Heat Wave (Molestia x Anon)

by GatoYBeans

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Comedy, Random, Crossover
Length: 8124

Princess Celestia decides to go on anons offer and Celebrate Hearts N' Days with sexy time.

After centuries of being alone with no real love life to express she believes she doesn't have to be loved. But with the recent arrival of humans she would have never known that one of them would hit on her. And so she would like to reward him for his letter to be 'his' date…

Molestia is watching…

R.I.P The tumblr too.. Putos

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-18 13:40:06 UTC

Your Fucked!

It has been a while since you were thrust into the world that is Equestria.Turns out, many humans came before you as well.Inter-dimensional travel really got far.Humans settled in, and eventually melded with the pony society.You were quite late, many adventures you missed. Celestia made sure to welcome each human, but her sincerity is getting less and less.She used to greet each human by person- err, pony, but now, it was just a memorized, bored speech. She looked to you with the fake smile, the false interest of having you in Equestria. She often debated to stop doing such; it was like welcoming every single minotaur that entered Equestria. Everyday, she got reports from the humans about their technologies, systems and so on. She saw them all. She even saw the heart-felt letter about how the humans’ lives were changed by coming here. She was bored, at most. She sighed to herself, digging through the usual mountains of letters thanking her. Oh look, Jimmy got married. And there’s good ol’ Henry, he found a stallion of his dreams? Good for him. She shakes herself awake, and keeps going through the letters. Maybe something worthwhile could be in here, somewhere.

”Celestia?” A soft, feminine voice calls from behind.

Celestia sighs and turns to Cadance.

”What is it now, Cadance?”

”Well, tomorrow is Hearts and Hooves day and…”

”I think I’ll be too busy to join, dear.”

Celestia turns to her pile.

”Besides,” She continues. “I don’t even have a special somepony to go with anyway.”

”Oh.”

Celestia turns and shoots a smile.

”Don’t worry about me, dear niece; go enjoy yourself.”

You bite your pencil, and look up to the sky.

What to do, what to do.

Tomorrow was Hearts and Hooves day, something equivalent to Valentine’s Day back home.

You used to go with this girl but here…

Almost little to none female humans here.

For some reason, only specific males were brought in.

At least most of them were normal.

You glance over to your humble abode, and the small town beyond it.

Ponyville.

Other humans usually left for more developed areas, like Fillydelphia or even Canterlot.

You were too lazy to do anything, so you work with Twilight in the library.

She figured that would give her more time to research more about humans.

Guess who was her number one test subject?

”Come on, Anon- you done?”

You slowly turn to her and frown.

Do I really have to do this?

”Yeah! It’s customary for ponies to write letters to the ponies they like!”

I barely know any of the ponies here, let alone have any liking to them.

”Seriously, nopony?”

You shake your head.

The only ones I know really well are… Celestia and you, that’s it.

Celestia? No thanks to Twilight’s fangirlism.

Twilight then blushes lightly.

”So… write a letter for one of them, then.”

You bite your pencil again.

Fine.

You take a parchment, and quickly scrawl down a customary Hearts and Hooves letter.

There, done.

You hand the letter to Twilight.

She excitedly takes it, and jumps around.

”OHMYCELESTIATHANKYOUANONINEVERHAD-“

Uhm, Twilight?

”IFEELSOLONELYSOMETIMESAND-“

Twilight?

”YES?”

Are you going to send the letter or not?

Twilight’s brow furrows and she glances at the intended recipient.

’To; Celestia’

Twilight goes limp, and she blushes more.

”Oh. I thought…”

You give her your best poker face.

”Spike?”

The little, purple dragon comes in, covered in glitter.

”Twilight, I said I was busy making my card for Rarity!”

”Can you send this off to the Princess?”

Twilight clenches her teeth.

Spike waddles over and jumps, catching the letter off Twilight’s grasp.

How on earth did she do that anyway?

Spike blows a small puff of green flame, and the letter goes off.

While that happened, you slowly backed out of the library, avoiding the murderous gaze of that purple pony.

Celestia write off another letter.

”That is indeed great, Frank, I would have never known.”

Celestia was running out how to say ‘Good job.’

Then, in a burst of green flames, a letter fell out.

She glanced over it, reading your name.

oh boy here we go

She sighed, let’s get it over with.

She opened the letter.

”Dear Princess Celestia,” She read it aloud. “Since it’s Hearts and Hooves day-“

Celestia stopped there.

Nopony ever sent her a letter about Hearts and Hooves day.

She continued on.

”Since it is similar to Valentine’s day back home, I’ll just assume you are single and ask you, how would you like to be my-“

Special somepony?

You finish.

Dash’s laughs ring out through the bar.

Other ponies around you laugh as well.

You join in.

Yeah, but I’m half-expecting her to burn it before she even opened it, she’s probably sick of all of the letters from people these days.

The crowd laughs once more, before settling down, and away.

You take your drink, and get comfortable.

Rainbow was nice enough to invite you over to the local bar to grab some drinks, she’s cool like that.

You take a sip, and look around.

You try to stay sober, eyeing for possible events that might occur.

You needed your daily dose of laugh, anyway.

Tomorrow will be Hearts and Hooves, some holiday two wouldn’t give two shits about.

But hey, drinks are half-off that day.

You can’t complain about that.

You wake up to your alarm.

Looks like staying sober was a good thing!

