The learning curve

POV L.Cpl Ben Beal

He couldn't say the questioning of the changeling had gone well, but it was certainly interesting.

Apparently, the changeling was simply feeding from Equestria's inhabitants because it was hungry. But no one was buying it.

Something told Ben that this was the start of something much bigger than a feeding trip. It just didn't add up, for instance;

If it was just a feeding trip, then surely the changeling would have stayed clear of the larger population centres, right?

And it had been reported as following them to Saphires embroidery store. So something was definitely 'off' about it.

Explaining this to the two princesses made them anxious about the real reasons behind this changeling stalking them as they moved around Canterlot.

Celestia and Luna stood with Ben outside of the interrogation room, discussing what would happen next.

"Sister, you can't just torture the thing for information. That's wrong!"

"Why not? For what greater means this changelings appearance could imply, it may save pain if we cause pain."

"She's right, Luna. Torture is cruel, and dam right wrong."

Luna huffed and turned away from the conversation.

"Well, I would like to know how thou plan'sth to extract this creatures knowledge."

Celestia turned to him for ideas. Obviously she was clueless as to how they would go about it.

"Mr.Beal, would you like to make a suggestion?"

"Please, just call me Ben. And I'm thinking about it, these things can take time."

There was silence as he stared off into the abyss, trying to formulate a way of finding what really lay behind it.

"The only methods I could think of would include a large scale investigation. This changeling is obviously not going to give us this info'. So we would have to find it out for ourselves."

Celestia sighed in frustration.

"Surely there must be a quicker way. I don't know if its safe to spend long periods of time snooping about in the changelings affairs."

Silence once again ruptured the conversation.

"I'm sorry princess, I can't think of a quicker way."

"Unless thou performs torture on th-"

"NO!" Shouted Celestia and Ben simultaneously.

Luna recoiled, almost offended by their outburst.

"I'm sorry Luna, but we just can't torture the changeling. Besides, changelings have a hive mind. If we torture out captured drone, Chrysalis would surely attack us for being so cruel. She is very protective over her hives rights."

Luna looked down at the floor, like she was ashamed of herself.

"I'm sorry sister. I should have thought more about it."

Celestia placed a hoof under Luna's chin and raised her head.

"It's ok, Luna. Every suggestion counts. Torture is my final resort, but it is an option."

They smiled at each other, and as Celestia drooped her hoof back to the floor, her horn flashed gold and a scroll materialised out of thin air.

"Woah..." Said Ben under his breath, staring in awe at what just happened.

Celestia took a look at the seal on the scroll and turned back to him and Luna.

"Excuse me for a moment." And then she walked off.

He was left with Luna for the time being.

"Ben?"

"Yes?"

"Why does't thou feel so strongly about torture?"

"It's against the Geneva code. It is considered a governmental crime to torture captured enemies. And under conditions of war, it is a war crime. Even presidents and ministers can be trialled for torturing prisoners back where I come from."

"Oh. I do not know if any such laws have been passed since my improsonment. But considering how long I have been gone, it is likely."

"Well personally, I'm against torture. I think its fine to execute a foreign prisoner, as long as you have the home country's permission. And also if it is just, you can't just execute somebody because you think it is ok. Punishment is equal to crime."

Luna nodded gently.

"Fair enough."

Celestia came back. But instead of rejoining the conversation, she stopped at the corner of the entrance corridor to that part of the dungeon.

"Ben, may I talk with you for a moment?"

"Yeah sure."

He broke off from the remainder of the group and left Luna outside the changelings cell. Before he went round the corner, he stopped to make a suggestion.

"Don't torture the prisoner while I'm gone!"

Luna laughed and replied;

"I will try my hardest!"

Following Celestia to a cell, she walked around the other side of the table made for holding down a pony. While he remained at the entrance side.

"So... What's the matter?"

She kept a straight face as she pushed the scroll across to his side of the table.

"What do you make of this?"

Ben glanced worriedly at her for a second. He hadn't done anything wrong, had he?

He opened out the scroll and read through it in his head.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today another one of the same species as Ben showed up in Ponyville today, and from him I have learned of some interesting and vital knowledge.

The new Human has informed me that the reason Ben was shot to death by soldiers, was that Ben had already shot and killed four innocent guards before he was taken down.

