Maud has sex with Everypony.

by Mustard Is Best Pony

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Sex, Random, Maud Pie
Length: 6916

Maud has sex with Everypony. Literally.

The title says it all. Maud makes a return visit to Ponyville for some contrived reason, only to find out the herd-like town has devolved into some state of constant heat and sex. She's inevitably swept up in the enthusiasm and...
Well...
Maud has sex with Everypony.
Literally.

~~~~~~~

A sort of challenge. One chapter involving each character from the tag box, with a minimum of 500 words per chapter.
Approximately 90 characters, making exceptions for things like foalcon, beastiality, etc, etc. Some chapters may or may not involve multiple characters.

--------------

THIS IS NOT A SERIOUS STORY.
THIS IS A SILLY STORY WRITTEN FOR SILLY REASONS.
MUSTARD IMPLORES YOU TO KEEP THIS IN MIND WHILE READING.

Published 2014-03-26 10:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-11 01:04:50 UTC

Pinkie Pie

Maud stepped off of the train into the dusty Ponyville air with a soft sigh. She wasn't entirely certain why it was she had decided to re-visit her sister, and if she had to force herself to come up with a reason, it'd be because she just cared enough about her to stop by. She had hardly got a chance to glance at a rather intriguing-looking hung of igneous rock just off to the left of the platform when a pink-colored streak of energy tackled her. Or at least, they tried to. Maud was rather used to Pinkie's exuberant displays of affection, and as such barely flinched when her sister blasted full-bore into her flank. Pinkie seemed unfazed as she began to laugh and rub her cheek all over Maud's neck.

"I'm SO glad you could make it again, Maud! You're in for a real treat!"

"I love surprises." Maud drawled, a hint of a smile curling the corners of her mouth up as she stoically disengaged from Pinkie. Pinkie just bounced around her in a circle, doing three laps for every five feet Maud walked.

"That's awesome! Because I TOTALLY forgot what's going on this week!" Pinkie giggled as she came to a halt, her hair bouncing with inertia as she beamed at Maud.

"What did you forget?" Maud mumbled, glancing longingly back at the igneous boulder.

"This is Heat Week!" Pinkie squealed, her flanks quivering with what Maud would guess was excitement. That, more than probably anything else in the history of... Well, ever, made Maud react. She blinked at Pinkie twice and opened her mouth a few times. When she was finally able to sort her thoughts, she managed a few words.

"What's 'Heat Week?'"

"Well do you remember when you, me, mom, dad, and the sisters lived on the rock farm? How when we started to grow up a little bit more, we all started to get this period where we'd all get kind of irritable and snippy with dad, so much that he just left for the whole week?"

"Eer... Yeah, kinda." Maud didn't exactly like where Pinkie was headed with this...

"Well, Ponyville's got so many mares in it, we ALL do that! But the stallions here don't mind us getting all snippy and whatnot! They just roll with it. In fact, some of them enjoy it! Look!" Pinkie gestured with a sweeping hoof out to the town center, beaming as Maud laid eyes on something she'd never expected to see before.

Everypony she saw was either fucking, or about to be fucking. Mares went down on mares, stallions teamed up on mares, and some mares just unabashedly masturbated in front of everypony.

"Eer... Pinkie, I don't think I should be in Ponyville this week..."

"But you're still on the same cycle as me, right?!" Pinkie beamed, bouncing around her in a circle again. Maud became painfully aware of the smell that seemed to permeate the air just then. The musky, heady scent of arousal and sex wafted past her nose, reminding her of how long it had been since her own last sexual encounter. At least, one that didn't involve an amazing deposit of malachite or some completely fascinating sedimentary boulders. She squirmed her thighs together, glancing about before coming back to Pinkie once more.

"I'm on my cycle, yeah, but..."

"But nothing, silly!" Pinkie Pie flipped over Maud, using her flanks as a vaulting board to land behind her. Maud looked over her shoulder as Pinkie unceremoniously lifted the hem of her dress. "Just relax and join the fun! I promise you're going to enjoy it more than your last visit!"

"Pinkie..." Maud blushed as her sister lifted her tail, exposing her backside. "That's- hey." She stopped short as Pinkie wasted no time diving in, her tongue sloppily dragging over the epicenter of her heat. Maud felt pleasure rock through her core, not unlike molten magma. Ooh... Magma... The thought sent a shudder along her flanks, making Maud close her eyes with a soft sigh. Pinkie's tongue lashed at her core, eliciting a waterfall of saliva and juice. Maud pulled at the neckline of her dress, feeling hotter than she had in the confines of the rocking train.

