Ingress: Fraternisation

“So, tell me about this ‘Icarus’ incident,” Dave said quietly, watching through his spotter’s scope at the farm house. An army green blanket was pulled up over his head and covered most of the spotter’s scope, warding off the thin drizzle of rain that splattered across his form.

Nightshade was curled up, a hot lump against his chest, her nose poking out from under the blanket so she could breath in the exceptionally cold morning air.

“What do you want to know? I only have second-hoof accounts,” Nightshade admitted, her voice muffled by the blanket.

“How Celestia managed to get to Earth without our politicians screwing it up?” Dave asked, keeping his voice at a low whisper to observe noise discipline.

“Well… Honestly? She basically teleported into a NATO conference, told them that she was going to do this thing, and then invited them to attempt to stop her,” Nightshade said with a soft giggle.

“That seems… unwise. Not in the least because NATO holds about as much power as a fax machine these days,” Dave said with a derisive snort.

Nightshade shrugged, and Dave felt the motion against his chest. “She approached a meeting of many of the world’s powers. It was either that or antagonize the leader of the country she was going to invade.”

“So… they stole a pony, and Celestia herself went and got her back? Isn’t that a bit extreme?” Dave asked simply.

Nightshade nodded. “Perhaps. But Celestia is very hooves-on. I’m sure her personal human advisor has discovered that by now,” the batpony said with a secretive little giggle.

Dave pondered on that for a moment. “What do you mean by that?”

“I’m sure you’ll get it eventually,” Nightshade responded.

“So… Why Australia?”

“Why not the middle of the ocean? After all, Sol is more water than land mass,” Nightshade quipped.

“Been reading up, have you?” Dave accused.

“Something like that,” Nightshade admitted with a soft giggle. “And I know why it was Australia. Most of the senior guard on both sides know about the second portal…”

“Second portal?” Dave asked, stiffening slightly. “Why is there a second portal?”

“Well… first portal, really. It was the precursor,” Nightshade admitted. “I’m not supposed to tell anypony about it.”

“I’m not a pony,” Dave pointed out.

“I realise this. Kind of a scummy way to get around a gag order, isn’t it?”

“Well?”

“Well, do you promise not to tell anypony, or anyone, if I sate your curiosity?” Nightshade asked carefully.

“I will not tell a living creature,” Dave promised.

Nightshade poked him.

“Or any recording device,” Dave added.

“Good boy. The way it was explained to me is that a certain pony made a portal when trying to increase her closet space. I won’t tell you which pony, or even where on Equestria they are at the moment,” Nightshade explained simply.

“But why Australia, then? Why not the US? It’s the current world superpower,” Dave said blankly. “Australia doesn’t make sense.”

“Because it’s a multiverse,” Nightshade explained patiently. “She was trying to create a portal to someone else on Equestria, but ended up making a portal right back to the closet. But magic doesn’t work like that. Making a portal to itself is like…”

“Dividing by zero?” Dave offered.

“Exactly!” Nightshade said, nodding earnestly. “Like dividing by zero, it makes no sense. So it went to the same cupboard, but ended up in another dimension entirely.”

“That’s bizarre,” Dave said simply.

“Well, it happened. No matter how strange it is, it’s fact,” Nightshade explained with a shake of her head.

“But why Australia, again?”

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” Nightshade asked, exasperated.

“Yes,” Dave responded bluntly.

“It went to the alternate-dimension version of the cupboard, which so happened to be in Australia for whatever reason,” Nightshade explained, growing impatient.

“So that’s why the day and night are so inverted on coming through the portal, and why Equestria seems much more like America than Australia?”

“Exactly! Your America is a transdimensional allegory of Equestria… if you didn’t have magic and didn’t have a goddess and had a bunch of old dinosaurs running the country and making the rules.”

“Succinct” Dave said drily.

“I aim to be accurate,” Nightshade said with a giggle.

“And now, the most important question: Why didn’t you bring a damn blanket?”

“It’s not supposed to be this cold. Or raining,” Nightshade explained calmly. “It was supposed to be balmy and dry. Not a cloud in sight. Now it’s overcast and drizzling and miserable.”

Dave didn’t answer immediately. Having a batpony snuggled up against his chest wasn’t so miserable, even though his toes were getting wet and starting to grow exceptionally cold.

“Yeah, well the weather isn’t so predictable,” Dave said with a shrug. “Expect the unexpected.”

