Bravest AlicornA My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and Bravest Warrior crossover
What… where am I?
Slowly, Twilight Sparkle began to regain her awareness. It started with an unpleasant, tingly numbness in her entire body that seemingly left the purple alicorn unable to move. The only thing she knew for certain is that she was laying on a cold, smooth, and hard surface and that she could hear voices around her.
“Do you… do you think they’re dead?” A masculine voice asked in the darkness.
“Dead things don’t usually breathe in and out, Danny…” A feminine voice replied.
“The Lung Beasts of Perssia Olmicron Five, do,” Danny retorted.
Lung beasts? Wha…
“Do they look like a mass of repertory orangs to you?” the female replied.
“Well… no…” Danny admitted, “but maybe they’re shapeshifting Lung Beasts,” Danny suggested.
“Alright, that’s just ridiculous,” the female said, “our parents destroyed the last shapeshifting Lung Beast decades ago!”
“Maybe they missed a couple,” Danny said.
“Ah, dudes? Shouldn’t we check a little closer for vitals?” A new masculine voice asked.
“On it, Chris!” Danny called out.
“Oh man, I hope they’re alive, they look like rockin’ pets!” a deep masculine voice called out.
Uh-oh… Wait ‘they’…? Oh no, Spike!
“Wallow, you can’t just adopt every strange being that teleports into the invisible hideout,” the female said. “No matter how cute they may be,” she added.
“Beth, I hear what you’re sayin’, but I would like to point out that so far we have adopted every strange being that’s teleported into the hideout, and that, so far, it’s been awesome,” Wallow replied.
“Point taken,” Beth replied.
Move body, move! Ow! What’s that poking me in the stomach?
“We have movement!” Danny said excitedly.
“…Dude, did you just poke her with a stick?” Beth asked.
With a tremendous amount of effort, Twilight Sparkle pulled her eyelids open ever so slightly. She focused her vision on a tan skinned human with brown hair who wore a red jacket over a hoodie. The hoodie sported a yellow circle on the chest and he also wore gray pants, and red and yellow boots.
Danny motioned to a long, thin, brown object, the seemed to be made out of wood. “This is a highly sensitive, vital sensing device.”
Twilight’s pupils drifted to the person Danny was talking to.
Beth, it seemed, was a girl with long, black hair; fair skin; who wore a white, short sleeved coat over a green and grey shirt; a green belt with a peach colored circle on it; green mid-torso shorts; grey thigh-high socks; and black, high-ankle boots.
“Dudes…”
Twilight eyes darted to Chris as he spoke.
“…she’s coming to.”
Chris was a light skinned man with blond hair that shot straight up and wore a cerulean colored vest over a blue and black, long sleeved t-shirt with a blue circle in the middle; gray pants; blue boots; and massive blue gauntlets.
“How can you tell it’s a she?” Danny asked as he motioned to the purple alicorn.
“Uh, cause my gloves have life scanners,” Chris informed as he narrowed his eyes at Danny and pointed to a holographic display that emanated from his gantlet.
“Bro, you should have said something! I went all the way outside to get this stick!” Danny moaned as he motioned to the stick.
“Danny, you carry a scanner in your pockets, remember?” Beth reminded.
“Oh yeah…” Danny replied as he rubbed his chin.
“Oh man! She’s alive!” Wallow said excitedly.
Twilight focused her eyes on the fourth and final voice.
“I think I’ll name her… Princess Cuddlesworth,” Wallow declared.
Wallow was a large, dark skinned human with a shaved head, who wore some sort of plastic armor over his chest with a light blue circle in the center; an orange shirt; black pants; orange boots; and large, orange gauntlets over his hands.
“Wallow, she might already have a name,” Beth pointed out. “However, if she doesn’t, I second the name of ‘Princess Cuddlesworth’,” she said with a smile.
Laboriously, Twilight opened her mouth in an attempt to speak, “Spiiike…”
“Ah, man,” Wallows said, “I guess her name is Spike.”
“Well that’s not a very good name for a female, flying unicorn,” Beth reasoned. She bent down to get a better look at Twilight, “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be ‘Princess Cuddleworth’?”
“Na… no…” Twilight uttered out. “Where’s… Spike?”
Chris snapped his gloved hand, “Oh! She must mean the little guy that came with her!”
Beth smiled warmly at Twilight. “Don’t worry, he’s safe. He’s lying right next to you.”
Twilight focused and stretched out with her wings and legs. Her left wing bumped against something warm and rough. With great effort, she smiled weakly. “Ga…good…” Twilight frowned as her awareness continued to improve, she realized her throat was bone-dry, and that she felt a number of symptoms that indicated she was dehydrated. “Wa…water…”
“I think she wants some water,” Chris said.
“How can you tell?” Danny asked Chris.
Chris cocked an eyebrow at Danny. “Uh, because she’s speaking perfectly coherent English?”
“Oh… right…” Danny replied. “Sorry, I kinda spaced out at ‘Princess Cuddlesworth’.”
“I’ll get it,” Beth said as she walked off.
Wallow gave Danny a perplexed look. “Dude, what’s with you today? You’re acting even weirder than usual.”
“Sorry dudes, I was up late working on a new time machine,” Danny explained.
Wallow raised his eyebrows. “You’re making another time machine? Don’t you remember the last time you made one?”
“And all the other times before that,” Chris added.
“There was an awful lot of fire on attempt number six,” Wallow said.
“And screaming,” Chris replied, “Don’t forget the screaming…”
Wallow shuttered. “I’ll never forget the screaming…” he murmured.
“Eehh…I’m cautiously optimistic about this one,” Danny said as his lips curled up into a small smirk.
Beth returned with a cup of water and a straw. “Here you go,” she said as she leaned down, bringing the cup and straw to Twilight’s level.
Twilight wrapped her lips around the straw and began sucking up the fluid thirstily.
“So, uh…” Beth began, “never caught your name.”
“Twilight,” Twilight answered in between sips, “Twilight Sparkle.”
Beth smile and nodded.
“That’s an acceptable replacement for Princess Cuddlesworth,” Wallow stated with a smile.
Beth shot her large friend a quick scowl then turned back to Twilight and smiled. “Feeling better?”
Twilight finished her water and slowly rose to her hooves. “Ye…yes… thank you… Beth was it?”
Beth nodded.
Twilight glanced over to where she felt Spike. The baby dragon breathed in and out.
Twilight gently nudged spike with her muzzle. “Spike! Wake up!”
“…Just a few more minutes, Twilight…” the purple dragon murmured.
The humans in the room chuckled to themselves.
“Spike!” Twilight said with a bit more force. “Get up! We’re in another dimension… again.”
Spike’s eyes shot open. “Uh-oh, am I a dog?”
“No, you’re still you and I’m still me,” Twilight confirmed.
Spike groaned and sat up. “Well, that’s good... but I think my body still thinks it’s asleep.”
Twilight nodded. “It must be a side effect of the travel. It took me a little bit to adjust as well.”
Spike looked up at his surroundings, the room everyone was in was massive. Easily three stories high with a number of ladders that led up to other smaller rooms, hallways that lead out, a giant, round window that pointed out towards colorful surroundings and a city full of towering buildings, a large kitchen that sat to the side, a simple brown couch that sat next to a couple of stereo speakers, and a multitude of blue readouts on the wall.
“Cool…” Spike uttered. He focused his attention on the four humans who continued to hover over and look over Twilight and him curiously.
Spike attempted to raise a claw and point to the four humans, but quickly found his arms weren’t quite responsive yet. He settled for nodding his head in their direction, “Who are they?”
“Oh… well… I’m not quite sure,” Twilight admitted.
Chris smiled. “We’re the Bravest Warriors.”
“We’re heroes!” Wallow said.
“The best the universe has to offer,” Danny added with a grin.
“And we’ll be more than happy to help you two,” Beth said with a smile.
Twilight looked at Spike and smiled, “Hear that Spike? They’re going to help us get home!”
“Oh… uh… cool… I guess…” Spike said.
Twilight knitted her brow at the baby dragon as the Bravest Warriors stared out at him in confusion.
“Spike, what’s wrong?” Twilight asked.
“It’s just that… well… they all kinda look like dorks…” Spike explained as his hand finally responded and he motioned out to the four teenagers.
“HEY! Up yours,” Danny shouted as he shared a digit with the baby dragon.
“Danny! You know that’s not how you should express your moop!” Chris chastised as he placed his hands on his friends tensed arm.
