Honestly, It wasn't for Anything
For a good minute the two, Everpony stood silent, all their eyes focused on the Purple dragon, now play-writer apparently, Nopony was quite sure what to say, Or how they should react. Plays weren't something common around Ponyville. In fact the last time any of them ever remember being in a play, was when they were in school. But could they really complain? Not like there was much else to do anyway so they might as well hear the little guy out.
Twilight optimistic as always, took the initiative and began.
"Spike...I-uh....I-I think It's great that you wrote a play. It's always good to get your creativity up and running. Celestia always said If you have a good idea in your mind, It'll always look better on paper. Right everypony," Twilight said, turning her attention towards everypony behind her, hoping they had found some nice way to respond by now.
Applejack decided to follow Twilight into the conversation and found some response that wouldn't hurt Spike's feelings.
"Uhhh....Yeah, you're right Twi. ya'kno that whole Idea paper and what not you were talking about. Good job Spike, We would all be honored to read your play, right Rainbow," Nudging the cyan mare, signaling to prompt a response.
"Oh! Umm....Yeah...honored. Heh..heh.. Let's see it Spike," Rainbow Dash said.
"Yeah. It can't be all bad, even for your first write." Fluttershy said, trying to add some positive feedback.
"Yeah! It can't be all bad! It must be a really fun play! Is it about dragons like you? Is it about dragons dressed as dragons? Is it about Ponies who dress up Dragons? Oooooh, I can't wait to hear it," Pinkie Pie added.
"Gee... I thought for sure you guys would say it was a dumb thing of me to do and would shoot it down without even giving it a chance. Thanks a lot guys. Well, I won't be selfish, here take a look," Spike said smiling, clearly oblivious to the fact that they all probably did think it was a dumb thing of him to do. He slid the bundle of papers over to them on the other side of the table. They bunched together in order for all of them to read it.
Twilight read the text out loud for them to hear, while everypony else skimmed the words through.
"Spike...It's called, The Magnificient Adventure of Spike the Suave ?" The lavender unicorn asked, perplexed.
"Yeah. It took me about an hour to come up with a title for it. Sounds good right," Spike replied happily.
"Ummm...yeah,"
"Well go on! don't let me hold you up. you can start reading it over."
Twilight began reading out loud the first page of script, occasionally glancing over at Spike, eagerly awaiting her review after she read each page.
"This is the story of a Tough, Cunning, Powerful, and Handsome dragon, but mostly handsome, who vanquished a great evil from the land of Equestria using his bare two claws. And the really awesome Lance he had, And saving Equestria from Eternal chaos, and saving the beautiful, Princess Pristine from the evil clutches of Discor...Err I mean. Disorder!"
Twilight stopped.
"Well uhhh...It sounds good so far! heh heh," She nervously chuckled.
Spike grinned with glee, happy to know his friends admired his work.
Twilight continued her reading.
"This dragons name was Spike, but he wasn't just known as Spike, Oh no. He was Spike...THE SUAVE!
He was known from coast to coast, From Ponyville to Canterlot, as the most toughest and most heroic dragon that was ever born. And when Discor- I mean Disorder awoke from his granite prison, and began to wreak havoc across the land, Princess Celestia chose him as the one to liberate them from the villain's evil clutches!"
Twilight flipped to the next page, after the reading the other predictable lines on the first page, quickly glancing at each of her friends to see if they were still following along with her, or haven't done anything to give away that they didn't like Spike's Play. Or so she thought. They were enthralled by just hearing the first page, How could anypony think this was any good?
"Cmon Twilight! Go to the next page already," Rainbow Dash said eagerly.
"Ah'm itching to see what's next myself Twi," Applejack added.
"It does sound interesting," Fluttershy said in her usual calm tone.
"Go Twilight! Read the next page! I wanna see the ponies dress up the dragons," Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
Twilight sighed and flipped the next page, reading the text once more. This page included lines the Princess Celestia in the story was to say.
"After Spike the Suave ran a hundred miles an hour from Ponyville to Canterlot Castle to search for Princess Celestia, he arrived there in like 10 seconds, And got to talk to the Princess."
"Help us Spike the Suave. You're our only hope. Only you and your smoking hot muscular figure can save us from the wrath of Disorder, and save Princess Pristine! Clearly no pony is manly enough as you are to do this, you clearly work out more than anypony in Equestria and totally deserve to be with Princess Prisitine, and she'll totally marry you when you rescue her."
"Yes, Rescue her I shall, Celestia, I will ride my mighty steed, Sun Streak, through the horrors of the haunted Everfree Forest, all the way to the bottom of Ghastly Gorge, where the fiend resides, And then I'll absolutely beat the living crap out of him, because I'm Spike the Suave, and as it has already been previously established, I'm clearly the greatest warrior in all of Equestria!"
The tacky and Mary-sueish banter and cliche that is Spike's Play continued for about twenty more pages up until the Protagonist and Disorder battle in what is described as "The greatest fight ever in the history of forever, and then some." and as would have probably been guessed, Spike win's and marries the Damsel in Distress. With each page, Twilight began to also fall victim to its allure, despite the overused elements used, she couldn't help but feel eager to read on. Maybe it's just one of those things even someone as smart as her can't explain. Even her friends managed to get into the spirit of it all and were even more excited with each turning page, and mostly the ending.
She swallowed any thought of scolding Spike for ever writing what she first thought as a atrocity to theatre, Any sense of what she had believed to be good Literature, or Playwrites flew out the window today. She donned a smile, faced Spike and Digressed her review.
"It was amazing Spike," she exclaimed.
"Really?" Spike asked, unsure if his mentor was being truthful.
"Yeah! I can honestly say it was a true work of art, a regular masterpiece I can say," Twilight continued, trying her hardest to compliment his work, though over-exaggerating it's actual value.
"Yeah, Spike. I thought it was gonna be lame, but you outdid yourself! I love how awesome you made the hero, he reminds me so much of...Well, me," Rainbow Dash added onto Twilight's claims.
"Ah don't know much bout none of this fancy playwright schmuck, But it was real interesting! Kept me eager for more each page," Applejack said.
"Oh- I like it too... I really like when he puts out the fire on the forest animals home, It was really nice." Fluttershy added.
"Well, there wasn't any dress-up like you said. But the fighting was awesome! It was all Pow! Boom! Bang! Swoosh! And then the bad guys were all "Ahhhh! Ouch! Ooph," Great work Spike! Hee hee," Pinkie Pie exclaimed bouncing up and down.
"Heh. Well, I am glad you all liked it. I was hoping you would, because there's something else I wanted to tell you all. I spoke with Mayor Mare before I got here, and she said that She would lend me Town Square for tonight to do a live performance of my Play. And I want you all to star in it," Spike proposed, hoping his friends would say yes.
For a few seconds, they were awestruck, well excluding Fluttershy, who was a bit surprised, and was unsure if she would be able to help at all with being one of the actors.
"Ah would honored to Spike." Applejack began.
"Heh. Guess I won't be bored anymore after all! Count me in too Spike," Rainbow Dash said.
"Me too! I'm ready to start whenever you are," Pinkie exclaimed.
Twilight pondered to herself while her friends were giving out their answers. Now that she thought about it. Why did Spike write a play to begin with, she had forgotten to ask him when he first came in. contemplating, he also decided to present it to them, while Rarity wasn't with hanging out with them today. Today she was busy, out around Ponyville buying thread she needed to make a dress for a sudden client in Canterlot and was scheduled to have it done by today, before nightfall.
"Spike, I forgot to ask you something when you told us you wrote a play." Twilight began.
"What's that?" Spike responded.
".....Why did you write a play?"
Spike's happy disposition transitioned to a nervous grin and he began to slightly sweat.
"Wha- huh- Wh-what do you mean, Twi," Spike said nervously.
Twilight was perplexed by his response.
"Nothing. I'm just curious why you wrote a play and wanted us to perform in it. Not only that but Rarity isn't here and you still pitched it to us. It all seems a little sudden is all," Twilight proclaimed.
Spike tried to compose himself, but was still having stutter issues, and still nervously smiling.
"Wel- Bu- I mean cmon, Twilight, that doesn't have anything to do with. I mean I booked the town square for today, It's not like I knew that Rarity wasn't gonna be hanging out with you all today," He stated.
"Are you sure? this all seems not like you Spike, to go out your way for something your not really expecting anything from," Twilight continued bombarding the dragon with questions.
"Heh. well- uh- I-I mean cmon, yo- a Dragon needs a reason to write a play now and days? heh heh- umm I- Uh, Well, I think they're done setting up the stage at town square, so I'll see you guys later!"
And with that, Spike scurried off from Sugarcube Corner in a flash, leaving Twilight pondering why he was acting so nervous.
After about twenty minutes or so, the mane six arrived at Town Square to see a crowd of ponies in a commotion, their eyes fixated upon the stage, standing in front of town hall. Everypony was abuzz with questions amongst each other, until the town guard came to dissolve the crowd.
"Alright, Move along everypony! everything will be ready by tonight for the performance. Cmon, cmon, get going." The town guard captain said sternly, but loudly, motioning with his front hoof for the crowd to leave, with which they complied.
After, the mane six saw Spike on stage, along with seven other ponies he was addressing. They got up on stage as well to approach Spike
"Hey, Spike! Well, we came just like you asked," Twilight said to Spike.
