A Man in Equestria

by Happy Soul

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Adventure
Length: 3370

I'm Charlie Hazel, your average mature man. I dislike that show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, but I guess I don't really mind it, and these so-called "bronies" freak me out. What is coming next will sound absurd in e

I’m Charlie Hazel, your average grown man walking down the street on a warm summer morning.
I don't like My Little Pony: Friendship is magic, nor bronies. I guess they scare me a tiny bit.
Anyways, I'm happy, good job, a girlfriend… I could honestly say I wish it was like this forever.

Until my life changes from normal to… sorta freaky, happy, surprising? I can't decide on the right word. Anyways, I miss the old life, like, a lot. I need to know if there is an honest way to get out of here without me turning into a monster or something.

In other words, get me out of this crazy universe filled with pastel-coloured ponies.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-29 10:02:09 UTC

Prologue

A Man in Equestria

Prologue

I’m Charlie Hazel, your average grown man walking down the street on a warm summer morning. I don't like My Little Pony: Friendship is magic, nor bronies. I guess they scare me a tiny bit. Anyways, I'm happy, good job, a girlfriend... I could honestly say I wish it was like this forever, but I know all good things don't last. Not just good things either.

My hair is a brownish colour, a trait from my dad, and my eyes are glass green, a trait from my mum. When it's not a rainy day or a work day, I'll go out with my girlfriend, Holly, and I'll wear my old red shirt and some blueish jeans.

So, I'm roughly twenty-one and a half years of age, average height, average intelligence, all that stuff you'd expect in a man as average as me. So, getting a little off topic here. Let's just get to the story. Here we go...

This has been one of those not-so-good days. I guess I just don't feel too well today. After a long day of work, I unlock and open the door. I yell up the stairs, "Sugar, I'm home!" then take off my boots and coat. I walk over to the tiny computer room and nudge the door open with my hand. Sitting on the comfy office chair, I hold my hands to the top of my head and twirl around on the chair for a bit. Then I turn the computer on.

I stretch my back out on the computer chair. Logging into my deviantART account, nasty messages pop up on my page. What have I done this time...

All of them have one thing in common. They are all talking about this new My Little Pony show, and how I dislike it. All I did was state my opinion and I get nasty hate messages thrown at me? The internet is a dangerous place for people who don't like this or that.

And the new show is talking about loving and tolerating, and here these overreacting bronies seem to be doing the exact opposite. I don't mind bronies, it's just this kind of brony that freak me out. I dismiss them all and block those irritating users. Scrolling and clicking with my mouse, I notice one comment that makes me laugh out loud. Not just giggle, but bellow and howl and screech in laughter. I feel much better.

i hope that if u get trnsportd to equstria celstia kills u!!!

This has made my day, I reply.

A message instantly pops up on my message centre. wut??

I love this website. It's the best. I stretch out on my computer chair once again, then I log out. I surf the web for a bit, clicking on whatever I find. Then I see something even funnier than the last funny thing I saw.

MAN CLAIMS TO HAVE BEEN IN MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC'S EQUESTRIA

I click on it instantly. There is a picture of a man's head. He's smiling, and he looks sorta crazy. I guess that's the man who claims to be transported to pony land then.

I scroll down and look at the comments.

This is a hoax!

Not true bro!

Maybe he's telling the truth??

My eyes widen and I giggle.

"Who's stupid enough to believe that?" I think out loud.

I start going into it more and I begin reading the article. None of it seems possible to me, and I'm not surprised. Apparently he has "met the ponies" and has "seen it all now". He hasn't seen it all now. I've seen it all now. I keep on reading; it is a rather long article. I have nothing better to do anyways.

After that, I switch the oldish computer off. I glance around me for no reason whatsoever. Then, I get off of my chair and walk to the door. I glance back at the computer before walking away. Maybe that man isn't crazy... no. He is crazy. But it might be true... it's not, get your act together Charlie! It can't be true!

