Maybe Ponies aren't so bad...by TheDawsonator1ChaptersChapter 1: The BeginningChapter 2: RunningChapter 3: This means War!Chapter 4: No Meat? NOOOOOOO!Chapter 5: Lyle the Stoner!Chapter 6: Home Ticket Denied!Chapter 7: Where do I go from here?Chapter 8: ReformedChapter 1: The BeginningLyle was lying down on his bed inside his apartment; the night outside was stormy with huge gusts of wind and rain pelting the windows, normal lightning storm, No? Strangely enough, Lyle could have sworn he saw different colored lightning once or twice, but he deduced he was just tired from the late hour and should really go to sleep, those late nighters won't do Lyle any favors at all. The storm was right over his apartment sounding much like a shotgun everytime the thunder came, but the lightning was every so often a different color such as: red, blue, orange and even a purple one showed up. It really was time to get to sleep. Lyle went to take one last look out of the window when suddenly a yellow lightning blot shaped like a hand zapped straight into him through the window without so much as breaking the window, Lyle got zapped instantly with a slight yelp of pain and disappeared completely, all that was left was some black soot on the ground. Lyle had just disappeared. … Meanwhile in Ponyville, Twilight and friends were outside the town enjoying a rare event involving a shooting star shower that happens only once every 150 years. Funnily enough, Luna does not do this event, which makes it a natural event and that makes it even more extraordinary. Twilight and friends were not missing this chance even for the end of the world as all of them gathered with a light picnic. Some ponies couldn’t wait for it to start… “Oh my gosh! I cannot wait for this start!” said Dash impatiently. “I’msuperduperexcitedandthisthingislikereeeaallllyyrarebutimsogoshdarnexicted!” Pinkie Pie excitedly said in one breath somehow. “It’ll start soon in about 5 minutes” said Twilight, who knew the exact time it would happen. The group of friends had finished setting up their positions to watch the shower when Pinkie Pie had spotted one such comet. “It’s starting you guys!” said an excited Pinkie The others looked up to see one comet moving in the sky before Rarity asked, “Why is there only one comet? Surely there are multiple comets that make such a beautiful shower?” Rainbow Dash however, noticed something odd about the comet, it was heading this way, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say that comet is heading this way!” Rainbow Dash was in fact right on the money, the comet was indeed heading this way and the group dived into cover to avoid the comet that was quite flying extremely low before crashing some 100 meters away. “W-what was that?” a scared Fluttershy asked “Ah have no idea” admitted Applejack “Well, no use sticking around here girls, let’s check it out” Twilight said rushing to the crater it made. A strange bipedal creature was found in the crater, a stranger creature could not have been found anywhere in Equestria and there were some strange creatures too, especially as the crater was right next to the Everfree Forest. The part that left Twilight dumbfounded was that the creature had no signs of being hurt at all, just unconscious. There was no logical explanation that a creature falling at this speed could suffer no damage whatsoever, it defied all laws of physics right there. Silence came before Fluttershy nervously asked the million bit question, “W-What is that t-thing?” “No idea, Fluttershy” admitted Twilight “Oooh, is it an Alien? Maybe it’s come to enslave us all!” said Pinkie in a spooky manner leaving Fluttershy even more scared then she was now. “Pinkie really…” started Twilight “We come in peeeeaacceee! Then BAM! LASER WEAPONS EVERYWHERE!! And then the probing comes! It’s gonna be so totally super-duper cool!” said Pinkie, rambling on and on. “Pinkie, stop!” warned Twilight “Awww” moaned Pinkie “Now then, we don’t know what this creature could be or if it’s friendly so we got to be cautious about this” said Twilight looking at the creature with no expression showing at all but caution. Rainbow Dash gave a look that said she wanted to attack it while Twilight was curious about it, but the others except Pinkie Pie wanted to stay away from it. “We’ll take this creature back, and it’ll be under lock and key” decided Twilight after a while. “Are yer sure this is a good idea?” asked Applejack, who looked quite doubtful. “Positive, this creature is clearly alien, no doubt about-” started Twilight “I KNEW IT!” interrupted Pinkie “…but was there a reason this thing came here? Or was it an accident?” Twilight continued as if there were no interruption at all. “Um…what should we do now?” asked Fluttershy “Go home, meanwhile I’ll be up for another all-nighter trying to study this thing” replied Twilight “You sure you don’t want me to stay Twilight? He could get free and I’ll pound that alien into millions of pieces if he tries ANYTHING” said Dash, putting her hoofs in the air to punch an invisible enemy. "I"ll be fine Rainbow, but thanks for your concern" said Twilight who started magicking the creature up. … The Next Morning… Lyle woke up, but the place he woke up was not his bed in his apartment, in fact it was a hard platform where his arms were chained along with his legs to prevent any movement and a bright light was shining on his face. Panic came all too quickly to Lyle was he started struggling with no success to get out of his predicament. Lyle was truly trapped and he started yelling stupidly in hope someone would help him, “HEY! HEY!! SOMEONE! I’M TRAPPED HERE! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE!” No one came for a full five minutes, a very, very long five minutes until the strangest thing he has ever seen came into his sight: A Purple Unicorn. This Unicorn looked quite young but smart at the same time, she had a strange tattoo on her flank area, she had a violet mane and tail. This purple Unicorn was holding a clipboard with some magic force coming out of her horn and Lyle tensed up as he realized this must be his captor. Before Lyle can do anything else, the unicorn opened her mouth. “Hello? Do you understand me?” asked Twilight, making the first move “Yes” said Lyle, interestingly enough it seemed that the Unicorn was quite shocked to hear the answer. “Well-“ started Twilight before Lyle interrupted. “Okay, what do you want from me? I have absolutely nothing to give anyone, I'm of no use and also, I demand I be let free” said Lyle, stating his wishes. “I will if I see that you are harmless-“ Twilight started again. “I am harmless!” Lyle interrupted angrily. “Do not interrupt! If you are indeed harmless, then I will let you free, deal?” said Twilight, trying to keep the situation under control “Deal” said Lyle, who wanted this done quickly and painlessly as possible. Twilight Sparkle had started consulting her notebook to her questions she was going to ask the creature if she could understand the creature and began her interrogation. “What are you called?” Twilight asked her first question “My name is Lyle, and my kind is called a human” said Lyle “How did you arrive here?” asked Twilight “I really don’t know, Miss-?” started Lyle “Twilight” interrupted Twilight “Twilight, yeah…anyway, all I know is some weird lightning storm came and then I woke up chained up here, which I dunno about whatever you are, but Humans don’t like being chained up!” said Lyle indignantly “What is your planet’s name?” asked Twilight “Wait? I’m not on Earth?” asked Lyle confused. “This is Equestria Lyle, you are not on this Earth place you speak of” said Twilight, sternly stating this fact. “Great, and I’m on a planet of loony cartoon looking ponies! Fan-fucking-tastic!” an angry Lyle said loudly. “If you want to prove you’re harmless then I would keep it down” advised Twilight. “I’m trying but I have no clue where I am for starters” said Lyle reasonably “You are in the kingdom of Equestria on the planet of Equus” Twilight explained their current location. “Prove it” Lyle challenged Twilight to do so “I suppose I can show you the outside briefly but do not try anything” Twilight agreed to show Lyle outside. 'Okay, hope this works' Lyle thought as Twilight walked towards him. Twilight started to take the chains off Lyle slowly as Lyle did not make any moves at all and finally the chains came off. As soon as Twilight had her back turned, Lyle saw his chance and charged Twilight into the wall and slammed her head hard on the wall so it knocked her out cold. Lyle was quite shocked at what he had done as he looked down to his victim and felt as though he kicked a cute puppy and ran for his life up the stairs and almost to the front door before a Purple dragon stopped him. “Out of my way, lizard!” said Lyle “What did you do to Twilight?” The dragon asked threateningly, seeming to have known something was up. “She’s out cold, now I suggest you move before I do something I really don’t want to do for the second time!” warned Lyle “Never!” Spike denied the human the exit Lyle put up three fingers in the air, “One…” Lyle put down on finger, “Two…” Spike still did not move, but it may be a big mistake. “Three!”, Lyle charged as Spike did the same, but Lyle was smart and grabbed the Dragon by the tail and swung him straight into the wall behind him, which dazed the young drake. Looking upon his work with extreme guilt, Lyle ran like hell out of the door and as fast as he could away from here, where he went did not matter, as long as it was as away from here as possible! Chapter 2: RunningIf Lyle ran any faster than he did now, then he honestly could not remember it, as he ran as fast as he could from the tree house and away from Twilight and the dragon he knocked out. Guilt came over Lyle as he ran, but there was no time to go over those feeling as other ponies stared his direction as he ran like hell out of town. … Twilight Sparkle had woken up, her mind reminded her of what happened before she was knocked out and looked around to find Lyle was gone! Twilight knew what he had done: He took advantage of her while her back was turned and knocked her out! Galloping upstairs as fast as she could, Twilight found Spike dazed against the wall and knew Lyle had attacked Spike too, which Twilight got so angry that she was going teach him a lesson even if it’s the last thing she does! “Spike! Spike! Are you alright?” Twilight asked, worried out of her mind. “Urgh…Twilight? The alien…escaped, I tried to stop it but it was too strong” Spike said slowly, he was still dizzy but he was fine otherwise but Twilight had work to do! “Don't blame yourself Spike, you did all you could but I need you to send an urgent letter to the Princess at once! It’s just as I feared, the Alien is a danger to everypony and must be stopped at once!” ordered Twilight. “What about you?” asked Spike. “I’m getting the others to stop that Alien” Twilight answered before rushing out of the doorway. … 20 minutes later… Lyle had finally managed to find the exit to the town, which he found out was called Ponyville. The name made no sense to Lyle but he supposed that it was indeed full of these ponies with their wings and horns, even ones without either existed upon which, Lyle noticed the ones without a wing or a horn looked a lot more buff than the other ponies did. Finally, Lyle had time to breathe once he was satisfied he was a certain distance away from Ponyville. He did not know how exactly he got here but one thing’s for certain: He had to get the hell out and fast! “There you are!” an angry voice rang out from behind Lyle. … 15 minutes previously… Within 5 very short minutes, Twilight Sparkle had gathered her five friends, whom she trusted with her life and started explaining her situation. “Darling, what is this all about? You’re awfully angry about something” Rarity stating her concern for her purple friend. “The Alien who calls itself Lyle is on the loose” said Twilight, her eyes flaring in such anger. “WHAT?!” yelled the other five. “He attacked me from behind as well as Spike and escaped” Twilight explained what happened. “What? But how did he escape those chains?” asked Dash confused. “I…I let him free to prove to him where we were, he was from a different planet and he had a hard time believing it…I thought he’d be harmless and…I was fool! A Foolish FOOL!” Twilight said kicking herself with shame. “I knew I should have stayed with you!” said Dash pointing a hoof at her. “You leave her alone Rainbow! Anypony would have made the same mistake” said Fluttershy, rushing to Twilight’s defense. “Oh yeah? I’d have thought we'd all remember what happened last time Twilight let her guard down on the unknown!” Dash shot back, hurting Twilight’s pride greatly. A memory suddenly came back to the group, a memory of something Twilight and friends would rather forget for all eternity. But right now the group didn’t seem to be getting anywhere closer to their goals. “Girls…” Twilight started. “Ah reckon yer have no right to criticizing Twilight when yer gone done some stupid things yerself” interjected Applejack. “Girls…” Twilight tried again. “Oh really? Have you completely forgot about “Applebucking season”? or maybe the whole Dodge Junction incident? Just because you were too stubborn to accept Twilight’s help” Rainbow recalled certain events Applejack wasn’t too proud of. “Yer one to talk! How about the “Best Young Flier” competition?” Applejack shot back at the Pegasus. “If it wasn’t for Rarity trying to show me up every 2 seconds, I’d of been just fine!” said Dash, who was putting the blame on Rarity “How DARE you put all the blame on me!” Rarity entered the fray now. The arguing went on and on and on until Twilight had just about enough and raised her voice. “ENOUGH!!” Twilight yelled in a voice that rivaled the Royal Canterlot Voice. Nevertheless, the group was silenced and Twilight continued, “Yes, we have all made foolish mistakes in the past but if we act like foals about it then we aren’t getting anywhere! We got through these mistakes because we stuck together with our friendship and helped each other out no matter what stood before us, not bickering over past mistakes like little foals! Now then, we have an Alien that could be danger to anypony it comes in contact with and I need your help to capture it before SOMEPONY gets hurt!” Twilight’s words had brought the other five to shame and they thankfully saw the error of their ways and apologized to each other at once. “Now then” Twilight started once everypony had apologized to each other, “We have an Alien to catch and a short amount of time to do so before somepony gets hurt” “Well we ain’t finding anything twiddling our hooves here” said Dash impatiently “Well I suggest both you and Fluttershy try to find him from the air, Rarity and I will go one side of town and Applejack and Pinkie Pie will go to the other and if you see him send one of you to find the others, clear?” said Twilight, whom explained her plan that she made up on the spot. Everypony split up in their groups, The Pegasi took to the sky at once, Twilight and Rarity went on direction while Applejack and Pinkie Pie went the other direction. The Hunt for the Human was on! ... 10 minutes later... Twilight Sparkle and Rarity were searching the west side of Ponyville, their searches so far have been unsuccessful. Twilight had flared her horn with a sensing spell to sense anything that neither pony nor dragon, it was quite an effective spell to find somepony that could be suspicious, unfortunately however, the spell had a short range and it drained a decent bit of magical energy, what's worse it had picked up nothing. "This is useless! I've walked everywhere and the sensing spell hasn't picked up a thing" a frustrated Twilight said. "Calm down darling, good things come to those who wait" Rarity tried to keep Twilight calm. "But he could of done something really bad especially after he hurt Spike" Twilight argued. "As much as I hate that uncouth ruffian for hurting poor Spikey-wikey, we shall not solve this with violence" said Rarity "I'll try to minimize but this isn't going to be solved the easy way" said Twilight looking ahead ... Applejack and Pinkie Pie had regrouped after searching the east side of town and much like Twilight and Rarity, they didn't find the human either. "Find anything?" asked Applejack "Nopey-dopey, I checked every super-secret hiding spot in Ponyville and even asked everypony! Oh he's gooood!" said Pinkie "Ah horseapples, ah hope the others are getting better luck than us" Applejack said "Don't worry Applejack, our friends have never failed to pull through in the end" Pinkie said assuringly "Well we best keep looking, you keep an eye out too, ya hear?" Applejack said starting to go one direction "Oki-doki-loki!" said Pinkie bouncing another direction ... Up in the air, Rainbow Dash was keeping a bird's eye view of Ponyville along with her shy friend, Fluttershy. Nopony could beat Rainbow Dash's speed and the human will never escape Rainbow Dash's sight as she has eyes like a griffon. Her eyes did indeed find the human just outside of town much to her satisfaction, it was time for payback for what he did to Twilight and Spike! "Fluttershy, I found the human, go tell Twilight and the others he's over there" said Dash "But what about you?" Fluttershy asked "I'll hold him down until you all get here" Dash said simply Rainbow Dash zoomed down to the ground at breakneck speed and landed behind the human unnoticed... … Now… “There you are” a voice rang out behind Lyle. Lyle turned around to see who the unknown voice was from, he found a Cyan winged pony with a look of anger that rivaled that of a dragon that was poked in the eye whilst asleep. “What do you want?” asked Lyle with contempt “You hurt Twilight!” said Dash angrily but getting to the point. “Oh yeah? Well do me a favor and get out of my life and pass a message that as far as I'm concerned, she can go straight to hell!” said Lyle, who quite frankly, did not care too much. “No can do! You hurt my friends, you answer to me!” said Dash bravely. “Adorable, She chained me up when I did nothing wrong and I wanted out, so I had to knock her out but trust me when I say it could have been a lot worse! She's the bad guy here!” Lyle shot back at his winged enemy. “I don’t trust you” said Dash “What a lovely surprise, listen up featherbrain cause I’m going to say this once only! Get out my life and let me leave or you’ll be number free of ponies I had to knock out today” Lyle threatened the Pegasus “Never! And even if you do somehow beat me, Rainbow Dash! Then Twilight and the others as well as the Princess will be here shortly” said Dash refusing to back off. “You’re bluffing “Friend”! But if that’s the way you wanna play it, then fine! Who am I to disappoint?” said Lyle, who charged at once. One thing Lyle did not anticipate was the fact that Rainbow Dash was the fastest flier in Equestria, which caught him off guard at first, which had him knocked backwards, but thankfully like with Spike, Rainbow Dash made mistakes that allowed Lyle to grab her by the tail and swing her into a nearby tree making short work of his enemy. “Cheap shot…urgh” muttered Dash “It’s only cheap because you’re losing” said Lyle before muttering, “knew that Karate course would come handy one day” “I’m not done with you yet” said Dash, getting back up as Lyle turned away. “Do I have to slap a mare?” asked Lyle “What?” asked Dash, who was confused. “Uh, never mind then” muttered Lyle “Found you!” said a familiar voice from behind Rainbow Dash. Twilight Sparkle had arrived along with four others consisting of: A white Unicorn, a Pink Earth Pony, a Orange earth pony and a rather shy looking Pegasus, and they were all ready for a fight. “Oh, you again and you brought friends, great!” said Lyle, who was getting quite sick of this. “Even if you knock me out through a wall, I don’t give up easily, especially if you hurt Spike!” said Twilight angrily. “He would not get out of my way when I gave him every chance, if he didn’t know what he was getting himself into, then he shouldn’t pick fights with “Aliens” such as me” Lyle shot back at Twilight. “That excuses NOTHING! You hurt Spike! I’ll make you pay!” said Twilight, whose eyes turned red and her mane and tail was literally burning! “Easy there Rapid Dash!” said Dash getting in front of Twilight “Get out of my way Rainbow Dash!” Twilight ordered Rainbow Dash. "No, he is mine!" Dash said, ready to charge the human again. "That's quite enough" a heavenly voice said out of nowhere. Suddenly, a white flash occurred between the two and a White pony with both Wings and a horn appeared. She was larger than the other ponies and Lyle could tell she was the leader as the ponies bowed down and Twilight reverted back to her normal state, the ponies all bowed down to her except Twilight, but Lyle did not move so much as a centimeter. “Princess Celestia!” said Twilight, who bowed down to her princess. “My faithful student, this is the Alien you speak of?” asked Celestia, looking at Lyle with a smile. “Yes” Twilight nodded as Celestia turned towards Lyle. "I'll handle this" Celestia said simply "But-" Twilight started but the Princess interrupted her. “Allow me to introduce myself to you, I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria and the Princess of the Sun” Celestia introduced herself to Lyle. “Uh, I’m Lyle” said Lyle, who was very confused of this turn of events. “Princess, this Alien has been causing trouble for all of us” said Dash pointing her hoof at Lyle. “I’m not surprised Rainbow Dash, anypony would tend to resort to violence out of fear and misunderstanding even under the best of intentions from both parties” said Celestia wisely. “But-“ Twilight started before Celestia interrupted her “Our visitor was chained and naturally scared for his life in a place he’s never been before Twilight, this applies to even the most powerful and calm ponies alive today. I do not think the Alien intentionally caused harm to you, Spike and Miss Dash, it was more of a misunderstanding although your method of dealing with this is not the most wisest of ways.” said Celestia with such wisdom. “So y’all mean to tell us, that the little varmit was just scared?” asked Applejack. "Little?" asked Lyle under his breath “Indeed, I’m sure Miss Fluttershy would think the same if one of her animals were threatened would she not” Celestia said with a casual glance towards Fluttershy’s direction. Fluttershy did give a nod, showing she agreed, Celestia turned away from her and to Twilight but Lyle was not in the mood for forgiving. “If you think I’m forgiving Twilight, then you can forget it, Princess” said Lyle flatly, who was giving an angry look towards Twilight's direction. “I do not expect you to forgive Miss Sparkle at once Lyle, but I do ask you remove any hostility you have against anypony” said Celestia before adding wisely, “Time is the best healer Lyle, do not wallow in grudges for too long, for they may very well lead you down a very dark path” “Fine, I’ll humor you Princess, but like I said, I’m not getting all comfy with Twilight or featherbrain over there” said Lyle causing Dash to get annoyed. “HEY!” yelled Dash angrily. Silence came between everypony for a good minute and a half, until Celestia spoke up once more. “Now then, what are we going to do with you?” muttered Celestia “Take him away would be nice, Princess” said Dash, who clearly wanted the Human far away as possible. “I know, Lyle, I would like you to live here in Ponyville, under Miss Sparkle’s care and learn the meaning of friendship” said Celestia, deciding on a solution that both Lyle and Twilight did not agree on. “WHAT?!” yelled the pair of them “And I shall expect the pair of you to play nice, or I shall intervene myself” added Celestia “But, he knocked me out Princess! He can’t be trusted” protested Twilight “She chained me up Celestia, You really think she’ll be cozy with me in her madhouse?!” Lyle also protested “Indeed I do, a good friendship can form, even from the worst of enemies” said Celestia smiling at the pair. “You’re mad!” Lyle said in an accusing tone “I am not mad and if you tried being friendly toward each other, then I’m sure you’ll be good friends. But for now, I must return to Canterlot, farewell my little ponies” Celestia said, but before disappearing she added "Oh and Lyle, if you do hurt Twilight or any of my subjects intentionally then you will answer to me" before disappearing in the same white light she arrived in. Lyle was honest to god confused, he was an alien but for some reason, their princess didn’t seem to mind his presence here or the fact he was fighting her subjects to get free. Twilight on the other hand, was completely unhappy about the prospect of the Human and herself living together and she still held quite a grudge against Lyle. “Well, this is awkward” said Lyle after a while. Without warning, Pinkie Pie zoomed straight up to Lyle with a smile, she seemed to have forgiven Lyle instantly and started introducing herself, “HiimPinkiePieandimsosuperduperexcitedtofinallymeetyou!” Pinkie said this all in one breath much to the amazement of Lyle. “Oooookay then, I’m Lyle” said Lyle “I’m Rarity, charmed to meet you” said Rarity” “Ah’m Applejack, best Apples this side of Canterlot” Applejack introduced herself and tipped her hat. “I’m Fluttershy” said Fluttershy inaudibly “I’m sorry, what?” asked Lyle “My name is Fluttershy” said Fluttershy a little louder but not loud enough for Lyle to hear. “I did not hear one word you said” said Lyle “Her name is Fluttershy” Rarity supplied for Lyle. “Ohhh…I see why she’s named that.” said Lyle, who noticed the Pegasus’ shyness. Before anyone could tell what the Rainbow maned Pegasus’ name was, she flew off, only leaving a rainbow trail behind her. “I think you may of hurt her pride a little too much in your fight there, Lyle” said Rarity casually “Who was she?” asked Lyle “That’s Rainbow Dash” said Fluttershy, who became more confident. "She had too much of an ego" muttered Lyle. Now that they introduced each other, it was about time for them go home and and rest as the day was almost up. "All right, you!" Twilight motioned to Lyle, "Since you're staying with me, you stay out of trouble and out of my way! You clear on that?" "Crystal, but if you so much as try to tie me up or anything like what happened, no Princess alive will protect you from what I will do to you" Lyle let a snarl out before following Twilight. Both parties were tired but they did not lower their guard towards each other as they made their way to the library, they weren't friends but at least they weren't at each others throats for the time being. Chapter 3: This means War!Both Lyle and Twilight did not say a word to each other the previous night, other than telling Lyle where he was sleeping; no words were exchanged at all. Spike also disliked the newest resident to Ponyville ~~(What did you expect? He did get thrown into a wall by the tail!)