Moon Doesn't Care About Size
Author's Note
Its my first written story after 5 years, so it will be a little bit chaotic, and its my first story in English, so there will be a lot of mistakes, if you want to help with editing and pre-reading and help in general, just PM me ;). So i hope you enjoy thin a good luck reading it!
PS or FIY or blablabla: I still didn't quite figure out name of this fanfic, so you are free to tell some suggestions ;)
Chapter I - Prologue
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Chapter I - Prologue
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My name is Andrew Prokesh. I’m a 36 year old brilliant scientist.
Six year ago, in 2028, I created the very first teleportation device that could transport living tissue. It was a massive breakthrough in the world. Everyone started to support my research. I became rich and famous, but I didn't like those things. I always felt like they were corrupting me.
I used all my money to build a teleporter which could transport a living, normal human. At least that’s what I said to the public. I never much liked this world, with all the wars, diseases, and lately water problems and starvation. So I decided that in secret, I would build a special teleporter that could transport me to another dimension.
You know, in my youth, there was a show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It taught me about important things that I felt this world doesn’t have: friendship and equality, among other things. There was a specific pony, who caught my mind. It was the princess of the night, guardian of dreams, Princess Luna. She reminded me a lot of me, when I was just a teen. Sad, alone, and afraid of making new friends. She, after a while, overcame those fears and became a friendly pony. I really liked her. I never wanted to admit it, since she was just an imaginary character, but I had a little crush on her. I always wanted to be best friends with her, maybe something even more. I said to myself that it was just weird falling with love with an imaginary character.
My friend from primary school, Ladislav was a scientist too. He was really stupid, but he was one of my best friends in this world. He was as smart as Steven Hawking. He believed that everything we think, everything we create in our minds, it creates new dimensions about those things. Our imaginations were tools of creating life.
He always wanted to explore new dimensions. I told him, that one day with my teleporter, he could get there. So I told him not to tell anyone about our dimensional teleporter research. He was a friend I could trust, so I told him my intention with the teleporter. I told him that I want to get out of here, to get to a better place, where wars are minimal and everything there is good. He didn’t want to go with me, because he wanted to go to another dimension, which he didn't tell me about much. Only that that dimension would have something to do with smart people.
After two years of research with Ladislav, our dimensional teleporter was ready, but we never tested it on a human. Before I knew it the day arrived when I would use our teleporter to get to Equestria. ''Everything is ready, Andrew. You’re ready to go.'' Ladislav said.
''Good. After two years of waiting, I’ll finally able to get there. Are you sure you don’t want to go to, Lada?'' I said with a smile.
''No, I don't. I don't want to live with ponies, I want something different, remember?''
''Ah yes, a smart people dimension,'' I said, rolling my eyes. I came over to him and shook his hand. ''Thank you Lada for helping me with my dream come true,'' I said with joy in my voice. I felt a little water in my eyes from pure happiness.
''It was good having you as a friend. Good luck out there,'' Ladislav said with a little sadness in his voice. I put away my lab coat and stepped into the telechamber. I was feeling nervous. After all these years, my dream will come true. Only one button, which starts the teleportation sequence, has separated me from getting to Equestria.
''Okay, press the button Lada, I’m ready as I would ever be.'' Lada pressed the button and the countdown started.
''10''
''9''
''8''
''Good luck out there Andrew,'' Lada said.
''7''
''Thanks Ladislav, see you again someday,'' I said jokingly
''6''
''5''
A teleportation pad bellow opened under me as the room sealed up with large metal walls.
''4''
Energy bolts started appearing.
''3''
''2''
I felt a tingly feeling all over my body.
''1''
''Here we go!''
''Teleportation: Complete!'' said the computer voice. The metal walls dropped down and Ladislav saw nothing.
''Good luck, my friend'' Lada said.
