Big Mac stood at the edge of the forest. It looked calm and peaceful, about as inviting as any place in all of Equestria. Of course, that was to be expected. It was always peaceful. Birds flew among the trees, and he could see a few deer calmly grazing just inside the tree line. The sun was shining bright and casting golden rays through the branches. It looked like a perfect place to have a picnic actually, and most ponies wouldn’t think twice about doing so.
Unfortunately, Big Mac wasn’t most ponies. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, steeling himself for what was ahead. He let the breath out slowly and took his first step into the forest.
The pie cart bumped happily along behind him, the smell of fresh baked apples drifting ahead of it to tickle his nose. His stomach rumbled a bit as he thought about the soft flaky crust, the bits of apples soaking in the thick applesauce filling, and the nice fruit toppings on a select few. He licked his lips once, then put the thought of his mind. The pies had to make it to their destination intact. If even one was damaged, it would hurt the Apple Family’s reputation, and that could end up hurting their business, and if their business suffered, they could lose the farm.
Big Mac pushed that thought out of his mind with a quick shake of his head. That type of thinking lead down a dark road. Applejack had told him about a few times some of her friends had managed to pile one fear on top of another in their minds, until things had gone terribly wrong. He chuckled as he remembered a certain incident involving Twilight doing that very thing. He still had that doll tucked away in his room.
For a while, the stallion’s journey through the pleasant forest was just that: pleasant. The sun felt great, the road was nice and even, without and steep hills or sharp turns, and he even found himself humming a tune as he walked along. It wasn’t long before he was singing a few lines from the Ponyville Quartet’s latest song.
“Find you’ve got the music, got the music in you! Find you’ve got—”
Giggling suddenly echoed through the trees.
“My, what a lovely singing voice.”
“Isn’t it? Such a deep, masculine voice.”
“Makes my fur stand on end…”
Big Mac instantly fell silent. He let out a breath through his nose so that it sounded more like growl and continued walking along the path through the forest. He had hoped his journey through here was going to be uneventful, but it appeared that wasn’t going to be the case. Still, they hadn’t exactly appeared yet, so maybe they would—
“Oh! Oh oh oh oh oh oh! It’s him!” A pair of emerald eyes suddenly appeared before Big Mac and lit up with delight, then the rest of the pony materialized. “It is you, right, Big Mac?”
“Eeyup,” the stallion said as he moved to one side to pass Swirling Leaves. If it was just her, then he might still be able to—
“Big Mac?”
“Is he making another pie delivery through our woods?”
A pair of jade eyes appeared in the trees above his head. He glanced up as Whistling Wind danced among the branches and then hung upside as he walked under her. He heard her gently float to the ground as he continued to pull the pie cart through the forest. That made two of them. That just left Shade.
As if thinking her name conjured her up, a final pair of green eyes, these ones half closed, appeared from behind a tree. They blinked at Big Mac slowly, then the rest of Shade appeared. The look on her face was the same as it always was, and he knew the other two ponies were likely wearing similar expressions.
Nymph ponies. Big Mac had crossed paths with these three on several occasions whenever he traveled through ‘their’ woods, and every time it was always the same. The stallion sighed in his mind again, and kept his gaze straight ahead.
“Aw, Shade, he’s doing it again,” Swirling Leaves whined. She flapped her wings a few times so she was floating in front of him, doing her best to look cute as she blinked her eyes and pushed out her lip.
“Why do you always ignore us, Big Mac?” Whistling Wind asked as she walked up next to him, leaning against him ever so slightly as he continued to walk. “Don’t you think we’re pretty?”
They were pretty all right. Nymph ponies were always pretty. That was what made them so dangerous. They were spirits of nature and guardians of their own little sections of it. They mostly spent their time flittering about their small realms, but they could take pony form when they wished, and the forms they took were always breathtaking. Because of that, they could trap a stallion in their woods for many days—some accounts even said years—with their charm. They never meant any real harm and just wanted stallions to pay attention to them, and after a while they would grow bored and release the stallion from their enchantment.
But Big Mac couldn’t afford any delays. He had to deliver the pies that had been ordered, and they would spoil if he allowed himself to be sucked into the Nymphs’ game. So every time, he trudged straight through, and it drove them nuts. He knew that the more he ignored them, the harder they would try.
“Oh, he thinks we’re pretty, girls,” Shade said as she stepped onto the path, turning so that she not only offered a full view of her pleasant form, but also blocked the road. “You can see it in his eyes. He’s just too stubborn to stop and spend time with us. You know, I like a stallion that plays hard to get, Big Mac.”
