Where the Angels Fall

"Enough chit-chat! Time is candy!"

WUBWUB-WAHWAHWAHWAH WAAAAH! WAH-WAH-- WUBWUB-WAHWAHWAHWAH WAH-WAH- BRBRBRBRB.. WEIGHWUB, D-D-D-D- WAH-WAHWAH BUMBUHDUMBAHDUMBAHDEE!

    The moment the bass dropped, all chaos erupted in the club house. The dark interior transformed into a tornado of neon lights and dancing ponies, their movements relatable to an epileptic seizure. The dance floor, home to the moving equines, exploded in a flourish of blue, cyan, and black underground lights. Most of the ponies that were not dancing, or drop-dead drunk, were headbanging to the rhythm. While all of this was going on, the DJ of the club, DJ Pon-3, headbanged like there was no tomorrow.

    Trixie Lulamoon, however, was not dancing or headbanging. Not even drop-dead drunk, in fact. The light blue unicorn sat at the bar, her back turned to the assortment of alcoholic beverages as her elbows rested on the table. Her long mane cascaded down the right side of her face, resulting in a don't-talk-to-me look.

    Trixie's purple eyes scanned the interior of Wubberz. Lights, dubstep, and ponies all around were going crazy. Her ears were plastered to her skull, not wanting to hear the offending music. She did not come here to dance to an idiotic song, no matter how much the bass drop shredded its pure, unadulterated, wubby magic. She was here for a reason.

    Trixie's ears went up as she felt the presence of somepony else nearbye. That feeling was answered by a cloaked pony taking a seat near her, unusually close. It was a stallion based on his build, and had a blood red coat, although that was all she could make out. He wore a black jacket and detective hat, as if to hide his features.

    Trixie pouted. "Trixie did not request the company for a stallion tonight, so be off! She is here for a reason."

    The stallion didn't budge, a hint of a smile crossing his face. Trixie fumed at that, wondering how stupidly desperate this pony could be. "Trixie is not afraid to call for help," the unicorn stated boldly, although a sense of forbidding crossed her heart. Something about that smile haunted her.

    "I thought you referred to yourself as 'Great and Powerful,'" the red pony smirked. "Whatever happened to that nickname?"

    "Trixie has grown more modest after her last encounter with Princess Twilight Sparkle," Trixie admitted. "But that is none of your concern! Now, be off! Before I defend myself."

    The stallion glanced to her, revealing richly purple eyes. "Try me," he sneered, gleaming white teeth showing as he smiled devilishly.

    Trixie narrowed her eyes. "It is very loud in here, nopony would hear you cry for mercy. Now is your last chance to exit."

    The stallion's smile only grew. "Nopony would notice you even tried to use magic. It's really not that powerful." Something inside Trixie snapped, evident by the twitching of her eyelid. She only stared at the stallion, completely stoic, wondering how he could be so stupid.

"...What did you just say?" Trixie snarled.

    The stallion leaned back in his chair, still smirking. He gazed steadily at Trixie. "Now, I could repeat what I just said to you, but I'm sure that small brain of yours couldn't comprehend what I was implying. So let me make it simple." The stallion leaned close to her cheek, whispering in her ear. "Your magic... is *weak*."

    Trixie instantly pushed the stallion away, so much that he fell off his seat. Rage showing in her eyes, she rose her head, channeling an explosion spell.

    ...only to not feel anything respond.

    Trixie stood there, wide-eyed and facial features contorted into one of pure rage. She tried again to channel magic, but was rewarded the same result. Her horn didn't even glow. The stallion grinned as he pushed himself off of the floor, all the while maintaining eye contact with Trixie. It seemed as if those two violet irises were glowing, but she couldn't be sure with all the lights around them.

    "Confused?" the stallion muttered. Through the blaring speakers, dancing ponies, and rocketing dubstep, Trixie could hear him just fine. It was as if, suddenly, every other sound but his voice was blotted out. "Why don't you think about the last couple nights? The dreams you had?"

    Trixie's mouth fell agape, all anger draining from her system immediately. She gawked at the stallion with new eyes, filled with wonder. "...You're the stallion from my dreams."

    Said pony grinned. "Looks like somepony's catching on... I see you listened to my request."

    Trixie nodded numbly. "You told me last night. 'Go to the dubstep club called Wubberz, located in Canterlot. 1:00pm, on the dot.'"