“Maybe on Earth. Here in Equestria, the weather runs on a timetable,” Nightshade explained flatly. “Which means someone paid someone in the weather service to make it miserable tonight, which in turn forces ponies to stay indoors and makes them very unlikely to observe any possible meeting.”

“Seems a stretch,” Dave said with a slight shake of his head.

“Do you like walking outside in the rain at night when it’s cold?”

“Touché. But you didn’t think you could have told me this earlier?” Dave complained.

“Nope,” Nightshade admitted flippantly. “You wouldn’t do anything with the information.”

“So what’s our next step?” Dave queried.

“We wait for sunrise, you keep watching the farmhouse, and I enjoy your body warmth,” Nightshade said simply.

“All the lights are out and everyone is asleep,” Dave complained.

“Probably. That meeting with Razor Edge was probably what we were looking for. He’s basically a mercenary at this point. Has a mean streak, likes his knives, but generally doesn’t harm any pony. So we let him roam free.”

“That seems unwise,” Dave said simply.

“Ponies have to make a living. Sometimes, they have to inconvenience other ponies to do so. So long as he doesn’t go overboard, we leave him alone.”

“We’re gonna have to agree to disagree there,” Dave said blankly. “On Earth, he’d be thrown into prison.”

“Ah, yes, throw all the criminals in one place and hope they learn their lesson,” Nightshade teased with a shake of her head. “Barbaric.”

“Well, it kinda works for us,” Dave said helplessly. “I know if all criminals had their occupation branded on their skin it’d be a lot easier to track them down.”

“What is a sword to you?” Nightshade asked suddenly.

“A weapon. Sometimes a work of art. My grandfather has a Japanese katana he took from a battlefield in the Pacific somewhere,” Dave said with a shrug. “Why?”

“A sword can mean many things. On a pony, it can mean they use the sword for good… or for evil,” Nightshade explained calmly. “Something that makes a pony a good criminal could just as easily make them an exemplary guard. But imagine for a second that you had a rifle as your cutie mark… and weren’t in the army. What would you be?”

Dave blinked once, going quiet as he thought. “Maybe a hunter?”

“You didn’t immediately think of yourself as a clocktower sniper?”

“That was a surprisingly good human analogy,” Dave said guardedly.

“We were taught about your weapons as part of our new training. How a civilian with the right training can become a monster using your weapons. But the question still stands,” Nightshade said simply. “You didn’t see yourself as a criminal immediately, did you?”

“Well, no, I’m not a criminal,” Dave said helplessly. “What are you getting at?”

“Just because a pony has a bad cutie mark doesn’t make them bad. Razor Edge’s cutie mark is a blade, surely, and his special talent is intimidation. But what makes him an excellent criminal could also make him an excellent royal guard.”

“I guess so,” Dave said with a shrug. “But it’s pretty clear he’s not doing anything legal here.”

“But he is operating within bounds of his cutie mark. Celestial Edict is that we don’t incarcerate or otherwise impede a pony if their actions do not have great negative repercussions against others.”

“That seems so bullshit,” Dave said bluntly. “Utterly bullshit.”

“A pony can no more help their cutie mark than you can help breathing. If a pony needs to steal to be whole, then we don’t stop them from stealing. We just stop them from stealing too much, and if they become a problem to themselves, we rehabilitate them,” Nightshade explained. “Our culture is very different to yours.”

“Very different,” Dave admitted, frowning slightly.

“You realise your neck is very exposed to me, right?” Nightshade asked, pushing her nose against his throat almost innocently.

“And?”

“And I’ll bite you if you don’t change your tone,” Nightshade said calmly.

“What are you, some kind of vampire?” Dave asked teasingly.

An awkward silence met his question.

“What?” Dave asked after a few moments of silence. “Are you… are you actually some kind of vampire?” he asked, fighting the urge to pull his shirt up over his throat.”

“My kind does drink blood. It’s not… needed. But we can do so. It tastes quite nice, and I’ve never tasted a human before…” Nightshade said calmly.

“I don’t know if you’re just trying to freak me out…” Dave said quietly, swallowing thickly.

Nightshade giggled innocently, dragging a lick of a hot velvet tongue against his throat. “It’s working, isn’t it?”

“Very much,” Dave admitted.

Nightshade giggled again, grazing her teeth against Dave’s neck.

Dave flinched.

“So twitchy,” Nightshade whispered, grazing the sharp points of her fangs across his throat. “It’ll be daylight soon.”

