The Art of Falling

Twilight stared down at the little plastic clouds and weather ponies that stood in orderly patterns on her game board. She stole a quick glance up at Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, then quickly looked back down at her pieces again.

She kept accidentally glancing between Rainbow Dash’s spread-apart hindlegs. It wasn’t as if she had never caught glimpses of her friend’s more intimate areas before. Rainbow rarely wore clothing, and she had a habit of hovering above everyone else. But Twilight had never seen them so openly on display. Her friend’s position invited surreptitious gazes, and Twilight couldn’t keep herself from looking.

She tried to focus on the game. The game was something Twilight understood. The board, which she had set on the foot of Dash’s hospital bed, consisted of a rigid, square grid pattern made up of vertical and horizontal lines and a partition to hide her pieces from her opponent's view. The lines were drawn at specific, set intervals, and each square in the grid was exactly equal in size and shape to all the other squares.

Except for one. One of the squares was crooked, and it threw the entire board into chaos. Twilight didn’t understand that at all.

Twilight also didn’t understand ponies. There had been a time when she was so socially isolated, she couldn’t have explained the behaviors of other ponies any better than she could have explained why kinetic energy wasn’t conserved in inelastic collisions. But now things were different. Twilight had become an expert on the transference of energy in inelastic collisions. She should have been an expert on ponies, too. She had studied friendship far more than she had studied theories of energy transference. At the very least, she should have understood her closest friends.

However, both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy seemed to be actively (and successfully) proving that she, in fact, knew nothing about friendship at all.

Twilight glanced up again, and her eyes settled on Rainbow Dash’s bandages. For an instant, Twilight watched Rainbow Dash fall again, saw her body hit the ground, and heard the crowd scream again.

Twilight shook her head. She didn’t need to think about that now. Later, but not now. She looked to Rainbow Dash’s chest instead. Dash had an identical board to Twilight’s lying on her stomach, which both Dash and Fluttershy frowned down at. Neither of them had smiled since they had started playing.

No, that wasn’t true. Fluttershy had tried to smile. More than once, actually. But, every time, her smiles had withered away almost as soon as they had started to bloom on her face. Rainbow Dash hadn’t smiled once since Twilight and Fluttershy had arrived that morning.

Twilight didn’t understand ponies. Sometimes, when she expected something was wrong with one of her friends, she could simply ask them what was wrong. Sometimes, though, being blunt was considered rude. Sometimes she was expected to ask in a subtle, roundabout sort of way. And sometimes she was expected to patiently wait for her friends to ask for help themselves. She had trouble knowing which approach any given situation called for. Even when she thought she had figured it all out, catalogued all the possible scenarios with neat and orderly notes in her scrolls, there would always be one more crooked square left she could never understand.

Twilight didn’t know what kind of situation this was. It felt a lot like a crooked square. Something was wrong, but Twilight didn’t know what it was or how to fix it. Twilight looked back up at Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy again. They were both still frowning, but now they were frowning at her.

“What is it?” Twilight asked. “Is something wrong?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

“It’s your turn,” Fluttershy said quietly.

“Oh.” Twilight blinked down at her pieces. “Sorry. I forgot. Uh, cloud six?”

Rainbow Dash sighed.

Fluttershy bit her lip, leaning down across Dash’s chest and peering at their board. “You got our stormcloud.” She picked it up in her mouth and dropped it with the rest of the discarded game pieces. “We only have one piece left.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Twilight said.

Rainbow Dash winced, then looked away. “Don’t say sorry.”

Fluttershy winced, too, when Dash said that. She looked at Dash, but the other pegasus stared mutely the other away.

Twilight frowned. She didn’t understand ponies. She especially didn’t understand Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

Twilight could understand why Rainbow Dash would be upset. She had spent her first night in the hospital, and it wouldn’t be her last. She couldn’t walk, she couldn’t fly, she couldn’t even feed herself. A little nagging voice in the back of Twilight’s whispered that it was Rainbow Dash’s fault. She had acted rashly, and she had gotten herself hurt. It hadn’t been the first time, either. Maybe, finally, Rainbow Dash would learn from this accident and stop hurting herself.