    "Nice memory." The stallion's smile disappeared after the applause of the crowd, his face turning serious. "I have a mission for you, Trixie Lulamoon."

"Alright everypony! That song's called 'Everypony's Bangin',' just in case you wanna go home and show your family, friends, and noise-sensitive elders you hate. ANYWAYS! Let's get onto this next one!"

    Trixie barely noticed as the tune changed into a series of beeps, mixed with wubs in the background. Everypony in the room could tell it was building up, no doubt, to a massive bass drop. "I want you..." the stallion held out a small, circular ball to the unicorn. It was completely smooth, and was dark purple in color. "...to take this to Ponyville. Keep it hidden with you. Find a stallion who's pitch black in color, and has one cyan and one brown eye. He also has a cyan streak in his mane and tail, if that helps. Smash this ball into the ground as hard as you can around the corner of a building nearby. Anywhere you can't be seen, but near him. Then, teleport back to this exact spot." He looked around the club. "...Yes, this place is perfect. Loud. Crowded. We'll be unnoticed."

    Trixie scooted away from the stallion, a deep sense of fear planting itself in her heart. "Trixie does not think this is for the best... Trixie has given up her antagonistic ways and does not trust that you will help her keep that goal."

    The stallion did not seem the least astrayed, if anything persistent. "And yet you still talk about yourself in third person, 'Great and Powerful Trixie'."

    Trixie lowered her head. "That is not who Trixie is anymore..."

    The stallion only smirked. It became apparent that the other ponies in the room were getting ready for a bass drop, evident by their increasingly jerky movements and the speeding beeps and wubs of the music. The stallion abruptly reached over to Trixie's cheek, turning her entire head to face the dance floor. Before she could tell him off, she suddenly felt a rush of energy circulate to her horn. Unable to stop due to a sudden fidget, Trixie let loose a destruction spell.

    The violet beam of energy shot out of Trixie's horn before she could do anything about it. It bolted over the dance floor, smashing straight into the turn tables.

    ...right as the bass drop was about to start.

    Trixie stared as the electrical system smoked profusely, the sound of distorted, quiet wubs squeaking out pathetically. DJ Pon-3 gawked at the state of her beloved instrument, before taking off her glasses and giving Trixie a deathstare.

    "Destroying the DJ set when the bass drop is about to hit," the red pony beside her remarked. "That's low... I'm sure everypony else here would agree." Trixie stared at the stallion, before turning back to the dance floor. It was now filled with a crowd of angry looking ponies, all focusing their glares on the unicorn.

    "N-no! Wait, it wasn't me! It was him!" Trixie pointed at the stallion desperately.

    The red pony took off his hat to reveal a hornless noggin. A blonde, wild mane also accompanied his head. "Who? Me? A magicless earth pony? So you're a Party Pooper AND a Liar!"

    DJ Pon-3 slammed her hooves down on her machine. "She busted my machine! What the Hell, man?!"

    "Seriously, what's your problem?" a voice called out from the crowd.

"N-no! Wait!" Trixie tried to call out, but not before another voice interrupted.

    "What kind of a Party Pooper are you? And right before the bass drop? That should be a crime!"

    "STOP IT! Let me explain--!"

    "Hey, aren't you that one mare who got shown up by Twilight Sparkle? Twice?"

    Trixie covered her ears, slamming her eyes shut. "Stop it..!"

    "You know, I could get you out of here," the stallion whispered, smirking. "All you have to do is accept my job offer~!"

    Trixie took one glance at the crowd of ponies, some of the unicorns levitating planks of wood over their heads. "...This is so unfair!"

    "Trust me," the stallion muttered. "I know what unfairness is. This is a dream come true for you. You just don't know yet... Do you accept?" He held the small purple ball in his hoof to her, a sneer on his face. The stallion's deep purple eyes peered into hers, promoting her to ask one more question.

    "...What's your name?" Trixie asked, taking the purple orb from the pony's hoof.

    The stallion, still smiling as he put a hoof on hers, mumbled in her ear: "Call me Vandal."

    Then, Trixie's world became one full of tumbling, magic, and blackness.

——————————

    Garrett's cyan and brown eyes both stared into Pinkie Pie's ocean blue ones, their faces inches apart. Sweat dribbled down their reddened faces as their mouths both remained puffed out, unwilling to spit out the liquid rainbow which occupied them. Rainbow Dash inspected the match closely, amused at their states of pure, excruciating pain.