You shift in your bed, trying to get up.

A certain weight holds your left arm down.

You turn to see…

Rainbow Dash?

You can obviously see she’s hammered.

Her ruffled mane, the heavy stench of alcohol, and her need to hump your arm.

You shout in surprise, and try to get the damn mare off your arm.

She groans, and goes back to her drunken sleep.

Guess you weren’t sober, after all.

Speaking of which-

You run to the bathroom, holding back your dinner.

You spew.

While your bloodcurdling noise of sick fills the room, Dash goes on to hump your pillow.

Fucking ponies.

Not literally.

You ‘dash’ out of your house, leaving the pony behind.

She won’t stop humping your bed post.

Ponies? A no-no.

You gracefully nope your way from your humble abode to Twilight’s library.

Huh, big crowd today.

Must be the new books you got last week.

Who knew so many ponies were interested in intestinal problems?

You push through the crowd, stepping on a tail or a two.

You finally reach the doors and-

What the magical nipples the guards were doing here?

They eye you carefully, as they try to subdue the crowd.

… Am I free to enter?

You ask, giving a sheepish smile.

They shoot you a disdaining stare.

WELL FUCK YOU I WORK HERE

You push the two off to the horde, and swing the door open.

As the crowd behind you cheers and eats the two guards alive, you turn to wave once.

You can hear the conversation behind you; you can make out Twilight’s voice.

And…

You trip on a rogue book.

You stagger, back hunched forwards.

As you scramble to get up, you rush forward; and then your land face-first to something soft.

It is also a bit wet, and warm, as you can tell.

Your nose dives into it, as the rest of your face is welcomed by a murky smell.

You hear a yelp of surprise, and you pull yourself away from whatever you landed in.

That voice through, so familiar…

You land on your ass, looking up.

Oh shit.

Fuck me.

You look up to see the white flank and the ethereal tail, flowing in its soft colors.

The picture of the sun on each cheeks and-

A shocked face of a certain princess looks down to you.

The magenta iris shrinks, as it lands upon you.

The air is especially cool on the tip of your nose; some sort of liquid is on it.

Oh lordy.

You blush brightly, as you stare down the shocked pony-princess.

Uhm, hello?

You ask, giving another sheepish grin.

You can see the blush forming on her face as well, and you look away.

”Well, it is great to see you- ‘face to face’, Anon.”

Celestia winks at you, before turning to Twilight.

Oh god what.

”Is there something wrong, Princess?”

”Oh, nothing, Twilight, Anon here just… Bumped into me, that’s all.”

Twilight shrugs, before going back to her conversation.

”So, what brings you to Ponyville today, Princess?”

You can see Twilight nervously bobbing her back leg, as she twitches once in a while.

”I was here to visit some ponies, that’s all, Twilight.”

You slowly make yourself scarce, and then two great hooves grab your arms.

You look up to see the two guards, armor destroyed by the horde, looking down on you with intent to kill.

You grin innocently, and shrug.

I don’t suppose you guys have any napkin?

You feel the heavy thud of the used metal crushing behind you.

You then sprawl to the ground, and the stench of rotting trash hits you square in the face.

The two guards comes up, poised to do whatever the hell they do.

But you are Anonymous!

You are LEEEJUN!

You quickly kick up to your feet, only to fall face first.

You then gracefully do a barrel-roll and push yourself up, ready to fight.

You put up your dukes, and do a bit of air-fisting.

Yeah, you still got them.

Lefty especially, someone’s getting some love tonight.

But Righty too, he gets lonely.

The two guards look visibly scared at your superior strength and posture.

”What the buck is this guy doing?”

”He might have rabies, do you think he’ll bite us?”

”That’s why Celestia invented armors, my good pony.”

Now that you have instilled fear, you need to finish this.

You bare your teeth, turn up your heels and-

Run the fuck away.

No way in hell you can fight two heavily armored stallions.

What are you, an idiot?

Well, there was this time you bleached your pet hamster for shits and giggles.

You take a sharp corner, and sprint for all of your worth.

Being the weak, lazy moron you are; you are quickly out of breath.

You gasp and huff into the crowd of ponies.

Yes, let’s blend with the crowd.

You go all assassin, and go into the crowd.

Ha-ha, they will never notice y-

”There’s that idiot!”

”What is he doing?”

You look around.

You blended perfectly!

You even started a conversation!

The pony, about your waist high, tugs at your arms.

”Sir, I think they are calling for you.”

You quickly make yourself scarce.

You just don’t know what went wrong.

As you run, you are yanked off ground.

Goddamn pony magic.

”There you are, Anonymous! I was wondering when you will be back.”

You just hang there, upside-down.

Oh, nothing, just hanging around.

Why must she choose your ankles as the holding point?

I mean, there are much better places to hold.

AMIRITE LEFTY?

Wait no; that would be disgusting.

Not with horses.

Shit, did you say that aloud?

”What’s that, Anon?”

Errr, nothing.

”Good! You’re coming to Canterlot with me.”

Wait, what?

”For the dinner I mentioned?”

You pause.

Is this a Hearts and Hooves thing?

Wait, fuck, you’re talking aloud again.

BANANAS ARE EXCELLENT SOURCE OF POTASSIUM

”You think so, Anonymous?”

Celestia slowly drags you to her ready carriage, doors open.

You then realize the shit you’ve jumped into.

You turn a pleading eye to Twilight, and cup your hands together.