"Hmm! You taste yummy!" Pinkie bubbled, her quick sentence sending a hot wave of her breath washing over Maud's stomach. She lifted her rear leg a little bit, flexing her muscles as Pinkie continued to lick.

"P-pinkie..." Maud shuddered, placing her hooves back on the ground once more. She grit her teeth and tried to resist it, but the long time it had been since her last partner and the scent of sex in the air coupled with her own heat cycle brought Maud to orgasm quicker than she could react. Pinkie pulled away from Maud's dripping cunt with a giggle, her eyes closed as Maud squirted a thin stream of liquid onto her face.

"Wow! That was super quick!" Pinkie cartwheeled around to Maud's front, plastering their lips together for a musky-tasting, rough kiss. Maud just blinked and blushed a little.

"It's been a while."

"I can tell! But you came to the right place at the right time!" Pinkie spun around, eyeing the relatively large group of ponies in the town center. "Let's see if we can't find somepony to help you out... Ahah!" Pinkie grinned as she shot off faster than a rocket, fishing a stallion from among the many ponies going at it. Maud watched with mild interest as Pinkie dragged him over towards her position.

Flash Sentry

The pegasus stuttered a bit as Pinkie Pie dragged him forwards, but when Maud's stoic gaze washed over him, he froze up and stared at her with a mixture of fear and intimidation.

"This here is Flash Sentry!" Pinkie Pie bubbled, whipping her head around to throw the pegasus to the ground in front of Maud. She simply looked down at the off-yellow colored pegasus, giving a slight nod befitting of a formal introduction. Flash Sentry looked her up and down before getting to his hooves, albeit a bit unsteadily.

"I-I'm just in town on business," He started to stutter, glancing about furtively. "I, uuh... I didn't know Ponyville got like this."

"Once a month!" Pinkie beamed, bouncing around behind Maud to start licking her once more.

"Pinkie..." Maud looked back at her sister once more, blushing just a little as another wave of pleasure rocked through her.

"I'm getting you ready!" Pinkie bubbled, her tongue restless against Maud's dripping labia.

"For me?" Flash Sentry stammered, peering over Maud's flanks. She could see the pegasus was already hard, undoubtedly from the debauched display of sex all around them.

"Of course, silly! I already had my fun with her! Now it's your turn!" Pinkie's hooves shot forth, wrapping around Flash Sentry's neck quick and easily. Maud watched as the yellow-ish pegasus was dragged behind her, and her dress was flipped up over her flanks. Almost out of instinct than anything else, her tail swished aside, giving him a peek of her drenched cunt.

"Oh... I, uuh... I guess I got time for one more." Flash Sentry awkwardly followed Pinkie's eager motions, lifting himself up until his hooves rested on Maud's flanks. She wasn't the only wet one as she felt his flared head press against her, rubbing up and down a few times. Then she remembered Pinkie had descended into the fray of fucking ponies to pull him out. Knowing Pinkie, she had just yanked him from outside of another mare. Then again, the poor guy looked like he was too shy to handle the whole situation.

He was probably an outsider. Just like her. Maud gave a soft, almost imperceptible sigh of annoyance as he glided inside of her. He was hard but not that thick. Kind of like a round shaft of quarts. Maud's mouth opened in a breathy pant as soon as she imagined him as such. Flash Sentry slid deep into her, passing his flare with ease. Maud didn't even stumble under his moderate weight, but bore him well.

"You're... Enjoying this?" Flash Sentry panted, his cheeks already heated up. Maud looked back and up at him, her eyes half-lidded.

"This is... Slightly more pleasurable than a landslide... But less so than a six-point-oh earthquake."

"Oh-kaaaaayy?" Flash Sentry paused his thrusting for half a moment before resuming, his rock-hard cock slipping over her soaked walls with ease. She just blinked at him as he began picking the pace up. Pinkie Pie stood off to the side, watching with interest as Flash fucked her easily.

"Gonna..."

"Hmm?" Maud glanced back at him once more. Before she knew it, Flash pumped a long stream of something liquid inside of her. She felt him pull out, taking a fair amount of his own release with him. Maud glanced at the ground and the steadily-growing puddle of white liquid there.

"Oh..." She wiped a hoof over her drenched core, noting the way her own arousal and Flash Sentry's creamy cum glistened on it. "It's just like a sedimentary rock when it's covered with water."

"Right..." Flash Sentry panted, obviously flustered. He glanced at Pinkie with an arched eyebrow. "She's... Okay, isn't she?"

"She REALLY likes rocks." Pinkie leaned in, whispering into his ear with a less-than-surreptitious tone. "Like, REALLY likes them."

"Oh... Erm..." Flash Sentry glanced around before scuffing his hoof through the dirt. He kicked up a pebble and offered it to her. "Here you go?"