Moon Doesn't Care About Size
Chapter III - Close Encounters
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Chapter 3 - Close Encounters
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What a day it was, or night for Princess Luna. At dusk, she raised the moon above the land made her dark sky shine with beautiful stars. She proceeded to sit on the throne and devote herself to her subjects’ problems and worries. When clock striked midnight, Luna went to her chambers to take a nap. She took her lovely silver boots off her, lied on her bed, and fell asleep. But something wasn’t right. When she was sleeping, she felt indescribable strange energy surge in her mind. Some foal must’ve had a dream of doing powerful magic.
When she woke up, she properly stretched and yawned. She jumped from her bed put on her boots. When she was putting on her rear right shoe, she felt a tiny peeble in her shoe. It will fall out when I’m walking, she thought. When she was trotting toward the throne, she met a guard carrying a snack. Luna told him to show her the food. The guard took off the cover and she beheld her favorite snack food: salad with carrots and moonberries. She always liked to have a snack after a nap.
“Huzzah!’’ She stamped in happiness
The shoe, in which she had that pebble, had fallen from her hoof. She then put it back on. She didn’t felt it anymore. It must’ve fallen out. She then ordered the guard to take her snack to the throne. The guard put the cover back over the food and trotted with Luna to the throne. Luna then sat herself on the throne and permitted the guard to leave. She then took the cover off and looked at her snack with hungry eyes. “Hmmm, yummy’’
Andrew’s POV
Something really loud woke me up, from my dreamless sleep. It was really far away. I was still in that lovely smelling mountain’s hole, when all of sudden there was an earthquake. *click*. All of sudden there was light everywhere, my eyes tries to adjust. What I saw was impossible. Everything was impossibly huge! I looked closely at the walls of the mountain, and by the size of everything, I figured out, that I was sleeping in someone’s shoe! It was round-shaped, so it must’ve been a shoe for hoof. If that was the case those round things could not have been stones. They must have been dirt, hair, lint and other disgusting stuff that the carrier of this humongous shoe carried from the floor. All of sudden, everything around me was dark again, but not too much like the last time. Like something was above me. What I saw simply blew my mind away.
It was her majesty, Princess Luna! But her size, she was so huge! Even the highest skyscrapers back on Earth would be ridiculously small against her. "Princess Luna, down here! I'm in your shoe!" Why I was even trying it? I couldn’t have be bigger that an ant, but I still loved the view I was given, looking at the princess, now like a goddess to me. She slowly stretched and yawned. She looked like she had beautiful dreams, I thought. I was so amazed by her beauty and size that I forgot that was in her shoe, which she’s just about to put on. I ran as fast as my tiny body could carry me toward the closest wall of her shoe, but I was just too small to make it there in time. Before I ran about fifty meters, her lovely hoof started to come down on me.
“This is the end,” I said to myself.
To be smeared across her hoof like a sticky stain by the second most powerful being in Equestria, and she wouldn’t even notice.
I stopped running, laid down and began watching her mountainous hoof come towards me. I closed my eyes and awaited my fate. But nothing happened. I was still alive. Somehow. It turned out I was in the hole of her hoof cleave. Frog. That’s the name of the hoof hole if I remember my horse anatomy correctly.
She started to walk. Fresh air rushed to me, cleaning the humid air, which wasn’t actually unpleasant. It smelled really good. I even tasted her warm sweat. It tasted like that sour liquid I drank last night. I so wanted to massage this gorgeously smelling hoof, but i had my arms stuck to me by her sticky hoof sweat. I barely dodged being crushed by her hoof but for some reason I wanted to lick the dirt from it. I wanted to be of service to Luna by cleaning it of impurities so it might be brighter than Celestia’s sun.
Luna stopped. Before I could realize what was going on, she lifted her hoof so fast, that the shoe I was in fell off of her hoof, me included. I was too afraid to open my eyes. I was flying through air for a little while before I landed on something wet, and soft. “BRING IT TO THE THRONE!” Luna boomed with her powerful voice. Then, everything went dark, I opened my eyes, but I couldn’t see anything. I still felt like I was moving. I must’ve landed in some bag or something. Wherever I was I had the feeling that i would see Luna again on the throne.
