In Equestria there is no such thing as a simple rock farmer.
For as long as Equestria has existed, there have been rocks. For as long as there have been rocks, there have been rock farmers. And as long as rock farmers have existed, they have all-- every single one of them-- been obsessed with poetry about rocks.
There is no such thing as a simple rock farmer, for with the ability to farm rocks comes, inexplicably, a profound inclination for poetry. For centuries the rock farmers have been objects of curiosity and wonder, as many of the most renowned poets from every age of our history have made their living as rock farmers.
In these last few decades the rock farmers have even become objects of intense scientific research and debate. Many have studied why the ability to farm rocks and the ability to write poems, two seemingly unrelated skills, always appear hoof in hoof as a pony’s special talent. To this day, however, no definite conclusion has been drawn.
There are, of course, many famous and talented poets who are not in any way associated with rock farming. This is indeed a common occurrence and is evidence that the talents of rock farming and poetry are not fundamentally and inseparably connected. In some ways, though, that fact only serves to further compound our confusion of the nature of their relationship. Why is it that poetry can appear without rock farming but rock farming can never appear without poetry?
A most interesting example of this strange behavior can be found in the much-studied race of the zebras. Every single zebra is born with the inherent ability to rhyme. Studies have shown that zebra infants actually understand the concept of rhyming and have the ability to apply it before they even understand their own spoken language. The concept of rhyme is so deeply ingrained into their mentality, in fact, that they are physically incapable of not rhyming. This behavior lends a great deal to their natural proficiency in poetry.
Now, what is most interesting is that zebras have demonstrated a profound disinclination to the practice of farming rocks. In nearly every profession available to a pony, a zebra has proven that that same profession is equally-- or nearly equally-- accessible to the zebra race. This is not true, however, for the profession of rock farming. We are still not certain of the cause, but zebras seem entirely unable to understand or apply anything whatsoever about rock farming. History has yet to reveal a member of the zebra race who is able to grasp even the most elementary concepts inherent to the rock farming profession, and many doubt that it ever will.
This mysterious observation has led to the conclusion that an affinity for poetry somehow blocks out a creature’s ability to farm rocks. We are led to believe that this does not only occur in zebras since for many years it has been observed that young ponies who take interest in poetry at a young age are never able to learn to farm rocks, while ponies raised on rock farms or drawn to the profession before they earn their cutie mark are able to adapt the skill of poetry as if it is a second nature. Thus it appears that the case of the zebras is only an extreme and uniform instance of our understanding of ponies.
Yet another interesting demonstration of this complex relationship can be seen in magic spells. There does not exist a magic spell, incantation, nor enchantment that does not take the form of a poem. The greatest spellcrafters in history have all been exceptional poets, and this is obviously because one may not be a spellcrafter unless one can write poetry for without the ability to write poetry one cannot craft spells. What makes this a most singular observation is the fact that unicorns-- those granted with the ability to perform magic, and therefore also granted a natural inclination to poetry-- have never been able to match earth ponies or pegasi in rock farming skill. We do believe that the unicorns’ special connection with the realms of magic-- which are so heavily associated with poetry-- in some way hinder their ability to connect with rocks in the same way earth ponies and pegasi do so easily.
Studies have also noted that earth ponies are naturally more proficient in the rock farming profession than pegasi, but this is accredited to the earth ponies’ intrinsic connection to the natural world. It is almost universally agreed that this difference in skill levels is not in any way related to the bizarre relationship that rock farming shares with poetry. No concrete evidence has been presented to prove that this is not the case.
What is most confusing about this relationship is that all signs point towards some natural balance between rock farming and poetry except for the appearance of poetic gifts in each and every rock farmer. When drawing conclusions from just the side of poetry it appears that the more skill a pony gains in poetry the less opportunity they have to adopt rock farming as another skill. Ponies with no initial interest in poetry can become great rock farmers, ponies with moderate skill in poetry can become acceptable rock farmers, and ponies who have an exceptionally poetic mind can never, ever, become rock farmers. This would seem to clearly indicate a simple relationship between the two skills in which presence of one leads to absence of the other. But when viewed from the side of rock farming, the apparent pattern simply vaporizes. Acquired skill in rock farming universally leads to various skill levels-- none below proficient-- in poetry. Furthermore, a pony’s level of skill in rock farming does not seem to directly influence their skill in poetry. For example, it seems even an amateur rock farmer can become a wondrous poet while a truly splendid rock farmer can become a poet only slightly above average, and vice versa.
Despite years of research there has been no real scientific explanation for this phenomenon yet discovered. When the all-knowing Celestia was questioned as to an answer she only gave her habitual response that telling us would be “cheating” and that “ponies should uncover the mysteries of the universe for themselves.”
So we are left clueless but undaunted. Though the challenge of unravelling this particular secret of the universe seem insurmountable, we have no doubt we will someday reach our goal. For now, while unable to clear this mystery, we may still enjoy the benefits of the rock farmers’ knack for poetry.
We have chosen this particular poem out the immeasurably voluminous stock of rock farmer poetry for we believe it most accurately represents the mystery surrounding this inexplicable relationship:
All my life is rocks.
Rocks are my life.
But there is more to my life than rocks,
despite how much rocks are my life.
There are always the words within rocks,
which fill my mind and fill my life.
And always I will keep the words within the rocks,
for the words are the rocks and the rocks are my life.
So my mind is filled with words and rocks,
which work in harmony to fill my life.
Yet there is more to words than rocks,
and the words are not my life.
The words are rocks.
Rocks are my life.
Author's Note
I wrote this for the Equestria Daily Writer's Training Ground #012. The prompt was "In Equestria, there's no such thing as a "simple" rock farmer."
I'm sorry that this isn't actually a story. I was very pressed for time so I just wrote whatever I could.
Enjoy, if you can. Thanks for reading!