"This is an igneous rock." Maud noted as she graciously accepted the gift.

"I'm sure it is..." Flash Sentry backed away slowly, glancing between Pinkie and Maud before turning tail and running.

"Hey come back!" Pinkie called after him. "I didn't get my turn!" She dashed off after him, leaving Maud alone in the town center. She dropped the igneous rock and looked around at the other ponies going at it.

"Well, Boulder." She patted her breast pocket, where her pet rested. "Looks like it's going to be a long week."

"Are you new to town?" Maud turned to the new voice...

Matilda

Author's Note

I SWEAR TO GOD THAT WAS THE MOST RANDOM ROLL EVER. 31 LANDED ON MATILDA.
WAT.
Wrote all of these one after the other... I think if I ever get bored, I'll just spend my time doing this.

Matilda

A donkey smiled warmly at Maud as she approached, never mind the disheveled look of her mane and very obvious string of stallion cum stretched from her ear to the corner of her mouth.

"Eer, yeah, I'm new." Maud blinked at the rather odd sight.

"Oh, that's got to be a shock. I'm Matilda, darling." The donkey smiled as she offered a hoof. Maud took it slowly, blinking as Matilda glanced her over. "I try to make it into town now and then during these little events. Nothing like a good, young stallion to, heh, shake the cobwebs out as it were."

"I'm sorry." Maud blinked once more.

"Nothing to be sorry for." The donkey shrugged nonchalantly and beamed at her. "I actually kind of like it when I'm not with dear old Cranky."

"Cranky?" Maud tilted her head to the side.

"My... Well, for lack of a better word, my husband... Where did he go now..." Matilda turned around, either to give Maud a look at her own dripping pussy or to look for the aforementioned Cranky. For whatever reason, Maud got a good, long look at Matilda's vagina, and it helped re-ignite the fire in her own stomach. "Ah well. He's gone now. Say," Matilda's eyes closed as she turned back to Maud. "You smell awfully nice."

"I've already been fucked twice." Maud deadpanned, wiping her hoof over her still-wet marehood and displaying it to Matilda. "Ponyville's a really friendly town." She sniffed at the mixture. "Some would say too friendly."

"I'm sorry... Does it bother you?"

"I can't say it does." Maud tentatively licked at the liquid on her hoof, and found the musky mixture to be somewhat enjoyable. She licked at it again, until her hoof was clean. "It's been a while."

"Oh. I see. Well, do you mind?"

"Do I mind what?"

"If I... Uuh..." Matilda glanced at Maud's flanks, her tongue darting forth to lick her lips tentatively.

"If you what?"

"Lick you?"

"Okay." Maud shrugged, standing there. Matilda blinked before slowly stepping forward, her mouth opening a few times before she paused.

"Could you, uuh... Turn around?"

"Sure." Maud obliged, turning about. Matilda wasted no time lifting the hem of her dress up over her flanks and pulling her tail aside. Another hot wave of pleasure rolled into Maud's stomach, making her blink once. Matilda wasn't quite as energetic as Pinkie Pie. Maud wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. But her long, flat tongue didn't waste time getting right to the heat of things. She picked at Maud's clitoris, flicking and sucking on that hard little nub of flesh skillfully.

Maud flushed as she felt the pleasure spike and tumble inside of her. Matilda lapped up the remains of Flash Sentry's cum, adding her own saliva to the mess dotting the inside of Maud's thighs. Maud flexed her core muscles, giving the hungry donkey a little bit more to lick. She didn't waste any time in delving as deep inside of Maud as she could, her tongue sliding over the soaked pony's walls with ease. Maud looked down between her own legs, where Maud's haunches rested on the ground. The donkey's hoof was busy rubbing herself, and her hot breath panted rapidly over Maud's backside.

"Uhn~" Matilda moaned, her hoof a blur as she continued fiddling with her own hole. Maud looked back up, giving a soft 'huh' of acknowledgement. Matilda pulled away from her pussy with a loud gasp, and Maud heard a fair bit of liquid fall onto the dirt. Matilda had apparently reached her own peak, at least if her panting breath and flushed expression were any indication.

"Was that good?" Matilda asked, her hooves kind of shaky. Maud blinked at her.

"That was okay."

"Right, well..." Matilda fanned herself with a hoof, grinning from ear-to-ear. "Welcome to Ponyville."

"I've already been to Ponyville." Maud blinked at the donkey.

"Oh. Erm... Welcome back?"

"Thanks."

"I'm... Going to go now." Matilda looked over her flank back at Maud as she walked away, leaving her behind with a fair bit of cum on the dirt of the town square around her. Maud looked down at the dark spot stoically for a few long moments.