Shade flicked her tail and Big Mac swallowed. Shade was certainly something to look at, that was for sure. Her coat was a dark green, matching the shade of the leaves in the deepest parts of the forest. Her mane was darker still, and she wore it in a single long braid that she always had draped over her shoulder. It was tied with a single yellow ribbon that had a small acorn attached to it. Her green eyes never opened more than half way, and she always had her head titled at just the right angle.
“No fair!” Swirling Leaves shouted, diving in front of Shade and thankfully ruining the image that had give Big Mac pause. Swirling Leaves’ little outburst also had the added benefit of forcing Shade just far enough back to make it so he could continue forward. “You’re trying to hog him all to yourself! You always do that!”
“I do not,” Shade said, and Big Mac began his strategy to make it through the forest.
“Eeyup,” he said as he walked past the two bickering ponies.
“See?” Swirling Leaves said, pointing toward Big Mac and smiling in triumph. “He likes me more! Right, Big Mac?” To prove her point, she flew up in front of him again and began flying backward, all the while staring at his face and smiling with emerald eyes.
Swirling Leaves wasn’t as alluring as Shade, but that made her no less dangerous. She was cute, almost beyond reason. She had a brown coat and her mane was mix of yellow and green, like cousin Apple Fritter’s, but the colors blended together and seemed to move. It gave the impression that she had leaves in her mane and they were always blowing. Her tail was cut short and uneven. She had told him that she wore it that way so it wouldn’t get caught on tree branches since she always took the form of a Pegasus. Her emerald eyes were always smiling with joy and eagerness, and she gave off the impression of a pony who was more interested in running around having fun and playing games than Shade did.
“Please,” Whistling Wind said from beside Big Mac, rolling her jade eyes. “As if Big Mac wants to play with you. Does he look like he wants to spend time playing your silly little Catch the Leaves game? He’s not a little colt. He’s a stallion.” Again, Whistling Wind brushed up against Big Mac’s side.
“Meanie!” Swirling Leaves said as she stuck her tongue out and Big Mac’s heart melted slightly at the sight, but he quickly sealed it back up. He couldn’t afford to be taken in by her cuteness. “Big Mac, do you want to play Catch the Leaves with me? Please?”
“Nnope,” he said. Swirling Leaves’ face looked so pitiful that Big Mac nearly changed his mind, but he forced himself to stay focused. It’s just part of her spell. Don’t fall for it. It’s no different than Shade, just a different technique.
“See? Now you leave Big Mac here alone,” Whistling Wind said as she waved her hoof at Swirling Leaves. “He needs to finish his work, right Big Mac?”
Big Mac tried to keep his eyes straight and his sigh internal. “Eeyup.”
Now it was Whistling Wind’s turn. She leaned against him even more and he could feel her tail brushing his hind legs. “Do you need any help?” she asked in a sultry voice.
“Nnope,” he said and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He felt Whistling Wind step away from him. Of course, that meant that she now stood in front of him, blocking his path like Shade had done.
Whistling Wind had a simple beauty to her. She wasn’t cute like Swirling Leaves, and she wasn’t alluring like Shade. She was like Cheerilee he supposed. She was pretty without doing anything too drastic to herself. Her jade eyes were always full of life and asking to be looked at. Her brown mane was simply hanging about her head, never dressed up or tied back, and she kept her tail free and long. Her coat was a mint green color, making Big Mac think of spring and a good day of work on the farm.
But just like the other times, Big Mac simply stopped and stared at her, waiting for her to move out of his way. She would if he stood there long enough. She always did.
“Not this time, Big Mac,” Shade said, walking up and standing next to Whistling Wind.
“Yeah!” Swirling Leaves said as she landed on the other side of Whistling Wind.
“We talked about this the last time you passed through here,” Whistling Wind said and Big Mac suddenly felt very nervous. “You always ignore us. It was fun the first few times, but not anymore. You’re going to stay and talk to us, even if we have to make you.”
“Nnope,” Big Mac said with a shake of his head, although the feeling of nervousness in his stomach was growing. They had never threatened him like this before. They had always just been a distraction and an annoyance.
Big Mac often wished that he could take Applejack’s route instead. Sure it was filled with dangers that could actually kill him, but at least those he could fight back against. He had no problem kicking a Chimera in one of its many heads because those things often tried to eat ponies. Dodging the fire blasts was not a problem for him and he actually found the exercise invigorating. But these Nymph ponies never did anything like that, and thus he had never had an excuse to move them or cause them harm, and that lead to some tiring moments with them sometimes.