“Right, sorry dudes…” Danny said as he lowered his hand.
“Spike!” Twilight said to the purple dragon in a reprimanding tone. “Beggars can’t be choosers!”
The humans present all frowned.
“You know what, bro?” Chris said to Danny, “I’m gonna let you have this one…”
Danny continued to glare at the dragon as he raised his fist and blew into it as if he was inflating a balloon, one of his digits slowly rose as he did.
Spike merely looked at the gesture quizzically.
“Hey, Spike,” Twilight said, “I have an idea… let’s try to send a letter to Celestia.”
“Oh! Great idea, Twilight,” Spike exclaimed, “except I don’t have any parchment or ink on me…”
“Don’t worry,” Beth said with a smile, “I can print you out a quick note.” She walked up to one of the many consoles along the wall and placed her hand on the keyboard. “What would you like it to say?”
Twilight smiled, “Dear Princess Celestia, Spike and I are trapped in another dimension, but safe otherwise. Please respond.”
Beth happily typed away and hit a button on the keyboard, a simple sheet of white paper with the message on it soon printed out.
Spike walked up and accepted the piece of paper happily. He blew out a stream of green fire that consumed the message.
“Dude!” Wallow exclaimed. “Did you see that?!”
“Whoa, radical!” Danny exclaimed.
“Awesome, bro,” Chris added.
Spike turned and grinned to his audience but paused and soon belched out another piece of paper.
“Oh my gosh! Did you see that?!” Wallow said excitedly. “This kid is amazing!” he declared as he motioned out to Spike with both hands.
“A response!” Twilight said excitedly as she trotted up behind Spike. “What’s it say?!”
Spike frowned, “We’re sorry, the dimension you’re trying to reach has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check the meata… uh… metafai…”
“Metaphysical,” Twilight said with a frown as she read the note.
“…metaphysical coordinates you entered and try again,” Spike finished.
Twilight sighed, “Well it was a long shot… so much for getting anypony back home to help us.”
“Don’t worry,” Chris said, “I’m sure we can get you back somehow. What’s the name of the planet you two are from?”
“Equestria,” Twilight informed.
Chris nodded. “Wallow?”
“On it,” Wallow said as a large holographic display of a planet floated in front of him. “Searching…” His display emitted an angry buzz and a red X appeared over the planets. Wallow shook his head, “Sorry, it’s not on record.”
“Hmmm…” Danny began as he rubbed his chin, “I bet I can alter one of my existing machines to send you two back…” He pulled out a rectangular device from his pockets, “Let just get a good scan of you both, hopefully I can figure out where you need to go back to that way…”
Twilight elbowed Spike. “See Spike!” She said motioning to Danny. “These guys are on top of things.”
“Yeah, yeah…” Spike said as he rolled his eyes.
“In the meantime,” Beth said, “Maybe we should start with how you got here,” she suggested.
Twilight nodded. “Good idea. You see, I was experimenting with time magic, and…”
“Experimenting?!” Spike exclaimed. “Yeah right…” he added rolling his eyes.
Twilight glowered at the baby dragon. “Hey, I was totally experimenting!”
Spike rolled his eyes, “Pahleease! You got frustrated when you were trying to make breakfast and learn a new transmogrification spell at the same time and thought you could use a time spell to give yourself a few extra hours in the day.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have had to multi-task like that if a certain baby dragon would just put books back where they belong!”
“I told you! I distinctly remember putting Powerstone’s Encyclopedia of Magic back on its shelf!”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Right, I’m sure… besides, it was ‘spur of the moment’ experimenting!” Twilight said.
“You didn’t seem to think you were experimenting at the time.” Spike put on a goofy, cheerful smile. “‘Don’t worry Spike, I know exactly what I’m doing!’” Spike said in a mocking cadence resembling Twilight’s.
“Well… I thought I did…” Twilight said sheepishly.
“When has using time magic every worked out for you, when?!” Spike demanded.
“Well maybe I wouldn’t have to use it if a certain baby dragon would get up at a reasonable hour!” Twilight retorted.
“You know I need my eight solid or I’m useless!”
“Eight!? Try an average of 9.57 hours!”
“Oh my gosh, Twilight! You really need to stop recording how long everypony sleeps!”
“I don’t catalog everypony’s!” Twilight protested.
“Let me guess, my records are stored alphabetically after ‘Shining Armor’,” Spike said.
“Well… yes, but he’s my brother, so…”
“…What are they doing?” Danny asked as he motioned to Twilight and Spike.
“Uh… I think they’re hashing out roommate stuff…” Chris answered.
“Should we stop them?” Wallow asked.
Beth shook her head. “This sounds pretty personal, better let them sort it out on their own.”
“Twilight! You watching your family members sleep at night to record their sleeping patterns is really creepy!” Spike declared.
“It’s not creepy!” Twilight insisted.
“I’m sure they’ll work it out soon…” Beth assured.
*But then…*
“…And there’s almost never any hot water for me to use!” Twilight yelled.
“I’m sorry if I value hygiene!” Spike replied.
“A bath or two a day is hygienic!” Twilight said. “Spending an entire day in one is just lazy!”
Chris stretched and twisted his back left and right as he continued to observe the quarreling roomies.
Danny sighed heavily.
Wallow’s eyes began to close slowly, and his head dropped; this was quickly followed by his eyes shooting open and him looking up again.
“Aaaaaany second now…” Beth said.
*And then…*
“And do you have to flex when you look in the mirror?!” Twilight asked.
“Hey! It’s alright that I have a healthy opinion of my body!” Spike cried. “At least I don’t spend hours nervously preening my feathers!”
“I’m a Princess,” Twilight retorted, “I’m supposed to look pretty.”
“SNORT…” Wallow’s eyes shot open as he wiped the drool from his face. “See! I knew she was a princess,” he said as he happily pointed at Twilight.
“Yeah, dude…” Danny replied from the couch as he tapped on a video game controller with a bored expression on his face. “She’s only said it like two dozen times by now…”
Chris nodded from the seat next to Danny, a similarly bored expression on his face.
“Oh…” Wallow looked outside, the city outside was glowing orange to match the horizon, “Wait, is it almost night?!”
“Yeah…” Chris replied. “You pretty much straight up fell asleep standing up.”
“…And then I have to pull all the purple hair out of the drain!” Spike said as he continued to trade infractions with his roommate.
“…They’re juuuuust about done…” Beth assured.
*And still…*
“And you… huff… puff… occasionally leave the cupboard doors open!” Twilight huffed out as she breathed in and out with long, deep breaths.
“Well you… uh… snore… every once in a while…” Spike said.
“…You said that one already,” Twilight informed.
“I did?” Spike asked.
Twilight nodded, “Huff… Anything…puff… else?”
“Yeah, one more.” Spike looked up Twilight with wide eyes, “I love you Twilight. You’re my best friend.”
Twilight’s eyes widened and she puffed out her lower lip slightly, “Awww… I love you, too, Spike!”
The two roommate threw their arms around each other and enjoyed a long, warm embrace.
Beth began to clap. “Yay! A happy ending!”
Twilight and Spike’s shot open and their reds flushed crimson as they realized they had an audience. They slowly broke their hug in favor of grinning sheepishly and avoiding eye contact with anyone.
“SNORT… Wait, huh?” Danny said from the couch as he woke up.
Chris yawned and stretched his arms out. “Is it over?”
Beth nodded. “I told you they’d work it out.”
Danny stood to his feet and extended his foot out, poking Wallow with it who had passed out on the floor. “Hey, Wallow buddy. Wake up! It’s over.”
“Uhhh…what happened?” Wallow asked as he stood up.
“You fell asleep again,” Chris explained, “or rather, ‘unconscious’ when Twilight broke out a magic chalk board and started a presentation on how Spike’s ice cream addiction was contributing to higher depression rates amongst the cows of their home town.”
“Wow yeah… that was someone the most intense, yet boring roommate argument I’d ever seen,” Wallow muttered.
“Uh, sorry…” Twilight offered. “Spike and I have a bad habit of letting things that irk us go unsaid until we build up a huge list of complaints, and then things get a tad messy between us…
“It’s alright,” Beth said. “We’ve all hashed out some pretty intense roommate issues.”
-ooooooo-
“WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!” A voice called out over the bases P.A. system as klaxons and alarms blared and the normally blue readouts and glowing lines along the walls flashed red. “CORE BREACH IMMINENT!”
“All I’m saying is there’s three guys to one girl!” Wallow said. “Toilet seat etiquette should favor the majority!”