I felt a crash. I guess I arrived at my destination. With the sky bright, I could see where I was. I was sitting on a moist green surface with bits of orange sticks around me. It smelled fresh like vegetables. Then it hit me. “Oh god, I’m…I’m in her food!”
I had to get her attention somehow to avoid being a bloody stain on her teeth or worse, eaten alive!
“Princess Luna! Please don't eat me!" I screamed in fear. It was useless.
I had to think fast, because every second that passed, Luna could’ve buried her snout into this delicacy. I tried to escape by climbing out but the “walls” of the salad were too wet and slippery for someone of my diminutive size. I tried screaming but she obviously didn’t hear because a fork, held aloft by a magical aura was coming right down to the dish.
Before I knew it the fork made its way through lettuce, carrots, and other vegetables effortlessly. She picked up some of it, (luckily without me on it) and engulfed it with her gaping maw. She then took the fork out of her mouth and started chewing. *crunch* *crunch*. The sounds were uncomfortable to me, since that could’ve easily have been me instead. Swallowing down her morsel, she then proceeded to take another bite of food.
The fork hovered just above me, when it crashed next to me, and then with a speed that made me sick, she took it before her giant, saliva filled maw. Her breath smelled like morning dew and veggies. Completely oblivious to my presence, she slowly put me into her mouth with her food. When I arrived in her maw, I was instantly met with hot humid air, and I was immediately drenched in a copious amount of her royal saliva. She then took the fork out of her mouth, and I fell onto her tongue. It tilted, and I began falling towards her humongous molars.
I fell flat on her molar with some salad and saw, as her upper molar was coming down onto me. I acted quickly and rolled out of the molar crevice. *clack* *crunch* Just when I fell into her cheek, those giant molars has turned previously solid salad into crushed, mushy goo, mixed with saliva. With her tongue, she picked me up with impossible strength. I was clinging on the tip of her tongue, when I saw that she stopped crushing the salad with her now dirty teeth. She leaned her head backward and I started falling towards the back of her throat.
Just when I was about to fall down to my certain death, I jumped and miraculously caught her uvula. It was really slippery, but I somehow managed to hold onto it. After a few minutes of witnessing her molars reduce salad into nothing but goo, and then fall below me, I saw that her meal was finished. Now was my chance. I started rubbing, banging on her uvula. I succeeded I could tell she was about to cough.
*Ekh* *cough* *cough* *cough*
I flew past white mountains right out into the good old world again. I landed on a plate, on which were only tiny resting bits of food.
“Guard, wouldst thou kindly take that to the trash? I am quite satiated,” Luna said with a sigh. “Thank you.”
The plate was then lifted by the guard’s magical aura, and after a few moments, the plate tilted and I fell. Presumably into the trash can of the kitchen.
“Now how do I get out of here,” I pondered.
Author's Note
Chapter IV is coming 1st of June!
Moon Doesn't Care About Size
Chapter IV - Unforeseen Consequences
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Chapter IV - Unforeseen Consequences
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I spent a few more minutes in the trashcan without any idea on how to get out of this stinking place. Add to all of this, it was completely dark and I couldn’t see anything. I could hear noises where cooks were making food for the guards and probably even royalty. Everyone I heard was sounding like they were in a hurry.
I really had to keep away from any food, or else someone might serve me with it. My thinking about not getting into food was interrupted when I heard a different noise. This time it was really close to me. I made my way toward the black, rubbery wall of the trash can, put my ear to it, and listened.
The sound was coming closer and closer. All of a sudden, the wall was getting ripped apart. Right above stood an elephant-sized ant! I guess he bit his way towards the junk for food in here through the wall of the trashcan. He just swooshed above me, probably not even noticing me, coming into sweet parts of the junk. He was fast, like a cheetah.