"Oh, good! Looks like I was right, The stage had just finished up being set just now, I also managed to make you all a copy of the script." Spike said, giving each pony their own script.
"Uh, Spike. Why does this here script look a little different than the one you showed us at Sugarcube Corner," Applejack asked.
"Oh. Heh heh...See I just made a few edits to the script I showed you guys, but it isn't anything too big," Spike replied.
"Oh, I almost forgot. Lemme introduce you all to your co-stars! They'll be helping us out with the backstage work and music."
Spike said, turning to face the other ponies.
"You all already know Miss. Cheerilee don't you? Well, she is a genius when it comes to Props and Decorations, so she'll be handling that department," Spike said pointing to Miss. Cheerilee.
"Hi girls! Nice to see that I'll be working with familiar faces," Cheerilee said with a smile.
"And over here is Carrot Top. She'll be handling the wardrobe of the play."
"Afternoon gals," The yellow earth pony mare with the carrot orange mane greeted.
"And here we have our two music composers, Vinyl Scratch along with Lyra Heartstrings,"
"Hey, how's it going," Vinyl Scratch, the white unicorn mare with the blue streak mane greeted.
"Hiya!" Lyra replied, the turquoise unicorn mare with the light green, and white mane happily replied.
"And over here is Derpy Hooves, and her temporary associate, Colgate, They'll be doing the Backstage work, Prop placement, lighting, pyrotechnics and such."
"Hey! Hoping We'll all get along just fine," Colgate, the blue unicorn mare with a blue and white mane greeted.
"Hello," Derpy Hooves, the wall-eyed, gray pegasus greeted, fumbling around with the wiring of one the stage lights, before getting tangled up too much and falling over, "Uh oh! Ooph," She exclaimed as she fell to the floor, Colgate looking at her with dismay.
"And lastly, we have our leading lady, Miss. Fleur de Lis."
"Charmed, I'm sure," The white unicorn mare with the flowing glossy, light pink mane greeted.
After all the formalities were accounted for, Spike decided to assign each of his friends their role in the play.
"So who's gonna play the Hero, Spike," Rainbow Dash asked.
"I thought you might make the best fit to play the main character of the story, Rainbow Dash, so naturally, you'll be playing Spike the Suave," Spike answered the cyan mare.
"Fluttershy, I assigned you to play Disorder, if that's fine with you."
The thought of playing the main villain of the story didn't set well with Fluttershy. As her name vaguely implies, she has incredible stage fright.
"Spike, Umm- Do you think I can do a different role," The yellow pegasus asked.
"Hmm...Oh! Now that I think about it, we don't have any of the forest animals for the scene at Everfree Forest, Do you think you can get some of your woodland pals to help out in the play," Spike responded.
"Oh. Of course, I'm sure they wouldn't mind at all," Fluttershy said.
"Great. So then, Pinkie Pie, you'll be playing the Ghost of Everfree Forest. You can handle that can't you?"
"Pshh. Can I ever. Just watch Spike, I'll be the best ghostie-pony thingy you have ever seen," Pinkie Pie said reassuringly
"And for Applejack, I got a really special position for you."
"Aw shucks, Spike, you don't have to get all flatter-"
"You'll be playing Sun Streak!"
Applejack remembered what role Sun Streak was. The 'steed' that Spike the Suave rode into battle with.
"Wait. How is that a special role, Spike?" Applejack demanded to know.
"What do you mean? You're second to none when it comes to character importance," Spike reassured the orange mare.
"That would've sounded nicer if it weren't only six actors in this play. But that ain't what bothers me about."
"Then what is it?"
"Well, because! ya'kno, Ah have to...Well," Applejack said, trying to avoid the point.
" "Well" what?" Spike asked.
"Yeah, Applejack, what's wrong with being the steed," Rainbow Dash added.
"Grrr...Fine! I'll do it, but I won't like it." Applejack said, disgruntled.
"Okay then...That just leaves you then Twilight! Since all the other roles are taken, and Fluttershy is reassigned..."
"Then I have to play the villain right," Twilight said, completing Spike's statement.
"You guessed it. Don't worry I'm sure you'll do fine."
"I don't know Spike, are you sure there's no other role for me to play?"
Before Spike could answer, Rainbow Dash started laughing at the mere thought of someone like Twilight playing a epic villain in a play, It was just hilarious to them. But to Twilight she was kind of offended.
"What's so funny," Twilight demanded to know.
"Bahaha! Oh, uhhh...Nothing..hehe.. Twilight. I'm sure you'll make a great vill-bahaha," Rainbow Dash exclaimed, trying to keep herself from bursting out into laughter, but to no avail.
"Heh heh... Boy oh boy, Twi. Are you sure you don't wanna play a different role, like Spike the Suave's secretary? Ahaha," Applejack said mockingly, joining Rainbow Dash in the hilarity.
"Hee hee. Twilight, maybe you should play a different role, maybe you can be the Haunted Book in the Everfree Forest! Pahaha," Pinkie Pie said, with the ocassional snort in between her laughter.
It began to agitate Twilight how much her friends believed she could never pull off the role of being a Villain. But she did have some doubt about it herself, the role didn't quite fit her persona. Disorder was portrayed as a very unorganized and messy kind of villain, a polar opposite from herself, but that was the beauty of being an actor. To portray something you aren't. It was motivation enough for her to prove her friends wrong.
"You know what Spike, forget I asked. I'm gonna be the best villain you all have ever seen just you watch!"
Daylight was burning, and Nightfall drew closer, but Spike was confident everything and everypony would be ready before the big night, but he also had some matters he had to attend to before the play could begin, but that had to wait, He had to make sure everypony was fine and could manage long enough on their own before he could leave.
"Alright everypony, Let's start rehearsal with Scene IV Act I," Spike shouted to the actors on the stage, Rainbow Dash and a very tacky makeshift, cardboard cutout of what was supposed to be Princess Celestia and the background setting painted to Look like the throne room of Canterlot Castle.
"Great work with the setting Cheerilee. And that Celestia is so believable, If I didn't know any better I would have thought it was the princess herself," Spike assured Cheerilee, Clearly over-exaggerating the quality of her work.
"Oh thanks Spike, I do most of the artwork for the filly school plays so I'm kind of used to this." Cheerilee responded.
Rainbow Dash began the scene and approached the cutout from the right side of the stage, trying to best to bring her voice down to a low to give off a better impression.
"Ahem. Oh Dear Princess Celestia, Why have you called my devilishly handsome good looks and studly physique to your fair castle?"
Since the cutout could not speak itself, and Spike had originally intended for the real Princess Celestia to take part in the play, but said she was far too busy to attend, He had enlisted Carrot Top to also be the Princess' voice actor, hiding behind the crude cutout and only revealing a voice.
"Oh, Spike the Suave, I've called you here because Equestria is in dire need of a hero. Disorder has broken free from his prison, and is wreaking havoc, I would stop him myself, but for some unexplained reason, I will not, and instead will sit here, eagerly awaiting your arrival back for after you have defeated him!"
" Tis a reason must logical, fair Princess! I shall not let you done! I will ride to the depth's of Ghastly Gorge, where the beast resides, and smite him with my Mighty Lance, and thoroughly pummel him to a pile of crap with my rock hard muscular bare arms, As you can clearly see, from the fact that I am wearing no tunic to hide my rocking Abs."
Any of the lines Rainbow Dash said really didn't seem to bother her, but I suppose it was to be expected since she is used to being a show-off.
"Ah, yes, I can clearly see thou rock hard abs of manliness. If I were not a princess, I would so totally make out with you, because you're just that alluring!"
"Save your lips princess, for I have a love already, the fairest Princess Pristine, being held this instant by the fiend Disorder, but fear not, for I will rescue her. Come Sun Streak! We ride into the fray!"
Applejack was in the background, without any lines, with a saddle mounted on her back.
"Neighhhh...." She said without any effort, clearly unconvincing.
As the scene ended, a seemingly unsafe stage light hanging above, as you might have guessed, Plummeted to the stage floor, crashing loudly, and almost landing on Rainbow Dash, who just barely moved out of the way.
"Whoa! Hey what gives," Rainbow Dash demanded.
Looking up they saw the culprit. It was Derpy. She had accidentally lost her grip on the stage light, and unintentionally dropped it onto the stage.
"Sorry everypony, I wanted to clap, because you all performed the scene so good, but I forgot I was holding the stage light. hee hee, My bad," Derpy said innocently, remorseful of her mistake.
Spike could only facepalm from the mistake, but It wasn't something major that couldn't be worked out. He had faith in his volunteer's that they would improve enough by the time of the live performance, But perhaps he spoke too soon, A stray firework flew straight towards Spike, almost hitting him straight in the face had he not ducked in time. It flew by and exploded into the air.
Colgate was by the side of the stage, where the firework had been fired.
"Heh heh, Sorry Spike, Just a haywire firework. No big deal. Heh, At least I didn't drop a stage light, right?"
"Hey! I said I was sorry about that! You don't have to keep bringing it up," Derpy said, upset.
"Oh, yeah right, It had nothing to do with how you can't see straight to save your life," Colgate backlashed.
"That's personal, I ought to wing-slap you," Derpy responded angrily.
"Okay, look! I'm right here," Spike gestured his claw in a measuring position, and lowered it to his belly.
"Right now, You all made my temper go up to here, Now that I made that clear, I'm hoping it doesn't have to go any further, alright?"