Twilight decided right then that she would speak to Rainbow Dash about it. Sometime soon. She refused to continue sitting idly by while one of her closest friends destroyed herself. But now wasn’t the right time. No, for now, Rainbow Dash had every reason to be upset.

Rainbow Dash didn’t seem like that kind of upset, though. She wasn’t complaining or expressing any irritation. She wasn’t angry or flustered. She was simply lying quietly in bed, not saying much of anything, never smiling, and never looking at Fluttershy.

That was the part that really confused Twilight. The entire time they had been at the hospital, Rainbow Dash had never once looked Fluttershy in the eyes. She didn’t have any problem looking at Twilight, or out the open window, or at the wall, or at the ceiling, or anywhere else that wasn’t in Fluttershy’s general direction. Fluttershy had noticed it, too. She kept trying to smile and catch Rainbow Dash’s attention, but Dash always looked obstinately some other way. Each time, Fluttershy’s smiles withered faster.

“What do you want to do?” Fluttershy asked softly, looking at Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash sighed down at the board. “Sky seven.”

Twilight examined her own board. The space labeled ‘sky seven’ was empty. “You got my weather pony!” she said. “Good job.” She levitated the little plastic weather pony off sky three, silently thanked him for his sacrifice, and dropped him with the others. Twilight smiled at Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash still didn’t smile back. “It’s your turn.”

“Okay.” Twilight’s smile fell. “Cloud four?”

Rainbow Dash sighed.

“That was our cumulus,” Fluttershy said. “Our last one. You win.”

Surely, there had never been a more subdued victory in all the history of board games. Fluttershy dropped the cumulus down with all the other fallen plastic figures. Then Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash all sat in silence.

“I’m sorry, Rainbow,” Twilight finally said, cleaning her throat. “I guess I’m better at this game than I thought.”

“Don’t say sorry,” Dash shot back, her eyes narrowed. “You shouldn’t say sorry for things when I’m the one who screwed up.”

Twilight blinked. “Oh…” She didn’t know what to say to that. Twilight was discovering this morning that there were a lot of things she didn’t know.

Fluttershy looked at Rainbow Dash, her eyes wide and wet and shimmering.

Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Sorry, never mind. I’m acting stupid. I think this hospital bed is getting to me. I’m just not used to sitting around this much.”

“It’s okay.” Twilight smiled. “I understand. I think I’d be a little testy if I couldn’t read, too.”

“Yeah…”

“Do you want to play again?” Fluttershy asked.

“We have time for at least one more,” Twilight said, checking the clock. It would be time for Rainbow Dash’s first treatments soon.

“No, I’ll let Twilight enjoy beating me at something for once.” The barest hint of a smile appeared on Dash’s face. “It doesn’t happen much. Probably never will again.”

Twilight laughed. “You’re too generous.”

“Do you want to play something else?” Fluttershy asked, smiling a little, too.

“Nah.” Dash shook her head. “I’m pretty tired.”

“What do you want to do, then?”

“I’m just tired,” Dash said again.

Twilight looked between them. She saw Rainbow Dash, looking sullenly down at her empty game board and pretending to yawn, and Fluttershy standing just beside her, a worried frown on her face.

Twilight didn’t understand ponies, but this seemed more like the ‘don’t pester anypony and patiently wait for her friends to ask her for help’ kind of situation. She kept her mouth firmly shut.

Fluttershy reached over and lightly touched Dash’s shoulder. “Do you want me to get you some more water? You’re out.”

Rainbow Dash turned and looked at her, actually looked Fluttershy in the eyes, for the first time that morning. They looked at each other for a long moment. Twilight looked away. Somehow, it seemed impolite to watch.

“Sure,” Rainbow Dash replied after a long silence.

“Okay.” Fluttershy gave Dash the smallest of nuzzles, then trotted away. “I’ll be right back.” She closed the door behind her, and left Twilight and Rainbow Dash alone together.

Twilight set about cleaning up the game. She picked up the boards and pieces in her magic, then neatly arranged them all inside the box and placed the lid on top with a tidy precision that would have made Rarity proud. When she finished, Twilight waited for Rainbow Dash to say something, but Dash only quietly stared at the wall. After a time, Twilight straightened the already straight bed sheets.