I didn’t try to catch to him. It was useless at this speed, so I went into a hole he made. It was a way put, but it was heading toward the kitchen floor. But there was a problem. The kitchen was in a rush, so my thoughts were correct. There was constantly somebody walking close to trash can, so if I tried to run over the floor, I would end up crushed to paste on that floor just like a smashed ant. There were about a dozen squashed bodies by those mountain sized hooves of unaware workers.
As I look at those lifeless bodies, I noticed that the edge of the floor was kind of ok to go. But I couldn’t risk it at this speed. I noticed a few ants coming from the edge, towards the table right in front of the trash can. They tried to chaotically run towards the table but were met with the hooves of workers. All of them got crushed to paste in mere seconds. I had no chance. Although maybe if I tamed an ant and rode it, I could survive at least until I reached the edge. But where would I find a living ant?
Ah, the ant in the trashcan! I hoped he was still in there. So I rushed back to the trashcan and started looking for that ant. After while I found him scavenging some junk. Now I only needed to find a leash. I then remembered that Luna left some blades of grass after she ate her salad and almost me.
I came to the place where I was dumped and took one blade. It was thick enough to not to get ripped apart. Now all I had to do was just silently jump onto the ant and tame it. I slowly climbed on used plastic fork, which was just high enough for me to jump safely onto the ant.
I jumped on the head of an ant. Immediately, the ant started to shake. I felt like I was in a rodeo. I took the leash and wrapped it around its mandibles. It was hard to stay on its head, but I emerged victorious. I tamed a goddamn ant! How cool was that? I just felt so proud of myself. I was finally able to ride the ant. We immediately went outside, but right after we came from the trash can, we turned left and headed for the edge of the floor. But before we were close enough to the edge, I saw a huge brown hoof coming really close to us. *BOOM*. It landed a few meters away from us, but it still made one heck of a shockwave. It threw us at the wall, right at the edge of the floor. When I looked back, I saw that brown pony taking the trash bin and dump its content out of window, right to the recycler. We were safe, for now.
It was at this point that I had the idea of naming this ant. I always wanted an animal named Sparky, so I’d name him Sparky! We were walking for several minutes, watching ponies as they tended to their daily businesses, sometimes even crushing several ants under those dirty, sweaty hooves. After that, we came to a huge wooden wall, reaching far beyond my sight. It was probably the leg of a table. It was so huge, like a skyscraper at my size. I coaxed Sparky to climb up. I would have to hold on really tightly if I didn’t want to fall down.
Over the next few minutes, I held tightly and tried not to fall. After Sparky finished climbing, we arrived at a tabletop full of exotic smells and sweets. Sparky immediately reacted and started running towards the closest sweet thing in range, which by the looks of it, was a gigantic banana pie. I was too afraid to let go, so I held on tight to him.
When Sparky jumped into the pie, I couldn’t hold, and I started falling. Sparky went flying right into the banana froth. I fell into froth too, only into different place. I was still on the same pie as Sparky, only I was on the other side. I tasted the froth; it was really good. Really fresh.
Only problem was, I couldn’t move, so I was stuck like a fly in an ocean of banana froth. I wondered what would happen next.
*--------Meanwhile--------*
About a half a hour ago, her majesty, Princess Celestia woke up. She raised the sun and said goodnight (or in this case good day) to her tired sister, Luna. Celestia then said to one of the stewards to bring her a banana pie for breakfast with an apple tea. The steward nervously bowed and ran like hell to the kitchen. Celestia meanwhile went back to her chambers to make herself presentable to the public. She brushed her mane, cleaned her teeth, and donned her hoofcups, tiara and necklace.
She then went to the royal parlor to wait for breakfast. Every guard on her way saluted to her. Everypony saw the traits that are fitting for a princess. Grandeur, wisdom, leadership, among others. But she didn’t like when they acted like that to her. Only a handful of ponies knew her true side. Grace, kindness and joy. Celestia was never able to show those traits to her subjects because she needed to look strong. But she always felt like she was doing something wrong.
