and socks back on, and started to crawl out of the cave. My feet were obviously in no condition to be used and I couldn’t sit back there and do nothing. It wasn’t for nothing however, I thought that the river that I had swam out of was the best place for me to treat my injuries. It wasn’t the perfect plan, but I doubt I could’ve done anything else. My hands clung to the ground and my arms pulled me with fervor as my useless legs were dragged behind me. I pulled myself through muck and dirt through grime and stain. I felt the mud on the ground stick to my shirt and the feeling of dirt staining my legs. And as I pushed forward, past the many trees that guarded my path, I felt like someone was watching me again. It was the same feeling I felt out on that apple farm.

I felt unnerved and creeped as I tried to find the thing that wasn’t there. I looked up and down the trees, through the bushes, and in the grass. But no matter where I looked, or how hard I stared, I could not find a single form of life stalking me. And suddenly, like the flip of a switch, it was gone. The cold feeling was gone, but I felt even more unnerved by it. I looked back around me confused and bewildered by what had transpired, but eventually started to crawl back towards the river again. And I finally managed to get back to the bank of that river with extremely sore arms.

I felt a sweet, warm relief envelope me as I saw that freezing, cold body of water. And as I got close enough to feel the cusp of the river touch my chin, I heard a deep, vicious growling in the distance. I grabbed my revolver and looked around me to see if I was in imminent danger, but I was met with nothing but the leaves blowing with the winds. And when I put my revolver down and looked back forward, I saw a massive creature past the running currents of the water.

In the distance, imposing of power and cold command, stood an intimidating, and impossible looking animal. Its head was that of a lions, its body more dragon than cat, and its scorpion tail making it even more threatening than it was. He looked at me as predator would its prey and began growling again. Yapping its jaw as me as I saw its saliva drop down onto the forest’s ground. It paced back and forth on the other side of the river it stood upon, looking at me with a hungry gaze as I stared at it. I knew I was safe from it; the water would have sunk it under if it attempted to cross, but that wouldn’t stop it from trying to get me. A hungry animal will do anything for food. And, much like that horse from the other day, our gaze never broke from one another. The other not willing to break our sight from one another in an attempt to show which is more dominant.

But as it stared me down and as I met its scrutinized glare, there was another sound further in the distance. It sounded young and similar to the thing that was looking at me, yet it was higher pitched. As soon as the creature heard that noise, it took its eyes off me and ran in the direction of the call, completely forgetting that I existed. I let go of a breath that I was holding and steadied my heart. Seeing an animal as threatening and malicious as whatever that was frightening. I may have been safe on the other side of the river, but I might as well have been sitting right next to that monster. I looked back at my feet and dragged my legs in front of me.

I slowly pulled my shoes off of my throbbing feet and tugged my socks off of them as they scrapped my blisters. After recoiling from the feeling of fire burning my feet, I slowly went back to the task of getting my feet in the water, looking behind me every now and then to make certain that beast hadn’t found a way around. I put my footwear on the side before I slowly grabbed my legs and even more slowly set my feet into the brisk waters. It stung like hell when I first put them in and I had to stop myself from screaming as I felt my feet cry out in pain. But after ignoring the immaculate amount of pain for a minute or so, it was hardly noticeable. So there I sat, waiting for my feet to ‘heal’ while I kept looking around.

I took the backpack off and looked inside to see if I could do anything to pass the time. But the only things that I found were the water bottles and the many bullets that I dumped into it. With nothing else to do, I laid the backpack behind me and used it as a pillow as I looked up into the sky. I saw the leaves of trees dance in the winds, and counted the many clouds that passed above me, seeing them take shapes of animals that my mind could conjure. I let questions run through my head as Iaid on the ground allowing the sun to tan my skin.

For example, ‘how would I live out here?’ A question that needs answering, how would I live out here? In a matter of a day I managed to injure my feet to the point where I can’t walk on them and managed to jump down a cavern and narrowly drown. My life inside of the forest might not be for me. How long would I last out there? There were so many killer animals there and it would only be a matter of time before I was underneath their claws. I don’t know how long I stayed there out on that river bank or how long I may have began thinking, but I do know that by the time I decided to take my feet out and bring my mind back to the real world, the sun had reached its peak in the sky.

I daintily pulled my feet out of the water feeling the wind cool my feet even further as it brushed up against the damp surface. I put both of my feet back back into their blankets of comfort before I shoved them back into their homes. Putting my shoes and socks back on was much more easier and much less painful than before, but the real challenge was to stand up. I carefully put my hands on the ground and pushed myself up as I tried to get back up on my feet. As I stood on both legs, I felt my feet sting as I tried to keep myself standing. So, as a sort of test I started to limp back to the cave, keeping my hands in front of me incase my feet decide to give up. The pain itself was much more bearable, but it still hurt to walk.

But as I was slowly scaling up the inclined slope, I couldn’t help but notice how I reacted to that animal. I should’ve been panicking at seeing such a foreign creature looking at me like food. I’m not certain if my mind had come to accept that I was in a different reality, or if my reasoning had just given up on me.

It disturbed me, frightened me even. But as I sat on the cold ground of that barren cave, I began to think of all the choices I’ve made thus far. Maybe shooting that pony wasn’t the smartest idea in the world, but what other choice did I have? She was strangling me with that rope, and I didn’t have any choice. Those ponies probably thought I was dangerous, nothing more than a vicious animal who just attacked on of their residents. Thinking back to earlier, I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t live out there in the forest with other animals would more than likely end up killing me, I needed to make amends with the ponies if I wanted any chance of living in this world. I didn't know what would happen or how they would happen if I saw them. They’d probably hate me and more than likely lynch me for hurting one of their own.

I saw two options stem from where I was, I could either stay in this forest and more than likely end up being killed and eaten, or I go to that insane world and live out the rest of my life with those ponies. I didn’t really have any other choice. With that in mind I stood back up and began to limp through the slums of the woods.