My first impression is...

Wow.

Just wow.

Everything is so... bright.

Really, really bright.

My God, it is so bright.

And the colors are so... yeah.

It's just... it doesn't seem real.

No literally, it does not seem real. It's as if some eight year old girl decided to draw in the universe or something.

My God, everything looks so... fake and cartoonish. This does not seem like a real place at all. Seriously.

It's just... I know I came here to get some peace and stuff, but really.

I'll take hostile takeovers over... cuteness.

And everything is so black and white. Well not literally, but metaphorically. Like, that forest over there. I can already tell that it's "evil" or some such nonsense just by looking at it. It has that stereotypical "aura of darkness" that is prevalent in shows for toddlers or eight year old girls. It's dark, gloomy, grey, while everything else is bright, cheerful and full of color. I can already tell that some creature or monster will come and try and attack me the moment I step foot in that place. And in contrast, the really really colorful scenery will probably lead me to a magical adventure full of happiness, friendship, and rainbows.

Hmm. Dark and gloomy forest, full of bloodthirsty creatures, or a colorful and bright path full of butterflies and unicorns.

I walk into the dark forest, idly walking past some cowering wooden wolves. I crossed a green furred mini horse and with little to no warning, picked him up and threw him behind my shoulder, to where the hungry wolves were huddled up. I really didn't have time to talk to trash, and from what I could tell from his mind when I glanced at him oh so briefly, this was a particular breed of trash that really deserved a kick in the nuts.

The fact that it was an intelligent, green horse carrying a whip and actually scowling in the distance with expression on his/her face, did not bother me in the slightest. I had seen far weirder in my lifetime.

I continue on, ignoring the yelling and screaming coming from behind, and can already feel the "darkness" surrounding me, as the light is slowly closed off with every step I take. My hearts beating, I'm scared, someone help me, this is so scary, yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah.

It's not that scary. Not even on my top thousand list. It's gonna take a lot more than lack of light and a little muffled yelling to make me scared.

Suddenly, a bloodcurdling roar rips through the relatively calm atmosphere, making everything silent.

Honey, you're gonna have to try better than that.

A long drawn out scream comes from behind me, and another roar echos throughout the silent night.

I'm still not scared.

A cry. "Please, somepony help me!"

Boring.

...wait.

"Somepony?"

Really?

Lame.

Another scream, this time filled with animalistic pain. "Oh dear Celestia, it hurts so much!"

Not working. Gonna have to try harder.

This guy must have seriously large lungs or something, because this time, it's so high pitched it could have broken glass. It was
immediately followed by the sound of bones crushing and flesh tearing. This is accompanied by the unknown beings fervent attempts to rupture my eardrums using his really irritating voice.

This is so ameturic. I have seen better ways to scare someone in a children's haunted house. You really need to get a better act.

Aren't you going to save him?

Huh?

The guy who is presently getting eaten alive. Shouldn't you save him?

But I'm in the middle of something here.

In the middle of what?

I'm too busy tempting fate, if you must know.

You can tempt fate after you save this horse.

Do I have to?

Yes.

But why? It defeats the whole purpose of feeding him to those wooden wolves in the first place.

We need information Anon. We don't know where we are, or what this universe is like.

Not true. We do know that this is the land of sunshine and rainbows. It's the reason we came here in the first place, at your insistence I might add.

Well we needed a break. We were too busy, and too stressed out. This type of happy-go-lucky universe is just the type of vacation we need.

Oh come on, we were not stressed out.

You almost bombed a McDonalds just because they left out the cheese on your burger.

That is a valid concern. How the hell are you supposed to eat a double burger without cheese?

A sigh. Can we just save the talking horse already. We need information, about the specifics of this world.

Alright, alright. Sheesh.

...stupid voice of reason.

I heard that.

Shut up.

Author's Note

Meet Anon. He's many things, but right now he's just a guy on vacation.