My Little Supernatural: Demons are Evil Sons of Bitches

by Captain Storm Dash

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 3132

Rainbow and Storm Dash's father has gone missing in a world full of supernatural demons and fiendish monsters. It's their goal to find him.

The following is a crossover between MLP and Supernatural. Supernatural is owned by Warner Brothers and its affiliates. The idea of demons and the like and the methods of killing them, however, are property of the superstitious Christians who were looking for a way to explain things they knew nothing about. My Little Pony is a trademark of Hasbro. I do not claim ownership of any of the three ideas, only the crossover of which I am writing, along with my original characters, Storm Dash and Blitz Dash.

Storm and Lightning Dash are two siblings who have had terrible luck since the day their mother died in a fire. Their father raised them in the art of hunting demons in order to exact their revenge upon the one that killed his wife. After several years of hunting monsters and demons, Rainbow Lightning Dash has had enough, and decides to settle down and try to start anew, and lead a new life. But when her colt friend Thunderlane is murdered by the same demon who killed her mother using the same methods, she decides, now having nothing left, to join her older brother in the search for their missing father, who disappeared five weeks before the incident. Now, they live on the road, faking identities, using magic to create false cutie-marks, stealing badges, conning others, and doing whatever it takes to find their father and do what they do best: hunt demons.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-22 21:46:27 UTC

Pilot

     "Hey, Blitz.. You and Storms having fun?" Firefly asked.

     She, her husband, and their two children, Storm and Lightning, were living in their two story home in Cloudsdale. It was about nine o'clock at night, and Firefly had just put Lightning to bed.

     "Heh, yeah," Blitz responded with a chuckle. "But little man here looks like he's gettin' tired." Stormy yawned and stretched a bit while he sat on the sofa next to his father, watching television.

     "I'm not sleepy!" He protested. "Maybe a little worn out..."

     "We'll, I'm gonna go check on your sister. Hopefully she's fallen asleep by now. You've got until the end of that episode before you have to go to bed too, m'kay?"

     The little colt groaned. "Yes, ma'am.."

     After the show had ended, and Storm was finally in bed and asleep, Blitz crawled into bed next to his wife. He looked behind him. "They won't hear," his wife assured him.

     "If you say so. I don't want them losing their innocence at such a young age."

     "You worry too much," Firefly teased.

     "Maybe so, " he said. "But you can never be too careful. "

     "Forget about it. Let's just do it... Let it happen.. You're always so stressed and worked up... Let me help you... Let me relieve you..."

     Firefly began kissing and nipping at Blitz's neck. He then put his hoof on her cheek. "Hold on," he said. "Let me get the scotch."

     He threw the covers off of him and got up.

     "Oh, I like your idea.." His wife called. She then decided to go and check on Lightning. She saw Blitz standing there, cradling the whimpering foal.

    He lifted his hoof to his lips. "Shh..."

    "Okay. I'll go get the booze.." She then trotted downstairs, where she saw he husband standing in the kitchen holding two empty glasses in his hooves and a bottle of scotch whiskey in his mouth.

     "Wht?" He said with a muffled voice.

     "Wait.." Firefly pondered. "If you're down here.. Then who's with Lightning?"

     Suddenly, her eyes widened. She then galloped upstairs. "Lightning!!!" She stormed into the room and saw that her daughter's crib was empty. "Where are you?!" She whipped around and saw a yellow-eyed... Thing... Holding her baby.

     "Let go of my daughter. Right now."

     "Sure," it said in a double voice. It grinned like a chessy cat, and set the infant back into the crib, Firefly still keeping her eyes on it.

     Blitz smelled burning. He couldn't put his hoof on it. But it smelled like wood and flesh. He saw smoke floating from under the stair case, and the smoke alarm started blaring. He galloped upstairs and froze when he looked up at the ceiling of his daughter's bedroom. There, was his wife, flames billowing from her back as blood dripped from her mouth and onto his face.

     "Oh shit!!" He flew over to his daughter and grabbed her, then dashed into his son's room and shook him awake. "Stormy, take your sister and get out of the house, NOW!"

     Stormy snapped up the moment he smelled smoke. He took his baby sister, who was wailing loudly by now, and flew out of the window and out onto the asphalt road, where several other neighbors wee gathering as fire trucks arrived. His father was following close behind. He began hugging his children.