“OH MY GOSH!” Beth cried. “HOW HARD IS IT TO LOWER A TOILET SEAT?!” she demanded as she held up her hands and curled her fingers up into tense claws.
“HOW HARD IS IT TO RAISE IT?!” Wallow countered.
“Uh guys,” Chris said, “you both make excellent points but none of this addresses the important issue of WHO KEEPS DRINKING THE FLIPPIN’ MILK AND PUTTING AN EMPTY CARTON BACK IN THE FRIDGE?!” he screamed. “I mean, you finish the milk, then throw away the carton and add milk, to the grocery list! HOW IS THAT HARD?!”
“ENOUGH!” Danny screamed, his hoodie and jacket notably missing. He had added stripes of red war paint or some other red substance to his body face and naked torso. “I HAVE THE CONCH!” He cried, holding aloft a large, pink conch shell. “I WILL SPEAK!”
“WARNING! WARNING! MELTDOWN IN T-MINUS 30 SECONDS!”
“SOMEONE KEEPS RAIDING MY SNACK DRAWER!” Danny declared.
-ooooooo-
“Really?” Twilight asked hopefully.
The four humans nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, we’ve had fights over whose turn it is to do the dishes that were worse than that,” Wallow said with a smile.
“Which is funny, because it’s always a lot harder to clean the blood off the walls than the dishes themselves,” Beth added.
Twilight chuckled.
“Uh, Twilight?” Spike said. “I’m not sure that was a joke…”
Twilight frowned. “Oh…” She looked around. “Wait?! Is it night?!”
“Whoops…” Spike said. “Good thing we’re already trapped in another dimension and weren’t going to get anything on your list done anyhow.”
Twilight sighed heavily. “Well, I guess that’s true…” Twilight stomach growled as the pony slowly refocused on the situation. Spike stomach echoed a reply.
“Uh, can we get you something to eat?” Beth asked. “You two haven’t had anything since you got here, and that was hours and hours ago.”
“Thanks Beth, that would be really nice of you,” Twilight said with an earnest smile.
Spike smiled and nodded.
Wallow looked at Chris and Danny. “You two thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?”
The three guys all smirked and raised a fist up, giving each other a little bump. “Soft taco party!” They said in unison.
-oooooo-
“So, what’s in these?” Twilight asked Beth as she floated a soft taco over to her and examined it.
“Whoa… telekinesis huh?” Beth said as she observed the purple glow from Twilight’s horn and the one around the taco.
Twilight gave Beth a small smile. “All unicorns and alicorns can do that, pretty much.”
The room was buzzing with activity as the lights flickered in a myriad of different colors. A round yellow and green robot danced in the center as it shot laser lights in all directions and flailed its thin arms about. Small creatures danced and walked out of the kitchen with soft tacos in hand.
“Can you do other things with your horn?” Beth asked. “Is that what you used to transport you and Spike here?”
Twilight nodded. “Yes and yes on both accounts, though I didn’t mean to transport us across dimensions…” Twilight admitted.
“It’s okay, at least it gives us a chance to meet you two…” Beth said with a smile. “Oh, you must be hungry. The taco contains cheese, tomatoes, locally grown butter lettuce, sour cream, ground beef...”
“Beef?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah, uh… oh right, you’re a pony so you probably don’t…”
Twilight got a mad glint in her eye as she brought the taco up to her mouth and quickly devoured it.
“Uh…” Beth trailed off.
“Spwifke,” she shouted through a mouthful of food, “thwey haff mweat hwere!”
“I know!” Spike replied from across the room as he stood next to Wallow, “I’ve eaten like five tacos, already.”
Twilight swallowed the food in her mouth and looked back up Beth with a slight blush on her face, “Sorry… we’ve only had meat one other time. The last time we found ourselves in another dimension… Animals have a tendency to be able to talk on my world, so it makes a carnivores diet a bit awkward… “
Beth chuckled. “I can see how that could be an issue.”
From across the room, Wallow introduced Spike to a number of the creatures that danced around the room.
“…And this is Impossibear,” Wallow said as he motioned to a furry creature roughly the same height as Spike. The creator’s fur was similar to that of a rainbows starting out as green at his feet and changing to light blue, light green, yellow then finally orange at its head.
“Impossibear, ‘sup?” Spike greeted, “love the ‘stache.” Spike said as he flicked out a claw and pointed it at Impossibear’s bushy, red mustache.
Impossibear grinned. “Aw, now don’tcha have fine taste in facial hair?”
Spike chuckled. “Well, I’ve been known to dabble in ‘stache land myself.” Spike turned and shouted at Twilight from across the room. “Hey, Twilight! Can I get a number 25 over here?”
Twilight smiled and rolled her eyes. A purple beam shot out from her horn and shot over to Spike, causing his upper lip to glow purple for a bit before black facial hair grew out.
“Ooooh…” Beth uttered as she gave an impressed clap.
“Well bless my impossibuns,” Impossibear cried. “Ain’t that a rockin’ collection of whiskers?”
Wallow chuckled excitedly. “Do me! Do me!” he cried as he motioned towards his face.
Twilight smiled and with another purple blast, Wallow was sporting a black fu manchu mustache.
“Oh man! Sparkler is passing out free mustaches?!” Danny asked cheerfully as he held a taco and walked up to Beth and Twilight.
“I want a mustache!” Chris called out as walked up right behind Danny, also holding a taco.
Twilight chuckled and Beth broke into laughter as Twilight passed out a couple more magic mustaches, Danny ending up with a bushy, thick straight line of hair under his lip and Chris getting a handlebar mustache.
“Sweeeeeet…” the two men declared at they looked down at their new mustaches.
“Oh man, Wallow baby,” Impossibear began, “you find the best new friends to come hang with us.”
“Awww, shucks…” Spike said.
“And here’s Catbug,” Wallow said as a light blue cat with a lady bug shell walked up to Spike.
“Are you stealing my friend?!” Catbug demanded in a high-pitched voice as he pushed his face within inches of Spike’s.
“Uh, no? I’m just chillin’…” Spike replied as he backed up a half step.
“Yeah, it’s all good, baby,” Impossibear said. “Now why don’t you scoot along while I show my new, awesome dragon friend here my collection of diabetes support socks?”
A low growl began to emanate from Catbug.
“Catbug,” Wallow said in a warning tone, “be nice… Spike was just…”
“DIE, FRIEND STEALER!” Catbug cried as he pounced.
“Wha-AH!” Spike cried in alarm as the light blue cat leapt onto him and forced him to the ground.
Catbug began feverously scratching at Spike’s thick hide.
“AHHHHHHHH!” Spike cried. “Get ‘em off! GeEeEeT him off!”
“CATBUG! NO!” Wallow cried. “THAT’S NOT HOW WE MAKE FRIENDS!”
“Spike!” Twilight called out in alarm as she rushed over to the scene of violence. With a purple glow, Catbug was separated from the purple dragon and held aloft a few feet from the ground. She gently set Spike on the floor. “Are you alright?”
Spike looked over the scratch marks on his thick scales and sighed. “Nothing hurt but my pride,” he answered.
“CATBUG!” Wallow said forcefully as Twilight continued to hold the light blue cat in the air, “That was uncool! Spike was just being friendly.”
“…I’m sorry,” Catbug replied as he hung his head.
“Don’t apologize to me,” Wallow said. “Apologize to Spike.”
Twilight gently let Catbug on the ground.
“I’m sorry Spike,” Catbug said. “Hug?” he asked as he held his arms open wide.
Spike tentatively approached Catbug and put his arms around him as Catbug wrapped his own arms around Spike.
Catbug leaned his mouth in close to one of Spike’s green head fins. “Never go to sleep alone…” he whispered darkly in his high pitched voice.
Spike put on a pensive expression as he broke the embrace and quickly backed up closer to Twilight.
“I know what will blow that frown right off your face!” Impossibear declared. “I got you a present~!” He said to Spike as he held aloft a wrapped item with red wires that stuck out from the gift and a digital display that counted down.
“Impossibear! No! Give that to me!” Wallow cried as he reached for the wrapped item.
Impossibear pulled the gift out of reach of the large man. “Nu-uh-uh, this is for my new buddy, Spike.”
Catbug began to growl once more.
“Impossibear, please!” Wallow pleaded. “You’ll kill us all!”
Danny sighed. “Man, why does every taco party have to end in potential death by explosion?”
“I hear ya man,” Chris replied.