But there was another reason why he took this route and Applejack took the other. When Big Mac had first met these ponies and related his experience with them to Granny Smith, she had just said that Applejack would take the route next time and Big Mac would go the other way. It had sounded like a good plan. Big Mac was stronger and could handle the dangers better than his little sister, and the Nymphs wouldn’t bother Applejack because she was a mare.
Big Mac’s delivery had gone off without a hitch, but when he’d returned home and found his little sister covered in mud with twigs and leaves poking through her mane and tail, he knew that the Nymphs had not left her alone. He had brushed it off at first—Applejack was a tough pony after all, and didn’t mind getting dirty—but then he had seen her face. She had been crying.
“They…they said…” his sister had said as more tears had swelled in her eyes. She had never repeated what exactly the Nymphs had said, but Big Mac knew his sister. She had a tough skin and usually didn’t worry herself over what other ponies thought of her. For her to be reduced to tears…
Ever since then, Big Mac had taken this delivery route, and while Applejack had initially protested, he knew that she was grateful for it.
But even the memory of his sister in tears and the anger that brought wasn’t enough to make him want to charge forward and shove the Nymph ponies out of his way. Granny Smith had raised him better than that, and he believed that harming a mare was never the right solution. Even if they were enchanted mares.
“Which one of us do you like the most?” Whistling Wind asked. All three sets of eyes stared up at him expectantly, and his breath caught in his throat. This was a very dangerous place to be, and he knew it.
“It’s not silly little Swirling Leaves, is it?” Shade asked, looking sideways at the other pony.
“Hey!” Swirling Leaves said, her wings fluttering rapidly as she rose off the ground.
“Nnope,” Big Mac said, an idea beginning to form in his mind. Maybe he could still find a way out of this situation without doing something that he really didn’t want to do.
“Ha! Told you,” Shade said with a smirk.
“Oh yeah? Well, you don’t like Shade the most, right?” Swirling Leaves said as she crossed her forelegs over her chest and glared at the other pony.
“Nnope,” Big Mac said, and Swirling Leaves stuck her tongue out at Shade while the other pony fumed.
“See girls?” Whistling Wind said, brushing her hoof through her free mane. “He likes me the most. I am the best, after all.”
Big Mac smiled slightly to himself. He knew that that was the wrong thing to say, and that it would only take a moment for Whistling Wind to find that out.
“He does not!” Swirling Leaves said as she dove on Whistling Wind, tackling her to the ground.
“I’m the most beautiful!” Shade said, jumping into the brawl.
“You are not!” Whistling Wind shouted as she began to pull on Shade’s mane.
“I’m the one that’s gotten the most stallions!”
“So what? At least mine have fun while they’re here. All yours do is drool over you.”
“At least I don’t play silly little games with them.”
“Mine help us keep the forest healthy. What do yours do?”
Big Mac smiled and shook his head. He considered just walking ahead and letting the Nymph ponies fight it out, but part of him felt a little bad for what he had caused. So he walked over to their brawl and put a stop to it. He pushed Shade and Whistling Wind apart with his hooves and used his teeth to grab Swirling Leaves gently by the scruff of her neck. All three ponies continued to shout and swing for several seconds, there eyes all closed, before they realized they were hitting nothing but air.
Big Mac put Swirling Leaves down and then scooted her to the side. Without a word, he walked between the Nymph ponies and continued down the road with his delivery.
“Ah great,” he heard Swirling Leaves say in a disappointed voice. “You scared him away, Whistling Wind.”
“Don’t blame me,” she replied, her voice growing distant as he continued walking through the forest. “You started it.”
“Now, now, girls,” Shade said, and Big Mac heard a gust of wind and knew that the three Nymphs had shed their pony forms and had gone back to their nature forms. He had done it, just like he always did. He let out a sigh of relief and continued forward, once again humming a song.
Suddenly, a voice whispered right in Big Mac’s ear, causing him to jump.
“He still has to come back after he finishes his delivery.”
Big Mac groaned and hung his head.
Author's Note
Ah, poor Big Mac. Always the ladies' stallion, but never desiring to be one.
I got this idea from the comics really. As you recall, Fleetfoot and that other pony fall pretty hard from Big Mac and he is completely oblivious to it. Also, we see that Cheerilee swoons when he's singing. This stallion is clearly a mare magnet, but he never responds in any way to the advances. The only time we see what happens when he does (being under a spell doesn't count) is when he sees a mare offering kisses at the Spring Festival and he immediately freaks out. "Warning: Abort, abort!" This is a stallion who is apparently a little scared of mares. So I thought, instead of having him fight monsters or go on some epic quest to deliver pies, why not have him face what he fears most: three attractive mares who are constantly flirting with him.
Sigh...I wish I had Big Mac's problem sometimes.
