Discord's TV Show

by Taco Pony

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Doctor Whooves, Main 6, Dinky Hooves, Random, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia
Length: 950

Discord has been causing serious trouble in the land of Equestria. Now he has made a T.V show, teaching ponies how to murder eachother. What could go wrong?

The television has just been invented. Discord found out. Now what will happen as he teaches ponies how to... Kill! Nothing could go wrong. Could it?

Published 2014-03-17 17:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-17 17:00:05 UTC

The Invention

One bright, sunny day in the magical land Equestria. All was peaceful, everyone was gathered round the town hall. The Mayor was with Doctor Whooves for a special announcement.
"Now everyone, I am aware you all are wondering why we have gathered you all here," exclaimed The Mayor.
"Me and The Doctor have a very special announcement for you all."
The Doctor interrupted and said, "you probably all think something terrible has happened seeing as I'm making the announcement."
"But I have something very exciting to show all."
The Mayor and The Doctor unveiled a strange cube-shaped object with buttons on it.
"This is a television," said The Mayor excitedly.
"OH MY GOD, what's it do, what's it do," shouted Pinkie Pie.
"Good question Pinkie, it let's you watch loads of entertainment without having to go out of the house," mentioned The Doctor.
"Can you show us how this peculiar-looking device works?" asked Twilight Sparkle.
The Doctor replied, "Sure."
The Doctor hits the big button and a screen comes on, everyone looks with disbelief. A TV show called, 'Fairly Odd Ponies' starts playing.
The Doctor says, "This isn't the only thing you can watch, look."
The Mayor pulls out a remote and starts flicking through channels seeing things like: Reality TV, Sports, Movies, and Even Music.
"These things will be up in the market for 40 bits tomorrow," says The Doctor,
"This concludes our announcement," shouts the Mayor in extreme excitement.
Everyone leaves the Town Hall. In the morning everyone is already up by six o'clock, waiting in line to get the first Televisions, no one could wait any longer. Some ponies weren't there, including Vinyl, Octavia, Pinkie and Twilight. They were all busy making programs for this new device. When everypony gets home with their new televisions, they have barely any bits left. They all start looking for something entertaining to watch. They find Vinyl Scratch and Octavia's music show, the Twilight learning channel and the 'How to cook guide' from the one and only Pinkie Pie.
With this new device, everypony will stay indoors so nothing can go wrong, can it?

The Trouble

Discord walks through the town of Ponyville on his daily stroll, he walks past the market, the town hall, and Sugar Cube Corner. He thinks to himself, "That's Odd, there's usually more people here." He looks all around the place and no pony's there. He decides to go to visit Fluttershy, when he arrives there, Fluttershy is watching a new program called, 'David Attenborough - The World's Animals'.
"Fluttershy, what in Celestia is this?"
She replies, "Oh, hey Discord, haven't you heard about the new television, it's a great new way to watch all the entertainment you want from the comfort of your own home."
"interesting..."
The next day discord is in his house working and working on something important. His front door has a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on it. Evil laughs were coming through Discord's window. Camera flashes were seen. He was making a TV show, it was obviously going to be something that people would enjoy... wouldn't it?

What Could Go Wrong?

You all know how people usually imitate TV shows.... unfortunately, it's the same in equestria. Rainbow Dash had just seen Discord's TV show when an idea popped into her head. She'd do exactly what he did. She walked up to Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Apple Jack, Rarity and Fluttershy.
She said "I just quickly got to go in for something."
She comes out five minutes later with five blindfolds and a chainsaw.
"Who want's to play blind man's buff, you three versus me." She yelled.
Fluttershy said, "Why not?"
Rainbow Dash gives the others the blindfolds,and waits for them to put them all on.
"FUCK EQUESTRIA," She yells as she cuts all of them in half with the chainsaw. Dinky and Derpy Hooves were walking past at the time and they screamed at the top of their voices, when they got back home Derpy grabbed a knife turned to Dinky who was watching the show and slit her throat.

Now kids, this is a lesson DON'T FUCK WITH LIFE JUST BE FUCKING NORMAL AND DON'T IMITATE THE SHIT ON TV!

Step-By-Step

About a week later, everyone started tuning in to Discord's TV show.
"Hello, and welcome to... DISCORD'S 'HAPPY' 'FUN' TIME"
Discord was standing In a room filled with pony teddies.
"In this episode we will be going through lots of tortu-games to play with ponies"
Discord grabs one of the teddies and gets his 'fun' 'toys' out. He puts the 'toy' to the ponies neck and rips it's head off.
"See this is what fucking happens when some silly little shit brick ponies try to mess up my plans.... I mean oops, lets try that again shall we."
He grabs a chainsaw from his cupboard and another 6 teddies. He then runs the chainsaw through all of them and cut's them in half.
"Those fucking little faggots: Twilight nerd Sparkle, Pinkie lesbian drug dealer Pie, Rainbow cocky bitch Dash, Apple not so strong Jack, Rarity the spoiled little brat, and the fucking pussy who's afraid of her own shadow FLUTTERSHY!... I didn't say that outloud did I?"
He then grabs 1 more teddy and a fork. He puts the pony on the bench and pulls it's eyes out.
"That stupid bitch with the fucked up eyes is going to die tonight, YEAH" Discord sings to himself.
That's all for today's episode, join us next week to find out more ways to murd-play with ponies, bye"

Author's Note

Discord get's a little bit too angry here. If easily offended skip this chapter