The Kangaroo and the Poet begin their Journey
Convention 13
Chapter 1
Nigel hadn’t been having been having a great day. Not only had his fucking AC broken in his apartment, which was in New Mexico, he was then late to work because the toss pot mechanic that works for the apartment was late, coming to his bloody fucking room to fix the fucking AC. His excuse?
He couldn’t find the bloody fucking room!
“It’s the only bloody fucking door with a fucking Australian flag on it!” Nigel fumed to himself.
Then, when he got to work, he was met by a group of characters that identified themselves as US Marines. Nigel had reason to believe them, not like he was going to call them liars. What with the assault rifles they were carrying. They then essentially served him a warrant, and had “pulled him for service to the US government.” They also confiscated his fucking phone!
So where was he now? In a Knighthawk, being flown to an undisclosed location. Nigel looked over to the Marine sitting adjacent to him. He had shaken his hand and had introduced himself, that is before his sergeant had cuffed him upside the head and told him to shut the fuck up. Dante, if Nigel remembered correctly. Nigel leaned forward to talk to him, perhaps worm their destination out of him. After all he said he was a big fan of his works.
“Hey kid,” Nigel asked. He continued as Dante leaned over. “You know where we’re going?” Dante reciprocated.
“Sorry sir, but we’re currently in major OPSEC. My entire fucking squad had their fucking phones confiscated. I’m on a Need-To-Know basis, and I currently know jackshit. Whatever it is, they don’t want anyone knowing.”
For the next two hours they said nothing. Merely staring at the walls. The rest of the squad was bantering on about what was happening. Nigel hated banter.
Location: [REDACTED], US.
Time: 14:20
[REDACTED] Squad is collecting [REDACTED]. He is here to help with an investigation of [REDACTED], as he is the leading expert [REDACTED], currently in the world. We have reason to believe there is [REDACTED] activity in the area.
Nigel woke as the helicopter settled. Dante was already up, with his pack on his back. Nigel took note of the and e-tool attached to the MOLLE webbing, and the tomahawk attached to his leg. The ramp opened, Dante and his squad were off in seconds. Forming a protective half-moon circle around the ramp, as Nigel followed slowly behind.
He stepped off the ramp into a green field, took note of the surrounding tents. Most of them weren’t even tents, rather pavilions. But he soon located what he thought was the command tent. Hundreds of military personnel were bumbling about
“Dante, you’ve been briefed on the layout. Show X-ray where he needs to go.” Dante’s CO ordered.
“Copy that Sarge!” Dante replied. Then moved to meet Nigel.
“Follow me, Sir.” With that Dante moved towards the tent that Nigel figured was the command tent.
“I don’t need a kid to show me where to go, tosspot!” Nigel threw at Dante. Dante, being the youngster he is, and the fact that had no clue what the fuck tosspot meant, was unaffected by this insult. He continued on his journey with Nigel audibly fuming.
They reached the door, with Dante holding it open and allowing Nigel, who was still fuming, in.
Nigel was met by a table and a rather angry looking angry marine standing behind it.
“You the Xenologist?” The angry marine asked. The name on his label being “Sgt. Masterson”.
“No, I’m the bloody fucking tooth fairy. You got a tooth you need pullin’? Of course I’m the bloody fucking xenologist. If I’m not, than these marines need to discharged for incompetence!” Nigel supplied.
“Don’t get cheeky. Now, Uncle Sam pulled you, because you are the world leading xenologist. At about 0350 last night, something crashed in this forest. Intel suggests Xeno activity in the immediate surrounding area. I don’t believe them. Currently, we do not believe the crashed object to be releasing radioactivity. The probes we send in are not recording any radiation, nor any bacteria. However, the probes are dieing before they can reach the crashed object due to heavy EMPs. This where you come in, Nigel, I am sending you to investigate. And you- what’s your name?” Masterson questioned Dante.
“Sir, PFC McClure, Sir.” Dante stated, standing at attention.
“Right, you’re acting as his security. You keep an eye on him. If any aliens decide to attack you, blast them away.” Masterson explained.
“Sir, permission to speak freely, sir?” Dante questioned.
“Granted.”
“Just me? Not an entire squad.”
“Son, I have got the entire state of Oregon and California flocking up here to see what happened. With only a little over one hundred marines to cover that. Giving you to him is already too much. Do you understand?”
“Sir, yes, sir.”
“Good, now Convention 13 states that fir-“ Nigel cut Masterson off.
“I fucking know what Convention 13 states, I don’t need to be reminded.”
