Maud gives birth to a rock

by Jammo

Rating: teen
Tags: Maud Pie, Pinkie Pie, Random, Slice of Life, Nurse Redheart, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 3134

After visiting the doctor with abdominal pains they make an amazing discovery. Maud has kidney stones!

Yeah you heard right. A pregnancy fic where Maud has a rock growing in her kidney. The idea came to me when I noticed how much rocks she ate and thought "Yeah too much minerals in your diet can really create an issue." This is a goofy, goofy exploration of that concept.

Published 2014-03-17 19:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-20 06:47:50 UTC

Zircon Zygote

A stale, sterile scent hung in the air.
A dull-coated Earth pony sat calmly in the examination table as the clock ticked with every second.
She tilted her head down nonchalantly at her abdomen then towards the various tools on the wall. No shortage of odds and ends. Tools for hearing, tools for seeing.

Muttering under her breath to the pocket sewn her plain blue linen dress "Told you Boulder, my birthday was last month remember? Dad gave me rocks." This particular mare had a lifestyle, a fixation even with all things earthy and silicon.

Rocks, pebbles, slabs, bricks. If she could breath rocks, she would. Their solemn stony dignity spoke to her in ways that nothing else could. She was not a people pony. Gathering rocks, breaking rocks, moving rocks.

Her duties on her fathers farm gave her plenty of time to think and reflect. One of her sisters left that life to pursue a more eventful one and the two others have been eager to start their own farms and raise a family of their own but this pony..

She never considered a family, having one to care for. The simple joys of hooves sifting through stone made her content. That's all she wanted to be, at peace.

After waiting for what felt like no time for her but was actually 30 minutes a dusty coloured stallion with brown hair and a doctors uniform walked in with a folder. His face was sullen, a worker who did not enjoy dealing with the general public but was happy with the pay.

"Ms. Pie is it?"

In a dull, uninterested voice the lavender maned patient replied. "Yes?"

"Sorry for taking so long we've been very busy treating feather flu patients. We have a whole line up of people saying the need medical care with the flu and every time we have to tell them they need to go back to bed and get some rest."

Ms. Pie dismissive, wondering why she needed to hear this replied in a deadpan voice. "I don't have the feather flu."

Befuddled and confused the doctor shifted through his papers. "Uhh yeah, of course not. We took this ultrasounds of you last week and I'm afraid there's a bit of bad news".

With empty glassy eyes she snipped "I have the feather flu?"

The doctor readjusted his glasses with his hoof while cocking his eyebrow out her. After sifting through her papers he found a sheet of black plastic and placed it down next to her. On it what appeared to be a lumpy white mass, apparently only the size of a thimble if proportions were to be believed but it looked much larger magnified.

Looking intense the doctor spoke up. "Going to be stern. You came here due to complaints of abdominal pains. You mentioned to our nurse you had an excessive diet consists solely of minerals." She butted in with a dry "... I never said excessive."

Resuming his lecture "This buildup of calcium, magnesium and several others from your unique diet has caused deposits to develop in your left kidney. It will continue to grow until we can remove it manually, or worst case scenario you pass it."

"Pass it?" The charcoal mare said looking back with the first look of concern in her eyes. "There's surgery or we can have skilled alchemists from Canterlot flown in who can transmute it into a passable fluid. That is expensive and I know you're family isn't well-off financially. My recommendation is..."

With steely cobalt eyes she once again interrupted "So there's a rock.. Growing inside me?" Frustrated the practitioner tapped his hoof on the picture of her insides. "Yes. Kidney stones. They should be removed as soon as possible. Plus you should change your diet. Keep it from getting any bigger."

Keep it from? This pony, her life was rocks, her interest was rocks. Those things so many took for "granite". Her mind, body and soul were to give to the rocks. They meant little to others, but the world to her. Why were people acting like this was an illness? To create a rock inside her body, to nurture it seemed fitting.

