In Which You Learn To Simply Use An Alarm
“Hey Tavia I’m going to take a nap, can you wake me up at three?” Vinyl said walking past her roommate to her bedroom, she was exhausted from a night of DJ’ing at Club Canturn and failed to notice the door was closed. “Ow!” The DJ exclaimed.
“Oh Vinyl, you’re such a klutz.” Lyra said emerging from the kitchen.
“Oh, I didn't know you were over Lye.” She said hoof bumping with the mare.
“You know I hate it when you call me that.” She said with a smile and put Vinyl in a headlock giving her a noogie she wouldn't soon forget.
Losing her balance she fell on the floor in a heap of limbs. “To lazy to say your whole name.” She said face first on the floor.
“Honestly Vinyl, would one more letter have killed you?” Octavia said taking a drink of something, Vinyl couldn't tell what though.
“Maybe it might have.”
“Just go to bed Vinyl. And set an alarm, I am not waking you up.”
“Tavia, you know alarms don’t wake me up.” Vinyl pouted.
“Yes, I do. I also know that you don’t take being woken up well.”
“Okay, okay, I admit, I get kind of cranky.”
“Very cranky, you get very cranky when woken up.”
“Alright, fine. I get really cranky when woken up… But I swear I won’t this time. Okay? So pleeeease Tavia? You can even pour a bucket of cold water on my head, I won’t get mad no matter how you wake me up. Promise.”
“No matter what?”
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“Where did you learn that?” Lyra asked.
“Pinkie Pie, she might not seem like the clubbing type, but she isn't all kids birthday parties ya know.” Lyra nodded. “Please Tavia?”
“Alright, but you better remember what you said and hold to it.”
“Thanks Tavia, your the best!” She said closing the door behind her leaving Octavia And Lyra standing in the living room.
Lyra looked at Octavia and said, “You’re going to give her a rude awakening aren't you?”
“Yep.”
“I’m in.”
“Ideas?”
“I have a few.”
“Well, are you going to tell me or not?”
“Well, I was thinking we could get a huge scorpion and have it sting her awake.”
“Are you insane! that’s going to kill her, not only that but where in the world are we going to get a scorpion?”
Lyra tapped her horn and said, “magic.”
“Either way the answer is still no.”
“Aww come on.”
“No.”
“Please Tavi?”
“Don’t call me Tavi, and I said no.”
“Don’t be like that Tavi.” Lyra made her best attempt at a pair of puppy dog eyes, “Pleeeeeease!”
“For the last time, no, I don’t need to end up in the hospital with my roommate... again.”
“Again. Why again?”
“Don’t ask.”
“But.”
“No.” Octavia gave Lyra a cold stare closing the case before Lyra found her contacts, they were her brand after all. Her special brand...
“Octavia, hey Octavia!”
“What.” Was I in a trance or something she thought to herself.
“You started staring off into space and your eyes got all huge and stuff. I think you were getting ready to drool.”
Octavia scratched her head in an embarrassed manner. “I had a bit of an epiphany just now.” She said in hopes that Lyra would forget about her mindless episode moments ago.
“Uh huh. What about.” She wasn’t convinced.
“You’re freaking insane.”
“It took you till now to figure that out.”
“I always knew you were insane. But seriously, waking up somepony with a scorpion?”
“Come on Tavi, I was just joking.”
“Sure you were.”
“Anyway, what are we going to do now?”
“What else, we’re going to plot ways to rudely awaken Vinyl.”
“Hehe. you said plot.”
“Remind me why I haven’t killed you yet.”
“Because it’s illegal.”
“True, sad but true.”
“Ah, but would you like to know what isn’t illegal?”
“You’re going to tell me whether I want to hear it or not.”
“Many more things than those that are illegal.” Lyra smiled at her own sarcasm. Octavia merely planted her hoof on her face. “But seriously, how are you planning on awakening her?”
“You’ll see.”
“Come on tell me.”
“You’ll see soon enough. Follow me.”
“I’m not so sure about this.”
“Why not?”
“You’re taking the easy way out Tavi.”
“Do you have a better idea?”
“Always.”
“Alright then Ms. Lyra. Do as you see fit.”