~~. In reality, they were the only two besides Rainbow Dash who had a huge dislike for the Human. The very next day, Lyle wanted to get out of the library ASAP and Lyle was out the door after a bit of salad, muttering under his breath about there somehow not being meat in the house. One thing Lyle did not account for was the trouble he stirred the previous day, ponies were looking at him oddly as though he had just dressed in a tutu and started dancing like a complete moron. “What are you all looking at? Haven’t you seen a Human before?” Lyle asked the crowd No one answered, except that one smartflank pony that said, “No” “Okay then” Lyle paused for a minute, “TWILIGHT!! CAN YOU EXPLAIN ME TO YOUR KIND?! I’LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!!” “I’M READING AN IMPORTANT BOOK!” yelled Twilight “IF YOU DON’T THEN I’LL THEM ABOUT THE “Incident” THING I FOUND IN YOUR BOOK!” Lyle yelled back. "FINE! I'M COMING DOWN!" Twilight yelled, leaving her spot. "Works every time" Lyle muttered to himself. Twilight came out to what was now a crowd, she looked from Lyle to the crowd and started talking, “Well everypony, Lyle here is a Human and he means no physical harm, just treat him like everypony else” Twilight paused before adding to Lyle, “Happy?” “Eeyup!” said Lyle, imitating the southern accent Applejack had. A Mare with a grey mane came forward in front of the crowd and spoke up, “As Mayor, I would like welcome you, Lyle to our fair town and hope you enjoy your stay here” "That was quick" Lyle muttered to himself again, but surprised how quickly they all accepted this. Lyle couldn’t help but smile at the name of the mayor, it was stupid but then again, from what Lyle knows, it may just be normal in this land. Also Lyle couldn't help but notice that the ponies were certainly trusting, thankfully on a few ponies remained to look as Twilight rounded on Lyle. “Okay, how did you know about the “incident”?” asked Twilight in an angry tone. “I didn’t” said Lyle simply “You mean you-?” Twilight started before Lyle interrupted her. “Did that just get you out there? Guilty as charged my purple companion, and as we look at the scoreboard it’s Lyle: 2, Twilight: 0, in other words: you wanna get your shit together if you wanna win” said Lyle smugly. “Don’t you mean 1 point to you?” asked Twilight “That’s one for now and one for the K.O yesterday” Lyle explained his victories. “Are you quite done?! Because this mean war! And I WILL WIN this war, no matter the headstart you get, Lyle!” Twilight said angrily “Try all you want, I’m gonna see what our dear friends are up to, except Miss Ego Dash because quite frankly she’s a sore loser just like a certain Unicorn I know” Lyle said as he walked away. Lyle walked away in victory while Twilight was left with her hair flaming, she vowed to win this secret war and win it she will! … 10 Minutes later… Lyle came across a unique looking building called the Carousel Boutique, which Lyle casually entered was not surprised at all to see Rarity sewing things together mainly due to the fact that this looked like her thing and the fact he marked her as one of those drama-queens. “Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique and magnifique” said Rarity, who make the last three word’s endings sound the same. “Hi Rarity” Lyle just waved at her. “What can I do for you today, Lyle was it?” asked Rarity in a professional tone. “Well just looking around really” said Lyle, shrugging his shoulders. “If you need something to look good then I’m your mare! I’ll simply have you shining like a diamond in no time!” Rarity said as though she couldn’t wait to do such a thing. “Well, I’m more of a casual wear kind of guy” said Lyle as-matter-of-factly. “Hmm…we can’t have you walking around Ponyville in those “rags”, we need to get you some new clothes and I shan’t take no for an answer!” Rarity said looking at Lyle’s clothes with disgust. Now that Lyle looked at himself, he did look like he ran through a meat grinder, just without the blood and stuff. His shirt was torn in places as well as his jeans, his clothes were also dirty everywhere which probably happened during the fight to escape and how he got here too! But Lyle did not have a damned bit on him and was going to express that right now, “Rarity, I don’t have a god-damn bit on me and this twenty dollar note is worth nothing here unless some magical exchange rate was set-up here as I got here” “Not to worry Lyle, I cannot let a crime against such terrible fashion go uncorrected! And I’ve been just simply dying to make some human clothes since you got here, that’s payment enough” said Rarity waving her hoof. “Are you sure?” asked Lyle “Dear Lyle, I am not called the Element of Generosity for nothing” Rarity replied simply. “Fine, if you insist” Lyle agreed to let this one go. “Wonderful! Shall we get started?” asked Rarity in excitement Lyle could only relate to a little foal waiting to open his Hearth's Warming presents. For about a good hour, Lyle suffered from Rarity measuring everything about Lyle until she had enough details to make him some clothes. Finally Lyle was able to leave and he hoped these clothes would be alright. … Twilight Sparkle was in her library, not surprising, no? She still has not forgived Lyle for that whole incident yesterday and already they were going towards the path of hating each other. What she needed was Rainbow Dash, she was the only pony who disliked Lyle besides herself and Spike so she set out to find her so she could get the advantage before Lyle strikes again. For now, Twilight will bide her time as she may... ... Lyle was casually walking along the path earning a few stares due to his appearance but he wished they would stop, it made him quite nervous and a bit annoyed, and things did not help when some Aqua colored pony grabbed his hand all of a sudden. “OH MY GOSH! HANDS! THEY ACTUALLY EXIST!!” the pony yelled, further examining Lyle’s hands much to his discomfort “Hey! Let me go!” Lyle growled, but this fell upon deaf ears. “These hands actually exist, and these humans exist after all! I KNEW IT! Celestia be damned I KNEW IT!” the pony continued “You have 5 seconds to let me go!” Lyle threatened the pony, hoping she would listen but another pony came by. “Lyra, what are you doing?” asked another Pony who just came. “Bon-Bon! They’re real! The Humans!” Lyra exclaimed pointing out Lyle. “I doubt it, must be wearing a good costume” Bon-Bon said looking at Lyle. “I’m the real deal” said Lyle casually. “So you actually are Human?” asked Bon-Bon “Last time I checked” Lyle replied making a pose. “Oh dear sweet Celestia! I-It’s true, Humans are real!” Bon-Bon said as though hell has frozen over or something. Lyle was confused at all the fuss and asked, “I don’t get it, what’s the big deal?” “Well, back in our foalhood, Lyra read a legend about mythical creatures called Humans, long story short, she basically got obsessed over it so many times we almost put her in a mental institution. Oh no…I just realized we all owe Lyra 5 bits” Bon-Bon explained as Lyra grinned evilly. Lyle felt that sensation just then, that feeling when many beings just lost a bit of money at the same time towards one person or rather, Pony. In other words: Lyra is about to be one rich pony! …. That Night… Lyle had finished exploring and safe to say it had been a weird day, so he retired to the just relaxing on the bed. Twilight However, had other plans on dragging the Human with her to a club. “LYLE!” Twilight yelled “What?” an irritated Lyle replied. “I’m going with the girls to the club and you’re coming with us!” said Twilight, in a this-isn't-negotiable kind of way. “Nah, I’ll just chill here” Lyle said lazily on the bed. “You will come out or I’ll kick you out!” Twilight threatened Lyle. “Fiiiiiinnneeee!” Lyle groaned as he got out of bed, ‘Why do I get the feeling this isn’t gonna end well at all!’ ... "So tell me, why am I being dragged all the way to this club for?" Lyle asked his purple companion "I don't know about your world, but we tend to go out with friends somewhere and that's what we're doing" said Twilight simply "Yeah but they're more like YOUR friends than mine" Lyle replied truthfully "Well if you want to fulfill Princess Celestia's wishes of learning friendship, being friends with my friends is the best opportunity for you and you should count yourself lucky that she was nice to you" Twilight said simply "Pfft, like I care about your stupid Princess anyways, all I care about is getting back home as soon as possible and knowing my parents, they are searching with a whole lot of worry on their shoulders" Lyle said what he wanted. "Well then, you'd better get in her good books as she may be the only one and possibly her sister as well that can get you home to your world" said Twilight Lyle sighed, "I'll humor you...for now, but I still ain't getting comfy with you and featherbrain" The club came into sight as Twilight spoke, "Just try to act somewhat appropriately while we're in there" Moments later, the pair of them found their “friends” waiting outside including one Rainbow Dash whom Lyle did not look at. The Club itself reminded Lyle of a club back on Earth, it was less techy than the ones on Earth but it still had a modern charm to it. There were ponies busting their moves on the dance floors, while others were just sitting and chatting with their friends. Lyle and “friends” got themselves a booth and ordered Hay Fries and a Hayburger but since Lyle didn’t like that kind of stuff, he just got an Apple Cider. “So Applejack, how goes the farm?” asked Rarity casually. “It’s pretty darn good right now, Rarity” Applejack replied “That’s good to hear” Rarity smiled. “Oooh what about you Lyle?” asked Pinkie. “Well let’s see, was having a nice life until I got put here and tried to escape, Twilight sets Ego Dash and friends on me, your annoying Princess forces me to try get comfy with you six, got forced to accept Generosity from Rarity, and got my hand raped by Lyra Heartstrings who is obsessed about our race and now I’m here talking to you, Happy?” Lyle summed up his adventures so far, and he wasn't very proud of those adventures. “Sounds like fun” Rarity commented. 'I need a drink' Lyle thought to himself “Pfft Please, I do not have a big Ego” Rainbow Dash added “Bullshit” Lyle muttered under his breath as he drank all the cider he had. “Wait Lyle! DON’T DRINK IT ALL AT ONCE YOU’LL-“ Twilight tried to warn Lyle, but it was too late, Lyle had downed the whole Cider. “Uh oh…” Twilight muttered to herself as she knew what would happen sooner or later. "This drink...I like it! FETCH ME ANOTHER!" Lyle declared his love for the cider. "Lyle, Apple Cider can get you drunk and you just drunk a full bottle" Twilight warned Lyle but it fell on deaf ears. Lyle walked to the bar and bumped into a pony as he did so and stared at him angrily. "Hey watch where you're going you hairless ape!" the Pony said angrily. "The fuck did you just call me? *HIC*" Lyle asked the pony. "A Hairless ape, now go away scum" the pony repeated himself "Oh you're *HIC* going down, *HIC* fucker!" Lyle said throwing a punch at the pony As soon as the fight began, a crowd came around watching man against pony fighting it out... … 2 fight-tastic minutes later... “Don’t come back here until you stop picking fights” The owner, Berry Punch yelled as she chucked Lyle out. “Yeah well, I’ll build my own club! With blackjack and hookers! You know what? Forget the club!” Lyle shouted at the closed door before walking off. Moments later, Twilight came out of the club to give Lyle a piece of her mind and boy was she not happy at all, and she possessed that look only a mother looking at a child who broke something valuable could possess. “LYLE!!!” Twilight yelled “What do you want?” Lyle asked not looking at Twilight. “You know perfectly well what! Acting like immature little foal when we take you out! How dare you! Princess Celestia could of easily done something much worse and this is how you repay her?!” Twilight started yelling “What that little prick *HIC* deserved it! He called me a *HIC* hairless ape!” Lyle shot back. “That’s not the Point!” Twilight roared “Yeah? And does this face look like it gives a fuck about the point?” Lyle asked snidely. “It better, or else!” Twilight threatened. “Or else what *HIC* nerdy?” Lyle responded. “That’s it! I’m dragging you back to library!” Twilight said who clearly had enough. “I like to see you try” said Lyle sneered, walking the other direction A Purple aura surrounded Lyle and lifted him up and Lyle started struggling to get out. “Put me down! PUT ME DOWN!!” Lyle yelled as he was getting carried back “No, you are being immature and until you learn to act somewhat civilized, you aren’t going out to any clubs!” Twilight said calmly as possible. ... About a few moments after the argument, Lyle was in his room and locked in until tomorrow morning with Twilight just outside the door while Lyle was yelling to be let out. “HEY LET ME OUT NOW!!” Lyle yelled at the top of his lungs. Twilight merely responded, “No, not until tomorrow morning and by the way that’s one point to Twilight Sparkle” “WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I WILL MURDER YOU SO BADLY *HIC* THAT NO PRINCESS WILL EVER FIND YOUR DEAD BODY!!” Lyle shouted his threats loudly as possible. What Lyle didn’t know is that Twilight placed a sound-proof spell on the room as Twilight went to bed winning a battle, the war on the other hand is yet to be won. (Scoreboard: Lyle: 2 Twilight: 1) Author's Note Chapter 3 is up! Personally I wanted Lyle and Twilight to kind of be enemies and have a war against each other that isn't the violent kind. Chapter 4: No Meat? NOOOOOOO!It was morning once again in Ponyville and once again, Lyle woke up in the hopes that this was all just a bad dream and that he’d wake in the apartment but no, fate was not done with him, not by a long shot! He saw that the door was open and headed down to breakfast to a rather satisfied looking Twilight and a half-awake Spike. “Good morning Lyle” Twilight said brightly. “What’s made you so happy?” Lyle asked sourly “Is being happy illegal?” Twilight asked rhetorically. “Yes, it is very illegal to be happy” Lyle replied sarcastically. Twilight said no more on the subject, as breakfast was some salad with haysticks, the latter of which Lyle did not like at all. “Don’t we have any meat? All this vegetable stuff is killing me” Lyle complained Twilight suddenly got a dark look and a bit of a shock, “You eat meat?” “Course I bloody do, I’ve been craving meat every since I got here but I can’t seem to find any” Lyle replied “Y-You’re carnivore?” asked Twilight slowly. “Well Omnivore, which means we get eat veggies and meat but I would rather eat meat!” said Lyle, falling in a semi-daydream about meat. Twilight processed this and asked, “You don’t eat Ponies do you?” “Hell no! Humans and Horses have been best friends forever naturally! We don’t eat our best friends but only really desperate people would want to eat horses or ponies, that or they be very sadistic. Same goes to Dogs, they’ve been two of man’s best friends as far as anyone can remember, oh how I miss my little puppy” Lyle explained. “I see, you have a dog? What are they like in your world?” Twilight asked with great interest “Dogs are real loyal to their owners unless neglect and abuse have been inflicted upon them, only a real fucking cruel person would do such a thing! They’ve been dubbed many times as “Man’s best friend”, they can be a huge source of comfort and they can also be highly trained to do things like keeping security around places or even just for show, it also helps that Humans can’t outrun dogs, so you don't wanna mess with them.” Lyle explained once more “Applejack does have a dog named Winona, there are a different kind of dogs that are quite dumb but dangerous called Diamond Dogs, nasty creatures they can be as they can kidnap ponies and force them to be slave workers but they can be outwitted.” Twilight explained a rather smelly bunch of creatures she wouldn’t go near with a 200 foot pole. Lyle couldn’t help but notice Twilight was being much more polite towards himself but maybe that was all an act or something, who knows? “See this isn’t so bad isn’t it” Twilight said, practically reading Lyle’s mind. “Maybe not, but back to the original question, where’s the meat at?” Lyle asked. “Well you see…Equestria doesn’t really eat…meat” Twilight said slowly “What?” Lyle said dangerously. “Uh oh” Twilight muttered and she and Spike entered a makeshift bunker out of nowhere. 3… 2…. 1…. “WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN THERE’S NO MEAT?!” The whole treehouse launched in the air for a brief second before landing again in response to Lyle's outburst. “You mean to tell me, there is NO meat at all? Nothing? Zilch? Zero? Not even a steak or a sausage anywhere on this damn rock?!” Lyle asked not believing what he was hearing “Not one drop” Twilight said simply “But there has to be one drop on this planet I can eat” Lyle said rationally. “The only place you can eat meat nearby is in Griffonia, but that’s way too far away to the north and they don’t take kindly to strangers and not to mention they are quite warlike and start fights easily” Twilight mentioned this fact, cutting all Lyle’s hopes of meat. “B-But, I’LL GO CRAZY! I NEEEEED MEAAAT! I will not succumb to only salads for the rest of my existence on this planet!” Lyle protested, refusing to believe the truth. “You can live without it” said Twilight “But you don’t understand Twilight, meat isn’t just any old food, it’s the food every human needs, it’s like well I dunno, Ponies without hay?” Lyle replied sharply Twilight gave a moment’s thought about what it would be like without hay, suffice to say that it would not be a pleasant one. Lyle, before Twilight could do anything else, went outside muttering something about ripping his insides out. … 20 minutes later… Lyle was outside, bored out of his mind so much so that he had went through a ten minute boredom montage involving: smashing his head on a wall, trying to impersonate Pinkie’s bouncing thing she does and even talking to the ponies around Ponyville, who seemed to have conveniently accepted him. This bothered him a little bit and he seemed a bit suspicious due to the fact it was simply too good to be true. Lyle missed his entertainment so much, there were video games, TV, Movies, computer, friends and maybe the occasional amusement park. But here he was in Magical Ponyland that is literally flooding of happiness and friendship, he got so bored of this that he accessed his inner “Assassin” and climbed the whole town hall building with his bare hands and was on top of the roof admiring the view. "So much Bullshit! No meat, I'd rather die than go vegetarian!" Lyle complained under his breath. “Watcha doing?” a familiar Cyan Pegasus asked from above “Oh it’s you, what do you want?” Lyle lazily replied “Couldn’t help but notice you being up here without wings that’s all” Dash said landing next to Lyle “Hands, best things ever, accept no substitutes! They can do so much wonders compared to those hoofs of yours, which quite honestly, I wonder how you even grab things with them” Lyle explained how he got up here. “I dunno, it just seems second nature that I never about it like that, especially when you have these babies” Dash said flapping her wings fondly. Lyle had a mental image suddenly, he had sprouted wings and was flying all over town with ease and quite a few people looked jealous. “I wouldn’t mind flying, it’d save a damn lot of time getting places back in my world plus it would kinda kill the boredom” Lyle mentioned half-heartily. “What’s your world like?” asked Dash curiously. “Um well…put it this way, there are many ways to describe my planet, some places it’s harsh and cruel but in others it’s paradise with the occasional guy going through hell in it, there is many ways to describe it like I said, it really depends on the person's experience, as for me, it has it’s ups and downs and all that stuff but home is home and there is no place like home” Lyle said and suddenly got a mad idea, ‘maybe if I click my heels and say there’s no place like home, I’ll be back in the apartment in no time’ Before either parties could continue the conversation, Applejack came running down the street and started calling to Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, Lyle, Ah need yer help pronto!” Applejack called out. “What’s wrong?” Lyle asked curiously “The Crusaders went into the Everfree Forest, they haven't come out and they’ve been gone a while now” Applejack explained “Wait a moment, the Everfree Forest?” asked Lyle “Yep” Dash confirmed “The one that everypony pretty much should stay the hell away from?” Lyle asked again “That’s the one” Dash confirmed “Well that’s fan-fucking-tastic! So these kids decided to walk into a forbidden forest, yep this is gonna end well” Lyle said with a hint of sarcasm “Well you’re helping us find them” said Dash “WHAT? No! I am not finding those fillies, it’s their fault they’re stupid enough to walk into a dangerous forest that’s conveniently next to the way-too-peaceful town!” Lyle protested but Rainbow Dash was hearing none of it. “You’ll go or I’ll drop you from this building” Dash threatened “You wouldn’t” Lyle put a big try-me face on. Within a second, Rainbow Dash had lifted Lyle off the building and he was hanging at such a height that is he fell, he would surely break every bone in his body. “HEY! HEY! LET ME DOWN!” Lyle screamed. “Not until you agree to help find the crusaders” Dash said “NO!” Lyle said “I can’t hold you much longer, you’ll have to say yes or get very hurt” Dash said deliberately loosening her grip a tad. “Alright! Alright! I’ll search for the brats! Just don’t drop me!” Lyle said, desperately clinging on. “Good, that wasn’t so hard now was it?” Dash said, smirking maliciously. "Your death will be slow and very painful!" Lyle muttered furiously. … A couple of Minutes later saw Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Lyle entering the Everfree Forest. Suffice to say, Lyle was angry about this, while AJ and Dash were worried about the fillies. “Okay, so what’s the plan? Scream on the top of our lungs? Run around in circles? Or go find a monster lair or something?” Lyle asked. “Well, the Everfree is dangerous at night and it’s getting close to night as we speak, so we need to split up and find the fillies fast as we can” Dash explained “Those kids are gone done it this time” AJ muttered “And if one of us finds them?” asked Lyle “We meet back here in an hour and if they are not back then we get the others” said Dash “Well, let’s get to it then” AJ said, rushing into the forest ‘Great, finding fillies in a dangerous forest, this day can’t possibly get any worse! And I realize I just fucked myself!’ Lyle thought, letting out a sigh as he walked in. The Everfree Forest was a dark forest, very little light breached the canopy of the forest at all, distinct sound could be heard from all directions creeping Lyle out a little bit. What made it more creepier is there was a slight fog and the trees seemed to like evil. Stories were often told about this place, some say it has other-worldly features hidden in it, some say this forest caused Nightmare Moon to be born and even some say there might be a connection to a strange place somewhere in it. Although, what ponies do know is that the very nature of this place is not guided by Ponies at all, it all happens on it’s own! This reminded Lyle of home a little bit as he wondered about how his family and friends were reacting to his disappearance. After 30 minutes of wandering, Lyle was getting bored of this search when he heard 3 young voices nearby… “Scootaloo, Ah thought yer said this was the way out?” a southern accent rang out. “Well, it did look like the way out didn’t it?” Scootaloo argued with her friend. “Well, we didn’t even get our Explorer Cutie Marks or anything” a squeaky voice said, clearly disappointed. ‘What on hell is a cutie mark?’ Lyle thought before calling out to the trio, “HEY! Crusaders!” “Huh? Who’s that?” Scootaloo asked seeing Lyle. “I will not harm you, your friends: Rainbow Dash and Applejack sent me to help find you” Lyle said, who could tell monster may be on their minds right now. “I know you! You’re that hoo-man thingy Rarity told me about” said the Unicorn filly. “First of all, It’s human, second of all, My name is Lyle” Lyle rolled his eyes at the Unicorn filly. “I’m Sweetie Belle” the Unicorn said. “Ah’m Applebloom” said the Southern accented filly. “And I’m Scootaloo” said the brave looking Pegasus “And together we are…THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS! YAY!!” The fillies shouted loud making Lyle’s ears hurt. ‘I needed those ears you know’ Lyle thought angrily when a sound came from behind. Lyle and the Crusaders turned around to see a chicken thing rising out of a bush, the crusaders screamed and run like hell the other way. “Wait! What’s wrong?” Lyle called to the fillies. “Cockatrice!” yelled Scootaloo “Relax it’s just a random chicken with a lizard tail, I’m sure that’s nothing to worry- Wait…why are my legs all stony?” Lyle asked as the Cockatrice’s eyes glowed red, “AHHHHHHH! I'M TURNED INTO STONE! SOMEONE, HELP ME! AHHHHHHHH--!” Lyle screamed as his whole body turned to stone. Lyle was now fully sealed in stone and could not move an inch, nor could he be aware of that fact as his mind went full blank white on him, a look of shock was present on Lyle's stony face. The Cutie Mark Crusaders ran to get help, leaving Lyle to his stony fate, for now. Author's Note Chapter 4 is up! I hope you enjoy! Chapter 5: Lyle the Stoner!Lyle had just woken up to find something odd, he was back in his apartment, lying on his bed quite comfortably. A clear blue sky was above Lyle as well as a very bright sun giving it’s light. Lyle lay confused, was it all a dream? Was he dreaming that he met a purple nerdy Unicorn in a magical land named Equestria? No Cyan Pegasus with a huge Ego? No honest farmer? The kind but shy Pegasus was just imagination? No Party-crazy pony that would pull a surprise party out of nowhere and was quite random beyond belief? Not a fashion-obsessed drama queen at all? It was one weird dream though, it seemed quite real and honestly would make a decent TV show out of it or something. But Lyle just went outside when the strangest thing had happened: The whole place was suddenly white. This made no sense at all, the sky disappeared and the place was all white and dull, this wasn’t the Earth and it sure as hell wasn’t Equestria, then where was he? “Hello! Anybody? Guy stuck in random white space that could use some help?” Lyle called out, to his annoyance nobody came, “ANYONE!! I KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE!! Urgh this is pointless” Lyle sighed, kicking thin air. … Twilight Sparkle had heard the screams if three fillies running to her door and banging on it, Twilight had wondered what the Crusaders have done this time as she opened the door. “TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT! THE HUMAN HE-“ The Crusaders yelled at the same time. “Okay, slow down! One at a time, deep breathes.” Twilight advised the trio. “Well we got lost in the Everfree Forest-“ Scootaloo started “Then this tall Hoo-man thingy found us and said Rainbow Dash and Applejack were looking for us and he was helping them find us” Sweetie Belle interrupted “And then the Cockatrice came outta nowhere” Applebloom added” “Cockatrice? Then what happened? Did it chase you here?” asked Twilight “It…turned the Hoo-man to stone and we kinda ran to get you” Scootaloo explained reluctantly. “Lyle! Thank you for telling me this, I need to go get the girls, you three need to head back to your houses at once until this is over” Twilight ordered the fillies. “Aw, why can’t we join?” Sweetie Belle complained. “It’s too dangerous” Twilight said as she rushed out the door The Crusaders were left behind as Twilight left to gather the girls and find their missing human. … ‘I have wandered here for hours I think, where am I?’ Lyle thought as he caught his breath from all the running. It was true, Lyle had wandered the white place for a long time seemingly, but nothing came up except white, that’s all this place seemed to be filled of: White, white and more white. However, something was finally sighted in the distance, a strange checkerboard ground was starting to appear and random pink clouds were also present. There was a throne and a strange creature with different kind of limbs seemed to be occupying it, before Lyle could get a word out, the creature turned around. “Why hello there Lyle” the creature greeted Lyle. “How do you know my name?” Lyle asked instinctively “When you are a god of Chaos, you tend to know a lot of things that even Celestia herself wouldn’t know” the creature replied as though it were common knowledge “So you know my name, but what is yours and what are you?” asked Lyle “I am Discord and I am a Draconequus thank you very much” said Discord, who seemed to be a tad bothered by Lyle's ignorance. “Okay, next question, where are we?” Lyle asked his next question “In stone” Discord replied simply, when Lyle looked confused he started to explain, “This white area we’re in is basically a zone that can only be accessed by those trapped in stone such as myself and of course, you as well. Now luckily, we can imagine certain objects and they’ll appear, oh and I wouldn’t bother imagining a way out as you can only be freed from an outside source.” “Damn it!" Lyle cursed before continuing, "Well that sucks, guess I’ll have to wait for those Crusaders to get the others and get me out of here, assuming they're coming” Lyle kicked the air in frustration Lyle looked around and imagined himself a chair and sat down, it was actually quite comfortable but still, this place was boring already! “So how did you end up here Discord?” Lyle asked out of the blue (or white in this case) “Oh, I did bad things and Twilight and her little friends sealed me in stone with their magical Elements of Harmony necklaces” Discord said simply “I see, what bad things did you do?” asked Lyle “Well, let’s just say I flipped houses, made soap ground, and even shortened the day and night cycle, while quite fun it turns out ponies don’t have that view, well except for Pinkie Pie who loves my chocolate rain I make” Discord said so casually, it made Lyle think he’d done it forever. “Sounds like fun, maybe except the whole screwing with Day and Night cycle thing but hey, at least you don’t have to pay for overpriced Chocolate milk” Lyle joked, laughing at his own wit. “It is fun but ponies just don’t see the humor, they’re so BORING! I would rather read every book in Twilight Sparkle's library then try to humor them. “Meh, I’m sure it can’t be that bad! This stone thing however is kinda boring” Lyle said reasonably “1000 years is a very long time to be stuck in stone and then when you finally get out, boom you’re stuck here again, it drives me quite insane hahahaha!” said Discord, giving a slight look of insanity while Lyle sort of looked concerned. … “So what’s the emergency this time Twilight?” asked Pinkie “Is it Lyle again? If he attacked you again, I will show that ruffian a thing or two” Rarity asked looking a bit tough while she spoke. “Lyle hasn’t done anything, more like what happened to him” said Twilight in a cryptic manner. “Well what y’all waiting for? Spit it out!” An impatient Applejack said. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders have been found by Lyle but he got turned to stone by a Cockatrice” Twilight explained “Serves him right” Rainbow Dash muttered under her breath “That’s enough Rainbow Dash, I know full well some of us may not like him, myself included, but nopony should remain in stone unless for good reason such as Discord himself” Twilight replied to Dash’s muttering … “ACHOO!!” Discord sneezed “Bless you” Lyle said kindly. “Sorry about that, I just had that strange feeling when somepony talks about you” Discord said while blowing his nose. “it’s okay” Lyle just shrugged “Wanna watch a movie?” Discord offered “Wait…we can watch movies here?” Lyle asked curiously “With my power we can with just a snap of a finger” Discord said, snapping his fingers to make a living room like setting “FUCK YEAH! I’M IN!!!” Lyle yelled excitedly …. Twilight and friends had been at it in the Everfree Forest for quite a while now, no sign of Lyle’s stone from could be seen anywhere, nightfall was coming down as the last lights of Celestia’s sun were disappearing into the horizon and is being replaced by Luna’s moon. Being in the Everfree Forest is highly dangerous as the monsters are more often and more powerful during the night, thankfully though, Lyle’s statue was coming into plain sight now. It won’t be long before Lyle is free, just a good half an hour should do… …. Lyle and Discord had finished watching a Harry Potter marathon (time does go a bit differently inside of stone), the pair had got up and stretched. “Oh my lord, that was a long ass marathon” Lyle said stretching his legs “Yep, the part where Hermione punches Malfoy in the face will always have a special place in my heart, always hated that guy” Discord replied “Oh he wasn’t that bad, sure he was a dick but he’s kind of that guy you love to hate in a good way” Lyle said reasonably "Whatever" Discord said "And what about the last movie?" Lyle asks Discord, "I loved that movie but they made Harry break the Elder wand, I always hated how they did that! “Perhaps…” Discord tried to continue their discussion, but something happened. Suddenly, Lyle started to disappear, bit by bit at a rapid pace and Discord knew he was about to be free, whereas Lyle did not as he started noticing parts of his body disappearing. “What’s happening?” Lyle asked in a panic “You’re being freed Lyle” Discord explained “What about you? I don’t want to leave you here!” Lyle asked “Oh Don’t worry about me, and besides we can still talk through telepathy thanks to my chaotic powers” Discord said simply. “One last thing quickly, is this all a Dream or in my head? Or was all of this real?” asked Lyle. Discord then responded, “Of course it’s in your head dear boy, but why on earth should it not be real” “Did you just quote Dumbledore? WE ARE SO BEST FRIEN-!” Lyle said, amazed before disappearing Discord looked at the spot where Lyle was before before muttering, "I'm so lonely" … Lyle’s vision was stony, his senses came back one by one as he felt quite stiff and a bad taste came to his tounge and he could see cracks forming until finally it burst open and Lyle was able to move again. “LYLE IS BACK BABY!!!” Lyle announced quite loudly giving a stretch of his muscles “Thank goodness you’re alright” Rarity said from behind. “Thanks I suppose, it’s bloody insane in there!” Lyle said catching a couple of breaths. Silence came for just a moment before Twilight started talking. “Oh, that counts as a point by the way” Twilight said casually to Lyle with a smile on her face. “We’re even but not for very long as the kid gloves will come off” Lyle replied to his rival. “Think what you will” Twilight responded calmly. "I don't think, I know" Lyle replied smoothly. "Smart-flank" Twilight muttered. Lyle shrugged and looked around, “Where is that Rainbow-maned Pegasus? I need to tie her wings up and drop her at terminal velocity from very high up” "I don't know, she was here a minute ago" Pinkie spoke, looking around for her friend. Little did Lyle know that a certain Pegasus was edging further away from Lyle as he spoke… Author's Note Chapter 5 is up! I will be Honest, this chapter felt a bit slow but I wanted to feel a bit cruel to those unlucky enough to be put in stone instead of some instant fast-forward to where they are freed. I admit it could of gone better but the next one will be better! Discord sort of comes a pen-pal basically and he loses a bit of his charm while in stone. Chapter 6: Home Ticket Denied!Meanwhile in Canterlot Castle, Princess Celestia had scientists working on a way to send the human back home, Celestia herself was quite interested in how Lyle even got here, from what Twilight gathered from Lyle, it had been a Magical storm that had sent him here. To Celestia, it seemed too much of a random chance to her at first, she had feared the Human had bad intentions but when she saw him for herself, he was quite rude and grumpy but a good heart none-the-less. Celestia was sitting on her throne at this time, an act that Celestia became very accustomed to it over a VERY long career as a Princess. Suddenly, a pony guard galloped right in through the doors and rushed to Celestia and bowed down to the princess he served. “Rise my little pony, speak” Celestia ordered in a calm voice “News from the scientists you ordered to find a way back to “Earth”, er...your highness” the pony spoke at once “What news?” asked Celestia “They have found a way back, but the bad news is that the way will close in 1 hour” the same pony reported. “Bring me the scientists this instant! There is no time to lose!” Celestia ordered the pony guard and in an instant he ran out. … Around 50 minutes later... Lyle and “Friends” had finally gotten out of the Everfree Forest, Rainbow Dash was nowhere near the angry Lyle as they made their way back to the library under the cover of the night. “Alright, here’s the deal, this incident never happened! It shall never be spoken of again and any attempts will be met with lack of existence if you get my drift, got that?” Lyle said sternly to the others. “Yes Lyle” the others said. “Goodie, now then, I’d like to get some sleep now.” Lyle said, making for the treehouse. Suddenly a very bright light flashed in front of Lyle revealing Princess Celestia and another dark blue Alicorn who seemed to resemble the night, Lyle assumed this was Celestia’s sister that Twilight mentioned before, Lyle believed her name is Luna or something like that. “Sup Princess?” Lyle greeted in a non-caring fashion “You ought to show the Princess a little more respect” Twilight reprimanded “Twilight, Care factor at zero” Lyle muttered to her. “If I may have your attention” Celestia cleared her throat as she continued, “We have some good news and some bad news” “This ought to be good” Lyle muttered again earning a look from Twilight “Good news is that we can send Lyle home-“ Luna starts “YES!!!!” Lyle yelled in victory! “…the bad news is that the portal can only remain possible for 5 minutes and will not be able to open for another 300 moons” Luna continued as though there were no interruption ~~(For those wondering how long that would take really, Looking around it's 2.5 years aprox for 30 moons to pass, a moon is about 27.3 days for those who want to be exact, which people have added to about 819 days or around 2.3- 2.5 years around, times that by ten and you got 8190 days for 300 moons and that be equal to around 22 years. give or take a few months each way, if you really wanna know, try doing the math yourself and comment your answer! TL:DR That's a long FREAKING time to wait for the next portal opening)~~ “Well, whaddya waiting for? Beam me up Scotty!” Lyle said, earning a few weird looks, “What? It’s a classic line from back home! Ah forget it! Just make the stupid portal thingy” “Do you not want to say good-bye?” Luna asked “Quite frankly no, I don’t really want to be attached at all, as far as I’m concerned, this never happened! And I can make a good cover-up story for my disappearance” Lyle said impatiently “If you insist, but you may regret it” Celestia said, slightly shocked at Lyle. “Oh alright, one quick good-bye and that’s it while you’re doing the portal thingy” Lyle gave in. Celestia and Luna put their horns together and charged their horns with magical power to make their portal, which should take a minute… “So yeah, good-bye and all, not a huge pleasure being here but it could be worse” Lyle said awkwardly Pinkie was crying a little bit and lamented, “I never got to give you a Welcome party or a good-bye party!” “If it makes you fell better, I’ll probably raid the fridge of meat when I get back” Lyle said sarcastically. “Ewwww” Fluttershy muttered “Anyway goodbyes” Lyle started before turning to each pony, ”Twilight, thanks for chaining me up you jerk, and next time an species comes along, don’t chain it up or it’ll want to kill you. Pinkie, are you sure you don’t have a drug stash? Fluttershy, er…well we never really talked but well yeah…have fun with those animals. Ego Dash, stop having such an inflated ego, I’m sure people from my world would bring you down faster than you claim to be” Lyle took a quick breath before continuing, “Applejack, honest question for you, why is it for ponies that bucking is pretty much a swear word for ponies when it’s also hitting a tree with your hind legs? And lastly Rarity, thanks for the clothes and all and it’s pronounced Egregious by the way!” Lyle had finished his one-minute good-bye when Celestia and Luna finished making the portal. “This is it” Celestia said as the portal appeared in front “Best go in quick, you only have 30 seconds” said Luna “Well see ya around or not, I will forget you! So long losers who I’ve always hated!” Lyle said as he started running to the portal. With speed that would put Usain Bolt to shame, Lyle ran straight in and dived into the portal with a blinding flash. … YOU DIDN’T THINK IT’D BE THAT EASY DID YOU?! … Lyle had hit a rock very hard in the face dazing him for a while, surprisingly he did not get a concussion at all but at least he was back in his world, quite personally, Lyle could not take another minute of those ponies anyway. “Lyle!” Twilight’s voice rang out from behind. “Wow, I must be imagining Twilight’s annoying voice already” Lyle said out loud to himself. “Lyle!” Twilight's voice took offense “you’re back here in Equestria” Celestia’s voice joined in. Lyle started to notice the world still looked cartoony, a bad sign as he turned around and saw the ponies he could of sworn he left behind. “No….” Lyle said in absolute horror, “No…No, No! NONONONONONONONONONONO! No fucking way! You’re all not real! Must be the portal playing tricks or something” Lyle started freaking out more. Rainbow Dash went up to Lyle and slapped him with her hoof, “Stop being an idiot Lyle, you’re still here!” Realization hit Lyle, it was fact that Lyle had not moved a single inch closer to Earth, “Girls, I need to be alone for a while…” “Uh oh…” Twilight muttered seeing red build up in Lyle’s face “He’s gonna blow!” Pinkie yelled diving behind a bunker like cover as everypony else did the same. 3… 2… 1… FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Chapter 7: Where do I go from here?Lyle had watched plenty of movies and played a good amount of games, some with the tragic “You can’t go home” effect added in, they never seemed to go into this too much but now that it had happened to him, it was really more painful than they do show you! The feeling of being denied the chance to go home forever is quite depressing, sure it’s technically 300 moons but to Lyle, it may as well be forever, HE. DID. NOT. BELONG. HERE! So for the past few days after that, Lyle was quite depressed, something of which he though he’d never be and for that matter, so did everypony that knew him, so much that he actually shedded tears, not openly but Twilight and Applejack did spot it but said nothing. …. “Okay it’s been three