“Can I stay over with you?” Rainbow Dash asked suddenly.

“What?”

“When I get out of here,” Dash said, “do you mind if I stay over at the library for a couple nights?”

“Of course I wouldn’t,” Twilight answered. “I’d be glad to have you over again. You can stay with me whenever you want.”

“Thanks,” Dash murmured, looking down again.

They fell into another long silence.

Fluttershy had opened the window when they first arrived, and it was still open now. The sound of fluttering birds’ wings drifted inside along a cool breeze. The wind ran across the floor and up to the bed, then curled around Dash’s bandages and rustled her mane and feathers.

Rainbow turned and looked out the window.

Twilight’s heart ached, watching her. Rainbow Dash was meant to fly, just as flowers were meant to bloom. When Rainbow Dash lost her wings, the world lost that much of its beauty. Rainbow Dash must have known. Maybe not explicitly, but she must have been able to feel that deficit in the beautiful.

“I know a week must seem like a long time,” Twilight said, trying to talk like Celestia did all the times the Princess had helped Twilight with a soothing voice and a light touch. “But it’ll be over sooner than you think. A week really isn’t very long. You’ll be flying again in no time.”

“Should I?” Dash asked, still turned away.

“Should you what?”

Rainbow Dash shook her head. “This is so stupid.”

“Um…”

Rainbow Dash turned to Twilight. “Are you mad at me? You’re not, right? And neither is anypony else, right?”

“I—what? Of course I’m not mad at you,” Twilight answered. “Why would you think I was?”

“It’s just…” Dash looked at her bandaged hooves. “This is so stupid. You’re not mad at me for what I did at the relay? I messed up and I hurt myself, and I didn’t even need to do that trick, and I hadn’t even practiced it at all. I could have just kept flying straight. We would have qualified. It was stupid and I could have gotten really hurt.” She turned back to Twilight, eyes wide and questioning. “You’re not mad at me, though, right? It’s not a big deal?”

“Oh, well…” Twilight hadn’t wanted to have this conversation now. She would have preferred Rainbow Dash have time to heal and rest first. Hurt and confused were likely the worst conditions under which a pony could receive criticism, and Rainbow Dash had never been a pony particularly good at receiving criticism anyway. But Rainbow had asked… “I’m not angry with you,” Twilight began carefully. “I’m just upse—no, I’m disappointed. And worried.”

Rainbow Dash watched her closely.

“You said yourself,” Twilight continued, “you could have gotten really hurt. You did get really hurt. I’m scared when I think about how much worse it could have been. The way you looked in the grass yesterday… And you’re right, you could have simply kept flying straight. It was a needlessly reckless stunt with a frighteningly low chance of success.”

Rainbow lowered her head and closed her eyes.

Twilight hesitated, but it needed to be said. She had waited too long to say this. “You scared me, Rainbow. You scared all of us. The worst part is, not only is this not the first time, but I know for a certainty that it won’t be the last time. That’s what scares me more than anything else. It’s going to happen again. It’s just a matter of waiting—waiting and wondering how bad it will be next time.”

“I… I didn’t know,” Rainbow Dash whispered, her head still lowered.

Twilight leaned down and wrapped Rainbow in a gentle hug. “I know you didn’t. But you do now. Please don’t do this to yourself again.”

Rainbow Dash sniffled and shook her head.

“I brought the water,” a voice said from behind Twilight. “I’m sorry I took so—oh.”

Twilight leaned away from Dash and glanced backwards. Fluttershy stood halfway through the open doorway, a pitcher of water balanced on her back.

“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said quickly. “Am I interrupting? Should I leave? I’ll leave.” She began hurriedly backing out of the room, and water sloshed over the pitcher’s sides.

“No, it’s okay,” Twilight replied, using her magic to catch the spilt water and balance the pitcher. “Rainbow Dash and I were just talking.”

“Oh, okay…” Fluttershy timidly walked inside and set the pitcher on the bedside table. “Is everything all right?”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes were still closed. She sniffled again.

