The Shipping Games

by Skystriker

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Sex, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 33631

Princess Celestia and Luna have grown bored, and have decided play a new game.

The pristine land of Equestria has grown a bit too peaceful and boring for the immortal sisters to handle so they decide to play a different kind of game. What started out as just a prank will quickly change into an obsession that nopony is safe from becoming a pawn in. The Shipping Games!

Co-Writer: True_Vision

Published 2012-03-27 10:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-26 05:42:13 UTC

A Dash of Apple

In the hallowed, majestic halls of the royal castle in Canterlot the Royal Sisters sat, looking out the crystal clear windows and peering past the magnificent marble pillars upon the beautiful land of Equestria. The emerald hills and valleys stretched as far as the eyes of even the Alicorns could see, past the crystal waters and the little towns and large metropolitan cities scattered throughout the land. The scene was ideal, and the shared sigh of the sisters betrayed how boring it was. Although everypony seemed happy, to the seemingly Omnipotent goddesses this near pristine existence was rather dull. Usually once a week or so there would be something interesting to observe, but for over a month now there hadn’t been so much as a Pony versus Machine contest to spice things up, and even Twilight Sparkle’s letters had grown rather dull and mundane.

“Dear Sister... was it this boring the entire time I was in exile?” Luna asked restlessly, as she paced back and forth along the balcony overlooking Canterlot.
“Well no... Usually something entertaining happens once in awhile, like two of the guards thinking I haven’t noticed their sneaking away to do naughty things.” She said with a giggle.
“Tia, thou dost watch our guards fornicating with one another?” Luna asked, shocked at how casually her sister would say such a thing.
“Things have changed a lot since you left Luna.” Celestia responded with a gentle smile.
“So ‘colt-cuddling’ and ‘filly-fooling’ is now acceptable in the Kingdom among our subjects?” Luna asked, her curiosity peaked.
“Of course, Dear Sister. There is no longer any stigma involved with either practice. Ponies do not belittle one another based upon who their heart chooses.” Celestia responded matter of factly.
“Oh... well good then.” Luna replied, a bit surprised that such a thing had become so commonplace given the stigma of it a millenia ago.
“Hmm... Luna, I think I just thought of something that could prove very entertaining.” Celestia said, as the gears turned in her head.
“What is it Tia?” Luna asked, her interest peaking at anything to break the monotony.
“How about we play a little prank.” Celestia replied, a mischievous smile on her face.

Luna looked at her sister with confusion as she got all she would need for her devious plan. Celestia pulled out two scrolls and a quill from her desk, and began to write two letters. She tapped the quill against her chin for a moment, then her eyes lit up and she began to diligently scrawl upon them, the mischievous smile growing wider and wider with every stroke of the quill.

“Prank letters sister? Aren’t we a bit old for ‘dost thou have a Prince Perrywinkle in thy can?’ Luna asked, surprised at how foalish what her sister doing was.
“Things have come a long way since we did this last time, I’ve found a much funnier joke to play on certain ponies.” Celestia said as she zapped the letters with a spell, that Luna did not recognize, before sealing the two up, and quickly writing out a third before tying the three together with a nice little bow.
“Sister.... pray tell, what hast thou sealed in those letters, and to whom are they addressed?” Luna asked, beginning to be troubled slightly by her sisters joy at such trickery.
“You’ll see.” She replied, and sent the letters on their way.

A few moments later, in the quaint and mostly quiet little town of Ponyville, a little green and purple dragon was peering across the square at the beautiful white unicorn mare, upon which he had a terrible crush. He felt the butterflies in his stomach whirring around as he watched Rarity gracefully trot from stall to stall, with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy in tow. They were talking about something, though what it was he could not hear. Just then the butterflies in his stomach transformed into what felt like a swarm of angry hornets. He gripped his stomach, and nearly fell to his knees before letting out a loud belch, and in a burst of magical fire the three scrolls appeared at once in front of him, floating just within reach of the baby dragon.

“Ugh... I really wish the Princess would just send these one at a time... when she sends them in a bundle like this it gives me indigestion.” He grumbled as he opened up the first scroll which was addressed to him personally.
“Blah blah blah... fetch quest... deliver these letters to Applejack and Rainbow Dash,” Spike said to himself as he skimmed the letter. Then his eyes lit up and he read aloud "...and if you don't reveal who sent the letters you shall receive a full gallon of Sapphire Ruby Swirl ice cream made by Soft Serve!"

Spikes mouth began to water at the prospect. Sapphire Ruby Swirl was his all time favorite flavor of ice cream, and Soft Serve was the greatest ice cream maker in all of Equestria. He knew a gallon of her finest would be an experience of a lifetime, even for a creature with as long a lifespan as his. He licked his lips, put the two scrolls under his arm, and started off towards Sweet Apple Acres. He was completely lost in his carefree ice cream fantasy as he walked down the road, and didn't spy Rainbow Dash until she jumped on a small storm cloud right above his head, creating little lightning bolt and a loud clap of thunder. The tiny dragon yelped and tripped, falling flat on his snout as Rainbow Dash giggled overhead.

"Ha ha... good one Rainbow Dash, that one never gets old..." Spike said sarcastically as he stared up at the rainbow maned pegasus.
"Lighten up Spike, it was just a joke." Rainbow said through a little giggle as she hopped down off the cloud.
"Yeah yeah I know, although it was pretty lucky you found me, I have a letter for you." Spike said, as he handed over the rolled up scroll.
"Oooh is it my acceptance letter to join the Wonderbolts? Or a letter from Spitfire or Soarin?" She excitedly asked with a little squee of joy.
"I don't know who it's from, just that it's for you." Spike said a little shakily, not quite comfortable with lying to her like this.
"Well it better not be Jury Duty again, If I ever have to spend a whole day waiting around for nothing like that again, I think I'd explode." Dash replied as she took the letter from Spike.
"Well I got another letter to deliver, so I’ll talk to you later, Rainbow Dash." Spike said as he continued on down the road, cresting the hill just in time to miss Dash's wings flare out high, and her cheeks change to a rosy shade of red.

The sweet fragrance of apples of all kinds filled the air as Spike strode through the gate to Sweet Apple Acres. The apples were not quite ripe yet, so it was a slow time on the farm, which left Applejack with free time to practice her trick rope skills. Spike found her behind the barn, twirling her lasso and jumping through the hoop as she maneuvered it back and forth.

"Hey Applejack!" Spike yelled to her and waved as he approached the the pretty orange coated cowpony.
"Well hey thar' Spike!" Applejack said as she twirled the lasso up over her head before tossing it at the baby dragon, and pulling him over with a swift yank of the rope.
"What brings you to mah’ farm? Runnin’ errands fer Twilight again?" She asked as she untied him.
"Running errands yes, for Twilight no. I have a letter for you." Spike replied as he produced the second scroll.
"From the Princess? Must be important." Applejack said as she grasped the letter in her fetlock.
"Oh no no not from the Princess." Spike stammered, his voice a little panicked and hoping this lucky guess wouldn't cost him his treat.
"Well then why do you have mah’ mail... you ain't exactly the Mailmare or the Parcel Stallion?" Applejack asked apprehensively, Spikes behavior arousing her suspicions.
"Oh you know, that odd-eyed mailmare is always getting addresses mixed up, or it could have been that old Post Buck with the thick glasses. One time he even delivered a letter that we mailed out back to us because it had our address on part of it." Spike said quickly and nervously, hoping the story would be enough to convince her.
"Yeah, ah suppose that buck is alway mixin’ up everypony's mail. Thank yah kindly, Spike,” Applejack said with a smile, and Spike headed back off toward the library.

After Spike had gone, Applejack opened up the letter and began to read. Her cheeks quickly grew flush as she read more and more, the letter getting juicier with each passing sentence. It read as follows:

Dear Applejack,

I don't quite know how to say this, I’ve been trying to give you hints for a long time, but I just don't think you get what I've been doing. Applejack I think you're awesome... well I bet you already knew that, but I mean really really awesome. Like the most AWESOME mare I've ever known. You're the only mare that could ever really make me push myself to my limits, and... you're the most beautiful mare I've ever met, and I can't take it anymore. I need you Applejack, I wanna feel your strong, beautiful body pressed against mine, I wanna rub your cutie mark, and have you hold me tight. I couldn't get the nerve to tell you face to face, so I left this letter at the Library knowing Twilight would get it to you. If you feel the same way meet me under the tall oak tree on the edge of the Everfree Forest, at sundown. I hope I see you there, but if not at least I'll know, and even if you don't I promise I will always be your friend.

- Rainbow Dash

Applejack fell back onto her haunches positively stunned, she had always had suspicions, but she never thought Dash would actually go through with it. She knew she had to go, regardless of her feelings. Dash had poured her heart out into the letter, and would be devastated if she didn't even bother to show up. Applejack cleaned herself off, grabbed a jug of her family's adult cider, because she knew it was Rainbow's favorite, and started off towards the tree the letter described, hoping she could let Dashie down easy. Meanwhile on a low hanging cloud Dash was reading her letter over and over again, not believing what she was reading.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I’m not one for using a lot of fancy words or beating around the bush, so I'm just gonna come out and say it. I'm sweet on you in a way I ain’t never been sweet on a stallion in my whole life. You're prettier than my orchard in full bloom and one of the few around these parts, mare or stallion, that can keep up with me. I've been feeling this way about as long as I've known you, and I get the feeling that these last few months you've been hinting at it too, and I've just been too thick to get it. If I'm right, and you feel the same, meet me under the old oak tree on the edge of the Everfree at sundown. If you don't show I'll understand, and I'll consider you one of my best friends no matter what, but If you do I promise you a jug of my family’s special cider and a night you'll never forget.

Your’s Truly, Applejack

Rainbow's mouth hung open, and her eyes darted back and forth as her mind raced at a speed her wings couldn’t hope to match. The signs had all been there, how had she missed them. Did she feel the same way? She couldn't really recall a stallion she ever really care for like that, except for maybe any of the Wonderbolts, but she also knew, given the opportunity, she could see herself feeling that way about Spitfire or anypony wearing that uniform, for that matter. Romance was just something she had never given much thought to, let alone with somepony as close to her as Applejack. She sighed and looked toward the west, the sun was starting to hang very low. If she was going it was now or never. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before taking to the skies. She was open minded enough to at least hear Applejack out.

Meanwhile under the old oak tree Applejack nervously waited, trying to think of how to do this delicately.

“Ah dunno if ah can do this, ah've never seen Dash praise anypony like that who wasn't wearin’ a Wonderbolts uniform.” She thought to herself, little beads of sweat running down the back of her neck.
“Maybe some ah Granny's liquid courage will help.” She thought, and downed a mouthful of the Apple Family's private reserve, which was nearly as strong as whiskey, but far tastier.

As she sat there, she felt herself grow pleasantly warm as she laid in the grass under the tree, and she began to ponder if she should maybe at least give her a chance. She shook her head at the thought. She couldn’t do that... Dash was her best friend, and a mare to boot. Then again, who better to like that way than somepony who is your best friend, and on top of that none of the stallions in town seemed to be able to give her what she needed. As she laid there, deep in contemplative thought, Rainbow Dash swooped down, landing right in front of her, and startling her a bit in the process. Applejack fell on her side, sending her hat flying off her head and leaving her a bit exposed. Rainbow Dash's wings flared out wide, and a blush shot across her muzzle as she caught a brief look at her friend. The two mares chewed their lower lips in anxious anticipation, each thinking the other had called this little meeting, and waiting for them to speak.

"W...would yah like some cider, Dash?" Applejack asked, as she rolled back to her hooves.
"Oh yeah, that would be great." Dash nervously replied, and took a few steps back before taking a swig of the cider.
"RD, we need tah’ have a talk." AJ comfortingly said as she walked towards Dash.
"Yeah we do." She replied, a bit more bubbly and happy already, her fast pegasus metabolism having sent that drink right to her head.
"Now ah'm not sa-," Applejack started, but Rainbow Dash interrupted.
"I totally get it, and I'm cool with it. I mean now that I think about it, it was pretty obvious." Rainbow said confidently, smiling as she looked over Applejack in a whole new way.
"I don't think yah do sugarcube, what ah'm try-" She started again, but was again interrupted.
"What's not to get? You spelled everything out pretty clearly." Rainbow quickly said, and began to step towards Applejack.
"Tarnation filly will you just lis-!" Applejack shouted, but before she could finish she tripped over a root that was sticking up out of the ground.

Rainbow's eyes went wide as she saw Applejack falling face first towards the ground. Quicker than the blink of an eye she shot into action grabbing AJ, but because her balance and coordination was a bit off the two still clumsily fell, Dash on bottom of the pile with Applejack on top of her. In the shock of the moment both had let panicked little gasps escape their muzzles, and when they landed they had locked into an accidental kiss. Both of their eyes were wide as dinner plates, their hearts were racing, and their bodies mildly shook against one another. They pulled apart after a few brief seconds, both of thieir muzzles bright red and as they stepped off each other they took a short pause to think of what to do next, while bashfully looking away from each other.

Applejack was now even more unsure than ever, she knew what had happened had been an accident, but she also couldn't say she minded the feeling of RD's breast pressed against her's like that. She sure as shoot didn't feel like being rude about it, in fact the slight stirring in her nethers made her want more, quickly justifying in her mind that it was just to be sure of some things. Meanwhile Dash's much more open minded, and slightly more tipsy thoughts were more along the lines of "She really does taste like apples!"

The two turned back to each other, and without a word they closed their eyes and leaned back in. They wrapped their hooves around each other and held each other tight as their lips gently pressed together and their tongues curiously explored each other's mouths. The two mare’s tongues wrestled each other between their muzzles and their bodies shivered against each other as their legs locked together and their tails intertwined. Rainbow Dash's muzzle tasted like she had popped a whole hoof full of fruit chews into her mouth, and Applejack could not deny that she loved the taste. As their hooves began to roam over each other's bodies they began to feel a rising warmth growing inside them, and it wasn't from the cider. Dash began to slowly kiss and lick her way down Applejack’s neck and chest, making the orange coated mare coo and quietly moan with desire. Applejack’s heart was thumping wildly in her chest, but nowhere near as fast as Rainbow Dash’s. With every kiss and lick she could smell AJ’s sweet spicy apple flavored scent, tantalizing her like it were a fresh squeezed mug of cider, mixed with a fresh apple pie, and a little something special that made her heart skip a beat, the way only Spitfire giving her a second look at the Gala ever had.

“D-Dash... ah’re ya sure about this?” Applejack asked, as she blushed so hard she looked like a ripe Red Delicious.
“I wasn’t at first, but now I couldn’t imagine being with anypony else.” She replied, blushing even harder than Applejack was.
“M-me neither...Ah don’t know how ah coulda missed it, it’s all just clickin’ now, yer mah best frie --,” she started saying then let out a loud moan as she felt a rush of pleasure shoot up her body, frizzing her tail out and making her eyes roll back slightly in her head.
“You talk too much.” Dash said with a smile as she licked her lips. “Mm... it’s like lapping cider right from the tap,” she said, starting to get comfortable...

Two hours later the two mares were still lying under the old oak tree, their coats dusty, their manes and tails were matted, tangled messes, and they were drenched in sweat and they were completely exhausted. Applejack was lying on her back with Rainbow Dash cradled in her hooves, one of her front legs laying atop Dash’s rainbow colored mane, gently stroking it. They had gone all out for one another, their old competitive spirit was still alive and well despite their newfound feelings for each other, and for once Rainbow Dash happily gave the victory to AJ.

“I’ll beat you next time.” She dreamily said as she nuzzled into Applejack’s chest.
“Ahm sure yah will... took you a lil bit longer tah find my sweet spot is all.” Applejack said as she gently stroked her hoof through Dash’s mane.
“Ah love you, Rainbow Dash.” Applejack said with a genuine smile as she stared down into her light magenta eyes.
“I love you too, Applejack.” Rainbow Dash warmly replied as she gazed up into Applejack’s beautiful emerald eyes.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today we learned that it doesn’t matter what kind of pony you are, or if you’re a stallion or mare, when you’re meant to be with somepony you’re meant to be with somepony. There is no right or wrong way to love, and you shouldn’t question or deny what’s in your heart.

Your Faithful subjects,
Rainbow Dash
Applejack

P.S.

Next time you wanna fool somepony you might wanna try using stationary that doesn’t say “From the Desk of Princess Celestia”.

Celestia’s eyes went wide and her wings flared out wide as she read the letter, and a trace of crimson even shoot across her muzzle at the thought of the two mares together like that. She then lifted her quill and tapped it to her chin pensively.

“That was pretty easy, and it definitely is going spice things up a little. I wonder who else just needs a little nudge in the right direction.” She said to herself as she rubbed her hooves together her mouth nearly watering at the possibilities.
“Sister... thou hast that look again...” Luna said, a worried look in her eyes as another letter materialized.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Do you have any idea where Spike got a gallon of ice cream from? I found him passed out on the floor next to an empty container of it marked with the royal seal on it, and am curious as to who sent it.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle

“Oh Spike won’t you ever learn?” She thought to herself as she rolled her eyes and smiled.

Spa Sisters

On the highest balcony in the tallest keep of the royal palace in Canterlot Celestia relaxed, a small wooden box laid in front of her full of pictures of different ponies. Each pony was a resident of the little town of Ponyville, Earth Ponies, Unicorns, and Pegasi a plenty, nopony was safe from Celestia’s new hobby.

“Big Macintosh and Cherilee? No, it’s been done.” She thought to herself as she put the two pictures next to each other before setting them back down.
“Thunderlane and Blossomforth? Hmmm, too easy, seems like they are going to get together already.” She said to herself, discarding two more pictures.
“Perhaps I should try two more of Twilight’s friends, it worked out splendidly the first time.” She thought to herself as she floated up pictures of Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle.
“I shall save you for later my faithful student, I have plans for you.” She said to herself with a smile as she tucked Twilight’s picture back into the fold.
“That leaves just the three of you.” She thought, her eyes darting past the images as she thought back to Twilight’s reports upon her friends.

She remembered that Twilight had sent a report that she had gone with Rarity and Fluttershy to the Ponyville Spa for their weekly spa day, and there she saw her opportunity. She set down Pinkie’s photo, saving that wild card for later, and looked at the two photos a bit closer, as she began to put together a plan in her head. Just then, her concentration was broken by the sound of her sister triumphantly pushing open the door and trotting in, her wings were flared, her star filled mane was flowing long and elegantly, and her horn giving off a faint glow as she trotted towards her sister.

“Tia I have succeeded in.... oh what didst thou call it, relationing, was that it?” Luna asked, seeming unsure of her word choice.
“Do you mean shipping dear sister?” Celestia replied, setting the two pictures down on top of the now closed box.
“Ah yes, that is the term! Sister, I have shipped our guards with one another!” She announced triumphantly.
“Really Luna? How did you manage that?” She asked, not exactly surprised, especially given how she occasionally peeked in on the guards while they were in rutt.
“I requested that they mate for me, and being proper, loyal, and obedient guards they performed per their Princess’ wishes.” She replied, and Celestia responded by falling to her side giggling.
“Why dost thou laugh at my success? I thought that was the point of this game!” Luna said, using the royal canterlot voice for emphasis.
“Luna, oh dear, how do I put this? To use a phrase Twilight taught me not long ago, ‘You’re doing it wrong’. You are supposed to endeavour with some some subtlety. Give them gentle nudges in the right direction, not just instruct them to mate for you.” She managed to say through her giggles, as she pushed back onto her hooves.
“Oh... Thou did not include that in the rules... I appear to require some refinements to my methods!” Luna said,with a deep blush across her muzzle, before teleporting away with a flash of brilliant light.
“What am I going to do with her?” Celestia said to herself with a sigh as she facehoofed, gently rubbing the bridge of her snout.
“At least she is starting to get easier to understand, I cannot believe we used to talk like that, it all seems so silly now.” She thought to herself, a nostalgic smile on her face as she picked up the pictures of Rarity and Fluttershy again.