“Well, then, there’s a jeep waiting outside for you all. Go ahead, you’re no longer needed here. At ease.” Masterson finished.
Nigel left first, with Dante following close behind. Nigel slowed down, and began speaking.
“Who’s driving?” He asked.
It turns out Dante was the one who would drive, the drive only lasting about ten minutes.
“Hey, Dante,” Nigel began. “Give me a gun.”
Dante looked at him, with a surprised look. “I can’t give you a gu-“
“Don’t give me that gobshite. I served in the Australian Army, I know how to handle a gun.”
Dante, looked at Nigel, looked back in front of him, then looked back at Nigel. Sighing, Dante released the M9 from the Serpa holster attached to the MOLLE on his vest. Handing the handgun over to Nigel. Nigel gained a very creepy grin on his face as he took hold of the handgun. This unnerved Dante, but he kept his expression.
“Got any extra mags?” Nigel asked. Dante grabbed the two extra mags on his chest and tossed them over to Nigel, who deftly caught them.
Dante continued on with the driving.
They reached the point where they could drive no longer, and disembarked from the Jeep. Dante grabbing his SBR HK416 from the back, and Nigel grabbing the duffel bag of equipment a second team had taken from his lab for him.
“Wankers better not have damaged any of it.” Nigel mused.
Dante merely rolled his eyes.
She had nothing to live for, her entire race was dead and it was her fault. She couldn’t block out the sounds of the last few of her children being ripped to shreds by predators. She felt their pain, and their anguish, their hatred for her. She knew she deserved it all.
She just wanted to die.
She had no place to go, the ponies hated her, as well as the gryphons, the minotaurs, and even the goats.
No place.
Until Celestia came and told her of their plan, her race may be dead, but she was still the leader of a species. They had found a way to go to an alien planet. They wanted the leader of every species available for a possible first contact.
A home, a place where she could escape the pains of Equestria, where she could restarts her species, make them stronger! As a plus, if there were any sapient being on this planet, they wouldn’t know of her crimes.
For the first time in months, her green eyes shone with life.
Author's Note
First Contact story! Yay! 
Nigel and Dante begin their journey. Do you know who Nigel is? 
The reason Dante uses an HK416 is because it's 2017 and they have replaced the M4.
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The Kangaroo and the Poet get in a Fight
Convention 13
Chapter 2
“So, what got you in this situation?” Nigel asked Dante, as they continued to the crash site. Dante glanced over to him.
“My dad, he was uh, he was Force Recon. He was shipped to Afghanistan following 9/11. His squad was being sent to gather intel on some supposed Taliban holdouts. On their way there, they took a hard contact from The Taliban.” Dante stopped to check the GPS. He continued.
“He was moving to support a Marine that had been hit, as he left his cover, a sniper hit him in the leg. The rest of his squad was pinned down and couldn’t move to pull him to cover. The round had punctured his femoral artery and he bled out in a few minutes. His squad was pinned down for two hours before support arrived. I was only four when he was killed.” Dante explained.
“Wow, I’m uh, I’m sorry that happened.” Nigel supplied.
“Don’t be, dad knew what he was getting into when he joined the Corps. He knew that there was a chance he wouldn’t come back, but he did it for mom. He always had a sheepdog mentality. Hah! You should’ve seen how mom reacted when I showed her my registration papers! Damn near thought she was gonna kill me!” Dante replied, continued. “Although… in hindsight, maybe telling her I joined the Corps when she was making bacon wasn’t the best idea.”
“Noodle incident?” Nigel questioned.
“Noodle incident.” Dante confirmed.
They continued moving, after about five minutes, Dante raised a fist signaling for them to stop.
“Command Central, Command Central, this is Poet 6 actual, Poet is ninety meters away from site Charlie. X-ray is in tow. Requesting green light to continue to site Charlie. How copy?” Dante spoke into his radio.
“Copy Poet, we’re getting confirmation now.” Command responded.
“Poet?” Nigel asked.
“Yea, you know. Dante Alighieri.” Dante explained.
“Ahh, okay.”
Dante’s radio crackled to life. “Poet 6, Poet 6, Command has given you a green light to continue to site Charlie. Out.”
“Come on, we’re almost there. Electronics start going out at nine meters, that’s it’s believed sphere of influence.” Dante explained.
"Alright, I'll begin taking samples thirty meters away." Nigel stated.
"Hey Nigel, why don't you ever say mate?"
"Get up you fucking bug!"