    It burnt like an orphanage on fire, but both ponies kept at it, unwilling to lose the bet of the century. Garrett's right ear kept twitching involuntarily, his eyes watering and red-rimmed as they bore into Pinkie. The latter was not handling the situation any better. Steam spewed from her ears as her cheeks were puffed out, unwilling to release the Technicolor Water of Deathly Spiciness.

    Rainbow Dash's smirk grew as she watched the two ponies' effort, particularly Garrett's. His right eye flashed with Focus repeatedly, the glowing-like effects acting like a semi-working light bulb. The fact his eyes were more slender than most ponies added to his desperate glare.

    Pinkie Pie put her hooves up to her head, massaging her temples quickly. Garrett followed suit, kicking the ground repeatedly with his hind legs as he sat. Pinkie shook her head furiously, the spicy liquid jiggling inside. Garrett punched the side of his head repeatedly, although instantly stopped and rubbed the back of his cranium due to the agony.

COME ON GARRETT, COME ON! You can beat this mare, you did the Cinnamon Challenge with Erin that one time...

Hey, I thought of Erin and didn't feel internal despair! Character Development, here I come--

PUTAIN D'UNE VACHE DANS L'ESPACE THIS IS HOT!

    The Rainbow in Garrett's mouth slowly leaked into his throat, bringing a new definition of pain to the dictionary. The same thing happened to Pinkie, who responded with lying down and slapping the ground repeatedly, eyes watering.

    Then, when all hope of either of these two ponies ever seeing the sun rise again seemingly vanished, a most unexpected thing happened. Applejack trotted up to the three ponies, a smile on her face.

    "Howdy Rainbow Dash! Pink--"

"PFPFOOOOOOUUUGHH!!!"

"PFPFOOOOOOUUUGHH!!!"

    Rainbow Dash only sighed as her coat replicated the color scheme of her mane and tale. After a glance to the two exhausted ponies in front of her, she wiped most of the rainbow off her face with a hoof, turning to her best friend. "Hey."

    AJ chuckled at Garrett and Pinkie Pie's state. "Ah' see Princess Celestia did a fine job on Garrett's pony form, hehe~ So what was it this time? A bet? Contest?"

    "That's actually exactly right," Dash replied, turning to the two ponies. Garrett was lying on the floor, cyan and brown eyes barely open as Pinkie Pie did the same. "Turns out Garrett said he was allergic to deliciousness, so Pinkie Pie did the only thing reasonable to her: throw him in Sugar Cube Corner and make him eat some sweets." Rainbow Dash glanced at the jet black pony, who was shakily getting up, tongue lolling out of his mouth. "I dunno if he was lying or something, but nothing really happened after he ate a few cupcakes. Pinkie called him a liar, and that the only way to 'repent of his sinful ways' was to make a friendly bet."

    Pinkie spoke up from her spot on the ground, breathing heavily. "Whoever can keep rainbow in their mouth the longest, without swallowing, wins. If Garrett won, I had to give a big smooch to the next stallion I saw, besides Garrett."

    "That's a little harsh," Dash commented.

    "Well not as harsh as the fact I had to give Pinkie a kiss if I lost!" Garrett whined, crossing his forearms.

    "You walked right into that one and you know it, Buster!" Pinkie gave Garrett a stink eye as rainbow slowly dribbled down her chin.

    Applejack chuckled. "Well, Ah' couldn't help but notice y'all were doin' this right in the middle of Sweet Apple Acres. It bein' in my backyard and all..."

    "Only place away from the thieving eyes of witnesses that's not the Everfree Forest," Garrett defended himself, using his teeth to scrape the last remnants of Rainbow off his tongue. "Timberwolves live there. Did I ever mention I hate Timberwolves? Cause I do."

    "You've made it pretty clear," Applejack said, making her way over to the threesome. "So, on an unrelated note, who won the bet?"

    Garrett and Pinkie Pie shrugged, at a loss. "They both spat their entire mouthful of rainbow at me at the same time," Dash answered. "So, no idea."

    Applejack grinned. "Well, Ah' guess that means one thing: a rematch! And this time, if Garrett loses, he has to give everypony here a big ol' smooch!"

"What?!" Garrett sputtered, staring at the farm pony in disbelief. To his dismay, the other mares didn't look like they had the slightest problem with it.