      "Are you alright?" He asked worriedly.

     "I'm fine. I'm fine dad." Stormy looked up at his father. "Where's mom?"

      A tear strolled down his father's cheek as he slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry, Stormy. She's.." He choked on his words. "She's dead. I couldn't save her..."

     Stormy, despite how tough of a youth he was, began openly sobbing into his father's furry chest. His father stroked back his mane and whispered to him, "It's okay.. I know.. I know..."

     He then stood up. "But we've got work to do. I gave up my passion, and it was my worst mistake."

     "What are talking about, dad? What passion?"

     "There's something I didn't tell you, son. Before I married your mother... I was a Hunter."

     "Of what?"

     "The most evil sons of bitches you could ever think of. Ever."

Missing in Action

     At four o'clock, Rainbow Dash had just walked in the door of her college dorm and set her saddle bags on the sofa. As usual, since it was Thursday, Thunderlane was already at the dorm, preparing dinner, which was usually quite elaborate. Her sore and aching hooves paced into the kitchen, where she inhaled the mouth-watering aromas and sighed. "What's cookin'?" She asked.

     "I've got a four-serving three-cheese spinach lasagne in the oven, babes! I also stopped down by the liquor store and picked up a bottle of wine and some beer. I plan on losing it tonight, I am so exhausted. Remind me that I want ice cream before I crash," Thunderlane requested. "I don't wanna go to bed with pure alcohol topping off my stomach. A hangover an hour before class is the last thing I want!"

     "No probs," Rainbow responded. "I want a beer, too. Criminal Justice class was a nightmare..."

     "That bad, huh?"

     "You have no idea." She exclaimed. She then trotted back into the living room, picked up her bags and carried them to the closet, where she hung them up on the rack on the inside of the door.

     About two hours later, Thunderlane sat Rainbow Dash down at the table with her piece of lasagne and a glass of white wine. She lifted up the crystal goblet and brought it to her snout. She inhaled deeply through her nostrils and sighed. "Smells wonderful."

     "Chataeu de Fillydelphia, vintage 1993," Thunder said matter-of-factly.

     "Well, some-pony knows their wines," Rainbow Dash began. "But I said I wanted a beer."

     "I decided you drink too much beer and not enough wine, so I gave you wine," he retorted. "If you want a beer, drink that and then go get one."

     "Why do you gotta be such a dick?"

     "Don't start with me about my parts," he said pseudo-seriously. "Not unless you want me."

     Rainbow Dash blushed, them cocked an eyebrow. "How 'bout after dinner?"

     "Shut up and eat your dinner."

     Rainbow did as she was told, and bit down on the first forkful of her lasagne. She savoured it, attempting to recognise all of the flavours. Oregano, baby spinach, fettuccine, mozzarella... Her thoughts trailed off as she chewed and took another bite. She swallowed and asked, "You made this all from scratch?"

     Thunderlane nodded and kept eating.

     "Shit..."

     They finished their meal, and Thunder stood with his hoof reached out to help Rainbow up. "Wait!" she blurted. She picked up the bottle of wine and the two glasses and reasoned, "We'll need this."

     Four hours of feral, fiery lovemaking went by. Thunder and Rainbow laid on opposite sides of the bed, staring at the ceiling, gasping and panting from exhaustion.

     It was Rainbow who finally broke the silence. "I forgot how big you were," she said in astonishment.

     "I forgot how much energy you had," he responded like-mindedly.

     Rainbow's eyes had begun to get heavy, and when she looked over, she saw that her partner had already drifted off. Her energy-- or lack-thereof-- had finally caught up with her, and she dozed off.

     Rainbow Dash snapped up in the bed and she heard glass breaking. It sounded like it was coming from within the apartment. She doubted it could be a demon coming to seek vengeance upon her soul, given that the doors and windows were lined with salt, so as she got up from her bed, she grabbed her silver knife in-case it may be a stray monster looking for food.

     She lurched out into the living-room and saw that the kitchen light was on, one of the window panes in the back door was shattered, and the back door was ajar. "What the hell?" she said to herself. She heard the fridge pop open and cabinets close. She then raised her blade and slowly paced into the kitchen like a panther. She then charged into the kitchen and yelled, and was shocked at what she saw.

     "Storm?"

