Where the Mare's At?!

by InsaneJustin

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Derpy Hooves, Alternate Universe, Human, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1150

Brony gets transported to Equestria. He's Sexualy fustrated and gets turned into a pony as well. Only greatness can happen from this.

A sexually frustrated brony gets transported to Equestria as a pony. Seeing this as his chance to finally get some sexual release he makes his way to Ponyville only to discover that he's the only pony in a sea of sexy human women.

Contains Strong language, so if curse words make you cry, do not read this. You have been warned.

Written and hardly edited by me. Completed in about 2 hours.
Picture taken from Derpibooru after setting tags to = bikini, Twilight Sparkle

Made for comedy purpose's as I felt like writing this after my nap.
Also, I used my name because of laziness.

Published 2014-03-15 21:30:11 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-15 21:30:11 UTC

First and Only chapter

Long introduction short. My names Justin and I’m a Brony. I’m also a chronic masturbator, you know the type. The kinda guy who has rub one out whenever he gets a boner. I blame my ex girlfriend who put out all the time for 5 years then breaks up with me, causing me to go cold turkey. I couldn’t handle that kinda shit man. I ended up jerking off twice in the morning, once in the afternoon, and 3-4 times before bed.

It wasn’t the same.

Anyway, through some fucked up stroke of luck I ended up in Equestria after dropping half an ounce of shrooms and going for a drive. I was alone, and decided to go for a drive. Because I was convinced I had to find Equestria. And what do ya know I found it after driving into a Ravine and bursting into flames.

Oddly fire doesn’t hurt when you are so far gone down the rabbit hole. The fire did make the coolest damn dance for me as I melted alive though.

Anyway I woke up god knows how much time later as a pony in the middle of a field. Looking at my flank I had the picture of a flaming shroom. Funny thing that. Anyway, as cliche as it sounds I start heading toward Ponyville because it is viewable in the distance.

I start thinking to myself about how to introduce myself to the town, then think Pinkie will just do it for me.

Oh man, who was I gonna buck first?

Probably Pinkie, she seemed like the easiest target. Then maybe Twilight or Applejack, it would depend on how they react to me though.

As I neared the town I realized how large the houses were...

Odd, I figured they would of been smaller, the homes seemed way to big for a pony my size. Did I arrive as a colt or something?

That’s when I saw her. The most beautiful human girl I ever saw... wait a minute, Human?

What the actual fuck? Wasn’t this place supposed to be filled with small technicolor ponies like me? I check myself over once more and yup.

Im a small technicolor male pony.

And in front of me is a sexy blonde girl wearing a mailman’s outfit... Oh my god its Derpy. Her ass and tits are freaking huge, practically popping out of her uniform... I gallop up to her and try too greet her. I should be able to speak with them right?

Right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(random horse noises)

Derpy the mail girl turns around to see a small technicolor horse.

“Oh how cute! Did you get lost little fella? Don’t worry little guy! I’ll just drop you off at Twilights, she can figure out what to do with you.” With that Derpy scooped up the small technicolor pony and made her way toward Twilights.

(Some more horse noises) ‘Fuck! They can’t understand me!’ Justin just hung limply from Derpy’s arms as she hummed a bright tune to herself. As she walked along, her jugs kept patting him on the side of the head. Not that he minded at all. It was quite nice actually.

Anyway, as they were traveling though the town Justin noticed how incredibly hot everyone was. And the serious lack of ponies that looked like him. After the short walk they both ended up at Twilight’s place of residence. He also had a massive pony boner rocking. The constant patting of her breasts on the side of his head with all the sexy chicks walking around was causing him to blue ball. Its like every female wore their cloths two sizes too small and had amazing body proportions.

As Derpy set him down, she either failed to see it or simply ignored it, much to his annoyance.

‘I hope to god some of these chicks are pony fuckers. Or my balls are gonna be permanently blue... How the heck do I even jack off with hooves?’ as he looked at his hooves the door opened and out walked the sexiest librarian to ever walk this side of Equestria.

Why was she in a string bikini slowly eating a popsicle!? What the actual fuck?!

“Oh hey Derpy! Whats this cute little guy doing here?” Said Twilight as she deep throated the popsicle

“I don’t know Twilight, he just sort of walked up to me and started neighing with a smile on he’s face. I figured you would know what to do with him. Also, this box is for you!” Derpy handed Twilight over a box, and she took it.

“Oh I bet this was the new thong I ordered! Well come on inside little Pony, I guess I’ll take you too Fluttershy’s after this.”

(Random horse noises) ‘Fucking FUCK! Why is she wearing that?! Why is she not a pony?! Why am I a pony?! Why can’t they understand me!?’ Justin walked into the Library after Twilight got back inside, and he just sat in the corner by the door.

“Oh my! Such cute little horse noises you make. Why I could just gobble you up you’re so cute!” as Twilight leaned in he could clearly see her breasts, nipple N' all. That's when she noticed his pony boner.

Her face turned into one of disgust.

“Oh eww! Bad pony!” she pulled out a spray bottle of water and began to spray him in the face like he was a cat. “Bad, bad dirty pony!”

For some reason being sprayed in the face with water was a major turn off and he quickly lost his boner. He shook his head around and tried to wipe the water off on the floor. When Twilight was done scolding him and spraying him the face with water, she turned around putting the bottle away.

“Now stay here you dirty little pony, I’m gonna go change into my new thong before I take you down to Fluttershy’s. She’ll know what to do with a dirty little pony like you.” Ignoreing the order to stay still he slowly followed her up to the room and watched her change.

‘Oh my dear god... WHY AM I A PONY!?’

Twilight could hear some random horses noises coming from outside her room and walked back out butt naked and looked down at the little pony who just smiled up at her.

“You’re just a little pervert pony aren’t you? Well, I’ll have Fluttershy ‘fix’ you up good, Maybe Applejack can put you to good use on the farm.” She had put extra emphasis on the word fix.

That's when I saw Spike the dragon, he had horns on. What the fuck? That's when he looked at me and smiled.

“Welcome to hell kid.”

(Random panicked horse noises)

Author's Note

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof!
*clap clap*