“Yeah, give it an hour or so,” Dave said with a slight nod. “What’s our exit strategy?”

“I was thinking we could stand up and walk,” Nightshade said thoughtfully. “I’ll leave a message at the waystation for somepony to tail Razor Edge.”

“We’re not going to follow him ourselves?” Dave asked blankly.

Nightshade shook her head. “No, we’re going to track down the weather pony that’s been changing the weather up, and we’re going to observe him or her and see what they’ve been up to.”

“That seems a stretch, though. I’m still not convinced anyone has even been screwing with the weather,” Dave admitted.

“Trust me,” Nightshade said confidently. “Weather is on a schedule, when that schedule isn’t kept, something is amiss.”

The soft drizzle of the early morning was a wistful memory by mid-morning. Nightshade and Dave had moved out at first light, and the sloped terrain was playing havoc with Dave as he tried to keep up with the batpony.

With her wings, Nightshade was capable of gliding down the slopes and and then coasting up the next slope partway. She was rested and fresh, waiting for him at the top of each and every crest with a faint smirk playing across her features.

“We need to stop,” Dave said, taking a long drink from his canteen, pausing at the crest of the next hill. “We haven’t eaten since we left HQ, and I don’t know about you, but humans need to eat. Three times a day, no less.”

Nightshade peered at him for a long moment, before giving a long-suffering sigh. “Fine, fine. You lasted a lot longer than the others did.”

“What?” Dave asked suddenly.

“Nothing,” Nightshade sing-songed, lazily flapping her wings to glide down the slope towards the stream nearby.

Dave sighed and followed after her.

Dave found Nightshade at a bend in the river, where it crashed down rather spectacularly over a stand of rocks, creating a small waterfall. Immediately, he dropped his pack and his rifle, dropping to his knees at the water’s edge and leaning forwards to cup some of it in his hands. He brought it up to his face, inspecting it and then sniffing at it carefully, before taking a long gulp, and then splashing the rest over his face.

Nightshade stretched idly, reaching back to undo her saddlebags while Dave started to refill his empty canteen from the river. She opened up one of her bags, pulling out a wrapped package that Dave could only assume were Equestria’s version of rations.

A muesli bar studded with dried fruits, some nuts, a wax-sealed jar with some kind of liquid inside, and a selection of dried fruit were all laid out in the package.

Dave reached into his own pack, pulling out his own ration. He had three of them stuffed in his bag, enough for three days. Unfortunately, his was the less widely used patrol MRE, rather than the ‘combat’ MRE given to soldiers operating in a group. It weighed less, but had more freeze-dried and dehydrated components. It had a very negative impact on taste.

Nightshade eyed his ration pack as he started to open it, mincing towards him, chewing idly at one of her muesli bars. “Whatcha got?”

“A bunch of pretty powder and some moderately-edible stuff mixed in,” Dave said with a shrug, flipping open the MRE. Compared to what Nightshade had, his pack was a veritable feast.

Automatically, he grabbed the two largest packets, and pushed them back into the pack.

“What was that?” Nightshade queried.

“Uhhh, you probably don’t want to know… or do you?” Dave asked thoughtfully, rubbing his chin with a thumb, wincing at the stubble that was forming. “It’s… well, beef.”

“You mean… a cow?” Nightshade asked, wrinkling her nose deeply. “That’s disgusting.”

“I take it you don’t eat meat?” Dave asked carefully.

“Ew, no,” Nightshade said, cringing. “That’s disgusting.”

“This coming from the pony that wanted to suck my blood?” Dave asked blankly.

“Blood is entirely different,” Nightshade said with a shudder. “Drinking blood and eating meat are far, far removed from each other.”

“Do you even eat fish?” Dave asked blankly.

“Fish? I’ll eat fish,” Nightshade said suddenly.

Dave smirked. “Definitely not vegan, then.”

“Vegan?” Nightshade queried blankly. “What’s that?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dave said, throwing her one of the packets. “That’s tuna. It’s basically a spread by the time you get into it. All mushy and disgusting. Dig in.”

Nightshade gave the pouch an experimental prod, wincing slightly. “This is barbaric.”

“Try some,” Dave suggested with a shrug, digging around in the rest of the packets to come up with another packet, tossing it to her too. “Chilli sauce. Very tasty.”

“You humans eat the weirdest foods…” Nightshade said uncertainly, but carefully tore open the pouch of tuna.