days and he’s still depressed!” A voice rang out, belonging to Twilight Sparkle. “Well, it must be completely heartbreaking to be denied like that” Rarity responded reasonably. “But he should of calmed down by now” Twilight replied back in annoyance “Um…if I say something…if that’s ok with you…” Fluttershy starts. “What’s up?” Dash asks “Well, we should see thing from his point of view, wouldn’t you be upset if you suddenly couldn’t come home for a very long time?” Fluttershy asked her friends There was a murmur of agreement but Applejack spoke first “Ah still reckon he oughta calmed himself down by now” “Maybe…” Twilight muttered to herself. “Oh come on! He needs to quit being a pansy and grow a pair! He was practically banging the rock hoping for a portal to appear a couple of days ago” Rainbow Dash blurted out. … 2 days ago… “Alright Rock, I know you still have that portal and I’M GONNA MAKE YOU GIVE IT TO ME! CHHHHAAAAAAARRRRRRGGEEEE!!!” Lyle screamed as he charged at the rock Lyle hit the rock as hard as he could with his fists but to no avail but pain did come. “COME OUT! (WHAM!) YOU STUPID (WHAM!) PORTAL!! (WHACK!)” Lyle yelled as he pounded the rock Lyle puffed and he finally grown tired and walked back to the library but before he did he put a threatening look the rock. “I’ll be Back!” … “And that’s not the worst part” Rainbow continued “So what are we going to do about it?” Rarity asked the gang. “A SUPER-DUPER PARTY!!! Like a Sorry-you-didn’t-make-it-home party!” Pinkie said excitedly “Pinkie…” Everypony else started “I’ll go get the Party Cannon!” Pinkie said, rushing in a pink blur. “(Sigh) Why do we even bother sometimes?” Twilight asked herself …. Lyle was out at the same bar area they dined previously; he had been in that bar for three days in a row now. He had met the bar’s owner named Berry Punch who seemed to take a liking to the human. Yesterday, he bumped into Vinyl Scratch, a DJ that goes by the name of DJ-PON3 on the stage and a mare who was more into classical music called Octavia who Lyle was reminded of an old friend who liked classical music. So Lyle was in the same spot he was always in, drinking some cider. A thought occurred to him on how his mother and sister must be feeling, a week he has been gone. There was no apparent way to get back and assure them he was okay, Lyle was full of guilty feelings, he should of just jumped into the portal instead of giving these ponies precious time! But Lyle also swore on everything that he had heard a demonic voice when he jumped in, almost as though it were denying him his ticket home. He Missed his family…A LOT! "Lyle, you really gotta stop drinking so much man" Berry Punch, the owner told him. "I'm fine, and besides it helps me" said Lyle. "Not too much though, and besides you're more depressed than a Pegasus losing their wings in an accident" Berry pointed out "I guess...I just miss my family more than I thought I ever would before I came to this cartoony Hellhole" Lyle said as his thoughts reflected to them. Lyle had no idea exactly how his family and friends were going but he guessed not good, any hopes of the internet were gone as all of Lyle's technology was not with him when he teleported. Then again, no one the other side knew what was happening here and they wouldn't believe it anyway... … Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, Planet Earth “Still haven’t found Lyle?” a young teenage girl spoke out. “No they haven’t, they’ve looked everywhere in the city and they haven’t found him yet” a older female voice spoke out. The two humans conversing were none other than Lyle’s mother and Younger sister, it took them a whole day to realize that Lyle had just vanished into thin air, no sign of a struggle in his apartment at all, although there was a scorch mark but nothing more. The Police were called and started the search at once and so did Lyle’s few friends who also noticed him missing, it was most unlike Lyle to disappear willingly as he loved sticking to this city but there was no sign of kidnapping. Over the course of a week, messages and everything were sent to Lyle’s phone and facebook and everything. Lyle's little sister decided to check Lyle's wall again in false hopes he had messaged something. 6 Days ago… Thomas Anderson Dude, where are you? Your parents are worried sick and all, and so are we. You didn’t show up to work at all and you haven’t been in your apartment or anywhere when we checked. Is everything ok? Sarah Alexander Lyle, your mother said you’ve been missing for a while, please let us know you’re safe! Sydney isn’t as safe as people say it is, did something happen? My door will be open… 5 Days ago… Edward “Speedy Gonzales” Jackson Lyle my man, everyone be saying you disappeared. I don’t want to be believe but I ain’t heard nothing from you, did you flip shit out on your parents? You know you can stay with me if that’s the case, I’m always open and all that but can you let us know you’re safe? Everybody is worried about you man, even that asshole Chris is worried about you man! 3 days ago… Bella Cowan Sweetie, I’m worried! Everybody around been saying you disappeared without a trace, I tried calling you phone and I got nothing and I tried searching everywhere you might go for you and I can’t find you! Was it something I did? If I did, I’m sorry alright? Just come back to us please! If your mother freaks out any more, I’m afraid she’ll get a heart attack in worry. Donna Dawson Lyle, this is your younger sister, Donna. Mum is really stressed out and it’s only been four days, she fears for your safety and I do too as your younger sister, I know Mum is trying to be strong but she’s be crying herself to death for the past three nights! And I can’t stand it anymore! COME BACK THIS INSTANT!! 2 days ago… Lyn Dawson Lyle, Son…where are you? I came to your apartment to discover you’ve been missing, I tried all of your friends and co-workers but they haven’t seen you, is everything alright? If you’ve been hurt or worse, I don’t think I can bear the thought it may be because of our argument. I just want my son back! Safe and sound! We love you so much Lyle, no matter what happens, remember that. Yesterday… Daniel Dawson Lyle, I know we haven’t really talked since the divorce and I know you’re mad about that but that gives you no excuse to just disappear on us! I came home from work to discover your sister telling me that you’ve gone missing! I may be a bad father in your eyes, but I don’t want my only son to be any danger! Please contact one of us and end the worry! I’ll look for you myself if I have to! Remember, your mother and I love you very much, no matter what happens. Today… Bella Cowan Lylie sweetie, it’s been a week! How could you still be gone? I MISS YOU!!! I felt it, that feeling as though you may not be coming back for a while, it worries me! I don’t want that to be true! I love you, always have and always will! I’ve been worried out of my mind, all of us have, your mother is in a right state, we all have you in our thoughts in prayers. Thomas Anderson Ok, seriously! This game is not funny anymore! You win the stupid game! NOW COME BACK HOME!! Did I do something wrong? We’ll make amends and go back to the way things were meant to be! JUST SHOW YOUR DAMN FACE AND STOP FUCKING HIDING!!!!! 5 minutes ago… Sarah Alexander Lyle, if you are playing a very cruel trick on us, it’s not funny anymore! Tom is really pissed, he thinks you’ve been hiding somewhere because of something. If you’re mad at him, I understand but can you please let us know you’re safe. You're our friend Lyle! Bella hasn't cried so much tears since her mother died and i think anymore and she will snap just like Tom has. Now… Edward “Speedy Gonzales” Jackson Dude, dick move! Tom’s in a bloody rage that you won’t show up, he almost got himself in serious trouble, your mother’s depressed beyond belief and you’ve appeared everywhere on TV and the local papers asking if they’ve seen you. Why? I want to know why you’ve disappeared and why aren’t you coming back? Your sister was practically praying to god for you to return and she’s an atheist at that too! COME BACK! Please? To Lyle's family and Friends, it just wasn't the same... Who knows what Lyle is up to or if he even is alive anymore... … Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle… The Two Royal sisters were arguing in the throne room, what about? Celestia's plan to reform the spirit of Disharmony and Chaos itself, DISCORD! “Sister, you cannot be serious!” Luna said in disgust to his sister “I’m serious Luna, I believe Discord can be reformed and the Elements of Harmony are the key to that” Celestia stated her plan clear as day. “But Discord almost won last time he was set free” Luna argued “Even he can see the error of his ways, we will not argue this any longer, tomorrow we will reform Discord” Celestia said as though it were final “Fine! But if the world ends up in chaos because of this silly reforming business than you’re on your own getting it back” “Lulu…” Celestia started but Luna was already out of the door It’s time… Author's Note Okay, so i hope you like that Facebook part where everyone is concerned. I Seldom see any Human activity wondering where our protagonist has gone so i decided to do so myself! I'll leave you to deduce what has happened fully in the Human world. Chapter 8: ReformedLyle and “Friends” were all outside Ponyville waiting for Princess Celestia who had sent a letter in advance telling them all to be waiting for her. “So why are we here?” Lyle asked first. “Because the Princess told us to” Twilight answered “Ok more specific, why am I here? I have nothing to do with your stupid affairs anyway” Lyle asked again “Because it’s high time you did something useful for a change other than drinking cider until you’re drunk enough to start charging at the rock so it could make a portal” Twilight replied indignantly “Well excuse me for having my home ticket denied and the next bus to it is FUCKING FOREVER!! Lyle shot back with venom in Twilight’s direction “You could at LEAST BE GRATEFUL WE HELPED YOU MAKE IT EASIER!” Twilight raised her own voice as well “BULLSHIT!! YOU ONLY HELPED ME BECAUSE YOUR STUPID PRINCESS ORDERED YOU TO! YOU HAD NO INTENTION WHATSOEVER OF KEEPING ME HERE! YOU WERE GONNA KNOCK ME OUT FOR YOUR RESEARCH OR KILL ME! SO DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME!” Lyle shouted all he could muster at Twilight “THAT STUPID PRINCESS SO HAPPENS TO BE MY MENTOR YOU…YOU DICK!! SO QUITE FRANKLY, YOU CAN SHOW A LITTLE BIT OF RESPECT TO OUR PRINCESS OR LEAVE EQUESTRIA!! Twilight yelled back. “I WOULD BUT IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, I CAN’T BECAUSE SOMETHING PREVENTED ME FROM DOING SO!! AND I AM DOOMED TO SUFFER YOU PONIES AND YOUR STUPID FRIENDSHIP BULLSHIT!!” Lyle went even higher! Unknown to everypony else, Celestia had arrived with a statue of Discord himself and was quite shocked to hear an argument and went to intervene. “ENOUGH!!!” Celestia used to Royal Canterlot voice “Princess Celestia!” Everypony but Lyle said in surprise and bowed “And the leader of the bullshit returns” Lyle muttered “What is this arguing all about?” Celestia asked the pair of them “Nothing” Both Lyle and Twilight said at the same time. “Is this going to interrupt what I’m about to task you all?” Celestia asked. “No” the both of them replied. “Okay, so why is Discord’s statue here?” Rainbow Dash asked. “well, I believe you six are the only ones that can do this task and that is to show Discord the magic of friendship, I believe if he sees the magic of it, he may see the error of his ways” Celestia pointed her hoof to Discord’s statue “Princess…not to sound rude or anything, BUT ARE YOU FREAKING OUTTA YOUR SMALL MIND?!” Lyle bursted out. “Ah Agree with Lyle on this one” Applejack added “And what’s worse is that he could very spell disaster” Twilight chiped in as well. “I know it’s a little crazy, but I have faith in you six ponies, you have proven your abilities” Celestia reasoned. “Well this is gonna end well” Lyle muttered under his breath “You may free Discord when ready” Celestia said as the guards with her struggled to put the statue down “Well let’s do this before lunch time” Lyle said as the sun was starting to hit around 10 o’clock from the looks “You won’t be helping them Lyle” Celestia turned to Lyle suddenly “Say what now?” Lyle looked confused “You and I are going to have a chat as well as Luna” Celestia explained simply. “What about?” Lyle asked suspiciously “You’ll see once we’re at Canterlot Castle” replied Celestia. The others were Silent as Celestia ordered Lyle to hold on to her as she took Lyle in a white flash and the pair of them disappeared. Deciding to start their task, the Mane Six got to work on reforming Discord. … (FLASH!!) Lyle and Celestia landed in a room within Canterlot Castle, the best way to describe it was it had quite stoney like walls, but still gad a new glamour about it. Red carpet was lined neatly throughout the middle of the room as well as red cushiony chairs (pony chairs of course). On the other hand, the manner of entering had gotten Lyle by surprise as he experience as spinning and suffocating experience in an almost instantaneous teleportation. “Urgh…” Lyle started as suddenly he felt the need to throw up and dived for the nearest pot plant, “BLAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!” “Oh dear, I should probably of warned you about the sensation, forgive me” Celestia commented as Lyle throwed his breakfast up. Lyle was finally done with that little incident, he was shown to a chair by Celestia who sat down. The doors opened and none other than Princess Luna trotted in and made for a chair next to Celestia. “Ah yes, I believe I never did introduce you to my dear sister, Princess Luna did I?” Celestia waved a hoof to the Princess of the Night “No, pleasure is all yours Princess” Lyle replied in a deadpan wau. “An Honor to meet the resident Human at last” Luna said happily Luna was exactly as her name and title suggested, her coat was a Midnight Blue colour and her mane and tail were waving much like Celestia’s but it showed the Night Sky. Luna looked much younger than Celestia did but still taller than the average pony and falling a head short of her sister. “So what’s this chat about? Surely you didn’t bring me here to introduce me to your sister” Lyle said after a brief moment of silence. “No, I did not, it’s about you Lyle” Celestia responded “About me?” Lyle looked to both Princesses “Yes, I think it’s best I get straight to the point, the whole incident of being denied home has worried ponies, most especially Twilight and her friends” Celestia indeed went straight to the point “Oh? They do have a problem with me now?” Lyle went defensive “That is not what I said, we are concerned for your behavior. From what Twilight tells me, you’ve been drinking yourself to death and you’ve shed tears and this must stop or else something rash will happen” Celestia remained calm in saying her point “What? Can’t a guy get depressed in peace?” Lyle asked “It’s bad for you Lyle, and also this whole “Hate” you and Twilight have is completely without reason” Luna added “But-“ Lyle started. “Luna is correct, you’ve been rather angry and that’s understandable but you’ve been like this since you got here and I think we deserve to know why” said Celestia “Fine…we’ll start from the beginning” Lyle sighed as he adjusted himself … Back in Ponyville, Fluttershy was attempting to reform Discord with chaotic results but in the end, she managed to get a dinner party at her cottage and invited the rest of the bearers over. Of course, skepticalness was shared around all the ponies, most especially Twilight and Rainbow Dash. But if they play their cards right, Discord may just become a friend rather than a foe. Of course, Discord wasn’t going to make it that easy… … “And then I threw a bone at him, true story” Lyle finished “But you said you’d explain why you’re being angry” Luna said in a confused tone “Sorry, that’s been happening a lot, now then where was I?” Lyle apologized A Small pause took place and Lyle began to explain… “Well, before I came here to Equestria by that stupid Lightning storm, shit had really hit the fan. I did have friends back there and no doubt they’d be looking for me now or think I’m dead sooner or later." Lyle started explaining Celestia and Luna had been paying attention so far, so Lyle continued... "Now, I kinda had a special someone back there called Bella, a nice girl who I had a nice relationship of ten months until three weeks ago, I caught her cheating!” Lyle explained more “Why would somepony do that? That’s rather unethical isn’t it?” Luna asked “You two clearly have no idea how Earth works, it’s not sunshine and rainbows with some random Alicorn pony making sure everything is fine. Sometimes people like a girl for the…you know…bom chicka wow wow!” Lyle replied “What on Faust are those noises you’re making?” Celestia asked curiously. “Oh fine! Basically the Sex!” Lyle got agitated by their ignorance. “Ohhhhhh” Both Princess finally understood what Lyle meant. “So anyway, I came home and I found my girlfriend having the you know…69 on MY bed! So naturally I was really pissed and shouted them out, I was given a lot of excuses from her over the next few days but I ignored her and broke up with her.” Lyle continued “So what else happened?” Luna asked with interest “So naturally I stopped talking to her before and then one week later it got worse, My dad divorced my mum, I always hated my father but that just angered me. And a few days after that and before I got here, I got fired from my dream job, the dream job I spent years trying to get was over because some financial BULLSHIT!! Well that's the main things in a nutshell” Lyle explained further. “That’s…” Luna couldn’t find the words to say “Worst luck ever right now, and I would describe to full effect but you get the gist, and then of course I got here, and I sorta just went “HELL NO!” and got out of there. And I guess the fact I got denied home went harder on me then I thought” Lyle went on. “It seems bad luck has cursed you over the last month and it’s only natural of what happened, but I must ask this, do you really dislike Twilight because of her irrational behavior at the time or just the result of these events?” Luna asked Lyle with a serious look. Lyle thought hard about his behavior and he realized where he was going wrong with this. “Well I guess it must be everything just hitting the fan, it’s just so stressful and it’s like everybody just expects me to drop all my ties to my friends and family and live happily ever after. It just doesn’t happen instantly, maybe over time I would but…I’ve been such a jerk to Twilight!” Lyle realized the error of his ways. “Not to sound rude but it is true…” Luna said trailing off at the look her sister gave her “I took it all out on Twilight I suppose…I should at least apologize to her, but we are not going to be pals instantly okay?” Lyle decided his next course of action A Emerald green flame appeared in the form of a letter, it said that Discord had been successfully reformed. “Well, it looks like they completed their task” Celestia announced “Well that’s good” Lyle said “I feel I should apologize too Tia, I doubted their ability and therefore doubted you, I apologize” Luna apologized to her sister “You need not apologize Luna, it’s only natural to think what you did” Celestia replied and turned to Lyle, “Well, I believe we must go get Discord and make it official” Celestia said … 20 minutes earlier… “NOT. YOUR. FRIEND!” an angry Fluttershy said to Discord, she walked in the other direction on an Ice rink Discord made on Sweet Apple Acres. “Who cares? I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I'm Discord, the master of chaos! You think you can boss Discord around? You think I'm just going to turn all this back because you say so? Because if I don't, I'll lose the one friend I ever had?” Discord went on arrogantly until it suddenly hit him, he was just about to lose the only one he ever cared about and the guilt came from his actions as he looked to Fluttershy trotting in the other direction to the empty ice skates he offered her. “Well played Fluttershy, well played” With that, Discord sat on a tree feeling down as he turned everything back to the way it was, it was then Discord learned the importance of friendship. Present… (FLASH!) “BLAAAARRGGHHH! Urgh…Teleportation…never again!” Lyle muttered after a teleportation back to Ponyville. “Discord, are you ready to use your magic for good and not evil?” Celestia asked the Draconequus “Yes Princess, I am ready to use my chaotic magic for good not evil” Discord said robotically and added under his breath nastily, “Most of the time” “Say it” Fluttershy said next to Discord with an encouraging smile “Fine, Friendship is Magic!” Discord groaned “So, that’s that I suppose” Rarity said “Not quite” Celestia said before turning to Lyle and adding, “Lyle has something to say” “Wha-“ Twilight started before Lyle went forward. Lyle slightly crouched down to eye level with Twilight and was ready to make amends. “Listen Twilight, I know this past week has been really bad and the events before I came here were all taken out on you and your friends and that was really uncalled for as I realize this now. Anyway, what I’m saying is that, I’m sorry for all the things I did, I'm not expecting to come pals, but at least maybe forgiveness” Lyle spoke his apology as sincere as he could. Twilight pondered for a moment before saying, “Of course I’ll accept your apology Lyle, this staying mad at each other thing is really tiring. So what do you say? Start over as friends?” Twilight responded “Okay then, the slate is clean and it’s a fresh start” Lyle said Suddenly Pinkie Pie sped into the pair getting them into a tight hug. “I’m sooooooo happy right now! You two made up and everypony is the bestest friends with each other!” Pinkie said over-excitedly. “Pinkie…can’t…breathe!” Both Lyle and Twilight said while stuck in the hug but Pinkie let go Pinkie then came to sudden realization, she had not given Lyle a welcome party in the week he’s been there! IMPOSSIBRU!!! “GAAAASSSSP! We need to give Lyle a party NOW! Twilight’s library, 5 minutes, I’ll get the party cannon!” Pinkie gasped loudly as she sped off the do her thing “Umm…what just happened?” Lyle asked, giving off a shrug. “It’s Pinkie Pie darling, that’s all you need to know” Rarity answered. “Come on you guys, all this reforming has made me starving.” Twilight said, beginning to make her way back to the library. Everypony else went except for Lyle, Discord and Celestia. “Thanks for helping me realize all this Princess” Lyle spoke after 30 seconds of silence “Not a problem, It’s good to see you are all on good terms with each other” said Celestia “So, you coming to the party while you’re here?” asked Lyle “I’m afraid not, I’ve much to do in a short time and I’ve got to do some arrangements for Discord, we’ll see each other soon and in more high spirits I hope.” Celestia declined the party invite and turned to Discord, “Shall we head back to the castle?” “I suppose so” Discord said in a bored tone The pair of them disappeared in a flash back to Canterlot, the sun was getting lower and it was time to experience Pinkie Pie’s famous parties that he hears so much about… Author's Note Okay, Okay I'm releasing this stupid chapter. it's been what two or three months since the last one came up. But to be honest, This story may end soon as I got another HIE I like a lot better! I promise to finish what I started!