Okay, so I walk around for a bit and eat a cookie out of the cupboard. I sit on the sofa, then my girlfriend joins me. I press the on button on the television remote and we begin watching a science documentary. It's about how alternate universes could exist and how people have claimed to be transported to them! Won't god just leave me alone for hell's sake?

First the comment (plus death threat), then the crazy article, now this documentary? Argh! I can't switch the program to another; Holly is enjoying it and I don't have the kind of heart to stop her.

I bury my face in my hands and block out all the noise around me. I need some time to think.

"Hun? You alright?" Holly asks, gently nudging my arm.

No reply from me Holly, I've blocked out the world.

"Charlie? What has gotten into you?" she demands, shaking me.

I snap out of my trance and say, "Oh, it's nothing. I guess I should go for a walk."

"Okay Hun, be back before dark so I don't worry myself." she says in a pleading manner..

"Sure." I reply.

I get my coat and shoes on, then begin walking. I walk down a long road with busy and take a left into a quiet, empty park. It is autumn anyways. Leaves fall of of trees, birds tweet and I smile. All is good.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain shoot through me, then I see something bright blind me for a brief moment.

Then black.

I open my eyes. Realizing I'm not at the park, I jump up to my feet. I look around me.

Surely not... I'm dreaming!

But as I pinch myself I realize I'm not dreaming, but I have a sense of impending doom.

Yes, this is Equestria... and I'm officially dead.

Chapter 1 - My Arrival

A Man in Equestria

Chapter 1 - My Arrival

Great. I guess those people were right then! Well, except from the death threat (which I'll report to the deviantART staff when I get back) but I'm scared of something. Something that could be true, something that I hadn't thought of before.

What if those creepy bronies can see me? Just watch me here on the show? Oh god, no.

Oh yeah, my girlfriend is probably gonna dump me when I get back (if I get back). OH GOD, NO!

This is the worst day of my life...

I glance at the world around me. I'm on a cave on a mountain next to a small town inhabited by colourful horses. Good start. I know where I am, at least. What is that town called again? Is it Horsedale? Fillyshire?

Oh yeah, I remember now.

Ponyville.

Above Ponyville is clouds scattered around for miles. I see farmland and a large oak tree which seems to have windows in it. Who lives in a tree? Oh yeah, the pretty princess. Apparently she's really smart. I should go see her.

But then the ponies will see me. What do I do?

"Oh god," I cry out. "OH GOD! I'M TRAPPED HERE FOREVER!"

I'm lucky that nobo-pony heard me. I sigh and bury my face in my hands.

"This is a disaster," I murmur.

I look at myself. I think I'm in tact but I look a bit... cartoonish. Maybe I can sleep in this cave when the night comes?

I look in the cave and see golden glimmers. Squinting, I nudge a tiny bit closer towards the glimmering lights, still crouching down. Is that... treasure? Then I take notice of a giant green lizard that is buried in the gold and various bits of jewelry. Is that a dragon? It has spines along its back and gigantic wings which I guess are about fifty metres long when they are stretched out. Luckily, it's sleeping. But I cannot resist the jewels and treasure because of my own greed, so I tiptoe over to them.

I reach out for them when I hear a feminine voice yell "Charge!" and I see the giant dragon waking up, yawning, then sitting on its haunches, a threatening look on its face. I want to run away but then the ponies will see me, so I bury myself in the treasure just in time. I let out a sigh of utter relief, but I'm not completely safe. The dragon could eat me or I could be exposed to the ponies, hopefully neither. A purple unicorn with purple eyes and wings (which I believe is called an alicorn or a pegacorn) with a blue mane and tail with streaks of magenta and purple, and a cutie mark of a magenta star with white stars surrounding it approaches the dragon.

My head pokes out of the gold as I gaze in wonder at the pony. As she approaches towards me I bury my face in the riches. I can hear the snorting and growling of the fire-breathing dragon, along with the yelling of the small pony. I listen to my once steady heartbeat as adrenaline builds up inside me. I can feel the coldness of the gold on my body and all I can see is pure treasure, creating shining lights that blind me.