You mouth out ‘help me’ to her, but she just smiles at your pain.

You jump and kick to the magic as hard as possible.

There is this certain survival instinct tells you that you are going to get anal crusaded.

The grip loosens, and you fall to the ground.

You slowly crawl away, into the safety of the crowd.

You will blend perfectly now.

Then the fucking magic kicks in.

Why can’t it be like that grubby hands of the man-lady?

Wait, not getting there.

You grip on the dirt path, holding onto dear life.

But the weak dirt soon gives away, and you find yourself being dragged.

As the ground is marked with your fingers, you can’t help but to scream for dear life.

GUYS HELP

The ponies just stare at you blankly.

COME ON GUYS

You are getting closer to the princess, and her death-mobile.

You sweat vigorously, and you glance back and forth.

I WANT TO LIVE

You are thrown inside the carriage, and the door closes.

The ponies pass each other humored glances, before you kick open the door one last time.

I WANT TO LIVE!

The magic pulls you in, and the door closes.

You pant like an idiot, and sit in the corner.

The magical vehicle flies off, there’s no turning back now.

Welp.

You turn to Celestia, who is looking at you kinda strange.

You… alright, Princess?

You ask.

She just blinks slowly, holding her lustful stare.

She had practice with this.

Celestia keeps her face straight.

Hope all of that practice at the mirror and on the guards be worth it.

You can barely hold your poker face, as Celestia never takes her gaze off you.

”So, what were you saying about bananas again?”

She prods you gently, before ushering out a bushel of bananas.

”Tell me Anon.”

You sweat more, as your face spells NOPE

”Do you”

She inches closer.

”Like bananas?”

She licks her lips.

She then watches your expression, which can be seen as ‘scared shitless’

Then she smiles warmly, and laughs heartily.

”Oh Anon, you should see your face.”

You calm down a bit.

Must stay… Clam.

Yes, draw upon the insensitive nature and under-developed mind of a sea-invertebrate and feel nothing.

She then takes a banana, and slowly opens it.

Is she?

NOOOO

Eye contact.

She then slowly encases the fruit with her tongue, wrapping it with her luscious tongue.

Wait whut.

No.

She finally bites in, still maintaining eye contact.

Why boner?

She smiles at your squirming, and she does this in different ways, with different bananas.

She even ran her tongue down the side of the fruit.

This is going to be a long day.

As soon as the wooden vehicle lands with a thud, you run out like a madman.

Of course, your desperate attempts to escape are in vain.

Her magic simply hoists you back into place.

As soon as she stops, you run like an autist.

And the cycle goes on.

Celestia walks gracefully to the castle, not forgetting to put you in place.

Quite literally, at her side.

She smiles warmly at you.

What is she playing at?

Guards look rather confused, glancing back and forth between you and Celestia.

She just laughs it off, and the guards ignore you.

”Anon, it’s just a dinner, no need to fret.”

Her voice is soothing and calming.

Maybe it was a joke?

You tell yourself it’s a joke.

But your left kidney says otherwise.

And you kidney is always right.

If it can process piss, it can do anything.

You are led into a small room, which led to another small room.

What were the architects smoking?

Celestia finds another pair of her golden shoes ready in that room.

She simply jumps into a new set, and continues her path.

Servants quickly come over and take the dirtied ones away.

How would you call that-

A white blur moves on to you, pushing you.

You soon find yourself pinned to the wall.

The necklace is crushing your breastbone.

As you gasp for air, you feel a puff of warm breath on your face.

Celestia slowly curls her neck over your cheek and whispers to your ear.

”Just a dinner…”

Then she starts nibbling at your ear.

You just can’t help shivering.

You want to scream, but you’re too scared to move.

Your mouth is frozen in place.

Why me god, why me.

Of all those humans out there…

Celestia pulls away quickly, and regains her composure.

You make eye contact by accident.

She winks at you, and licks her lips.

Then she walks on as if nothing happened.

It takes you about ten minutes to get your mind back running.

Your first instinct is to run like hell.

You try to door you came in through, but it’s locked.

”A-non~”

Ohjesuslordchristmothermarysue.

You turn slowly, and see the solar princess waiting for you.

”You’re going to be late.”

Before you can even answer, you are magic’ed out.

Figures.

She’s controlling you legs, and you slowly move forward.

For a quadruped, she sure knows how you work.

You inch closer and closer.

Then Celestia turns around.

Then you see it.

And you are slowly coming to it.

Hehe, coming.

Not the time, man.

Her tail lifts slightly, anticipating your approach.

”Just stick right behind me, you won’t get lost.” Celestia whispers, in a seductive tone.

”Sister!”

GODSEND

Luna flies into view, landing in front of Celestia.

”Good to see you again, Luna!” Celestia leans in for a pony-hug.

To see her neck turn that way again…

You shudder.

Luna then spots you.

”I-is-is that Anonymous?”

You smile and wave.

Wait no; you must make your escape.

You run back into the small room, frantically searching for an escape route.

Servants’ door? Locked.

You glance to the window.

Maybe if you’d just punched it right…

Luna pokes away from her sister’s conversation to look at you, and returns to her sister.

”Him? Your special somepony?”

Luna pokes out to the human again.

Is he kicking the window?

Why would he go for a magically enchanted ‘unbreakable’ window?

Luna frowns, and stares at her sister.