Now that she was left alone again she looked down at the two pictures once more. Using the letter carrier technique most likely wouldn’t work for these two, Rarity would know Fluttershy would never be bold enough to send a letter like that, and Fluttershy would be far too shy to ever respond to one. On top of that, if Spike ended up in another ice cream coma Twilight might begin to suspect something. This would require a much more direct technique, and a far more personal touch, but Celestia reveled in the challenge of it. She pulled out a long bit of parchment and began to jot down any idea that came to mind, hoping a bit of stream of consciousness would help her devise a plan.

Rarity is a Dressmaker, needs a new model, Fluttershy bits?-Possible start

Fluttershy enjoys dressing as or hiding inside of foliage. Rarity likes experimental design concepts. Explore Leafie Fetish?- No

Spa day- Bingo!

Princess Celestia, being the clever mare that she is, quickly started planning out how she would pull this plan of hers off. She would need to remove the normal staff from the spa, and use a disguise spell in order to slip in without arousing their suspicions. She would also require a little bit of help this time, and there was only one pony who could give her the kind of help she needed.

“Luna, come here dear sister, we have something to discuss.” Celestia whispered as her horn glowed gently, her magic whisking the whispered words off to her sister’s ears.
“Yes Tia? What dost thou require of me?” Luna asked excitedly as she trotted into her sister’s chambers.
“How would you like to help me with this next pairing I’m putting together?” Celestia asked, knowing Luna would jump at the chance.
“Of course sister, what dost thou need my assistance with?” Luna replied excitedly, eager to learn her sister’s techniques.

Although at first Luna was hesitant to take part in her sister’s new hobby, upon seeing how happy the ponies they “shipped” together were, she quickly took a liking to it herself, and was chomping at the bit to get some pointers. Celestia laid out the rough draft of her plan with her sister, and how they would pose as spa ponies, but Luna quickly saw a flaw in her sister's plan.

"How will we arrange for the regular proprietors to be absent so we may assume their roles Tia?" She asked as she looked over the layout of the ponyville spa.
"I, well.... kinda haven't figured that part out yet." Celestia replied, sighing and laying her head down on the table as she did.
"Perhaps they could 'win' a day trip to Manehattan, I surmise that would be sufficient." Luna said eagerly, making air quotes with her hooves when she said win.
"Luna! That's perfect!" Celestia giddily responded, and gave her little sister a tight hug.
"Glad I could help Tia." Luna responded with a smile as she leaned into her sister's embrace.

Meanwhile, far away from the two scheming sisters, down in the quaint, quiet town of Ponyville, Fluttershy trotted briskly toward the Carousel Boutique. She nudged the door open, and spotted her friend Rarity inside, in the middle of a swirling vortex of fabrics and gemstones. The skilled white unicorn mare levitated the materials around with expert precision, and with grace and elegance that befit such a talented pony. Fluttershy silently slipped in the front door, trying not to break her friend's concentration. She watched in silent awe as the chaotic mix of materials took shape, and in mere minutes they had formed 6 amazing ensembles, all of the same basic design, but with different color schemes, and with differing inlaid gemstones. Rarity smiled as she checked over each of her newest creations, as usual not a single stitch was out of place.

"Wow Rarity, these dresses are so beautiful." Fluttershy said as she admired one of the newly created gowns.
"Would you like one darling? They're my newest design, they're going to be all the rage in Canterlot by this time next week." Rarity proudly boasted, simply glowing with enthusiasm.
"Oh, but I couldn't take one of these, then it wouldn't be a complete set." Fluttershy said as she lowered her head a bit, shying away from the elegant clothes.
“Don’t be silly darling those are for the showcase, I’d make you a dress especially for you, and I simply insist on doing so.” Rarity said as she nudged Fluttershy over toward the measuring table.

Fluttershy attempted in vain to protest, but could not seem to get through to Rarity that she didn’t feel comfortable with this, especially because she knew Rarity would never let her actually pay for the dress. She let out a soft sigh as she resigned herself to the fact that whether she liked it or not she was about to have a very stylish new addition to her wardrobe.

"I actually came by to see if you had the mittens and hat for my little angel bunny put together yet. It’s getting awfully chilly at night, and I don't want his poor little paws or ears to freeze." Fluttershy said, her voice filled with genuine concern for her beloved lapine companion.
“But of course darling, and might I say the little dear will look positively fabulous in these.” Rarity cooed as she unveiled a tiny set of paw coverings and a special hat that would keep a bunny’s long sensitive ears warm.
“These will be perfect, now my angel will be cozy and toasty all winter long.” Fluttershy squeaked happily as she collected the tiny garments.
“It’s the least I could do after all the help with Opal.” Rarity said as her very stylish feline companion nuzzled Fluttershy’s leg.
“All she needed was the right kind of attention, isn’t that right Opal?” Fluttershy asked the cat as she stroked her back with the tip of her wing.
“I’d really love to know how you do that.” Rarity said as she watched Opal nuzzling Fluttershy so affectionately.
“It’s just my special talent.” Fluttershy replied with a giggle at Rarity’s frustration.

The two mares trotted into Rarity’s kitchen and found Sweetie Bell attempting to make herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and had somehow set it on fire in the process. As the trio attempted to extinguish the fire before it burned down Rarity’s shop, the two regal sisters were putting their plan into motion. Celestia had disguised herself as a tall, slender, and very attractive unicorn mare. Her coat was the same dazzling white as it always was, but she had altered her mane into a light shade of bubblegum pink so she didn’t arouse any suspicions. Luna on the other hoof had decided to go all out with her disguise and had chosen to take on the form of a short, and slightly portly pale green colored unicorn mare with a lilac colored mane.

Celestia trotted up to the front door of the Ponyville Spa, and stealthily slid the letter with the Manehattan day trip vouchers under the door of the spa, then waited for the giddy squeals of the three mares inside. After a few moments of hearing nothing she put a magically enhanced ear to the door, but was unable to trot out of the way before being trampled by the trio of spa ponies as they burst through the door. Luna stood a few feet away, giggling as she watched her sister twitching on the ground, with her beautiful white coat covered in dust. Celestia looked up at her sister with a very annoyed gaze as she dusted herself off, and got the dust out of her eyes just in time to see a passing taxi send a cascade of muddy water all over Luna's rather unflattering form. The two soiled princesses snuck into the shop, cleaned themselves up, and quickly studied the treatments the spa provided as they readied themselves for the two unsuspecting mares. In the meantime back at the Carousel Boutique, the kitchen blaze had been extinguished, and the three ponies sat around the slightly singed dining room table with daisy and wildflower sandwhiches, wisely choosing to forgo anything that involved the oven, stove, or toaster.

"Sweetie Bell how ever did you manage to set the kitchen on fire?" Rarity kindly and calmly asked her pouting sister.
"I don't wanna talk about it." Sweetie Bell replied, and buried her face into her lunch.
"It's a good thing you had that extra fire extinguisher, otherwise who knows what could have happened." Fluttershy added.
"With chef Sweetie Bell cooking one can be sure that the final step of the recipie will be 'liberally apply fire extinguishing chemicals'." Rarity said and she and Fluttershy giggled while Sweetie Bell trotted off, not nearly as amused at her sisters joke.
"It's too bad about your coat and mane, they're all sooty and singed." Fluttershy noted, and Rarity ran over to a mirror and started bawling.
"My beautiful mane and coat! They're ruined!" She cried and whined as she twirled around, overeacting to every smudge and singe she could find.

Rarity was just about to pull out her drama queen couch and have a good long cry, when an envelope that smelled of sweet perfume and shampoo floated through her mail slot. She grasped the sweet smelling envelope with her magic, and carefully tore it open, revealing two passes to the Ponyville spa. She gleefully jumped for joy like a schoolfilly who just got her cutiemark as she held them up high.

"A day at the spa is exactly what I need after a week like this." Rarity moaned as she held her hoof to her forehead dramatically.
"Didn’t we just go to the spa yesterday?” Fluttershy asked.
“That’s besides the point, we need a spa day, and these passes were free!” Rarity giddily exclaimed as she waved around the tickets.
“Well I guess if the passes were free, but I wonder why they would give us free passes like that.” Fluttershy wondered aloud as she examined her own singed mane.
“Probably because mua is their absolute best and most glamorous customer and they wish to reward me for all the business I’ve given them.” Rarity matter of factly said as she trotted into her walk in closet.

Garments started flying out of the closet as if a miniature tornado was violently swirling around within the closet as a stream of nonsensical reasons why each piece was not worthy of being worn by the prissy unicorn. She eventually emerged from the closet wearing an over complicated, but very beautiful evening gown that covered up all of the smudges and soot in her beautiful coat. With Rarity’s soiled mane and coat now hidden from the world, the two mares quickly made their way to the Ponyville Spa. The two disguised royal sisters barely had time to get the spa in order before Rarity and Fluttershy came trotting through the front door.

“Ladies I have a spa emergency! I need a full horn to tail treatment stat!” Rarity cried as she burst through the front door of the spa.
“So one full horn to tail treatment, Miss?” Celestia asked as she stepped out from behind the counter, much to Rarity and Fluttershy’s confusion.
“It’s Rarity, who are you? Where are Lotus, Aloe, and Shea Butter?” Rarity asked as she studied the new unicorn mare before her.
“Oh my apologies, my name is Steamy Sauna. My sister Seaweed Wrap and I are filling in while they’re away on their day trip to Manehattan.” She quickly and convincingly replied with a genuine trusting smile.
“Usually they would tell me if they were going to be out of town.” Rarity said in a concerned voice as she scratched her hoof against her chin.
“I’m sure if Lotus left them in charge they’ll be able to take care of us just as well as she could, at least give them a chance.” Fluttershy quietly noted.
“Of course, where are my manners, my name is Rarity, and this is Fluttershy. I’m sure Lotus left a note about us, given that we are some of her best customers.” Rarity said with a smile as she fluffed her mane a bit, trying to look more presentable.
“Ah yes she told us just what to do if you two happened to come in, right this way.” Steamy Sauna kindly said as she showed them into the main area of the spa.
“Fluttershy, my sister Seaweed Wrap will be handling your treatment while I attend to Rarity’s extensive cleansing needs.” She said as she led Rarity into the baths, while Fluttershy met Seaweed wrap at the mane styling and shampooing station.

Steamy Sauna had Rarity lay down in shallow tub full of sparkling mineral water, the tiny bubbles tickled Rarity’s hooves and hide as she immersed herself in the specialized cleansing waters. The disguised princess mused at how she was a living breathing goddess, and yet here she was disguised as a commoner, and washing one of her subjects for no real reason other than because she was bored. Her horn glowed a faint white color as she formed some of the water into a ball, and began running it up and down Rarity’s soot covered, and partially singed coat. Rarity cooed and drew slow deep breaths as she felt the orb of warm tingling water trace over her, erasing any impurities and relieving every ounce of stress from her body.

“So how long have you two been together?” She asked as she swirled the orb of sparkling water over Rarity’s cutie mark, cleaning it so thoroughly it was as if the diamonds on her flank were sparkling.
“Together? I’m not sure if I understand what you mean darling.” Rarity said, so relaxed she wasn’t quite thinking clearly.
“Oh, pardon me for assuming, with the way the note was written, and how you two were acting earlier I assumed you were a couple.” She replied apologetically, just as the tingling orb made its way over Rarity’s more sensitive areas.

Rarity’s muzzle broke out in a sharp blush at the combination of Steamy Sauna’s assertion, as well as the feeling of the bubbling waters rushing beneath her tail. Being a fashionista she had always been able to enjoy the sight of a beautiful mare, and when she was alone, with the door closed, had occasionally even fantasized about them, but never Fluttershy. Did it seem so obvious to everypony? Did the whole town believe they were a couple, and she had just somehow missed all of the signs? Did Fluttershy know, and why was this mare focusing so much time and attention on her flanks and undertail? All these thoughts raced through her mind as Steamy Sauna smiled and continued her treatment.

“Oh that feels simply delightful.” Rarity Cooed as she felt the magically manipulated sparkling water snake all over her body, clouding her mind as her body’s physical urges started to do most of the thinking for her.
“You know, you’re a very beautiful mare.” The disguised princess whispered, noticing the change in Rarity’s tone.
“Thank you darling, I do try and keep fabulous.” Rarity quietly moaned in reply.
“A stallion could never understand how hard you work in order to attain such beauty.” She continued hypnotically whispering as she continued teasing her with the tingling waters.
“They’d never understand my dedication...” Rarity cooed as a shiver ran down her spine.
“I’d be willing to wager that Fluttershy would.” Celestia whispered breathlessly, her muzzle almost touching Rarity’s ear, her horntip gently grazing Rarity’s, and all the while the captured water was swirling and snaking over her most sensitive spots.

Meanwhile on the other side of the spa Princess Luna, aka Seaweed Wrap, was tending to Fluttershy’s mane and tail. She had Fluttershy lay her head back in a special sink specifically designed for the care and cleaning of a pony’s mane, and had placed a camomile mask over her eyes to help her relax. Seaweed set the sprayer to the lowest setting, and made sure the water was the perfect temperature before starting to rinse the soot out of Fluttershy’s beautiful pink mane.

“Your mane is quite beautiful, does thy marefriend style it for you, or dos-do you do it yourself?” She asked, desperately trying not to blow her cover with her unique style of speech.
“Oh my little bunny angel helps me with my mane every morning, but it prettymuch grows in li...D-did you say marefriend?” Fluttershy started then, slowed to a stop with a high pitched, adorable squeak.
“Why yes, she is quite beautiful, would th-you please turn your head so I may finish rinsing your mane.” She replied, as she rinsed the last of the ash from Fluttershy’s mane

Fluttershy bit her lower lip, and her wings flared out slightly as she mulled the idea over in her head. When she lived in Cloudsdale none of the colts had ever paid any attention to her, because she was such a weak flier, and ever since she had moved to Ponyville she had been far too busy with her animals to get to really know any stallions. The closest thing she had to a coltfriend was Angel, and although he was a close friend, she could never see being in a relationship like that with him. Rarity on the other hoof; she had always been gentle, kind, generous, supportive, and understanding. She began to feel as if the butterflies on her flank had migrated to her stomach as she wondered if Rarity felt the same way about her. She knew she could never flat out ask her, her shyness would make her choke on her tongue long before she would be able to ask. She would have to find some other way, some way to see if Rarity was interested in her that her shyness couldn’t get in the way of. Just as Seaweed Wrap was starting to dry her mane she had an idea that she thought just might work.

“Wait...uhmm... do you think you could redo my mane and tail for me?” Fluttershy meekly asked.
“I believe we- I mean I could do that for thou.” Seaweed Wrap awkwardly replied.
“Good, uhmmm... could you style my mane and tail so they look like Rarity’s?” Fluttershy asked, her voice barely breaking a high pitched whimper.

Rather than risking another speech faux pas, she simply replied with a little smile and a simple nod. While Fluttershy was having her mane and tail restyled, Steamy Sauna was continuing to get Rarity all hot and bothered. She had Rarity lay upon one of the massage tables with an exfoliating facial mask and cucumbers over her eyes, as she gave her a slow sensual massage. Her soft hooves tenderly caressed Rarity’s now cleansed body, sending shivers of delight up and down her spine. With her eyes covered the sensation of every touch was magnified, and every precise stroke of the disguised princess’s hoof and horn replaced a bit more of her inhibitions with lust. She could smell Rarity’s scent growing thick in the air, it smelt like a sweet but not overpowering perfume, which made Celestia consider keeping her for herself. She even went so far as to gently trace the tip of her tongue up the spiral of Rarity’s horn. She only stopped when she saw her sister ushering Fluttershy into the sauna, and with a whispered command Rarity eagerly followed. In the steam of the sauna the cucumbers quickly fell off of Rarity’s eyes, and she looked over her friend in a very different way. She noticed every curve of her body, the simple beauty of her eyes, and the adorableness of the slight rosy color that now filled her cheeks. Her muzzle then fell agape in awe as she watched Fluttershy remove the towel around her mane, and she saw that it mirrored her mane style perfectly. The two mares stared deep into each other’s eyes, but did not speak a single word, there was no need. Rarity immediately recognized what this flattering gesture meant, and thanks to Celestia’s ‘treatment’ her inhibitions had completely disappeared. She closed her eyes, and slowly she began to lean in towards her. Fluttershy’s wings flared and her heart began to race as she watched Rarity leaning in. She couldn’t believe her eyes, so she closed them tight, and hoped this wasn’t her mind playing a naughty trick on her. The two shared a long deep passionate kiss, with Rarity sliding her tongue deep into Fluttershy’s receptive muzzle. Fluttershy gently kneaded and massaged Rarity’s curious tongue in her muzzle, until the two pulled back to catch their breath. Both were trembling as they held each other in the steam filled sauna. There was no going back now, and neither would have even if they could.

“Fluttershy darling, I need you.” Rarity whispered, as her hoof slid down Fluttershy’s body. To which the trembling pegasus could only respond with a quiet, but giddy squeak.

The two disappeared behind a wall of steam as Celestia levitated another ladle of water onto the hot rocks. She then turned to her sister, and the two giggled as they began to hear soft high moans coming from the back of the spa.

“Another happy couple dear sister.” Celestia said with a coy smile as she levitated a glass of tea to her lips.
“The shipping has been doubled! That was marvelous fun sister, who are we going to pair up next?” Luna replied in a bubbly tone as she giddily rubbed her hooves together.
“Oh I know just the pony, a certain student of mine who I believe is ready for a very special lesson.” Celestia replied, while licking her lips with anticipation.

Simple Addition

In Ponyville, love, or rather shipping, was in the air. In the days and weeks following thier successes with Rarity and Fluttershy, as well as with Applejack and Rainbow Dash the princesses had honed thier matchmaking skills to a razors edge. It had become more than an entertaining game immortals play whilst waiting for something interesting to happen, and had morphed into a heated competition. Ponies from colts and fillies, to Granny Smith and Mr. Greenhooves were matched up by the sisters, and thier tally was climbing at an astounding rate. Despite the clumsiness and obviousness of thier earlier attempts, nopony aside from Applejack and Rainbow Dash had even suspected royal involvement in the sudden flurry of affection in Ponyville. Down in the secluded southern field of sweet apple acres Rainbow Dash silently stalked her new marefriend. She had cleverly hidden herself inside of a small cloud, and was slowly pushing herself along by flapping her wings only when she was sure that AJ wasn’t looking. Meanwhile, Applejack diligently trotted from tree to tree, checking every single one of them to be sure that they were healthy, and properly pruned. She had no reason to suspect that the unassuming little cloud above her head was anything more than a stray cloud one of the weather ponies had missed. After confirming that the last tree in the field was healthy, she wiped the sweat from her brow and let out a relieved sigh.

“Looks like them caterpillars only ate up that one tree ‘efore Big Macintosh took care of ‘em.” Applejack thought to herself as she took a swig from her canteen, before sliding it back into her saddle bag.
“Well they ain’t expectin’ me back fer bout ‘nuther hour, ah think its time fer a little me time.” She thought to herself as she dug her head into her bag, and grabbed the base of the long slender device between her teeth, and tried to pull it out from the bottom of her saddlebag.
“Hey whatcha got there AJ?” Rainbow Dash cried, causing Applejack to stumble and trip over herself trying to replace the object, and it began to whir and buzz inside her saddlebag causing them to shake clear off of her as she hit the ground.

Rainbow Dash started laughing so hard that she fell on top of Applejack, who was far less amused, but couldn’t help but crack a bashful smile as she watched her saddlebag try to scurry away, its contents whirring and shaking so intensely that if not for her heavy canteen it would surely have been long gone. The two gave each other a quick nuzzle and kiss before dusting themselves off and getting back on their hooves.