"Yep." Maud muttered. "Gonna be a long week."

Featherweight

Author's Note

TRIGGER WARNING: Foalcon
Rolled a 63 for this one.

Featherweight

Maud had just looked up from the dark stains in the dirt when a flash of light nearly blinded her. She blinked unevenly at the source, trying to get rid of the spots in front of her eyes. The flash came again, more insistently this time. She blinked, but couldn't get rid of the spots. Instead, she closed her eyes.

"I can't see when you flash me in the eyes like that."

"Oh, sorry about that!" A young voice reached her ears. "I should have asked first. You don't look familiar. You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, I'm not." Maud managed to slowly open her eyes, and she was greeted by a very thin-looking, young pegasus with a camera. He beamed and snapped one more photo of her, but she managed to close her eyes just in time. When she opened them again, the pegasus was behind her, trying very hard to shove his camera up her skirt.

"Do you mind if I take pictures of you?" He bubbled, snapping several upskirt shots anyways. Maud blinked at him before shaking her head.

"Not really."

"Awesome! Ponies around here like to have some reminders of Heat Week after it's over." He snapped several more. Maud began to wonder if he had enough film. "Could you lift your tail?"

"Like this?" Maud disinterestedly lifted her tail, giving him a better view of her dripping cunt.

"Perfect!" A staccato bit of shutter clicks followed, and she blinked at the energetic little colt inbetween her rear hooves. "Wow, you look like you've been having fun! How many ponies have you done it with so far?"

"Including my sister? Three. Wait, did you mean overall?"

"No, just since you've been! I need to know what to categorize you under."

"Categorize?"

"Some ponies like it when their mares are REALLY sloppy and messy. Others like them clean and not so mussed-up. You say three?"

"Yeah three." Maud blinked as the young colt gripped the hem of her dress and flipped it up, hard enough to invert the fabric around her stomach. Her haunches were exposed completely now.

"You have a rock for a cutie mark?"

"I also have a Rocktorate." Maud drawled, looking back at him still. "Want me to tell you which rocks are volcanic by nature in Equestria?"

"Erm, no... That's fine. Just lift your tail again. I'm Featherweight by the way."

"Okay." Maud flicked her tail aside, watching as Featherweight snapped several more pictures of her. He was just a young colt, but all the pictures he was taking were having an effect on him. His cock emerged from its sheath, bobbing in the air as he hovered with his camera.

"You look awesome!" He tittered, clicking more pictures from the side now. Maud blinked at him. "Mind taking your dress off?"

"Okay." She shuffled out of her dress, pulling it off over her head with a sigh. She didn't think she'd be needing it anyways, if her track record was any indication.

"Say, uuh." Featherweight blushed as he flitted about in front of her. "I kinda need some POV shots, and erections aren't that good for flying with." He bobbed up and down a bit in front of her, his cock waving in front of her face. "Could you indulge me?"

"I guess." Maud looked at his cock for a few moments... And then a few more moments. Featherweight cleared his throat, drawing her attention up to him. She arched an eyebrow at him.

"You, uuh... You can start anytime."

"Start what?"

"Sucking." Featherweight hoisted his camera, snapping a picture as the tip of his miniature dick pressed against her lips.

"You want me to suck your dick?" Maud asked simply.

"If you don't mind."

"I don't mind." Maud shrugged and opened her mouth. The camera clicked like mad as she took his tip in, her tongue swirling around the salty tip. By the taste, he'd already been with a few other ponies around town. It had the musky taste her own arousal did, mixed in with a regular stallion's taste. The camera was going crazy, nevermind that she had hardly moved since he had asked her.

Still, she sucked him off, barely flinching as her drool dripped off of his shaft to join the rest of the liquid in the dirt. The camera was in an almost constant state of clicking. She had to close her eyes or the flashes would have blinded her. When he came, she swallowed his spunk down with ease, even though the camera flashed faster than ever.

"Awwright!" Featherweight pulled his tiny floppy dick out of her mouth, grinning at her. "That was awesome! I got a lot of GREAT shots! Can you spit up some of my cum? Like, keep it on your tongue?"

"Lih thihh?" Maud still had a bit on her tongue, so she showed it to him. He flashed three quick photos before beaming at her.

"Sweet! These are gonna sell well!"

"Okay." Maud swallowed his cum and blinked at the young pegasus. He snapped two more pictures of her before jetting off, flashing pictures as he went.

Since she had stepped into Ponyville, she had hardly moved fifteen steps and had already had sex with four different ponies.

"I'm not going to get to look at any rocks, am I."

Scootaloo

Author's Note

TRIGGER WARNING: More foalcon.