“Thank you Madam, if you would kindly step outside for a moment.”
“As you wish.” Octavia nodded and set down the bucket of ice water she was holding and walked outside closing the door gently behind her.
Lyra leaned out the door and said, “When I said outside, I meant it literally, trust me.” Octavia saluted Lyra and walked out the front door without another word. “Alrighty, lets do this.”
Octavia saw a blinding flash through the window, she burst through the door and couldn’t believe the amount of stuff that appeared, there were: switches and pulleys, levers, ropes, buttons and just about the inner machinations of the modern robot, “Well done Lyra, care to explain to me what all of this is going to do.”
“Nah, you’ll see how it works in a minute.” She gestured for them to walk in vinyls bedroom, “I’m going to allow you the honors of initiating the process Tavi.”
“Before I do, promise me that it won’t harm Vinyl.”
“It won’t harm her… Much.”
“Good enough for me. What am I doing.”
Lyra handed Octavia a pie, “I think you know what to do.”
Octavia nods understanding what she must do, “WAKEY WAKEY VINYL!” Octavia slams the pie in Vinyl’s face and she wakes up smashing her face into the button in front of her.
Vinyl reached up to rub her nose but her bed tipped backward sending her into a pool of runny… Something. Whatever it was it seemed to harden almost on contact with Vinyl’s coat. Vinyl laid there for a moment before a robotic arm came from the ceiling and stood her up. More arms came and held her stiff figure in place while another arm held a hair dryer up to her fur. The hot air from the drying device dried and stiffened the substance more than it already was.
Another pair of metallic arms grabbed Vinyl and set her on a course around the room like a racetrack, what little strands of Vinyl’s hair that was free from the hardened goop was flapping in the breeze threatened to rip out of her mane. A few pieces of the crusted substance chipped off her body due to the artificial winds created by lyra’s machine. Vinyl felt herself slowing down, or was she adjusting to feeling like Road Runner? The machine slowed to a stop and let her down onto the floor, she could move well enough to walk, but couldn’t do much else. Octavia gave Lyra a look that said, “you really are a madmare aren’t you?” She simply stared back with a huge smile on her face and beaming bright eyes. Yep, she has lost it. Lyra’s brain took the train to butter town and melted on the way back.
“You guys… Suck.” Vinyl said very stiffly, sounding as if she was going to hurl at any moment.
“Hey, you said we could wake you up however we wanted.” Octavia said with a dismissive wave of her hoof.
“I didn’t think I would be dumped in a lake of some random substance that hardens on contact!”
“Hey, all I knew was I was cramming a pie in your face, you can blame Lyra for the rest.”
“Still *wretch* rude.”
“While I agree with you I must also point out that Lyra is probably the most inefficient pony I know now, filling my whole house with machinery that did next to nothing.”
Lyra was done listening to her work being insulted and decided a change in subject was in order, “Go clean up Vinyl, me and Octavia have been hungry all morning.”
“Fine.” Vinyl said with a grumble heading toward the bathroom.
Octavia and Lyra left Vinyl to her incredibly stiff misery and headed to the kitchen to fill the pits they called their stomach, “So, how did you do that Lyra, I have to know.”
“Do what?”
“Well, machinery takes a massive amount of energy to transport and you summoned a ton of it in a matter of seconds. I don’t think even Celestia herself could do all of that in an hour let alone all at once. And she’s an Alicorn!”
“Oh, ya know, stuff.”
“What kind of stuff Lyra.”
“Stuffy stuff.”
“Oh Celestia be darned Lyra. You haven’t started studying black magic again have you. You know how much trouble that could…”
Lyra cut Octavia off, “Come off it Tavi, you know I gave up on that when I almost blew up Bon Bon’s house.”
“Fine, but seriously. How did you do it?”
“I sold my soul to the gates of Tartarus effectively unleashing every drop of my magical abilities.”
“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT! ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU HAVE NO SOUL!”
“SHHH! Keep it down would you. Yes, I have no soul, but it’s not exactly what you think. You see, Luna’s guards were looking for a source of energy to help conceal the beast guarding the gates since the last breakout. Wouldn’t want Cerberus running loose again now would we?”