”Well, it is your choice…”

You tire after the first few kicks.

Okay, these ponies were good.

Maybe Luna could save you?

Good plan, it looks like a completely flawless plan, Anon.

I know, right?

You rush to Celestia’s side, and stare intently to Luna.

"Luna.” You whisper, cupping your hand so that Celestia couldn’t hear.

She turns to you, and raises her ear.

“Help. Me.”

She looks confused.

“HELP.”

You take a breath.

“MEEEEE.”

”Sister, why is Anon asking for help?”

GODDOMMOT WOONA

Celestia flicks her head to you.

”Help? He doesn’t need help at all…” She grins.

It feels like your left nut just shrunk.

Luna thinks for a while, examining you.

No, you dumb bitch, help me GET THE FUCK OUT

”Oh, yeah, he needs help alright.”

There we go.

”I mean, look at his clothes!”

Now, if we could just get a pho-

What.

Celestia backs away, and looks you over.

”Excellent point sister, Anon here do need help with his clothes.”

Luna, you fucking-

”He needs to get out of it…” Celestia pokes her tongue out a little.

Luna is still thinking.

”Yeah, he needs to, maybe a tie?”

The obliviousness is almost painful.

Of all that time you could be innocent, you just had to pick now.

Dammit, Luna.

”Come Anonymous, I’ll find you new attire.”

Luna motions you over, and turns to her sister.

”Sister, maybe you could oversee the dinner?”

”Of course! It needs to be –perfect-“

Luna nods, and smiles.

”Don’t worry! Anonymous here would be dashing!”

Luna pats your chest.

Celestia parts from the group, and goes over wherever she’ll go.

You walk with Luna.

As soon Celestia goes out of view, you turn to Luna.

"LUNA.”

”What is it?”

“You have to help me.”

”I am! We’re getting you-“

“Nononono, not that- it’s Celestia.”

Luna furrows her brow.

“Celestia. Is. Trying. To. Rape. Me.”

You make sure you put emphasis on each word.

Luna pauses, and thinks.

Come on, get those gears moving.

Then Luna starts laughing.

She laughs for a while, and wipes a tear.

”Oh, Anonymous, your humor is palpable.”

You give you best look of disapproval.

"I’m not kidding.”

”Please, Celestia is the wisest, kindest, most loving pony of all Equestria.”

“Is that why she sent you to the moon?”

Luna twitches.

Looks like you hit a nerve.

Luna immediately jumps on you, her wings flared.

You can practically taste the anger coming from her expression.

”YOU DO NOT SPEAK OF THAT!”

Yep, a nerve.

A big, big, sensitive nerve.

You know that nerve of on your knee?

The one where it kicks up if you hit it?

That nerve.

Right to your face.

She is fuming, and her breathing is much harder.

“I-I’m sorry.”

Luna slows her breathing, and you can see tears dropping from the corners if her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

”It’s alright.”

She then breaks down, and cries into your chest.

Great.

More pony hugging.

You give her an awkward pat, trying not to be impaled by the horn.

Damn these horny horses.

You just hope they don’t get in the heat.

That was a joke.

After a few more minutes of awkward hugging, Luna finally let go.

”Come fair Anonymous,”

She sniffles.

”Let us go find some fitting attire.”

“Hey, as long as I’m not getting ass chaps, I’m okay with it.”

She doesn’t get the joke.

”What is an ‘ass chaps’?”

“Nothing.”

Soon enough, you reach the royal tailors.

You didn’t even know ponies had tailors.

You’d imagine it to be similar to fetish players back home.

Sure, they are a godsend to those specific people, but not to all.

A niche, you’d say.

Why are you even thinking about this.

You are led into a small room, surrounded with mirrors.

A solitary mare is looking awfully bored in there.

”He requires new attire.” Luna blurts out, and pushes you into the room.

Before you can react, the door closes, and you are hoisted up to the air-

Why must the ponies think you are some sort of ragdoll?

But you bet you’d make an awesome action figure.

Fabrics of all kind surround you, as the mare carefully glances between each of them.

”How would you like some red with that look? Or some blue?”

“Look, I just need to-“

”I know! Purple!”

After a few agonizing minutes of rag-tag dressing, the mare finally settles with your call.

A plain white shirt.

With a white suit jacket.

With frills.

With a tie.

“Is this all necessary?”

The mare pauses for a while.

”Of course! It’s all about the style!”

You grunt and take off the jacket.

You roll up the sleeves.

There, less looking like an idiot now.

You figure this is the best you can look so you decide to roll with it.

Look at little Anon, all dressed up for his rape.

You don’t even know yourself now.

Luna is already waiting for you right outside of the dining hall.

Yes, you asked for directions.

Luna stops you, and ‘stands’ up, balancing her forelegs on your chest.

”Wait, you can’t go in like that!”

She makes amends to your hair, brushing it sideways with her hoof.

She then uses her magic to move your ruffled hair more, scrunching her face as she did so.

It was kinda cute.

She motions you to lower yourself, which you blindly obey.

She then pokes her tongue out in dedication, as she works on your hair.

A hairclip and more struggling later, she backs off, looking satisfied.

”There!”

You shake your head, turning it back to its place.

Luna sighs, and then grits her teeth.

She uses her magic to force you back in place, meddling about with your hair again.

You will not stand for this.

Because you are not standing, technically.

You jerk your knee forward, hoping for a reprieve.

