Chapter one: Rock hard love
The Equestrian morning glow flows seamlessly through the window of Maud Pie's guest bedroom in the sweets shop that her sister, Pinkie, provided for her. The grey mare woke up with half lidded eyes in front of her, lay her pet rock, Boulder.
"Alright, Boulder. I have to go see my sister. May I tell you a poem?" Maud said to her favorite rock
Boulder nodded stiffly as if he were a rock... Oh wait. He is.
Maud cleared her throat some how in her monotone voice "Oh Boulder, you're a rock. But a good, grey rock. You are almost too grey, but I can't control that. Boulder. You are a rock"
Boulder happily cheered... But silently. As he should. Because he is a rock.
Maud looked at the clock and kinda widened her eyes because the time was 7:00, the time she was meeting with Pinkie.
"Oh no! I have to go. I enjoy your presence, Boulder" She said before she trotted off and left Boulder alone with his thoughts.
Tom sat in the forest, lingering thoughts of the entire Discord ordeal sat in his lack of head. Word was spreading with the rocks in town that a new rock in town named Boulder had came from the rock farm a few miles ahead. Somehow, Tom was curious about what this rock so he decided to look around town for him.
Hours of looking around, Tom found the house in which Boulder resided with his mare friend and owner, Tom slammed his face on the door which is the equivalent of knocking in the rock world because of lack of arms... Or hooves.
Boulder somehow opened the door and was greeted by Tom's staggering hight.
"Uhm... Rock rock rock rock?!" Boulder said worriedly which was the equivalent to saying "Uhm... Tom! What are you doing here?!"
"I'm here to rock with you" Tom said, his grey color turning slightly red.
"You what?!?!" Boulder questioned with arousal buried in his lack of eyes.
"Let me in Boulder, we need to rock. I always rock new rocks in town" Tom stated.
"Uh... Fine... Just... Don't tell Maud" the small pebble said as he looked embarrassed.
Boulder somehow motioned Tom into the bakery shop and into Muad's guest room.
"Did you bring gravel?" Tom asked.
"Why, I don't do gravel" Boulder said worriedly.
"Damn. I guess we can rock later" The large bolder said in a sad tone.
"NO! Please! I will rock you on my own" Boulder said trying to convince Tom to rock him senseless.
"Fine..." Tom said as he sat down on Maud's bed, waiting for Boulder's first move.
Boulder some how got on the giant boulder's rock hard rock, making Tom moan slightly and with that, Boulder rubbed his rock on Tom's. The the faster Boulder did this, the more intensely Tom moaned.
"ROCK ME! ROCK ME HARDER!" Tom exclaimed in his rock hard state
And Boulder did just that. Rocked Tom much harder than he was.
"I don't think I can rock any longer!" Boulder, half breathed, from the hot as magma arousal.
And with that, lava sprayed everywhere from Tom and Boulder's rock holes.
"OH ROCK! HOW ARE WE GOING TO CLEAN UP THIS MAGMA!?" Tom said worriedly.
"Don't, I like it" Maud said sipping a rock and rock smoothie.
Author's Note
I think there is a special place in hell for me for writing this.
Tom and Boulder sat at their new home in the Everfee Forest, lava was smeared all over the walls because of their copious amounts of homosexual rock sex.
"Tom, Honey, where is Maud? I haven't heard from her after she found out about our relationship" Boulder said as he idly rocked himself.
"She is still living with us if I'm fully aware, she is probably making necklaces with our homosexual rock sex babies" Tom said as he read the newspaper
"Oh..." Boulder said, spraying lava everywhere.
ONE VIGOROUS ROCKING SESSION LATER!
"Tom! I think another homoe-ROCK-tic baby is pebbling!" The pebble screamed
"YES! Maud is going to be SO proud of us. Those rock candies sell so well to those ponies" Tom said as he cleaned up the lava that was left from their homoerotic rock session.
And with a few grinds and scrapes, 78 red, blue, yellow, and ultraviolet rock candies poured out of Boulder's swollen rock-hole.
With a crack, Maud trotted through the door and gathered the rock babies. "Thanks guys, your forceful rock sex is really helping business, these ponies love these necklaces" the grey mare said in her usual monotone voice.
"No problem, pal!" Boulder said, cuddling Tom sensually
"Does anypony know that those rocks are our love children?" Rock said, rocking Boulder
"Oh, no. Except for Pinkie being that she makes them too" Maud stated as she cleaned her hoof of the fluids that seeped out of Boulder and Tom's rocking session.
The writer of this fanfiction is interrupted by four suited executives, all from Hasbro. The suited executives drag the writer outside for questioning while one stays to read this horror of a fanfiction.
"DID YOU WRITE THIS?!" One the executives exclaimed, holding a printed version of the fanfiction
"Uhm...yesbutididn'tthinkitwouldmatter" The writer murmured
And with that, a helicopter lowered down with Tara Strong carrying a baton inside it, as the writer realized this, his fate was sealed.
The writer lay, handcuffed on the ground, two executives smashing a laptop, two watching as Tara Strong swings a baton, endlessly into the writer's face, screaming profanity and the words "STOP RESISTING"
And so, Boulder and Tom lived happily ever after and rocked each other and lived on a farm with their homoerotic love children.
Author's Note
Now I'm not only going to hell, I'm going to MAGICAL HELL!