    "Yeah!" Rainbow Dash agreed. "Along with the rest of us: Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy!"

"I would never disrespect my Waifu in such a way!" Garrett yelled. "And don't I get a say in this?!"

    "Ooh! Ooh!" Pinkie piped up. "And it has to be at least three seconds!"

    The mares all nodded simultaneously, devilish grins on their faces. They all turned to Garrett expectantly. The stallion, knowing he was not going to win this one, crossed his forelegs over his chest. "Fine... But if I win, Pinkie has to kiss the next stallion she sees... and you two!"

    The devilish grin on Pinkie's face vanished instantly. She spat out some more, seemingly nonexistent rainbow onto Rainbow Dash. "WHAT?!"

    Applejack's face, however, stayed the same as before: devilishly smug. "Yeah... and for at least three seconds."

    "I would never disrespect the next stallion I see like that!" Pinkie yelled desperately. "And don't I get a say in this?! This is not Equestria Daily, I should not have to make out with my best friends!"

    Rainbow Dash shook her coat rapidly, showering the rainbow off. "Let's make it a French Kiss. That way they'll both try their hardest to not lose!" The group all looked at the pink mare expectantly.

    "...Fine." Pinkie crossed her forelegs over her chest, knowing she would not win this one. Rainbow Dash, a grin on her face, picked up the bucket near her and flew back to Cloudsdale to retrieve more rainbow.

——————————

One...

How the Hell did I get dragged into this?

...Two...

More importantly, how did I lose? I didn't throw up after the Cinnamon Challenge! I'm a professional at Food Challenges!

...Three.

Finally! And three seconds too long, too.

    Garrett's lips parted from Pinkie Pie's, the latter's eyes not focusing on anything as a pleasurable sigh escaped. She blinked unceremoniously, eyes crossed afterwards. Rainbow Dash waited nearby, a huge grin on her face.

    Garrett waisted no time to get this over with, quickly turning to the cyan mare and locking lips.

One...

Huh. I still taste rainbow. Spicy. Kind of fitting for Rainbow Dash.

...Two...

Does the color of these ponies' coats determine their flavor? ...Oh mon dieu I just thought of what that meant. THE IMAGES!**

...Three.

Alright, Skittles, who's next on the Kiss Booth?

    Garrett pulled away to the mare who entered the state of Pinkie Pie, a goofy grin on her face. "Woah..." she muttered. "Guess Frenchies do give the best kisses..."

    Garrett only turned to Applejack, mentally begging himself to get this over with quickly. The farm mare chuckled, removing her cowboy hat. "Guess it's mah' turn."

    "Yep," he remarked, before stepping forward and placing his lips over hers.

One...

A Frenchman kissing a Texan. Don't see that everyday.

...Two...

I spent twenty five years on Earth, and kissed a total of one other human being. I spend a few days on Equestria and I'm already adding three horses to the list. ...Hey, it's not weird, they have human personalities, human thoughts, human intelligence, and are of legal human age. Think about that next time when you try to bag on some poor Clopper!

...Three.

By the way, the author's not a Clopper. He's just nice to them.

    Garrett pulled away to an almost cross-eyed earth pony, who had to shake her head abruptly to get back into focus. "Woo-wee! Now that was a French kiss."

    "Yeah, yeah," Garrett mumbled. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to run into town to physically assault three other mares"

    As Garrett ran to the town in the distance, Pinkie Pie called after him:

"I LOVE YOUR BODY!"

——————————

    "Oh! Hello, Garrett. I see the Soul Ruby worked--?"

"I'mdoingthisbecauseofabetpleasedon'tkillme!"

    "**MMPH?!"

One...

...Tastes like blueberry.

...Two...

Why is her horn glowing all of a sudden? And why do I suddenly have the feeling I'm about to be incinerated maliciously?

...Three.

    "Sorry Twilight!"

    The alicorn almost had time to release the magical energy into Garrett's hindquarters, but he was out the door before she could knock him out. A blush planted on her cheeks, Twilight Sparkle grunted out in frustration.

"Garrett, you have some *serious** explaining to do!"* she yelled after him.

——————————

    "...Oh! Um, hi Garrett! Is that really you? Wow, you look great..! You don't really like knocking first, do you..? Please, come in."

    "It'sabetIswear!"

"MMPH?!"