“What brings yah all the way out here Dash?” Applejack asked as she stepped in front of her saddlebags, trying in vein to hide them.
“What? Aren’t I allowed to visit my marefriend while she’s at work?” Rainbow Dash teasingly asked before giving AJ another gentle nuzzle.
“Well ah course you are darlin, ah was just wonderin if’n there was somethin in particular that made yah drop by?” Applejack asked before returning the nuzzle and giving Dash a gentle smile.
“Actually there is, I learned something very interesting this morning while I was helping Blossomforth with the early morning shower.” Dash replied with a sort of smug smile.
“Well don’t just leave me in suspense, musta been somethin juicy if’n yah flew all the way down here tah tell me.” Applejack eagerly said, happy for any distraction from her pulsing bag.
“Well apparently Thunderlane finally got up the nerve to ask her out, but that’s not the big thing. While they were out on a date last night, she stopped to look at a dress Rarity had on display in her front window, and spotted Fluttershy and Rarity kissing!” Rainbow Dash explained, leaving AJ’s jaw hanging open.
“Ahre you serious? Fluttershy an Rarity? Ah wouldn’ ah called that in a million years, specially from Rarity. Gonna be a lot of disappointed stallions when this news makes its way ‘round.” AJ asked in disbelief, genuinely surprised at this turn of events.
“Who would have guessed a few weeks ago that we’d be together? Seems like everypony is hooking up these days.” Rainbow Dash said casually, then started to gently kiss and nibble at Applejack’s neck.
“Wait an Applepickin second! Fluttershy an Rarity, Thunderlane an Blossomforth, Granny Smith and Mr. Greenhooves, all in the same week. Ah reckon ah know what’s goin on round here!” AJ exclaimed, her eyes going wide from the realization, as well as her marefriends delightful teasing kisses.
“You don’t think...?” Rainbow Dash started, to which Applejack responded with a nod.
“Ah dunno fer sure though, that’s an awful lotta ponies fer even a princess tah be playin matchmaker with.” Applejack said as she started to piece everything together.
“What if Princess Luna is helping her?” Rainbow Dash asked, and both of their eyes went wide.
“Ah dunno why they’re doin this, but it taint right fer them to be doin.” Applejack said, a bit of outrage in her voice as she stamped her hoof down.
“Well it worked out pretty good for us.” Rainbow dash sensibly said as she smiled lovingly at Applejack, then both of their cheeks began to glow a soft shade of pink.
“Well yer definitely right about that sugar cube.” Applejack replied, before planting a little kiss on Dashie’s cheek.
“Regardless we need to tell Twilight and Pinkie Pie what’s happening, for all we know either of them could be next.” Rainbow declared, with a tone of urgency in her voice, as she poofed her chest and wings out in a proud stance.
“How exactly do yah plan on doin that? Twahlight ain’t exactly gonna believe that Celestia is doin somethin like this without solid evidence. An ah don’t know about yer letter but mine up an vanished a few days ago without a trace.” Applejack asked as she slid herself up under one of Rainbow Dash’s wings.
“I have no idea, my letter vanished too, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to warn them.” Dash replied with a determined stomp of her hoof.
“Ah course not sugar cube, ah just hope Twah doesn’ get all sore at us for insinuatin that her teacher is doin all ah this.” Applejack said nervously.
“AJ you’re the element of honesty, she’ll have to believe you. I think you just need a little... confidence boost.” Rainbow Dash slowly and softly whispered into her ear before scooping AJ up in a loving embrace.

The two mares held one another tightly, and shared a long deep passionate kiss. Rainbow's wings pomfed out and began to flap wildly as her heart raced in her chest, and slowly but surely the two rose up a few feet into the air. Applejack felt a twinge of fear shoot through her body as she felt her body raising higher and higher off the ground. This sensation of being completely not in control, while her lover had complete control, was a new and deep down terrifying prospect to the strong willed mare. She began to involuntarily shake a little bit. She knew Dash would never do anything to hurt her while she was vulnerable like this, but the simple feeling of helplessly dangling in somepony’s grasp like that shook her in a way she never had been before. Dash sensed the discomfort, and slowly lowered the two of them back to the ground, then wrapped her one wing around AJ as the two shared another affectionate nuzzle.

"Tha' was mighty special, ah ain’t never been kissed like that, while bein held like that before" AJ stammered out, clearly trying to word it in such a way that wouldn’t show how shaken it left her.
“Are you okay Applejack? You were shaking pretty bad up there...” Rainbow Dash asked as she felt a cold twinge weasel its way through her body at the feeling that she might have done something so terribly wrong.
“Just uhmm, not used tah it I guess...” Applejack replied her voice quivering a bit at the end.
“I promise Applejack, cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye, that I will never ever let you fall.” Rainbow Dash said from the bottom of her heart as she did the accompanying hoof motions.

Applejack stared deep into Rainbow Dash’s beautiful magenta eyes, and it was as if she were staring into her marefriend’s very soul. She could see the truth of her words in those eyes. If you asked her, she would never in a million years be able to describe exactly what she saw as she gazed deep into Rainbow Dash’s eyes, but in that moment she knew; she knew Rainbow Dash really loved her, and would never ever ever ever ever let her fall. She leaned in, and once more shared a long deep kiss with her, but this time they kept all four hooves on the ground or one another.

“Well since you don’t seem to care for flying, how about I see if i can find where your saddlebags vibrated off to, and you can show me the earth pony way.” Rainbow Dash whispered as she gave AJ a lustful look.
“Ah’d be delighted tah sugar cube, just try an keep it down this time, ah swear yer the loudest whinnier in all of Equestria.” Applejack said, and the two giggled quietly and blushed brightly.
“Don’t lie, you know you love it.” Rainbow Dash cockily replied.
“Ah never said ah didn’t.” Applejack cooed before revealing her stashed saddlebag.

She slowly revealed to her marefriend exactly what she had been hiding in that saddlebag, and at the mere sight of it Rainbow’s eyes went wide, her jaw dropped, and Applejack caught a whiff of the delightful scent she had come to love.

(Authors Note: This chapter was a bit shorter, but something I really wanted to get out there before I moved on to the next pairing. This is not an indicator that the chapters will be getting shorter, there was just a shorter story that needed told this time around. Also I wanted to gauge if there was interest in a colt cuddling pairing, please leave a comment if you wish to let me know your opinion.

Thank you to all of my wonderful wonderful readers and commenters for making this far more read than I ever thought it would be you ponies are all awesome ^.^. I hope you all continue to read and enjoy my work for as long as my noggin keeps churning out ideas.

~Skystriker)

Best Laid Plans...(Part 1 of 2)

(Quick Prechapter note:Just for clarification Comet Tail is not an OC he's simply a background pony I liked the look and name of.)

Celestia grinned as she looked over her perfectly laid plans. All of the pieces were in place, every minute detail had been taken into account, and she wouldn’t even need her dear sister this time. She levitated a picture of Twilight Sparkle up to eye level, and with a lustful gaze in her eyes, slowly traced her tongue over her lips. The picture had obviously been taken without her knowledge, as she was in a very compromising and revealing position. This was the task she had been honing her skills for, and it was also the challenge she had been most eagerly awaiting. Celestia had painstakingly scoured the kingdom for somepony worthy of being with her favorite, most beloved, and most talented student. It took her weeks to find this special colt, and after pulling a few strings she had arranged for him to spend some time in Ponyville. She couldn’t think of a single thing that could thwart her plans. This particular colt was a prodigy in the field of magical study, an avid student of Equestrian history, and one of the few modern masters of the Amniomorphic Spell. He would be absolutely perfect for Twilight. Now all she needed to do was to devise way to discreetly get Twilight out of the library and looking for that special somepony. She looked up and down her bookshelves, searching for the proper book to pique her student's interest.

"The pony sutra, no too advanced. The puritan pony's guide to advanced abstinence.... why do I even own this? High Tail's guidebook to seducing stallions. That might work, if High Tail wasn't a colt. Ah, this is perfect, The Bookworm's Guide to Advanced Friendship Studies: Series III, Vol II, Intimate Relationships and you."

Celestia grinned at the bright yellow cover of the book as she separated it from the pile of other assorted works in her library. She knew it was Twilight's favorite series of self help books, and one of the few pieces not written by Celestia herself that Twilight followed almost without question. She read through the book faster than most other ponies could have read through the table of contents, and then with a zap from her horn she edited the book so it slanted a bit more towards persuading a young mare to go looking for companionship.

"Hmmmm, how shall I get this book into Twilight's hooves?" Celestia thought to herself as she rubbed her hoof against her chin.
"Ah, I know just what to do. I shall simply slip this book into a shipment from the Canterlot Library. Twilight will be sure to see it on the list of books, and then all the pieces shall be in place.” Celestia proudly thought to herself as she hugged the book to her breast.

The next day Twilight Sparkle laid in her bed snuggled up tight under her covers as the morning's first light began to shine into the bedroom of the library that was her home. She reluctantly opened her eyes as she felt the warmth of the sunshine envelop her body. She rubbed her eye with her hoof before sliding out of bed, and trotting over to her mirror. Without even thinking about it she picked up a mane brush with her magic and styled her mane into the same style she did every morning. From there she continued her morning regiment, not even giving any of her actions a second thought. She was still half asleep until she had her morning cup of tea, and she smiled as she felt a shiver run up and down her spine as the caffeine took effect. A second later Spike brought over her usual breakfast of a short stack of grasscakes and toast with jelly. After breakfast Twilight pulled out her roll of parchment and started reading off the list of tasks she had made for the day. Before she could begin her study of Wonderbeard the Mighty’s collected works she heard a knock at the door. She wasn’t expecting any visitors this morning, but she had learned long ago that in Ponyville you could never anticipate when company might pop in. She magically opened up the door, and was surprised to find Pinkie Pie bouncing in front of her. Before she could even say hello to the hyperactive pink mare she pounced Twilight, knocking both of them to the floor in a pile.

“Good morning to you too Pinkie...” Twilight said, as she was overtaken by a feeling of Deja Vu.
“Twilight oh my gosh has anything happened? Is everypony okay? Does Spike have all his scales? Are you missing your toothbrush?” Pinkie asked frantically as her eyes darted back and forth.
“Uhmmm no, yes, I think so, and come to think of it I am missing my toothbrush.” Twilight answered, slightly perplexed by her friends line of questions.
“Oh that’s because I borrowed it for my production of Captain Toothbrush vs the Cavity Jerks, but that’s not important right now.” Pinkie said as if this were an everyday thing.
“You did what? Why couldn’t you use your toothbrush?” Twilight asked, a bit annoyed at the highjacking of her toothbrush.
“I said that’s not important right now, but something important is happening!” Pinkie said frantically, her voice getting a bit of a dour tone as she hugged her poofy tail.
“Okay... Then what is important?” Twilight asked, setting aside her annoyance for a moment, having noticed Pinkie’s serious tone.
“Oh I dunno yet.” Pinkie replied, her voice back to its normal cheerful tone.
“What?!” Twilight cried as she pushed the slightly portly pink pony off of her.
“Well my Pinkie sense has been going crazy all morning.” Pinkie casually replied before having the series of spasms, twitches and odd movements she used to predict the future.
“I thought you knew what all of your little twitches and feelings meant.” Twilight said as she dusted herself off.
“Of course not silly I get new ones all the time, and I figure them out as i go along, but this one is one heck of a doozy.” Pinkie said as she fidgeted a bit, looking around herself for signs of trouble or anything that could cause her senses to go off.
“What’s all the commotion in he-Woah!” Spike asked as he walked into the foyur of the library, only to be cut off by being tackled by Pinkie Pie.
“Oh...Hi Spike! Good to see you didn’t melt or anything!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she hopped off of the baby dragon, after giving him a quick looking over.
“Good morning to you too Pinkie Pie...” Spike sighed as he tried to make the room stop spinning.
“Pinkie Pie I’m sure that everything is fine around here, maybe you should check with everypony else to make sure that they’re okay.” Twilight suggested, looking for a way to kindly ask Pinkie to leave before she broke Spike, or anything else.
“You’re probably right Twilight, but I tried to see if everything was okay at Sweet Apple Acres and all that was out of the ordinary there was Applejack had Rainbow Dash’s hoof stuck inside her.
“Wha...?” Twilight asked, genuinely confused, but before she could ask Pinkie to elaborate she was gone.

Twilight dismissed what Pinkie had said about Rainbow Dash and Applejack as just some slang she hadn’t heard yet, or maybe she had misheard her or something. Regardless she returned to the main chamber of the library, but just as she was about to begin her morning study session there was another knock at the door.

“Urgh what is it now?” Twilight grumbled to herself as she got up from the table.
“Twilight, fresh book delivery from the Canterlot Archives!” Spike called out as he signed for the crate of books the mail mare had delivered.

Unfortunately for Spike he couldn’t get out of the way fast enough, and was knocked out of the way by Twilight as she giddily broke into the crate of books. While Twilight was busy drooling over all of the new books she had to read Spike and the grey coated mail mare crept behind the library.

“Do you have what I asked for?” Spike asked, then checked around to make sure nopony was watching.
“Sure thing Spike, Do you have your end of the deal?” Derpy Hooves asked, her wall-eyed gaze seeming to look everywhere at once.
“Of course, fresh from Sugarcube corner.” Spike replied as he produced a paper bag of muffins, the smell of which made Derpy’s wings pomf out.
“Enjoy your comics spike!” Derpy said with a smile after safely depositing the muffins in her saddlebag.
“Enjoy the muffins Derpy, and remember, don’t tell Twilight, she doesn’t think these are real books.” Spike said, dismissing Twilight’s assertion that Megoliath the Wonder Dragon was not a work of literary greatness, to which Derpy simply saluted before flying off.

While Spike snuck away to his secret comic reading spot Twilight began to gleefully categorize and shelve the various volumes and tomes into their correct places in the library. Several of these books she had read before, but a few of them were more obscure titles she had not yet gotten a chance to read. Then she came upon it, the second to last book in the crate, and her heart jumped in her chest, and her eyes lit up like diamonds.

“The Bookworm's Guide to Advanced Friendship Studies: Series III, Vol II, Intimate Relationships and You! This is the one book in the Whole Bookworm’s Guide series I haven’t read yet!” Twilight squee’d as she hugged the book tight.
“Wonderbeard the Mighty can wait, I’ve got a much more important book to read!” Twilight said as she collected all of her study materials and quickly stowed them away.

She trotted upstairs as fast as she could with her new book gripped in her magic, then flopped down on her bed and began to read. Her eyes and mind were glued to the pages as she meticulously read and reread every line, examined every diagram, and closely studied every footnote. She was so engrossed in the book she didn’t even notice Spike sneak back in from his clandestine comic book reading. She only doubted the book for a moment when she read something she was unsure was historically accurate, but a quick check in another reference book confirmed what the book had said. She finished the book in only a few hours, and after she had finished she was unsure of how to feel about it.

“Well.. It was a bit more heavy-hooved than her usual writings, but all of that made a lot of sense. I guess if I want to take my friendship studies to the next level I need to find an ‘intimate partner’.” Twilight said with a blush as she looked up the term.

Twilight trotted over to her bathroom, and looked at herself in the mirror. She didn’t see any problem with the way she looked, but the book had said that doing everything one could do to look attractive increased the odds of attracting an intimate partner. Twilight scanned over the few simple, low level beautification spells in the book and chose a few she was confident she could perform on herself without setting her mane on fire. Her horn flickered and sparked a bit as she performed the magic upon herself. Her mane magically became a bit fuller, and carried itself with more bounce. Her eyes sparkle and glisten with a magical sparkle, drawing anypony who looked into them to her. Her coat was suddenly much softer, and her eyelashes resembled the look of Rarity’s being full and having a seductive flow to them, framing her eyes perfectly. She felt a little bit out of her element all dolled up like that, but she was also a little excited by the concept of learning something new.

“Now I just need to find a pony who will compliment my intellect and talents.” Twilight said to herself, brimming with confidence.
“Where could I find somepony like that? Come on Twilight you’re a smart pony, you know where you can find somepony like you.” Twilight thought as she rubbed her temples, then she spotted the Ponyville times on the table, and the cover story caught her eyes.
“Renowned magical prodigy Comet Tail has recently relocated to Ponyville! He would be perfect!” Twilight gleefully thought as she clapped her hooves together.

Twilight grabbed a few of her favorite texts, as well as The Bookworm’s Guide, and made her way into town looking for Comet. As she confidently trotted into town Pinkie came bouncing out of a shrubbery and began bouncing next to Twilight, her body shivering or twitching oddly with each bounce.

“Wow you sure look pretty Twilight, did you get a new mane cut?” Pinkie asked as she bounced.
“Actually I just used a few simple transmutative spells to improve my appearance, thank you for noticing.” Twilight replied with a smile.
“So why did you get all transmookerified?” Pinkie asked, nearly tripping face first as her legs shot out in all directions just before she landed, barely giving her time to catch herself.
“I’m off to find myself a very special somepony.” Twilight confidently said.
“Oooohh Do you have anypony special in mind?” Pinkie asked as she did an involuntary backflip.
“Comet Tail.” Twilight said matter of factly.
“Oh, you might have a tough time with that one.” Pinkie said in a somewhat sad voice.

Twilight was undaunted by Pinkie’s insinuation, and continued on toward the cottage that the newspaper said Comet Tail had moved into. Pinkie shrugged, and bounced off to test out another theory as to why her Pinkie sense was going insane. As Twilight approached Comet’s home she unknowingly came under the watchful eye of the princess. She had hidden herself inside of a cloud and was secretly keeping tabs on her student’s progress. As she gazed down at her she couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of Comet, especially after the simple beauty spells she had performed, Twilight was a gorgeous young mare. Twilight Sparkle felt a little shiver in her chest as she stepped up to Comet’s front porch, but she was determined to meet this new colt to see if he was the one she was looking for. She took a deep breath and wrapped her hoof against the door of the cottage, and a few moments later was greeted by a rather handsome unicorn stallion with a yellow coat and purple mane and tail.

“Hello my name is Twilight Sparkle, and I wanted to personally welcome you to Ponyville.” Twilight said as she subtly eyed up the stallion while hoping he was doing the same.
“Ms. Sparkle, I’ve read some of your advanced magical theory essays, your work is superb.” Comet replied with a friendly smile as he shook hooves with her.
“Who’s that at the door smartypants?” A voice Twilight did not recognize asked from inside the house.
“It’s a colleague of mine who decided to pop in to welcome us to the neighborhood.” Comet called back into the house.
“Us?” Both Twilight and Celestia thought at nearly the same moment.

A moment later a small framed androgynous looking pegasus colt fluttered into the doorway. His coat was nearly the same color as Twilight’s, albeit a bit lighter in color, with a dark blue mane and tail, topped off by a cutie mark that looked as if it resembled a sunset. This new colt perched his forehooves on Comet’s back and gave him a playful affectionate nuzzle that made Comet blush a bit. Upon seeing this Twilight realized why Pinkie had told her she was going to have a tough time trying to get Comet to be her special somepony, not only was he already somepony’s very special somepony, but he was also a colt cuddler. Up above, hiding in her cloud, Celestia had her hooves over her eyes, and was trying to figure out how she could have missed such an important detail.

“Not in front of the neighbors Dusky.” Comet half heartedly protested.
“C’mon you’ll have plenty of time for book club later, get your magical butt in here and help me move the dresser upstairs.” Dusk said teasingly before nibbling at Comets ear.
“Sorry Twilight, you’ve caught us while we were still in the middle of setting up in here, maybe we could discuss magical theory over tea sometime.” Comet politely said as Dusk attempted to pull him back into the house by his tail.
“That sounds, uhmm, wonderful... Goodbye Comet, it was a pleasure meeting you.” Twilight said just before he was finally pulled back into the house.
“Well that went well...” Twilight sarcastically said to herself as she started back towards the library.

Twilight pulled out The Bookworm’s Guide once more and began to review everything she had read, hoping to find something that would help her out with her predicament. She came to a section over which she had skimmed a little bit, and gave it a more careful reading this time, and she discovered something that made her begin to smile. She read how ponies of great intelligence with many accomplishments often times did not do well in intimate relationships with one another due to their academically competitive nature, and that many had found a much better match in less well read and more free spirited ponies. She also read that a colt was not her only option for such a pony, that many of the greatest rulers, magic users and heroines of Equestria had been filly foolers. Just as she finished reading Pinkie Pie bounced up behind her with a metal bucket on her head.