Everpony on stage looked to see where Spike's current temper was, then completely disregarded it, going back to their business. While Colgate and Derpy continued arguing amongst each other, Spike decided to get away from them until they simmered down, and went to go check up on Lyra and Vinyl.
"Okay, Pinkie Pie, you can start rehearsing your scenes, I'll go check on our music department."
Spike went to where Vinyl and Lyra were setting up their music area.
"How you both holding up here?"
"Well, I got my DJ station set up, so I'm fine." Vinyl responded.
"And I got my Lyre!"
Spike noticed something wrong about the turquoise unicorn's instrument.
"Uh, Lyra, It's missing a string."
"It's missing one cause she decided to floss her teeth with it," Vinyl answered Spike, annoyed by her partner's irresponsibility.
"Hey! It's not my fault! Daisy leaf sandwiches leave a lot of itself stuck between your teeth! It's unclean having that, So I gotta clean 'em with something," Lyra told Vinyl, defending her decision.
"You shouldn't be eating anyway! We got to rehearse our numbers for the play!" Vinyl responded, becoming more agitated.
"Oh, lighten up Miss. Disk Jockey! relax, we'll have those songs down by tonight," The green unicorn said to her partner.
"Look at this cutie mark, pal, I take my life's calling seriously, maybe you should start to as well! Or is it just taped on there, to make yourself look useful," Vinyl added sarcastically.
"What?! I ought to rip you a new one for Calling me a blank flank!" Lyra lashed back.
"At least a blank flank would be more useful than you." Vinyl scoffed.
"And somepony who doesn't spin disks for a living would have a better sense of humor," Lyra began.
"You got some nerve saying I don't have a sense of humor! I got the class clown award back in filly school!"
"Oh, wow! What a accomplishment. Ha! my flank, What did you do? Play them one of your songs?!"
Spike made the same measuring notion with his claw as before to symbolize his temper, only this time, it was raised higher up to around his chest area. Vinyl and Lyra stopped their arguing for a moment to look at Spike.
"I'm right here now. Please don't make me go any higher. for everypony's sake."
Lyra and Vinyl pondered it for a good second or two and then began their arguing once more.The same fate befell the music duo as did to the backstage work. Mindlessly bickering back and forth, with no progress being made, and what would probably continue for about an hour or so, But Spike was determined to believe that this rag-tag team can pull themselves together before the big show, Or at least he was determined to remain under the delusion that they would. Managing to worm his way away from them, he thought he'd check on Carrot Top next. Since she was working alone, Spike was confident there would be no problems, or at least no pointless arguments to get stuck in between.
He found carrot top Backstage in the dressing room, working on the Hero's wardrobe and prop lance.
"Everything okay here Carrot Top?"
"Yup, everything is just about done, I've finished the armor that Spike and Disorder will be wearing, and almost done with the finishing touches on the lance."
"Great may I see it?"
"Sure thing Spike."
As Carrot Top had said, she had outdone herself, the shining armor Spike the Suave was to wear in their final confrontation were top-notch, almost as Spike had described them. A shining golden colored Breastplate, silver, thick kneebraces, a marvelous white cape, and a Gold feathered crown, all perfectly fit for Rainbow Dash's size.
For Twilight, She had prepared what required less work, a ragged eyepatch to be worn on her left eye, A brass breastplate and a tattered brown cape. Despite the description of the Twilight's wardrobe, the quality was still great.
"Wow you really outdid yourself, Carrot Top! Didn't think you had it in you to be honest. heh."
"I'm flattered. Would you like to see the Lance? It's not finished yet but I can give you a sneak peek."
"Sure thing, with the quality of the wardrobe you've already dished out, I don't doubt you."
Carrot Top went to the upright standing item in the room, covered in a large black drape, and unveiled it.
Spike was excited to see how she put her work to the lance. But his Anticipation, quickly turned to Dismay, when he set his eye's upon the view.
"Well, what do ya think?"
Spike was flabbergasted. Why would she possibly think this was what he would've wanted for her to design as the Hero's weapon.
"Ummm...."
"Is something wrong, Spike?"
What it was he fixed his eyes upon was ridiculous. The 'Mighty' lance that the hero was supposed to wield was nothing like what Carrot Top had designed. Instead of a Lance, It was a large orange paper-mache carrot for the lance, with a green handle, It looked absolutely silly for "The greatest hero in all of Equestria" to wield as his weapon.
"Uh, Carrot Top...Yo- You know his weapon isn't a carrot, right?"
"Oh. Well at first I was going to make it the way you had requested, but this just came to me! It urged me to reshape his weapon into my Image!"
"....It urged you to turn his weapon into a vegetable?"
"Of course! The mighty carrot lance from none other than Carrot Top!"
"...I'm really sorry Carrot Top, but you're gonna have to redo it, like I requested. Not to be mean, but the thought of him wielding a giant vegetable... is a little silly."
"Can I keep the carrot?"
"...I...Guess..."
"Yes! I'll get right on it!"
"Oh and after that all that's left is to make Pinkie Pie's ghost costume. Don't let me down Carrot Top, I know you can do it!"
"You got it Spike!"
Spike was assured that Carrot Top had what she needed to do covered, and could depend on her to pull through. Unlike the other volunteers for the play, He didn't have to be delusional about her being useful.
"Let's see. Now I got to check on Fluttershy, and see If she managed to get any of her animal friends to help."
Fluttershy was on the opposite side off the stage where Vinyl and Lyra had established their post, talking to some woodland creatures.
"Hey Fluttershy! Did you manage to find any helpers?"
"Oh yes Spike, There's not many of them that wanted to, but these little guys were just eager to be in a play."
Fluttershy's recruits were two squirrels, a bear cub, and a bird.
"It's good enough, thanks a lot Fluttershy. So it's safe to assume, you're all set up for the performance. That's a relief."
There was one last thing Spike had to check up on, the leading lady of course. He scurried off to her dressing room backstage, and knocked on the door.
"Fleur are you in there?"
"Just one moment darling."
After a few seconds, Fleur unlocked the door.
"You can come in now."
Spike entered the dressing room. It was a rather simple room, with just a mirror, a small loveseat, and a bathroom, with just the toilet and a sink.
"Fleur, I just dropped by to see If you're ready."
"As I'll ever be, dear. Was there something else you wanted to ask?"
"No, I don't think so...Least I can't remember."
"Oh, darling, you are so oblivious, You forgot to ask me about the delivery."
"Huh? Oh yeah! Did it make it?"
"It certainly has, It is quite a beauty I must add."
"Well, I'm trying to pull out all the stops here, but I don't think that's what the end result is."
"We can only hope dear, Now if you'll excuse me I'd like to finish up my make-up application."
"Sure thing. Now that I checked everything off what I needed to, I can go finish up what I need to do before we can begin, I just hope it's the right-"
Knock, Knock, Knock. Repeating on the door to the dressing room.
"Spike, Ah got something Ah need to talk to you about."
"Okay, I'll be right out."
Spike exited the dressing room to see who it was. It was Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash looked amused with whatever the matter was, but Applejack looked kind of upset.
"What's the matter?"
"Umm...Well Spike, You remember earlier when you gave us our roles," Applejack started.
"Yes, why?"
"Well ummm...Do you remember how Ah said being second most important wasn't what bothered me...How it was something else..."
"I remember that you said it bothered you, but you weren't really clear why it did."
"Oh, well, Ah thought you'd understand but...well...ya'kno that one scene at that one act..."
"I don't follow you Applejack..."
Rainbow Dash interrupted.
"Oh just say it Applejack. She's doesn't want to be Sun Streak because she doesn't wanna lick me!"
"Rainbow!"
"Lick you? wha- Oh! The scene where Spike is unconscious and Sun Streak wakes him up by licking him?"
"Yeah, that's the one."
"What about it?"
"Well...I thought you'd get what I mean. I mean you know Rainbow Dash is playing Spike in the play, and I'm playing Sun Streak....And Sun Streak wakes up Spike by licking him and...."
" "And" what Applejack?"
"Just cut to the chase Applejack," Rainbow Dash interrupted once more.
"Ah don't feel comfortable doing that to Rainbow Dash!"
"......Why not," Spike asked, genuinely confused.
"Because...It's Rainbow Dash. And I'm supposed to lick her..."
"But It's not Rainbow Dash. It's Spike the Suave."
"Yes...But it's Rainbow playing Spike the Suave...Ah'm just saying I don't want to lick her...It's kind of....Akward."
"But it's part of the act. Why would it be akward? You're not doing it for no reason are you?"
"Well, No. But still...Think about it Spike...I'm licking my friend..."
"You're licking your friend because it's part of the act though."
"Ah know that but still....It's kind of...something friends don't do to each other...Unless they're..."
" "Unless theyre", what?"
"Ugh! Unless they're itching to get intimate!"
"What the?!? Gross Applejack! Why would you even think of it like that? It's nothing like that it's just part of the scene! Cmon, get your head out of the gutter," Spike said, revolted by the thought.
"Ah'm not thinking of it like that! But I don't everypony else to think of it like that!"
"Bahaha. Oh, this is too rich. you are priceless Applejack," Rainbow Dash scoffed.
Spike did the measuring motion with his claw again, this time reaching to the top of his head. Rainbow Dash and Applejack looked with confusion.