She came to a set of large mahogany doors, and the guards opened them. When she entered, she didn’t see anypony else. “Of course”, she thought. Twilight was back in Ponyville with her friends and Cadance was with her husband, Shining Armor in the Crystal Empire. She felt alone in the castle. Sure, she had a sister she loved and cared for, but she never saw her much. She always liked when there was somepony new amongst her servants. She sometimes even pranks them, but they still act like they are accused of treason. She feels sad for them, same as for herself.
She sat in the chair. After awhile of waiting, the doors opened and the same pony from whom she had asked for food, was there. He had a blonde, shaggy mane and tail, a gray coat, and green-yellow eyes. She couldn’t see his cutie mark, because it was hidden behind his castle uniform. He was carrying a banana pie with apple tea, but the way he moved suggested to her, that he was really afraid. He came over to her and with half voice he nervously said, “Y...Your food, Your M...Majesty.” He put the plate with her breakfast onto the table. He bowed and stayed frozen like that, waiting for Celestia to allow him to go.
“You don’t have to be afraid of me, my little pony. I don’t bite. Come on, look at me”. She said with a motherly smile. The servant raised his head and he saw a beautiful smile on Celestia’s face. He now had reason to smile too. And he did. “You see? It’s not that hard.” She finished with a chuckle. “You can go now. I will no longer keep you away from your duties.” The servant was then slowly walking towards the doors. But before he could leave, Celestia halted him and asked, “If I may ask, what is your name, little pony?”
The servant stopped and said, “M..My name is Sleepy B...Book.” And with that, he disappeared behind the doors.
“Hmm, Sleepy Book. What an interesting name. I shall remember it”.
Celestia took a sip of tea and got ready to eat her pie. She took a little knife and cut a piece of pie. She then took the piece with fork she held with her golden magical aura close to her maw. She then put that piece onto the tongue. It tasted so well that the froth gushed on the tongue really quickly. She then played with that piece with her tongue and then proceeded to put it onto her molars. She then started biting. But when she bit down, she felt something get crunched under the massive power of her teeth. It must’ve been a crumb of some other sweet a cook accidentally let fall onto her pie. But something was odd about it. It tasted oily, almost acidic. When she finished crushing her food into shapeless goo, she leaned her head backwards and swallowed. She then took a sip of tea. Then she cut another piece.
Throughout her meal, she hadn’t felt anymore crumbs getting crushed between her teeth.
When she finished eating her breakfast, she called for a toothpick. She felt a lot of things stuck in her crevices and gums. And she was also curious about that crumb she had crushed. Maybe there would still be some residue of it. When a guard brought her a toothpick she slowly put it into her mouth and started scraping. After her mouth felt clean of junk, she took the toothpick out and took a closer look at what was in her mouth. She saw pieces of half melted froth, as well as crumbs of dough of pie. No signs of that strange crumb. But there was something else. A tiny dot, that didn’t look like it was from that pie. She brought the toothpick closer to her eye and squinted. It was some kind of bug. Even smaller than an ant. How come that bug wasn’t crushed between Celestia’s humongous teeth? He must’ve been really tough to kill. “Hello, little one. How did you get into my food?” She said quietly so as not to destroy the bug’s ears, if it had any.
*--------A few minutes back--------*
As Sparky was enjoying an almost infinite amount of banana froth, I tried to move from my position toward the edge of the pie. But before I could make any progress, I heard hoofsteps. Somepony was coming. I dug a little bit more into the froth so he couldn’t see me. His green eyes scanned the pie, not noticing me, or even Sparky. He then grabbed a plate with his magic. It seemed we were getting transported somewhere, or more likely, to somepony. The unicorn steward lifted the pie and put the plate under the pie. If I weren’t in this froth, I believe I would’ve felt really sick.