“Whatcha reading Twilight?” Pinkie asked, her voice distorted and almost spooky sounding under the bucket, which startled Twilight so much that she nearly dropped her book.
“Oh it’s just... nothing important.” Twilight nervously replied as she tucked the book back into her saddlebag, and Pinkie Pie pushed the bucket up so she could see.
“Guessing that thing with Comet didn’t go over so well.” Pinkie Pie said as she put her hoof on Twilights shoulder and gave her a comforting smile, then the bucket fell back over her face.
“Yes, but I just might have found the perfect pony.” Twilight, a warm smile on her face as new thoughts and ideas blazed through her brilliant mind as she looked upon the silly, jovial pink pony by her side.

Meanwhile up in the cloud Celestia was desperately trying to come up with a plan B, now
that her perfect match for her faithful student had turned out to be a complete flop. She then looked down at Twilight as she eyed Pinkie Pie, and a little smile crawled onto her face.

“The wild card finally comes into play, let us see where this path leads my student. I may be able to salvage this mess after all. Although I am uncertain what to expect from this one.” Celestia thought as she rubbed the bridge of her snout.

As always everypony hope you enjoyed the chapter. Favorites and comments area always greatly appreciated they really help inspire me to keep writing and doing the best i can. ^.^

Shipwrecked...(Part 2 of 2)

Twilight and Pinkie trotted side by side through the square, Pinkie still cheerfully bouncing along with the bucket on her head as Twilight tried hard not to giggle at her. The two mares made a stop off at sugarcube corner, and picked up a box of cupcakes for the two of them to split for lunch. Twilight was going to point out how cupcakes were not exactly proper food to make a midday meal out of, but she decided not to because she didn’t want to endanger her chances, along with that, the cupcakes looked and smelled positively divine.

“Um, Pinkie if you’re afraid of something falling on your head I have a helmet back at the library you could borrow, that would protect you a lot better than that bucket.” Twilight offered as she noticed how the bucket kept falling over Pinkie’s eyes.
“That’s okay Twilight, I like the bucket better.” Pinkie cheerfully replied.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why do you prefer the bucket?” Twilight asked.
“Well because it protects my noodle, and if it starts raining chocolate or gummy worms or something I could totally turn it over and catch them in there!” Pinkie excitedly explained, then licked her lips as she hoped that would be what it was.
“That.. makes a lot of sense actually, smart, very smart, although the likelihood of it raining confections without the intervention of the spirit of dis-harmony’s involvement are quite slim, Pinkie.” Twilight said as the two continued along.
“What if it’s some completely new thing though, you never know.” Pinkie quickly chimed back as the bucket slid down over her eyes again.
“Well I suppose stranger things have happened.” Twilight admitted.

Every time the bucket slid down over Pinkie’s eyes Twilight skimmed over another page or two of the book, trying to find the appropriate way to break the ice with her. Each page had these little boxes with tips about how to properly compliment somepony, and what body language one should display, all of which Twilight quickly took to heart. Pinkie oblivious to Twilight’s skimming, continued bouncing along. The thought of the cupcake party was making her smile from ear to ear. In the meantime Celestia continued to observe from above, quite immersed in watching her student's progress. Before long the two came to a clearing, and set up their picnic lunch.

"Uhmm...Twilight I don't think we're going to need candles to eat lunch out here, it's still pretty bright out, unless you wanted to celebrate your birthday today even though it's still 283 1/2 days away. If that's what it is then happy 283 days till your birthday!" Pinkie gleefully cried before throwing up a hoof-full of confetti.
"No Pinkie, I didn't want to celebrate my birthday early." Twilight replied as she set the first candle down, then turned a bit shaking her flank a bit at Pinkie as she placed the second.
"Oh okay, then why the candles?" Pinkie asked as twilight lit the candles.
"Just an experiment regarding eating by candlelight." Twilight replied as the reflections of the orange flames danced in her eyes.
"Okie Dokie Lokie." Pinkie cheerfully responded as she nosed the box of confections open, while Twilight poured out some iced tea.

Celestia could see that her student was trying quite hard to subtly garner Pinkie's attentions, but could also very easily see she wasn't quite getting her message across. Celestia decided to take no chances with Pinkie Pie and teleported back to the royal apothecary's laboratory. She quickly brewed a powerful love potion, and threw in a powerful aphrodisiac to boost the effect of it. She teleported back to her cloud observatory, and breathed a sigh of relief as she observed the two talking casually. She brightened up as she watched Twilight move her hoof on top of Pinkies, but then rolled her eyes as she watched Pinkie turn it into a game of pattycake. With incredible skill and precision Celestia floated the vial of potion down toward Pinkie Pie's iced tea, and stealthily emptied the vial into it. Pinkie lifted the glass to her muzzle, but just before she could take a sip she noticed a bunny that came crawling out of the underbrush, panting and gasping for breath. Without even thinking Pinkie rushed over to the poor little bunny, cradled it in her arms, and gave the bunny her iced tea to drink. Celestia facehoofed as she watched the bunny instantly regain its vitality, before grabbing another bunny and rushing into a bush which then began to thrash around intensely.

"Could she have...? No, that must have just been terrible timing." Celestia thought to herself as she readied her backup vial of the potion.

When she returned her attentions to Twilight, she nearly facehoofed again. Twilight had attempted to give Pinkie a few cute suggestive looks, but had failed so horribly that it had turned into a ‘who could make the funniest face’ contest. With the two distracted, once more she stealthily introduced the magical liquid to Pinkie Pie's, now refilled, iced tea. She then turned to Twilight, and very gently magically nudged the cupcake she was eating out of her hoof and onto her cheek, smearing the chocolate frosting all over her cheek.

"Oh ponyfeathers...Pinkie, do you have any napkins? I swear I packed some but I can’t find any.” Said Twilight in an annoyed tone.

Celestia held her hoof over her muzzle to muffle her laughter as she looked at the pile of napkins, as well as a cupcake she had snagged for herself while the two below weren't looking.

"Oh here Twilight let me get that for you." Pinkie cheerfully said then leaned over and licked Twilight's cheek clean.
"Gotcha." Celestia whispered, then took a bite of her pilfered pastry.

Twilight blushed wildly as she felt pinkies long wide tongue trace up her cheek, getting every speck of the icing in one sweeping lick. Twilight shivered a bit, but smiled believing her hints and gestures had finally gotten through to the bubbly pink earth pony.

"You've got a little on your face too Pinkie..." Twilight whispered then slowly leaned in with her tongue extended.
"Twilight, your mane is on fire!" Pinkie screamed and pointed as Twilight's perfectly worked and styled mane, started to smoke.

In the moment of passion Twilight hadn’t noticed that when she leaned in, she brushed her mane right into one of the candles she had set up, and accidentally set her mane alight. She screamed and panicked a bit as the flames began to lick their way up the poor mare's mane. Once again acting quickly Pinkie grabbed her glass of tea in her muzzle and splashed Twi with it, extinguishing the flames.

"Did not see that coming..." Celestia whispered to herself.
"Thank you Pinkie!" Twilight cried and hugged Pinkie tight.
"What are friends for?" Pinkie asked as she extinguished the last ember in Twi's mane.

As Twilight felt the tea drip down her coat and mane she suddenly began to feel a burning desire for Pinkie Pie. The potion was seeping its way into her pores, and although it was not as powerful as if she drank the potion, it was still effecting her enough that she began to lean in for a kiss. She closed her eyes, and her lips pressed against something she knew was much rougher than any pony's skin would be. Her eyes shot open and she saw that she was in fact deeply kissing Gummy, Pinkie's pet alligator that had popped out of her mane. Pinkie was giggling wildly as Twilight pulled back and tried to spit the taste of alligator out of her mouth.

"Twilight I had no idea you felt so strongly about Gummy, but I'm pretty sure that kind of thing is illegal in Equestria." Pinkie chortled while the toothless baby alligator disappeared back into her thick, frizzy mane. Twilight’s mind began to clear, as the effects of the weakened potion quickly faded.
“I wasn’t trying to kiss Gummy!” Twilight cried, then swished some water around in her mouth and spit it out.
“Well I dunno what else you coulda been doin’.” Pinkie replied curiously.
“I was trying to kiss you!” Twilight screamed in desperation then buried her head in her hooves.
“Why were you trying to kiss me?” Pinkie asked as she rubbed her hoof gently down Twilight’s back.
“I read that one can only truly understand advanced friendship if you have a very special somepony, and I thought it was going to be you.” Twilight explained.
“Why would you pick me, I didn’t even think you were into mares.” Pinkie said comfortingly.
“I’m not really sure, but the book said that many of the greatest mares in Equestrian history were filly foolers.” Twilight continued, on the brink of sobbing as she realized how foolish she’d been.
“I think I see the problem, you’re letting that silly willy book do all the thinking for you instead of using that big smart brain in your head to figure this out.” Pinkie said as she gently tapped Twilight on the forehead.
“But it’s the bookworm’s guide, it’s never steered me wrong before...” Twilight said in a dejected tone.
“Books can be wrong sometimes, did you really even feel something for me that way?” Pinkie asked as she picked up Twi’s head and looked into her eyes.
“N-no I didn’t, I mean I still felt like I liked you, and like you were one of my best friends but... I don’t know why I tried to do that...” Twilight admitted as a blush of embarrassment crept onto her face.
“It’s okay Twilight I’m not mad or anything, and this doesn’t change one teeny tiny little thing between us. We’re all given bad advice sometimes, but we should really just learn to trust what we really feel in our hearts rather than relying on what others tell us we should think or feel.” Pinkie reassuringly said as she rubbed Twilight’s back.
“That sounds like it would make a pretty good letter to the Princess. Would you mind if I used it?” Twilight asked.
“I would love it if you did!” Pinkie said and the two shared a good laugh, putting her hoof around Twilight and pulling her into a friendly hug.
“Guess you learned a thing or two about advanced friendship anyway, right, Twilight?” Pinkie Pie gleefully pointed out.
“I most certainly did.” Twilight agreed, and the two finished eating their lunch.

A few hours later Princess Celestia laid in her bed sulking with a glass of century old brandy mulling over her failure. She thought she had everything perfectly planned to the last detail, but absolutely nothing she had done had survived first contact with Pinkamina Diane Pie. As she magically made the ice cubes swirl around in her drink a burst of green dragon fire flew in through the window and burst in front of her revealing a scroll from Twilight. It said exactly what she had expected it to say, and she filed it away with the rest of Twilight’s reports before turning over on her back with a sigh, the report adding insult to injury. She closed her eyes and took another sip of the well aged liquor, wondering what she would do next. Then she heard the sound of the dragon fire popping again, and when she opened her eyes she saw another scroll floating in front of her. This perplexed the slightly intoxicated princess, so she tore open the seal and began to read the letter, it read as follows:

Dear Princess Celestia,

I know exactly what you were trying to do today. I had my first suspicions when my Pinkie sense started going crazy with one doozy of a doozy then suddenly stopped. It was warning me that burny nose, itchy rump, ear wiggle, twitchy tail means that you’re going to try and ship me with one of my best friends! Funny how it’s oddly specific... Then I started to see the signs of your presence. I know you thought nopony noticed you up in that cloud, but you make a super duper bright flash of light when you teleport, and I dunno how I’m the only pony who seemed to notice. Also, I’m pretty sure vials of glowing love potion don’t just magically materialize and pour themselves into my tea, unless they do now, I didn’t get my ‘Glowing Vials of Love Potion Monthly’ this month, but to my knowledge they don’t. I was beginning to suspect somepony was responsible for all of the new couples in Ponyville, and if you used the same methods you tried on Twilight and I to get them together then maybe I’m going to have to see about uncoupling them. I may have had some feelings for Twilight, but if I decide to make a move it’s not going to be because somepony high up decided to ship us together. So I’m watching for you now Princess, and I am going to stop all of this shipping, well except maybe Rainbow Dash and Applejack, kinda feels like you just bucked them both out of the closet and made them make a move on each other, but the rest of this needs to stop! Oh, and I have proof it was you, you weren’t as careful as you thought you were!

Your Faithful Subject
Pinkamina Diane Pie

P.S. Attached is a photo of your plot, not sure if you realized it, but it was hanging out of the bottom of the cloud.

P.P.S. I won’t charge you for that cupcake, but I know you took it.

Sure enough attached to the letter was a picture of the Royal flank and plot, with cutie mark in view hanging out of the bottom of the cloud.

“I need to lay off these chocolate covered cakes with the orange jelly in them...but they’re so tasty” The princess said with a sigh as she chomped down on one of the delicious chocolate covered cakes.
“I wonder if Luna is having better luck than I am... No matter, Pinkie Pie your challenge is accepted.” Princess Celestia said then downed the last of her brandy, and spread her wings out quickly, making an audible pomf as she lifted the picture of every potential ship she could think of and swirled them around her in a veritable vortex of ponies.
“Who’s next?”

As always everypony I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Favorites and comments are a always greatly appreciated they really help inspire me to keep writing and doing the best I can. ^.^

Two colts and a Princess trot into a bar...

With her sister busy attempting to couple Twilight Sparkle with a stallion in Ponyville, Princess Luna had decided to take things into her own hooves for once and attempt a ship of her own. She had come a long way in her understanding of matching ponies, and the techniques involved with it since her rather embarrassing start. She decided to branch out a bit, and try to ply her skills in another town, so there was no possibility of either of the two interfering with each other. She chose a town on the border of her dominion, the recently constructed settlement of Appleoosa. It was a rough and tumble little town, as most of the settlements on the frontier tended to be. Princess Luna marveled at the self-sufficient, hard working, and obviously dedicated inhabitants of the small frontier town. This settlement was much like the ones that had transformed into the various large cities that now spanned across the land, and it was for this reason that she chose this particular town. She had arrived very early in the morning, just as her sister was rising the sun over the land, and was able to slip in with the early morning cloud cover. Even with the pink and orange shades of dawn just starting to bathe the town in light, it was already bustling with busy ponies going about their daily business. As she observed the townsfolk she began to think about this new hobby she and her sister had taken up, and the consequences of it.

“I am certain Tia will be most proud when she learns of my success here this day.” She thought with a smile.
“I wonder which of my subjects are in most dire need of affection.” She pondered to herself, then her eyes went wide as she thought of something she had not considered before.

Princess Luna magically procured her abacus from her bag and did some speedy calculations upon it, the little beads clacking and whirring wildly as she did so, and she came to a rather shocking conclusion.

“At the rate sister is proceeding, even with Equestria’s slightly larger ratio of mares to stallions, Tia may inadvertently cause a shortage of mares for the stallions, and in the process leave Equestria dangerously underpopulated in the coming centuries!” Luna gasped at the revelation.
“There is only one solution, I must couple, mate, join, oh blast the stars what did sister call it? No matter! I must create colt couples! Wait...that solves nothing...oh well, It may not solve the possible impending population decline, but at least the poor stallions shall not be lonely.” Luna decided as the morning sun finally crept its way up, bathing the land in daylight.

As she hid above the frontier town upon one of the higher clouds, she passively observed the little settlement, looking for her potential couple to be. She was considering the sheriff as a possible candidate, when out of nowhere somepony zoomed past her going so fast that it caused her cloud to spin around wildly, nearly throwing her from it. When her eyes stopped spinning, and she overcame the dizzying effects of being spun around so quickly, she saw that the pony responsible was Commander Soarin’. She recognized him even out of uniform, as she and the Commander had met several times since she had returned from exile, and she easily recognized his powder blue coat and dark blue mane, as well as his cutie mark. She knew a little bit about him, and also knew that being a Wonderbolt he didn’t have much time for relationships, so she would be doing him a favor in finding him a suitable mate. As she recalled he was incredibly fond of pies, and there just so happened to be a very cute stallion close to his age working the pie stand. That stallion, unbeknownst to her was Braeburn, Applejack’s cousin, and owner of the Appleoosa Orchard. She could imagine how cute the two would look together, and she rubbed her hooves together and smiled gleefully at the adorable image she had in her mind. Although, now she had the challenging task of figuring out how she could get the two interested in one another.

“The pies shall be the catalyst to the formation of this union.” Luna said to herself as she held her hoof in the air triumphantly.

Luna’s horn began to glow faintly and a breeze started to blow down the main street of the tiny town blowing the smell of fresh baked pies down the streets towards Soarin’, the scent seemied as if it had hypnotized the handsome pegasus, drawing him towards it. This was a good start, but she knew she would have to think of something more substantial if she wished to get these two colts together. She pensively thought on how her sister might deal with this situation in a subtle and distant way that would allow her to affect the situation from afar, and frustratingly came up with nothing.

“If I cannot do this from afar. I shall have to go down there in disguise, but as who?” She thought.
“I know I shall disguise myself as a male! Nopony would suspect a new stallion to be their beloved princess.” Luna thought to herself and closed her eyes as she cast her disguise spell upon herself.

When she the spell had taken full effect her body had changed to that of a stallion, her coat was still the beautiful midnight blue it always was, but her mane had changed to pure jet black, and instead of long and flowing it was curly and matted to her scalp. Her eyebrows had grown large and bushy, upon her lips grew a big bushy moustache, her nose had become slightly deformed, and on top of it all she now had a thick pair of spectacles over her eyes. She was pleased when she looked down and saw that Soarin’ was almost at the pie stand, and in the blink of an eye she teleported to a back alley next to the market. She then looked down at herself, and realized even all dolled up like a buck she would never pass as normal with horns and wings. Another quick spell made her wings fade from view, and she stepped out into the marketplace, and subtly made her way towards the pie stand.

“Where art thou...ah there you are Commander.” Luna whispered to herself as she saw Soarin’ trotting over.
“A little spell should be enough to tantalize ones senses.” She thought and cast a subtle spell upon Braeburn that made him smell very strongly of fresh baked apple pies.

Luna smiled as she looked around the marketplace, sure of herself and her disguise, knowing nopony would know her, it gave her a sense of freedom, she wasn’t Nightmare Moon or one of The Princesses now, she was a simple pony in a simple town. She quickly shook the thoughts from her head,as she remembered the real reason she was there. She was going to join these two stallions, and make her sister proud of her. She couldn’t help but notice a slight stirring inside her as she paused on her mental image of the two, Commander Soarin’ and the admittedly cute looking stallion. She then watched in awe as Soarin devoured one of the pies in about ten seconds flat, face first. The cute looking stallion in the booth rolled his eyes then collected his bits, and the two had a quick conversation that ended with a green coated mare, with an apple-cart cutie mark, taking over the stand while the two trotted off together. Luna wasn’t able to catch any of their conversation aside a few random words, one of which finally told her this cute stallion’s name, Braeburn. She gleefully smiled and tried to discreetly follow the pair, barely able to believe how well her plan was going. Her sister would be so proud of her.

“Where art thou going children? The town is not so large that you have many places thou could go.” Luna thought to herself as she ducked behind a wagon to avoid being seen.
“Maybe if I were to get a bit closer I could determine their motives.” Luna concluded, and started to close the distance between herself and the two.

Luna ducked between two wagons to try and get around a crowd of ponies, while completely fixated on the two, and ended up jamming her sharp horn right into the sensitive posterior of a large buffalo. The creature yelped loudly, and jumped far higher into the air than she would have ever guessed he would have been able to. When he landed hit the wooden floorboards so hard that he uprooted the nails that held the floorboards down, and sent a poor painter pony, who was high up on a ladder, into a cart full of hay below. Luna looked up just in time to see Soarin scoop Braeburn up in his hooves, and carry him up into the air to avoid the falling scaffolding. She also could have sworn she saw Braeburn nuzzle into his chest as he held him up there, but it may have just been the angle she was looking from. After apologising profusely to the buffalo she accidentally injured, she continued on the trail of the pair, who had stopped off for a cider at the town saloon.

“If only I could hear what they were saying, but that accursed piano and this rabble in here is drowning out everything.” Luna frustratedly mused to herself.
“Perhaps I should evaluate if this pair is even interested in one other in the way in which I desire them to be.” She concluded, as she realized that in this day and age what she had seen thus far might just be the way friends act toward one another.