Chapter 1: The BeginningLyle was lying down on his bed inside his apartment; the night outside was stormy with huge gusts of wind and rain pelting the windows, normal lightning storm, No? Strangely enough, Lyle could have sworn he saw different colored lightning once or twice, but he deduced he was just tired from the late hour and should really go to sleep, those late nighters won't do Lyle any favors at all. The storm was right over his apartment sounding much like a shotgun everytime the thunder came, but the lightning was every so often a different color such as: red, blue, orange and even a purple one showed up. It really was time to get to sleep. Lyle went to take one last look out of the window when suddenly a yellow lightning blot shaped like a hand zapped straight into him through the window without so much as breaking the window, Lyle got zapped instantly with a slight yelp of pain and disappeared completely, all that was left was some black soot on the ground. Lyle had just disappeared. … Meanwhile in Ponyville, Twilight and friends were outside the town enjoying a rare event involving a shooting star shower that happens only once every 150 years. Funnily enough, Luna does not do this event, which makes it a natural event and that makes it even more extraordinary. Twilight and friends were not missing this chance even for the end of the world as all of them gathered with a light picnic. Some ponies couldn’t wait for it to start… “Oh my gosh! I cannot wait for this start!” said Dash impatiently. “I’msuperduperexcitedandthisthingislikereeeaallllyyrarebutimsogoshdarnexicted!” Pinkie Pie excitedly said in one breath somehow. “It’ll start soon in about 5 minutes” said Twilight, who knew the exact time it would happen. The group of friends had finished setting up their positions to watch the shower when Pinkie Pie had spotted one such comet. “It’s starting you guys!” said an excited Pinkie The others looked up to see one comet moving in the sky before Rarity asked, “Why is there only one comet? Surely there are multiple comets that make such a beautiful shower?” Rainbow Dash however, noticed something odd about the comet, it was heading this way, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say that comet is heading this way!” Rainbow Dash was in fact right on the money, the comet was indeed heading this way and the group dived into cover to avoid the comet that was quite flying extremely low before crashing some 100 meters away. “W-what was that?” a scared Fluttershy asked “Ah have no idea” admitted Applejack “Well, no use sticking around here girls, let’s check it out” Twilight said rushing to the crater it made. A strange bipedal creature was found in the crater, a stranger creature could not have been found anywhere in Equestria and there were some strange creatures too, especially as the crater was right next to the Everfree Forest. The part that left Twilight dumbfounded was that the creature had no signs of being hurt at all, just unconscious. There was no logical explanation that a creature falling at this speed could suffer no damage whatsoever, it defied all laws of physics right there. Silence came before Fluttershy nervously asked the million bit question, “W-What is that t-thing?” “No idea, Fluttershy” admitted Twilight “Oooh, is it an Alien? Maybe it’s come to enslave us all!” said Pinkie in a spooky manner leaving Fluttershy even more scared then she was now. “Pinkie really…” started Twilight “We come in peeeeaacceee! Then BAM! LASER WEAPONS EVERYWHERE!! And then the probing comes! It’s gonna be so totally super-duper cool!” said Pinkie, rambling on and on. “Pinkie, stop!” warned Twilight “Awww” moaned Pinkie “Now then, we don’t know what this creature could be or if it’s friendly so we got to be cautious about this” said Twilight looking at the creature with no expression showing at all but caution. Rainbow Dash gave a look that said she wanted to attack it while Twilight was curious about it, but the others except Pinkie Pie wanted to stay away from it. “We’ll take this creature back, and it’ll be under lock and key” decided Twilight after a while. “Are yer sure this is a good idea?” asked Applejack, who looked quite doubtful. “Positive, this creature is clearly alien, no doubt about-” started Twilight “I KNEW IT!” interrupted Pinkie “…but was there a reason this thing came here? Or was it an accident?” Twilight continued as if there were no interruption at all. “Um…what should we do now?” asked Fluttershy “Go home, meanwhile I’ll be up for another all-nighter trying to study this thing” replied Twilight “You sure you don’t want me to stay Twilight? He could get free and I’ll pound that alien into millions of pieces if he tries ANYTHING” said Dash, putting her hoofs in the air to punch an invisible enemy. "I"ll be fine Rainbow, but thanks for your concern" said Twilight who started magicking the creature up. … The Next Morning… Lyle woke up, but the place he woke up was not his bed in his apartment, in fact it was a hard platform where his arms were chained along with his legs to prevent any movement and a bright light was shining on his face. Panic came all too quickly to Lyle was he started struggling with no success to get out of his predicament. Lyle was truly trapped and he started yelling stupidly in hope someone would help him, “HEY! HEY!! SOMEONE! I’M TRAPPED HERE! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE!” No one came for a full five minutes, a very, very long five minutes until the strangest thing he has ever seen came into his sight: A Purple Unicorn. This Unicorn looked quite young but smart at the same time, she had a strange tattoo on her flank area, she had a violet mane and tail. This purple Unicorn was holding a clipboard with some magic force coming out of her horn and Lyle tensed up as he realized this must be his captor. Before Lyle can do anything else, the unicorn opened her mouth. “Hello? Do you understand me?” asked Twilight, making the first move “Yes” said Lyle, interestingly enough it seemed that the Unicorn was quite shocked to hear the answer. “Well-“ started Twilight before Lyle interrupted. “Okay, what do you want from me? I have absolutely nothing to give anyone, I'm of no use and also, I demand I be let free” said Lyle, stating his wishes. “I will if I see that you are harmless-“ Twilight started again. “I am harmless!” Lyle interrupted angrily. “Do not interrupt! If you are indeed harmless, then I will let you free, deal?” said Twilight, trying to keep the situation under control “Deal” said Lyle, who wanted this done quickly and painlessly as possible. Twilight Sparkle had started consulting her notebook to her questions she was going to ask the creature if she could understand the creature and began her interrogation. “What are you called?” Twilight asked her first question “My name is Lyle, and my kind is called a human” said Lyle “How did you arrive here?” asked Twilight “I really don’t know, Miss-?” started Lyle “Twilight” interrupted Twilight “Twilight, yeah…anyway, all I know is some weird lightning storm came and then I woke up chained up here, which I dunno about whatever you are, but Humans don’t like being chained up!” said Lyle indignantly “What is your planet’s name?” asked Twilight “Wait? I’m not on Earth?” asked Lyle confused. “This is Equestria Lyle, you are not on this Earth place you speak of” said Twilight, sternly stating this fact. “Great, and I’m on a planet of loony cartoon looking ponies! Fan-fucking-tastic!” an angry Lyle said loudly. “If you want to prove you’re harmless then I would keep it down” advised Twilight. “I’m trying but I have no clue where I am for starters” said Lyle reasonably “You are in the kingdom of Equestria on the planet of Equus” Twilight explained their current location. “Prove it” Lyle challenged Twilight to do so “I suppose I can show you the outside briefly but do not try anything” Twilight agreed to show Lyle outside. 'Okay, hope this works' Lyle thought as Twilight walked towards him. Twilight started to take the chains off Lyle slowly as Lyle did not make any moves at all and finally the chains came off. As soon as Twilight had her back turned, Lyle saw his chance and charged Twilight into the wall and slammed her head hard on the wall so it knocked her out cold. Lyle was quite shocked at what he had done as he looked down to his victim and felt as though he kicked a cute puppy and ran for his life up the stairs and almost to the front door before a Purple dragon stopped him. “Out of my way, lizard!” said Lyle “What did you do to Twilight?” The dragon asked threateningly, seeming to have known something was up. “She’s out cold, now I suggest you move before I do something I really don’t want to do for the second time!” warned Lyle “Never!” Spike denied the human the exit Lyle put up three fingers in the air, “One…” Lyle put down on finger, “Two…” Spike still did not move, but it may be a big mistake. “Three!”, Lyle charged as Spike did the same, but Lyle was smart and grabbed the Dragon by the tail and swung him straight into the wall behind him, which dazed the young drake. Looking upon his work with extreme guilt, Lyle ran like hell out of the door and as fast as he could away from here, where he went did not matter, as long as it was as away from here as possible!
Chapter 2: RunningIf Lyle ran any faster than he did now, then he honestly could not remember it, as he ran as fast as he could from the tree house and away from Twilight and the dragon he knocked out. Guilt came over Lyle as he ran, but there was no time to go over those feeling as other ponies stared his direction as he ran like hell out of town. … Twilight Sparkle had woken up, her mind reminded her of what happened before she was knocked out and looked around to find Lyle was gone! Twilight knew what he had done: He took advantage of her while her back was turned and knocked her out! Galloping upstairs as fast as she could, Twilight found Spike dazed against the wall and knew Lyle had attacked Spike too, which Twilight got so angry that she was going teach him a lesson even if it’s the last thing she does! “Spike! Spike! Are you alright?” Twilight asked, worried out of her mind. “Urgh…Twilight? The alien…escaped, I tried to stop it but it was too strong” Spike said slowly, he was still dizzy but he was fine otherwise but Twilight had work to do! “Don't blame yourself Spike, you did all you could but I need you to send an urgent letter to the Princess at once! It’s just as I feared, the Alien is a danger to everypony and must be stopped at once!” ordered Twilight. “What about you?” asked Spike. “I’m getting the others to stop that Alien” Twilight answered before rushing out of the doorway. … 20 minutes later… Lyle had finally managed to find the exit to the town, which he found out was called Ponyville. The name made no sense to Lyle but he supposed that it was indeed full of these ponies with their wings and horns, even ones without either existed upon which, Lyle noticed the ones without a wing or a horn looked a lot more buff than the other ponies did. Finally, Lyle had time to breathe once he was satisfied he was a certain distance away from Ponyville. He did not know how exactly he got here but one thing’s for certain: He had to get the hell out and fast! “There you are!” an angry voice rang out from behind Lyle. … 15 minutes previously… Within 5 very short minutes, Twilight Sparkle had gathered her five friends, whom she trusted with her life and started explaining her situation. “Darling, what is this all about? You’re awfully angry about something” Rarity stating her concern for her purple friend. “The Alien who calls itself Lyle is on the loose” said Twilight, her eyes flaring in such anger. “WHAT?!” yelled the other five. “He attacked me from behind as well as Spike and escaped” Twilight explained what happened. “What? But how did he escape those chains?” asked Dash confused. “I…I let him free to prove to him where we were, he was from a different planet and he had a hard time believing it…I thought he’d be harmless and…I was fool! A Foolish FOOL!” Twilight said kicking herself with shame. “I knew I should have stayed with you!” said Dash pointing a hoof at her. “You leave her alone Rainbow! Anypony would have made the same mistake” said Fluttershy, rushing to Twilight’s defense. “Oh yeah? I’d have thought we'd all remember what happened last time Twilight let her guard down on the unknown!” Dash shot back, hurting Twilight’s pride greatly. A memory suddenly came back to the group, a memory of something Twilight and friends would rather forget for all eternity. But right now the group didn’t seem to be getting anywhere closer to their goals. “Girls…” Twilight started. “Ah reckon yer have no right to criticizing Twilight when yer gone done some stupid things yerself” interjected Applejack. “Girls…” Twilight tried again. “Oh really? Have you completely forgot about “Applebucking season”? or maybe the whole Dodge Junction incident? Just because you were too stubborn to accept Twilight’s help” Rainbow recalled certain events Applejack wasn’t too proud of. “Yer one to talk! How about the “Best Young Flier” competition?” Applejack shot back at the Pegasus. “If it wasn’t for Rarity trying to show me up every 2 seconds, I’d of been just fine!” said Dash, who was putting the blame on Rarity “How DARE you put all the blame on me!” Rarity entered the fray now. The arguing went on and on and on until Twilight had just about enough and raised her voice. “ENOUGH!!” Twilight yelled in a voice that rivaled the Royal Canterlot Voice. Nevertheless, the group was silenced and Twilight continued, “Yes, we have all made foolish mistakes in the past but if we act like foals about it then we aren’t getting anywhere! We got through these mistakes because we stuck together with our friendship and helped each other out no matter what stood before us, not bickering over past mistakes like little foals! Now then, we have an Alien that could be danger to anypony it comes in contact with and I need your help to capture it before SOMEPONY gets hurt!” Twilight’s words had brought the other five to shame and they thankfully saw the error of their ways and apologized to each other at once. “Now then” Twilight started once everypony had apologized to each other, “We have an Alien to catch and a short amount of time to do so before somepony gets hurt” “Well we ain’t finding anything twiddling our hooves here” said Dash impatiently “Well I suggest both you and Fluttershy try to find him from the air, Rarity and I will go one side of town and Applejack and Pinkie Pie will go to the other and if you see him send one of you to find the others, clear?” said Twilight, whom explained her plan that she made up on the spot. Everypony split up in their groups, The Pegasi took to the sky at once, Twilight and Rarity went on direction while Applejack and Pinkie Pie went the other direction. The Hunt for the Human was on! ... 10 minutes later... Twilight Sparkle and Rarity were searching the west side of Ponyville, their searches so far have been unsuccessful. Twilight had flared her horn with a sensing spell to sense anything that neither pony nor dragon, it was quite an effective spell to find somepony that could be suspicious, unfortunately however, the spell had a short range and it drained a decent bit of magical energy, what's worse it had picked up nothing. "This is useless! I've walked everywhere and the sensing spell hasn't picked up a thing" a frustrated Twilight said. "Calm down darling, good things come to those who wait" Rarity tried to keep Twilight calm. "But he could of done something really bad especially after he hurt Spike" Twilight argued. "As much as I hate that uncouth ruffian for hurting poor Spikey-wikey, we shall not solve this with violence" said Rarity "I'll try to minimize but this isn't going to be solved the easy way" said Twilight looking ahead ... Applejack and Pinkie Pie had regrouped after searching the east side of town and much like Twilight and Rarity, they didn't find the human either. "Find anything?" asked Applejack "Nopey-dopey, I checked every super-secret hiding spot in Ponyville and even asked everypony! Oh he's gooood!" said Pinkie "Ah horseapples, ah hope the others are getting better luck than us" Applejack said "Don't worry Applejack, our friends have never failed to pull through in the end" Pinkie said assuringly "Well we best keep looking, you keep an eye out too, ya hear?" Applejack said starting to go one direction "Oki-doki-loki!" said Pinkie bouncing another direction ... Up in the air, Rainbow Dash was keeping a bird's eye view of Ponyville along with her shy friend, Fluttershy. Nopony could beat Rainbow Dash's speed and the human will never escape Rainbow Dash's sight as she has eyes like a griffon. Her eyes did indeed find the human just outside of town much to her satisfaction, it was time for payback for what he did to Twilight and Spike! "Fluttershy, I found the human, go tell Twilight and the others he's over there" said Dash "But what about you?" Fluttershy asked "I'll hold him down until you all get here" Dash said simply Rainbow Dash zoomed down to the ground at breakneck speed and landed behind the human unnoticed... … Now… “There you are” a voice rang out behind Lyle. Lyle turned around to see who the unknown voice was from, he found a Cyan winged pony with a look of anger that rivaled that of a dragon that was poked in the eye whilst asleep. “What do you want?” asked Lyle with contempt “You hurt Twilight!” said Dash angrily but getting to the point. “Oh yeah? Well do me a favor and get out of my life and pass a message that as far as I'm concerned, she can go straight to hell!” said Lyle, who quite frankly, did not care too much. “No can do! You hurt my friends, you answer to me!” said Dash bravely. “Adorable, She chained me up when I did nothing wrong and I wanted out, so I had to knock her out but trust me when I say it could have been a lot worse! She's the bad guy here!” Lyle shot back at his winged enemy. “I don’t trust you” said Dash “What a lovely surprise, listen up featherbrain cause I’m going to say this once only! Get out my life and let me leave or you’ll be number free of ponies I had to knock out today” Lyle threatened the Pegasus “Never! And even if you do somehow beat me, Rainbow Dash! Then Twilight and the others as well as the Princess will be here shortly” said Dash refusing to back off. “You’re bluffing “Friend”! But if that’s the way you wanna play it, then fine! Who am I to disappoint?” said Lyle, who charged at once. One thing Lyle did not anticipate was the fact that Rainbow Dash was the fastest flier in Equestria, which caught him off guard at first, which had him knocked backwards, but thankfully like with Spike, Rainbow Dash made mistakes that allowed Lyle to grab her by the tail and swing her into a nearby tree making short work of his enemy. “Cheap shot…urgh” muttered Dash “It’s only cheap because you’re losing” said Lyle before muttering, “knew that Karate course would come handy one day” “I’m not done with you yet” said Dash, getting back up as Lyle turned away. “Do I have to slap a mare?” asked Lyle “What?” asked Dash, who was confused. “Uh, never mind then” muttered Lyle “Found you!” said a familiar voice from behind Rainbow Dash. Twilight Sparkle had arrived along with four others consisting of: A white Unicorn, a Pink Earth Pony, a Orange earth pony and a rather shy looking Pegasus, and they were all ready for a fight. “Oh, you again and you brought friends, great!” said Lyle, who was getting quite sick of this. “Even if you knock me out through a wall, I don’t give up easily, especially if you hurt Spike!” said Twilight angrily. “He would not get out of my way when I gave him every chance, if he didn’t know what he was getting himself into, then he shouldn’t pick fights with “Aliens” such as me” Lyle shot back at Twilight. “That excuses NOTHING! You hurt Spike! I’ll make you pay!” said Twilight, whose eyes turned red and her mane and tail was literally burning! “Easy there Rapid Dash!” said Dash getting in front of Twilight “Get out of my way Rainbow Dash!” Twilight ordered Rainbow Dash. "No, he is mine!" Dash said, ready to charge the human again. "That's quite enough" a heavenly voice said out of nowhere. Suddenly, a white flash occurred between the two and a White pony with both Wings and a horn appeared. She was larger than the other ponies and Lyle could tell she was the leader as the ponies bowed down and Twilight reverted back to her normal state, the ponies all bowed down to her except Twilight, but Lyle did not move so much as a centimeter. “Princess Celestia!” said Twilight, who bowed down to her princess. “My faithful student, this is the Alien you speak of?” asked Celestia, looking at Lyle with a smile. “Yes” Twilight nodded as Celestia turned towards Lyle. "I'll handle this" Celestia said simply "But-" Twilight started but the Princess interrupted her. “Allow me to introduce myself to you, I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria and the Princess of the Sun” Celestia introduced herself to Lyle. “Uh, I’m Lyle” said Lyle, who was very confused of this turn of events. “Princess, this Alien has been causing trouble for all of us” said Dash pointing her hoof at Lyle. “I’m not surprised Rainbow Dash, anypony would tend to resort to violence out of fear and misunderstanding even under the best of intentions from both parties” said Celestia wisely. “But-“ Twilight started before Celestia interrupted her “Our visitor was chained and naturally scared for his life in a place he’s never been before Twilight, this applies to even the most powerful and calm ponies alive today. I do not think the Alien intentionally caused harm to you, Spike and Miss Dash, it was more of a misunderstanding although your method of dealing with this is not the most wisest of ways.” said Celestia with such wisdom. “So y’all mean to tell us, that the little varmit was just scared?” asked Applejack. "Little?" asked Lyle under his breath “Indeed, I’m sure Miss Fluttershy would think the same if one of her animals were threatened would she not” Celestia said with a casual glance towards Fluttershy’s direction. Fluttershy did give a nod, showing she agreed, Celestia turned away from her and to Twilight but Lyle was not in the mood for forgiving. “If you think I’m forgiving Twilight, then you can forget it, Princess” said Lyle flatly, who was giving an angry look towards Twilight's direction. “I do not expect you to forgive Miss Sparkle at once Lyle, but I do ask you remove any hostility you have against anypony” said Celestia before adding wisely, “Time is the best healer Lyle, do not wallow in grudges for too long, for they may very well lead you down a very dark path” “Fine, I’ll humor you Princess, but like I said, I’m not getting all comfy with Twilight or featherbrain over there” said Lyle causing Dash to get annoyed. “HEY!” yelled Dash angrily. Silence came between everypony for a good minute and a half, until Celestia spoke up once more. “Now then, what are we going to do with you?” muttered Celestia “Take him away would be nice, Princess” said Dash, who clearly wanted the Human far away as possible. “I know, Lyle, I would like you to live here in Ponyville, under Miss Sparkle’s care and learn the meaning of friendship” said Celestia, deciding on a solution that both Lyle and Twilight did not agree on. “WHAT?!” yelled the pair of them “And I shall expect the pair of you to play nice, or I shall intervene myself” added Celestia “But, he knocked me out Princess! He can’t be trusted” protested Twilight “She chained me up Celestia, You really think she’ll be cozy with me in her madhouse?!” Lyle also protested “Indeed I do, a good friendship can form, even from the worst of enemies” said Celestia smiling at the pair. “You’re mad!” Lyle said in an accusing tone “I am not mad and if you tried being friendly toward each other, then I’m sure you’ll be good friends. But for now, I must return to Canterlot, farewell my little ponies” Celestia said, but before disappearing she added "Oh and Lyle, if you do hurt Twilight or any of my subjects intentionally then you will answer to me" before disappearing in the same white light she arrived in. Lyle was honest to god confused, he was an alien but for some reason, their princess didn’t seem to mind his presence here or the fact he was fighting her subjects to get free. Twilight on the other hand, was completely unhappy about the prospect of the Human and herself living together and she still held quite a grudge against Lyle. “Well, this is awkward” said Lyle after a while. Without warning, Pinkie Pie zoomed straight up to Lyle with a smile, she seemed to have forgiven Lyle instantly and started introducing herself, “HiimPinkiePieandimsosuperduperexcitedtofinallymeetyou!” Pinkie said this all in one breath much to the amazement of Lyle. “Oooookay then, I’m Lyle” said Lyle “I’m Rarity, charmed to meet you” said Rarity” “Ah’m Applejack, best Apples this side of Canterlot” Applejack introduced herself and tipped her hat. “I’m Fluttershy” said Fluttershy inaudibly “I’m sorry, what?” asked Lyle “My name is Fluttershy” said Fluttershy a little louder but not loud enough for Lyle to hear. “I did not hear one word you said” said Lyle “Her name is Fluttershy” Rarity supplied for Lyle. “Ohhh…I see why she’s named that.” said Lyle, who noticed the Pegasus’ shyness. Before anyone could tell what the Rainbow maned Pegasus’ name was, she flew off, only leaving a rainbow trail behind her. “I think you may of hurt her pride a little too much in your fight there, Lyle” said Rarity casually “Who was she?” asked Lyle “That’s Rainbow Dash” said Fluttershy, who became more confident. "She had too much of an ego" muttered Lyle. Now that they introduced each other, it was about time for them go home and and rest as the day was almost up. "All right, you!" Twilight motioned to Lyle, "Since you're staying with me, you stay out of trouble and out of my way! You clear on that?" "Crystal, but if you so much as try to tie me up or anything like what happened, no Princess alive will protect you from what I will do to you" Lyle let a snarl out before following Twilight. Both parties were tired but they did not lower their guard towards each other as they made their way to the library, they weren't friends but at least they weren't at each others throats for the time being.