This was a thing if beauty to her and they act like it's an illness? This was an experience she wanted, but didn't know it till now. An adventure. Not a loud, dangerous adventure with surprises and threats at every turn, but a personal bonding experience where the wonder is internal.

The mind and body growing as she brings a rock, the things she found so wondrous into the world through the miracle of her body.

With gears turning in her head she felt her stone needed a voice. "I want to keep it." Losing interest in his strange client he responded in a tired voice "Once we get it out you can keep it. We have no use for it." She rubbed her left hoof on her tummy and responded "No like.. I want it to grow. I want to raise it as my own and pass it naturally."

The doctor was ready to storm out then and there. He was tired, impatient and had no time for foolishness. Keeping his voice down refusing to lose is temper "Okay. You're free to do what you want. It will hurt. Passing it will hurt. We can deal with whatever you want to happen when it happens.

But I've given you my recommendation from a medical professional what you should do. We can reschedule and talk about then when you want to act like sane..!"

He looked at the dead-eyed grey mare looking down at her abdomen giving it soft rubs with her hoof. "Ugh!" He grunted. "Fine" he said as he walked out the door.

Maud proceeded to leave the office, walking through the main plaza and out the twin doors. She saw several ponies getting exercise in the fields outside the hospital. One was wall-eyed blue mare barking like a dog as she chased butterflies. The amethyst maned pony could only say in a dull monotone "Hm.. These ponies are weird.

Author's Note

Later chapters will be a lot longer but I feel is short intro should set the stage for what I want to do.
Hope you guys go along for the ride with this silly premise.

Auntie Pinkie Pie has it all figured out

Clutching her belly she walked through the Ponyville square, town abustle with actively, she doesn't normally come into town for anything. She was a quiet, reserved pony who lived on the outskirts under the strict but caring eyes of her ma and pa.

It was a rock farm. Daily life was waking up, brushing her teeth with a gritty sediment solution then spending her hours tending the fields. Collecting, breaking and shipping the rocks off to a variety of consumers. Wealthy noblemen would buy them for rock gardens. The lower class would need grinding stones to sharpen tools.

It was the life she was raised on. She was different from her other sisters. Her younger sister Pinkie had no passion for marble and masonry and chose to run off to Ponyville.

Her two youngest sisters Inkie and Blinkie were happy to work with rocks, but saw them as nothing deeper than a career. Rocks were who she was. Silent to most they spoke to her, a great proverbial wisdom that emanated from their dull, motionless bodies.

She was the awkward one, Pinkie was the family treasure and Inkie and Blinkie were the future of the farm. She knew rocks were in her future but not as a career.

She came into Ponyville as their general hospital could give her the best service she could afford. She was prepared for whatever the doctors said. She knew it was strange, she knew SHE was strange. But now knows it's what she wanted, and didn't care what anyone else had to say about it.. Except Pinkie Pie.

Before she knew it she had arrived at Sugarcube Corner. With a dead-eyed passive gaze and an empty look on her face she tapped her hoof on the door in three slow beats.

A cheerful motherly voice peeped a from inside "We're open, just walk in." The matte grey pony entered the building and saw her sisters landlord Mrs. Cake taking a special order of rum cake from Berry Punch.

The chubby blue mare with pink dollop of a mane glanced over at her new guest. "Oh Maud. Pinkie's upstairs if you're looking for her. She's got a new refrigerator box. That Pinkie." She chuckled dismissively at her tenant's antics.

Maude hooves clip clopped up the colourful candy-painted stairs, with banister bars of polished peppermint. As she walked up she could hear a childlike muffled voice "Lieutenant Gummy. Watch the pressure gauges and keep those claws clean! I will not have filth on my vessel!"

With a vacant expression Maud knocked on Pinkies door. In a loud bark Pinkie shouted "DON'T COME IN HERE!! THE ROOM IS FULL OF LAVA!!"

