Low Rumbles

by Anthony Rineer

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Rumble, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1105

Rumble is a typical colt. You know the screaming, cussing, killing-their-mother, masturbating, and game playing kind.

Rumble is just a normal, typical colt. You know, the screaming, cussing, killing-their-mother, masturbating, and game playing kind. What could possibly go wrong?

Published 2014-03-16 05:00:08 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-16 05:00:08 UTC

Low Rumbles

"I swear to Celestia, I`ll fuck your mom!" Rumble screamed through his microphone. Rumble was playing his favorite video game, Mare of duty: Modern Marefare 56. Rumble sucked cock at the game though.

"You`re just screaming cuz you suck dicks at the game, you little faggot." A player replied through the speaker. Rumble gritted his teeth and mashed the buttons.

The door opened and Rumbles mother came in, carrying in chocolate milk. Rumble looked up and gave a small smile, reaching for the drink. He grabbed and gulped it down, spitting out seconds later. "Mom, what the fuck?! I want an energy drink, Chocolate milk is for pussies!" Rumbles mom frowned and walked out, grumbling under breath.

Rumble turned back to the game. The match ended and Rumble screamed in frustration, throwing his controller at the wall; which resulted in the controller breaking in half. He reached into a box and pulled a new one out. After syncing the controller, he turned the mic on and shouted. " Waz up fuckers, you all like donkey dick!"

Everyone in the lobby started screaming through the microphone. Rumble smiled in glee and pressed the pause button, placing the controller down. He opened the door and screamed down the stairs, "Dont come in my room, Im masturbating!" Rumble giggled and slammed the door shut, locking it.

"Im so fresh, you can suck my nuts!" Rumble sang into the headset, after teabagging someones dead body. Rumble reached down to his penis, and stroked it. "Oh yeah, you bitches! Hey you little squeaker, stop killing me!" Rumble cried through his headset. He threw his headset down and cried.

Rumble grabbed his alarm clock and threw it at the TV, the screen shattering; shards spreading onto the ground. Rumble grabbed his game console and heaved it out the window, resulting in it smashing into the ground. Rumble hissed through his teeth, grabbing one of the glass shards. He placed at the underside of his hoof and slit it, blood gushing out.

After cutting his hoof, he dug under his bed and pulled out a magazine. Not just any magazine though: Wingboner magazine. He smiled a huge grin and opened it up, pulling on his penis. He looked at a certain purple unicorn sucking a zebra dick. He moaned and orgasmed, semen dripping over his hoof and his floor.

He closed the magazine and slipped it under his bed. Rumble wiped his hoof and flew to his door. He unlocked it and went to the stairs. He looked down and put a hoof on the top stair. He tripped and fell down the stairs, cussing along the way. Rumble`s mother rushed in and looked worried. "Honey, are you okay?"

"Fuck you mom! Im not okay, those stairs suck zebra dick!" Rumble screamed in his mothers face, sweat dripping from his forehead. He spit in her face and bitch slapped her. "You are my bitch, understand?" Rumble said calmly. Rumble`s mother nodded and went upstairs.

Rumble chuckled and went to the fridge. He opened it and saw nothing. Rumble screamed and grabbed a knife, galloping up the stairs. He reached his mothers door and kicked open, growling in the process. "You. Forget. My. Lube. Sandwich!" Rumble charged forward and stabbed his mother 36 times in the head. Rumble then grabbed his moms mouth and made out with her dead body.

Rumble walked out, locking the door on the way out. He dropped the knife in the trashcan and went to the garage. He scanned around and spotted it: Fuel canister. He grabbed it by the mouth and leaked all over the ground. After spreading throughout the house, he grabbed a match from his mother`s corpse and attempted to light a match.

Finally, after 69 attempts, the match lighted and Rumble dropped on the ground. He raced to the front door, giggling on the way. He reached the door and slammed it closed behind him. He galloped to Sugarcube Corner and sat at a table. He looked around and let out a exhale, letting the cool air calm him down.

"Hey, Dick." The familiar orange Pegasus said to Rumble. He sighed and jumped down, walking into the kitchen. He looked around and found it. He exited the kitchen and walked up to Scootaloo. He plunged it into her chest and she gagged, and went limp. He searched her dead body and found Whiterun guard shield, 3 steel arrows, and an imperial bow. He threw those to the side and finally found some gold.

He walked up the counter and asked. "Hey, is the pink cunt in?" The Pink party pony hopped in and took over the counter. "Oh hey, Rumble, you want the usual?" Rumble nodded and she jumped into the kitchen. Throughout the span of an hour, He heard screaming, saw blades, hammering, and cooking.

Pinkie Pie came back in with a tray of cupcakes that had little pieces of flesh sticking out. "Here ya go, I had to use the 'Special Ingredient'." Rumble smiled and dropped the gold coins on the counter, and grabbed the cupcakes. He walked out and saw a homeless pony.

He walked up and shouted. "Fus. Ro. Dah!" The pony flew across the sky and landed in a window. Rumble smiled and continued on his way. He saw Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle kissing. He grinned and ran over. They stopped and blushed. "Hey Rumble... How are ya doing?"

"Oh nothing, I just played some games, messed up my room, jerked off, killed my mother, burnt my house down, killed Scootaloo, and Fus Ro Dahed a pony, so I`m good." Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle ran off, screaming along the way. "Lesbians." Rumble kept walking and spotted Rainbow Dash.

He walked up and she stopped, and smile. "Hey what`s up little Rumble?" She russled his mane and he frowned and slapped her square in the muzzle. She looked down in astonishment and slapped him back. He slapped back. She slapped back. They slapped each other for three hours straight before Rumble shouted. "Enough!"

He pulled out a Daedric sword and chopped off her head. He laughed hysterically and licked her rainbow mane. "Mmm... Taste the rainbow muthafucka!" He ripped her mane off and chewed on it. He stared at the sky, counting the stars. Today was pretty good day.

It was like usual.

Author's Note

My sanity is gone from writing this. Also, throughout the whole time I was laughing my ass off. Contains some mature stuff. (No sex, their fillies for crying out loud!) Oh yeah, some minor references here and there.