Roll a nine, get Scootaloo.
Fawk yiss.

Scootaloo

Maud shoved her dress into her saddlebags, next to the case filled with all the candy necklaces Pinkie Pie sent her and on top of the igneous sample she was going to take to the Geological Society in Trottingham. She remembered Boulder was in her pocket, but he probably didn't want to see what was happening out here. And besides, she didn't feel like playing Camouflage if somepony got it in their minds to fuck her really hard.

"Oof!" Somepony ran into her. Maud looked at her flank, where a very young filly had flattened themselves against her.

"Did you just crash into me?" Maud helped peel the filly off of her flank.

"Y-yeah..." The young orange pegasus rubbed her nose with a frown. She had a pretty cute purple mane and big pink eyes. She also wore a helmet, which was a good thing. Running into Maud wasn't the healthiest of things. Running into anypony could be hurtful, but Maud more so than some others.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I've handled a lot worse. I just wish that last pony could aim better." She scowled over her wings at the direction Maud could have guessed she came from.

"Why would anypony aim you?" Maud asked, looking the young filly over.

"Oh, well... I'm trying to learn how to fly. But I can only get my wings going really fast when I'm getting licked..." She flicked her tail aside, revealing her petite young vagina, glistening with arousal and saliva. "The last pony was licking me really good when they let go."

"So you flew off?"

"Uh huh!" The young pony beamed at her before looking Maud up and down. "You're new around here, aren't you?"

"I am." Maud nodded.

"I'm Scootaloo! Wanna help me fly?"

"Sure." Maud shrugged, watching as Scootaloo's petite wings flitted fast enough to blur with the motion. She hovered in front of Maud's face, her hips thrust forward.

"Just lick me as best you can, and don't let go until I cum! But be careful, some ponies can't hold onto me long enough." She grinned teasingly, her tail flicking side-to-side, making her tiny hole pulse and move. Maud sat on her haunches and lifted her hooves to squish into Scootaloo's flanks, right where her cutie mark should have been. Scootaloo grunted, her eyes bulging as she choked. "Not that hard!"

"Okay." Maud relaxed a little, not quite squishing her so hard. Scootaloo breathed a sigh of relief and nodded down at her.

"Whenever you're ready." Scootaloo's wings fluttered a bit before coming to a standstill. Maud just leaned in and dragged a few long licks over Scootaloo's tiny hole. She reacted in the most interesting way. Her wings kicked up enough breeze to lift Maud's mane off of her face and cause her to close her eyes. She held onto the tiny pegasus tighter, her tongue working restlessly against her tiny hole. The taste was actually kind of nice, and a little sweet.

Maud realized that, despite having had sex with four ponies so far, she hadn't had a really good orgasm yet. But that kind of took the back seat as she continued licking Scootaloo. The young pegasus pulled at her hooves harder and harder, but to no avail. Maud had her held more firmly than a buried boulder in some hard clay. She was harder to hold onto than a rock, but rocks didn't have wings. That'd be pretty cool if they did, though. Maud's tongue reached a fever pitch of activity as she thought about rocks flying around, making Scootaloo cry out.

"Gonna cum!" Scootaloo panted, her wings pulling rather hard at Maud's hold. But Maud didn't stop. She was too busy thinking about how much better smooth igneous rocks would be at flying than sedimentary rocks would be. But just as she imagined a large chunk of basalt banking into a wide turn, Scootaloo shot out of her hooves like a watermelon seed. She curved off into the air, screaming as she trailed a miniature rainstorm of orgasmic fluid.

"Woah!" Some other pony called out, watching Scootaloo disappear over the horizon. "How'd you get her to go so far?"

"I just licked her..."

Mayor Mare

Maud was just beginning to wonder something, watching as Scootaloo disappeared. She tore her eyes away from the horizon and looked around at everypony, watching this debauched activity go on and on. Where were the authorities? Wouldn't this sort of thing scare away anypony else who came into Ponyville? She had just stepped off of the train platform, and then boom. Sex. Maud was eager to see what sort of response, if any, the authorities would have.

Instead, she was set upon by another mare, this one a little bit curvier and more filled-out than Pinkie Pie.

"Well hello there! Welcome to Ponyville!" The new mare bubbled, her lips already kissing along Maud's neck. Maud blinked at her, wondering when if ever this spree would end. She wasn't entirely sure she wanted it to, but knowing would be nice.

"Hello." Maud blinked again as the new white-maned mare kissed around to her lips, filling her vision rather suddenly. Maud just blinked as the cream-coated earth pony kissed her deeply, forcing her tongue into Maud's mouth. "Whaah awe oo kihhing ee?" Maud tried to mutter, but she just bit the poor pony's tongue. With a clipped cry, she pulled back, spraying saliva between them.

