Hosting the Canterlot Equinox Concert was the apex of any musician’s career. Every year during the winter, votes are cast all over Equestria to choose which musical talent had the honor of running the largest public concert in Equestria on the night of the Spring Equinox. This year ponies from as far as Appaloosa and Las Pegasus were migrating to come see rising star DJ-Pon3 center stage at The Madhorse Club in west Canterlot.
Vinyl was ready and poised for the biggest night of her life. Madhorse was packed and throbbing with motion as she guided the evening through a lineup of heavy dance music and some special songs of her own design. The benevolent Princess Celestia sent her younger sister Luna to attend the event to help get her better acquainted with the modern night life. Scratch started the night off easy for her, opening upon Luna’s entrance with a tasteful remix of the Equestria National Anthem.
“Let’s hear it for our Princess of the niiight!” Vinyl called into her microphone as the dark blue Alicorn appeared with her entourage at the VIP balcony of the club.
The club lit up with cheers and Luna gave a mechanical wave as the DJ dropped the needle onto the turn table. The trumpet line at the start of the anthem was uncharacteristically formal for the atmosphere, but when the first drum line hit everypony knew the party was on.
Every party starts slow, and every party has wall flowers. Luna clearly had no idea what to do at a concert, and she was getting no help from her stiff and probably tone deaf guards.
“Come on everypony! This isn’t one of Tavi’s concerts, get up off your plots and move!” Vinyl stepped on one of the floor triggers under her table. A firestorm of sparks and lights erupted outwards from behind her, drawing all eyes center stage. “’If you’re not moving, you’re not living!”
After a few more songs Scratch looked up at the VIP balcony to see the princess had started to bob her head to the throb of the speakers. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.
The DJ set the next song on the table and muted her microphone. “I think it’s about time I started the real show.”
With a glow of her horn the dial on the floor safe stashed under her table spun to the appropriate numbers, then opened. She licked her dry lips as a set of four dusty records carefully drifted out of the safe and came to rest in orbit around her head. The four disks were minimally labeled in blue pen as ‘Command Synchrosim 1’, ‘Command Synchrosium 2’,’ Command Synchrosim 3’, and ‘Command Synchrosim 4’.
The last song ended leaving the party ponies waiting for the next beat to move to, but instead the blue haired DJ turned her microphone back on.
“How’s everypony doing tonight?!” Her question was met with a cacophony of excited cheers.
“Everypony ready for a REAL beat?!” A second wave of affirmative cries crashed through the club, even the princess joined with the crowd as the DJ worked them up with her jeers.
Vinyl’s face twisted into a grin as she levitated a pair of earplugs up to her ears to stick under her headphones. She unplugged her headset but kept the microphone on, and called out.
“If you say so! Let’s see if you ponies are ready for this!”
The DJ closed her eyes, unplugged her microphone, and laid each record onto the special made four record turn table. She put her faith in her music and held her breath as she lowered all four needles onto the spinning records at the exact same time.
The world was dark and quiet, but Vinyl Scratch could still feel the steady pulse through her entire body. Her lips moved as she spoke and focused her magic on the four disks in rhythm with the throbbing under her hooves. Nopony could hear her incantation over the sound of her masterpiece.
“On the night of balance between dark and light, all whom bear witness bow to my might. With my symposium of control played in harmony” the DJ opened her eyes to gaze down at the throbbing masses “I bring forth a new era with my enthralled army!”
The music grew faster, and the crowd was no longer a mass of disorganized thrashing bodies and drunk derelicts. Before her were twenty two perfect rows of ponies moving unanimously through the music. Vinyl felt her chest swell with pride as she looked to the VIP balcony to see the Princess and her guards had joined in the dance. The guards seemed to understand what was happening, but the poor naïve princess hadn’t caught on yet.
“Perfect, I don’t need her fighting the spell before it’s finished.” Scratch returned her eyes to the rows before her. “Let’s test this shit.”