"Now I'm at the top! Because you had to bring up this pointless smut. When I'm at the top, I get physical. Like Slap your face so hard your face will fly off physical. I really don't wanna do that, so please just go get ready for the opening night." Spike delcared, marching off.
"This accomplished nothing, didn't it?" Applejack asked Rainbow Dash.
"Yeah, pretty much." She responded.
"Ah knew that would happen."
Meanwhile.
"Ah, what a day. I've finally managed to do everything I needed to do on my list. I bought the cloth and threads I needed to make the dress my client requested, spent hours creating it, and on top of that, It was a rather odd way of exchanging my pay with it. Celestia knows what a colt like my client would need with that dress. I must say, It was a rather dazzling piece, I'm surprised at myself for even making something so beautiful. Oh, well no sense lingering on it for long... What's done is done, besides I'm exhausted, and It's getting late, I suppose I'll head home and make sure Sweetie Belle hasn't burned down the boutique."
Walking down the market square of Ponyville, The Sun was beginning to set. Rarity could not wait to get home and get some sleep from here long day of work, she was a bit dissapointed that she didn't get to socialize with her friends today, but There always tomorrow she thought. While nearing a cart that was placed in the market square, Spiked suddenly popped out from behind the cart, startling Rarity.
"Hi Rarity!" Spike shouted, jumping out from behind the cart.
"Ahh! Spike! Sweet Celestia you scared the daylights out of me! What are you doing, sneaking up on me like that! I almost had a heart attack! Are you following me again?" Rarity said surprised.
"Me? Oh no no, I just thought I'd drop by." Spike said, sarcastically.
"How can you drop by? I'm not anywhere in particular. I told you to stop stalking me! I really don't want to file the restraining order Spike. Twilight won't like it." Rarity questioned.
"Oh no Rarity, there's no need to file anything. I just thought I'd come to tell you something." Spike proclaimed.
"If it's another one of your dreaded love songs, I'm going to walk away." Rarity said.
"No, it's none of that, You know, I just thought I'd find you so I ca-"
"I have pepper spray Spike..." Rarity threatened.
"Okay, Okay! Just listen. I made a play and all of our friends are performing in it tonight, And I really want you to-"
Rarity began to walk away from Spike, clearly uninterested in what Spike offered.
"No wait! I really put a lot of work into it and I want you to-"
"Sorry No, I'm very tired Spike," Rarity insisted trying to continue walking, but Spike blocking her path.
"Cmon, you can jus-"
"I said no! Do I need to use the pepper spr-"
"Okay! Okay! Just listen, listen, listen. Let's make a deal..." Spike proposed, piking Rarity's interest.
"A deal," She scoffed.
"Yes! Okay, you know how I always come by your boutique around the afternoon, to hit on you?" Spike said.
"Unfortunately, Yes I do. what about it?" Rarity questioned.
"Alright, Here's the deal. If you come watch the play, All the way to the end! I'll stop coming by the boutique to harass you every afternoon." Spike proposed.
"You're serious?" Rarity scoffed.
"As serious as a manticore attack." Spike said reassuringly.
Rarity thought about the decision for a while. On one hoof, She'd get Spike to stop sexually harassing her everyday when Twilight wasn't around. But on the other, She'd have to sit through an awful play until the end of it, and who knew how long it would be. She decided she just might take that chance.
"Very well then Spike. You have a deal."
"Yes! Head to town square, the show will be starting in a while! You won't be sorry, I promise!"
"I'm afraid I already am." Rarity said, as she began walking towards town square.
Spike was pleased he had managed to convince Rarity into attending his play. Perhaps this was the reason why he wrote it. But maybe it's more than just wanting his crush to watch a tacky play.
"Good! I sealed the deal, Now just one last thing I need to pick up and I can head back to supervise the play!"
The time was here, Opening Night was coming closer, Though in hindsight, Opening Night was also on the same day preparations were being made. The moon shined down upon Ponyville and The crowd began to assemble around the stage, In a commotion, and eagerly awaiting the play to begin. One spot in the front of the audience was reserved with a paper on the ground that read.
Reserved
V.I.P
Very Important Pony
Spike decided to check on all of his Off-stage hooves first, before asking all the actors if they were ready to begin. He started with Vinyl and Lyra at their sound station. They were quietly bickering to each other still, but seemed to show some composure, and looked like they managed to get down the basics of the music they were required to play. Spike approached the duo.
"Hey guys, Did you manage to work things out," Spike asked.
"Yeah. We'll at least for now that is..." Vinyl responded, shifting her attention from Spike and back to a glare at Lyra who was eating a large daisy leaf sub sandwich.
"Mmmm..." She hummed to herself. savoring the taste of the meal, before noticing Spike was awaiting an answer, and took a hard gulp, quickly swallowing the bit of sandwich she was eating.
"Heh, Heh. Yeah, What disk jockey said! Ready as we'll ever be! Look! I even got a new string for my Lyre," Lyra assured Spike, putting down her plate holding her sandwich on the floor, and picking up her Lyre with all strings put into place and tuned.
"And how about that 'extra' piece I asked you two to learn?" Spike said.
Both mares replied at the same time with a assuring.
"Sure did!" somewhat agitating each other.
"Alright then. I'll leave the rest up to you two!" Spike said, confident that they were prepared for the play.
Next he decided to ask Cheerilee if she had finished up painting and creating all the scenery and props needed for each act. She was backstage
"Hey Miss. Cheerilee! Have you finished up all the scenery and the props we'll need?" Spike asked.
"Oh. You bet Spike, took me a while but I just finished the background for the last scene." She responded.
"And what about that 'extra' thing I told you about?" Spike asked, raising an eyebrow to the mare.
"Oh! Yeah I finished that up too! I was wondering If you were gonna need that for the ending," Cheerilee smiled.
"Alright then, Looks like you got everything covered!" Spike replied, happy of her progress.
Next was to check on the klutzy duo of Derpy and Colgate. They were both on the right side of the stage. Derpy was flying above fixing the positioning of the stage lights on the rafters, and holding a light bulb with her teeth. Colgate was sitting her haunches messing around with the cluster launcher for the fireworks on the stage floor. Spike approached the duo.
"How are you two holding up?" Spike asked the pair.
"Just fine Spike, don't worry, we'll have this down by the time that curtain opens up," Colgate assured the purple dragon, slapping her hoof, intending it to hit her other hoof, had it not been holding the cluster launcher. She ended up hitting the cluster launcher, which caused to shoot a small firework out. It flew all the way to the left side of the stage, and burst into the air. Spike was startled.
"Oops," Colgate said quietly.
"Oh no," He yelped.
"Relax Spike! It was just a skyrocket firework, nothing to get your scales in a bunch over, Like I said before I can handle this!"
"Yeah we can handle it!" Derpy said, forgetful that she was holding a light bulb with her teeth, which now plummeted to it's destruction. It would have landed right on Spike's head if he hadn't moved an inch to the side.
"Woops. My bad," Derpy said, apologetically.
"Now Derpy on the other hoof...I'm not so sure of." Colgate replied to the situation.
"You're never sure of anything, toothpaste mane!" Derpy lashed.
"Least I can see straight!" Colgate insulted.
Spike decided to just back away and hoped that they were right when they said they can handle it. After that he was sure he had checked on everything and decided to see if all his actors were ready to go on stage, and begin the play. Backstage the actors were abuzz. Feelings of Anxiety, Anticipation, And Excitement, filled the air, The mane six were eager to begin the play, and to show everyone how good of a play they can perform. Spike arrived to make sure everypony was present and accounted for and that included the one pony he was doing this for. Rarity. He peeked his head outside the curtain to see if she was at her spot. Fortunately, there she was, in the front row in the crowd, awaiting the play to begin, thought it can be said she didn't exactly have a look of excitement on her like the rest of the audience. More like an Apathetic type of expression.
"Okay! She's here! we can get started!"
Spike's last duty was to check up on his actors first, to see if they were ready, physically and mentally to begin the play. He approached them all backstage.
"Places everypony, gather around," Spike shouted, motioning with his claw for them to come to him.
Rainbow Dash was dressed in her character's wardrobe with the now correctly made lance, excluding the breastplate and crown she was to wear during her final battle scene with Twilight Sparkle's character in the play. Applejack was also ready, with not much of a wardrobe, only a saddle.
Fluttershy was on the opposite side backstage, giving what she can even attempt to call, a pep talk to her animal recruits, telling them to do the best they can in the play. And Twilight was dressed in her character's entire wardrobe, even though she would only be appearing in the last scene, along with Fleur, she felt the need to get ready early. She felt more ready than ever to give it her all to give off the best Villain portrayal she can do. Pinkie Pie was also ready, bouncing up and down in anticipation. Fleur was also outside her dressing room, and the only time she ever is, is when she's ready.
"Alright everypony, are you all ready to give Ponyville the best play they ever saw," Spike said enthusiastically.
"You bet! They wont know what hit 'em when I get on stage," Rainbow Dash responded, confidentally.
"Ah guess it's now or never," Applejack said.
"It's your call darling. Besides I go on stage rather late anyways, so I can always tidy myself up again If I need to" Fleur assured.
"Well I'm ready. I'm ready to prove to all of Ponyville and especially to you guys that I can be a good Villain!" Twilight responded sternly, confident that she would live up to her words.
"Ummm...Twi, Ya'kno that your only scene is the ending right?" Applejack questioned.