"Ooh, a biter, are you?" The pony pulled her glasses off, grinning deviously at Maud. "I like them rough."

"You like what rough?"

"My mates. I'm the mayor, by the way. You look new, so I thought you might not know... And seeing how far you launched poor little Scootaloo over there, I thought you'd be able to show me a good time." The mayor licked her lips eagerly, eyeing Maud up and down. "I like rough times. Show me what you can do, out-of-towner! HAH!" She launched herself at Maud, which proved to be a large mistake. Maud hardly blinked as the mayor crashed into her, coming to a dead stop. She didn't seem fazed, though, as she started to wrestle against Maud's rock-hard defense. Maud just stood there as the mayor wrenched, grunted, shoved, and grappled with all of her strength, breaking into a rather large sweat. She didn't accomplish much of anything.

"Are you trying to do something here?"

"Oh, you impetuous little..."

"Oh. I felt that much." Maud blinked as the mayor roughly ground her hoof into the epicenter of Maud's wetness, eliciting a squelching sound and a few droplets of moisture. It wasn't enough to knock her over, but she did blink. There was that.

"My goodness," The mayor's mouth opened with shock. "You're unshakable! Like a rock!"

"I like rocks." Maud smiled at the mayor.

"Do you now... Well..." The mayor glanced around before picking up a small pebble. "What about this one?"

"Metamorphic, rare for this region. It probably came on a wagon from Trottingham or somewhere to the North."

"A... And you could tell all that at a glance?"

"I can tell a lot of things about rocks." Maud smiled wider - what a normal pony might have considered a slight grin. "I have a rocktorate."

"You don't say... Well, how much do you like rocks?" The mayor was now stroking the rock, her hoof gliding over it. Maud watched as her own juices darkened the surface of the rock. She began squirming.

"A-alot..." Maud whimpered.

"How much is a lot?" The mayor continued stroking, now alternating her hoof with her cheek.

"Q-quite a bit... Why are you doing that...?"

"To watch you squirm." She cooed at Maud. "I wonder what it tastes like...?"

"Th-the rock?"

"Among other things." The mayor made a share of licking her lips again, her tongue dangerously close to the rock. Maud whimpered again, her thighs steadily darkening with arousal. "Would you like to see me lick this rock?"

"I... Actually, I would." Maud nodded.

"Hmm... I wonder what you'd be willing to give me if I licked this rock?"

"I have a few bits..."

"Oh, I'm not looking for bits..." The mayor teased. "I want something else..."

"I, uuh..." Maud continued to squirm, wondering what she could possibly do to see the mayor lick this rock. "What do you want me to do?"

"That's more like it." The mayor grinned deviously. "If you lick me until I cum, I'll lick this rock for you."

"Okay." Maud rushed forth, upending the mayor with ease. She gave a clipped cry of surprise, but found herself on her back nevertheless. Maud set in on her immediately, her tongue restless against the mayor's already-wet cunt.

"Wo-o-oah!" The mayor cried out. Maud was apparently really good at this. First Scootaloo and now the mayor. It seemed whoever she licked really liked it. It was nothing like licking a really good igneous rock, but it was still kind of fun. She liked licking ponies, especially when she could do it to see them lick rocks.

"CUMMING!" The mayor cried out, her stomach twitching spasmodically. Maud just kept licking for a little while. It seemed rude to let the mayor get so wet down there without cleaning up. But no matter how much Maud kept licking, the mayor kept getting wetter and wetter. Eventually, she had to give up. The mayor was flat on her back, panting happily.

"Are you going to lick that rock now?" Maud asked, her chin dripping onto the mayor's prone form.

"S-sure... Right after I..." The mayor closed her eyes and started snoring, right in the middle of the street. Maud watched her for a little while before giving a slight shrug.

"I guess I licked her too hard... I'll come back to see her lick that rock." Maud placed the pebble in the mayor's hoof, to remind her what she owed. "I'd really like to see that..."

Derpy Hooves

Just as Maud turned away to leave in search of Pinkie Pie, she was collided with once more. And it was another pegasus, to boot. Maud watched as the grey-coated mare groaned on the ground, a crumpled package in her hooves.

"Ow, ow, oww..." she moaned, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. "That really hurt."

"I'm sorry." Maud blinked down at her and the rather compromising situation she was in. The mare was spread wide open, her marehood exposed and everything. "I'll try not to be in your way next time."

"Naw, it's okay!" She flipped her straw-colored mane over her neck and sprung up, smiling warmly. "I'm used to crashing into all sorts of things. You're just a lot more hard than other ponies." She frowned then, nudging Maud with a hoof. "A LOT more hard... Wow!"