Chapter 3: This means War!Both Lyle and Twilight did not say a word to each other the previous night, other than telling Lyle where he was sleeping; no words were exchanged at all. Spike also disliked the newest resident to Ponyville ~~(What did you expect? He did get thrown into a wall by the tail!)~~. In reality, they were the only two besides Rainbow Dash who had a huge dislike for the Human. The very next day, Lyle wanted to get out of the library ASAP and Lyle was out the door after a bit of salad, muttering under his breath about there somehow not being meat in the house. One thing Lyle did not account for was the trouble he stirred the previous day, ponies were looking at him oddly as though he had just dressed in a tutu and started dancing like a complete moron. “What are you all looking at? Haven’t you seen a Human before?” Lyle asked the crowd No one answered, except that one smartflank pony that said, “No” “Okay then” Lyle paused for a minute, “TWILIGHT!! CAN YOU EXPLAIN ME TO YOUR KIND?! I’LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!!” “I’M READING AN IMPORTANT BOOK!” yelled Twilight “IF YOU DON’T THEN I’LL THEM ABOUT THE “Incident” THING I FOUND IN YOUR BOOK!” Lyle yelled back. "FINE! I'M COMING DOWN!" Twilight yelled, leaving her spot. "Works every time" Lyle muttered to himself. Twilight came out to what was now a crowd, she looked from Lyle to the crowd and started talking, “Well everypony, Lyle here is a Human and he means no physical harm, just treat him like everypony else” Twilight paused before adding to Lyle, “Happy?” “Eeyup!” said Lyle, imitating the southern accent Applejack had. A Mare with a grey mane came forward in front of the crowd and spoke up, “As Mayor, I would like welcome you, Lyle to our fair town and hope you enjoy your stay here” "That was quick" Lyle muttered to himself again, but surprised how quickly they all accepted this. Lyle couldn’t help but smile at the name of the mayor, it was stupid but then again, from what Lyle knows, it may just be normal in this land. Also Lyle couldn't help but notice that the ponies were certainly trusting, thankfully on a few ponies remained to look as Twilight rounded on Lyle. “Okay, how did you know about the “incident”?” asked Twilight in an angry tone. “I didn’t” said Lyle simply “You mean you-?” Twilight started before Lyle interrupted her. “Did that just get you out there? Guilty as charged my purple companion, and as we look at the scoreboard it’s Lyle: 2, Twilight: 0, in other words: you wanna get your shit together if you wanna win” said Lyle smugly. “Don’t you mean 1 point to you?” asked Twilight “That’s one for now and one for the K.O yesterday” Lyle explained his victories. “Are you quite done?! Because this mean war! And I WILL WIN this war, no matter the headstart you get, Lyle!” Twilight said angrily “Try all you want, I’m gonna see what our dear friends are up to, except Miss Ego Dash because quite frankly she’s a sore loser just like a certain Unicorn I know” Lyle said as he walked away. Lyle walked away in victory while Twilight was left with her hair flaming, she vowed to win this secret war and win it she will! … 10 Minutes later… Lyle came across a unique looking building called the Carousel Boutique, which Lyle casually entered was not surprised at all to see Rarity sewing things together mainly due to the fact that this looked like her thing and the fact he marked her as one of those drama-queens. “Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique and magnifique” said Rarity, who make the last three word’s endings sound the same. “Hi Rarity” Lyle just waved at her. “What can I do for you today, Lyle was it?” asked Rarity in a professional tone. “Well just looking around really” said Lyle, shrugging his shoulders. “If you need something to look good then I’m your mare! I’ll simply have you shining like a diamond in no time!” Rarity said as though she couldn’t wait to do such a thing. “Well, I’m more of a casual wear kind of guy” said Lyle as-matter-of-factly. “Hmm…we can’t have you walking around Ponyville in those “rags”, we need to get you some new clothes and I shan’t take no for an answer!” Rarity said looking at Lyle’s clothes with disgust. Now that Lyle looked at himself, he did look like he ran through a meat grinder, just without the blood and stuff. His shirt was torn in places as well as his jeans, his clothes were also dirty everywhere which probably happened during the fight to escape and how he got here too! But Lyle did not have a damned bit on him and was going to express that right now, “Rarity, I don’t have a god-damn bit on me and this twenty dollar note is worth nothing here unless some magical exchange rate was set-up here as I got here” “Not to worry Lyle, I cannot let a crime against such terrible fashion go uncorrected! And I’ve been just simply dying to make some human clothes since you got here, that’s payment enough” said Rarity waving her hoof. “Are you sure?” asked Lyle “Dear Lyle, I am not called the Element of Generosity for nothing” Rarity replied simply. “Fine, if you insist” Lyle agreed to let this one go. “Wonderful! Shall we get started?” asked Rarity in excitement Lyle could only relate to a little foal waiting to open his Hearth's Warming presents. For about a good hour, Lyle suffered from Rarity measuring everything about Lyle until she had enough details to make him some clothes. Finally Lyle was able to leave and he hoped these clothes would be alright. … Twilight Sparkle was in her library, not surprising, no? She still has not forgived Lyle for that whole incident yesterday and already they were going towards the path of hating each other. What she needed was Rainbow Dash, she was the only pony who disliked Lyle besides herself and Spike so she set out to find her so she could get the advantage before Lyle strikes again. For now, Twilight will bide her time as she may... ... Lyle was casually walking along the path earning a few stares due to his appearance but he wished they would stop, it made him quite nervous and a bit annoyed, and things did not help when some Aqua colored pony grabbed his hand all of a sudden. “OH MY GOSH! HANDS! THEY ACTUALLY EXIST!!” the pony yelled, further examining Lyle’s hands much to his discomfort “Hey! Let me go!” Lyle growled, but this fell upon deaf ears. “These hands actually exist, and these humans exist after all! I KNEW IT! Celestia be damned I KNEW IT!” the pony continued “You have 5 seconds to let me go!” Lyle threatened the pony, hoping she would listen but another pony came by. “Lyra, what are you doing?” asked another Pony who just came. “Bon-Bon! They’re real! The Humans!” Lyra exclaimed pointing out Lyle. “I doubt it, must be wearing a good costume” Bon-Bon said looking at Lyle. “I’m the real deal” said Lyle casually. “So you actually are Human?” asked Bon-Bon “Last time I checked” Lyle replied making a pose. “Oh dear sweet Celestia! I-It’s true, Humans are real!” Bon-Bon said as though hell has frozen over or something. Lyle was confused at all the fuss and asked, “I don’t get it, what’s the big deal?” “Well, back in our foalhood, Lyra read a legend about mythical creatures called Humans, long story short, she basically got obsessed over it so many times we almost put her in a mental institution. Oh no…I just realized we all owe Lyra 5 bits” Bon-Bon explained as Lyra grinned evilly. Lyle felt that sensation just then, that feeling when many beings just lost a bit of money at the same time towards one person or rather, Pony. In other words: Lyra is about to be one rich pony! …. That Night… Lyle had finished exploring and safe to say it had been a weird day, so he retired to the just relaxing on the bed. Twilight However, had other plans on dragging the Human with her to a club. “LYLE!” Twilight yelled “What?” an irritated Lyle replied. “I’m going with the girls to the club and you’re coming with us!” said Twilight, in a this-isn't-negotiable kind of way. “Nah, I’ll just chill here” Lyle said lazily on the bed. “You will come out or I’ll kick you out!” Twilight threatened Lyle. “Fiiiiiinnneeee!” Lyle groaned as he got out of bed, ‘Why do I get the feeling this isn’t gonna end well at all!’ ... "So tell me, why am I being dragged all the way to this club for?" Lyle asked his purple companion "I don't know about your world, but we tend to go out with friends somewhere and that's what we're doing" said Twilight simply "Yeah but they're more like YOUR friends than mine" Lyle replied truthfully "Well if you want to fulfill Princess Celestia's wishes of learning friendship, being friends with my friends is the best opportunity for you and you should count yourself lucky that she was nice to you" Twilight said simply "Pfft, like I care about your stupid Princess anyways, all I care about is getting back home as soon as possible and knowing my parents, they are searching with a whole lot of worry on their shoulders" Lyle said what he wanted. "Well then, you'd better get in her good books as she may be the only one and possibly her sister as well that can get you home to your world" said Twilight Lyle sighed, "I'll humor you...for now, but I still ain't getting comfy with you and featherbrain" The club came into sight as Twilight spoke, "Just try to act somewhat appropriately while we're in there" Moments later, the pair of them found their “friends” waiting outside including one Rainbow Dash whom Lyle did not look at. The Club itself reminded Lyle of a club back on Earth, it was less techy than the ones on Earth but it still had a modern charm to it. There were ponies busting their moves on the dance floors, while others were just sitting and chatting with their friends. Lyle and “friends” got themselves a booth and ordered Hay Fries and a Hayburger but since Lyle didn’t like that kind of stuff, he just got an Apple Cider. “So Applejack, how goes the farm?” asked Rarity casually. “It’s pretty darn good right now, Rarity” Applejack replied “That’s good to hear” Rarity smiled. “Oooh what about you Lyle?” asked Pinkie. “Well let’s see, was having a nice life until I got put here and tried to escape, Twilight sets Ego Dash and friends on me, your annoying Princess forces me to try get comfy with you six, got forced to accept Generosity from Rarity, and got my hand raped by Lyra Heartstrings who is obsessed about our race and now I’m here talking to you, Happy?” Lyle summed up his adventures so far, and he wasn't very proud of those adventures. “Sounds like fun” Rarity commented. 'I need a drink' Lyle thought to himself “Pfft Please, I do not have a big Ego” Rainbow Dash added “Bullshit” Lyle muttered under his breath as he drank all the cider he had. “Wait Lyle! DON’T DRINK IT ALL AT ONCE YOU’LL-“ Twilight tried to warn Lyle, but it was too late, Lyle had downed the whole Cider. “Uh oh…” Twilight muttered to herself as she knew what would happen sooner or later. "This drink...I like it! FETCH ME ANOTHER!" Lyle declared his love for the cider. "Lyle, Apple Cider can get you drunk and you just drunk a full bottle" Twilight warned Lyle but it fell on deaf ears. Lyle walked to the bar and bumped into a pony as he did so and stared at him angrily. "Hey watch where you're going you hairless ape!" the Pony said angrily. "The fuck did you just call me? *HIC*" Lyle asked the pony. "A Hairless ape, now go away scum" the pony repeated himself "Oh you're *HIC* going down, *HIC* fucker!" Lyle said throwing a punch at the pony As soon as the fight began, a crowd came around watching man against pony fighting it out... … 2 fight-tastic minutes later... “Don’t come back here until you stop picking fights” The owner, Berry Punch yelled as she chucked Lyle out. “Yeah well, I’ll build my own club! With blackjack and hookers! You know what? Forget the club!” Lyle shouted at the closed door before walking off. Moments later, Twilight came out of the club to give Lyle a piece of her mind and boy was she not happy at all, and she possessed that look only a mother looking at a child who broke something valuable could possess. “LYLE!!!” Twilight yelled “What do you want?” Lyle asked not looking at Twilight. “You know perfectly well what! Acting like immature little foal when we take you out! How dare you! Princess Celestia could of easily done something much worse and this is how you repay her?!” Twilight started yelling “What that little prick *HIC* deserved it! He called me a *HIC* hairless ape!” Lyle shot back. “That’s not the Point!” Twilight roared “Yeah? And does this face look like it gives a fuck about the point?” Lyle asked snidely. “It better, or else!” Twilight threatened. “Or else what *HIC* nerdy?” Lyle responded. “That’s it! I’m dragging you back to library!” Twilight said who clearly had enough. “I like to see you try” said Lyle sneered, walking the other direction A Purple aura surrounded Lyle and lifted him up and Lyle started struggling to get out. “Put me down! PUT ME DOWN!!” Lyle yelled as he was getting carried back “No, you are being immature and until you learn to act somewhat civilized, you aren’t going out to any clubs!” Twilight said calmly as possible. ... About a few moments after the argument, Lyle was in his room and locked in until tomorrow morning with Twilight just outside the door while Lyle was yelling to be let out. “HEY LET ME OUT NOW!!” Lyle yelled at the top of his lungs. Twilight merely responded, “No, not until tomorrow morning and by the way that’s one point to Twilight Sparkle” “WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I WILL MURDER YOU SO BADLY *HIC* THAT NO PRINCESS WILL EVER FIND YOUR DEAD BODY!!” Lyle shouted his threats loudly as possible. What Lyle didn’t know is that Twilight placed a sound-proof spell on the room as Twilight went to bed winning a battle, the war on the other hand is yet to be won. (Scoreboard: Lyle: 2 Twilight: 1) Author's Note Chapter 3 is up! Personally I wanted Lyle and Twilight to kind of be enemies and have a war against each other that isn't the violent kind.
Chapter 4: No Meat? NOOOOOOO!It was morning once again in Ponyville and once again, Lyle woke up in the hopes that this was all just a bad dream and that he’d wake in the apartment but no, fate was not done with him, not by a long shot! He saw that the door was open and headed down to breakfast to a rather satisfied looking Twilight and a half-awake Spike. “Good morning Lyle” Twilight said brightly. “What’s made you so happy?” Lyle asked sourly “Is being happy illegal?” Twilight asked rhetorically. “Yes, it is very illegal to be happy” Lyle replied sarcastically. Twilight said no more on the subject, as breakfast was some salad with haysticks, the latter of which Lyle did not like at all. “Don’t we have any meat? All this vegetable stuff is killing me” Lyle complained Twilight suddenly got a dark look and a bit of a shock, “You eat meat?” “Course I bloody do, I’ve been craving meat every since I got here but I can’t seem to find any” Lyle replied “Y-You’re carnivore?” asked Twilight slowly. “Well Omnivore, which means we get eat veggies and meat but I would rather eat meat!” said Lyle, falling in a semi-daydream about meat. Twilight processed this and asked, “You don’t eat Ponies do you?” “Hell no! Humans and Horses have been best friends forever naturally! We don’t eat our best friends but only really desperate people would want to eat horses or ponies, that or they be very sadistic. Same goes to Dogs, they’ve been two of man’s best friends as far as anyone can remember, oh how I miss my little puppy” Lyle explained. “I see, you have a dog? What are they like in your world?” Twilight asked with great interest “Dogs are real loyal to their owners unless neglect and abuse have been inflicted upon them, only a real fucking cruel person would do such a thing! They’ve been dubbed many times as “Man’s best friend”, they can be a huge source of comfort and they can also be highly trained to do things like keeping security around places or even just for show, it also helps that Humans can’t outrun dogs, so you don't wanna mess with them.” Lyle explained once more “Applejack does have a dog named Winona, there are a different kind of dogs that are quite dumb but dangerous called Diamond Dogs, nasty creatures they can be as they can kidnap ponies and force them to be slave workers but they can be outwitted.” Twilight explained a rather smelly bunch of creatures she wouldn’t go near with a 200 foot pole. Lyle couldn’t help but notice Twilight was being much more polite towards himself but maybe that was all an act or something, who knows? “See this isn’t so bad isn’t it” Twilight said, practically reading Lyle’s mind. “Maybe not, but back to the original question, where’s the meat at?” Lyle asked. “Well you see…Equestria doesn’t really eat…meat” Twilight said slowly “What?” Lyle said dangerously. “Uh oh” Twilight muttered and she and Spike entered a makeshift bunker out of nowhere. 3… 2…. 1…. “WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN THERE’S NO MEAT?!” The whole treehouse launched in the air for a brief second before landing again in response to Lyle's outburst. “You mean to tell me, there is NO meat at all? Nothing? Zilch? Zero? Not even a steak or a sausage anywhere on this damn rock?!” Lyle asked not believing what he was hearing “Not one drop” Twilight said simply “But there has to be one drop on this planet I can eat” Lyle said rationally. “The only place you can eat meat nearby is in Griffonia, but that’s way too far away to the north and they don’t take kindly to strangers and not to mention they are quite warlike and start fights easily” Twilight mentioned this fact, cutting all Lyle’s hopes of meat. “B-But, I’LL GO CRAZY! I NEEEEED MEAAAT! I will not succumb to only salads for the rest of my existence on this planet!” Lyle protested, refusing to believe the truth. “You can live without it” said Twilight “But you don’t understand Twilight, meat isn’t just any old food, it’s the food every human needs, it’s like well I dunno, Ponies without hay?” Lyle replied sharply Twilight gave a moment’s thought about what it would be like without hay, suffice to say that it would not be a pleasant one. Lyle, before Twilight could do anything else, went outside muttering something about ripping his insides out. … 20 minutes later… Lyle was outside, bored out of his mind so much so that he had went through a ten minute boredom montage involving: smashing his head on a wall, trying to impersonate Pinkie’s bouncing thing she does and even talking to the ponies around Ponyville, who seemed to have conveniently accepted him. This bothered him a little bit and he seemed a bit suspicious due to the fact it was simply too good to be true. Lyle missed his entertainment so much, there were video games, TV, Movies, computer, friends and maybe the occasional amusement park. But here he was in Magical Ponyland that is literally flooding of happiness and friendship, he got so bored of this that he accessed his inner “Assassin” and climbed the whole town hall building with his bare hands and was on top of the roof admiring the view. "So much Bullshit! No meat, I'd rather die than go vegetarian!" Lyle complained under his breath. “Watcha doing?” a familiar Cyan Pegasus asked from above “Oh it’s you, what do you want?” Lyle lazily replied “Couldn’t help but notice you being up here without wings that’s all” Dash said landing next to Lyle “Hands, best things ever, accept no substitutes! They can do so much wonders compared to those hoofs of yours, which quite honestly, I wonder how you even grab things with them” Lyle explained how he got up here. “I dunno, it just seems second nature that I never about it like that, especially when you have these babies” Dash said flapping her wings fondly. Lyle had a mental image suddenly, he had sprouted wings and was flying all over town with ease and quite a few people looked jealous. “I wouldn’t mind flying, it’d save a damn lot of time getting places back in my world plus it would kinda kill the boredom” Lyle mentioned half-heartily. “What’s your world like?” asked Dash curiously. “Um well…put it this way, there are many ways to describe my planet, some places it’s harsh and cruel but in others it’s paradise with the occasional guy going through hell in it, there is many ways to describe it like I said, it really depends on the person's experience, as for me, it has it’s ups and downs and all that stuff but home is home and there is no place like home” Lyle said and suddenly got a mad idea, ‘maybe if I click my heels and say there’s no place like home, I’ll be back in the apartment in no time’ Before either parties could continue the conversation, Applejack came running down the street and started calling to Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, Lyle, Ah need yer help pronto!” Applejack called out. “What’s wrong?” Lyle asked curiously “The Crusaders went into the Everfree Forest, they haven't come out and they’ve been gone a while now” Applejack explained “Wait a moment, the Everfree Forest?” asked Lyle “Yep” Dash confirmed “The one that everypony pretty much should stay the hell away from?” Lyle asked again “That’s the one” Dash confirmed “Well that’s fan-fucking-tastic! So these kids decided to walk into a forbidden forest, yep this is gonna end well” Lyle said with a hint of sarcasm “Well you’re helping us find them” said Dash “WHAT? No! I am not finding those fillies, it’s their fault they’re stupid enough to walk into a dangerous forest that’s conveniently next to the way-too-peaceful town!” Lyle protested but Rainbow Dash was hearing none of it. “You’ll go or I’ll drop you from this building” Dash threatened “You wouldn’t” Lyle put a big try-me face on. Within a second, Rainbow Dash had lifted Lyle off the building and he was hanging at such a height that is he fell, he would surely break every bone in his body. “HEY! HEY! LET ME DOWN!” Lyle screamed. “Not until you agree to help find the crusaders” Dash said “NO!” Lyle said “I can’t hold you much longer, you’ll have to say yes or get very hurt” Dash said deliberately loosening her grip a tad. “Alright! Alright! I’ll search for the brats! Just don’t drop me!” Lyle said, desperately clinging on. “Good, that wasn’t so hard now was it?” Dash said, smirking maliciously. "Your death will be slow and very painful!" Lyle muttered furiously. … A couple of Minutes later saw Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Lyle entering the Everfree Forest. Suffice to say, Lyle was angry about this, while AJ and Dash were worried about the fillies. “Okay, so what’s the plan? Scream on the top of our lungs? Run around in circles? Or go find a monster lair or something?” Lyle asked. “Well, the Everfree is dangerous at night and it’s getting close to night as we speak, so we need to split up and find the fillies fast as we can” Dash explained “Those kids are gone done it this time” AJ muttered “And if one of us finds them?” asked Lyle “We meet back here in an hour and if they are not back then we get the others” said Dash “Well, let’s get to it then” AJ said, rushing into the forest ‘Great, finding fillies in a dangerous forest, this day can’t possibly get any worse! And I realize I just fucked myself!’ Lyle thought, letting out a sigh as he walked in. The Everfree Forest was a dark forest, very little light breached the canopy of the forest at all, distinct sound could be heard from all directions creeping Lyle out a little bit. What made it more creepier is there was a slight fog and the trees seemed to like evil. Stories were often told about this place, some say it has other-worldly features hidden in it, some say this forest caused Nightmare Moon to be born and even some say there might be a connection to a strange place somewhere in it. Although, what ponies do know is that the very nature of this place is not guided by Ponies at all, it all happens on it’s own! This reminded Lyle of home a little bit as he wondered about how his family and friends were reacting to his disappearance. After 30 minutes of wandering, Lyle was getting bored of this search when he heard 3 young voices nearby… “Scootaloo, Ah thought yer said this was the way out?” a southern accent rang out. “Well, it did look like the way out didn’t it?” Scootaloo argued with her friend. “Well, we didn’t even get our Explorer Cutie Marks or anything” a squeaky voice said, clearly disappointed. ‘What on hell is a cutie mark?’ Lyle thought before calling out to the trio, “HEY! Crusaders!” “Huh? Who’s that?” Scootaloo asked seeing Lyle. “I will not harm you, your friends: Rainbow Dash and Applejack sent me to help find you” Lyle said, who could tell monster may be on their minds right now. “I know you! You’re that hoo-man thingy Rarity told me about” said the Unicorn filly. “First of all, It’s human, second of all, My name is Lyle” Lyle rolled his eyes at the Unicorn filly. “I’m Sweetie Belle” the Unicorn said. “Ah’m Applebloom” said the Southern accented filly. “And I’m Scootaloo” said the brave looking Pegasus “And together we are…THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS! YAY!!” The fillies shouted loud making Lyle’s ears hurt. ‘I needed those ears you know’ Lyle thought angrily when a sound came from behind. Lyle and the Crusaders turned around to see a chicken thing rising out of a bush, the crusaders screamed and run like hell the other way. “Wait! What’s wrong?” Lyle called to the fillies. “Cockatrice!” yelled Scootaloo “Relax it’s just a random chicken with a lizard tail, I’m sure that’s nothing to worry- Wait…why are my legs all stony?” Lyle asked as the Cockatrice’s eyes glowed red, “AHHHHHHH! I'M TURNED INTO STONE! SOMEONE, HELP ME! AHHHHHHHH--!” Lyle screamed as his whole body turned to stone. Lyle was now fully sealed in stone and could not move an inch, nor could he be aware of that fact as his mind went full blank white on him, a look of shock was present on Lyle's stony face. The Cutie Mark Crusaders ran to get help, leaving Lyle to his stony fate, for now. Author's Note Chapter 4 is up! I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 5: Lyle the Stoner!Lyle had just woken up to find something odd, he was back in his apartment, lying on his bed quite comfortably. A clear blue sky was above Lyle as well as a very bright sun giving it’s light. Lyle lay confused, was it all a dream? Was he dreaming that he met a purple nerdy Unicorn in a magical land named Equestria? No Cyan Pegasus with a huge Ego? No honest farmer? The kind but shy Pegasus was just imagination? No Party-crazy pony that would pull a surprise party out of nowhere and was quite random beyond belief? Not a fashion-obsessed drama queen at all? It was one weird dream though, it seemed quite real and honestly would make a decent TV show out of it or something. But Lyle just went outside when the strangest thing had happened: The whole place was suddenly white. This made no sense at all, the sky disappeared and the place was all white and dull, this wasn’t the Earth and it sure as hell wasn’t Equestria, then where was he? “Hello! Anybody? Guy stuck in random white space that could use some help?” Lyle called out, to his annoyance nobody came, “ANYONE!! I KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE!! Urgh this is pointless” Lyle sighed, kicking thin air. … Twilight Sparkle had heard the screams if three fillies running to her door and banging on it, Twilight had wondered what the Crusaders have done this time as she opened the door. “TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT! THE HUMAN HE-“ The Crusaders yelled at the same time. “Okay, slow down! One at a time, deep breathes.” Twilight advised the trio. “Well we got lost in the Everfree Forest-“ Scootaloo started “Then this tall Hoo-man thingy found us and said Rainbow Dash and Applejack were looking for us and he was helping them find us” Sweetie Belle interrupted “And then the Cockatrice came outta nowhere” Applebloom added” “Cockatrice? Then what happened? Did it chase you here?” asked Twilight “It…turned the Hoo-man to stone and we kinda ran to get you” Scootaloo explained reluctantly. “Lyle! Thank you for telling me this, I need to go get the girls, you three need to head back to your houses at once until this is over” Twilight ordered the fillies. “Aw, why can’t we join?” Sweetie Belle complained. “It’s too dangerous” Twilight said as she rushed out the door The Crusaders were left behind as Twilight left to gather the girls and find their missing human. … ‘I have wandered here for hours I think, where am I?’ Lyle thought as he caught his breath from all the running. It was true, Lyle had wandered the white place for a long time seemingly, but nothing came up except white, that’s all this place seemed to be filled of: White, white and more white. However, something was finally sighted in the distance, a strange checkerboard ground was starting to appear and random pink clouds were also present. There was a throne and a strange creature with different kind of limbs seemed to be occupying it, before Lyle could get a word out, the creature turned around. “Why hello there Lyle” the creature greeted Lyle. “How do you know my name?” Lyle asked instinctively “When you are a god of Chaos, you tend to know a lot of things that even Celestia herself wouldn’t know” the creature replied as though it were common knowledge “So you know my name, but what is yours and what are you?” asked Lyle “I am Discord and I am a Draconequus thank you very much” said Discord, who seemed to be a tad bothered by Lyle's ignorance. “Okay, next question, where are we?” Lyle asked his next question “In stone” Discord replied simply, when Lyle looked confused he started to explain, “This white area we’re in is basically a zone that can only be accessed by those trapped in stone such as myself and of course, you as well. Now luckily, we can imagine certain objects and they’ll appear, oh and I wouldn’t bother imagining a way out as you can only be freed from an outside source.” “Damn it!" Lyle cursed before continuing, "Well that sucks, guess I’ll have to wait for those Crusaders to get the others and get me out of here, assuming they're coming” Lyle kicked the air in frustration Lyle looked around and imagined himself a chair and sat down, it was actually quite comfortable but still, this place was boring already! “So how did you end up here Discord?” Lyle asked out of the blue (or white in this case) “Oh, I did bad things and Twilight and her little friends sealed me in stone with their magical Elements of Harmony necklaces” Discord said simply “I see, what bad things did you do?” asked Lyle “Well, let’s just say I flipped houses, made soap ground, and even shortened the day and night cycle, while quite fun it turns out ponies don’t have that view, well except for Pinkie Pie who loves my chocolate rain I make” Discord said so casually, it made Lyle think he’d done it forever. “Sounds like fun, maybe except the whole screwing with Day and Night cycle thing but hey, at least you don’t have to pay for overpriced Chocolate milk” Lyle joked, laughing at his own wit. “It is fun but ponies just don’t see the humor, they’re so BORING! I would rather read every book in Twilight Sparkle's library then try to humor them. “Meh, I’m sure it can’t be that bad! This stone thing however is kinda boring” Lyle said reasonably “1000 years is a very long time to be stuck in stone and then when you finally get out, boom you’re stuck here again, it drives me quite insane hahahaha!” said Discord, giving a slight look of insanity while Lyle sort of looked concerned. … “So what’s the emergency this time Twilight?” asked Pinkie “Is it Lyle again? If he attacked you again, I will show that ruffian a thing or two” Rarity asked looking a bit tough while she spoke. “Lyle hasn’t done anything, more like what happened to him” said Twilight in a cryptic manner. “Well what y’all waiting for? Spit it out!” An impatient Applejack said. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders have been found by Lyle but he got turned to stone by a Cockatrice” Twilight explained “Serves him right” Rainbow Dash muttered under her breath “That’s enough Rainbow Dash, I know full well some of us may not like him, myself included, but nopony should remain in stone unless for good reason such as Discord himself” Twilight replied to Dash’s muttering … “ACHOO!!” Discord sneezed “Bless you” Lyle said kindly. “Sorry about that, I just had that strange feeling when somepony talks about you” Discord said while blowing his nose. “it’s okay” Lyle just shrugged “Wanna watch a movie?” Discord offered “Wait…we can watch movies here?” Lyle asked curiously “With my power we can with just a snap of a finger” Discord said, snapping his fingers to make a living room like setting “FUCK YEAH! I’M IN!!!” Lyle yelled excitedly …. Twilight and friends had been at it in the Everfree Forest for quite a while now, no sign of Lyle’s stone from could be seen anywhere, nightfall was coming down as the last lights of Celestia’s sun were disappearing into the horizon and is being replaced by Luna’s moon. Being in the Everfree Forest is highly dangerous as the monsters are more often and more powerful during the night, thankfully though, Lyle’s statue was coming into plain sight now. It won’t be long before Lyle is free, just a good half an hour should do… …. Lyle and Discord had finished watching a Harry Potter marathon (time does go a bit differently inside of stone), the pair had got up and stretched. “Oh my lord, that was a long ass marathon” Lyle said stretching his legs “Yep, the part where Hermione punches Malfoy in the face will always have a special place in my heart, always hated that guy” Discord replied “Oh he wasn’t that bad, sure he was a dick but he’s kind of that guy you love to hate in a good way” Lyle said reasonably "Whatever" Discord said "And what about the last movie?" Lyle asks Discord, "I loved that movie but they made Harry break the Elder wand, I always hated how they did that! “Perhaps…” Discord tried to continue their discussion, but something happened. Suddenly, Lyle started to disappear, bit by bit at a rapid pace and Discord knew he was about to be free, whereas Lyle did not as he started noticing parts of his body disappearing. “What’s happening?” Lyle asked in a panic “You’re being freed Lyle” Discord explained “What about you? I don’t want to leave you here!” Lyle asked “Oh Don’t worry about me, and besides we can still talk through telepathy thanks to my chaotic powers” Discord said simply. “One last thing quickly, is this all a Dream or in my head? Or was all of this real?” asked Lyle. Discord then responded, “Of course it’s in your head dear boy, but why on earth should it not be real” “Did you just quote Dumbledore? WE ARE SO BEST FRIEN-!” Lyle said, amazed before disappearing Discord looked at the spot where Lyle was before before muttering, "I'm so lonely" … Lyle’s vision was stony, his senses came back one by one as he felt quite stiff and a bad taste came to his tounge and he could see cracks forming until finally it burst open and Lyle was able to move again. “LYLE IS BACK BABY!!!” Lyle announced quite loudly giving a stretch of his muscles “Thank goodness you’re alright” Rarity said from behind. “Thanks I suppose, it’s bloody insane in there!” Lyle said catching a couple of breaths. Silence came for just a moment before Twilight started talking. “Oh, that counts as a point by the way” Twilight said casually to Lyle with a smile on her face. “We’re even but not for very long as the kid gloves will come off” Lyle replied to his rival. “Think what you will” Twilight responded calmly. "I don't think, I know" Lyle replied smoothly. "Smart-flank" Twilight muttered. Lyle shrugged and looked around, “Where is that Rainbow-maned Pegasus? I need to tie her wings up and drop her at terminal velocity from very high up” "I don't know, she was here a minute ago" Pinkie spoke, looking around for her friend. Little did Lyle know that a certain Pegasus was edging further away from Lyle as he spoke… Author's Note Chapter 5 is up! I will be Honest, this chapter felt a bit slow but I wanted to feel a bit cruel to those unlucky enough to be put in stone instead of some instant fast-forward to where they are freed. I admit it could of gone better but the next one will be better! Discord sort of comes a pen-pal basically and he loses a bit of his charm while in stone.
Chapter 6: Home Ticket Denied!Meanwhile in Canterlot Castle, Princess Celestia had scientists working on a way to send the human back home, Celestia herself was quite interested in how Lyle even got here, from what Twilight gathered from Lyle, it had been a Magical storm that had sent him here. To Celestia, it seemed too much of a random chance to her at first, she had feared the Human had bad intentions but when she saw him for herself, he was quite rude and grumpy but a good heart none-the-less. Celestia was sitting on her throne at this time, an act that Celestia became very accustomed to it over a VERY long career as a Princess. Suddenly, a pony guard galloped right in through the doors and rushed to Celestia and bowed down to the princess he served. “Rise my little pony, speak” Celestia ordered in a calm voice “News from the scientists you ordered to find a way back to “Earth”, er...your highness” the pony spoke at once “What news?” asked Celestia “They have found a way back, but the bad news is that the way will close in 1 hour” the same pony reported. “Bring me the scientists this instant! There is no time to lose!” Celestia ordered the pony guard and in an instant he ran out. … Around 50 minutes later... Lyle and “Friends” had finally gotten out of the Everfree Forest, Rainbow Dash was nowhere near the angry Lyle as they made their way back to the library under the cover of the night. “Alright, here’s the deal, this incident never happened! It shall never be spoken of again and any attempts will be met with lack of existence if you get my drift, got that?” Lyle said sternly to the others. “Yes Lyle” the others said. “Goodie, now then, I’d like to get some sleep now.” Lyle said, making for the treehouse. Suddenly a very bright light flashed in front of Lyle revealing Princess Celestia and another dark blue Alicorn who seemed to resemble the night, Lyle assumed this was Celestia’s sister that Twilight mentioned before, Lyle believed her name is Luna or something like that. “Sup Princess?” Lyle greeted in a non-caring fashion “You ought to show the Princess a little more respect” Twilight reprimanded “Twilight, Care factor at zero” Lyle muttered to her. “If I may have your attention” Celestia cleared her throat as she continued, “We have some good news and some bad news” “This ought to be good” Lyle muttered again earning a look from Twilight “Good news is that we can send Lyle home-“ Luna starts “YES!!!!” Lyle yelled in victory! “…the bad news is that the portal can only remain possible for 5 minutes and will not be able to open for another 300 moons” Luna continued as though there were no interruption ~~(For those wondering how long that would take really, Looking around it's 2.5 years aprox for 30 moons to pass, a moon is about 27.3 days for those who want to be exact, which people have added to about 819 days or around 2.3- 2.5 years around, times that by ten and you got 8190 days for 300 moons and that be equal to around 22 years. give or take a few months each way, if you really wanna know, try doing the math yourself and comment your answer! TL:DR That's a long FREAKING time to wait for the next portal opening)~~ “Well, whaddya waiting for? Beam me up Scotty!” Lyle said, earning a few weird looks, “What? It’s a classic line from back home! Ah forget it! Just make the stupid portal thingy” “Do you not want to say good-bye?” Luna asked “Quite frankly no, I don’t really want to be attached at all, as far as I’m concerned, this never happened! And I can make a good cover-up story for my disappearance” Lyle said impatiently “If you insist, but you may regret it” Celestia said, slightly shocked at Lyle. “Oh alright, one quick good-bye and that’s it while you’re doing the portal thingy” Lyle gave in. Celestia and Luna put their horns together and charged their horns with magical power to make their portal, which should take a minute… “So yeah, good-bye and all, not a huge pleasure being here but it could be worse” Lyle said awkwardly Pinkie was crying a little bit and lamented, “I never got to give you a Welcome party or a good-bye party!” “If it makes you fell better, I’ll probably raid the fridge of meat when I get back” Lyle said sarcastically. “Ewwww” Fluttershy muttered “Anyway goodbyes” Lyle started before turning to each pony, ”Twilight, thanks for chaining me up you jerk, and next time an species comes along, don’t chain it up or it’ll want to kill you. Pinkie, are you sure you don’t have a drug stash? Fluttershy, er…well we never really talked but well yeah…have fun with those animals. Ego Dash, stop having such an inflated ego, I’m sure people from my world would bring you down faster than you claim to be” Lyle took a quick breath before continuing, “Applejack, honest question for you, why is it for ponies that bucking is pretty much a swear word for ponies when it’s also hitting a tree with your hind legs? And lastly Rarity, thanks for the clothes and all and it’s pronounced Egregious by the way!” Lyle had finished his one-minute good-bye when Celestia and Luna finished making the portal. “This is it” Celestia said as the portal appeared in front “Best go in quick, you only have 30 seconds” said Luna “Well see ya around or not, I will forget you! So long losers who I’ve always hated!” Lyle said as he started running to the portal. With speed that would put Usain Bolt to shame, Lyle ran straight in and dived into the portal with a blinding flash. … YOU DIDN’T THINK IT’D BE THAT EASY DID YOU?! … Lyle had hit a rock very hard in the face dazing him for a while, surprisingly he did not get a concussion at all but at least he was back in his world, quite personally, Lyle could not take another minute of those ponies anyway. “Lyle!” Twilight’s voice rang out from behind. “Wow, I must be imagining Twilight’s annoying voice already” Lyle said out loud to himself. “Lyle!” Twilight's voice took offense “you’re back here in Equestria” Celestia’s voice joined in. Lyle started to notice the world still looked cartoony, a bad sign as he turned around and saw the ponies he could of sworn he left behind. “No….” Lyle said in absolute horror, “No…No, No! NONONONONONONONONONONO! No fucking way! You’re all not real! Must be the portal playing tricks or something” Lyle started freaking out more. Rainbow Dash went up to Lyle and slapped him with her hoof, “Stop being an idiot Lyle, you’re still here!” Realization hit Lyle, it was fact that Lyle had not moved a single inch closer to Earth, “Girls, I need to be alone for a while…” “Uh oh…” Twilight muttered seeing red build up in Lyle’s face “He’s gonna blow!” Pinkie yelled diving behind a bunker like cover as everypony else did the same. 3… 2… 1… FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Chapter 7: Where do I go from here?Lyle had watched plenty of movies and played a good amount of games, some with the tragic “You can’t go home” effect added in, they never seemed to go into this too much but now that it had happened to him, it was really more painful than they do show you! The feeling of being denied the chance to go home forever is quite depressing, sure it’s technically 300 moons but to Lyle, it may as well be forever, HE. DID. NOT. BELONG. HERE! So for the past few days after that, Lyle was quite depressed, something of which he though he’d never be and for that matter, so did everypony that knew him, so much that he actually shedded tears, not openly but Twilight and Applejack did spot it but said nothing. …. “Okay it’s been three days and he’s still depressed!” A voice rang out, belonging to Twilight Sparkle. “Well, it must be completely