     Her older brother looked up from the fridge he was raiding. "Hey, Lighting," he said with a cocky grin.

     "What are you doing here? I thought you were a werewolf!"

     "A werewolf?" he said surprised. "Shit, I ain't that loud!"

     "What are you doing in my dorm?" Rainbow began to angry.

     Stormy got serious. He put returned the stolen melon he had grabbed from the fridge and straightened his face. "Dad's gone missing."

     "What do you mean?" She turned her head slightly and gave her brother a suspicious voice.

     "I can't get a hold of dad. He won't answer his phone, and he hasn't called me and told me where he's at or where he's going."

     "He's probably out on another hunt. Stop worrying so much, Storms." She rubbed her eye and scowled.

     "Lighting, this is serious. He hasn't answered for five weeks."

     Lightning looked up. "What?"

     Just then, Thunderlane walked into the kitchen. "Dashie?" he said, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "What are you doing? Who is this?"

     Rainbow sighed. "This..." she motioned to Stormy, "is my brother."

Hidden Pasts That Don't Exist

     Stormy sized up the strong-looking stallion standing before him. "Wait," he began. "Is he your..." he motioned to Thunderlane, then to his sister.

     "Colt-friend?" Lightning asked.

     "Yeah."

     "Yes, Stormy, Thunderlane is my colt-friend."

     Stormy cocked an eyebrow. "Wow. She so cannot handle you. Have y'all already?" He slammed his hooves together.

     Thunderlane and Lightning both tilted their heads to the side. Then it hit them. "Oh!" Thunder exclaimed.

     "Yes." Lightning finished.

     "Well," Stormy said. "He must certainly be a big guy." He looked at Thunderlane. "Dude, you are way out of her league. But you ain't outta mine, if you catch my drift," he said with a smirk.

     Thunderlane and Lightning both turned scarlet. "No!" Lightning said, putting her hoof in front of her colt. "Stop flirting! He's mine!"

      "Okay!" Stormy threw his hooves up. "Fine!"

     Lightning turned back to her sweetheart. "Sorry about that. He's a real chaser. He tends to make ponies melt down." Thunder blushed harder and looked down in shame.

     "It's okay... I don't mind.." He muttered meekly.

     "Look, Lightning, I need to talk to you. Could we go for a ride in my Shelby and talk things over?" Stormy asked.

     "Fine, Storms. Let's go," she said angrily. She turned back to Thunderlane just as she was exiting the door. "Hey, we'll be back, okay, babes? Don't go anywhere."

     "Don't worry, I'm gonna be in bed asleep. You two are fine." With that, Thunderlane shut the door behind his mare-friend and crashed onto his bed, falling into a deep slumber.

     Stormy and Lightning trotted out to her brother's world-famous lightning fast customised 2010 Shelby GT500 Super Snake. She gently brushed her hoof along the side as she strode to the passenger door. Her brother unlocked the coup, and they both simultaneously opened their doors and flew in. While Lightning buckled her seatbelt, Stormy ignited the engine and backed out of the driveway and into the bleak morning darkness.

"So, what's up with dad? Why don't you just accept that he wants to be alone on this?" Lightning began.

"Because," Stormy retorted. "I think he's going after the same demon that killed mom."

"And? What if this is what he needs to do? He's a grown stallion, Stormy, he'll be fine. He helped create you. Cut him some slack."

"He sure as hell didn't create me five hundred years ago. Not when I was stuck in the fourteenth century and had to live my life through. No, I'm time's creation now. I don't depend on him according to the time line. Hell, I'm older than him."

"Still, if it hadn't been for him, you wouldn't have existed." Lightning pointed out.

"Why do I even call you 'sister'?" he snapped. "Far as I'm concerned, you're not the same Lightning Dash I knew five hundred years ago. It's a different time-line. When you had heard that your brother, your Stormy, was killed in an alley, you were horrified. You thought he was dead.

"And you were right. I'm not the same Stormy. I was the one that killed him. He was a different Storm Dash, from a different time line. Me?" He paused to compose himself.

"I have no timeline. No future. No 'technical' relatives. No one. I'm just.. here. I'm not even supposed to be here. I have no past, no future. Only a present. I bet you that if you were to travel back in time, I wouldn't be there. Because the real me-- the mortal me-- died in an alley four years ago."