"Don't spoil it for me, Applejack! I got some tricks up my sleeve if I need them to make my performance even better," Twilight declared.
"I still can't see you as the villain Twilight, but it is a little late now for second guesses." Rainbow Dash added.
"Yup! I'm ready too Spike, I can't wait to go on stage, I've been practicing my ghostie noises all day," Pinkie Pie exclaimed. But something was amiss with Pinkie Pie, But Spike couldn't quite put his claw on it. What was it.
Realization of the problem struck him like a slap to his face.
"Pinkie Pie! You're naked!" Spike shouted.
"Huh? Well of course I'm naked silly! most ponies don't wear clothes and I'm one of them, I never really asked myself why bu-"
"No I mean. Where's your wardrobe?!" Spike, interrupting Pinkie Pie, demanded to know.
"Oh! Carrot Top hasn't given me mine yet, but she did say it was ready! Didn't you ask her for it when you were checking up on everypony?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"I....Oh horseapples! I knew I forgot to check on someone! The play needs to get Started already! The crowd is getting impatient! We can't keep them waiting any longer," Spike nervously rambled.
"Don't worry Spike, I'll get everything started while you go fetch Pinkie's costume from Carrot Top," Twilight assured Spike.
"Alright thanks Twilight. for a second there I thought the show was doomed. I'll go check on Carrot Top! Just wait here Pinkie."
"Okie Dokie!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
Spike nodded at Twilight, and ran off to the wardrobe room of the stage.
"Alright everypony! Get in place the show is about to begin! Derpy, bring the light's down! Colgate, once she's done that, I'll give you the cue to open curtain."
"Got it," Colgate responded.
"You can count on me," Derpy replied.
"Miss. Cheerilee, I don't think Carrot Top will make it in time for the opening sequence. Do you think you can voice Princess Celestia and the other minor characters?" Twilight asked.
"Oh! uh- It's a little sudden, but I'm sure I can get the lines down before the scene," Cheerilee replied.
"Good. Alright then everypony! Let's do this!"
The crowd was still in a commotion amongst themselves, chatter scattered all around the crowd. Derpy brought the lights on-stage down to a almost pitch-black. The crowd fell silent.
"Ladies and Gentlecolts! Thank you all for attending our performance. I'm sure you're all very eager to get started. It is without further ado that we present you."
The Magnificent Adventure of Spike the Suave
Twilight motioned with her hoof towards Colgate, cueing her to open the curtain, as everypony and the props were all set up. She began tugging on the rope with her front hooves, opening the large curtain, sheltering the scene, and now revealing it. The first opening sequence had only Rainbow Dash, and Applejack walking along side her. The background was a crude painting of Ponyville. the buildings and such were rather crooked. and the time was meant to be around the night, since there was the moon painted in the dark sky. Derpy had turned the stage lights back up to a brighter tone, allowing the audience to better see the stage. Vinyl and Lyra began playing, setting a dreary background music tone to add emphasis to the scene. Rainbow Dash and Applejack entered stage right.
"Hark, Sun Streak! We have reached Ponyville! Now we can do whatever it was we came here to do."
"Ahem. Neighhh..."
"But what was it we came to do, I had forgotten, but that is a price of being such a great hero as I am."
"Neighhh..."
"Oh yes, that's right Sun Streak. We came to see Princess Celestia, but it seems she's nowhere to be found in this little town. Perhaps that cowering citizen over there," Rainbow Dash pointed to the crude cardboard cutout of a blue colt, in a cradling position, Cheerilee was hidden behind it, so that she would not be seen by the crowd.
"Hello citizen! Do you know where we can find the fair Princess Celestia?"
Cheerilee donned a low voice to impersonate a male voice.
"Um. Ahem. Oh woe is us! Oh sob, oh cry!"
"What has you troubled, pathetic sobbing colt?"
"Oh the horror! It is too much for us to bear. The princess will tell you all! She resides at Canterlot Castle...Which is in Canterlot...That isn't here!"
"Neigh?"
"Yes fair steed! Neigh this is not Canterlot! Oh Spike the Suave! Please seek audience with her, and save us from our fate!"
"I shall do as you ask, random citizen of Ponyville, even though what you asked is indifferent to what my objective was before I even met you! Come Sun Streak we ride on to Canterlot!" Rainbow Dash said, hopping on Applejack's back.
"Neig-Oooph!" Applejack grunted.
"Onward fair steed!"
"You're getting a kick out of this ain't you, Rainbow," Applejack said hushed to herself, while Rainbow could only grin at the scenario.
The curtain then closed, signaling that the end of the first scene had ended. The crowd was abuzz once more for a few minutes until the curtain opened once more revealing a new scene. This time the background was painted to look like the throne room of Canterlot Castle, The music changed in tone to a more royal kind of feel, and once more Cheerilee hid behind another cardboard cutout. This one made to look like Princess Celestia, or at least show some resemblance.
"Good evening my Princess, We have been told by a completely unreliable source to come here, and to ask how we may assist in ridding Equestria's citizens of it's woe," Rainbow Dash began.
"Neigh..."
"Yes, It is true. I have been here in my castle for days, Idle, doing nothing progressive at all to end my ponies' suffering. But you and your awesome physique have come to save us and to rescue the lovely Princess Pristine," Cheerilee said, with the best impression of Princess Celestia she could give.
"Yes my princess, It is true that I am the strongest and greatest dragon to ever live in the history of history. And it is clear it is true by my sheer aura of awesomeness I give off just being near anypony."
"Neigh."
"Sun Streak! How can you be so insensitive to disagree!?"
"Neigh! Neigh neigh."
"Oh I see, Good observation. My princess! Sun Streak has informed me that I must skip the gloating."
While the Dialogue that had already been established before in that scene was going on, Spike hurried to the wardrobe room before that scene was over and the one in Everfree Forest was to begin. He entered the wardrobe room but didn't see Carrot Top in there.
"Carrot Top! Carrot Top, are you in here," Spike frantically asked.
Carrot Top, came in moments later. Spike saw her and approached her.
"Carrot Top! I'm glad I caught you, Where were you," Spike said.
"I had to use the bathroom. You see I had a bad case of- You know what nevermind that. Was there something you needed Spike?"
"Yes! Pinkie doesn't have her outfit for her scene in Everfree Forest!"
"Hmm...Oh! That's right. I forgot to give it to her! Oh, no worries Spike, I have it right here."
Carrot Top walked to an oddly shaped Item, draped in a black cover. Spike was just pleased that she hadn't forgotten to make it, otherwise the show would have been a bust. Carrot Top unveiled the drape to show it. And as before, Perhaps Spike thought too soon.
"Wh-what is that..."
"What do you mean? It's the costume you asked for Spike. This one was a bit more difficult than the rest but I managed to get it just right for Pinkie's size."
"No! I mean what is it?! This isn't what I wanted!"
"What? Of course it is Spike. You said to make the 'Toast' costume for Pinkie Pie, didn't you?"
Spike facepalmed at what he heard. Clearly Carrot Top had misinterpreted what she heard Spike tell her. In place of the ghost costume he had asked her to make, It was a costume made to look like a giant piece of toast. It had six holes. Four that would fit Pinkie's legs, One for her head, and One that allowed to slip it on and would also server as a hole for her tail. In back of the neck hole, the upper portion of the bread was sown, with a yellow patch put in the middle of it to look like the spick of butter.
"Carrot Top... I said 'ghost' costume, Not 'toast'!"
"Oh my. I'm really sorry Spike, I guess I didn't hear what you said correctly, I could have sworn you said "be sure to finish Pinkie's toast costume," So I started working on it."
"Okay. Not only that but why is it orange bread?"
"Well, I just thought I'd add my own touch to the costume, I'm sure it's nothing that'll make too much of an impact Spike."
"It already will! The script says the Ghost of Everfree Forest! Not the Toast of Everfree Forest! And not only that, but how does an orange piece of toast makes sense at all!?"
"...Yes."
"Ugh," Spike grunted.
"Well, Spike I don't think I have much time to make the ghost costume, since the scene is almost going to start."
Spike realized that he had completely forgotten about the play still going on.
"Agh! You're right, we don't have any time! Pinkie's scene is almost coming up. Ugh! It'll have to do I guess. I'll hurry up and get this to Pinkie."
Spike grabbed the costume, and scurried off to the other side of the stage where Pinkie Pie was eagerly awaiting to begin her scene.
"Hi Spike! Did you get my costume," Pinkie Pie asked.
Spike panted and regained his composure.
"Yeah. It's right here." He said.
"Huh? I thought you said I was gonna be a ghostie. This looks more like a piece of toast," Pinkie questioned.
"Well, about that. Carrot Top got confused with what I asked her to make, and she made this instead. It's no big deal, just umm...Improvise!"
"Improvise? Hmmm.....Sure! I can do that," Pinkie Pie smiled.
The scene on-stage has changed since previously, and is now during Spike the Suave's journey through Everfree Forest.
"Oh Sun Streak, Have no fear for I will lead us through this forsaken forest, and to the pit of Ghastly Gorge where the fiend, Disorder resides!"
"Neigh..."
"Oh but what is this?! A fire burning in the woods!"
"Neigh?"
Derpy moved the Spotlight to the left side of the stage, shining it on the props that were there. A few cardboard cutout trees, to look like they were on fire, and a cardboard cutout fire in the middle of them all. Vinyl and Lyra had changed the tone of the music to a suspenseful and spooky tone to suit the haunted forest scene better. The woodland animals Fluttershy recruited had their debut, which was to just stand there and grasp their heads with their paws, panic and run around in circles.