“Guys! This is serious,” Beth cried, “we might all die.”
“Why do I get the feeling you’re better off without that present?” Twilight said.
“Uh, because most everyone here is convinced it’s going to kill us?” Spike suggested.
“I was being rhetorical,” Twilight explained.
“Oh… right…” Spike replied.
“MINE!” Catbug cried as he leapt onto the gift.
“Catbug! NO!” Wallow cried.
“Uh… Catbug?” Chris said. “You might want to let go of that,” he suggested as he pointed to the gift.
Catbug’s lower lip began to quiver. “But…”
“Yeah, man!” Impossibear said. “You know I love ya, baby, but this is seriously uncool.”
Catbug sighed as his shell parted exposing his gossamer wings. He flittered off the package.
Impossibear smiled and placed his gift in front of Spike.
“Uh, Twilight… the numbers are getting lower…” Spike said as his voice began to turn panicky.
Twilight’s eyes shot open wide as the counter hit single digits.
“Twilight!” Beth called as she stood by an open window. “Over here!”
Twilight’s horn glowed purple and the package lifted up into the air as the same colored glow surrounded it. Twilight sprinted with the package following close behind and quickly used her magic to toss it outside where it exploded in a loud and violent fireball.
The group breathed a collective sigh of relief.
“Nice going, Twilight,” Spike said as he gave his friend an earnest smile.
“Yeah, you really saved our bacon there,” Wallow said.
“Let’s hear it for Twilight Sparkle!” Chris said.
A touch of red entered Twilight’s cheeks and she grinned sheepishly as the group began to clap and cheer for her.
“Now why’d you go a do a thing like that?” Impossibear asked in an irritated tone of voice. “I got you one, too!” Impossibear said as he held aloft yet another package complete with red wires and a counter on the front.
“AHHH!” Spike and Twilight yelped in alarm.
“Impossibear! NO!” Wallow cried.
Danny sighed and shook his head. “We really need to catch the space chicken that keeps giving those to him…”
-ooooooo-
“Voilà!” Danny said as he pulled a sheet over a large, chromed device. “The double, dimensional transporter.”
The device sported a couple of uncomfortable looking chairs complete with heavy duty looking restraints that went over the wrists and ankles of whoever sat in them. Suspended above the chairs where a couple of oval shaped devices that ended in apertures which pointed downward, and below the chairs where a pair of funnels that tapered off into small holes.
Twilight and Spike eyed the large, sinister looking device, then exchanged pensive glances.
“Uh… how does it work?” Twilight asked.
“Well, it only creates a small dimensional hole,” Danny began, “so first it has to rip apart your molecules and basically melt you so you can fit.”
Spike winced. “Does that hurt?”
“Oh man, it hurts like you would not believe!” Danny replied.
Twilight’s and Spike’s pensive expressions zoomed right past worried and crash landed in terrified territory.
“Now, if my lovely assistant would present me with my demonstration tools…” Danny said.
Wallow chuckled as he walked forward with a couple of soft tacos and a blender.
Danny took the items and sat them on a table. He plugged the blender into a nearby wall outlet. “Imagine these two soft tacos are you two,” Danny said as he put the tacos into the blender and put it on its highest setting.
Twilight and Spike’s eyes widened as the blender turned the tacos into a brown sludge of chopped up food particles.
Catbug fluttered onto the table as he examined the demonstration with keen interest.
Danny held up a straw. “This straw is the pathway between our dimensions,” he said as he handed the straw to Catbug, “and Catbug is your dimension.”
“Yay! Soft Taco soup!” Catbug cried as he put the straw into the mixture and began sucking up the sludge with a moist, sickly sound that left Twilight and Spike cringing.
“Uh,” Twilight began, “is there a part of this explanation where the tacos that have had their molecules ripped apart get reassembled back into tacos?”
Danny paused and raised a hand to his chin as he thought about this. “Uh… you know what? I think the dimensional travel machine needs a few bugs worked out of it before we give it a go.”
Twilight and Spike chomped at their lower lips as they exchanged glances once more.
“Don’t worry guys, we’ll get you home somehow,” Beth assured. She lowered her eyelids slightly and shot Danny a quick look, “Alive and well,” she added.
Danny responded in a small nervous chuckle as he looked over the device.
Chris nodded. “We’ll make it our number one priority,” he announced dramatically. He kneeled down and placed his large glove on Twilight’s shoulder as he smiled warmly, “we’ll get you two home safely, I promise.”
Twilight smiled up at the blond human. “Thanks, Chris.”
“Until then you two can bunk with me!” Wallow announced. “And pretty much all our other friends,” he added.
Twilight and Spike gave each other an unsure look as Catbug began to emit another low growl.
“Uh, thanks Wallow,” Twilight said, “but I think Spike and I could use some alone time to collect our thoughts.”
“Aww, dis…” Wallow replied with a disappointed look.
Beth smiled and nodded. “It’s okay Twilight, we understand. I’ll get a guest room ready for you two.”
-ooooooo-
Twilight sighed heavily as she stared up as the ceiling of metal panels above her in the dim glow of the readouts of the room. She laid in bed with the covers pulled over her chest and looked off into space with a pensive expression.
Spike stirred as he laid next to her in the bed. “Can’t sleep?”
Twilight shook her head. “This place is just so different and weird. I’m used to Ponyville getting a bit crazy but this place has it beat by miles and miles in terms of how strange it is. Not to mention how dangerous it can get at a moment’s notice.”
“It’s alright, Twilight,” Spike assured, “I mean… everyone seems really nice… uh… for the most part. And they said they’d help us… even if they do look like dorks.”
“I guess so,” Twilight said meekly. “I just feel like a fish out of water here. I mean, at least I still have my magic here and it seems a talking alicorn and a baby dragon is nothing to go nuts over, but I have no clue how to get us back!” she cried.
“You worry too much,” Spike said dismissively. “We’ll be back before you know it.”
“Well, what if we’re not?” Twilight said as she sat up and bed and motioned out with her forehooves, “What if we’re stuck here for a long time or forever, even! It’ll be all my fault just because I got impatient!” Twilight sighed, “I’m a horrible princess…”
Spike shook his head. “You’re not horrible! You saved us all at the taco party,” he reminded, “like… a half dozen times!”
“That was just simple levitation,” Twilight said. “It’s not like I remember enough about what I was doing to send us home.”
“It’ll be okay!” Spike said. “You’re the smartest pony I know! We’ll work it all out, you’ll see.”
“I wish I had your confidence,” Twilight murmured.
Spike shimmied closer to the purple alicorn, and pressed himself against her warm body, “Don’t worry Twilight… yawn… you’ll feel better in the morning.”
Twilight gave the baby dragon a small smile, and nuzzled him lightly, “Maybe you’re right Spike… Maybe a little sleep is all I need.” Twilight rested her head against the baby dragon and closed her eyes. Despite the fact that her mind was swimming with doubt and worry, exhaustion eventually dragged the alicorn into sleep.
Bravest Alicorn Part2:
“Beth… Beth…”
Twilight’s eyes groggily opened as he heard Wallows whispering voice.
“What?” Beth asked quietly.
“Isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?” Wallow asked.
Twilight’s ears perked up at the sound of approaching footsteps, she heard Beth emit a soft, girly squeal. Twilight looked down to see she had wrapped her arms, legs, and even wings around Spike who was gently snoring away. Redness began to enter her cheeks as she sat up in the bed.
Wallow chuckled, “Sorry, but you two where just so adorbs together.”
Beth nodded with a giant smile as her cheeks burned with a luminescent shade of red.
“Uh… alright…” Twilight said. “So…”
“Oh, right!” Wallow said. “Chris has a lead on how to get you two home!”
“And you won’t have to be melted for it to work,” Beth added with a smile.
“Really?!” Twilight exclaimed excitedly. She began to gently nudge the baby dragon that was sleeping next to her. “Spike! Wake up! Chris might have found a way for us to get home!”
“Just… just 10 more minutes,” Spike mumbled out.
“SPIKE!” Twilight shouted.
“Alright, alright, I’m up…” Spike said as he sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes.
Twilight leapt off the bed and landed on her hooves.
“Whoa…” Spike exclaimed as a purple glow enveloped him and Twilight gently floated him onto her back.
“Lead the way!” Twilight said excitedly to Beth and Wallow.
The two humans led Twilight and Spike back into the massive room they had initially arrived at.
“Good morning Princess Twilight Sparkle,” Chris said cheerfully as Twilight entered with Spike on her back. “Good morning Spike.”
