Home.
A simple word, yet with so deep meaning. A place where you belong to. A place where you feel secure. A place where you’re (hopefully) loved.
Cheese Sandwich knew the meaning of this word, but never truly experienced it. He saw it on the faces of the ponies as they uttered that single word.
It hurt.
It hurt every time he heard it. What place could he call home? Manehatten? Cheese Sandwich cringed at the idea. That was the only town in Equestria he despised going to. Those ponies… they didn’t even know his name! Heartless…
He stopped himself. No, his job was to make ponies happy, not to judge them. He was the Super Duper Party Pony after all. He shouldn’t have even let those thoughts into his mind.
But it still hurt.
Cheese Sandwich sighed. He stopped his train of thoughts to examine his surroundings with his green eyes. He was walking down on a dirt forest path, tall oaks shading it with their dense canopy. Some of the leaves were already losing their vibrant green color, slowly turning into yellow, orange and red.
He narrowed his eyes at the obvious sign of the coming autumn. It also meant for him that he had to find someplace to survive through the winter. Highly populated towns and cities were ideal if the party planner wanted to stay for a few months. He gazed back at the direction of the city he came from: Fillydelphia. It was definitely a much better place than Manehatten, but he didn’t want to go back. His face softened as he remembered the party he had just organised. That young filly was surely still having the time of her life at that moment, squealing at the goofier and goofier surprises he scheduled for her.
Then he left.
Cheese Sandwich shook his head. He left because his job was done. He glanced at the lifeless rubber chicken riding him on a saddle. Was Boneless his only real friend? Or… he would be, if he hadn't given him to the party planner of Ponyville, Pinkie Pie. He nodded at the rubber chicken that had a red ‘2’ drawn on its belly.
After readjusting the poncho on his shoulders, he continued walking on the uphill path. Alchemillas offered their pollen in their lime green petals to the bees who were flying from flower to flower, adding their buzzing to the blunt hoofsteps of Cheese Sandwich. A blue jay was singing on one of the lower branches to his right.
He stopped and looked up on the bird. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the happy creature, who was giving its song to him, without asking anything as a reward. Cheese Sandwich scolded himself. The jay, despite being alone, was singing and trilling joyfully; why should he be depressed? He should just continue his job, making ponies happy by giving them impressive and exciting parties. Right?
Another blue jay appeared and landed next to the singing one. The singing one stopped, looked at the other, and gave it a kiss.
Cheese Sandwich tore his eyes off the happy pair. The jay was not alone; it had its mate who was there for it. But who was there for Cheese Sandwich? He hung his head and stared at the ground as he continued his way. He had friends... but were they really his friends?
A turquoise colored butterfly passed between the ground and his head. He slightly smiled as the picture of an amber maned and turquoise coated pegasus came into his mind. Lighting Dust had gotten into the Wonderbolt Academy, and had decided to make the most epic and awesome party for herself. And there he had been, Cheese Sandwich, the premiere party planner guided by his Cheese Sense, ready to do his job. However, he couldn’t really call her his friend. Yes, she had been satisfied and indeed called the party ‘awesome,’ but hadn’t been really interested in the party planner himself.
He was about to step over a root when he heard something rattling in a raspberry bush at left of him. Pulling back his hoof, he fixed his gaze on the bush. A white bunny jumped out of it, hopping across the path and vanishing in the dense vegetation on the other side. A cheerful unicorn with white mane appeared in front of the eyes of his mind.
Cheese Sandwich continued walking. He had spent some great time with Pokey Pierce, the blue stallion of Canterlot. He could call him friend but… when had he seen him last time? Two years ago? What would they talk about? Would he even remember him?
Cheese Sandwich reached the peak of the hill he was climbing. Lowering the tip of his hat to shield his eyes from the setting sun, he sighed as his shoulders dropped. Would he just disappear one day, like the sun on the horizon?
He glanced at a golden alstroemeria, one of the flowers of the meadow he was at. Would he just wither away like the flowers, giving pleasure for the occasional wanderer, then become forgotten forever?
His brown fluffy tail suddenly jerked left, then right. It shook, and the shaking spread across his entire hindquarters.
Dodge Junction, wedding anniversary.