"Thanks. I like hard things. Like rocks." Maud smiled at her. "What's your name?"

"Derpy Hooves! Ponyville's number one mailmare!" Derpy mock-saluted, but in doing so dropped the package. Maud watched it break open, revealing the contents. "Oh shoot. Not again." Derpy sighed and fished the contents out, which made Maud blink. "This is the third time already."

"Third time what?"

"This package broke open... The first time, I, uuh... I got excited and I had to use it. So when I took it back we had to clean and re-package it... Then the second time I got even MORE excited and had to use it again..." Derpy sighed and hefted the large dildo. "Twilight's gonna kill me if I take this back to her a third time."

"That's a very large dildo." Maud remarked, eyeing the wobbly, thick pillar of faux pony flesh. "But it doesn't look very hard."

"Oh no!" Derpy giggled and laid her hoof against the base, smiling wickedly. "It's a magical dildo! Lookie!" Derpy began rubbing it, smiling as it began to swell and grow. Maud blushed as the dildo straightened out and throbbed a little, suddenly looking very hard and rather enticing. Maud blushed as she reached out to touch it, feeling the taut flesh on the surface of it, the way it didn't give at all.

Like a rock.

"Can I?" Maud asked, her eyes wide as she stepped forwards.

"I can do it for you!" Derpy bubbled, flapping her wings enough to carry her behind Maud.

"Do it." Maud panted. She wanted this thing inside of her. It was so hard. Hard like a rock. She really liked rocks.

"Brace yourself." Derpy teased, pressing the head against her still-wet core. "It's a little big."

"Woah." Maud grunted as the dildo glided into her, filling her walls to capacity. "That's really big... And hard..."

"I toldya!" Derpy beamed, pushing the dildo further. Maud felt it press against parts of her that hadn't been touched just yet, making her draw her lower lip between her teeth. She oozed arousal around the shaft, dripping down to the dirt beneath their hooves.

"Keep going." Maud mumbled, focusing on the ground beneath her hooves. She wanted to feel all of this thing. Another few inches slid into her, making her stomach bulge a little bit.

"Th-that's all of it." Derpy whimpered. "Wow... You... You took the whole thing."

"I... I REALLY like hard things." Maud whimpered. She was dripping steadily now, making a small dark spot on the ground.

"I can see that! ... Kinda... I can't really see that well. Might be why I slammed into you earlier! Speaking of hard," Derpy lay her hooves on Maud's flanks, rubbing slow circles. "You're pretty hard yourself."

"Like a rock." Maud looked back at her. Derpy had come up on her rear hooves, moving her own hips in close. She felt the dildo shift inside of her as Derpy pressed her crotch against it.

"If you like hard things... Can you take it hard?"

"Really hard." Maud nodded, giving her the go-ahead. Derpy pulled back, and with her hips came the dildo. Maud almost shivered at the feeling of it vacating her insides, but blinked when it slid back in very suddenly. Derpy's hips impacted her flanks, and she grunted with the force of it. "Oh WOW! You're REALLY hard! Unf!" Derpy settled in at a fast pace, thrusting the dildo nice and hard into Maud's dripping cunt. "I-I can't take it!" Derpy's wings flared out, and her humping reached a fever pitch. "Gonna cum! AHN!" She flopped backwards, and Maud watched a slender shaft pop out of the pegasus' dripping hole. The dildo had grown it to accommodate for her new friend. Maud watched Derpy's chest rise and fall in time with her breathing.

"I think I'm gonna keep this." Maud pulled the dildo out of her cunt, smiling as it began to deflate. It wasn't hard anymore, but it could become hard.

Really hard.

"I like hard things. I'll be sure to give this back to Twilight Sparkle... I'm sure I'll run into her."

Maud smiled down at Derpy and turned to go find her next encounter. She was certain it wasn't very far away.

Bon Bon

Maud actually managed to make it a few yards before she was set upon by another pony. This time around, the pony wasn't accosting her sexually. At least, not directly. She smiled warmly and opened a box in front of Maud' face, displaying several small candies.

"Help yourself, stranger!" She beamed, shaking the box a little. Maud blinked up at her.

"I don't really like candy." She thought back to the box of rock candy necklaces in her pack, right next to her dress and Boulder.

"Oh, but these aren't like any candy you've had before!" The mare bubbled warmly. She was rather stout, and delightfully curvy. Given the current state of the town, Maud could guess what sort of candy these were. As much as she didn't care for it, she decided to give one a try. "Name's Bon Bon, by the way. I don't think I've ever seen you around Ponyville before..."