Twilight chuckled, “You can just call me Twilight.”
“’Morning Sparkler, ‘morning Spike.” Danny said.
Twilight smiled and rolled her eyes. “Or that…”
“’Sup everyone,” Spike greeted as he stepped off of Twilight’s back and onto his feet.
“Good news,” Chris said, “when I woke up this morning I found a postcard from myself!”
Danny raised an eyebrow at his friend. “How many soft tacos did you have last night, bro?”
Chris stared at Danny and lowered his eyebrows slightly. “I meant my future self, natch.”
Danny’s face lit up, “The Emotion Lord? Radical!”
Twilight looked up at Beth. “Emotion Lord?”
“Chris’s future self can travel back in time and has lots of strange abilities that he uses to help us,” Beth explained.
“Huh…” Twilight answered. She glanced at the purple dragon. “You following all this?”
Spike shrugged. “I’m quickly learning not to question anything.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Pinkie would be proud of you.”
“As cool as it is that The Emotion Lord paid us a visit like some sort of time traveling Santa Claus,” Danny began, “How come Chris’s future self can go back in the past without consequence, but future me has to travel back to smash one of my machines every time I try it?” Danny demanded with a sullen expression on his face.
“You jelly?” Wallow asked with a smirk.
“Totally,” Danny admitted with an angry nod.
“Don’t forget the time your future self melted when he came back,” Beth said.
Danny quickly projectile vomited onto the floor. “HURRCK… Thanks Tezuka,” he said to Beth, “it’d been a while since I beat myself senseless with the ol’ memory erasing device.”
“Dude, I’m pretty that’s just an iron skillet you smash against you skull,” Chris stated.
“Well… it works…” Danny replied as he wiped vomit from his mouth.
“So, what’s the note say?” Twilight asked.
Chris cleared his throat. “It says…”
Everyone but Chris’s eyes shot open wide as an aged, masculine voice began to read the note. “Dear Bravest Warriors, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and Spike. I am having a lovely time on the planet of Daisy. The yellow and white flowers provide a lovely contrast to the green fields and red, dimensional transportation gem that can send travelers to any dimension they would like to go to.”
“Wish you were here.”
“E. Lord.”
“Uh… please tell me I wasn’t the only one who heard that…” Twilight said.
“I heard it,” Spike said excitedly, “we can go home!”
Twilight gave an exasperated sigh and shook her head. “Never mind…”
“Hmmm… the planet of Daisy’s, huh?” Wallow said in an unsure tone.
“Huh? What’s up big guy?” Spike asked. “Sounds like an almost literal walk in the park to me.”
“It’s not that simple I’m afraid,” Beth explained. “The planet is ruled by the Duke of Daisy.”
Twilight and Spike exchanged a quick glance then looked back at Beth.
“Some sort of royal flower dude is a problem?” Spike asked.
Beth nodded, “Well, he looks like this.” She hit a few keys on a nearby keyboard and a several foot tall holographic projection of a pasty colored, tusked, bipedal creature appeared. The creator’s body was covered by thick rolls of fat and it wore only a button up shirt tied to expose the creature’s midriff and belly button as well as a pair of cut-off jeans that gripped tightly against its jiggling thighs.
Spike cocked an eyebrow at it. “He looks kinda… goofy.”
“Well, he’s actually a lot bigger,” Wallow said as he pointed at the display.
“How big?” Twilight asked.
Beth hit a Button and the holographic display grew up towards the ceiling, filling most the room with holographic rolls of fat.
Danny responded by shooting more of his partially digested breakfast onto the floor.
Spike and Twilight’s jaws unhinged as they stared up at the three story tall monster.
“Oh…” Twilight uttered.
Danny whipped his sleeve over his mouth. “Does he have to dress like that? Talk about inappropriate choice of clothing for a body type.”
“Danny,” Chris said in a chastising tone, “you know you’re not supposed to judge people on how they dress. I mean, how would you feel if everyone judged you when you wore skin tight leotards when you were a kid?”
“Everyone DID judge me for wearing those!” Danny pointed out.
“Uh…” Chris paused briefly as he glanced to the side. “Okay, but two wrongs don’t make a right!” he replied.
“Can I at least judge him for him being an intergalactic crazed genocidal maniac?” Danny asked as he motioned to the holograph.
Chris nodded. “Yes you may.”
“Uh… genawhatal?” Spike asked.
“The Duke of Daisy is an intergalactic war criminal,” Beth explained. “He’s led giant navies full of warships and conquered planet after planet.”
“Yeah,” Danny chimed in, “and he’s completely destroyed a couple just ‘cause… well… just ‘cause.”
“Our parents have fought him a few times, each time ending in a stalemate,” Beth explained.
“So what are you going to do?” Twilight continued.
“We’re going to fly right to his planet and challenge him to a duel to the death,” Danny said as he punched a fist into his palm. “Just like our parents.”
“Well… as suicidal as that sounds,” Chris began as he rubbed his gantlet covered hand over his chin, “he’s never said ‘no’ to a duel…”
“Uh… and your parents are...?” Twilight began.
“Trapped in another dimension for completely unrelated reasons,” Wallow informed.
“Oh…” Twilight replied in a slight sheepish, embarrassed tone.
Beth smiled. “It’s alright. They’ve made contact with us.”
“Yeah, and we even got Beth’s dad back,” Danny said, “of course he’s crazier than a hover hound at a bumper factory.”
“Dude!” Chris exclaimed motioning to Beth. “Uncool!”
“Oops, sorry Beth,” Danny offered.
Beth sighed and shook her head. “It’s alright Danny, I mean… its true…”
“Guys…” Twilight interrupted, “while I appreciate the offer to put yourselves in tremendous personal danger for us, I’m really not comfortable with the idea of people risking their lives on our behalf.”
“Ah, don’t worry about it Twilight,” Chris said as he waved his glove about dismissively, “we do this sorts of stuff all the time!”
“Really?” Twilight asked.
“Well… not quite this level of insane, but I made a promises and I’m not going to back down.”
The other warriors nodded in agreement.
“Just sit tight and we’ll be back with that gem before you know it!” Chris said.
Twilight nodded pensively. “Alright, Spike and hear will wait here for you…”
“What?” Spike said. “What are you talking about?! We should go with them!” He cried as he motioned out to the four humans.
“Spike! You heard them! This is incredibly dangerous,” Twilight pointed out.
“And that has stopped us… exactly when?” Spike asked.
“Danger on Equestria is one thing, but this… beast has apparently destroyed entire planets!” Twilight said.
“Come on, Twilight!” Spike said. “This might be our only chance to get home! And we’ll get to see even more fantastic stuff,” he reasoned. “I can’t believe you’d want to sit on the sidelines here.”
“Spike, I really think we’re out of our depth,” Twilight replied.
Spike cocked an eyebrow. “We routinely face down dangerous magical beings that are out to kill us and our friends, and we’ve saved entire nations and probably Equestria on more than one occasion,” he pointed out flatly. “How is this out of our depths?”
“Uh…” Twilight trailed off. “Alright, you have a point.”
Beth walked over to Twilight and kneeled down, placing a hand on the alicorn’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Twilight. We’ll support whatever you want to do.”
“Come on Twilight!” Spike said. “What’s a little suicidal danger against a chance to see our friends again?”
Twilight considered the baby dragon’s words carefully.
-ooooooo-
“WhoahohohohoYEAH!” Spike explained as he watched the planet below shrink into a tiny dot.
“Oh-my-GOODNESS!” Twilight said excitedly as she looked out the same view port.
“And you wanted to stay at the Invisible Hideout,” Spike said with a smirk.
Twilight chuckled, “I have to admit, this experience seems worth the risk.” She stared out into the vast expanse of space. “This is incredible… I can’t believe I was going to miss something like this.”
“Hang tight, dudes!” Chris called out from a seat in front of a massive view window at head of the ship. “It’s about to get real…”
Like Chris, the other Bravest Warriors sat in front of the massive windows as they manned keyboards and glanced at displays and flashing lights in front of them. They all had donned large, grey space suits with large, transparent domes over their heads and colored circles on their chest.
Twilight and Spike turned as Chris pressed a button in front of him.
“Whoaa….” Spike uttered as the stars around them turned into vertical lines and the ship lurched slightly from the acceleration.
“Your dimension has mastered faster than light travel?!” Twilight asked excitedly.
Beth smiled and nodded. “Sure has.”