Luna also knew just how to test her hypothesis in a very subtle way. She reached out with her magic and intertwined their tails as they sat at the bar next to each other. She came to the conclusion that if the two did not separate their tails immediately then they must be at least somewhat attracted to one another. Unfortunately just as she joined their tails together, a passing waitress bumped into her flank and spilled a tray full of mugs of cider all over her, drenching her in the ice cold cider. This caused her wings, which were still invisible, to flare out wide, sending another waitress’ platter all over her as well. The two mares apologized frantically as they started wiping her off from horn to hooves, but by the time the two had finished wiping her off the two had undone their tails, and Luna was still no closer to finding out an answer, although she was far stickier now for her trouble.

“This is simply intolerable! I shall simply have to take more drastic steps, I’m sure sister would approve of my methods.” Luna said under her breath in an annoyed tone as her eye twitched slightly.

The princess then produced a packet of a special blend of herbs that when blended just right created a powerful aphrodisiac, and fertility treatment in males. As she held the tiny packet in her magical grasp she frowned a bit, and began to consider if this was really such a benevolent act. To go to these lengths to bring two ponies together...is it right? She thought to herself for a good few minutes before deciding to use a smaller amount, just enough to perk their interest, as it were, if there was some interest there it would definitely bring it out. She broke out into a little smile as she saw Soarin lean in and whisper something into Braeburn’s ear that made the cute little stallion blush slightly, followed by a quick gentle nibble on the ear. This was it, the sign she had been looking for, now the only thing left to do was to observe them a little longer to ensure they completed their courtship. The two left the saloon, and started off towards the Apple Family orchard on the outskirts of Appleoosa. Luna was positively ecstatic that she had managed to pull this off without any help from her sister, but she could not shake a nagging feeling in the back of her mind telling her that this wasn’t something she should be proud of.
She watched the two affectionately nibbling at one another’s mane and ears as they trotted side by side, their lust plain for any to see.

“Look how happy they are, this must be a righteous act...mustn't it?” She continued to question herself as she watched the two walk into Braeburn’s home.

Luna trotted up to the window of the single story ranch house, and watched as Soarin’ pressed Braeburn up against the wall and kissed him deeply as he slowly pushed his hat off of his head, revealing his adorably messy orange mane. Soarin’s body was toned and athletic, a near perfect example of what a pegasus stallion should look like when in his prime. Braeburn on the other hoof, while toned as well, had a slightly more effeminate curve to his body that made him appear almost like a filly in comparison. Soarin’ was clearly leading him along as the two moved over to the bed, never once breaking their long, deep, and passionate kiss. Soarin’s hoof gently caressed Braeburn’s cutie mark, causing him to let out a soft moan into the kiss. Braeburn then tossed off his vest, and grinded his now bare form against Soarin’ seductively. It was all happening so fast, their hooves were all over each other’s bodies, rubbing and caressing every inch they could.

It was evident by their growing ‘excitement’ that the two of them were going to get truly intimate sooner rather than later, and the Princess could take it no longer. She knew the only reason these two were doing anything was because of her, and she could not deny how dishonest it felt. Between Rainbow Dash and Applejack had started as a joke, and Rarity and Fluttershy had clearly had some chemistry, but these two, as far as she knew, had only met a few hours ago. She had forced this, and now she knew what she had to do. She dispelled her magical disguises and burst through the front door, then into the bedroom where Braeburn was sitting upright on his haunches in Soarin’s lap, as the pegasus sat back with his hooves behind his head. The two blushed bright red as they laid eyes on Princess Luna as she barged into their bedroom.

“Neigh children, stop this at once, thou hast been deceived by me into partaking in this union!” Luna shouted in the royal Canterlot voice.
“What the hay?!” Braeburn cried as he pulled the sheets up over himself.
“Thy fornication is under false pretenses I am solely responsible for the events that transpired to bring it to pass!” She continued, her voice so loud that the windows were shaking.
“Uhm beggin’ your pardon Princess, but no yah weren’t.” Braeburn sheepishly replied.
“What?” Luna asked, her voice now calmed, and a tone of incredible confusion in it.
“Princess we’ve been together for months, and unless you were just in a really bad disguise today while you incredibly obviously followed us around, and before you were stealthier than a ghost’s shadow you had very little to do with what’s happening in this bedroom, your majesty.” Soarin answered, trying his best to retain his respectful tone.
“Months... So I.... The things I did? Was my disguise truly so ineffectual?” Luna sheepishly asked.
“We mighta been fooled, if’n yah’d rememberd to change yer cutie mark. It’s sorta unmistakable an’ unique, Princess.” Braeburn replied as he hid as much of himself as he could.
“So I am not responsible for your relations this eve?” Luna asked, feeling as if a large weight had been removed from her chest.
“No Princess.” The two answered in unison.
“Oh, well uhmm, my apologies for intruding upon your moment of intimacy.” Luna sheepishly replied as she rubbed her hoof through her astral mane.

The three then shared an awkward silence, and Luna began to ask if she could stay, only to receive two feather pillows to the face in reply, which she took in stride given how she had so rudely interrupted them. She teleported herself back to her study in Canterlot, and upon hearing that Celestia had left for Ponyville, and not yet returned, she penned a scroll to her sister.

Dear Sister,

I have had a great epiphany this day whilst attempting to couple a pair on my own. I have come to the realization that what we are doing is not as benevolent a deed as I once thought it was. I believe that we are wrong to be manipulating ponies lives simply for the sake of our enjoyment, and that saying this game is for any other purpose would be dishonest. It is my sincerest wish that you cease and desist any plans for future coupling attempts, and consider disbanding any that are not true in the hearts of the ponies you have coupled. Please sister, I implore you end game before we you hurt somepony permanently. Please.

-Luna

“One more card to play.” Celestia whispered as she added a picture of her sister to the box of pictures

As always everypony I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Favorites and comments are a always greatly appreciated they really help inspire me to keep writing and doing the best I can. ^.^. (extra points to anypony who figures out who luna is disguised as.)

Return to Sender (Part 2 of The one where Pinkie and Luna Get Shipped)

As the train chugged its way through the countryside, not a single one of the conductors knew the true cargo that the container car carried. Within the enchanted walls of the container Pinkie was slowly but steadily learning the basic spells that most unicorns learned before even attending their first day of school. After a few long hours of practice, and several broken chairs and nik naks, she had all but mastered basic telekinesis.

“Wooooww...that’s going to make baking so much easier!” Pinkie cheerfully announced, as she, with great effort and concentration levitated a wooden chair.
“Pinkie...you’re not keeping the royal wings nor my horn.” Luna grumbled, her tone slightly annoyed at the whole situation.
“But I will have them until Twilight figures out how to change us back, and I can only imagine how many cupcakes I could make at once now that I have Princess power!” Pinkie excitedly squeaked and licked her lips at the thought

Princess Luna allowed her mind to wander for a moment and she contemplated how lucky she was that this was the pony that her powers had been transferred to. Were they transplanted into a less altruistic pony the consequences could have been dire not just for her but for all of Equestria. Pinkie Pie was literally just handed the powers of a living goddess, and her first thought was of how much she could now bake to feed her fellow ponies, and her second was of how she could return them as quickly as possible. She was truly a good pony in every sense of the word.

“Ooooooh I bet I could make it rain chocolate milk again!!” Pinkie cried.

Or she could just be quite mad, though a kind of madness that at the very least, was not malevolent.

“So what other kinds of magic can you teach me?” Pinkie eagerly asked, with a smile that was completely irresistible.
“Well I suppose I could instruct you in the practice of low level conjuration, that could prove useful to us if we are trapped in this container much longer.” Luna said after careful consideration of their situation.
“Conjuration? Like...when your special somepony visits you if you’re in prison and they let you go into this little room to-” Pinkie began to ask, only to be cut off mid question,
“I do believe that term is conjugal, conjuration is the school of magic relating to summoning or magically creating objects at will.” Luna explained.
“Hold on a second, so you’re telling me I don’t even have to bake the cupcakes? I could just poof them up?!” Pinkie gleefully asked, so excited that her hooves were shaking back and forth like a young filly standing in front of a pile of her birthday presents, ready to dive into them.
“Well I suppose conjuring edibles would be most advantageous given our current circumstances.” Luna answered, amused at Pinkie’s confectionery obsession.
“I wanna try to conjurify cupcakes! Please please please oh pretty pretty please, with whipped cream and a giant cherry on top, teeeach me! ” Pinkie pleaded.
“Alright, thou hast convinced me. We shall start small, one cupcake, that should allow us to gauge if thou art ready for this kind of magic.” Luna said and flipped to the page for conjuration spells, then set it down in front of Pinkie.

As Pinkie read over the instructions for the spell Princess Luna searched for the sturdiest looking trunk she could find, and quickly dumped out the contents. She then hopped inside of it and closed the top most of the way, taking cover as best as she could, just in case something went wrong. Pinkies long spiraled horn began to glow as she focused her thoughts and magic as best as she could, and after a few tenuous second a chocolate cupcake with pink frosting materialized between the two mares.

“Huzzah! Thou hast performed the spell admirably, and with the pleasant side effect of not leaving us in pieces scattered about the container!” Luna cheered as she clapped her hooves together.
“I bet I could do more than one.” Pinkie confidently boasted and her horn began to glow again.
“Neigh! Do not attempt to conjure more than thou are capable!” Luna tried to warn her, but it was too late.

Luna closed the trunk and curled up in a ball with her head over her hooves, only to be swiftly ejected from it, and tossed across the car onto a sofa by an explosion of well over a hundred cupcakes that materialized within the trunk. This left the poor earth pony princess dazed and wall eyed, as she laid upside-down on the sofa.

“Oh my gosh this is like the greatest treasure chest ever! Its filled with cake!” Pinkie screamed as more and more cupcakes, cakes, cookies, and pies started pouring out of the trunk, spreading out over the floor of the container until a small mound of them had formed in front of the overflowed trunk.
“Thy vivid imagination appears to have given thou a natural talent for conjuration.” Luna mused.
“Princess I’ve been meaning to ask, why do you talk funny like that sometimes?” Pinkie asked between bites of pie.
“I have been attempting to update my speech patterns, but it appears in moments of duress or intense emotion I revert to speaking in the old ways.” Luna replied, then picked up a brownie and took a bite.
“I think it’s kinda neat that you talk different sometimes. It makes you special, well in a more special than a princess sorta way.” Pinkie said with a smile and Luna blushed a little.

Luna was taken aback by the complement, most times when somepony complimented her it seemed that they only wanted to gain her favor for political or social expediency, but this bubbly pink pony seemed truly genuine. As she watched Pinkie rather adorably burying her face in the pile of confections a soft spot in her heart began to slowly grow for her.

“Would you like me to teach you another such spell Pinkie?” Luna asked.
“Absotively Posolutely I would!” She squealed in excitement.
“Very well, Pinkie” She said, then looked through the book of spells and found a similar conjuration spell.

She placed the book before Pinkie and hopped into her, now empty of confectioneries, makeshift bunker. While Pinkie was busy reading the spell carefully.

“Oh...this one sounds useful too, I can poof up clothes! That’d be great for costume parties!” Pinkie exclaimed happily.
“Now Pinkie” Luna said calmly “Simply attempt to will a piece of clothing into being in front of you, and if you are successful they should appear.” Pinkie then focused her recently acquired power through her horn, and the interior of the container filled with a dazzling white light, then something popped into existence, and the light faded, revealing Pinkie in a set of the strangest clothing Luna had ever seen.
“Thou art dressed in an incredibly amusing manner, Pinkie Pie. I have never seen such ridiculous clothes!” Luna said, suppressing her laughter.
“Hey! Somepony get me a mirror, I need to see what’s so funny! It might come in handy next time I foalsit for the Cakes.” Pinkie rushed to a mirror, and immediately started laughing.

She stood before the mirror in a set of lederhosen, colored in pink, light blue and yellow. Pinkie began laughing harder and harder until she rolling around on the floor holding her sides.

“Wow that was funny! Oooooh when did you get changed, Princess?” Pinkie asked with a snorting laugh, intrigued by the new set of strange clothing Luna is wearing.

The outfit was a tight, shiny and black, that seemed to cover everything except the areas that usually would be the last places you would want exposed in a dress. Her flank and plot were clearly exposed, and there were shiny metal fittings all along the border of them as if they were framing them in order to draw the eye to them.

“What?! Allow me to see, Pinkie Pie!” She then pushed Pinkie gently out of the way before looking at herself in the mirror. “Pinkie, what is this? Why didst thou put me in this...this...I don’t know what it is but I don’t like wearing it. Although... It does reveal my flank in a rather appealing manner, perhaps I shall wear it, it does seem to show off the royal assets, as it were.”
“I’ll say it does! I mean.. uh..um Princess, that’s...that’s not really appropriate for all the time, just for the bedroom.” Pinkie stammered, unable to stare away from her.
“You ponies surely wear some strange things to bed in this age. In my time, if anything, one wore a simple long gown in order to help keep warm” Luna said as she admired herself in the mirror.
“No Princess...no...you see...” Pinkie began to explain, then noticed Luna enjoying her new outfit immensely.

She then sighed and facehoofed, giving up on trying to explain to her the use of her new outfit. She knew if she did that it would ruin her enjoyment of it, and if there was one thing Pinkamina Diane Pie was not, it was a buzzkill.

“Hark, I do believe the train is slowing.” Luna said as she put her ear to the side of the container.
“Ooooh do you think they’re letting us out for a potty break, cause I reaaaaaally gotta go!” Pinkie joked as she crossed her back legs and danced around on her back legs awkwardly.

The train was indeed pulling to a stop, and both Pinkie and Luna knew this was their shot at escaping their shipping prison. Luna ran to the door of the container, and in one swift fluid motion turned,reared her hooves up, and firmly planted both against the door as hard as she could. Pinkie closed her eyes and flinched as she watched Luna fly across the car, landing back in the trunk she had been using as her bunker, slamming the lid shut on top of her.

“It appears that the shielding also protects it from physical assault.” Luna weakly said as her eyes swirled around and around in her head.
“Hmmm I think I have a plan but it’s pretty risky.” Pinkie said as she stared down the door.
“Do not attempt to use my magic upon it, that is how we came to be in our current forms, remember!” Princess Luna protested.
“Oh I’m not gonna use magic, and I’m not gonna buck it either, I’m going to use the most unstoppable force in all of the universe.” Pinkie said as she narrowed her eyes.
“My sister when she wishes to dine upon cake?” Asked Luna as her vision finally normalized.
“No.... a Party!” Pinkie enthusiastically replied.
“I do not see how a party would remedy our current situation.” Luna said, a single eyebrow raised in confusion.
“Just let Auntie Pinkie Pie work and we’ll be out of here in no time.” Pinkie boasted.
“I am over two thousand years older than thou!” Luna again protested, this time pouting a bit as well.

Luna then watched in shock and amazement as Pinkie produced a cannon, seemingly out of nowhere. She then watched as Pinkie channeled her new Alicorn powers into the little cannon, which began to glow and morphed itself into a much more powerful looking piece of artillery. Once more Luna shut the lid of her trunk and tried to make herself as small as possible as Pinkie pressed the muzzle of the cannon right against the latch of the door.

“Party in the hole!” Pinkie screamed, then pulled the lanyard, setting off the cannon with a thunderous report.

Outside of the container the conductor ponies had just finished their inspection, and were about to head into the station for coffee and donuts when they heard the thunderous report of Pinkie’s upgraded cannon. The doors to the container flew open, and a few seconds later they watched in awe and confusion as a Pink Alicorn wearing Lederhosen flew out of the crate with a midnight Blue earth Pony, in a very revealing black latex outfit, riding upon her back. The eldest of the three conductor ponies pulled a flask from his coveralls, and tossed it in the trash before heading inside while the other two continued to stare up in wonder.

“Was that a..?” The one started, but couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence.
“I think so.” The second replied, unable to believe his own eyes.
“Coffee and Donuts?” The first asked, as he turned around.
“Yes, and let us never speak of this again.” The second replied with a nod and they headed into the station.

Meanwhile less than half a mile away Pinkie and Princess Luna hung upside-down in a weeping willow tree, completely tangled up in the vines. Princess Luna stared at Pinkie with an unamused gaze while Pinkie responded with her best ‘I’m sorry’ smile.

“Okay, so the loop de loop wasn’t my greatest idea.” Pinkie admitted.
“Perhaps we should walk for a while.” Luna grumbled.
“Great Idea! I know a whole bunch of walking songs!” Pinkie replied with her trademark giant infectious grin, and no matter how much she didn’t want to, Luna returned the smile.

As always everypony I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Favorites and comments are a always greatly appreciated they really help inspire me to keep writing and doing the best I can. ^.^

Special thanks to my prereaders and my special somepony for keepin me going and helping me out with this one.

The Long, Weird Road Home (Part 3 of The One Where Pinkie and Luna get Shipped)

Sorry for the update being late again everypony, double shifts on the weather team kinda shorted me on time. (and by that I mean IRL) Hope you all enjoy!

Having escaped their shipping crate prison Pinkie Pie and Luna set off toward Ponyville, hoping that Twilight Sparkle would be able to set the two of them right. After their crash landing the two had decided to hoof it for a while, and attempt to get their bearings. They came across a cherry orchard that Pinkie Pie recognized, and determined that they were in the outskirts of the town of Dodge Junction. It was a long walk to Ponyville, but at least they knew their start point, and Pinkie could guide them home. Pinkie Pie was quite a sight to behold, a full blooded regal alicorn mare who was now bouncing along the road as if she were a schoolfilly who had just downed an espresso.

“So anyways then I was thinking I could call it a chimmy cherry, but then I thought cherry chonga, what do you think princess? Chimmy cherry or cherry chonga, chimmy cherry or cherry chonga?” Pinkie asked as she bounced down the road.
“I do not see why thou would be so worried about naming them if thou has never even created one of these confections.” Luna said, feeling a little grumpy on account of how sore she was from the crash.
“Oh but I have to get the perfect name before I make them, otherwise it wouldn’t be right!” Pinkie said with a carefree smile on her muzzle.
“Well I suppose there is logic in what you say...I think.” Luna conceded as she trotted next to the bouncing pink alicorn.
“So I know why your sister locked me in the box, but why did she lock you in there with me Princess?” Pinkie asked.
“I fear she ensnared us so that she could stop us from meddling further in her current obsession with the ‘shipping’ of our subjects.” Luna somberly answered as they trotted along.
“Oh so she figured locking us away would keep us out of her mane for at least a few days.” Pinkie surmised.
“Yes, although it seems terribly shortsighted, were I still in possession of my powers we would already be back in Canterlot. She could not have thought that container would hold us for very long.” Luna continued.
“Do you think she might be going loco in the coco?” Pinkie asked with a loud gasp.
“I fear that my sisters sanity may be in question, she has been neglecting her duties as of late in favor of this obsession.” Luna said dourly, but the effect was completely spoiled by the clank of the metal on her outfit.
“What do you mean? Like she hasn’t been signing the royal papers, eating the royal cakes, or anything?” Pinkie continued, trying to get the a bit more detail.
“Sister would never cease partaking of the royal cakes, but for a fortnight I have been raising the sun and moon.....myself...” Luna stuttered upon the last bit, her eyes went wide, and she stopped dead in her tracks.
“What’s the matter... oh, right...” Pinkie’s smile lessened as she came to the same realization that Luna did.

With Celestia preoccupied with her obsession, Luna suddenly turned into an earth pony, and nopony to teach Cadence, there would be nopony to keep the day and night cycle in balance. The only hope for Equestria was for Luna to attempt to teach the unstable, unpredictable, and untrained alicorn Pinkie Pie how to lower the sun and raise the moon.

“We are so very doomed.” Luna thought as she forced a nervous smile.
“Couldn’t we just wait till Twilight fixes us, Princess, cause come on, I can’t lower the sun and raise the moon, those things are heeeeeavy!” Pinkie hopefully asked.
“Unfortunately that would not be possible Pinkie, if the sun is left in the sky too long there could be dire consequences for Equestria.” Luna explained.
“Yeah, all that sun would really get hot...think of all the ruined ice cream!” Pinkie gasped loudly and had a sad look in her eyes.