"Fear not, my woodland friends! I will rescue you! I shall summon water from the sky, because evidentally, I am capable of performing such a feat."
Derpy was flying above stage with a bucket of water. After Rainbow Dash's line, it was her cue to drop the water on the fake fire. Though Derpy, not having the best Eye sight, dumped it too soon and it landed all over Rainbow Dash, soaking her.
"Oops. Sorry Rainbow Dash!" Derpy said, forgetful that the play was still in progress.
"Ha, klutzy as ever," Colgate scoffed, also forgetting that the play was in progress.
"Heh heh heh...Uh. I mean...Neigh," Applejack said, laughing at Rainbow Dash's misfortune, before going back into character.
"Okay, Let me try that again. With water I shall summon from the sky," Rainbow Dash improvised.
Derpy had already retrieved another bucket of water, and this time managed to drop it in the correct place, making the cardboard cutouts get soggy and unbecoming. But it was all part of the act.
"Aha! There! I have done it. No need to thank me, Now I must- ugh!"
Derpy lost her hold on the bucket and dropped it on Rainbow Dash's head, knocking her unconscious. She quickly flew down to grab the bucket, giving a nervous chuckle to the confused and silent audience and flying back off-stage.
Originally, Rainbow Dash was supposed to be knocked unconscious when one of the fake trees falls on her character. Now it was up to Applejack to Improvise.
"Uhhh...Oh No! Spike the Suave has been knocked unconscious! Ah guess Ah better try to wake her up!"
The audience was confused. Sun Streak was not supposed to have a speaking role, but it was clear as day right there. Spike watched in horror, at the awful show his play had become, Twitching his eye in frustration.
"I'm going to slap all of their faces right off," He whispered silently to himself.
While Applejack was hesitating to start her next part of the script and lick Rainbow Dash to wake her up, but the rainbow mare already began to awake from her small coma experience.
"Oohhh," She groaned quietly.
"Shhhh. Rainbow, you have to pretend you're unconscious so my character can wake you up, remember," Applejack whispered in her ear.
"Oh. Hee hee, looks like I woke up just in time," Rainbow Dash replied back, awaiting Applejack's moment of humility.
The crowd was silent, awaiting the next scene. All for Rarity, who was completely apathetic to the entire thing.
"Well go on Applejack. Lick me so I can wake up," Rainbow Dash said, with a grin on her face. Being laughed at by Applejack when water got spilled on her was now bittersweet for the orange mare, that she was sure of.
Applejack was sweating and nervous. She took a gulp and stuck out her tongue, and moved it towards Rainbow Dash's cheek, and what seemed like an eternity, but was only a second or two, took a stroke with her tongue along Rainbow Dash's cheek. Rainbow Dash laughed silently to herself, and continued on, pretending like she had been unconscious during the time to convince the crowd, and slowly waking up.
"Oh. I am awake! Thanks to you Sun Streak! You saved me after the freak mystery bucket accident!"
"Neigh," Applejack said, disgruntled.
"Anyways, Now that I have saved these woodland creatures, we can leave this forest and finally reach Ghastly Gorge!"
"Not so Fast!"
Pinkie Pie's debut on stage had arrived. She stomped her way on-stage and confronted Rainbow Dash's character. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were confused with what in Equestria Pinkie Pie was wearing.
"Who are you?!"
"Neigh!?"
"I am your worst enemy," Pinkie replied.
"No you're not! You're Worst Enemy is a griffon who lives in Appleloosa! Now speak your true name, mysterious entity!"
"Okay, you caught me. I'm not your worst enemy. I am the Gho- I mean....The TOAST of Everfree Forest! And I will not let you pass to my master's lair! Wahahaah!!!!!"
"We'll see about that fiend!"
"Neigh!"
Applejack and Rainbow Dash wasn't sure what had been changed, but knew they would have to improvise once more. They just hoped they could pull it off.
"Attack me if you dare Spike the Suave, but you will only find your doom!"
"That's Mr. Suave to you!"
Rainbow Dash lunged at Pinkie Pie, and began attacking her in a flurry of punches, and occasional bucks with her hind legs. Of course Rainbow Dash was not truly intending to hit Pinkie Pie, and Pinkie Pie returned the unconvincing action, by pretending to dodge the attacks and retaliate them also, this continued on for around a minute or so, with Applejack just spectating, as her role designated for the scene.
"Neigh!"
"Aha! You are no match for me, scoundrel!"
"We shall see Spike the Suave! You will perish to my secret weapon!"
"And what is that!?"
"My party cannon," Pinkie Pie exclaimed, using her infamous physics defying logic and pulled a cannon out from complete nothingness.
"What the- That's not part of the script! She's supposed to battle furiously with him until he defeats her! The ghost of Everfree Forest doesn't have a party cannon," Spike said, angrily, on the left side of the stage behind the curtains.
"Umm...It's the Toast of Everfree Forest now, isn't it," Cheerilee, standing next to Spike, insisted.
"Do you wanna keep your face Cheerilee," Spike responded.
"I'm just saying."
Back On-stage Pinkie had just brought out her party cannon. Rainbow Dash wasn't sure if Pinkie was even following the script anymore, but had to keep the improv going, or else they'll lose the crowd, which was kind of a lost cause, since the crowd was relatively bored to death.
"You villain! How would you even dare bring something so awful out into battle!"
"All is fair in love and war my dear Spike the Suave! And you know what the worst part is?!"
"What?"
"I don't even remember If It's confetti that's in it, or the cake I was baking! Prepare to meet your maker!"
Pinkie fired the party cannon, laughing maniacally to add good measure to her character.
"Is this the end?!"
"Wahaha! Yes Spike the Suave you will-"
Pffft, The cannon sounded. All it had fired was just some confetti at Rainbow Dash. She assumed to pick up where the script would have originally taken off.
"Aha! you fool! You placed too much trust in your weapon! Prepare to be vanquished."
Rainbow Dash grabbed the lance that was mounted on her back, with her teeth, and charged at Pinkie Pie with the papermache weapon. When it came into contact with Pinkie Pie, it merely crumpled at the tip of the lance, with Pinkie Pie, unscathed.
"Ha, the lance didn't work! your weapon is no match for my buttery goodness! hahaha!"
"I shall try once more!"
Rainbow Dash retreated away from Pinkie Pie, and galloped towards her once more, with her lance. At that exact moment, Colgate had been fumbling around with the cluster launcher again.
"Stop messing with that thing, Colgate, before you mess something up again," Derpy told her.
"Oh, hush! I'm not somepony who's always messing up like you do," She lashed back.
"Yeah, that's what you said the last time you ended up shooting out a haywire firework, huh," Derpy scoffed.
"Listen you, I'm getting tired of you bothering me already. I know what I'm doing when it comes to this! This cluster launcher does whatever I want it to do," She knocked with her hoof on the machine, causing it to launch a small haywire firework out towards the stage. Right when Rainbow Dash's lance made contact with Pinkie Pie once more, The firework also made its destination at the top of Pinkie Pie's costume, causing it to catch a small flame.
"Wahhh," Pinkie Pie screamed bouncing up and down in panic.
Derpy managed to notice the fire brimming on the Pink mare's costume while arguing with Colgate, she grabbed a bucket of water backstage and flew above the stage, and poured the water right on Pinkie Pie, putting out the flame and drenching the Pink mare. Pinkie Pie toppled over to the floor, posed like a opossum playing dead. Her singed costume still on.
"Uhhh.....Yes! I totally planned for that to happen! I have defeated the gh- I mean toast of Everfree Forest! Now we can proceed to Ghastly Gorge and confront Disorder, Sun Streak!"
Applejack half-asleep from lack of any lines.
"Huh- Wha. Oh. Sure thing, Rainb- I mean...Neigh?"
"They're all gonna need to buy a new face when I'm through with them..." Spike said silently to himself, his temper rising.
Now was the final scene of the play, Where Rainbow Dash and Applejack's character were to head to Ghastly Gorge and engage in the final battle with Twilight's character. After a brief intermission, they succeeded in losing a bit of the crowd, who had just decided to go home, But Spike was sure that Rarity was still there. If she sat through all those scenes, then she would stay til the end, otherwise the deal was off. This scene had a change in background, this time to make it look like the characters were in the chasm at the bottom of Ghastly Gorge. Vinyl and Lyra had adjusted their musical performance to give off the impression of a hopeless and evil area. Rainbow Dash now dressed in her character's entire wardrobe, was sitting on Applejack's back, who was slowly trotting along the stage, until coming to a stop.
"Look Sun Streak! We have made it to Ghastly Gorge, which probably was never debatable as to whether or not we would in the first place."
"Neigh?"
"That's right, Sun Streak! Now to confront Disorder and bring harmony to Equestria, and more Importantly to rescue my love, Princess Pristine. Onward to the villain's lair!"
"Hahaha! You were a fool to come, Spike the Suave," Twilight said, Not visible on Stage.
"Show yourself Disorder!"
"Very well then! It in only fitting that the hero see's his murderer's face after all!"
Twilight jumped down from atop the rafters, which also gave Colgate the cue to launch several fireworks in the sky off stage, for a more flashy entrance. Vinyl and Lyra also changed the background music to a more sinister tone. Twilight was now visible on stage, garbed in her character's wardrobe, with a sinister smile on her face for good measure.