Twilight shook her head. “I can’t believe how amazing this all is…” she sighed out quietly to herself.
“Oh, come on!” Spike shouted as he motioned out the window, “We’re in space traveling at speeds that are… uh… really fast, and you’re still depressed?!”
Twilight forced a small smile. “You’re right Spike. I’m sure everything will work out.”
“Awww,” Wallow said, “he even gives adorable pep talks.”
“Don’t worry guys,” Danny said, “we’ll just issue a challenge, fly down to the planet,” he said as he held his palm horizontally and rocked it back and forth, “and kick this guy’s butt, and you’ll be home in time for dinner!”
Twilight nodded. “Sure.”
“Eyes forward, gang,” Chris said. “We’re here.”
Chris pressed a button on the counsel in front of him and the white lines around the ships shrink back into stars that peppered the vast expanse of space in addition to gigantic, menacing looking space ships that surrounded a bright, yellowish planet.
As soon as the ship had slowed down, a portion of the window transformed into a screen displaying a grinning, pasty skinned, humanoid with pointed ears, and large tusks that jutted out from his lower jaw.
Twilight and Spike walked farther into the bridge as they stared at the screen in front of them.
“That’s him,” Wallow whispered to Spike and Twilight, “That’s the Duke of Daisy.”
“Bravest Warriors…” The Duke said, practically chortling with sadistic glee has he spoke. “To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure? Don’t tell me you’re all suicidal enough to challenge me to a dual.”
“Well as a matter of fact we are!” Chris said as he pointed an index finger at The Duke.
“Uh… bro?” Danny said as he raised an eyebrow at Chris.
Chris shook his head. “I mean, we’re not… I mean… we DO challenge you… but we’re not suicidal…”
Danny smacked a giant gauntlet against his domed helmet as Beth sighed.
“Smooth Buddy,” Wallow said, “really smooth.”
“Shut up!” Chris said, “How was I supposed to know he’d guess why we’re here?” he cried as he threw his space suit covered arms in the air
The Duke laughed. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Aaahhhh, your parents where always the same! Showing up onto my planet just to receive harsh butt-wuppin’s to get me to stop warring on some sector or another, or to stop me from vaporizing a planet. Nice to see the Flaragorian skinned fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“Dude, just say ‘Space Apples’,” Danny said as he rolled his eyes.
“Aaah, Mr. Vascuez,” The Duke said as he shifted his attention to Danny, “the small talk not doing it for ya? Well maybe”—The screen zoomed out showing The Duke in his full, red tied shirt wearing, short-short sporting glory—“THIS will entertain you!” The Duke turned around and began to gyrate his pelvis around and around, causing his thick rolls of fat to bounce up and down with the motion. He gave his own buns a hard slap as he said, “Yeah! Work it baby!”
Danny made a moist, sickly sound and puffed out his cheeks.
“Danny! Look away,” Wallow cried. “Don’t let him get to you with his jiggly mind games.”
“Twilight,” Spike said as one of his eyes twitched, “what the hay are we looking at?”
“Alright, first:” Twilight began, “language, young dragon. Second: I have no idea…” Twilight said as she stared at the screen.
“Enough talk!” Chris cried. “We’ve come for the dimensional travel gem,” he announced as he pointed an index finger at the Duke.
“Yeah, baby… watch that fat…” the Duke paused and slowly removed his hands from his hips. He turned his head around. “You want to fight to death over that?!”
Chris raised an eyebrow. “Is that a problem?
“No, Kirkman,” The Duke replied shaking his head as he turned his body to face the screen, “but the gem only works once and it’s one way…. Wouldn’t you all rather fight to the death over my gigantic space fleet? Or like… one of my black hole creators?”
“Black hole, creators you say?” Danny said raising an interested eyebrow.
“Danny!” Wallow cried.
Danny held up his gantlet covered palms, exposing the red circles on the front. “Naw man, we’re cool.”
“We’ve come for the dimensional travel gem, and we’ll gladly fight you to the death for it,” Beth cried.
“Alright, alright,” The Duke said holding up both his hands, “just… you know… you’re probably going to die. It might as well be over something cool.”
“It’s the gem we want, and the gem we’ll have!” Chris declared.
“Alright, captain hero pants,” The Duke said as he rolled his eyes. He suddenly clenched his massive fists and glowered at the screen. “THEN WE SHALL MEET ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE!”
Wallow lowered his eyelids. “Is the Field of Battle a pristine meadow full of daisies?” he asked dryly.
“Do you have to ask?” The Duke replied. “What better resting place for you all too…”
Beth rolled her eyes. “Here we go.”
“…PUSH UP DAISIES! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Spike cupped his claws around his mouth. “BOOOOOOO!” he shouted at the screen.
“Spike!” Twilight said in a chastising tone. “Stop booing the intergalactic warlord!”
“Heeeelllooooo~!” The Duke said as he focused attention on Twilight and Spike. “Who are these cuties?!”
“Back-off!” Wallow cried. “They’re not part of this.”
“Oh, but they’re totes adorbs! Hey! If I can fight you guys for these two we can fight until the maiming instead of the death!” The Duke said excitedly. “What do you say?!”
“No way!” Beth said. “They’re not involved!”
“We accept your terms!” Twilight declared.
Everybody on the ship turned to stare at Twilight.
The Duke let out a small, girly shriek. “AAAAEEEE! Awesome sauce! Oh this is just… wow! Okay, you all totes have a deal here! I bring the stupid gem and you four bring down those adorable little critters!” With that the screen blinked out.
Danny sighed, “Why’d you have to go and do that?”
“Danny’s right,” Beth said, “you didn’t have to put yourself in danger!”
“Yes I did!” Twilight said. “I can’t have any of you getting killed for us.”
“Oh man,” Wallow cried, “do you have any idea what that maniac will do to you if he gets his sweaty hands on you two?!”
“No, but I know what he was going to do to you four if you didn’t beat him!” Twilight said.
“Sorry guys,” Spike said, “I’m with Twilight. This is our mess and we need to at least share some of the danger.”
“But…” Wallow began to protest
“Forget it man,” Chris said as he rested a gantlet on the large man’s shoulder, “what’s done is done. He smiled. “Besides, we’re going to go down there and kick the Duke’s flabby butt!”
The rest of the warrior shouted enthusiastic cries in reply.
-ooooooo-
“Ready, team?” Chris asked as his large grey and blue boot touched the flower covered soil of the planet just off the ramp.
“Ready!” his team replied.
The group looked across the vast landscape of flowers, gentle sloping hills and the odd rock or boulder that dotted the ground.
The Duke of Daisy stood a few hundred yards away, his giant, three story tall body towering over the field of flora as the yellow sun behind him cast a long, massive shadow towards the Bravest Warrior’s whale shaped ship. In his right hand, he held a giant, plain looking, brown club. His attire remained the same from his chat earlier with the addition of a metal bracer on his left forearm.
The Bravest Warriors all began walking off the ships ramp and towards their opponent.
“Be careful, you guys!” Twilight called out from the ship’s ramp.
“Kick his butt!” Spike called out.
“We will!” Beth shouted back.
Spike looked up at Twilight. “Are we really just going to sit and watch?”
“What do you think we could actually do?” Twilight asked.
Spike shook his head. “I don’t know, but anything is better than just giving up…”
The Duke’s grin widened showing a massive mouth full of yellowed and crooked teeth bookended by his large tusks. “Weapons?” He purred.
Chris raised his gauntlet covered palms as blue energy crackled from the circles on the front. The rest of the team rubbed the colored circles on their chest. A red cat shaped carbine appeared in Beth’s hands; A long, yellow rifle with the head of a dog in front of it appeared in Danny’s hands; and a large, light blue rocket launcher with wings on the side, and an eagle’s face on front appeared in Wallows.
Danny cocked an eyebrow as he examined The Duke’s choice of weapon. “Seriously, dude? A club?”
The Duke chuckled. “Of course! I love clubbing!”
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“SPIKE! Stop heckling the three story tall maniac!”
“What!?” Spike cried as he motioned out to The Duke with claws. “He’s like… not even trying.”
Danny rolled his eyes. “Well, what are we waiting for?”
The Duke smiled. “You may fire when ready.”
“LIGHT HIM UP!” Chris cried.
The Bravest Warriors raised their weapons and leveled them at the Duke. As they did, The Duke raised his bracer covered forearm. Energy beams and projectiles shot from their weapons only to impact harmlessly on a transparent, shimmering wall in front of The Duke.