The DJ rose a hoof and put it down on the forward left disk, number 3. The song de-synchronized and the left front leg of all the ponies before her froze in their dance. Scratch’s eyes lit up behind her goggles as she let out a sharp laugh. She spun the record forward, causing the arms of her thralls to move further ahead in the dance routine. She put her hooves on the other disks and began to play with the helpless ponies before her like a child playing with a new marionette puppet.
As the wretched song drew to its final few notes, the DJ split the rows down the center of the club to form an aisle. The last motion of the song left everypony poised and saluting with Princess Luna at the opposite end of the path from the stage. The DJ leaped from the stage with her cursed records in orbit around her. Marching proudly between her new saluting subjects she stopped before the usurped princess of the night.
Vinyl Scratch lowered her purple shades and gazed with glowing red irises at the Alicorn before her. “So Princess, what do you say we take this party somewhere with a little more… class?”
Princess Luna’s lips split into an obedient smile, returning the gaze with glowing red irises.
Solitude was an old friend whom rarely paid Twilight a visit thanks to her busy lifestyle and near perpetual onslaught of friendly visits. But tonight was date night! With Spike gone camping the young magician armed herself with some jasmine tea and a trashy romance novel. There was a bit of cleaning to do first, but it was nothing two or three simple spells couldn’t handle.
“Maybe I should give him less chores around here” she mused aloud “he keeps rushing them all, this place is a half cleaned mess!”
With a little focus and a mental incantation Twilight channeled a portion of her vast powers through her horn to levitate the various scattered baubles and books from the floor and desks. The glowing objects flew past each other with nary a ‘hello’ nor a ‘goodbye’ as they hurried to their varied destinations. Twilight’s thoughts strayed as a book titled ‘The Heat of June’ drifted past her face on its way to the shelf. She reminisced fondly of the raunchy adventures the protagonist and her had shared within the bindings of that novel. Within seconds Twilight was rudely jarred from her daydream by a sharp clang from behind.
“EEK!” the startling noise failed her concentration. All around her books, papers, and miscellaneous objects hit the hard wood floor. The sound of breaking ceramic from behind told Twilight what she had knocked together in her lapsed focus before she even turned around.
On the floor behind her rested her two favorite dinner plates, one atop the other. The plate with Princess Luna on it was unharmed, but Twilight’s Princess Celestia plate wasn’t so lucky.
“Oh Celestia damnit” Twilight hissed.
With a heavy heart, Twilight gave her beloved mentors shattered face a proper burial in the kitchen trash before returning to the library commons. There was less clutter altogether, but now the remaining junk was scattered about the floor haphazardly.
“Ugh… I’ll finish it a little later.” Twilight used her magic to pull the culprit book across the room to her. “June, you and I have a little catching up to do.” With her evening tucked safely in her telekinetic grip, she adjourned to her bedroom for the night.
Twilight skipped towards her bed ready to dive under the crisp sheets for the night when a rank odor annihilated any notion of relaxation. Recoiling with watery eyes, she dropped her book and desperately sought out the source while holding her breath.
“Ew! What in Equestria is- Spike!” Twilight found her answer. In Spike’s hasty preparations to go camping, her assistant had neglected his heaping full laundry basket and left it sitting in direct sunlight for Celestia knows how long.
“That’s disGUSting!” she shrieked scooping the basket up in her magic. Even using a spell on it made her feel grody. As she rushed down to the basement with the bundle, she made a quick mental note to bleach her horn later. Amputation was also an option.
Twilight made a mad dash for the basement with the offending laundry held above and downwind from her. With a quick and poorly aimed spell she forced open the door to her basement and vaulted down the steps to the laundry area. The lid to the washing machine jumped open from a flick of her horn, and she launched the mass of sweaty cloths at the machine, basket and all. The basket toppled midair and spilled most of its contents into the opening of the washer. Only one article of clothing failed to leave the basket appropriately. The impact of the basket hitting the lid to the washer jarred loose a small white T-shirt, which fell to the floor as the basket itself careened towards the corner of the room.