Your foot connects with one of Luna’s hind legs, and causes her to topple.

She lands on top of you, losing her focus.

As a result, you fall as well.

”Aren’t you kiddies having fun?”

You look up to see Celestia, who is in her own dress.

And here you thought ponies didn’t wear clothes.

She smiles at her little sister, as she hoists the two of you up.

Celestia had her long mane tied to a pony tail, her pony tail to a pony tail too!

God, this was confusing.

She was cu-

BAD THOUGHTS, ANON

Celestia notices you noticing her, and she moves in closer, for a better view.

”Like what you see?”

She winks.

Haha, nope.

You rush into the dining hall, avoiding her gaze altogether.

You spot the gold-embroidered cushion on one side.

From the picture of the sun on it, you are guessing it is Celestia’s.

And you’re right, Celestia goes right to it.

She makes eye contact, and pats the space right by her.

You smile, and shoot finger pistols at you.

She does the same, raising her hooves.

You then TROLOLOLOL to the far side of the table, taking a seat there.

You sit awkwardly on the provided cushion- but damn, this was soft.

And lo you get spaghetti.

Somehow, you’re not surprised.

You poke it with the provided fork.

Gods, they had no meat in here.

And they expected you to eat this shit.

You jab it in eventually, and slowly lift it up.

You feel a brush on your knees.

You look down to catch a glimpse of that pastel-rainbow mane.

It simply dissipates through your clothes, and brushes against your knees.

You immediately tense up.

How did she know you were ticklish down there?

”Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned to not to prod around my friends- especially Anonymous. Who knew he had such ticklish knees?”

Celestia sighs, and signs the letter.

What on Equestria would she do with that?

She could do anything with that!

Celestia giggles to herself, seeing how you shuddered every time she ‘touched’ you.

Oh, she was going to have fun tonight.

You are not having fun tonight.

Every time you tried to take a bite, she kept on brushing her tail on you.

You find yourself scrunching your face in annoyance, trying to eat.

You were starving after that shouting session.

You lift the fork once more time, holding it close to your mouth.

Celestia smirks, and goes in for the kill.

You quickly kick back, pushing the cushion backwards.

The tail misses.

“Ha!”

You point and shout in victory.

Before you can put in more words, you are met with pony butt to your face.

You just sit there, one hand up, face buried in marehood.

Considering your odds, you’d consider yourself lucky-

Just not with magical horses.

”OH MY, Anon, I never thought you’d be so ‘open’ about this.”

Celestia lets out a throaty chuckle.

You try to dig out, but damn, she ate a lot of cake.

You finally get some footing with your hands, and push her off.

And at that moment, the musicians come in.

You hear a loud ‘poof’, and find yourself all clean.

Your face doesn’t even smell like horse piss.

Your cushion is back in place- as if you were enjoying the dinner normally.

Celestia is back on the other side, maintaining her regal posture.

She takes small bites and chews silently, as you watch in surprise.

What the hell just happened?

”Oh, Anonymous dear- are you not hungry?”

You can’t find words to retort that.

You twitch once, and grab your fork.

And there it is, all clean and unused.

What is Celestia playing at?

You maintain eye contact with her, as you take some of the pasta.

She watches you intently, doing nothing but to smile warmly.

You can’t argue with her change in mood.

You take a bite, and start chewing.

Screw the lack of meat, this is good!

You take another bite.

Maybe it is because you were starved for the day.

Nonetheless, you were starting to enjoy the meal.

After your fifth bite, you notice sprinkling dust falling out of the spaghetti.

Your eyes go wide and you dig through it, finding those dust everywhere.

You know what that is.

Angel Du-

Anonymous fell face first to the meal, knocked out.

Celestia smiles, and puts her hooves together.

All according to plan.

And what do you know…

This one is actually paying off.

She walked over to the human.

”Anonymous, so tired already?” She coos.

She lifts your unconscious body up, wiping the sauce from your face and body.

She then hoists you on her body, and start to trot away.

”So be it, Anonymous…”

She lets out her laugh again, as she exited to dining hall.

You feel weightless.

Not like some lame movie one-liner- actually weightless.

Wait, no- you can feel the put on your back.

It’s getting stronger and-

“AAARGH”

You shout, as you wake.

You land backwards on the soft ground, fazed.

You were falling.

You look around, noticing the large, circular bed.

Wait a minute brain, are you trying to cheat me again.

You run your finger through the sheets.

Yep, that’s real.

Definitely not like yours, though.

You sit up, and look around some more.

You can see the bookracks and a desk on the far side of the room-

To the other side, you can see the double doors to the balcony.

You can see a certain design on the walls and the carpet-

It looks like…

SUN

You yelp, and back away.

You’ve seen enough of that picture to last you a lifetime.

Look at you, mentally scarred already.

You’ll never get rid of that taste ever again.

You continue backing up, until you hit something soft.

Two white wings wrap you, and you suddenly feel claustrophobic.

”Well, hello there, Anonymous…”

Celestia whispers to your ear.

She then starts nibbling again, getting more shudders from you.

You shoot up and start backing away- the other way.

Nonononono, can’t we talk about this?”

Celestia smiles, as she leans onto you.

”I don’t think we need talking, Anon.”

Her forelegs are over your shoulders, with her body laid all over yours.

She then leans in for a kiss.

Of course, you’re just left there stunned.