“Awww, man…” Wallow said. “A hyper shield…”
The Duke’s eyelids lowered as his grin turned malevolent. “My turn…” he said in a grumbly voice. He raised his club vertically and tensed a finger against a button on the handle. Suddenly, the front facing side of the club slid open revealing dozens of weapon barrels that pointed out at the Bravest Warriors.
Chris’s eyes went wide. “RUN FOR COVER!”
The weapons on the club erupted into a thunderstorm of energy blasts that shot out at the human combatants. The Warriors ran for small hills and larger boulders as energy beams cut into the flowery landscape in violent bursts that send singed pedals and clumps of dirt into the air. “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The Duke laughed maniacally as he continued to discharge hundreds of energy beams at his foes.
From the relative safety of the whale ship’s ramp, Twilight and Sparkle looked onward at the carnage in front of them.
“Still think we should help?” Twilight asked.
Spike’s fearful eyes looked out at the seemingly endless beams of destruction that rained out from The Duke’s club. “Ye…Yeah…” he answered.
“What?! You can’t be serious!” Twilight replied.
“Twilight, they’re risking their lives for us!” Spike said motioning out to the group. “Yes, it’s different and incredibly dangerous. But are you really going to be okay if they lose knowing you did nothing to help?!”
Twilight pursed her lips and looked out into the battlefield.
“COUNTER ATTACK!” Chris called.
From behind a hill, he and Beth leaned out from the edge and fired their own firearms at the Duke, Beth holding her laser kitty carbine in both hands and Chris facing his palms outwards as energy shot from the weapons.
The Duke positioned his bracer in between him and the blasts and the red and blue energy splashed harmlessly against his energy shield.
Wallow poked his head up from behind a rock, raised his eagle shaped rocket launcher, took aim, and fired. A rocket flew through the air and slammed into the Duke’s massive collection of back fat.
The Duke cried out in alarm that quickly gave way to a slightly pained coo. “AHHHHHoooooo….” He turned to Wallow with a smile. “That one had some pepper on it.”
“Uh-oh…” Wallow muttered.
The Duke held his bracer up in between Beth and Chris, allowing the two to continue pelting his shield with energy. “How about you try something with some real kick?” he asked as he pointed his large club at Wallow. He tensed his fingers again and the top of the club suddenly slid away, revealing a large, opening that crackled with yellow energy. The energy quickly coalesced into a massive ball of destruction.
“WALLOW, GET OUT OF THERE!” Beth cried.
‘PHEEEWHOOOOOOOOOO!’
Wallow ran and dove as a wide, energy beam flew from the club and vaporized the rock he was standing behind mere moments ago. The blast carved a deep, smoking trench in the ground as it fired off into the distance.
“Hey, fashion reject!” Danny called as he jumped into view. “Suck grenade!”
The Duke turned and raised his bracer as a metal, spherical object impacted his shimmering shield. Rather than explode, the ball held in place and crackled with energy that shot out along the shield. The Duke’s bracer began to spark and shake violently as small wafts of acrid smoke wafted up from it.
“Alright!” Spike cheered. “Go, Danny!”
The Duke chuckled. “Hehehe… Very clever, Mr. Vascuez,” he leaned down and picked up a large boulder, “but two can play catch.” The Duke through the gigantic rock at Danny with deadly accuracy.
Danny barely had time to utter an “Oh, man…” before the massive stone collided with him, denting his suit, shattering his domed helmet and sending the combat flying.
“DANNY!” Chris called.
“… Let’s go, Spike.” Twilight said.
Spike looked up at Twilight. “You mean it?”
Twilight nodded as she looked out at The Duke with determination writing across her face. “You’re right, out classed or not, we need to do something. I’ll never forgive myself if I just sit here the entire time.”
“That’s my girl!” Spike replied happily.
Chris, Beth, and Wallow raised their weapons.
The Duke tossed them a wicked smirk as he tensed his fingers on his club. Once again, a one of the metal sides slid away revealing dozens of energy weapon barrels that fired, peppering the landscape with deadly energy.
The three warriors dove for cover as another torrent of energy turned their immediate area into a nightmarish whirlwind of burning flowers and crackling ozone.
The Duke pointed his club at Danny’s fallen body. Once again the tip began to glow brightly with violent energy.
“HEY! TALL, FAT, AND UGLY!” Spike called.
“Huh?” The Duke turned just in time for a small rock to hit him right in the eye. “OW! What the heck bro?!”
“Sorry!” Spike shouted as Twilight approached with the baby dragon on her back. “I just wanted to get your attention!”
“I think you scratched my cornea!” The Duke cried as he rubbed at his eye and tried to pick the stone out with his yellow and cracked fingernail.
“I said I was sorry!” Spike replied.
“Uh, Hello, The Duke of Daisy…” Twilight said as she trotted up to the massive giant. “My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
“Uhg…” The Duke grunted out as he rubbed his eye. “… have you come to surrender and spare these weaklings from their brutal maiming?”
“Don’t do it, Twilight!” Beth called.
Twilight shook her head. “Not quite, I wanted to try my hand at saving myself.”
“Oh?” The Duke asked as he raised his brow. He erupted in a massive belly laugh. “HAHAHAHAHAHA… What do you think you can do here, little princess?”
Twilight smirked. “I bet I can get you to give up the gem.”
“HAHAHAHA! Oh my! You are a lot of fun! How do suppose you can do that?”
“I’ll limit myself to a single spell out of my collection, I’m sure it’ll be enough to defeat you,” Twilight said confidently.
“What the heck does she think she’s doing?!” Wallow cried.
Chris knitted his brow as he stared at the purple alicorn. “I guess she decided to take her fate into her own hands…”
“Hooves,” Beth corrected.
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DEFEAT ME?! ENTIRE BATTLE FLEETS HAVE FALLEN BEFORE MY MIGHT! GO AHEAD PRINCESS! DO YOUR WORST!”
Twilight closed her eyes as her horn began to glow purple. “Spike, go get Danny and bring him to the others.”
“Twilight, are you sure…”
Twilight opened her eyes, they too, had begun to glow with the same purple energy as her horn. “I’m sure…GO!”
“AH!” Spike cried as he leapt off the alicorn and ran in a dead sprint towards Danny. Soon, the little dragon reached the fallen human and gathered his ankles up in either arm.
“Wha…what?” Danny said as he groggily came to.
“WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!” Spike cried as he dashed towards the rest of the group, dragging Danny behind him.
Danny’s head bounded up and down over the ground and errant rocks hidden by the flowers. “OW! OWCH, DUDE! What’s the rush?!”
“Believe me,” Spike said, “you do not want to be in front of Twilight right now.”
Danny turned as the purple energy around Twilight’s horn collected into a single, bright point. “OW!” he cried as Spike dragged him over another rock.
“HAHAHAHA! You think a little magic energy beam is enough to take out The Duke of Dai…”
‘ZCHCHCHCOOORoOoOoOoOoORCH!’
A gigantic purple beam shot from Twilight’s horn, the ground shook violently and the flowers in front of her vaporized in an instant as the air exploded in a hurricane of violent, crackling magical energy that engulfed all three stories of the Duke and flew off into the sky.
The giant duke glanced down at his reddened and singed body.
“Betcha you can only do that…”
‘ZCHCHCHCOOORoOoOoOoOoORCH!’
“…Twice.”
‘ZCHCHCHCOOORoOoOoOoOoORCH!’
The muscular monster of a being glanced at its, now, even more burnt and charred body. “So… Uh…” The Duke dipped a burnt and sizzling hand into his cut-off shorts pockets and pulled out a large, glowing, red gem. “Here ya go…” he said holding out the gem.
A purple glow surrounded the gem and floated over to Twilight. “Thanks!” she said sweetly.
The Duke of Daisy nodded. “Imma… Imma gonna go home and scream in agonizing pain under an ice cold shower for the next few hours, I think…”
He turned to the other warriors. “Alright, I know when I’m beat.” He grinned wide, “Not that it matters, you four proved your worthlessness...”
Beth and Chris exchanged irritated glances.
Chris rubbed the light blue circle on his chest and a large, round green bee appeared. “BUMBLE BEE STORM TO THE EYES!”
Beth’s laser kitty carbine transformed into a whip with the face of a cat. “POISONED CAT CLAWS TO THE EYES!”
A green mass of bees swarmed The Duke’s eyes as Beth’s energy cat whip extended the distance towards The Duke’s face. He cried out in pain as his optical organs were assaulted by bee stings and a flurry of angry scratches. “OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!”