Dave’s eyes almost watered from the smell even from where he was sitting. “Well… it smells like fish.”

“Try putting some chilli sauce on it first, it’ll mask the taste,” Dave suggested, tearing open biscuit packet and then smearing a fruit spread across it.

Nightshade carefully tore open the chilli packet, pouring some into the tuna. “Are you sure this is safe to eat? It smells… strange.”

“Never had chilli before?”

“I’ve heard it’s an ‘explosion of flavour’,” Nightshade admitted.

“Yeah, dig in,” Dave said, deadpan, picking up various parts of the MRE to stuff into his pockets for later consumption.

Nightshade carefully pulled the pouch up to her nose, taking a large mouthful of the tuna/chilli mixture and working it around on her tongue. After a few moments, she swallowed.

“It tastes funky… kinda weird. The fish is all… stale, and the chilli tastes like…”

“Tastes like?” Dave asked, a slow smile spreading across his features as the batpony opened her mouth, starting to breath hard.

“Tastes like hot sauce!” Nightshade declared suddenly, scrambling to her feet and clumsily bounding towards the river, stuffing her entire head in the water and blowing bubbles rapidly.

Dave just watched and laughed, shaking his head.

Nightshade came up with a hard gasp for air, shooting a mutinous look at him over her shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me it was hot!?”

“That’s kinda implied by the ‘chilli’ part of the title,” Dave pointed out.

“Did you really need to weaponize your food, too?” Nightshade complained, rubbing her tongue with her hoof rapidly, still breathing heavily.

“Well if I run out of ammo I can throw chilli sauce at my enemies,” Dave pointed out with a smirk. “Actually, from what I heard, there were a bunch of guys way back when that used to hollow out chicken’s eggs, fill them with chilli powder, and fling them at enemy’s faces.”

“Humans are barbaric!” Nightshade protested.

“We’re not all bad,” Dave said with a shrug, rolling his MRE back up and putting it back in his bag, opening up a candy bar to chew on in the meantime. “Now, are we staying here long enough for me to wash some of this sweat off? You’ve had me running up and down hills for hours now.”

“Very well, you may bathe,” Nightshade said with a wave of her hoof.

Dave gave a sigh of relief, unclipping his combat vest and tossing it aside, followed by his jacket and pants, stripping down to a singlet and pair of pants. He wasted no time in stepping under the waterfall, gasping aloud at the icy coldness of the water.

“Jesus fucking Christ that’s cold!” Dave complained, taking a step backwards, gritting his teeth and then stepping back under the heavy curtain of water. He fell to one knee under the weight of it, before turning around to sit on his rump so he didn’t slip and fall and do something stupid like crack his head open.

“What’s this?” Nightshade asked from behind him, motioning a hoof towards his shoulder, where a tattoo sat proud and black on the back of his shoulder. “A cutie mark?”

“Oh? This? It’s just a tattoo,” Dave said with a shrug. “Celebrated my eighteenth birthday by getting drunk and letting my mates talk me into getting a tattoo.”

“What’s it mean?” Nightshade asked curiously, tracing it with a hoof.

“Well, I was told it meant ‘prosperity’ and ‘wealth’, in chinese,” Dave said with a helpless shrug.

Nightshade raised an eyebrow. “It doesn’t mean that?”

“No, actually. I found out it means ‘the sound of drums’,” Dave said with a rueful smile.

“The sound of drums?” Nightshade asked blankly. “That is such a stupid thing to have on your body.”

“Well I can have it lasered-out, but… I kinda like it. I just tell people it means something cool. Nobody I know reads Chinese, anyway,” Dave said with a shrug.

“Your body is so bizarre,” Nightshade almost whispered, circling around him, squeezing his arms and shoulders carefully. “It’s so… bulbous!”

Dave gave her a long stare. “Bulbous? Are you calling me fat?”

“No, look!” Nightshade said, squeezing his shoulder. “You have a haunch on your shoulder!”

“It’s just muscles,” Dave said with a helpless shrug, “They’re kinda round at the shoulders because we move our arms a lot further than you move your legs. Therefore, we need more muscles in the same spot to facilitate all that movement.”

“That.. makes sense,” Nightshade admitted, tracing his back with a hoof. “So alien…”

“You’re alien to me, too!” Dave protested. “You’re all sleek… and furry. And you want to drink my blood.”