"I've been to Ponyville before." Maud scooped one small candy out, eyeing it suspiciously. To anypony else, the expression reached borderline boredom.

"Well you obviously didn't visit during Heat Week if you haven't had any of my candies before. Give it a try. I promise, it won't disappoint." Bon Bon winked deviously and Maud slipped it into her mouth. She crunched right through it, cracking the hard thing with hardly any saliva softening it. Bon Bon's expression was horrified. "You're supposed to suck on it! It's supposed to last for at least fifteen minutes!"

"Oh." Maud swallowed the shards she had broken, leaving only the sticky, sugary bits on her teeth. "What's it supposed to do- oh."

"Woah!" Bon Bon leapt back as Maud's haunches collapsed onto the ground. A puddle oozed out from underneath her, stemming from her dripping cunt. The candy went to work immediately, ripping Maud into shreds with pleasure. She sat on the ground, dribbling helplessly as whatever potent aphrodisiacs were in the candy went to work on her.

"I'm not too sure I like this." Maud deadpanned, looking down at the ever-growing puddle of cum.

"Here, get on your back." Bon Bon fished around in her saddlebags a little, her expression drawn.

"Okay." Maud obeyed, laying back and spreading her legs. Each new orgasm that ripped through her sent another trickle of cum arcing up into the air, like a miniature fountain. She whimpered thinly, wondering if this was going to hurt her at all. But Bon Bon seemed to have a fix. With a flourish, she withdrew another candy from her saddlebags and settled between Maud's legs.

"I'm gonna put this inside you." Bon Bon teased, rubbing the candy over her gushing core until it was soaked with her arousal. "It'll help, but I gotta keep it there." She pressed the rather large orb of candy against Maud's entrance, giving Maud just enough time to spurt one more orgasm up into her face. Bon Bon licked her lips with a soft moan before pressing it in.

"Oh." Maud felt her orgasms come to an almost immediate end, replaced instead with a hot, wonderful sensation in her stomach. Bon Bon held a hoof over her still-wet slip, keeping the candy there. "What's this?"

"A Super Cinnamon Chew! It deadens your nerves, which were shot into overdrive with my Ultra-Sweet Slick Sex Sucker. This'll even you out, pretty much... Although, while I'm here."

"Oh. That's nice." Maud watched as Bon Bon leaned in, lapping up several bits of accumulated cum on the insides of her thighs. Maud laid her head back, enjoying the sensations of Bon Bon licking her dripping hole. She stayed like that, her tongue peeking in to press against the slippery ball of candy now and then. They stayed like that until the candy was gone, its effect having nullified the other one.

"I'd suggest you get some water," Bon Bon pulled away from Maud's crotch with a few glistening strands of feminine ejaculate. "You came a lot. Like, a whole lot."

"Thanks." Maud rolled onto her hooves, feeling a tightness in her muscles. "Your candy's actually kind of nice."

"Why thank you, darlin'!" Bon Bon beamed and offered another from the box. "Take one with you for the road."

"I will, thanks." Maud scooped another candy out and dropped it into the box with the other rock candy necklaces Pinkie Pie had given her. "I think I might like candy... It's hard. Like a rock."

"Indeed it is. Well, see you around." Bon Bon gave Maud's cheek a quick, sloppy lick, grinning warmly as she trotted off to go give some more of her candy to the other Ponyvilleites.

"Water. Gotta find water." Maud hefted her saddlebags, turning herself towards the nearest building.

(A word of caution - please read)

This story was written as a sort of self-imposed challenge and a bit of a recommendation. A friend of mine wished to see 'Maud shipped with everypony.'

I kind of took that literally. This story is intended to be stupid, contrived, unbelievable, and idiotic.

Inside you will find eighty seven chapters of Maud - quite literally - having sex with everypony. That is to say, everypony from the tag box. Making exceptions for characters that I could quite literally find no believable reason for them to be in Ponyville, there are eighty-seven. This DOES include foals. This DOES NOT include generalizations for characters (I.E. 'Changelings' 'Crystal Ponies' 'Breezies.')

Please keep these things in mind while reading. This isn't a serious story. It's not intended to be. The plot, if there should be any, is nothing but a weak excuse to shift from one fuck partner to the next. Many characters will arrive for poor reasons, or no reason at all.

I will be randomizing whichever pony I write next somehow (I'm feeling D+D dice...) and write a short, meaningless, completely pointless bit of clop for them. And then I will move on to the next pony until I've done all 87.

I don't know when I'll be publishing. I know that each chapter will be - AT LEAST - 500 words long (That's part of the challenge I gave to myself.)

Thank you for your consideration, and...

Let the games begin.