Waiting a few seconds to think out what she was going to say she replied "No it isn't.." To which Pinkie snapped back "Well you're not in here so I think I'm the one to know whether or not my room is full of lava am I right?". Trying to break down her sisters words, piece by piece she pondered how to respond to this. Invite herself in? That would make sense which Pinkie has never been about.

Against her sisters will she opened the door and as her eyes peaked in she was blindsided. "Mr. Gummy, fire crouton torpedoes!" A crusty, garlic and herb chunk of dried bread struck Maud in the right eye.

Eye burning from it's salty seasoning Maud could see her imaginative little sis sitting in a refrigerator box the surrounding floor covered in spaghetti sauce with various air pressure guns lining the ship loaded with ranch dressing, croutons and shredded cheese.

Pinkie was dressed up in a very professional looking blue and gold military garb, with dozens of bottle caps pinned on like medals. Gummy was just wearing a single eyepatch over his empty soulless eyes. Perhaps the only eyes that rivalled hers for sheer lack of expression. Maud walked towards the ship holding her her right hoof on her eye.

Agitated (at least internally her face was unchanged) she berated Pinkie. "Your gator has an eyepatch. I need one." Pinkie rolls onto her back, falling into her carved cardboard vessel and giggles wildly.

Propping herself up she responds with a smile "It's not like I keep eyepatches just anywhere. That would be silly. Plus gummy is the second in command of this ship. The S.S. Tamale, first combat ready lava submarine."

Maud's eyes slowly looked around the room soaking in the silly scenario her sister had created for herself. With a deadpan stare she explained why she came. "Pinkie. I have to tell you something important."

As she choked out her words Pinkie was busy firing your crouton gun full auto into Gummy's open mouth. Looking back towards Maud Pinkie cast a slightly concern looked at her big sis. "What's up?"

Maud crawled into the childish naval craft and said dryly without any buildup or explanation "I'm pregnant."

Pinkie let out a shrill gasp, grabbed Gummy and throttled him like a rag doll, look of pure rage in the pink pony's eyes, screaming "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER!?".

With a slight voice of concern Maud tried to calm her down "Pinkie pie. Please. Nothing happened. I just wanted to tell you first as there's a lot of things going through my head now and you won't judge me for it". The grey earth pony's eyebrows noticeably sank as she showed genuine concern when she spoke.

Pinkie pie beamed as she wrapped her hooves around her sister and a big warm hug, Maud looking away awkwardly. Pinkie let go and proceeded to give her the usual questions.

"So who's the lucky daddy?" Looking away she dryly responded "I think his name was Tom".

"How far in are you?" "Between Crust and Mantle."

"You have a name picked out for it?" "Ruby or Clay."

"Does mom or dad know?" "I haven't told them."

"Do you feel it inside you?" "After I drink water."

"Does it kick?" "Magnitude 2"

"Can I feel your belly?" "Can you?"

Pinkie snuggles up close to her sister, Gummy sucking ranch dressing strait from one of their canons as the share a tender moment in the refrigerator box. Unbuttoning Maud's frock Pinkie rests her hoof on the soft charcoal fur of her tummy. The elder one starring down at her with a dignified but caring gaze. No smiles, eyelids half-hung but with a love the runs deeper than she can express.

Pinkie nuzzles up against her belly and whispers "Don't worry your pretty little heads Clay or Ruby, your Auntie Pinkie Pie has it all figured out."

Stirrings in my Epicenter

Seasons past, months upon months ignoring her family back at the rock farm. How could she possibly explain this? Thank Celestia her sweet younger sister took her in. She wasn't ready to drop the belly full of blasting powder on her conservative, true to tradition parents.

Maud sat once again in the examining room. Same tools on the wall, not an inch out of place. She sat with the same vacant expression, same emotionless eyes. The only thing different about the picture was her opened frock and swollen belly, which her hooves were firmly rested on.