“I’ve never tasted a human before,” Nightshade reminded with a wicked smile, licking her lips. “You could be delectable.”

“The last time I had a girl say that to me, required a hospital visit,” Dave said uncomfortably.

“Oh come on, not even a nibble?” Nightshade asked pouting.

Dave raised an eyebrow, before shrugging and tilting his head to the side, giving her a long stare. “Well? Go ahead then,” he said, calling her bluff.

Nightshade gave a giggle at that, sauntering towards him, her wings flaring just slightly, causing the water to cascade off them in a harsh spray. She stepped into his lap, bumping her nose against his throat. “Careful what you wish for, Mr Richards.”

Dave rolled his eyes at that, tilting slightly to watch as Nightshade rubbed her muzzle against his neck slowly, a low purr raising from her throat. “Jeeze, you are like a giant cat,” he teased, lifting a hand to touch at one of her wings curiously. “And I knew you weren’t really go—”

Dave cut off into a cry of surprise and pain as Nightshade suddenly lunged forwards and bit at his neck with a surprisingly swift motion. Her fangs sank through the thin layer of flesh easily, puncturing his skin. His eyes widened, and he stiffened under her. “What the fuck?! You fucking bit me!” he protested, trying to push her away.

Nightshade gave a low growl, surprisingly powerful hooves grasping around his shoulders to hold him firmly in place as she pushed herself entirely up against his chest, closing her lips over his throat to suckle eagerly.

Dave cringed, wincing and biting his tongue, grinding his heel into the slick rock underneath them. “Oh fuck… this hurts so much more than they make it out in the movies,” he managed to gasp, his hands lifting to squeeze around her wings on reflex, even as he felt her suckling in earnest at his neck.

After a few moments, the pain began to fade, being replaced with a strangely lulling sense of calm. His mind clouded, and he slowly relaxed. As his muscles relaxed, Nightshade’s grip loosened, and she just laid against him limply, suckling lightly at the side of his throat.

Dave became very conscious of the batpony. She weighed surprisingly little, and had the softest fur he had ever felt. It was velvet, thick, soft, and luxurious. He had never touched a panda before, but he imagined it was what a baby panda would feel like.

Warm hooves wrapped idly around his middle as the batpony suckled at his throat, a content hum rolling from her throat, vibrating against his neck.

Dave arched under her almost lazily, giving a shaky exhalation and then slowly stroking a hand down over her wings and across the line of her back, even letting his palm skim across her tail slowly.

Growling eagerly, Nightshade shifted fully into his lap, straddling him entirely, soft belly pushed against his own, wings splayed eagerly as she rested against him, suckling all the while.

Dave squeezed her sides idly, just enjoying the texture of her fur and the smooth lines of her muscles underneath. It took him several long moments to realise exactly how she was arranged on him. He blinked hazily, peering down into her lidded golden eyes, feeling a certain stirring in his blood. His breathing started to echo loudly in his head, and he squirmed under her slightly.

Nightshade felt the stirring, she had to. She was pressed right against him, seated in his lap; a front-row seat to the throb of blood that wasn’t currently filling her eager muzzle.

Dave gave a soft gasp, squeezing her hips on reflex as the batpony gave a slow grind of them across him. He could feel something utterly soft rubbing against his hardness through the fabric of his shorts.

With a soft shudder, he pushed his hands down further, cupping the batpony’s rump, squeezing idly, before pushing his fingers down further, searching.

Nightshade drew back with a gasp, panting heavily and licking her lips, leaning in to lick delicately at his throat to clean him up, quickly pushing herself to her full height so their hips were no longer touching, her cheeks burning with a faint blush. “You taste… good…” she murmured, licking her fangs delicately.

“I’m glad I taste nice,” Dave said, a little disappointed by her disengaging from him, but otherwise almost euphoric. If he could liken his frame of mind to anything, then it was the time he had tried pot with his roommates. Everything was a haze. Nothing felt particularly wrong, but there was definitely different. Some gentle pressure weighing down on his thoughts and encouraging him to feel pleased.

Nightshade reappeared in his vision, and Dave was suddenly aware that she had left. She stuffed half of a muesli bar in his mouth. “Eat that. I didn’t take much, but you seem a lilttle out of it.”

“Sir, yes, ma’am,” Dave said, sketching a lazy salute.

Nightshade took a step backwards, the faint blush still visible on her muzzle. “Get suited back up, we’re moving out.”