heartbreaking to be denied like that” Rarity responded reasonably. “But he should of calmed down by now” Twilight replied back in annoyance “Um…if I say something…if that’s ok with you…” Fluttershy starts. “What’s up?” Dash asks “Well, we should see thing from his point of view, wouldn’t you be upset if you suddenly couldn’t come home for a very long time?” Fluttershy asked her friends There was a murmur of agreement but Applejack spoke first “Ah still reckon he oughta calmed himself down by now” “Maybe…” Twilight muttered to herself. “Oh come on! He needs to quit being a pansy and grow a pair! He was practically banging the rock hoping for a portal to appear a couple of days ago” Rainbow Dash blurted out. … 2 days ago… “Alright Rock, I know you still have that portal and I’M GONNA MAKE YOU GIVE IT TO ME! CHHHHAAAAAAARRRRRRGGEEEE!!!” Lyle screamed as he charged at the rock Lyle hit the rock as hard as he could with his fists but to no avail but pain did come. “COME OUT! (WHAM!) YOU STUPID (WHAM!) PORTAL!! (WHACK!)” Lyle yelled as he pounded the rock Lyle puffed and he finally grown tired and walked back to the library but before he did he put a threatening look the rock. “I’ll be Back!” … “And that’s not the worst part” Rainbow continued “So what are we going to do about it?” Rarity asked the gang. “A SUPER-DUPER PARTY!!! Like a Sorry-you-didn’t-make-it-home party!” Pinkie said excitedly “Pinkie…” Everypony else started “I’ll go get the Party Cannon!” Pinkie said, rushing in a pink blur. “(Sigh) Why do we even bother sometimes?” Twilight asked herself …. Lyle was out at the same bar area they dined previously; he had been in that bar for three days in a row now. He had met the bar’s owner named Berry Punch who seemed to take a liking to the human. Yesterday, he bumped into Vinyl Scratch, a DJ that goes by the name of DJ-PON3 on the stage and a mare who was more into classical music called Octavia who Lyle was reminded of an old friend who liked classical music. So Lyle was in the same spot he was always in, drinking some cider. A thought occurred to him on how his mother and sister must be feeling, a week he has been gone. There was no apparent way to get back and assure them he was okay, Lyle was full of guilty feelings, he should of just jumped into the portal instead of giving these ponies precious time! But Lyle also swore on everything that he had heard a demonic voice when he jumped in, almost as though it were denying him his ticket home. He Missed his family…A LOT! "Lyle, you really gotta stop drinking so much man" Berry Punch, the owner told him. "I'm fine, and besides it helps me" said Lyle. "Not too much though, and besides you're more depressed than a Pegasus losing their wings in an accident" Berry pointed out "I guess...I just miss my family more than I thought I ever would before I came to this cartoony Hellhole" Lyle said as his thoughts reflected to them. Lyle had no idea exactly how his family and friends were going but he guessed not good, any hopes of the internet were gone as all of Lyle's technology was not with him when he teleported. Then again, no one the other side knew what was happening here and they wouldn't believe it anyway... … Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, Planet Earth “Still haven’t found Lyle?” a young teenage girl spoke out. “No they haven’t, they’ve looked everywhere in the city and they haven’t found him yet” a older female voice spoke out. The two humans conversing were none other than Lyle’s mother and Younger sister, it took them a whole day to realize that Lyle had just vanished into thin air, no sign of a struggle in his apartment at all, although there was a scorch mark but nothing more. The Police were called and started the search at once and so did Lyle’s few friends who also noticed him missing, it was most unlike Lyle to disappear willingly as he loved sticking to this city but there was no sign of kidnapping. Over the course of a week, messages and everything were sent to Lyle’s phone and facebook and everything. Lyle's little sister decided to check Lyle's wall again in false hopes he had messaged something. 6 Days ago… Thomas Anderson Dude, where are you? Your parents are worried sick and all, and so are we. You didn’t show up to work at all and you haven’t been in your apartment or anywhere when we checked. Is everything ok? Sarah Alexander Lyle, your mother said you’ve been missing for a while, please let us know you’re safe! Sydney isn’t as safe as people say it is, did something happen? My door will be open… 5 Days ago… Edward “Speedy Gonzales” Jackson Lyle my man, everyone be saying you disappeared. I don’t want to be believe but I ain’t heard nothing from you, did you flip shit out on your parents? You know you can stay with me if that’s the case, I’m always open and all that but can you let us know you’re safe? Everybody is worried about you man, even that asshole Chris is worried about you man! 3 days ago… Bella Cowan Sweetie, I’m worried! Everybody around been saying you disappeared without a trace, I tried calling you phone and I got nothing and I tried searching everywhere you might go for you and I can’t find you! Was it something I did? If I did, I’m sorry alright? Just come back to us please! If your mother freaks out any more, I’m afraid she’ll get a heart attack in worry. Donna Dawson Lyle, this is your younger sister, Donna. Mum is really stressed out and it’s only been four days, she fears for your safety and I do too as your younger sister, I know Mum is trying to be strong but she’s be crying herself to death for the past three nights! And I can’t stand it anymore! COME BACK THIS INSTANT!! 2 days ago… Lyn Dawson Lyle, Son…where are you? I came to your apartment to discover you’ve been missing, I tried all of your friends and co-workers but they haven’t seen you, is everything alright? If you’ve been hurt or worse, I don’t think I can bear the thought it may be because of our argument. I just want my son back! Safe and sound! We love you so much Lyle, no matter what happens, remember that. Yesterday… Daniel Dawson Lyle, I know we haven’t really talked since the divorce and I know you’re mad about that but that gives you no excuse to just disappear on us! I came home from work to discover your sister telling me that you’ve gone missing! I may be a bad father in your eyes, but I don’t want my only son to be any danger! Please contact one of us and end the worry! I’ll look for you myself if I have to! Remember, your mother and I love you very much, no matter what happens. Today… Bella Cowan Lylie sweetie, it’s been a week! How could you still be gone? I MISS YOU!!! I felt it, that feeling as though you may not be coming back for a while, it worries me! I don’t want that to be true! I love you, always have and always will! I’ve been worried out of my mind, all of us have, your mother is in a right state, we all have you in our thoughts in prayers. Thomas Anderson Ok, seriously! This game is not funny anymore! You win the stupid game! NOW COME BACK HOME!! Did I do something wrong? We’ll make amends and go back to the way things were meant to be! JUST SHOW YOUR DAMN FACE AND STOP FUCKING HIDING!!!!! 5 minutes ago… Sarah Alexander Lyle, if you are playing a very cruel trick on us, it’s not funny anymore! Tom is really pissed, he thinks you’ve been hiding somewhere because of something. If you’re mad at him, I understand but can you please let us know you’re safe. You're our friend Lyle! Bella hasn't cried so much tears since her mother died and i think anymore and she will snap just like Tom has. Now… Edward “Speedy Gonzales” Jackson Dude, dick move! Tom’s in a bloody rage that you won’t show up, he almost got himself in serious trouble, your mother’s depressed beyond belief and you’ve appeared everywhere on TV and the local papers asking if they’ve seen you. Why? I want to know why you’ve disappeared and why aren’t you coming back? Your sister was practically praying to god for you to return and she’s an atheist at that too! COME BACK! Please? To Lyle's family and Friends, it just wasn't the same... Who knows what Lyle is up to or if he even is alive anymore... … Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle… The Two Royal sisters were arguing in the throne room, what about? Celestia's plan to reform the spirit of Disharmony and Chaos itself, DISCORD! “Sister, you cannot be serious!” Luna said in disgust to his sister “I’m serious Luna, I believe Discord can be reformed and the Elements of Harmony are the key to that” Celestia stated her plan clear as day. “But Discord almost won last time he was set free” Luna argued “Even he can see the error of his ways, we will not argue this any longer, tomorrow we will reform Discord” Celestia said as though it were final “Fine! But if the world ends up in chaos because of this silly reforming business than you’re on your own getting it back” “Lulu…” Celestia started but Luna was already out of the door It’s time… Author's Note Okay, so i hope you like that Facebook part where everyone is concerned. I Seldom see any Human activity wondering where our protagonist has gone so i decided to do so myself! I'll leave you to deduce what has happened fully in the Human world.
Chapter 8: ReformedLyle and “Friends” were all outside Ponyville waiting for Princess Celestia who had sent a letter in advance telling them all to be waiting for her. “So why are we here?” Lyle asked first. “Because the Princess told us to” Twilight answered “Ok more specific, why am I here? I have nothing to do with your stupid affairs anyway” Lyle asked again “Because it’s high time you did something useful for a change other than drinking cider until you’re drunk enough to start charging at the rock so it could make a portal” Twilight replied indignantly “Well excuse me for having my home ticket denied and the next bus to it is FUCKING FOREVER!! Lyle shot back with venom in Twilight’s direction “You could at LEAST BE GRATEFUL WE HELPED YOU MAKE IT EASIER!” Twilight raised her own voice as well “BULLSHIT!! YOU ONLY HELPED ME BECAUSE YOUR STUPID PRINCESS ORDERED YOU TO! YOU HAD NO INTENTION WHATSOEVER OF KEEPING ME HERE! YOU WERE GONNA KNOCK ME OUT FOR YOUR RESEARCH OR KILL ME! SO DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME!” Lyle shouted all he could muster at Twilight “THAT STUPID PRINCESS SO HAPPENS TO BE MY MENTOR YOU…YOU DICK!! SO QUITE FRANKLY, YOU CAN SHOW A LITTLE BIT OF RESPECT TO OUR PRINCESS OR LEAVE EQUESTRIA!! Twilight yelled back. “I WOULD BUT IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, I CAN’T BECAUSE SOMETHING PREVENTED ME FROM DOING SO!! AND I AM DOOMED TO SUFFER YOU PONIES AND YOUR STUPID FRIENDSHIP BULLSHIT!!” Lyle went even higher! Unknown to everypony else, Celestia had arrived with a statue of Discord himself and was quite shocked to hear an argument and went to intervene. “ENOUGH!!!” Celestia used to Royal Canterlot voice “Princess Celestia!” Everypony but Lyle said in surprise and bowed “And the leader of the bullshit returns” Lyle muttered “What is this arguing all about?” Celestia asked the pair of them “Nothing” Both Lyle and Twilight said at the same time. “Is this going to interrupt what I’m about to task you all?” Celestia asked. “No” the both of them replied. “Okay, so why is Discord’s statue here?” Rainbow Dash asked. “well, I believe you six are the only ones that can do this task and that is to show Discord the magic of friendship, I believe if he sees the magic of it, he may see the error of his ways” Celestia pointed her hoof to Discord’s statue “Princess…not to sound rude or anything, BUT ARE YOU FREAKING OUTTA YOUR SMALL MIND?!” Lyle bursted out. “Ah Agree with Lyle on this one” Applejack added “And what’s worse is that he could very spell disaster” Twilight chiped in as well. “I know it’s a little crazy, but I have faith in you six ponies, you have proven your abilities” Celestia reasoned. “Well this is gonna end well” Lyle muttered under his breath “You may free Discord when ready” Celestia said as the guards with her struggled to put the statue down “Well let’s do this before lunch time” Lyle said as the sun was starting to hit around 10 o’clock from the looks “You won’t be helping them Lyle” Celestia turned to Lyle suddenly “Say what now?” Lyle looked confused “You and I are going to have a chat as well as Luna” Celestia explained simply. “What about?” Lyle asked suspiciously “You’ll see once we’re at Canterlot Castle” replied Celestia. The others were Silent as Celestia ordered Lyle to hold on to her as she took Lyle in a white flash and the pair of them disappeared. Deciding to start their task, the Mane Six got to work on reforming Discord. … (FLASH!!) Lyle and Celestia landed in a room within Canterlot Castle, the best way to describe it was it had quite stoney like walls, but still gad a new glamour about it. Red carpet was lined neatly throughout the middle of the room as well as red cushiony chairs (pony chairs of course). On the other hand, the manner of entering had gotten Lyle by surprise as he experience as spinning and suffocating experience in an almost instantaneous teleportation. “Urgh…” Lyle started as suddenly he felt the need to throw up and dived for the nearest pot plant, “BLAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!” “Oh dear, I should probably of warned you about the sensation, forgive me” Celestia commented as Lyle throwed his breakfast up. Lyle was finally done with that little incident, he was shown to a chair by Celestia who sat down. The doors opened and none other than Princess Luna trotted in and made for a chair next to Celestia. “Ah yes, I believe I never did introduce you to my dear sister, Princess Luna did I?” Celestia waved a hoof to the Princess of the Night “No, pleasure is all yours Princess” Lyle replied in a deadpan wau. “An Honor to meet the resident Human at last” Luna said happily Luna was exactly as her name and title suggested, her coat was a Midnight Blue colour and her mane and tail were waving much like Celestia’s but it showed the Night Sky. Luna looked much younger than Celestia did but still taller than the average pony and falling a head short of her sister. “So what’s this chat about? Surely you didn’t bring me here to introduce me to your sister” Lyle said after a brief moment of silence. “No, I did not, it’s about you Lyle” Celestia responded “About me?” Lyle looked to both Princesses “Yes, I think it’s best I get straight to the point, the whole incident of being denied home has worried ponies, most especially Twilight and her friends” Celestia indeed went straight to the point “Oh? They do have a problem with me now?” Lyle went defensive “That is not what I said, we are concerned for your behavior. From what Twilight tells me, you’ve been drinking yourself to death and you’ve shed tears and this must stop or else something rash will happen” Celestia remained calm in saying her point “What? Can’t a guy get depressed in peace?” Lyle asked “It’s bad for you Lyle, and also this whole “Hate” you and Twilight have is completely without reason” Luna added “But-“ Lyle started. “Luna is correct, you’ve been rather angry and that’s understandable but you’ve been like this since you got here and I think we deserve to know why” said Celestia “Fine…we’ll start from the beginning” Lyle sighed as he adjusted himself … Back in Ponyville, Fluttershy was attempting to reform Discord with chaotic results but in the end, she managed to get a dinner party at her cottage and invited the rest of the bearers over. Of course, skepticalness was shared around all the ponies, most especially Twilight and Rainbow Dash. But if they play their cards right, Discord may just become a friend rather than a foe. Of course, Discord wasn’t going to make it that easy… … “And then I threw a bone at him, true story” Lyle finished “But you said you’d explain why you’re being angry” Luna said in a confused tone “Sorry, that’s been happening a lot, now then where was I?” Lyle apologized A Small pause took place and Lyle began to explain… “Well, before I came here to Equestria by that stupid Lightning storm, shit had really hit the fan. I did have friends back there and no doubt they’d be looking for me now or think I’m dead sooner or later." Lyle started explaining Celestia and Luna had been paying attention so far, so Lyle continued... "Now, I kinda had a special someone back there called Bella, a nice girl who I had a nice relationship of ten months until three weeks ago, I caught her cheating!” Lyle explained more “Why would somepony do that? That’s rather unethical isn’t it?” Luna asked “You two clearly have no idea how Earth works, it’s not sunshine and rainbows with some random Alicorn pony making sure everything is fine. Sometimes people like a girl for the…you know…bom chicka wow wow!” Lyle replied “What on Faust are those noises you’re making?” Celestia asked curiously. “Oh fine! Basically the Sex!” Lyle got agitated by their ignorance. “Ohhhhhh” Both Princess finally understood what Lyle meant. “So anyway, I came home and I found my girlfriend having the you know…69 on MY bed! So naturally I was really pissed and shouted them out, I was given a lot of excuses from her over the next few days but I ignored her and broke up with her.” Lyle continued “So what else happened?” Luna asked with interest “So naturally I stopped talking to her before and then one week later it got worse, My dad divorced my mum, I always hated my father but that just angered me. And a few days after that and before I got here, I got fired from my dream job, the dream job I spent years trying to get was over because some financial BULLSHIT!! Well that's the main things in a nutshell” Lyle explained further. “That’s…” Luna couldn’t find the words to say “Worst luck ever right now, and I would describe to full effect but you get the gist, and then of course I got here, and I sorta just went “HELL NO!” and got out of there. And I guess the fact I got denied home went harder on me then I thought” Lyle went on. “It seems bad luck has cursed you over the last month and it’s only natural of what happened, but I must ask this, do you really dislike Twilight because of her irrational behavior at the time or just the result of these events?” Luna asked Lyle with a serious look. Lyle thought hard about his behavior and he realized where he was going wrong with this. “Well I guess it must be everything just hitting the fan, it’s just so stressful and it’s like everybody just expects me to drop all my ties to my friends and family and live happily ever after. It just doesn’t happen instantly, maybe over time I would but…I’ve been such a jerk to Twilight!” Lyle realized the error of his ways. “Not to sound rude but it is true…” Luna said trailing off at the look her sister gave her “I took it all out on Twilight I suppose…I should at least apologize to her, but we are not going to be pals instantly okay?” Lyle decided his next course of action A Emerald green flame appeared in the form of a letter, it said that Discord had been successfully reformed. “Well, it looks like they completed their task” Celestia announced “Well that’s good” Lyle said “I feel I should apologize too Tia, I doubted their ability and therefore doubted you, I apologize” Luna apologized to her sister “You need not apologize Luna, it’s only natural to think what you did” Celestia replied and turned to Lyle, “Well, I believe we must go get Discord and make it official” Celestia said … 20 minutes earlier… “NOT. YOUR. FRIEND!” an angry Fluttershy said to Discord, she walked in the other direction on an Ice rink Discord made on Sweet Apple Acres. “Who cares? I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I'm Discord, the master of chaos! You think you can boss Discord around? You think I'm just going to turn all this back because you say so? Because if I don't, I'll lose the one friend I ever had?” Discord went on arrogantly until it suddenly hit him, he was just about to lose the only one he ever cared about and the guilt came from his actions as he looked to Fluttershy trotting in the other direction to the empty ice skates he offered her. “Well played Fluttershy, well played” With that, Discord sat on a tree feeling down as he turned everything back to the way it was, it was then Discord learned the importance of friendship. Present… (FLASH!) “BLAAAARRGGHHH! Urgh…Teleportation…never again!” Lyle muttered after a teleportation back to Ponyville. “Discord, are you ready to use your magic for good and not evil?” Celestia asked the Draconequus “Yes Princess, I am ready to use my chaotic magic for good not evil” Discord said robotically and added under his breath nastily, “Most of the time” “Say it” Fluttershy said next to Discord with an encouraging smile “Fine, Friendship is Magic!” Discord groaned “So, that’s that I suppose” Rarity said “Not quite” Celestia said before turning to Lyle and adding, “Lyle has something to say” “Wha-“ Twilight started before Lyle went forward. Lyle slightly crouched down to eye level with Twilight and was ready to make amends. “Listen Twilight, I know this past week has been really bad and the events before I came here were all taken out on you and your friends and that was really uncalled for as I realize this now. Anyway, what I’m saying is that, I’m sorry for all the things I did, I'm not expecting to come pals, but at least maybe forgiveness” Lyle spoke his apology as sincere as he could. Twilight pondered for a moment before saying, “Of course I’ll accept your apology Lyle, this staying mad at each other thing is really tiring. So what do you say? Start over as friends?” Twilight responded “Okay then, the slate is clean and it’s a fresh start” Lyle said Suddenly Pinkie Pie sped into the pair getting them into a tight hug. “I’m sooooooo happy right now! You two made up and everypony is the bestest friends with each other!” Pinkie said over-excitedly. “Pinkie…can’t…breathe!” Both Lyle and Twilight said while stuck in the hug but Pinkie let go Pinkie then came to sudden realization, she had not given Lyle a welcome party in the week he’s been there! IMPOSSIBRU!!! “GAAAASSSSP! We need to give Lyle a party NOW! Twilight’s library, 5 minutes, I’ll get the party cannon!” Pinkie gasped loudly as she sped off the do her thing “Umm…what just happened?” Lyle asked, giving off a shrug. “It’s Pinkie Pie darling, that’s all you need to know” Rarity answered. “Come on you guys, all this reforming has made me starving.” Twilight said, beginning to make her way back to the library. Everypony else went except for Lyle, Discord and Celestia. “Thanks for helping me realize all this Princess” Lyle spoke after 30 seconds of silence “Not a problem, It’s good to see you are all on good terms with each other” said Celestia “So, you coming to the party while you’re here?” asked Lyle “I’m afraid not, I’ve much to do in a short time and I’ve got to do some arrangements for Discord, we’ll see each other soon and in more high spirits I hope.” Celestia declined the party invite and turned to Discord, “Shall we head back to the castle?” “I suppose so” Discord said in a bored tone The pair of them disappeared in a flash back to Canterlot, the sun was getting lower and it was time to experience Pinkie Pie’s famous parties that he hears so much about… Author's Note Okay, Okay I'm releasing this stupid chapter. it's been what two or three months since the last one came up. But to be honest, This story may end soon as I got another HIE I like a lot better! I promise to finish what I started!