"Ha! You finally show yourself Disorder," Rainbow Dash said, as she unmounted Applejack.
"Neigh!"
"Yes, Indeed I have Spike the Suave. and Remember this moment for it will be your last alive!"
"I think not, you fiend! What have you done with Princess Pristine?!"
"Ah yes! The princess is with me, She is inside my lair, but the only way in is to defeat me! Wahahah!"
"And defeat you I shall! I will rid Equestria of you, forever and save Princess Pristine, and then Proceed to marry her! That probably isn't relevant to your interest, but I still thought I'd bring it up!"
"You are fool Spike the Suave! Prepare to die at the hands of me, The mighty Disorder!"
"Neigh!"
"Silence, steed!"
"Remember this day Disorder. For it is the day that your flank is thoroughly kicked."
"Have at you!"
The two mares charged at each other while Applejack merely stood back and watched, the ocassional "Neigh," meant to cheer on the hero. What ensued of the scene was Rainbow Dash and Twilight stage fighting for a couple of minutes with the occasional insult to each others character shouted between themselves every couple of moments. Derpy was moving the lights around, trying her hardest to make sure the spotlights were always focused on the two battling titans. Colgate repeatedly fired small fireworks to add excitement to the battle, While Lyra and Vinyl made the tone of the music more dramatic and frequent to add emphasis to the fray. This went on for a couple minutes, without the off-stage ponies ever fighting amongst each other, and Spike was amazed at how wonderfully the end scene was going.
"Maybe I'll pull this off after all," Spike said to himself, smiling.
Lyra and Vinyl continued playing their piece while the fighting on-stage continued. Eventually Lyra started to get hungry again while playing, and noticed she still had her daisy leaf sub on the floor. She levitated the plate holding the sandwich up with her horn and took a big bite out of, Loudly munching on the meal, but not enough to attract her partner's attention. But as she continued eating it, she began to notice that holding up the plate with her magic was breaking her concentration on playing her lyre, causing her to get some chords out of sync or miss some. She didn't want to eat it too fast, so she thought of what to do. She looked over at Vinyl's DJ station. Then an idea came to her.
"I'm sure she wont mind if I just set it on her table for, It was getting dirty on the floor anyway." Lyra thought to herself, setting the plate on Vinyl's DJ station, and resumed playing her instrument, full focus.
When Vinyl saw what Lyra, had done. Realization hit her as abrupt as a record scratching. There it was, a plate with a half-eaten sandwich on it. She knew all too well who the culprit was. That lazy good for nothing green unicorn, Lyra!
"What do you think you're doing," She said angrily.
"I'm playing my instrument, what does it look like to you genius," Lyra replied, agitated.
"Not that you dork! What are you doing putting your food on my station," Vinyl lashed back.
"Oh relax, Disk Jockey, It's just a sandwich, It's not gonna kill you," Lyra answered sarcastically.
"It doesn't matter if it would! Get it off my station, And quit calling me Disk Jockey," Vinyl exclaimed, sternly.
"Fine, But it'll get dirty if I keep leaving it on the floor!"
As Lyra levitated the plate up in the air, she lost her focus and it fell back down, slamming onto the DJ station and flinging the sandwich off the plate, causing all the contents to spread across in a daisy leaf and bread crumb mess.
"Oh no! My poor sandwich," Lyra sadly said.
Vinyl was furious at the situation. How dare someone make a mess on her pride and joy. Vinyl clenched her teeth in anger and gave a glare to Lyra, thinking she purposely did this.
"That's it! I can't take it anymore! Prepare your flank, sister, cause I'm about to kick it" Vinyl exclaimed, as she lunged at Lyra, causing them to fall on the ground. What then ensued was the fillyfight of the century. During their fighting, one of the ponies hoofs hit one of the buttons on the DJ station, causing the music that Vinyl was playing to Play distorted and sped up.
Derpy and Colgate were backstage as always. Derpy was happy with having done a good job with the lighting and the water act. Well, at least she thought so about her work. She flew down to Colgate, who was still tinkering with the cluster launcher.
"Job well done huh," Derpy said, optimistically.
"Yup I knew I could do it," Colgate answered, complimenting only herself.
"I meant for the both of us," Derpy said, irritated by the ego of the blue unicorn.
"Ha! If I were to agree Derpy, then I'd be lieing," Colgate scoffed, with a smug grin on her face.
"Ugh! I had it with you! You're such a conceited mare! I'm glad this is the only time I'll ever have to work with you," Derpy scorned the blue unicorn.
"Heh. Yeah, after this you can go back to licking stamps and shoving your hoof in mailboxes," Colgate added insult.
"At least I don't scrape teeth for a living! You weren't fooling anyone on Nightmare Night! Everypony knew you came out in your uniform! haha," Derpy lashed.
"Take that back you wall-eyed mailmare!"
"Make me, Gum-cleaner!"
Colgate, Infuriated, lashed out at Derpy. She charged at her and they began to brawl along the backstage floor.
Rainbow Dash and Twilight were continuing their fight scene, with the predictable monologuing and cliche villain and hero banter being spewed back and forth. But Twilight managed to take a fast glance at the audience, and saw it. They were completely unimpressed with the play. No. Not with the play. With her acting as a villain. Or at least this is the thought that was in her head.
"Think, Twilight, you're losing them!" She thought to herself. Perhaps now was the time to bring in the big guns. She retreated away from Rainbow Dash, who was surprised to see the act of improv, especially from Twilight.
"Twilight, what are you doing," She asked her friend in a hushed tone.
"Just go with it, Rainbow Dash," Twilight replied.
Spike who was watching the play behind the curtain, noticed himself that Twilight wasn't following the script. He didn't expect that from her.
"Even Twilight isn't following the script!?" He mumbled angrily to himself.
"Alright here goes!"
Twilight's horn flared with a glow. The audience phased from their stares of boredom, and began to find interest in the scene. What was the Unicorn going to do? they wondered amongst themselves. Her horn's glow grew brighter, until suddenly blotting out.
The crowd fell silent, awaiting the twist in the script to appear. But their expectations died out. All Twilight did was conjure up some fog underneath her feet, that swiftly rose up to the sky in a swooping motion, then dissolving into the air.
Rainbow Dash had to keep herself from bursting into laughter from Twilight's sad attempt at pulling off a showstopper.
"Pffh- W-was that it, Twilight?" She whispered.
The crowd was muttering amongst themselves again, but only this time it wasn't of anticipation. It was of dissapointment. Twilight could feel it. If they had any respect for her as a Villain before, It most likely was snuffed out after that pitiful display or spicing up the act. But she couldn't give up, she wasn't going to let this play end until the crowd was captivated by her acting.
"No! I got to do something bigger," She thought to herself, and began tapping into her magic reserves again. Her horn flared even brighter than the last. This time the magic shot from her horn into the air, and began to manifest itself into a small storm cloud, that began charging up lightning.
The crowd was in awe, They weren't expecting this to be part of the play. Their bored expressions soon turned to eagerness, All for Spike, who was backstage, becoming even more infuriated at the Improv mock his friends were making out of his play. It was clear to him that if he could even manage to form his claw into a measuring position to show his temper, he would have it held high above his head, signifying that his rage has gone even further than what he thought physically possible for him. He hoped that his friends would know how to live without faces, cause he was about to slap all of theirs clean off their face.
Building up onto the anticipation, while Lyra and Vinyl were still engaged in a catfight with each other, They managed to hit a hoof on the DJ station again, speeding up the music, and distorting it even more. But surprisingly the distorted mess became a rather fitting tune, setting a suspenseful tone. While Derpy and Colgate were also fighting, one of Derpy's wings accidentally hit the 'Rocket Cluster Auto-Fire' switch on the side of the machine, shooting out fireworks every couple seconds, into the air near twilight where they burst into a hundred sparks of their designated color before fizzing out and the ash being blown away in the wind. All this unplanned chaos managed to inadvertently enhance Twilight's attempt at adding pizazz to her act. Rainbow Dash and Applejack watched in awe as well, as the fireworks burst into the air and the storm cloud above twilight continued to charge lightning. Even Twilight was captivated by the display. Spike's awful play managed to get save by Twilight. But the look on Spike's face said he thought otherwise.
"Wow. this is going better than expected," she said quietly to herself.
Rainbow Dash picked up where she thought the script would be best to start again, of course having to improvise even more.
"Foolish villain! I do not fear your Lightning or your colorful sparks. It is mere witchcraft, prepare to be delivered back to the Gates of Tartarus, you fiend!"
"Wahaha! You or your precious princess will never see Daylight again! Attack my storm cloud of doom!"
Rainbow Dash didn't know how to react, but she knew that the hero had to look like he won, unscathed. A thought came to her.
"Hey, Disorder! Catch!"
She shrugged her gold crown off her head, grappled it on her hoof, and flinged it towards Twilight, landing on Twilight's head. Twilight wasn't sure where to go from here, but she knew that it was all Improv for the rest of the fight so just went with her best bet.
"Ha! Fool! It's too late to surrender My lightning will strike you dow-"
Bzzzzt!!! Twilight felt the surge of a lightning bolt rush through her body. The painful, yet sensational feeling, came as quick as it left, While Applejack and Rainbow Dash watched, as well as the crowd who gasped in excitement as Twilight was quickly electrocuted.