Twilight frowned. “Well—”

The door opened and a mare wearing scrubs stepped inside. “Visiting hours are over. We need to begin preparing the patient for treatment now.”

“Can you give us just one more minute?” Twilight asked.

The nurse shook her head.

“I’m sorry,” Twilight said. “But we’re in the middle of something very important. Could you please wait just one more minute?”

“No.” The nurse rolled her eyes. “The doctor has a busy schedule. No time for delays. You’re welcome to come back when her treatment is done.”

Twilight briefly considered imposing royal privilege, but stopped herself. Celestia had warned against inappropriate use of her titles. “Is it possible that we could stay during the treatment? It’ll only take a minute, and I promise to be quiet.”

“No. The room must be clear of all non-staff. Hospital policy.”

“Oh.” Twilight looked down at Dash and smiled. “Well, we’ll finish this talk soon. Rarity and Pinkie Pie will be coming by later to see you, okay, Rainbow?”

Dash nodded, eyes still closed.

Twilight gave her a small kiss on the forehead. “Everything will turn out okay. Your wings and hooves will heal sooner than you think. Just get some rest,” she said, then walked towards the door.

Fluttershy hesitated by the bed. She leaned down close to Rainbow Dash and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Dash said quietly. “I’m fine.”

Fluttershy nodded and gave her a small hug, then she walked away and joined Twilight by the door. They left together.

“How are we feeling today, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight heard the nurse say, just as the door closed behind them.

Twilight and Fluttershy walked down the hospital hallway, passing busy orderlies and bored nurses.

Twilight silently scolded herself. Rainbow Dash hadn’t taken it well. Not at all. Twilight had a terrible habit of lecturing first and asking questions later. Celestia had warned her against that, too. Twilight should have waited. Rainbow Dash had looked bad all morning. Acted strangely, too.

“She was too quiet,” Twilight said, more to herself than to Fluttershy. She had seen Dash go through at least two dozen similar accidents, and each time Dash had shrugged off her injuries with the same practiced nonchalance with which she shrugged off punctual weather duties.  “Rainbow Dash is never quiet. She didn’t enjoy the game at all, either, and that was one of her favorites.”

Fluttershy didn’t reply.

“I’ve never seen her react so poorly to an accident before,” Twilight continued, looking to Fluttershy. “Do you think something else could have happened that upset her? Last night, maybe?”

Fluttershy looked down at the floor, and said very quietly, “It was me.”

“What?” Twilight asked. “What was you?”

“It was me,” Fluttershy said again, sniffling. “This is all my fault.”

“How could this possibly be all your fault?”

“I never should have said anything at all! It wasn’t fair to her. I should have just let her rest,” Fluttershy said in a rush, beginning to walk faster. “I just got so angry, and now look what I’ve done!”

Twilight quickened her pace to keep up with her. “What do you mean? What did you say?”

Fluttershy walked faster still, nearly charging right through several annoyed-looking orderlies who stepped out of the way just in time. “It’s all my fault. This was the worst possible time I ever could have said anything. All she needed was rest.”

“I don’t understand,” Twilight said between apologizing to the orderlies and trying to keep pace. “What did you do?”

“I yelled at her!” Fluttershy cried, stopping suddenly and whirling around to face Twilight. “I just got so angry, and I was so scared for her. Did you see her fall? I really thought she might have been… And she didn’t care at all!”

Twilight stopped short, breathing heavily. “Fluttershy...”

“She only cared about that relay,” Fluttershy continued, “I just got so angry, I yelled at her. I apologized right after, but I think I really hurt her feelings. You saw how she looked. I’ve never seen her like that, and I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s all right,” Twilight said, finally catching her breath. “Everypony makes mistakes. And as far as mistakes go, this one doesn’t sound so bad.”

“But I—”

Twilight held a hoof to Fluttershy’s mouth. “First, I think we should go somewhere a little more private.”

Fluttershy looked around, as if realizing where she was for the first time, and that she was in either full view or earshot of an entire hospital floor of ponies. Fluttershy’s cheeks reddened, and she smiled at a pair of doctors who had been watching them. “Oh my,” she said quietly. “You’re right. Let’s leave.”