He knew well when his Cheese Sense went off and what it meant. Usually, he would be jumping from glee, but at that time, he wasn’t. He sat down, putting Boneless 2 and his hat on the ground. He closed his eyes. Tears began to flow down on his dark-orange cheek, reaching the edge of it, and falling down in small droplets. Why couldn’t he just stop? Was he a slave of his own abilities? When a pony had found his cutie mark... was it a gift or a curse?
Another party came into his mind. The birth-iversary of the sky-blue pegasus in Ponyville. He remembered the local party planner, Pinkie Pie. Had he been really needed there? His Cheese Sense had said that there was a party going on, and surely he had contributed a lot to the celebration of the prismatic-maned mare. But at the same time, he had become the enemy of Pinkie Pie, even if for a short time. Was it really worth it? Would it be bad if he would stop following his Cheese Sense?
He scrunched his eyebrows together. No, that was his job, his cutie mark, his destiny. He can’t just stop!
He looked ahead of himself, the direction of Ponyville. His thoughts wandered back to the pink mare. Her cheerful smile, bringing joy into the heart of the ponies around her. Her giggling, sweeter than the sweetest cupcake made by the royal confectioners. Her huge, beautiful blue eyes, whispering about the happiness and love dwelling in her soul. This was not the first time he was thinking about her like that.
Cheese Sandwich sighed. She was also a party planner, yet she succeeded to fulfil her destiny by staying in Ponyville. Couldn’t he do that too?
His tail shook again.
How could he? His place was in Dodge Junction! He looked to his left where the forest path led to the dusty town of the south. His lips pressed together. What if he really said no?
His eyes went wide as he realized he was seriously considering this. He gulped.
He never opposed his Cheese Sense before. He knew that his sense would go off two or three times, then stop. He always interpreted it as an urge, a command to go.
He looked in front of himself, then left again. A cute giggling filled his mind’s ears as he turned his head towards Ponyville. Could a single mare of a simple town be worth the risk of changing his life? Could he stop wandering around Equestria, and finally call one town, Ponyville, home?
He took a deep breath, and released it slowly. Freedom, that’s what he would truly give up. Freedom to come and freedom to go. If his Cheese Sense would say Crystal Empire, he couldn’t go anymore. Or maybe he could, but such a long venture couldn’t be truly done more than once a month with a wife to take care of.
Two blue jays he’d seen earlier passed in front of him, spiraling through the air.
His eyes opened wide. What if she travelled with him? She would surely enjoy the—No.
Cheese Sandwich closed his eyes. Pinkie Pie had friends in Ponyville. Bringing her along would be something that was possible to do occasionally, but he could never make her become a wanderer like him. Especially if they would decide to have foals, that would make it impossible for years.
He glanced at a bee who was collecting the last bits of pollen from a pink alstroemeria. After it finished its work, it left the flower and flew high up into the sky.
Freedom.
He frowned. Was it really freedom? What was he free from? He was free from regulations, free from bad relationships, free from constraints. However, at the same time, he was free from safety, friends, and free from a place he could call home. Was it worth it?
The sun dipped under the far hills of the horizon. The bees returned to their home, and the chirping of the birds quieted as the moon began its ascension from the east. Cheese Sandwich looked up again.
He gasped at the beautiful sight ahead of him. The scattered rays of the set sun painted the twilight sky in a radiant mixture of pink and orange. The few clouds that were in the sky let through the vibrant colors. Cheese Sandwich stared at the fluffy pink clouds, images of a pink and bouncy maned mare coming into his mind again. He suddenly knew what to do.
He stood up, put on his hat, and Boneless 2 on his back. An honest smile grew on his face. He glanced towards Dodge Junction one last time, then took a deep breath and began his journey towards the calling sight of Ponyville.
THE END
Author's Note
This was a challenge to myself to write a fiction without any dialogue to practice narration. I know it makes the story kinda hard to read and I’m sorry for that. Any critique is warmly welcome.
The other reason for writing this was that how I feel sometimes these days. Within one year, I’ve been living in three countries: Hungary, Norway and Poland. Yes, I get huge salary and huge freedom, but leaving my friends behind again and again hurts so much. I wish I’d have someone like Pinkie Pie to go back to in Hungary.
Special thanks to my pre-readers: PlazmaticBrony, MrMinimii and OneWingedDevil