Danny chuckled as Spike brought him back to the rest of the group. “Oh man, we just got schooled by a magical, purple, alicorn Princess.”
“Hey,” Spike protested, “I threw the rock!”
Wallow leaned down rested a massive hand on the dragon’s shoulder. “Good job buddy, you exposed The Duke’s weakness…” Wallow paused and added, “… aside from point blank annihilation shot from a unicorn horn, that is.”
Spike beamed.
Twilight trotted up to the group as she floated the red gem next to her.
“You did it!” Beth cried as she rushed up and hugged the alicorn.
“I couldn’t have done it with all your help,” Twilight said as she wrapped an arm around Beth.
Chris placed his gauntlets to either side of his domed helmet. “HAHA! We did it! I can’t believe we took out The Duke!”
“Wow rude,” The Duke said as he stumbled around blindly. “I’m still here, you know…”
“Well done, Bravest Warriors,” an aged voice called out. “You showed that trashy clothes wearing warlord who really keeps a fully stocked spice rack!”
The group turned as an old man with white hair approached in a suit identical to Chris’s, with the exception that he had a pair of white socks pulled up over the boots.
“OH man! The Emotion Lord!” Danny said happily as he held up a fist.
The Emotion Lord gave Danny’s gauntlet covered fist a bump with his own. “What it is, Danny!”
“So you’re the one who gave Chris that note,” Twilight said with a smile. “Thanks! You made it so Spike and I can go home…”
“Aww shucks,” The Emotion Lord replied, “all I did was mail a little post card, all of you did the real work.” He looked at the Bravest Warriors. “I hope you all learned a valuable lesson about judging people… and ponies.”
The four humans nodded.
“Yeah, just because someone looks harmless doesn’t mean they’re not capable of great bravery,” Chris said.
“Or isn’t a walking magical nexus of destructive energy,” Danny added.
The Emotion Lord kneeled down and placed his gauntlet covered hand on Twilight. “Twilight, I hope you learned something as well…”
Twilight nodded and extended a wing, drawing Spike closer to her. “I did! Never lose faith in yourself, no matter how different or daunting the task in front of you seems.”
The Emotion Lord paused “…Well, I was thinking more along the lines of enjoying the time you have, but what the hey? I like yours better and mine sounds a bit hippo-critical given I can time travel.”
“So that’s it?” Spike asked as he glanced at Twilight. “We’re going home?”
Twilight looked up at the smiling faces of the Bravest Warriors and smiled wide, “Actually… I was thinking, ‘Soft Taco Party’.”
The group erupted in a chorus of cheers.
-ooooooo-
“Whouhuahuahhuahuaaa!” Impossibear cried as he held Spike in a tight embrace and tears streamed down his face. “I’ll miss you! You are a rad dude, Spike!”
“I’ll miss you, too, Impossibear,” Spike said as he returned the embrace. “Especially that bodacious stash of yours.”
Impossibear’s lips quivered as he pulled away to face Spike. “I can’t… I’M SO BAD AT GOODBYES!” He cried as he broke the hug and sprinted away.
Twilight shook her head and chuckled, she glanced at a small piece of paper in Spike’s claw. “What’s that for?”
Spike snickered. “You’ll see…”
“Spike!” Catbug called out as he fluttered to the purple dragon. “I heard you were going soon and wanted to give you an extra, special, friendship hug!”
Spike smiled. “Sure, Catbug!”
The light blue cat with the ladybug shell wrapped his stubby arms around Spike as the purple dragon mirrored the embrace.
Catbug snickered as he taped a note that read, ‘Kick me’ on the back of the baby dragon.
Spike sniggered to himself as he also taped a note that read the same on the back of Catbug.
“Bye-bye, friend!” Catbug called as he fluttered away.
Spike waved. “Yep, bye!”
Twilight giggled and removed the note from Spike’s back, crumpling it as she did.
“OW!” Catbug called out from the crowd of dancing creatures. “Who kicked me!?”
“So… I guess this is goodbye…” Beth said as she walked up to Twilight and Spike.
“Awww man,” Wallow uttered as he followed Beth. “Are you sure we can’t convince you guys to stay?”
Twilight shook her head. “Sorry, but we have friends that will miss us and our own world to take care of,” she said with a smile.
Beth nodded. “We understand.” She kneeled down and wrapped her arms around Twilight. “I’ll never forget you Twilight.”
Twilight wrapped her own arm and a wing over Beth. “I’ll never forget you either.”
Wallow leaned down and gathered up Spike in a big bear hug. “I’ll miss you bro!”
“Ooof….” Spike gave Wallow a small smile, “Yeah, I’ll miss you, too, big guy.”
“Oh man, is this a taco party, or some sort of lame hugging party?!” Danny asked as he walked up to the group with Chris.
“Danny!” Beth cried, “Don’t ruin the moment.”
“Chill, Tezuka,” Danny said with a smile. “I was just having a little bit of fun before these two take off.”
Wallow sat Spike down on the ground.
Danny extended his fist downward as he looked at the dragon. “Stay radical, little buddy!”
Spike grinned and bumped Danny’s fist with his claw. “Oh, you know I will! You just keep this place awesome!”
Danny chuckled. “You know it.”
“Twilight?” Chris said as he saluted the purple alicorn. “It was a pleasure and an honor fighting alongside you.”
Twilight hovered up on her wings and wrapped an arm around Chris’s shoulder giving him a small hug, “The pleasure was mine.”
Chris smiled and gave Twilight a quick hug.
“Now,” Twilight said as she lowered herself to ground, “can someone explain to me how this thing works?” she asked as she levitated the red gem into view.
The Bravest Warriors all shifted nervously.
“I KNOW!” Danny’s future self cried as he appeared from behind Wallow with a massive sombrero on his head. “You rub the gem and hold on tight while thinking about the time and place you want to go!”
Twilight’s eyes widened slightly as she stared at the gem. “The time and place…” she murmured. She smiled and wrapped an arm around Spike, pulling him close to her. “Hang on Spike, we’re going home!” She looked up at the warriors and smiled warmly. “Goodbye everyone! Thanks for everything!”
“See ya, bros!” Spike said as he waved enthusiastically.
“Goodbye!” Beth said.
“Audios amigos!” Danny said.
“Take it easy, dudes!” Wallow said.
“Farewell, guys!” Chris said.
Twilight brought the gem up and began rubbing it with her hoof. Spike extended a claw out to it and in a red flash, the pair where gone.
Wallow sighed. “I’m really going to miss those two.”
Danny nodded. “I hear ya. Where are we going to find another flying unicorn that shoots gigantic, warlord frying beams of magic?”
“Awwww… are they gone already?!” Impossibear cried as he ran up to the group. “I was gonna pass out gifts!” he declared as he held up another package with red wires sticking out of the wrapping and a digital counter on the front.
“IMPOSSIBEAR! NO!” Wallow cried.
Chris sighed and rolled his eyes. “Here we go again…”
“Ah, man…” Danny said as he smacked his palm against his forehead.
“I’ll go open a window…” Beth said dryly as she walked away from the group.
-ooooooo-
‘Chzzoo…’
In a red flash, Twilight and Spike appeared in the darkness of the library.
Spike looked around. “It worked!” he exclaimed. “We’re back!”
Twilight put a hoof up to her mouth. “Shhhhh… stay here,” she commanded softly.
“Huh… Twilight?”
Twilight quietly flapped up to the top of the library then back down again with a giant smile. “The gem worked perfectly…” she announced quietly.
“Huh… well, of course it worked. We’re back at the library!”
“We’re back three hours before we left,” Twilight informed.
“What?” Spike exclaimed. “That means…”
Twilight nodded. “Past you and I are still asleep.”
“But… ”
Twilight grinned. “I’m going to get that reading out of the way! Now… I think I’ll find Stonepower’s Encyclopedia of Spells right where it should be…” she mused.
Spike smacked a claw against his face. “You’re your own worst enemy, you know that? This is going to seriously mess up my sleep schedule… I’m going to go find an out of the way place to sleep and make a small bed out of books.”
Twilight nodded. “Oh! One more thing.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “What is it?”
Twilight extended her arms and hugged the dragon in a tight embrace. “Thanks for always being there for me… and believing in me even when I don’t believe in myself.”
Spike paused and wrapped his arms around his friend, “Anytime, Twilight… anytime… or place even.” He added with a grin.
The End