"I thought we god rid of you!" cries the pegacorn at the top of her voice.

"Huh? I've never seen you before." says a rather goofy voice.

Dragons can talk!?

"Oh, yes..." she replies, blushing. I don't even know how they can blush through their fur.

"The one we got rid of was red. But you're still going to have to move out!" with this, the pony's face turns serious again and her horn glows magenta. The coin glows the same colour and lifts itself up. I look up as it floats across the room towards the purple pony, then flings itself out of the cave, loose from its magical grip.

I can only look in awe as the dragon cries out and runs out of the cave at top speed. It flaps its wings, chasing after the coin off of the mountain. It flies off, grabs the coin in its claws and flies up to the cave. Outside of the cave are five more ponies of all colours, gazing at the dragon as it storms into the cave and looks down at the purple pony. It snorts viciously.

"You... dare!"

"I dare." the pony regrets this soon after as she gets blasted with a jet of red-hot fire.

I feel sorry for her as one of her friends fly up to her. A pegasus with a rainbow-streaked mane, sky blue fur, magenta eyes and a rainbow lightning bolt coming out of a cloud on her flank. I think that's the one that's called Rainbow Streak... no, that's not right. Oh yeah, Rainbow Dash.

"You okay?" she sounds a bit like a boy.

The purple pony (I do not know her name yet) puts her hoof up to her burnt mane, sighing.

Rainbow Dash shoots a death glare at the dragon, and I must say it is rather frightening. I see the dragon growl. The rainbow pony flies up to the dragon's nose, lands on it, and stares into the dragon's eyes until it shivers. The purple pony watches her friend.

Still standing on the dragon's nose, the pony turns her back on it, raises her back hooves and kicks it right between the eyes. The dragon lets out a shrill cry of pain, shaking the rainbow pony off. She regains her flight and darts back to her friend, a solemn and stoic look on her face.

Then a pegasus with cyan eyes, a butter coloured coat and long pink hair, along with three butterflies bathing on her flank, appears from the mouth of the cave. I know I don't like MLP, but I can't help but go "Daww" on the inside when I see her. I feel a bit scared for the pony as I watch her walk up to the dragon. She looks it full in the eyes.

"And just what do you think you're doing!?"

My face perks up and the dragon looks at her in a mix of confusion and fear.

"I'm going to use..." she says angrily. "The stare!"

I look at her in confusion as she flies up to the dragon and stares it full in the face. Beads of sweat collect on the scaly lizard's face as it stares back at the butter-coloured pony.

"Okay, I'll go!" cries the dragon, flying away as quickly as possible.

"Job done." says the butterfly pony.

All the ponies, including the ones still outside, walk away and down the mountain. I hear their chatting fade off as they get closer to the ground. I take a deep breath and push all the air out of my lungs. I shake the golden treasure off of my body as I get up and stretch out my body. I look out of the cave; the ponies are gone. I stare at the beautiful sunset. It is shades of red and orange and yellow and I can smell the fresh air all around me.

"I guess I'll stay here for the night, then," I say, "At least it's a half-decent shelter."

This night is the worst of my entire life. I lay on the freezing gold, shivering. I miss my world, my house, my girlfriend, my life. I eventually drift off into the land of dreams.

Chapter 2 - Of Dreams and Nightmares

A Man in Equestria

Chapter 2 - Of Dreams and Nightmares

I look around in confusion. There is no sky, there is no ground, there is no sea. There are just stars dotted around on a cyan blue background in the middle of nowhere. As far as I'm concerned I'm in another world.  As I stand there motionless, I think about where I could be in this strange world, and why. I start walking around. I see a fairly large star, a fairly small star. Stars of all shapes and sizes. I reach out to touch one floating nearby-

Bam! I hit the ground hard. It is dark and I am in my house. I see my girlfriend. She is frantic; she opens the door, and standing outside her door are two big police officers. I look in confusion (as I am standing right next to her). I call out for her. I wave my hands in front of her, calling "Holly! Holly! Hello? Anyone home?" then I try touching her shoulder. My hand flies right through unharmed.