This wasn't the traditional uterine payload most mares raised, she didn't understand way she was swelling the way she was but she didn't care. All she knew is that deep in her body a rock she could call her very own was growing every week. Boulder was fine as a pet, but this stone.. The one her body would make would be someone to make her life complete.

She heard the doctor who gave her such a hard time about her decision would not be in today. She hoped whoever was giving her treatment today would be a bit more understanding and open towards what she intended to do.

The door creaked as a pure white pony with a rosy pink mane, nurses cap and medical cross cutie mark walked in to treat her. She was carrying a similar folder full of medical information as the previous doctor but rather than a look of confused frustration on her face she gave off the vibe of deep concern.

"Now before we do any tests I want to know..." The nurse peeped. "Are you sure this is what you want to do? You are already showing signs of complications." The slate grey mare looked down at your swollen abdomen then looked back. "Sure."

Frenzied the medical professional pulled out several scans and sheets of important medical information. "The inflammation of your growing kidney stones has led to an unnatural level of fluid accumulating in your renal system. Your kidneys, your bladder combined with the irritated swelling of your abdominal muscles have left you bloated and swollen."

"And?"

"Your ureter, the passage that the stone would pass through to reach your bladder is far to thin and would cause excruciating pain, permanent internal damage or death."

"Okay."

"We can remove it manually with surgery. You can think of it as a cesarean section. You'll get your rock. You keep your li-"

"No thank you."

An awkward air filled in the room. Nurse Redheart was befuddled at this stoic pony's borderline suicidal desires. They exchanged glares at each other. With a deep sigh the ivory medical worker clopped over to a pull down screen, slid it into view and grabbed the attached Transducer probe.

After an application of clear jelly she glided it along Maud's swollen side. In the staticky, poor resolution screen showed a cluster of white inside a distended organ. One was a large mass, lumpy and roughly the size of a golf ball. There was one the size of a small pebble, smoother but with one jagged edge. The rest were a series of four or so tiny stones varying from a pea to pin-head.

The stoic pony's eyes widened at the sight if her growing bundle of boulders. Mind racing with possibilities. The experiences, the trials, the rewards.

"How long do I have?" She droned.

"To live, or to pass them? Because we still feel they should be removed immediately." The concerned nurse looked.

Puzzled, the engorged earth pony blankly said "I didn't ask you how you felt."

With a sigh Nurse Redheart replied "You won't pass them if they get any bigger. Manage your diet.. And I'd give you about 3 months."

"How do you give me months?" The literal minded mare responded.

Guiding the scanning tool over her body, the exhausted but caring pony of medicine moved to her other side. "There were no signs of stones her but I just thought I'd check Waugh-HAUGH!!" With a horrified yelp she dropped the device.

"What is it?" Maud questioned?

Shaking, picking the machine of the floor she placed it back on her right kidney, revealing a whopper. A tennis ball sized beast that she's never seen outside of old medical textbooks of rare anomalies obscured by myth and time.

"When did you... start getting this...?" She stuttered. "What have you been eating..?"

"Quarry slate."

"Out.." The nurse shook. "We can't help you with this." A mortified hopeless look on her face as she sat in horror." Maud buttoned up her dress, now several notches loose with her weight gain. "Thank you." She said as she trotted out the door. Confusion, apathy, frustration? She didn't know how to react to these ponies who didn't understand her very specific vision.

Nature should runs it's course. She's going to pass these when the day comes. She knows it's dangerous. She knows at least from the perspective of others it's stupid. But her mind is at the beat of it's own drum. Whether or not it ends badly this is HER experience. HER moment. She may not be able to express these desires without people raising an eyebrow. But she knows this right.

Author's Note

Sorry for the slow update. Will try to get the next part up quicker.
It's also a lot shorter than I hyped I know. The last chapter is gonna be very long.. And very icky (Gonna stay in the PG-13 territory though. No anatomy or graphic violence stuff ugh). Chapter 4 will be Maud talking with her parents about it, Chapter 5 will be the glorious day.. Where she passes kidney stones.. I just typed that.