She goes in again, but this time her tongue invading your mouth.

You jump, and try to fight back.

And you just did the opposite.

You started using your tongue as well.

Celestia gasps slightly at your new found ‘enthusiasm’.

You try to reason with her, but only thing you could have done is to let out some muffled words and lots of rubbing.

Apparently, she found that hot.

Goddamn Molestia.

She tries to go in deeper, and you panic.

You bite down.

You then taste iron.

Celestia pulls back, and examines her wounded tongue.

She quickly heals it, and begins to give you those bedroom eyes.

”Oh~ Anonymous~”

Goddammit.

"Celestia, princess, I don’t thi-“

She ignores you, and goes in for round two.

Your eyes go wide, and you can only tap her neck wildly.

You can hear her laugh.

And then, your boys come to attention.

Yes, that was a euphemism.

DAMMIT STOP IT BONER

No.

YOU’LL UNDO US ALL

Celestia notices the bulge on your pants, and gets more excited.

Hey, this isn’t half ba-

BAD THOUGHTS, ANON

Celestia lets go again, and pulls her head back.

”Anon, you’re such a naughty boy.”

Haha, NOPE

You quickly slip out of her grasp, and book it.

You kick the door-

And of course, it’s locked.

You frantically search for an exit.

Celestia is just smiling at you, slowly rising to her hooves.

”Anon, please be a dear and massage me.”

You smile and shoot finger pistols at her, before booking it again.

You kick the balcony door open, and run out.

Anywhere but here.

You look down, only to realize you are pretty high up.

That must be at least a ten story fall.

And you are not going to kill yourself over it.

”Anon~ I found the lotion~”

Yes you are.

You perch yourself, and put your arms out.

Leap of fai-

You trip.

You lose your form, and start to scream like a little bitch.

Lucky for you, you land on the roof tiles.

Your left side is crying out to you, but you pay no mind.

Better than having a banana up your ass.

Wait, what?

You run again, only to trip on the polished tiles.

You fall again.

You curl up into a ball.

Welp, it was a good ride, Anon.

You say your prayers.

You hit the ground, but-

Why aren’t you in million pieces?

You open your eyes to see the glass cracking under your weight.

That was a low fall.

How did you miss that?

The cracks grow wider.

"Well, shi-“

The glass gives out, and you fall again.

Your fall is cut short again by the soft ground.

Even your face is on something soft.

GOD SEND!

Looks like the universe is cool with you killing yourself.

You feel around, getting the same sensation of Celestia’s bed.

Oh cool- another bed.

You then touch something slightly harder, and it suddenly retracts, with a yelp.

Oh boy.

It’s one of Celestia’s traps, isn’t it?

At least this pillow is warm.

… Wait, why is this so warm?

This is no pillow.

You look up slowly, to face Luna blushing up a storm.

You look down to her stretched legs.

This must be some sort of an 80’s porn groove.

What. The. Fuck.”

Celestia licks her lips from the balcony, watching your descent.

Oh, this was going to be fun.

The two of you shoot up, and drag yourselves to each end of the bed.

“Princess! I didn’t mean-“

”OUT.”

Luna shrinks into her corner, pulling the blanket over her.

She’s still pointing at her chamber door, her face coat in whole new color.

You quickly oblige, and make yourself scarce.

As you rush to the door, you feel a pull on your back.

And before you know it, you are pulled upwards.

You leave Luna’s room the same way you entered it, through the glass.

You scream as the air rushes around you, and you are thrown back into Celestia’s room.

You land on her bed- and at that moment, she leaps on you.

”Gotcha!”

She giggles.

”You don’t think jumping out of the window would get you out of this, did you?”

You gulp.

Well, there goes plan B.

"Celestia, please stop.”

You raise a hand to stop her.

“Can’t you just let me go?”

Okay, that was not your best line.

And it was a cheap-shot, you have to admit.

You mentally slap yourself for being such an idiot.

To be fair, that’s what got you in this mess in the first place.

Wait.

Celestia back up a little, and places a hoof under her chin.

She’s… Considering it?

”Fine, on one condition.”

Your left nut just twitched, so this must be a bad thing.

She whispers to your ear.

”You give me a good night.”

You cringe at the thought.

”Either that, or I’ll keep you forever.”

You think for a moment.

Surely this one moment wouldn’t be that bad…

NO WHAT ARE YOU THINKING CRACKA

This is a magical horse.

A goddamn, talking horse.

”So, what would it be, Anon?”

You bite your lip.

”You go down on me, or would you just go down?”

“F-fine.”

You see a glint in her eyes, as she slowly licks her lips.

”Excellent…”

She turns over, leaving her on the bottom.

”Make sure you use your hands…”

You shiver.

You slowly run your hands over her soft coat, moving them along her ribs and to her wings.

”Higher…” She whispers.

You go under the closed wing, feeling the brush of the feathers.

You finally reach the joint where the wing is connected to the body, and begin to massage it.

Yes, you had no fucking clue what you were doing.

Celestia seemed to like it, seeing how her wings flared out.

Well, you were in for a long night.

You try tickling her as you progress through the wings.

She yelped and kicked you in the face.

… Not doing that again.

A hoof stops your path once you reach the tip of the wing, and realign your hands to her flank.

Before you can ask what’s going on, two hooves slowly push to down.

You knew where this was going.

”I hope you can spell, Anonymous…”

Your face slowly skids down, and to be frank, the coat felt nice on your face.