"What the?"

Then the truth strikes me. I am a ghost. I bury my face in my hands, crying until my eyes go dry.

The world suddenly changes from my house to Equestria. I am in the tiny town next to the mountains; it is nighttime. Ponies of all shapes, sizes and colours stare at me in confusion. I sink to the ground, crying. I don't care. A pony offers to help me, and she moves closer. I kick her in the face, shrinking down in fear. The ponies are frantic, then I see white stallions with wings and golden armour. They advance towards me, locking me in chains before I can object.

Then the moon glows, and a dark face appears. A tall, dark pegacorn advances towards me, getting rid of the ponies with pure magic. I see the ponies flash and dissapear, leaving only her and me. She unshackles my chains. She is navy blue, with blue eyes and a starry blue flowing mane. She wears a necklace bearing a crescent moon, a crown brearing a crescent moon and light blue shimmering shoes. I do not see what is on her flank.

"My, my, I have never seen such a creature! What is the name of your species, and your full personal name?" she says, gently raising a hoof.

"O-our sp-species are called hu-humans, and m-my full name is Ch-Charlie Hazel, y-your highness."

"I am Princess Luna. Remain calm, Charlie. Face your fears, the ponies will meet you eventually." she says, rising into the air towards the moon. "Befriend them! They can do you good!"

And by some sort of unexplaind miracle, she disappears into the moon. Her face shows on it, then fades away.

I shoot up, beads of sweat on my forehead. I feel the coldness of the gold press against my body, making me shiver. I sigh, then I look around to see if anypony is watching me. Luckily, nopony is. I jump onto my feet, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes before darting off to the cave mouth. I look around for my mouth is dry and my stomach is empty. I need food and water soon. I look around. The sun is beginning to rise, the sky is a beautiful orange and few clouds dot the skies. the grass is tinted orange-yellow. Looking more carefully, I see a small lake off in the distance.

It's settled then, I'll go there. It might take me an hour, it might take me two. I don't care. I just need something to drink before I shrivel up as if I've been stuffed into a microwave, and the microwave has been turned on, and my body juices are squeezed out until I am just a pile of skin sitting there. It is fairly cool this morning; it's not too bad. I decide to set off right this moment. The ponies won't see me then.

What if that pony in my dreams was right? Maybe they're nice? I mean they're nice on the show but, you never know, they could be horrid in real life. I guess she was nice. What was her name again? Oh yes, Princess Luna. I bet she's not even real. But she could be right. Wait! Why are you thinking about this, Charlie? You've got to go to the lake to drink water so you can LIVE!

I set off. Wait. I have to go down a frigging mountain. This is gonna be a long day. I start running down. You can say that I am gonna fall down the mountain. I bet I will.

I tumble on a tiny stone and trip. I land face down on the rocks.

"Oww..."

I get up. Pulling up my coat arm and looking at my arm, I sigh. I have a graze on my elbow, and it is covered in blood.

"Hooray..." I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

And that's how my walk is all the way down.

I'm finally at the bottom! I'm bleeding, but I'm finally here! The sun is clearly up in the sky now, and the sky itself is blue. I do a little victory dance before running towards the lake. I am far from the village of horses, so there can't be any chance of them seeing me, can there? I keep on running until my knees ache.

I take a break on the grass. My green eyes dart around as I look at strangely shaped clouds. I can feel the grass tickle my hands, and I can smell dandelions, they are everywhere after all. I can taste the air, it is sweet. I look up at the mountain; if I close one eye I can make it look as if I'm squishing it with my fingers. That keeps me busy for a while.

I need to get a move on. Getting to my feet, I start running, then I stop dead. My phone! It's in my pocket for heaven's sake! I facepalm hard. How could I be so stupid? I reach into my pocket, rummaging around until I pull it out, then I look at it in happiness. By some sort of miracle, it isn't broken! I switch it on and try calling someone.

Then I remember, I'm in an alternate universe. Well, no signal. That was a huge bust. I sigh and keep on running towards the lake.