He heard his sister sniffle. She looked up at him, and they traded glances. "I'm.. I'm so sorry, Storms... I never knew."

Stormy clicked his tongue and shook his head as he turned back to the road. "Oh, Lightning, don't look at me like that."

He cleared his throat and blinked. "And you can thank your sister I'm like this."

"What!? I have a sister!?"

"My Lightning did. Y'all were identical twins. She was born first and always acted like the older sister. But then when she told me she knew when I was going to die, told me the time and place, I panicked. I prepared myself, gathered up all of my weapons and all the cash I could carry in this car and high-tailed it outta town. I did not wanna die. I still had a future.

"But then I was deployed again. I was stabbed out on the battle field." He turned to look her straight in the eye. "This was 1917, mind you. World War One, the allied forces of Equestria, Germaney, the Gryphon Territories, and the resistance in the Crystal Empire, all in a battle to overthrow the armies of darkness that which was commanded by the ruthless King Sombra the Terrible. I was stabbed in a mission to kill him. I succeeded in the assassination, but when I rescued his daughter, I was stabbed by one of Sombra's loyalists."

He turned back to the road. "So in a sense, I did die. I died out on the battlefield. But I came back. They claimed it was a miracle, since, as you know, healing magic just doesn't work on me. Doesn't agree with me."

"So," Lightning pondered fitfully. "You're dead?"

"Precisely."

"Shit."

"But remember-- I am not your brother. And your father isn't my father. I simply look like your brother, share the same name. But we share different memories and different fates. I care for you two because you would be my family. But you technically aren't. You can call me 'brother', but never, ever forget who I really am. Or who you really are. An identity is priceless these days, Lightning. You have to make sure you have yours in your control."

She nodded.

"Now," he spoke up. "Let's get you home. We'll talk more on this tomorrow."

He turned the vehicle around and pressed slightly harder on the gas. "Jeez, Stormy, slow down!"

He ignored her and only sped up. Then, he slammed on his brakes, causing Lightning to jerk forward. His jaw dropped. He could see it a mile away. Any pony could. With a pile of smoke that high, he wouldn't be surprised if they saw it real easy both upstairs and down.

He then changed footing and practically stood on the gas. The Shelby's engine roared loudly as he exited the free-way and got onto University Drive. He took a sharp left, attracting the drowsy attention of a half-asleep university police officer. He snapped awake and flipped on his lights. Stormy didn't stop. The law didn't apply to him any more. He saw that the subsection was still a good two miles off. They'd never get there in time. Not unless he broke a few more laws.

Ignoring the officer in the crappy Impala behind him, he pressed a bright red button labelled N2O. Immediately, the two felt the car surge forward, and the officer quickly faded from view. He swerved around another deadly corner and pushed on. More sirens

were heard behind him, but he knew they were different.

Fire department.

He muttered the two words, and Lightning caught what he said. "What?" Her face was drained of colour. "Step on that mother fucker!"

That was exactly what Stormy did, and the car soon raced to two-twenty-five. Storm grit his teeth and gently applied the brakes as they came in front of Lightning's now inflamed dorm. They both flew out of the car, Stormy being the faster and first to reach the door, he turned around and bucked it, sending splinters flying behind him. They both dashed in, but when Stormy felt blood dripping onto his head, and Lightning noticed it, they both knew they were too late. They slowly averted their gaze from the rest of the inferno and looked up at the ceiling, the source of the pyrrhic catastrophe.

Lightning's eyes grew wide in horror, and hot tears gushed from her eyes.

There, staring back as if in spite of her, with his mouth agape and a long wooden pole jutting out of his chest, pinning him to the ceiling, was Thunderlane, her now dead colt-friend.

"Lightning, we have to get out here!" She urged to resist leaving. She wanted to die here, in this hell-blaze, underneath her love. Stormy then up and heaved her over his back, with her pounding her hooves against him as he carried her away from the flaming hell-hole.

"No! No, no no!" she screamed out. It was too much for her to bear. "Let go of me! This is your fault, you stupid son of a bitch!" Storm Dash opened the passenger door and threw his sister into the seat while she kept kicking. He then went around and got in through his side and noticed Lightning huddled in the corner, bawling.

"There's no fixing it, ya know. He's gone. There's nothing I could do."

"Is that what you say to every mare you meet?"

"Shut up," Storm snapped back. "No one asked you."