“Spike is sooo going to get it when he gets home.” Twilight seethed as she trotted up to the washer. After dumping a liberal helping of detergent into the unsorted laundry load, Twilight glanced down to inspect which rebellious article had dared to escape her wrath.
Still weary of dragon sweat funk, Twilight used her magic to pick up the shirt and turn it around. She rolled her eyes once she saw the image of her friend Rarity back dropped by a big red heart.
“Honestly Spike… It’s a good thing Rarity knows you. Anypony else would think you were some creepy stal-” a polaroid fell from the shirt Twilight was levitating. She caught a fleeting glimpse of something familiar and alarmingly purple on its face as it tumbled through the air before landing face down.
“-ker?” Twilight’s voice cracked and she dropped the shirt she was holding. It landed in a white heap atop the mysterious picture, her friend’s large eyes gazing up at her tauntingly.
Twilight shook her head about briskly, as if to clear a cloud in her vision. “Wow! Heheh… those cloths must be muskier than I thought. I swear I just saw a picture fall out of Spike’s shirt. Maybe I’ll skip the romance novel and just go to bed.” Twilight closed her eyes and forced herself to calm down while she levitated the Rarity shirt into the wash. She closed the lid of the washer and turned it on blindly, then opened her eyes.
The picture was still there. Twilight blinked furiously at it, as if it would be gone the next time she opened her eyes. The picture remained, resistant to Twilights willing it out of existence. Swallowing the sand in her throat, Twilight enveloped the picture in her magic.
“No need to panic… maybe it’s just a picture of her winking at the camera!” Twilight reasoned. “Spike’s not really a stalker; he’s just got a childhood crush. And it’s not like she really minds the uh… the attention.”
The picture lifted off the ground to rest air born at eye level. Twilight held her breath and turned the picture over to see what it was of. She immediately dropped it.
“Oh… oh sweet Celestia!” Twilight felt her lunch threatening the back of her throat. Tripping over her own hooves in an alarmed backtrack, she fell onto her rump and stared at the hideous picture in disgust and fear.
“No… no damnit!” Twilight held her hoof to her mouth to keep from vomiting. Her heart skipped several beats as her brain double and triple checked what she had just processed. Twilight Sparkle began to cry as she stared at the candid picture that lay before her… the candid picture of her.
“This isn’t happening… It’s not!” Twilight yelled at herself. She stared through her tears at the picture. It really was of her. But it was by no means an ordinary photo. Taken from behind, she could see more of her own flank, thighs, and… everything else than she ever wanted to! Out of reflex Twilight crossed her own legs protectively as she tried to focus more on the setting of the picture, instead of her own butt and etcetera at its focus.
“That looks like my…” Twilight wheezed speculatively. She managed to pull herself to her hooves and tore her eyes from the picture.
Finding herself in her own bathroom, Twilight blinked and looked around. She didn’t remember when she had walked there, but she remembered vividly why she had come. Twilight ripped the shower curtain away without ceremony and examined the tile walls. On the wall just under the showerhead there was a s small chunk of grout missing from between two tiles.
“You… you little bastard!” Twilight focused her magic and ripped the tiles away from the tiny opening.
The two tiles on either side of the gap came out with no protest, but in her blistering fury Twilight took a few of the surrounding tiles with it. Resting within the hole in the shower stall before her was a small camera rigged with an antenna.
Twilight stared at the camera as if it were some alien device of unknown origin and function. The little black machine seemed almost surreal. As the shock came around full circle Twilight bowed her head and vomited into the shower stall. She made no attempt to get to the toilet just behind her, gaging and heaving where she stood until all that came up were sobbing grunts and painful coughs. Once the sickness passed, she numbly left the bathroom and drifted towards the room she shared with her once beloved assistant and adopted brother.