And then the feeling went away.

Your chin felt something else, and soon your mouth was over it.

You close your eyes, not wanting to see what is to unfold.

”Now, Anonymous… Spell ‘A’.”

What on earth was she-

Oh. OH.

Fuck.

You slowly poke your tongue through, getting the odd taste.

OH GOD IT TASTES WORSE THAN THE SMELL

You slowly move it into position, and begin to draw out the letter.

Celestia seems pleased, given from her noises.

You try to drown the noise out.

You begin to spell your name, seeing how it started with ‘A’.

When you reach ‘Y’, the nightmare began.

Her opened legs suddenly clamp down, trapping you in the genital lock.

You scream in your head, still afraid to stop.

Celestia is literally having a fit now.

Her forelegs are over your head, trying to stop you- or keep you there.

You’ve never been a religious man, but here you are, praying for your life.

The grip tightens, forcing you deeper.

You can barely breathe, catching whiffs of air.

Now you’re spelling ‘Celestia’.

You can feel her getting warmer by the second.

Her screams are getting louder now.

She suddenly quiets down, and your entire face feels warm.

A strange smell invades your nose.

Her thighs loosen, and you pull back, trying to breathe again.

The air feels cooler on your face, and you touch your nose in reflex.

You feel… Liquid?

Ohjesustittyfuckingchrist.

”Oh, that was real nice, Anonymous.”

Emphasis on ‘real’.

Celestia covered you in her magic, and slowly lifted you over her.

"I thought we had a deal!”

”We did. I’m not pleased yet.”

“Like that screaming?”

”That’s because you’re so cute.”

She kisses you in the cheek once, before dropping you onto her body.

You try to move to a better position, ironically massaging her better than you did before.

She moaned, and looked over you.

And in a blink of an eye, Celestia rips away all of you clothes.

You look down to see a whyboner.

You look to Celestia in horror, who has this smug look on her face.

”I knew you’d enjoy it.”

Before you can conjure up an insult, she quickly turns over, trapping you with her body.

”Now, time for me to return the favor.”

She grins, before slowly lowering herself.

What could she-

You feel a pressure on your tip, and soon, it was engulfed into the warm body.

You can’t help shivering at the sensation.

“Celestia, n- EUARGH”

She takes you in all the way, shutting you up for good.

”Do you like that, Anon?”

She starts to move sideways, tickling your sensitive spot.

Your jims. Your poor jims.

You are paralyzed; the feeling underneath with her coat rubbing against your skin is-

Amazing.

Celestia notices your expression, and her grin gets bigger.

”So you ARE enjoying this.”

No I’m-“

She pumps once, and you squeak.

She giggles, before her playful smile comes along.

She does it again, and again.

You try to resist it, but your penis is winning out.

”You were saying?”

Celestia comes in for a kiss, and once again invades your mouth.

You find yourself being more willing this time, trailing along her long tongue.

You discover all kinds of tastes, as your taste buds frolic upon hers.

Celestia certainly approves this new approach, given by her grunts and moans.

You slowly move your hands from her legs, to her flank.

You grasp onto it, and pull it towards you.

Celestia yelps once, but resumes her kiss.

You thrust again, much harder this time.

And before you know it, you are in a rhythmical move.

It slowly picks up, and you thrust deeper and deeper.

Your bishop moves across the board and takes the black queen.

The ship docks in the port in high waves.

The train was entering the tunnel.

Yes, the writer was running out of euphemisms.

You feel it slowly building up, until you can’t hold back any more.

Celestia is bobbing madly, getting her natural lubricant all over you.

This was absolute hell.

And you were enjoying it.

And in one final thrust, you let it all out- stopping your movements almost instantly.

Celestia’s wings flare out, and she lets out one final gasp.

Celestia stops as well, before resting her tired head on you.

She still has that smug look on her face, now lined with sweat.

You too, gasp for air, tired from that ruckus.

"C-can I go?”

Celestia does not respond, only lying on top of you.

With her body on you, you were doomed to stay for the night.

Your eyelids grow heavy soon enough, and you fall asleep.

You wake to the light chirping of the birds, and the warm sunlight in the room.

You drag yourself up, your attire all across the room after last night.

You sigh and go over to pick up your clothes, lazily putting them on.

You look around the room, finding to trace of Celestia.

Good.

You immediately rush over to the chamber door, trying it.

It won’t budge.

She locked you in.

That white horse devil.

You contemplate on kicking the door open, if not to a certain odor reaching your nose.

You turn to see a prepared breakfast.

It smells delicious.

You spot two loaves of bread, some jam, an omelet, and a glass of milk.

Your stomach growls, and your desire to escape becomes secondary.

You shallow the spit gathered in your mouth, and you sit on the prepared chair.

Picking up a fork, you dig in immediately.

The taste.

It is.

HEAVENLY

You dig in to the omelet, taking bites of the toast as well.

OH GOD YOU CAN’T STOP

You also remember to wash down the food with the milk.

It feels a bit base, but it is enjoyable nonetheless.

You feel so… happy.

Amazing how humans are so easily impressed.

You quickly finish the breakfast, and lean on the back of the chair, satisfied.

You sip the milk, enjoying view for the first time.

You feel a smile creeping up your face, as you enjoy the cool mountain air.

Celestia may be a deprived rapist, but she knows her locations.