Twilight quickly led Fluttershy through the hospital and towards the entrance. Twilight tried to walk like Celestia, stately and elegant. Twilight had always taken some comfort in the way Celestia walked. Even in the most desperate situations, Celestia always looked so sure of herself. “This explains why Rainbow Dash asked me that, though,” Twilight said as they walked through the entrance and outside.

The hospital had been built away from Ponyville proper. Open spaces, green grass, tall trees, and blossoming flowers could be seen in every direction.

“What did Rainbow Dash ask you?” Fluttershy asked.

Twilight trotted towards one of the benches that lined the road to the hospital. “She asked me if I was angry at her. It was while you were out. After you yell—talked to her last night, she must have been worried we were all upset with her.”

Fluttershy hurried to Twilight’s side. “And what did you say? You said you weren’t, right?”

“Well…” Twilight sat down on the bench with a small sigh. “I explained to her that I wasn’t angry, but that I was worried. I told her that what she did was reckless. I told her how much she scared me—all of us—yesterday, and every time she does this.”

Fluttershy frowned at Twilight the same way she would have frowned at Angel Bunny after he had done something particularly mischievous. “You shouldn’t have said that.”

“I don’t think I should have lied. Yelling isn’t the right way to go about this, but I think we all knew this was a conversation we needed to have with her eventually. I’m glad you finally tried to talk to her about it.”

Fluttershy sighed. “I feel so sorry for her. After what I said to her yesterday, and now you, too. She must think all her friends are angry with her, and just when she needs our help more than ever.”

 “I told her I wasn’t angry with her.”

“A pony can say she isn’t angry, and still be angry.”

“Fluttershy,” Twilight said, running a hoof through her mane. “I know the timing was bad, especially after what you said to her last night. If I’d known about that, I probably wouldn’t have said anything. But what I said was true, and you know it. Somepony needed to tell her. She can’t keep hurting herself like this.”

“Oh, I know…” Fluttershy sighed again and sat down next to Twilight. “We could have waited until she felt better.”

“I know, but she asked me. She’s never asked me anything about it before. I didn’t know if I’d have another chance.”

Fluttershy stared down at the ground. “I shouldn’t have yelled at her.”

“I’m sure she’ll forgive you. Rainbow Dash is never angry at anypony for long.”

“I just…” Fluttershy leaned down and dragged her hoof through the dirt. “This must be so hard for her. I just wish I could do something to make her feel better.”

“Me, too,” Twilight said. They couldn’t let Rainbow Dash lie in that bed, doing nothing but soaking in scratchy, sweaty blankets and guilt all day. The game had been a good idea, but they needed more. “What if we went to her house tomorrow and grabbed some of her things, her Daring Do novels, some more of her games, anything else she might want? It could help her feel better.”

Fluttershy raised her head and smiled. “Oh, and we could get some of her posters and other things from home to decorate her room with. She would feel more comfortable, then!”

“That’s a great idea.” Twilight nodded. “I’ll get Rarity to ask Rainbow Dash if there’s anything in particular she wants when she visits today.”

“I do hope this helps,” Fluttershy said quietly.

“I’m sure it will. It’ll distract her, at least.” Twilight looked up at the sun, then groaned. “Oh no, Cheerilee is supposed to bring her students to the library today for a field trip, and I’m already late.”

Fluttershy eased herself off the bench. “I’ll walk with you, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.”

“Is Tank at the library?” Fluttershy asked as they began trotting away. “I went to Rainbow Dash’s house to find him, but he wasn’t there. I know she’s been staying the night with you a lot recently.”

“No,” Twilight answered, shaking her head. “I think she’s been sleeping over with Rarity and Pinkie Pie, too. You might want to try asking them. I think bringing Tank over is a good idea, though.”

Fluttershy looked down at the ground.  “She doesn’t sleep over with me anymore…”

“Does she ever stay with Applejack anymore?” Twilight asked.

“No,” Fluttershy said. “Not since we started dating.”

“Maybe she thinks it wouldn’t be polite.”

“I guess so,” Fluttershy said quietly.

They trotted together away from the hospital, Twilight in a hurry and Fluttershy following slowly behind.