One...

...Think happy thoughts think happy thoughts think happy thoughts! Maybe she won't hate you for all eternity after this!

...Two...

Please please PLEEEEAAASE don't hate me! You're too adorable to not love me...! ...Wait a minute, this doesn't feel half bad.

...Three...

...huh...

...Four.

....

    ...Five?

.....

Garrett, quit it. It's already been six seconds.

    Garrett pulled away to see Fluttershy's eyes half closed, an ecstatic sigh escaping her surprised features as she nearly lost her balance.

    "...Aren't you French?" she muttered, swaying left and right.

    "You're adorable and I'm sorry," Garrett quipped, before charging out of the house.

——————————

    "Garrett! Oh, you've come just in time. I just finished a few details on your suit... why are you looking at me like that?"

    "Just so you know, I hate this as much as you do."

"MMPH?!"

One...

Why am I not surprised she tastes like a marshmallow?

...Two...

...The author ran out of sarcastic comments to put here. So, you know, think about how Equestria could be real based off of the Mormon religion or something.

...Three.

    Garrett pulled away abruptly to a fuming Rarity. She reached her hoof back, ready to strike the stallion's cheek, but soon thought better of it. She put it back down, although her metal-eating glare stayed. "Garrett," she snapped. "What in Celestia's royal plot was that?"

    "A bet," the thief answered defensively. "Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash can vouch for me. By the way, you taste like marshmallow."

    Rarity, redness evident in her cheeks, almost had steam spew out of her ears. "My lips do not have a flavor, you idiot!"

    "You have no hope of escaping that nickname now, Marshmallow."

"GARRETT!"

    "Tu fâché?"

    Rarity clenched her hoof, horn begging to let out an explosive spell on the shorter stallion. "You're lucky you're employed by Princess Celestia..." Rarity rubbed her temples, knowing Garrett would drive her crazy to no end. Hopefully her business with him will be over soon.

    ...Well, Rarity wasn't sure she actually wanted him to be out of her life completely. He could be a brute at times, but Garrett was amusing to be around. His sarcasm definitely needed some work, though. And he could develop some form of respect for once.

    "...Anyways, your suit is ready," Rarity informed, her horn glowing as her magic grasped his equine-fit uniform. Breathing deeply to diminish any stray feelings of wanting to rip Garrett limb from limb, she turned to the suit. "I made a few adjustments, hope you don't mind..." The very attire which Rarity had put her blood, sweat, and tears in levitated in front of Garrett. The stallion's eyes went wide as his pupils dilated, staring at the familiarly designed uniform.

    The hood, obviously being redesigned to fit a pony's head, was made from an ultra thin soft used cow leather. It was dark gray in color, a couple shades lighter than Garrett's pony self. The face mask was made by the same material, although holes were provided for more ventilation. Medium tough leather was used for the harness, brown and black pieces doubled, sandwiched, and stitched together for holsters, for the various tools Garrett used. The body, located under the harness, was made by denim and a soft leather trim. Pieces of the same leather of the hood was used on his hind legs, reinforcing the knees with brown protection.

    Soft black leather covered the forelegs, complete with tough brown leather to reinforce the elbows. Pads of the same material were provided on the hooves, both front and back, for silent hoofsteps.

    Rarity gave a proud smile, loving how the final product came out to be. Garrett simply stared at the suit, gawking at the amount of detail put into it. "...You got it spot-on," he muttered, taking a step toward the suit.

    "Well, it is yours, Garrett. You may try it on when you feel fit!"

    "Rarity, I can't..."

    "No, I insist! Please, take it--"

    "Okay it's mine now!"

    Garrett grabbed the suit with wickedly fast hooves, already undoing the harness to gain access to the zipper underneath. "...You already know how to put it on?" Rarity questioned.

    "I've been wearing the same suit for eight years," Garrett said, easily slipping into the uniform. "You'd expect me to know how to get it on by now."

    "That's disgusting," Rarity stated.

    "I don't stink," Garrett quipped. After reaching back with his hooves (with freakishly good flexibility), he zipped himself in and did the harness back up.

    Rarity nodded slowly as she examined her work. "...Well, not to pat myself on the back, but I think this might be one of my biggest achievements!"

    "Indeed," Garrett muttered, admiring the suit's fit. "...I remember my suit being a huge pain to get out of, though. That's gonna be fun..."