Speak of the devil, you hear something land behind you.

You know who it is.

”Boo!” Celestia nudges you slightly.

You turn around, to face the giddy sun goddess.

"Good morning, Celestia.”

”Aren’t you happy, Anonymous?”

"After that breakfast, nothing can kill my mood.”

You smile, and lean on a wall.

You also take another sip the milk, and point at Celestia with your cup.

Celestia has this shit-eating grin on her face.

“What?”

”Oh nothing.” Celestia moves closer, until she’s just an inch away from you.

Oh, that is not going to work.

You had enough of that closure last night.

You take another sip, the warm milk touching your lips.

”It’s my breast milk.” Celestia whispers.

You reactively do a spit-take, and drop the glass.

Celestia is laughing her ass off, as you choke on the floor.

”I’m kidding, Anonymous.” She winks at you.

Celestia coos, before patting your back.

You cough once more, and convince yourself she was kidding.

As soon as you regain your composure, Celestia plops down on her bed.

”Time for another round, Anonymous.”

“No.”

”Yes, remember the deal?”

“The hell I do. You said I’m free to go when you’re satisfied.”

”Do I look satisfied?”

Celestia points at herself, as you slap yourself mentally for falling to a such trick.

”Tell you what. You do good this time, I might consider it.”

"I don’t have a choice in this, don’t I?”

”No, no you don’t.”

You sigh, and sit next to Celestia.

”That’s the spirit! Better if you learn to enjoy it, Anonymous.”

Hopefully, Twilight will come to your aid soon.

Twilight woke up on the bright shiny morning.

She happily hopped to the kitchen, as she looked over the latest shipment of books.

Celestia sent her fifteen new tomes!

She then paused for a second, wondering if something might be off.

She glanced over to the empty seat where Anonymous sat and worked every day, and then to her books.

Nope, nothing wrong.

TO THE BOOKS!

Celestia holds out her horn, pointing it at you.

“… What?”

You awkwardly hold her horn with your hand.

”No!” Celestia yells.

You let go immediately.

”Use your tongue…”

As once a great man once said; Jesuschristonawaferthincracker.

You cringe as your tongue touches the tip of her horn, and you slide it to your side.

No way you’re taking that in your mouth, you could impale yourself.

You feel the grooves on the bony structure, quickly trailing down to the base of the horn.

Judging by the moans from Celestia’s side, you’re doing a good job.

”F-faster!” She yells.

You resist the urge to bite down in fear; you just might awaken some hidden fetish or something.

You comply with her command, picking up speed.

Your tongue wraps around the horn.

Funny, if you didn’t know any better, you’d say you knew how this worked.

You shallow your pride, and continue to give Celestia something that equates to female blowjob.

Wanting to even the odds of awkwardness, you lock eyes with Celestia.

She stares back silently, watching you as you continued your ‘journey’.

Oh god what.

Celestia whines in pleasure once, before making eye contact again.

She silently mouths out two words.

”… Sex package…”

And with that, she is on her edge.

Her moans grow fast, as your bobbing speeds up as well.

You see a glow on the tip of her horn, her magical aura slowly covering her horn.

You take that as a cue and back away, but Celestia quickly pushes you back to her horn with a hoof.

”I-I’m so c-close…”

You push down the fear and continue your licking.

A hand goes up and holds the horn, following your mouth’s movements.

Celestia’s moaning louder now, only to stop to let out ragged breaths.

Finally, the collected magic disperses, rays of light shooting out of her horn.

You think she came.

Celestia is still in her euphoric state, still gasping.

She suddenly pulls you down for a deep kiss.

You could only let out a muffled groan to protest, and like always, it is in vein.

When she pulls away and you vision clears once more, you notice her room glowing white.

“Errr, what is that, Celestia?” You point at the star-bright ceiling.

She blushes for once, and looks away.

”It’s… Every heard of magical discharge, Anon?”

You shrug.

“Look, if I wanted to know about-“

”Think of it as cum.”

That shut you up.

“What would’ve happened if I got hit with it?”

Celestia giggles, tapping your shoulder.

”Let’s not get there…”

It was a clear field.

The smell of dirt and assorted flowers fill your nostrils.

It was almost intoxicating.

But here you were, rolling within it.

Tall grass poke around you, and some prick on your back.

It would’ve hurt, if you weren’t wearing any clothes.

And then suddenly, your shirt is gone.

Your eyes widen is surprise, and you look up.

You see your belt come to life and pull away.

Your pants are pulled down to your ankle.

Your boxers are almost disintegrated.

It will be missed.

You turn and twist on your position, but for some benign reason, you are stuck fast.

You know how this will end- all too well.

A thick, wet feeling goes up from your groins, up to your stomach and chest.

You audibly cringe and turn away from its path, getting the wet touch on your cheek.

You can hear the familiar giggle ringing above you.

"Celestia…”

You push the weight off you, and the world goes poof.

You rise from your bed, mind still jumbled up.

A white hoof pokes out from the side of the bed, trying to lift its owner up.

And in a split second, Celestia is on you now.

”It’s whippin’ time!” Celestia lifts all kinds of sex toys.

"No, Celestia no!”

You retreat to the corner of the bed and curl into a fetal position.

Protecting your face with your forearms, you hear the she devil slither to you.

”You cannot run from the inevitable, Anon…”

You want to run.

But running will only delay the inevitable, like she said...

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