Luna began to explain to Pinkie Pie how arguably one of the most powerful magic spells ever created worked. Despite how powerful the spell was it was nowhere near as complex as Pinkie would have thought.

“Is that really all there is to it? Couldn’t we just get Twilight to do it then? Then we could avoid possibly blowing up or something.” Pinkie said with an eager smile.
“Neigh, it must be done with the Royal horn, Twilight Sparkle’s magic is powerful indeed, but it would take over a thousand unicorns of her power to accomplish this task.” Luna explained, and Pinkie rolled her eyes.
“Of course it would, that would have been too easy.” Pinkie said with a little snort.
“Time is short Pinkie, you must try!” Luna said, trying to be as encouraging as possible, while secretly wishing she had her trunk to hide in again.

Pinkie took a deep breath and her horn began to glow. The clouds parted above her and, while taking slow deep deliberate breaths, she steadily increased her magical output and took flight, flying straight up into the sky, and slowly but surely the sun began to set and the moon began to rise. Luna beamed brightly as she watched Pinkie doing far better than she ever could have hoped given how little time they had to prepare. Pinkie looked up at her handiwork, and a rush of excitement began to flow over her body, right into her horn. It suddenly flared brightly, and a bolt of lightning shot up into the sky arcing into the clouds, which promptly started to spew rain down upon the land. Seeing this Pinkie beamed even more, and another larger bolt shot up into the sky, and into the moon. Luna’s eyes went wide as she watched as the sun and moon begin to chase each other in the sky. It was night, then day, then night again and again, it was as if they were on a giant mobile that was spinning far too fast. Thankfully, after a great amount of effort, Pinkie was able to slow the speeding celestial bodies down to a normal speed, and she descended back to the ground, panting and covered in sweat.

“Piece of cake.” Pinkie said through her panting, then collapsed on top of Luna.
“Perhaps we should find a place to rest for the night, thou art in no condition to travel much further.” Luna said, her midnight blue coat covering up a blush as she stared deeply at Pinkie’s plot.
“Sounds like a plan to me.” Pinkie said, attempting to stand, only to collapse again, this time sitting on poor Luna’s head.

Luna smiled as she helped Pinkie along, she was so very proud of her companion, and slowly but surely that soft spot in her heart was growing. After about an hour of searching they came to a large farmhouse with the lights still on inside. The pair hoped that the farmer would be nice enough to let them stay the night, and maybe even feed them. As they approached the door they tried to make themselves look as presentable as possible, but Luna couldn’t quite get her mane to stay right.

“Pinkie ever since thou sat upon my head my mane will not stay right, and I cannot shake this peculiar sweet smell from my nose.” Luna complained as she gave up on getting her mane to stay the way she wanted it.
“Maybe it’s because I like you.” Pinkie said with a smile that made Luna blush deeply as the farmer answered the door.

The farmer was a pale yellow coated earth pony stallion who’s mane and tail were a powder light blue. In sharp contrast his cutie mark was a great big shiny red apple. Just inside the house they could see the mare they assumed was his wife,she was also an earth pony, her coat was a pretty light sapling green, her mane was a fine shade of gold, and her cutiemark was three green cupcakes. He greeted them with an enthusiastic smile and quickly ushered them into the living room. Although neither Pinkie or Luna were in a position to turn down such hospitality, neither were expecting such a warm reception given their current states. This was a better reaction than they had ever dreamed they would get, but they soon learned why. The farmer introduced himself as Red Delicious, and his wife as Apple Tart of the Apple Family. Pinkie and Luna exchanged a subtle glance that the two quickly picked up on, and they assured their new guests that they were not related before their nuptials.

“Not like them Pineapples, that family’s family tree has more loops than a roller-coaster.” Apple Tart said quietly.
“Well like ah was trying to explain Princess we heard that yah were touring Equestria an we thought who better tah help us with our problem than the Princess of Love.” Red gleefully explained.
“What kind of problem? Is your oven broken? I bet if I gave it a good kick it would fire right up, at least that usually works with the Cake’s ovens. I know I love those ovens too but sometimes you gotta be tough with them.” Pinkie said and tapped her hooves together, while the two apple family ponies stared at her in confusion.
“N-no Princess ah was referrin’ to our uhmmmm, issue gettin mah bun in her oven.” Red explained, as his cheeks turned as red as his cutie mark.
“Is thy confection too large or something?” Luna naively asked, missing the euphemism all together.
“Well ah’d say its more a uhhh problem gettin the dough to rise.” Red sheepishly replied and whimpered a bit.
“Oooohhh those kind of problems.” Pinkie said as she looked at the embarrassed stallion with an empathetic smile.
“Perhaps your assistant has the answer, she looks tah be well versed in gettin’ stallions to rise to the occasion.” Apple Tart insinuated as she pointed to Luna.
“Pinkie, exactly what did she mean by that?” Luna asked.
“She was saying that with how you’re dressed it looks like you’ve had a lot of fun in the hay.” Pinkie said with a smile.
“Just what about my nightwear gives ponies that impression!? Thou shall explain thyself!” Luna demanded, pointing a hoof at Apple Tart.
“Well it’s just that ah’ve only ever seen mares wear those kinds of clothes at Cherry Jubilee’s little side business.” Apple Tart tried to explain.
“Just what kind of business would need mares dressed in nightwear?! Thou are not making sense!” Luna demanded as she shook the confused mare.
“A Gentlecolt’s club!” Apple Tart desperately blurted out as she was shaken
“Oh...oh dear...” Luna blushed deeply as she realized exactly what she was wearing.

She apologized for shaking her so much, and left to remove the kinky barding, only to return a few moments later with the barding still on, having not been able to remove it.

“This is the most frustrating clothing I have ever encountered... tis far too tight to remove, and I am unsure of how to undo these metal pieces upon my flank.” Luna admitted in a defeated tone.
“Do you want me to try and take it off of you?” Pinkie offered.
“No-no-no-no, I mean uhh neigh Pinkie, I do not wish to over-strain you.” Luna said as she waived her hooves back and forth in front of her.
“I also wish not to be atomized, and I suppose this outfit still is rather flattering to my figure despite its connotations.” Luna thought as she took her place at Pinkie’s side.
“Uh...gettin’ back to our little um...problem...Princess...Could you help us?” Red Delicious asked, still embarrassed of his problem.
“Okie Dokie Lokie” Pinkie replied and the Apple couple smiled widely.
“So what should we do Princess?” Apple Tart asked.
“Got a can of whipped cream?” Pinkie asked with a lusty glisten in her eye.

Sadly the Apples didn’t have a can of whipped cream, and the closest Pinkie could come up with was a jar of apple pie filling Apple Tart had made earlier that day. Unfortunately for the cute little green mare pie filling does not mix as well with one’s coat and mane nearly as well as whipped cream would, and Apple Tart ended up a sticky matted mess, with her husband feeling no more aroused.

“Well this certainly is a sticky situation.” Pinkie exclaimed at the sight of Apple Tart.
“This is gonna take ferever tah get out of mah coat!” Apple Tart whined.
“Nopey dopey, I’ll have it out in a jiffy!” Pinkie said.

Pinkie then lifted up the sugarcoated mare in her magic and spun her around as fast as she could, and with a few quick flicks of her tongue she came down clean, very dizzy but clean.

“Did that solve thy problem Red Delicious?” Luna asked as she watched him watching the display of tonguesmanship.
“Enope.” He said in a defeated tone, and his ears dropped.
“A mare dragging her tongue upon another mare does not cause a stirring in thy nethers? This is a serious condition.” Luna said in a shocked tone.
“Um...Luna...usually for that, it has to be in specific spots, not like what I just did.” Pinkie tried to explain, but Luna didn’t seem to see a difference.
“Ah think I need to sit down for a second.” Apple Tart said as she rubbed her forehead.
“That’s okay, we need to think up a new strategy anyways, take a break and get ready for the next round.” Pinkie said before trotting over to Luna.
“She tastes like apples.” Pinkie whispered to Luna in a singsong voice.

The four of them spent most of the night trying out various techniques and kinks, most of which Pinkie thought up on the spot, although they were not having much success. Drinking a whole pot of coffee each only seemed to make them talk really fast and get all jittery, rather than jump starting Red Delicious’ libido. The attempt to have them role play only ended in Red finding out that his wife secretly played tabletop role-play games with her friends every Tuesday night rather than quilting like she told him she was doing. They were considering attempting to see if Red was secretly a leafy, but when they took into consideration that he normally bucked trees, they decided against it.

“Well..I’m all outta ideas...We tried everything! I’m getting really tired,and I think my assistant is too...” Pinkie said as she pointed at Luna, who was sleeping and snoring loudly.
“Wow...yeah, she’s tired. Okay, I have one more thing I wanna try with you guys. My Love Cupcakes! Guaranteed to make ponies fall in love, and get them busy in bed! I didn’t wanna use them, because they kinda leave ponies, well...chafing. Lots of chafing, but you two seem that desperate. Okay, let’s get started!” Pinkie said then clapped her hooves together then rubbed them together.

Pinkie rushed into the kitchen, and started gathering ingredients. Red Delicious and Apple Tart watched in awe as Pinkie flew through their kitchen at a whirlwind speed. The clattering of the pots and utensils Pinkie was using rudely, and suddenly woke Luna from her slumber. In her dazed half asleep state she kicked wildly, and connected with a pepper shaker that had rolled out of the kitchen. The shaker smacked Pinkie right between the eyes and temporarily stunned her as it burst open, sending all that pepper into the air around her.

“Aaaah....aahhhh....” Pinkie reared back and her wings flared as she contorted her nose, letting everypony know she was about to sneeze.
“Couch, shelter me!” Luna cried as she hopped behind the couch, leaving Red and Tart confused.
“Princess, are you alri-” Red Delicious started, only to be interrupted mid sentence.
“AAAAAATCCHOOOOO!” Pinkie sneezed loudly, her horn flaring as magic engulfed the room for a moment.

A small pile of confetti laid in front of Pinkie as she rubbed the pepper from her nose. Luna cautiously peeked over the edge of the couch, hoping she wouldn’t be greeted by something horrific, only to fall back down behind the couch on her back laughing profusely before she discovered something that made a little sparkle appear in her eye.

“Uh wow...um...sorry about that.” Pinkie said as she tried to stifle a giggle
“You two are in clown outfits!” She blurted out, then fell to the floor giggling wildly.
“I...honey...um...this is working.” Red said sheepishly as he felt himself rising to the occasion.
“Ah’m gettin kinda hot an bothered too.” Apple Tart shyly admitted.

The pair rushed upstairs as quickly as they could, past a still chuckling Luna, who was holding a small object on her back. A loud squeaking started to emanate from the master bedroom, and Pinkie and Luna stared at each other in confusion. The sound was clearly that of a clown nose being honked, but it was happening to the rhythm of a quick hard love making session.

“Well that was just plain weird...” Pinkie remarked as she looked up the stairs.
“Indeed it is Pinkie, did jesters become attractive in my time away?” Luna asked.
“No, that’s not what I meant...I think they thought I was Cadence.” Pinkie replied, causing Luna to facehoof.
“Pinkie, I believe it is time we left. I think we might be able to find another place to rest tonight. We do not want to remain here to listen to those two...clowning around.” Luna said then giggled at her own pun.
“I think so too...let’s go Princess.” Pinkie said as they left the house.
“What’s that you’ve got there Princess?” Pinkie asked as she noticed Luna’s souvenir.
“I shall explain once we find a suitable shelter for the night.” Luna replied.
“Okie dokie Loki” Pinkie gleefully responded.

As they turned down the road they could still hear the echo of the squeaking and their dirty talk, and couldn’t help but share another giggle.

“Oohh Apple Tart, shape my balloon animal!” Red Delicious moaned.
“Honk my nose Red, honk it hard!” Tart cried, and Red honked it as hard as he could.
"Oh Red, hit me with your cream pie!" Tart screamed.

As Luna and Pinkie walked, Luna turned to Pinkie “Pinkie, hast thou ever considered calling your confection a Chimmy Cherry Chonga?”
“That’s Perfect!” Pinkie squealed, borrowing the Canterlot voice as she hugged Luna tight to herself.

Luna could not help but nuzzle into her hug and smile, she felt warm and appreciated in a way she had not felt in a very long time, and the fact that Pinkie smelled like cotton candy didn’t hurt either.

As always everypony I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Favorites and comments are a always greatly appreciated they really help inspire me to keep writing and doing the best I can. ^.^

Special thanks to my prereaders and my special somepony

The MoonPie Conspiracy (Part 4 Of Pinkie and Luna)

Sorry that this particular chapter took so long everypony, anypony who's been to a convention knows how it is getting back to real life. I hope you all enjoy chapter... holy crap I wrote 10 chapters!

After their exodus from the fresh slice of awkward that they left behind just outside of Dodge Junction, Pinkie and Luna were unable to find anypony else who was still awake at that late hour, so they took shelter in what appeared to be an abandoned boat-house that was sitting next to a creek. The slightly dilapidated structure wasn’t exactly a palace befitting of a princess, but it would do to keep the pair dry from the storm that was brewing overhead.

“I do not remember a thunderstorm being scheduled for this evening.” Luna remarked as she looked out the foggy glass window as the rain began to pitter patter upon the roof.
“Maybe it was a last minute change.” Pinkie said as she pointed her horn at a pile of broken wood and boxes that laid in the corner.
“I do not think so, unless my eyes deceive me it is only raining over this domicile. Perhaps the weather manager for this sector is inexperienced and this cloud has separated itself from a larger cell of adverse weather.” Luna observed as she pointed out to the creek, which she could see it was not raining into.
“Oh shoot, that’s not what I wanted!” Pinkie said in an annoyed tone as she looked at an enormous cube of gelatin that sat where the pile of refuse once sat.
“I told you Pinkie, thou must clear thy mind completely and focus singularly on what you want in order to transmute an object.” Luna said in a kind instructive manner.
“I can’t help it I smelled whipped cream right before we left the house and that always makes me think of this great jelly dessert Mrs Cake makes.” Pinkie explained as she poked the cube and it jiggled.
“Allow me to assist you.” Luna said and held her hoof over Pinkie’s and smiled reassuringly.

Luna had taken notice that whenever she was directly instructing Pinkie, especially when holding hooves with her, that she performed far better. She couldn’t help but ponder whether this was due to her power still being magically linked to her, or if Pinkie was simply far more confident in their use when she was close. Pinkie closed her eyes and focused as hard as she could and the horn began to glow once more. Luna whispered little reassuring praises and stroked her hoof as she watched, and felt pride swell up inside her breast as she watched her ‘student’ work. The gelatin cube glowed bright white and began to change shape, and as it did Luna began to praise Pinkie more and more, making the bubbly pink pony smile from ear to ear. When she had finished casting the spell, before them sat a queen sized bed with two pillows, and a comforter that bore Luna’s cutie-mark upon it.

“Didst thou mean to emblazon my mark upon the bed?” Luna asked with a coy smile.
“I uhhh well you were talking while I was doing it so I thought of you too.” Pinkie replied nervously, her pink coat hiding a blush, but her new wings flared up and betrayed her.
“Thy wings tell a different tale.” Luna said as she hopped up on the bed.
“You’re talking all old timey, Princess, maybe you have some feelings you want to share too?” Pinkie asked, trying to deflect.
“Perhaps I do” Luna answered as she fluttered her eyes a bit.
“Wheeeee!!” Pinkie squealed then hopped on the bed sending Luna flying into the air and the two began to bounce on the bed together.

The two fell back on the bed, and stared deep into each others eyes, still giggling a little bit as Luna scooched up close to Pinkie, and the two shared a warm embrace. Pinkie had filled the princess with such wondrous feelings of carefree joy and ecstasy, the likes of which she hadn’t experienced since before she took on her duties of raising and lowering the moon. Luna was overcome by these intense feelings, she closed her eyes slowly, then leaned in close, and kissed Pinkie. Pinkie was caught off guard, she had been hinting in her own way that she had been interested, but she had no idea if she had gotten through until she felt Luna’s lips upon her own. The two of them blushed brightly as their tongues pushed past their thresholds into each others muzzles. Their hooves explored all over one another’s bodies and they kissed deeply and passionately, only ever breaking it to come up for air. Luna then rolled over so Pinkie was on her back, and gave her a very lustful look to which Pinkie simply smiled.

“This is my kind of party.” Pinkie whispered as she leaned up to nuzzle Luna’s neck.
“Thou hast such a marvelous definition of one.” She replied then leaned down and licked Pinkie’s horn.

The windows of the boathouse glowed with brilliant light and a sharp moan from within caused a flock of birds to take flight. Meanwhile a short flight away in Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle was boarding up the windows to her library, and had already placed a bookshelf against the front door. Her mane was frizzed out and her eye had a slight twitch to it as she attempted to secure her abode as best as she could. The previous day’s peculiar celestial events combined with Princess Celestia’s lack of communication had put Twilight on the edge of going a bit crazy. This was compounded by the fact that she could not seem to find any of her friends. She had only been able to find Applebloom and Big Macintosh at Sweet Apple Acres and neither of them had any idea where their sister had gotten to. The story was the same for Fluttershy and Rarity, the Carousel Boutique was closed, and aside from her animals Fluttershy’s cottage was abandoned. As if to put icing on the cake of Twilight’s paranoia Pinkie Pie had also mysteriously vanished after going out on a delivery. She came to the conclusion that her friends had been captured by some force that didn’t want the Elements of Harmony used against them. Once she had every door and window barred, and her magical force-field up she spent the rest of the night studying Equestrian history trying to discover what evil might be making its play. After another strenuous, although this time far more normal, changing of the celestial bodies, Pinkie and Luna set off once more towards Ponyville.

“That was much better this time Pinkie, the sun and moon only spun around twice before thou slowed them down.” Luna complimented her as they walked down the path.
“Yeah, hopefully next time they need changed you’ll be the one doing it though.” Pinkie said with a smile as she finally managed to catch her breath.
“Indeed, how much longer until we reach Ponyville, and why did thou put that ridiculous outfit back on?” Luna asked, hoping they were not far off.
“At least another full day if we walk the whole way, and because i wanted pockets, duh. Why are you still wearing yours?” Pinkie replied as she batted at a stray bit of her mane that had fallen into her field of vision, then gave Luna a sly glance.
“Unacceptable, we must find a quicker mode of transport, and thou knowest I cannot remove it!” Luna exclaimed as she stamped her hoof down upon the ground.
“We could try flying again.” Pinkie suggested, changing the subject from their attire.
“No, you are capable on your own, but with a passenger you are far more unstable.” Luna replied, then nuzzled Pinkie gently.
“Perhaps if we were to use the train. Yes, the solution to our problem is the same conveyance that got us into this predicament.” Luna said triumphantly as a lit light-bulb appeared above her head.
“I’m getting good at this!” Pinkie said with a giggle as she pointed to the freshly conjured light-bulb.

Luna rolled her eyes, amused at Pinkie’s conjuration, and the two made off toward the tracks. For once luck was on their side and the two of them jumped into an open boxcar of a passing train that was headed for Ponyville. A few short hours later the two jumped off just outside of Ponyville and made their way into town. Ponyville was a ghost town with the streets of town completely empty in an almost eerie sort of way. The two made their way to the library as quickly as they could, and slammed face first into Twilight’s protective spell. Twilight looked out the window only briefly enough to see a pink alicorn at her door and she immediately lowered her protective spell and pulled the two of them inside without giving them a second glance.