Was all Chrysalis heard before a hoof impacted her midsection, her old chitin doing little. She grimaced, and fought her way up. Only to have a hoof bared upon her again, hitting her right front knee. This caused the entire front half of her body to collapse. Her rump in the air, her mind began panicking.
"No, not another mounting!" She pleaded subconsciously.
To her relief, the mounting never came. But even the thought of it made her sick. She used to be a powerful Queen, but now she's now just become a receptacle for horny stallions looking to get their rocks off, cheaply.
"Get this… thing out of here, Private." The Lunar guard both insulted an ordered.
The Private moved to collect Chrysalis. One of the Lunar guards Chrysalis still trusted. Barely, as she was being raped by all of his companions, he remained stalwart and alert. She could detect pity and… regret emanating from him.
He never touched her, and was loads more gentle when it came to moving her. She was grateful for the Faust-send, as she was fairly certain her knee wouldn't be able to take more weight being put on it. She leaned to her right on his flank and limped forward as he moved along with.
"Private, I thought I told you no fraternizing with… it." Chrysalis had originally thought her anger for this guard could get no higher, but it raised, by a lot.
"I'm not fraternizing with her," The Private put emphasis on the her. He continued. "You just bucked her knee so hard, you damn near broke it. As such, it will be a much faster trip if I support her."
The obviously higher ranking guard stayed behind, with the Private moving slowly, but decisively. They eventually managed to make it to ground level, where they were met by two identical white stallions in identical gold armor. Something about these two stallions seemed familiar. Beyond being the clone of every other Solar guard.
"Thank you…" the Solar guard to the right began, but stopped as he did know the Private's name.
"Private Pitch Locator, Sir." The Lunar guard supplied. Huh, so Pitch was his name.
"Thank you Private, we will be escorting this… abomination," the Solar guard to left said, as he recoiled for dramatic effect. "To the meeting room."
The Lunar guard wordlessly handed off the leash that had been attached to her neck for Faust knows how long, and went back to dungeon duty.
Chrysalis and her envoy began moving. The halls perfectly empty, not a maid or butler in sight.
After about five minutes of slow walking, the stallion to the right leaned over, and gave Chrysalis the startle of her life.
"My Queen, it is us." The Changeling disguised Solar guard told her.
"Child?" Chrysalis nearly wanted to die with happiness, one of her children had survived the repulsion. The stallion to her left spoke as well.
"Mother, please forgive me for the insult I spat against you earlier, that's how they acted." Chrysalis was fairly certain she was going to die of happiness. Two of her children had survived the repulsion. While that was a far cry from the several thousands that used to be her hive, it was still better than being completely alone.
And it was true, while the Solar guard never ended up raping her, and they did act a lot more professionally than the Lunar guard. But they weren't merciful with the insults.
"Mother, we must get out of here!" The Changeling to her right said.
"What are your names?" Chrysalis asked.
"I am #2475," The Changeling began. "And that is #3429."
"We need to get to the meeting room, they're going to a new planet. We can escape to there and restart."
Chrysalis was now more determined than ever.
"Oh, uh, well you see," Nigel fumbled in response to Dante's imquiry. "My mum was English, and my dad was Australian. So I got this accent, some people call it Austrenglish."
Dante eyed Nigel skeptically, but soon turned around and silently agreed.
They reached within thirty meters of the crash site, and Nigel began collecting samples.
"So, what does the M. in Nigel M. Chalmers stand for anyway?" Dante asked.
"Uh, it, uh, stands for crazy." Nigel responded. Dante began.
"That doesn't ev-" Dante was cut off as a portal began flashing to life, above the small crater at the crash site. Dante and Nigel reacted quickly. Dante raising his HK416, and Nigel raising his M9. Their fingers were off the trigger.
The portal continued flashing a brilliant blue, and after a few seconds, three things came charging through. The largest one collapsed in front of Dante, with the two smaller ones stopping to try and help it. They were black, with horns and wings.
"Is that a fucking horse?" Nigel asked. Dante looked at him as though he was an idiot.
"No, that's a fucking pony."
"How would you fucking know that?"
"I come from a horse farm."
The portal flashed again, and the two small ponies looked scared. They began trying to pull the big pony behind a log.
After a few moments, the portal did the same thing it did when it spit out the three ponies.
And a giant blue fucking man cow snorting steam charged out of it.
Dante and Nigel fired without hesitation.
Author's Note
Yeah, so enjoy.
Poor Chrissy, suffering through that.
Dropbear, please don't kill me! Please!
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