Boulder to The Face

by The Red Guitar

Rating: teen
Tags: Maud Pie, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 1514

Maud Pie is dashing to Charge. In an effort to get her into bed with him, he tries to pick her up at a bar. Little does he know, it turns out to be much more harder than it seems.

Charge has seen pretty mares from time to time. But he has never seen anypony as beautiful as Maud Pie. In an effort to get a nice sexy night with her, he approaches her at a bar.

However, it's a lot more harder than it may seem.

Published 2014-03-17 02:00:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-17 02:00:09 UTC

Boulder to The Face

Charge didn't care. Maud was the most beautiful mare in all of Equestria, and he was determined to get her beside him.

Charge was a pegasus stallion. He recently graduated from Cloudsdale College with a degree in Cloud Management. Although he was very studious, mares would never tell the difference. His mane was a bright blue, which spread out everywhere and disguised his eyes. His body was a slightly dull yellow, and he had a nice muscular build. His wings were noticeably more longer than anypony's wings, which made him all the more striking to the mares. Charge was aware of his body, and he took full advantage of it.

Although he always wanted a good marefriend, he found that he could never really find one. None of his relationships lasted more than a month or two and they were more one night stands rather than anything else. It was also harder to maintain those relationships as well, and most of the time they turned to an ugly end.

However, that changed one day. He visited Ponyville to meet up with some old friends from long ago. They went to the local pub, which they got free drinks from the bartender who knew them very well. They sat at the bar, laughing as they told each other jokes and had an overall good time.

In the midst of their drinking, Charge scanned the area. Charge had a strange habit of darting his eyes around, and the main targets were mares. In fact, the bar was usually the place that most of his relationships start. Most of the mares were either speaking with other stallions or they were making out with other stallions. There was absolutely no free mare in sight. Charge sighed and moped at his drink.

Suddenly, he heard the door swing open. He quickly turned his head to the source of the sound. That was when his heart stopped beating. There, about teen feet away from him, was a gray mare that had entered the bar. Her coat was as gray as a stone, and she had a belt wrapped around her stomach, along with a gray sweater. Her mane was straight and drooped down her head. It was just as gray as the other parts of her body. She looked around the place with a deadpan expression and took a seat at the corner of the bar.

To Charge, she was sexy.

"Hey, who you eyeing over there?" one of Charge's friends asked. Charge was still staring at the mare, with his eyes wide opened. His friends laughed hysterically as he sat staring at the mare. The mare looked out at the windowsill, seemingly at nothing. Charge's friends laughed at him more, before stopping.

"So, think you got the hots for her?" his other friend asked.

"What are you talking about? I have the hots for any mare in Equestria!" Charge retorted. His friend grinned.

"Alright, alright! How're you gonna approach her?" Charge looked back at the mare. She was still staring out the mirror, as if she was staring at something as well. Charge knew that he had to seize the moment.

"I think I'll just go in directly. You know, so there isn't any awkward tension between us," Charge explained. His friends laughed and pushed him off the stool. Charge gulped as he walked towards the mare. Something was off-putting about the mare as he walked. The mare had almost no expression, and she was still looking out the window.

Whatever, Charge thought. I'll just use my charm to make her mine.

Soon enough, Charge was right by the table that the mare was sitting at. Putting on a suave face, he approached the mare with coolness.

"Hello. Is this seat taken?" Charge asked. The mare looked at Charge with the same emotionless face. She glanced at the seat beside her and then back at Charge.

"There isn't anypony sitting beside me," the mare said bluntly. Charge started to make out some words, but they came out as a small distant breath. What would he say? What can he say? The sentence was so dry and to the point that he couldn't exactly process it. After a brief second or two, he shrugged the sentence away and started a new one.

"Well, uh, I guess not. My name's Charge. What's yours?" Charge asked in the friendliest tone possible.

"My name is Maud Pie," the mare said.

"Cool! Can I get you a drink?" Charge asked. Maud blinked once before replying.

"Can you?" Maud asked with the same deadpan expression. Charge chuckled nervously, caught again by the dry voice. She has a weird sense of humor, Charge thought.

"Sure thing! Hey, bartender! Get this mare a glass of Apple Cider!" Charge yelled across the room. Charge sat himself opposite of Maud. Maud didn't seem to notice, as her expression didn't change a bit. Charge beamed a smile at Maud. Maud only blinked once. Charge chuckled nervously again. Charge wasn't so sure why he was chuckling though. Give it more time, Charge thought. It just might work.

Soon, the drinks came and they were set on the table. Maud stared at her drink with the same expression. Charge lifted the cup up and gulped it all down at once. He slammed the cup down and wiped his mouth. He beamed at Maud with white teeth. Maud sipped on her cider and calmly set it down at the wooden table. She looked out the window again. Charge coughed a little and asked a question.

"So, uh, Maud. What do you do for a living?"

"I work with rocks," Maud replied, still looking out at the window.

"Ah, cool. What do you do with rocks?" Charge asked. This wasn't a question that would normally break the ice. Charge had no idea what ponies did with rocks.

"I study them. I also do research on the different types of rocks. Sometimes, I play with rocks," Maud droned on, never breaking out of the same expression. It sounded like a boring occupation to Charge, but then again some ponies will study flowers for a living. He guess it wouldn't be that bad.

"Um, that's pretty cool, I guess," Charge said. Charge had nothing to say now. All of his remaining options was gone. He didn't think it was possible, but it actually happened. The day when he couldn't find something to say. Fortunately, Charge always had a plan B. Maud sipped on her apple cider again, then gently set it down.

"Hey, Maud..." Charge started to say. Maud glanced up at Charge with the same deadpan expression. Charge yawned and stretched out his wings, which spread out beautifully. If he couldn't do casual talk, he would have to go for seduction. "Do you like stallions?"

"Not really," Maud replied simply. Charge was completely surprised. Of all the things that she could have said, she said "Not really". He folded back his wings and tried a different approach.

"Oh, well do you at least think some of them are pretty hot?"

"Sure," Maud said. Now it was time for the kill.

"Like me?" Charge said.

"Not really," Maud replied. Charge stopped thinking for a moment. Every single sense stopped in his brain. In his entire life, not one mare has told him that he was at least attractive. And now it actually happened. Maud didn't consider Charge at all good-looking. Charge tried again, upping the seduction a little.

"Well, maybe I'm not too good looking for you, but maybe if you come at my place, that'll change," Charge said. He thought maybe it was too obvious, but right now Charge's ego was at stake right now. All of his ammo needed to be shelled out. Maud blinked a couple of times before replying.

"Sorry, but I'm taken." The words shot at Charge as they were said. Suddenly, Charge figured it all out. Maybe it was her fault, but Charge was so stupid that he didn't see it before. Charge had this happen to him sometimes before, but he didn't figure this one out. Admitting defeat, he asked the question.

"Oh. Would it be okay if you told me if you told me who it was?" Charge asked. He at least wanted to know who it was. Maud dug into her pocket and pulled out an object. At first, Charge thought it was maybe a picture or a watch with a picture in it or something. But the object was actually gray, almost as gray as Maud. But another glance at it told him that it wasn't a picture. It was instead a pebble. It clattered on the wooden table as it was tossed out.

"His name is Boulder," Maud said.

That day, Charge went home and cried himself to sleep.

Author's Note

Maud is probably my favourite character thus far. She is just so boring that she is good. This may seem a little dry, but I really wanted to make a Maud story. So, here it is. Enjoy!