“Cadence,it’s so good to see you things have been absolutely cra- wait a minute! How do I know it’s you? Sunshine Sunshine, Lady bug’s awake, clap your hooves and give a little shake!” Twilight cried and went through all the motions to her little dance, ending with Twilight shaking her plot right in Pinkie and Luna’s face.
“Oh my, sister was right, her assets are quite pleasing to the eye.” Luna commented.
“Uhmmm Twilight I appreciate the dance, but we don’t have time for a sexy party right now!” Pinkie exclaimed, and they watched Twilight’s eye begin to twitch.
“Well of course you’re not Cadence, you’re Pinkie Pie and she’s Lun...wait a second P..Pinkie Pie? An alicorn? In Lederhosen? Luna an Earth Pony? Is that dominatrix gear? Why? This can’t..No...no...that’s...impossible...ludicrous...Discord? Show yourself! Only you would do this!” Twilight raved, and the two of them watched her with a concerned look as she shouted into the air about Discord one moment, and Changelings the next.
“Wow...Uhm...Twilight, have you been watching those conspiracy theory shows again?” Pinkie asked, waiting for Twilight to break out the tinfoil hats.
“No...well a little...I watched a series that said that the illumineighti secretly runs Equestria, and had Celestia replaced with an evil lizard queen from outer space, and that pretty soon they’ll all herd us into camps and make us work as slaves to the state! It’s true!” Twilight raved as she paced back and forth in front of them.
“Uhh Twilight? Equestria to Twilight, we have a serious problem here.” Pinkie said as she shook and slapped Twilight out of her delusional state.
“Right, I have some preparations to make, you two wait right there!” Twilight said and rushed deep into the bowels of the library.

Pinkie and Luna cautiously followed Twilight into the depths of the library, and watched perplexed as she rushed all around. She was turning dials and flicking switches frantically and had a sheet over something placed upon a suspended table that she was rushing all around. They watched as she put on a lab coat and goggles as she made her final checks. She then pulled on the chains with her magic, and the table began to rise up through the ceiling of the chamber and up towards the top of the library. Pinkie and Luna gave each other a concerned look and couldn’t help but wonder what might be on the table under the sheet. Before they could climb down to ask her, a bolt of lightning struck the raised table and it slowly began to creak back down to the floor of the basement laboratory. The two cautiously approached Twilight, who was now quietly raving to herself as she trembled while looking down at the sheet.

“I saw the signs, an eclipse! The sun and moon spun around and around in the sky! It had to have been something! No Celestia, no Luna...my friends are gone...it must have been them!” Twilight whispered to herself as if she were afraid someone would overhear her.
“Do..do we even want to know what you have under the sheet? A..and where’s Spike?” Pinkie asked, looking worried at the lump under the now charred sheet.
“They said I was crazy! That it couldn’t be done! Well who’s laughing now when I have created the perfect grilled cheese sandwich!” Twilight then cried, and pulled the sheet off revealing a perfectly toasted grilled cheese which she then started eating while Pinkie and Luna sat there staring in disbelief.

After she finished her sandwich Twilight seemed to calm down a bit more, not quite back to normal but she was no longer insanely ranting to herself. She then calmly trotted back up to the library and pulled out three books and started reading them all at once looking for a solution to Pinkie and Luna’s predicament.

“You gonna explain that whole rant Twilight? Or are we just gonna forget it ever happened like that time I had a tea party with a bag of flour?” Pinkie asked as she approached Twilight from behind.
“Thou hadst a tea party with a bag of flour?!” Luna asked with a look of ‘what have I gotten myself into?’ on her face.
“Long complicated story I’ll tell you next time we have some pillow time.” Pinkie replied with a smile that somehow put Luna at ease.
“So how exactly did this happen?” Twilight asked and turned just in time to catch the two of them nuzzling each other.
“Twas a teleportation mishap Twilight.” Luna answered nervously as she caught the look Twilight was giving them.
“ And just why were you two trying to teleport anyways? Not trying to run away to your love nest or something, were you?” Twilight asked, a slight hint of annoyance in her voice, irrationally feeling like Pinkie had rejected her and gone for Luna somehow.
“Oh Twilight, don’t be that way, I like you, really, it’s just that we weren’t meant to be that way, and you should see this thing Luna does with her hoof...but that doesn’t matter! Celestia had organized it all!” Pinkie tried to explain.
“Oh that’s just crazy!” Twilight replied.
“Oh it does feel crazy, but that’s not the point!” Pinkie said as her wings pomfed out.
“No, I meant that Celestia is hooking everypony up, that’s just insane.” Twilight said with an annoyed groan as she turned to the two.
“And space lizards and the illumineighti is more believable, right?” Pinkie retorted.
“Tis true Twilight Sparkle I have seen it myself.” Luna said with conviction.
“Ugghh...fine, say she is, say that the reason she’s locked herself away and stopped talking to EVERYPONY is to hook everypony up...What are we going to do?” Twilight asked, still only half believing what they were saying.
“First, you need to recombobulate us!” Pinkie said as she flailed her hooves around.
“Right, I’ll ‘recombobulate’ the two of you, now hold still.” Twilight said, putting air quotes around ‘recombobulate’ as she said it.

Twilight chanted the mystical incantation and closed her eyes as she pointed her horn between the two of them and the whole room was bathed in a similar brilliant light to that which was produced when they were discombobulated. With a loud pop the light slowly diminished and the two were back in their own bodies, their outfits laying upon the floor, and Twilight sprawled out on the floor, completely exhausted.

“Huzzah we have been made whole!” Luna declared as she flapped her wings and spun around.
“I’m back to normal too! This calls for a party!” Pinkie cried and pulled out her party cannon and slammed her hoof against it coating the room in confetti as she started dancing around with the Princess.

Meanwhile in the palace in Canterlot in the private chambers of Princess Celestia a secret candlelit rendezvous was underway. The bookcase slid back revealing a room with a leather bed and a white coated pony firmly strapped down to it. The figure struggled and writhed against the bonds as Celestia stepped into the secret room.

“Oh stop struggling, those bonds were designed to bind a goddess.” Celestia snorted.
“You know my plans are coming together so wonderfully, having you here is just icing upon the cake.” She continued. as she caressed the bare cheek of the bound pony.
“Maybe once this is all over I’ll keep you around for my more perverse needs, or maybe not.” She said with a chuckle as she left the room and sealed it behind her.

Would really like to know how you all feel about so much Pinkie Luna in this, I love writing both of them and would love a little more feedback on how you all are feeling about it.

Thank you to all of you who have favorited and watched and liked you all really help to keep me motivated to keep this going, things are going to be coming to a head soon and I think you all are going to like it a lot. Special thanks to my cowriter my prereaders and my very special somepony as always love you hun ^.^.

Chaos Reigns

Chaos Reigns

My apologies this one was so long in coming once more everypony I hope it was worth the wait. I promise the next one won't take nearly as long as this one.

In the opulent bed-chambers of Princess Celestia, the living goddess trotted back and forth, with a worried, almost pained look on her face. Upon the wall there hung a giant cork board with pictures of ponies pinned to it, and strings darting every which way connecting those she had shipped together.

“Just a few minor setbacks, there is no reason to panic, everything should still work out in the end.” Celestia muttered to herself, as if she were trying to convince herself.

Meanwhile in Ponyville Princess Luna was resting with Pinkie Pie under her wing, nuzzling the little mare gently as the two snuggled in Twilight’s bed. The two of them were positively delighted to be back in their own bodies, and from having been in one anothers bodies for a time they had learned each other’s sensitive spots, those special little places that sends sparks of pleasure through each other’s bodies. Pinkie truly enjoyed teasing the Princess’s every little sensitive spot, and reveled in her every moan and coo. It quickly became quite heated between the two to the point where Twilight excused herself from the bedroom, but wasn’t above keeping a magical eye on the two while she rested on her cot in the downstairs laboratory. As Twi lay there, her horn glowed with a soft violet light and her vision changed from seeing what was before her to seeing through the eyes of the painting of Celestia she had upon her wall.

“I am quite happy Ms. Sparkle opted to let us have the room to ourselves, I would feel quite awkward being intimate with you with an audience.” Luna confessed as she nibbled Pinkie’s ear.
“Awwwww are you a shy pony LuLu, you don’t gotta be, sometimes having other ponies watch can be fun, but I understand.” Pinkie replied then nuzzled the special little spot under Luna’s wing and they shot straight up, flaring out widely.
“M-my my thou really hast learned what I like quickly.” Luna stammered as a blush broke onto her face.
“You’re talkin all old timey again, that must mean I’m adding the right ingredients! Oh you have so many wonderful tingly spots to add to the mix.” Pinkie chimed as Luna moaned.
“I-ingredients?” Luna asked, puzzled by Pinkie’s statement.
“To an amazing orgasm of course, silly!” Pinkie replied as she giggled at Luna’s expression.

Pinkie then began to sing a happy little song as she went through the rest of the “ingredients” to a great orgasm.

“All you have to do is turn up the vibrator’s power! Add it to the mix!” Pinkie sang as she produced a vibrator from seemingly nowhere.
“Now put it to her plot cause it's sweet, not sour! Add a bit of lube, just a pinch!” She continued to sing as she checked the things off her list.
“Making LuLu moan is such a cinch.” She sang, then Luna let out a soft moan as Pinkie dragged her tongue along where she had inserted the toy.
“She tastes kind of like Sarsaparilla!” She giddily sang as she licked her lips.
“Lick a little more and you count to four and you never get your filla!” Pinkie continued then went back down upon the heavily blushing Lunar princess.
“Lulu’s cuu-” Pikie began, only to be stopped by Luna mid word.
“Stop! Cease thy rhyme of pleasure Pinkie I detect a cry for help!” Luna cried as she leapt up from the bed and flung open the window.

Luna looked out over the town and saw chaos the likes of which she had not seen in centuries. Ponies chasing each other through the streets, magic flashing and blasting bits from homes, and even the occasional writhing couple in an alley or side street, where they thought they remained unseen. Pinkie popped up beside Luna, grabbing hoof fulls of popcorn from a bag she pulled from nowhere, watching the swirling maelstrom of chaos make its way through Ponyville.

“Ooooh wow, looks like Discord is in town or something...Do you think there will be chocolate rain? Because there was last time and I love chocolate rai...oooh what are those ponies doing in that alley?” Pinkie enthusiastically asked Luna, as she pulled out a pair of binoculars.

She suddenly turned a sickly shade of green and buries her muzzle in the popcorn bag. Pinkie lifts back up, looking almost the same as she did prior, if a little green still.

“It’s...it’s...Granny Smith and Mr Greenhooves...there’s some wrinkly places you’re not meant to see!” Pinkie cried as a shiver went up and down her spine.

Before Luna could answer her, Horse Power flew past the window as fast as his tiny wings can carry him, followed on the ground by Cheerilee, who was throwing magazines at him as he fled. One of which flew through the window, and landed at Luna’s hooves.

“Playmare? I can see those stallions...well it’s just...I can see everything, Pinkie!” Luna remarked in a shocked manner as she stared at the magazine.
“Wait till I catch you, you lied to me! I’ll make you eat these magazines!” Cherilee screamed as she nailed the fleeing stallion with one of the magazines.

Both Princess Luna and Pinkie Pie burst into fits of laughter at that, and then the ground began to shake. The loud sound of hooves was so heavy on the ground that they both wondered if it was a stampede was headed right for them. Then they caught sight of the source of the sound. It was a group of mares and stallions all chasing the red blur that was poor Big Macintosh. The mighty work stallion was running as fast as he could from a whole herd of ponies determined to take the mighty work stallion to bed.

“Ah just need a break! Ya’ll are gonna drain me dry! Ah never shoulda taken that dern gypsy’s potion, save me Celestia!” Big Mac yelled as he disappeared down the street.

As the stampede of stallions and mares made their way past the library Pinkie and Luna couldn’t help but notice the odd mix of scents that made their way after Big Macintosh.
“Dost thou think we should assist him?” Luna asked as she watched them all disappear into the distance.
“Nah he’ll be fine, it’s not the first time he’s been chased by a whole herd of ‘Admirers’ like that, but it was a little bigger than usual.” Pinkie said dismissively.
“If thou art sure.” Luna said then pulled Pinkie into a tight embrace.
“Can we go back to having our special kinda fun?” Pinkie asked as she shot Luna her most convincing set of bedroom eyes.
“I think we should assist the Villagers before we continue with our fornication.” Luna replied with a matter of fact look on her face.
“Fine, but it’s gonna cost you. I’m gonna be a Kinkie Pie for making me wait!” Pinkie said with a naughty grin on her face.

Authors notes
Horse Power- They YEEAAAHHH Pony from Hurricane Fluttershy
Hope you all enjoyed the chapter I really really enjoy hearing from all of you it really helps keep me motivated to keep this story alive and going. So please comment. Special thanks to my prereaders and my co-writer True Vision.

Drunken Princess Barnyard Ho-Down Jamboree

Despite Pinkie’s reassurance that Big Macintosh’s predicament was nothing out of the ordinary, Luna convinced the bubbly pink mare to accompany her down to Sweet Apple acres to be sure that the mob of ponies didn’t do anything rash to the poor stallion.There only problem was, what to do with Twilight Sparkle while they tried to get help and try to get things back to normal.

“Ooooh! I have an idea! What if we introduce Miss Book Smarts to clop!” Pinkie playfully suggested, as she flicked through a Playmare magazine that had landed in her mane after Cherilee had tossed it at her buckfriend.
“Neigh...I doubt such base thoughts could keep her distracted for long enough Pinkie. There is but one who can hold her attention for the duration we would require. My sister Celestia.” Luna said, causing Pinkie to eye her suspiciously.
“Well that’s all well and good Lulu, but I don’t think a lecture counts as clop, well I don’t know actually, it might for Twilight.” Pinkie started, although Luna caught she was about to go on yet another of her tangential rambles and decided to nip it in the bud.
“No, Pinkie, my sister gets Twilight Sparkle wet!” Luna shouted, and in the process alerting half of Ponyville to the fact.
“Well what do you know! Huh...hey wait a minute, how do you even know that?” Pinkie asked, as she eyed up Luna hoping for a juicy tale.
“I have noticed she gets a rather odd quiver in her hind legs when she is being scolded by my sister, and one would need to be blind not to notice how affectionately Twilight readily nuzzles her. Is that enough to suspect that my sister makes her nethers glisten?” Luna stated quite matter of factly.
“It does sound like Celestia gets Twilight’s oven hot. I think I got an idea!” Pinkie said with wide eyed glee as ideas began to swirl in her head.

Luna watched Pinkie as she rubbed her hooves together. The look upon her face was one she had quickly learned in her short time with Pinkie, it was her scheming face.

“Pinkie...dare I ask what thou are thinking?” Luna asked, with a worried tone in her voice, wondering what new scheme she had in mind, half wishing she still had her trusty chest to hide in.
“Lulu, wait here.” Pinkie declared and rushed off, only to quickly return holding a bag in her mouth.
“Pinkie...what hast thou gathered?” Luna asked, hoping no pyrotechnics were in the sack.
“Oh nothing...just the answer to our problem!” Pinkie said gleefully, she then tipped two items from the bag.

A magazine with a black baggie covering it, and a little ball connected to a pad with a few buttons on it spilled out onto the table. Luna then examined the items with a puzzled expression for a moment.

“Pinkie...what is this?” She asked as she picked up the small ball.
“Oh that? It’s a toy that makes mares feel good, like the one I used on you while I was singing earlier, but this one isn’t stallion shaped.” Pinkie eagerly answered before poking the remote with her hoof, causing the ball to begin to vibrate, and the Princess to drop it in surprise.
“Very well Pinkie, but how dost thou sugge-Oh..by the moon and stars is that my sister?” Luna asked as her cheeks began to burn such a vibrant shade of red, that it was clear to see even through her midnight blue coat.
“This?” Pinkie asked as she held up the magazine, and indeed, there was a white alicorn, who resembled Celestia, on the cover, even down to the flowing, celestial mane.
“This isn’t your sister, this is a porn mare. Princess Molestia is her stage name, she even wears a fake horn, and her mane is enchanted.” Pinkie explained while Princess Luna’s wings involuntarily flared out as she examined the magazine.
“After closer inspection...I believe you, Pinkie. This “Celestia” is missing a birth mark on a very intimate area.” Luna’s blush subsided somewhat as this minute detail proved it was an imposter.
“And just hooooow do you know that, Lulu?” Pinkie asked in a teasing, sing song voice.
“It is simply that I am her sister, and know these things from living with her.” Luna said, her eyes moving ever so slightly to the left, before returning to gazing into the light blue eyes of her mare.
“Alright, but I know you royal types. So all we have to do is make sure Twilight finds the magazine and the toy so she stays put. If she does goes out, something might happen to her. Your sister being the main worry.” Pinkie said, with a worried look on her face, and Luna nodded in agreement.

Pinkie and Luna headed to the main room of the library, where the library’s texts and usually, Twilight Sparkle, can be found. As the two peeked their heads inside, they found Twilight waiting for them, giving the two of them a face that had, "did you really think I wouldn’t be keeping an eye on you two" written all over it.

“I was listening to everything. Just give me the magazine and go. I may be a bookworm, but a mare still has needs.” Luna and Pinkie looked at each other and shrugged. Pinkie then gave Twi the bag containing the toy and magazine.
“Don’t go anywhere, okay, Twilight!” Pinkie shouted as the two ponies ran out the door, and Twi gazed down at the magazine.
“Great, I already have this issue. I wonder where Spike went.” Twilight thought to herself as she trotted into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her.

All the way to Sweet Apple Acres the two of them found what could only be described as the most chaotic impromptu celebration Ponyville had ever had. There was open fornication in the streets, drunken partying throughout the town, random musical numbers being performed, and even the occasional food fight. Princess Luna was most perplexed by the behavior of her subjects, while Pinkie on the other hoof was enjoying all of the chaotic fun. As they turned down the drive to the Apple Family farm a strange cocktail of scents began to tantalize their noses. It was as if a wagon full of sweet scented candles had been set alight somewhere close by. Once they caught sight of the barnyard they discovered the source of the smell was something far more impressive. They came upon Big Macintosh laying in the middle of a pile of sleeping ponies, the powerful stallion was a sweaty, sticky, and exhausted mess. Everypony that was chasing him had gotten exactly what they wanted.

“My word, thou looks as if thou have been bucking apples from thy trees for a week!” Luna said, as she gasped at the depraved, yet arousing sight before her.
“Oh he’s been bucking something alright, and it wasn’t trees!” Pinkie added, the last part in a sing song voice that Luna found undeniably adorable.
“Eyup.” Big Mac replied weakly, completely exhausted.
“Have you seen Applejack, Big Mac? She isn’t in that pile is she?” Pinkie asked, cracking a joke she hoped the stallion wouldn’t take offense to.
“Enope, she’s in the barn ah think.” He simply replied as he laid his head down on a rather voluptuous flank.
“Ah, If Applejack is here, then I am certain Rainbow Dash should also be here.” Luna said with a smile on her face.
“Eyup.” Big Macintosh said, his words muffled by the flank he was talking into.
“Yeah, I guess...how’d you know they were a couple anyway?” Pinkie asked, and shot Luna a curious look.
“I...well..I was a part of the scheme when my sister coupled them. It seemed so innocent at the time. I saw no harm in bringing those who love each other together.” Luna sheepishly admitted
“What?” Pinkie simply asked, her mouth agape.
“I...it wasn’t anything like this at the time, Pinkie...you must understand, I only had noble goals when I helped my sister...well...except for those guards, but I didn’t understand the concept when I did that.” Luna blurted out, her guilt making her spill her guts.
“Guards? What the buck are you talking about? I don’t care if you were helping your sister at the start right now, but oooooh will your bottom wish it hadn’t been born when Mistress Kinkie Pie is done with it later.” Pinkie said with a somewhat menacing smile.

Although she would not admit it in such an open setting, the thought of Mistress Kinkie Pie was beginning to sound rather appealing to the Princess of the Night, even if it meant not being able to sit for a few days. The two trotted over to the barn and heard the most peculiar noises coming from within. Pinkie nudged the door open, and the two went wide eyed at the sight before them. They spotted Rainbow dash, who was wearing Applejacks hat, with her back up against a large casque at the back of the barn, and she was pouring a tankard of cider down her stomach, and betwixt her legs was Applejacks head. Even from the distance they were at, the two could clearly see not a drop of cider had hit the ground. Besides Luna’s wings unfurling, and standing up on end once more the two mares were completely frozen at the sight of what they had caught the two mares doing.