"Oohhh," Twilight groaned, falling over onto the floor, her coat singed and her mane frizzy from the lightning assault.
"Yo-you have defeated me, Spike the Suave...I'm going to go lie down," She said, her last line out of character, but was too uncaring to notice, and began to trot slowly backstage.
Rainbow Dash decided to pick up from the shocking display and began once more.
"Umm...Behold! The fiend has been vanquished! I, Spike the Suave have triumphed over Disorder!"
"Yes, and you have rescued me my love," Fleur said, making her debut. Rarity noticed something familiar about her. She was wearing the dress that she had made today for her client! It had occurred to her why the exchange for the dress was odd. Was it because Spike didn't want to ruin the surprise that he had wrote a play? Fleur wasn't a resident of Canterlot after all, so it would have made her suspicious.
"Indeed I have, and I totally didn't have to try at all to win, and we're absolutely going to get married, because I saved your life!"
"Yes, that is all true, Dearest Spike. I would so totally make out with you, If we weren't in a dark chasm, but when we aren't, I will permit you my flank."
"Of course you will, For I am Spike the Suave!"
"Neigh."
Applejack went on the right of Rainbow Dash and Fleur on her left, they layed down beside her and raised one of their front hoof towards Rainbow Dash, and shouted.
"For He is Spike the Suave!" One final rocket cluster launching out above them and bursting into the air, in a Burst of multi-colored sparks.
The crowd was silent for what seemed like an eternity to the actors on stage. They were incredibly nervous to hear the reaction they had for the play. Did they think it was a complete snorefest? Did they like it, did they hate it, Did they want their bits back, even though they didn't pay to watch it? All these thoughts raced through their heads. They didn't know to be confident that the crowd would react positively.
After the long moment of silence. One pony in the crowd began to slowly clap. Followed by one other, then another and another, Until becoming loud enough for an applaud, then escalating to a standing ovation. Whistles of acknowledgement and shouts of praise fluttered among the crowds. The loud applaud managed to catch the attention of the brawling mares at the sound station, and the two fighting backstage. Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Cheerilee, Carrot Top, And Twilight went back on-stage to take part in the applause. It distracted Twilight from her recent close encounter with death, and made her happier than ever that the crowd was pleased with the performance, and was also excited to be soaking in the glory, and trotted on stage alongside Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and her forest animals, Carrot Top and Cheerilee. The crowd cheered and applauded for a good minute. The rest of the Off-stage work were going to go on-stage as well to bask in the audience's praise, but remembered what Spike said, and what He wanted them to do when the play was over.
Derpy took her position at the top of the rafters, Colgate gripped a rope with her teeth, waiting on Derpy. Vinyl and Lyra prepared to start playing again as well. Derpy shut the stage light's off for a few good seconds, The crowd fell silent. The actors were confused over what was happening, questioning the situation to each other in hushed tone.
"What's going on guys," Rainbow Dash asked.
"Neigh. Err, Ahem. Ah mean, Ah don't know, Rainbow," Applejack replied.
"Just relax darlings, Spike has something special planned for your friend in the audience," Fleur answered, confusing the mares.
After about a minute, Derpy shut the stage light's back on. The music began once more, this time a cheery tone was set. The crowd was still silent. nothing seem to have changed aside from the lights going back on, or at least anything else that they could have noticed. Derpy shifted the Spotlight to the top of the stage, all the crowd and the ponies on stage directing their attention to it and seeing what had changed. Atop the stage was a Large cardboard cutout rendition of The Sun, but in the middle of it was the shape of a heart painted pink. Spike was standing on a small platform connected to it. He was dressed in a white tuxedo, and top hat, and was holding a small box in one of his palm. Colgate began dragging the rope down slowly, to lower the Sun and platform. Spike began to sing a chord in a low tone, while the prop began its descent down to the stage floor. Once it started descending he began his song.
I was the hero that was in that play, that hero he was me.
And now I'm in front of you It's clear as you can see.
I fought Disorder, And lived to tell you
And now I'm here to ask for your hoof.
So if you want to marry me.
Will you marry me-hee?
Will you come on stage and join me?
In this thing called Matrimony!
Please say 'Yes' and do not Bone me
Oh Rarity I ask of you
Will you Marry...Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Spike had sang, perfectly on cue how he had planned. He had finished the song by the time he was off the platform, and finished the last note of the last verse of his song, by the time he was at the end of the stage holding the opened small box, that was actually a Ring case, and directed his attention to Rarity in the crowd, gazing into her Apathetic, Dull, Blue eyes.
The crowd was dead silent, and the music had also stopped. Even the ponies on stage were anxious to see the outcome. With the exception of Fleur, They were unaware all along, that Spike had done this as a personal matter. As a means to propose to the love of his life, to engage in Holy Matrimony with the mare he would call happily call his wife. All of Ponyville fell silent. The display was beautiful, to think A dragon would go through all the work as a means of proposing to someone, It was a beautiful sight indeed, Pinkie Pie shed a tear or two, Applejack had her hat off in respect to the little guy's ambitions. Rainbow Dash was eager to see how it would end. Fluttershy had a soft smile on her face, but it was clear she was also anxious inside to hear their friends response. Fleur had her smile as always, happy that she was able to partake in helping Spike achieve his goal. Twilight was probably the least surprised, but in some way just as happy as the rest of her friends. She had the feeling Spike did this all for something. Even with his short temper occasionally, he saw it through to the very end. Even though his friends managed to manipulate the turn of his play, and Improv like crazy, and even though the off-stage work was more than hectic. It all worked itself out in the end.
All was silent for a few more seconds. Rarity looking up on stage at Spike, who must have been the only source of noise, with his nervous breathing, and a large smile donned on his face.
"Is that it?" Rarity asked, completely aloof
Spike turned to see if she was addressing someone else, but clearly was talking to him directly. He looked back at her.
"Wh-What do you mean?" He asked, still posed and holding the ring out.
"I mean, Is that all? Is the play over?" Rarity repeated.
"Well- yeah. I mean all for exce-"
"Great. Well then, I'll be going." Rarity interrupted, as she began trotting off between the gap in the crowd.
"Wa-wait!" Spike insisted, causing Rarity to stop and turn back to look at him.
"What?" She asked.
"So...Is it a Yes?" Spike questioned, chuckling nervously, still putting on a smile.
"Honestly, Spike? "Is it a yes?" No Spike I will not, I will never marry you...... And I also held up my end of the deal, So that means you can't come by my shop anymore and harass me." Rarity said sternly, trying to be as clear as possible, with a hint of Pity in her tone, and began trotting away, but only getting a few steps before Spike began again.
"Okay, Okay wa-wai-wait. I just wanna get this clear. Uh...You are saying 'No'?" Spike asked, trying to get clarification.
"Oh I am Definitely...Definitely...Saying No," Rarity proclaimed, with a serious tone.
"Okay. Well...Um- I technically didn't sign anything to make the deal 'Legal' So umm....I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Spike replied, nonchalantly.
Rarity only sighed and began trotting home once more. The rest of the crowd turned their attention back to the stage, Vinyl had finished up cleaning off her station and packed it up, and Her and Lyra were now on stage, along with Derpy and Colgate who also came on stage after the display.
"Uh- Well...That's it. you all can go home now," Spike addressed the crowd.
"Well. can we at least do the bow?" Lyra asked Spike.
"Uhh....humm...Well if you want," Spike replied, in a somber tone.
He stood in the middle of the stage, facing the crowd. Holding his right claw, and also standing on his right was Fleur, followed by Derpy, Colgate, Vinyl, Lyra, and Carrot Top. Holding his left claw and on his left side was Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, And Cheerilee. Each connected themselves with Spike as the base, by holding one of each others hoof. Fluttershy's forest animals were in front of them all, space between also holding one of each associates paws. They all held their heads up, and then took a silent bow.
The audience quietly applauded, then began to dissolve. Everypony that was part of the stage began to trot off slowly towards the exit backstage with Spike.
"You did a good job Spike, Good job," Applejack, said trying to cheer the dragon up.
"Ah..." He mumbled.
"Yeah don't let it get you down, Spike." Rainbow Dash added.
"I can do ghostie noises, If that'll cheer you up," Pinkie Pie insisted.
"It's fine darling, you directed a wonderful play anyways," Fleur complimented.
"Better than anything I could have came up with. heh..." Colgate replied.
"Don't beat yourself up Spike, I'm sure it'll work out later on." Vinyl assured Spike.
"I can't believe I didn't get to finish my sandwich," Lyra stated.
"I just don't know what wrong." Derpy responded.
Spike fell behind their pace, while Twilight was still back, coming near Spike.
"Good job Spike. At least you got to see your play become a success," Twilight assured Him.
"Yeah...I guess." Spike replied.
"On the bright side, At least I earned a standing ovation," She complimented herself.
Spike's temper came again, and he raised his claw in the measuring position again, and lifted it high above his head.
"I am here. I am past here," He motioned with his claw.
"Besides. I knew you didn't write this for nothing all along, even If it was probably obvious to you It would end up in a failure." She said, unintentionally adding insult to injury.
"I-I am here with it. And if you bring this up again, Back at the treehouse, I'm going to smack your face off of your face. I swear to Celestia." Spike said, as they finally made to the backstage exit, and began their walk home, In the moonlight.
The End