When the steward lifted that pie up to his normal height, gravity got hold of me and I got sucked into the froth. I started panicking so much, that I had no idea of what’s going on outside if pie. When I somehow panic my way back to fresh air, I noticed we stood before gargantuan mahogany doors. I suddenly heard somepony say something really loud. “State the nature of your entry,” said with a military voice probably a guard, guarding the doors. “I..I’m bringing breakfast to our glorious P...princess Celestia,” Said the steward with timid voice. Princess Celestia? I have to get out of here before I end up as a bloody stain on her tooth! Unfortunately the froth just doesn’t want to slacken and I was just wading too much to have some real hope of getting out of here. After all of this, I almost forgot about Sparky. I could barely see him, but from what I saw, he was lying on his back, full of froth, probably taking a nap.
When the doors opened, the steward came in and was going towards the princess. When he put the pie onto the table, gravity once again got hold of me and I fell into the froth again. When I was in the froth, I could make out that they were talking, but about what I couldn’t make out. When I made my way towards the surface, I saw a shadow looming over me. It was a giant knife, that was about to cut into that pie. It loomed over me, and came crashing down close to where Sparky was. Everything was shaking, which meant that Celestia had started cutting the pie.
When she finished cutting, she took the piece of pie on which Sparky was on with her magic and levitated it before her maw. She licked her lips and then opened her mouth, showing off pearly white sharp teeth, saliva dripping from the roof onto her smooth tongue and her teeth. Then, she put the pie into her mouth, closing it in. I couldn’t see what exactly was happening. The only thing I saw was Celestia’s mouth moving up and down, using her teeth to grind the pie into nothing but goo for her stomach. *CRUNCH*. That was really loud crunch. It sounded like something full all of a sudden burst. Oh my god. Sparky! She had ground Sparky into greenish stain on her molars. Poor Sparky, he didn’t deserve to die like that. That made me even more motivated to try to get away from this froth. But before I could make any significant move, magic lifted the final piece of pie, with me in it. She lifted it close to her mouth but before she could eat last piece of pie with me in it, she drank from her tea cup. When she finished her tea, she opened her drooling maw. I could see a tiny green stain in the crevice of one of her molars. Poor Sparky. I was gonna end up just like him, but, I didn’t want to go. When I entered the humid, banana smelling mouth, I immediately fell onto her tongue, because the humidity in here had broken me free from my prison in the banana froth.
I accidentally fell under her tongue, where it seemed safe at the moment. I was there, safe, until Celestia started feeling dry in her mouth and has started to make more saliva all around me. After a while, I was in an ocean of thick, sticky saliva of the princess, barely able to swim to the surface. Dead by drowning in Princess Celestia’s saliva. That would an interesting way to leave this world.
All of sudden, the ocean of saliva was lifted upward, towards her throat. She was about to swallow! I had to do something, or else I was gonna end up as a savory snack for Celestia’s stomach. I somehow managed to catch on to a piece of half melted dough that had gotten stuck in between her teeth. I held tight, trying not to get pushed by the saliva current into her throat.
When the ocean of saliva retreated, I heard a terrifing sound. *GULP*. I couldn’t see anything, but I felt that chewing has stopped. I held on tight of that piece of dough stuck in between her teeth, which was covered in layers of Celestia’s sticky saliva, without any plan of escape and thinking to myself what was going to happen to me. All of sudden, I was blinded by light coming from the outside. Celestia opened her mouth. All of sudden, I felt like I was lifted up with that tiny piece of dough. I couldn’t see, what was going on, but I felt a rush of fresh air on my saliva covered body. I was outside of her maw again. I really had no idea, what was going on, but after some moments, I was able to at least squint.
The first thing I saw were the gigantic pink-purple eyes of the ruler of Equestria herself, and they were looking straight at me!
“HELLO, LITTLE ONE. HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY FOOD?” She said with a voice that could tear apart planets. After that, I remember nothing. I fell unconscious after all those adventures. I hoped that when I woke up, I would get to talk to the princesses. IF I woke up.
Author's Note
So, Celestia finally found our hero. But she thinks he's a bug! What will she do to him? Find out in next chapter ;)