“But how are you still alive if you have no soul.”
“Ding! I knew you would figure it out, you’re one smart little giraffe Tavi, I guess I should have said lent rather than sold. My soul is going to be guarding the gates for the next three years, after those three years I get my soul back to prevent my body from decomposing and essentially collapsing in on itself. And the best part, I don’t age while my soul is outside of my body and I keep all the power I gained when my soul is returned to me.”
“Well my morning just got about a thousand percent stranger. I’m going to make some cheese sandwiches, would you like one?”
“Of course! He’s so hot.”
“What was that?”
“Uh, yes please. And make it hot.” Lyra smiled innocently.
“Mhm.” She said unconvinced.
Octavia walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to look for some cheese only to find a note taped to the side of the fridge that read, “ Dear Tavi, I ate everything in the fridge before work last night while you were asleep. Heh, sorry. :)” Octavia simply put the note on the counter, walked calmly to the hot water tank and turned it off.
“Nooo! that stuff Vinyl is coated in expands at the touch of cold!”
“What!”
A few moments passed by until the house was filled with the sound of certain now miserable unicorn enjoying (or not) a very cold shower. “AAAAAAAAAAH! Tavi the water is really cold suddenly!”
Vinyl walked out of the bathroom looking like a ball of dough with eyes. Octavia fell on her back and burst out laughing till tears welled in her eyes, “V-V-V-Vinyl, you, you, look like Flufflepuff with bleached fur!” Octavia threw her head back into the counter and continues laughing.
Lyra walked over to the controls and turned the hot water back on while Octavia recovered from her outburst. Wiping tears from her eyes Octavia smiled content with the havoc the unicorn endured due to her actions, “let this serve as a reminder to not empty my fridge.”
Vinyl gave Octavia what looked like a very squishy death glare, “Not cool Tavi! Not cool.”
“I’m sure the water is plenty cool.” Octavia said with a grin.
“Was cold, I just turned the hot water back on for you.” Lyra said.
“You should take lessons from Lyra, Octy, she is at least capable of being nice.”
“May I remind you if it weren’t for her you would simply be very wet and cold in bed.”
Vinyl stuck her tongue out at Octavia and went back in the bathroom. “Come on Lyra lets go get some food.”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
“Think we should tell her she could just magic herself clean?”
“Nah.”
Taking no time to do much of anything other than open the front door Octavia and Lyra were out the door on their way to the Ponyville Bistro to get some dandelion sandwiches. While Lyra and Octavia were busy chatting away over food Vinyl sat on the floor in the shower shivering.
“This is what I get for eating the last slice of cheese.” Now a little more content with the non-sub zero temperature waters she stepped back in the shower. Little bits of crust fell out of her hair onto the shower floor. “I swear this stuff hardens the second it touches the water.”
Vinyl begins scraping the crusted substance off of her coat and scrubbing her mane and tail trying to keep as much of her hair on her as possible. Several minutes later, confident she was finally clean, she turned off the water and looked in the drain. It seemed to her that half of her mane was no longer attached to her head. Grabbing the towel with her magic she dried her body and tail leaving her mane sopping wet. As she stepped out of the bathroom Octavia and Lyra walked through the front door.
“Cleaned up have you?” Octavia said.
“Yep, my hooves are a little sore, but I’m clean now.”
“Why are your hooves sore.”
“I had to scrape all of that stuff you two covered me in off my fur. how else would I get it off?”
“Vinyl.” Lyra chimed in.
“What Lyra?”
Lyra tapped her horn, “you have magic remember?”
Vinyl took in enough breath to deliver a college level speech in one go but decided against it, instead she smacked a hoof to her face and said, “I’m done, I’m going back to bed.” She walked in her room and closed the door.
“I’ll be in to wake you up at five!” Lyra hollered. Vinyl gave no verbal response, instead she barricaded her door with a magical spell that shocked anyone who tried to touch it. “Feisty one she is.”
“Just because you’re green doesn’t mean you’re Yoda.”
“Up your butt, should you cram it, yes.”
Octavia face hoofed, “why do I associate with these ponies.”