“Mmmm tha-tha’s three ciders fer me an two fer you, just remember whoever spills a drop first is wearin the bit’n bridle tahnight.” AJ said from between Dash’s legs, a bit of a slur developing in her speech, after finishing the last of the cider.
“Yeah yeah, I remember, an I’m gonna enjoy the sight of some leather on you.” Dash cockily replied, with a slight slur in her speech as well.
“An ah`m not gonna letcha weasel yer way out ah it this tahme by sweet talkin me an doin that thing ah like with yer wingtips.” AJ said matter of factly as she let Dash down and poured another tankard of cider.

Before the two mares could switch places with each other Pinkie, who was leaning forward to get a better look, lost her balance and fell face first into the barn, sending the barn door flying open, and revealing herself and Luna. Applejack and Rainbow Dash’s faces both turned bright red, because they knew that the two had been watching them for at least a little while, and no doubt had seen them in the act. Rainbow, being her brash self, and helped along with more than a little liquid courage, decided to speak first.

“Hey...uh...you two...I’m not really sure what you’re doing here...but...you wanna join us for a drink? You don’t have to drink it like we were though. Mugs are okay. Though our way is a lot more fun.” Rainbow Dash slurred as she smiled at them.
“Sure! Sounds like fun!” Pinkie giddily responded, and started bouncing over toward the two blushing mares.
“Pinkie...Applejack, Rainbow Dash, while thy offer does sound tempting, we must protest, and say that now truly is not the time for....” Luna was then cut off by the feeling of a soft pink hoof rubbing up and down her back, focusing on the most sensitive spot between her wings.

Princess Luna’s wings flared out high again, and her blush deepened slightly as she felt Pinkie rubbing her just right. She quickly began to relax under the skillful hooves of the happy go lucky pink coated mare she had come to adore. Pinkie then shot her an irresistable smile, and touched a tankard of cider to her lips and Luna took a deep sip of it.

“My...that rubbing...this concoction...tastes truly heavenly, Pinkie.. I do believe I shall take thy up on thy offer.” Luna whispered as she joined the other three mares at the table.
“So Princess wha` brings yah tah our corner ah’ve Equestria?” Applejack asked as she poured another round for them all.
“Well Applejack tis a long, and admittedly odd tale.” Luna said as she sipped down her drink.
“Aw I luff funny stories! You gotta tell us!” Dash slurred as she nearly fell off her seat.

Princess Luna and Pinkie then told Applejack and Rainbow Dash all that had happened to them, all the way from waking up in the Shipping Container until getting their bodies back a few hours prior. AJ and RD couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of several of the things that had happened to them along the way, and in retrospect even Pinkie and Luna had to giggle a little at all that had happened.

“Tha’s a mighty crazy story Princess, oh where are mah manners? Ah’m hostin a Princess ah shoulda brought out the really good stock.” Applejack slurred, then before Luna could object she had produced a large and quite dusty glass bottle filled with a much darker liquid than the cider they were drinking.
“Why didn’t you bring that stuff out for me?” Dash asked, as she pouted on her chair.
“Yah can barely handle the regular apple family brew, if’n yah had just a little ah this ah’d be carryin yah tah bed tonight.” AJ replied with a little grin, knowing she was absolutely right, and knowing Dash wouldn’t even bother to try and say she was wrong.
“Heheh, yeah Dashie, even Applebloom can handle the regular stuff, imagine what the Applejack Daniels would have done to you.” Pinkie added in a quick outburst.
“Oh this rah’t here is even stronger n that, an older than ah am.” Applejack explained. “Applejack this is very nice of thee, but I do not require such special treatment.” Luna said, and gave AJ a gentle smile. “Ah insist Princess, besides this here bottle was saved just in case ah Princess ever did decide tuh visit our humble little farm.” Applejack explained as she wiped the dust off the label and it said ‘Apple Family Princess Reserve’ on the side. “Dost that say Princess Reserve? J..just how old is that bottle? I remember the old Castle having Apple Whiskey of that name.” Luna asked as her eyes went wide. “It’s not quite tha old but it is a vereh vereh old Apple Family recipe. Even older ‘n Granny Smith.” Applejack said whispering the last part before breaking down giggling.
“Well I would not wish to insult thou by denying thy special bottle its intended purpose, so I shall partake. Thank thee Applejack.” Luna said as she uncorked the bottle.

Princess Luna then poured out three small glasses of the powerful liquor and set them before Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and herself. Rainbow Dash pouted at the fact she didn’t get a glass, but knew that if she had, it would have put her on her flank. The three clinked their glasses and sipped the strong apple liquor down, a shiver ran down all three of their spines as the high proof drink shocked the system of even the princess.

“Oh my, I have not partaken of spirits of like this in a millenia, my head doth swim a bit already.” Princess Luna said with a little giggle as she felt a warm feeling flow over her body.
“Mmmmm this makes me feel all tingly wingly all over!” Pinkie cried, and then giggled and snorted.
“Ah like apple tastin’ stuff” AJ added, having about reached the limit of what she could drink and still see past her hooves, before letting out a hiccup.
“Applejack I think that’s enough for you.” Pinkie said, and pulled Applejacks glass away and set it next to Luna’s.
“Huzzah the shots have been doubled!” Luna announced then filled both glasses up and then drank them one after the other.
“Thaz exactly whah we call it...uh...princez reserve...jus them can drink more than ah couple. Is jus whah makes em even feel drunk...zap apples. Made all alcoholy” She slurred out then hiccuped again.
“It’sh so tasty though I want another one.” Pinkie said as she poured her third glass.
“Thou should be more careful Pinkie, thy friend’s spirits are strong, even I am feeling rather wibbly wobbly already.” Luna admitted as a liquor blush made her cheeks rosy.
“I’m gonna make that blush even brighter little Miss Starry Flank.” Pinkie said with a giggle as she rubbed Luna’s flank.

The four mares continued to drink and talk for most of the night, giggling and going on like little filly’s having their first sleep over. AJ even clumsily snuck into the house and retrieved a whole big plate of Apple family desserts which they gleefully partook of, the sugar helping to keep the spirits from putting them to sleep.

“I musht confess there are.... there are instashes when I belive my sister sent me to the moon jus so she could have all the royal cakesh to hershelf. She got soooo fat while i was away.” Princess Luna drunkenly ranted, giggling and hiccuping as she went.
“She looksh perfahctly fahne tah me.” AJ said before playfully nibbling on Dash’s ear, so she could watch the cyan pegasus’s wings stand on end.
“N-no no reeally look at her, in compared to me or Cadence, her flank is nearly the size of my moon! I-In fact when I first saw her I was scared cause all I could see was dis big round white thing an I thought I was back on the moon!” Luna cried and nearly fell off her seat laughing as Pinkie did fall to the ground, in a giggling wiggling pile.

With another cider in her system Rainbow Dash no longer had the clarity of mind to see that the Princess Reserve was not something she should be drinking, and in a moment of impulse she grabbed the bottle. Applejack's eyes went wide as Dash put the bottle to her lips, tipped it up, and swallowed three times before slamming it back down on the table.

“Sheee, anyfing you cam drink ah can han- why are you all sshpinning?” Dash started, before trailing off as the powerful liquor took effect.

Although she did not realize it the room was spinning because Rainbow, trying to show off, had lifted off a few feet into the air, and the powerful drink hitting all at once had made her forget she had done so. Then to compound things she lost the flapping rhythm she needed to hover in place, and she started twirling in the air.

“Applejack, I think we should get her down before this gets all messy.” Pinkie suggested, somehow being the most sober amongst the group.
“C’mere darlin, yer way over tha` limit fer flyin.” Applejack said, and stumbled over to Dash, then yanked her down by her tail.

Unfortunately for both of them Dash no longer had the coordination to land properly after having her tail yanked in such a way, and she fell right on top of Applejack before passing out. Applejack rolled her eyes and dragged Dash over to a soft pile of hay, and laid her down for the night before deciding to spoon in behind her and pass out as well.

“Wow looks like she really Rainbow crashed.” Pinkie cried out before pouncing Luna into another soft pile of hay.
“Oh Pinkie thy puns are part of the reashon I love you so.” Luna said with a smile as she held Pinkie close and kissed her deeply and passionately.

They snuggled and kissed in the hay until both of them had nearly faded off to sleep, but Pinkie decided she wanted one last cup of cider before she went to sleep. She filled a tankard up to the brim, then got down between Lunas legs, stuck her tongue out, and poured it all down the Princess’s body. Not a single drop hit the hay.

Author Notes:
Caske- http://images.fuzing.com/members/6/19/00034619/41014.300x300.jpg
tankard- http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/ead141a09bf88aab5c7a6bcb00d88bc1/137420%20-%20applejack%20artist%3Aahumeniy%20cider%20vector.png

Hope you all enjoyed the latest installment, the story is going to be wrapping up here shortly. Special thanks to my Pre-readers and my very special co-writier. Favs, likes, and comments are always really appreciated and I love hearing what you all think. Now if you'll excuse me, a tankard of cider sounds pretty good right about now.

The one where Pinkie and Luna Get Shipped (Part 1)

Sorry that this one was a few days late coming out everypony, real life sadly isn't all technicolor ponies and cupcakes sometimes, though wouldn't it be awesome if it was? Anyways I sincerely hope you all have as much fun reading this as i did writing it. enjoy!

“Things have become more complex with you and Twilight’s little friend in the mix dear sister, but you know me, I never shy away from a challenge.” Celestia whispered as she examined the picture of her sister.
“Hmmmm, perhaps this problem can solve itself. I have two attempting to foil my plans, they would be far less able to do so were they to be preoccupied with each other.” Celestia thought as she lifted up Pinkie Pie’s picture.
“An odd couple to be sure, but if I can make a Griffin fall in love with a Zebra I can surely complete this task.” Celestia thought, then started giggling to herself.

The ground below them lurched forward, stirring Princess Luna from her artificial slumber, the normally perky pink party pony of Ponyville stared intently at her, a little too close for comfort in the darkness.

“What, where- Back Foul Discord! Your disguise does not fool the eyes of Princess Luna, especially not a second time! Thou shall not dye my radiant blue coat pink again with your treacherous magic!” Princess Luna cried out and unleashed a bolt of lightning from her horn.

The bolt of destructive magic ricocheted off the walls of the container flying from one end to the other past the two figures before striking hard against the poor startled princess’s flank. The one hundred thousand volt bolt of lightning coursed through her body, doing only the most superficial of damage to the living goddess. Her beautiful blue coat was darkened to a near black shade, and her incredible astral mane blew out as if it were a globe shaped map of the night sky sitting upon her head. The Princess coughed, a small cloud of smoke erupting from her mouth, and took a closer look at the other figure.

“Wow that was super amazingly spectacular trick! Wanna see what I can do? See I can touch my ear with my tongue!” Pinkie excitedly proclaimed, then proceeded to demonstrate this rather odd talent of hers.
“Thy tongue possesses an incredible amount of dexterity, pray tell who art thou, mysterious Pink Jargogle?” Princess Luna asked, her vision and mind rather blurry from the shocking experience.
“Duh, I’m Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie said with a giggle as she threw a hoof-full of confetti into the air.
“Ah right I remember thou from our celebration, I did not recognize thou without thy barnyard fowl costume. Hast thou come to rescue us from this rather malagrugrous situation?” Princess Luna asked as she lit up the area with her horn.
“Mala-wha? But I heard the word rescue in there, so no, sorry, I’m trapped the same as you! Though I was supposed to bring these. So it’s not ALL bad!” She cried out as she held up an order of cupcakes in a rectangular box.

Princess Luna looked over the cupcakes and then shook her head and decided to see if she could determine where she and Pinkie were. After lighting a lantern she found next to her hoof, it took her only a moment to figure out that the two of them had been shut up inside of some sort of shipping container that was full of various items from the royal palace in Canterlot. All around her was furniture, chests, nick nacks, and random other objects that the castle had sent away to be stored off site. This was no Prison that could hold an Alicorn princess.

“Fear not Pinkie, I shall have us out of this container in no time!” The princess decreed in the Royal Canterlot voice.
“Wait a second didn’t your magic bounce off the side of the-” Pinkie attempted to protest, but the Princess’s horn had already started to glow.

Both of their bodies began to glow, and in a flash of magic the two disappeared, only to reappear a second later, but they were not as they were when they left. Both ponies squealed in surprise as they looked down at themselves, and saw that the spell had not transported them, but instead, altered their bodies. They both shook their heads a bit, still feeling the strange effects of the reflected teleportation spell. They knew something wasn’t right in themselves, a soft tingle all through their bodies signaled something odd had happened. Slowly, the warm and admittedly rather pleasant tingle focused on certain areas, the upper back and the forehead. Exactly where Luna’s wings and horn were...then she realized. Were. They had gone. Panic struck her as she looked around in darkness. She then spotted a faint glow, and Pinkie giggled softly.

“Wheeee!” She giggled “I feel all warm and light! Like I could just lift off or something!” She exclaimed loudly, and Luna heard wings flapping.
“Pinkie...do thou have wings? A...and...and my horn?! Please tell me what I believe happened has not happened!” Luna cried in shock.
“Ooooooohhh I got a horn, and wings! This so super coolie aweso- oh hmmmmm I see the problem.” Pinkie said as she examined her new body in the full length mirror that was in the container with them.
“Thou hast my horn! Thou hast my wings! Thou hast even been given my height and powerful astral mane! I am but an earth Pony now!” Luna cried again and again as she began to hyperventilate.
“Don’t worry princess, as soon as we get out of here we’ll go find Twilight, I’m sure she’ll know exactly what to do!” Pinkie exclaimed, and her wings flared out wide.

A fine layer of dust flew into the air and Pinkie gasped as she felt a powerful sneeze coming on. Luna’s eyes went wide as she realized that she was now in an enclosed magic-proof container with a Pony that had every iota of her powers, and no concept of how to control or contain them. Being only a simple earth pony now, this case was the equivalent of being trapped in a steel box with a bright pink time bomb. She watched, in what seemed like slow motion, as Pinkie Pie sneezed, then shut her eyes tight, fearing what may come of it. She felt herself enveloped in a strange magic she did not recognize, then felt a sensation as if she were inside of a balloon that had suddenly popped. Luna felt over her body from head to tail and discovered no missing body parts, but did notice that now for some reason she was wearing a rather odd outfit. She looked up, and saw Pinkie’s eyes tear up before the Alicorn mare fell to her side giggling like a schoolfilly.

“What art thou chortling about?” Luna asked, fearing that the magical burst had altered her further.
“You look like a clown!” Pinkie squealed as she rolled around on the floor of the container.

Luna turned to look in the full length mirror Pinkie had been standing in front of and saw that she was wearing a comically oversized pair of trousers, a polka dotted white shirt, and saw that her mane had been transformed into a rainbow colored afro. Luna was far less amused at this than Pinkie was, but was pleasantly relieved when she discovered the rainbow afro was only a wig.

“Perhaps we should take stock of our situation, attempt to determine who could have ensnared us in this place, and why.” Luna suggested as she hopped up onto the couch next to Pinkie Pie, nearly losing herself in the pink glowing swirling wonder that was now Pinkie’s mane.
“Well we got an order at sugarcube corner for those cupcakes from somepony in the palace, I thought it might have been your sister apologising for what she tried to do to Twilight and I, but I guess not.” Pinkie explained.
“What could my sister have possibly done to you and her faithful student that would require that she apologize to you?” Luna inquired, already having a fairly good idea of what, but wanting to be sure.
“She tried to use a potion to make me and Twilight fall in love. I’m not really sure why she did it, but that was definitely rude. I thought maybe that letter I sent her telling her to stop, and to fix what she had already done might’ve made her wanna apologize.” Pinkie answered, and Luna’s eyes grew wide again.
“Thou discovered my sister’s plot and foiled it? That is no small feat Pinkie.” Luna asked, genuine surprise and a tone of admiration in her voice.
“You’re not kidding, her plot was so huge it was sticking out of a cloud!” Pinkie quipped with a giggle as she mimed how big Celestia’s plot looked and the two shared a hearty chortle.

Despite her giggling at her sister’s rather voluptuous plot, Princess Luna felt a sharp coldness within her as if a spear of ice had pierced her coat. Her sister had imprisoned her once more, and for only being in the way of her foalish game. This development nearly troubled her to tears, but for some reason she could not discern this bubbly pink pony made her feel despite it all that things were not as bad as they seemed, that she could make it through, and that she shouldn’t give in to despair despite even losing her wings and horn.

“So whatcha think we should do Princess? Try and get both of us all re-combobulated and unmixed up?” Pinkie asked just before burying her face in her new soft downy wings and giggling.
“We will require the aid of a very talented unicorn, you suggested Twilight Sparkle if I remember correctly, we should not attempt to remedy this situation ourselves, lest we alter ourselves further.” Luna logically replied as she watched Pinkie preen her new wings.
“These things are soft but kinda tickly, Princess. Want me to show you?” She didn’t wait for her to respond before tickling the Royal now-earth pony Princess on the nose with the tip of her wing feathers.
“Pinkie I do not require a demonstration of the tickling properties of my wings, although you seem to have grown rather adept at their use.” Luna noted, impressed that the former earth pony was handling her new form so well.
“Thanks Princess, and I know right? It’s like I was supposed to have wings or something!” She exclamed as she flapped them for emphasis.
“What is this? It appears that my tail doth protest to the way this container is shifting so erratically.” Luna said as she watched her tail twitch too and fro just before a lampshade fell from one of the higher boxes, impaling itself on Pinkie’s new horn.
“Oooooh I know what that is, you must have gotten my Pinkie sense when we got all jumbled up!” Pinkie said as she tried to get the punctured lampshade off of her horn.
“Pinkie sense? Pray tell, what might that be?” Luna inquired.
“It’s a bunch of random sensations, tinglies, and spasms that happen sometimes, and can predict what’s going to happen next. Like twitchy tail means something is going to fall on somepony, usually Twilight.” Pinkie explained as Luna listened in awe.
“Thou hast the most peculiar form of clairvoyance I have ever encountered, you are a most interesting pony Pinkie.” Luna said as she studied the pink alicorn laying before her.

The two continued to talk, until their boredom and curiosity hit its peak and they decided to rummage through the other contents of the container in which they were trapped. They discovered that it was actually far bigger than they had initially thought, and that it was the size of a small boxcar for a train. Given its size, and how it leaned and shuddered during the ride, they reasoned that they were being transported to their unknown destination via the Equestrian Railway service. The container was filled not just with furniture, but upon closer inspection of the crates and chests they discovered that it was also full of costumes from the royal theater, and several of the princess’ personal effects. It was about this time that their stomachs began to growl, and the two shared the order of cupcakes who’s delivery had lured Pinkie into this shipping container.

“I thank thee Pinkie, thy generosity rivals that of your friend Rarity.” Luna said with a smile as she finished her third cupcake.
“I’m glad I could make you smile.” Pinkie simply replied, then tried to pick one of the cupcakes up in her newly acquired magic, only to smash it into her face by accident.
“It seems the use of my horn has not come as naturally to you.” Luna noted, then watched as Pinkie licked her own face clean.
“It’s really weird not holding it in my hooves, it’s just... different.” Pinkie said as she attempted to fold the cupcake paper, only to set it on fire.
“Wouldst thou like it if I were to attempt to teach you how to use my powers correctly, so that thou does not accidentally make me resemble a court jester again?” Luna asked, a twinge of fear in her heart as she watched the cupcake paper smolder.
“That would probably be a good idea.” Pinkie replied, as she nodded as fast as she could.
“Then let us begin.” Luna said and pulled a basic spell-book from one of the cabinets that was inside the container with them.

As always everypony I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Favorites and comments are a always greatly appreciated they really help inspire me to keep writing and doing the best I can. ^.^

Special thanks to my prereaders and my special somepony for keepin me going and helping me out with this one.