“I know… *cough* there’s more.” Reaching her room, Twilight stopped in the doorway to get one last glimpse of her peaceful sanctuary.
She ignored the invitations of her bed; she wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon. She considered the glass door to her balcony; maybe a three story drop would solve this problem. She ended her gaze on the bed Spike slept in. Without a thought, the basket weave, blanket, and pillows were enveloped in a purple glow and torn to ribbons.
As the pieces of cloth and stuffing scattered about the room violently, a manila envelope spilled from the belly of the largest pillow.
Twilight approached the envelope while still holding the bedding remains with her magic, keeping the cadaver of Spike’s bed quartered to the four corners of her room. She couldn’t seem to let go of the pieces or use her magic on anything else, so she used her hooves and mouth to pull back the strap and dump the contents across the floor.
A shower of pictures fell from the envelope. As they came to rest on the floor, Twilight saw the devious collage of herself begin to form. Twilight Sparkle felt something snap at that moment. As she looked over each individual picture, the darkest corner of her mind began to sing a Hearths Warming carol from her childhood, the one about Santa Hooves.
He knows when you are sleeping.
A picture of her nestled in bed, sound asleep. He was standing over her when he took it!
He knows when you’re awake.
One taken from behind, of her in the kitchen cooking. He took it at an angle to see up her apron.
He knows when you’ve been bad-
A picture of her in her room, having a private moment with one of her novels. Sweet Celestia he was in the closet!
Or good!
Another bathroom one, but this time relaxing in the bathtub! He clearly has more than one camera spot.
So be good for goodness sake!
“AAAAGH!!!” Twilight wailed in anguish a as she threw the pile of pictures into the air and sent them flying, scattering about the room away from her.
Ooooooh!
She choked up and fell to her knees. Resting her head on the floor she closed her eyes tight and let the tears flow, sobbing helplessly on the cold and unforgiving wood.
You better watch out.
Something sharp gripped both of Twilight’s sides… it felt like a pair of claws.
You better not cry!
Twilight’s body locked up, eyes snapping open in terror.
You better not pout, I’m telling you why!
She felt a breath of hot air against the back of her neck as a scaly body pushed against her.
Santa Hooves is comiiiing~
A sultry and heinous whisper in her ear “I’m home.”
To toooooown!
~fin
“Stars shimmering at twilight, take my breath away quiet night~” Rarity sung to herself as the crisp spring morning air snuck through her bathroom window to teased the wet hair of her glorious mane.
She flashed herself a teasing wink in the bathroom mirror before the brilliant blue shimmer of her horn opened the mirrored door to her styling pantry. An arsenal of hair care products bade her good morning as she brought out the gel conditioner, curling iron, and lavender 23 highlight brush.
“Handsome glowing moonlight, carry my heart away mister right~” Rarity took the cap off the conditioner and carefully spread it even between her hooves. Taking a seat she ran her hooves through her mane and carefully worked the conditioner through her painstakingly nurtured mane.
“Sun is rising good night, night. Don’t take my heart away and-”
“Leave my sight!” Rarity’s morning ritual was loudly interrupted by a strong female voice from behind her. She let out a startled yelp when the cabinet above the sink was slammed shut by a pale blue glow. She saw a familiar blue unicorn mare glaring over her shoulder in the mirror. Her face was wrought of malice and pride.
“T-Trixie?!” Rarity managed to spit out, clamoring for a towel.
“The one and only!” The show mare chimed as she cast her next spell. Rarity could feel her flowing locks flow further and fall around her shoulders, squeezing around her neck.
“W-wait! Not my haagk!” Rarity gripped her hooves to her throat. She tried to focus her magic, but the effort sent stars to her eyes.
“You and your friends humiliated Trixie! But Trixie has some new spells up her sleeve. You hated green, so how about you try blue!?”
Rarity fell as she gripped for breath, her strangled cries drowned out by the vengeful laughter of her perpetrator.