I have also been told that he is mentally unstable, and may not be trustworthy to be my personal guard. Please take caution when you are near him.

This is a private message, as it may not be wise to let everypony know. I don't want to cause panic.

From,

Twilight Sparkle.

As Ben let the scroll down, Celestia read his face like a book.

"You did kill innocent people, didn't you?"

Ben had no answer. He only stood in silence, staring down at the table.

"I know you did. I cannot have a sociopath with weapons endangering my little ponies, you understand?"

He just nodded, solemnly.

"You deserve to be punished for your murders. You know that, don't you? I will not allow you to walk free, while others of your species are in sorrow for what you've done."

Ben finally looked up. His eyes were teary, with the reality of his actions flooding his mind again. Tugging on his emotions like someone was pulling his heart out with their bare hands.

"You think I walk free, hmm?"

Celestia cocked her head.

"When I killed those men, I felt no fear or remorse. It felt strangely right at the time. And that's what scares me the most, Celestia. Not that I killed them, or that I caused so much pain. But because it revealed a part of me I have never seen or felt before. It is a part of my mind, my soul, that haunts me every waking moment of day. Fear dwells in my brain. A fear that this monster may one day rise to the surface again, and I'll kill another innocent. And that fear is what binds me down, bars me inside my own mind. A prisoner of my own emotion, can you imagine that? Well 'that' is my punishment, Celestia. And I'll tell you now while I can. No one is free. Remember that, and you might see things in your 'little ponies' that you've never seen before. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to Ponyville. I've gotta meet this new human."

Ben walked out, and left Celestia in the room to think about what he had said.

POV Princess Celestia

She stood there in silence, in deep thought about what had just been said to her.

She couldn't quite understand it. 'A prisoner of his own emotion' ? What could that mean?

He did not regret what he did, but he lived in fear of himself. That, she did understand.

To live like that is a horrible experience. After she banished Nightmare Moon to the moon, she fell into a depression. She was constantly scared that her state of mind would leave Equestria vulnerable, and ponies might get hurt.

She bottled herself up inside her head. She tried to force herself back onto her hooves, but that only withheld her from recovering from the harsh reality of just how much pain she would cause Luna.

Maybe that's what it meant. Being a prisoner of your own emotion. Being locked inside your own feelings, unable to haul yourself out of a hole that you made.

She was so busy thinking about this, she didn't notice Luna standing at the cell door.

"Sister? He told you about it, didn't he?"

Celestia snapped out of her train of thought.

"Huh? Oh, yes he did. Wait, how did you know? You weren't listening."

"I didn't need to listen, I already knew."

"Y-you already knew? How?"

"On the first night of his staying, I met him at the travellers viewpoint in the mountains just west of Ponyville. There he told me everything. What he did, how he felt..."

"I didn't see this in him when I first saw him. I looked into his eyes and I saw intelligence, independence, thought. I never saw this... other side to him. If I had then... maybe I could have helped him. But now I've forced him to strain his already cracked psyche. Please talk to him tonight, Luna. Tell him I'm sorry."

"Do not fret, sister. I will make sure to it that he gets your apology."

"Thank you Luna."

"Come, let us move our prisoner to a free cell and thou can head back to day court."

Celestia managed to make a weak smile.

"Yes, let's."

POV L.Cpl Ben Beal

The walk back from Canterlot was uneventfull but far from empty.

Ben just couldn't stop thinking about what he did back home. The demons residing in his head were once again discussing filosophy.

There were two sides in this mental conversation. Part of him was debating whether he would have been better off just never having done what he did.

The other part of him was exploring his mind. It raked through the leaves of memories and ideals to try and pick out something that may actually be meaningfull to him.

He realised that at no point in his life had he been more individually independent than in the last two and a half days. He had accomplished more pshycologically in two days than he had in the past two years.

This was the turning point, the part of his life were he had to change. He couldn't just be a self serving maniac anymore. He had just started to feel like he meant something, and he was willing to do anything in order to keep it that way.

And then there's the question of who this 'new human' is. Considering whoever it was clearly knew that he was here, and could tell this by working on the small amount of info that the ponies had, this person had to be somebody he knew.

One of his aquaintances had died recently, now the problem he had to solve was 'who?'

Was it Ewan? Solomon? Mathew?

Oh god, please don't let it be Matty. His verbal grammar is abysmal...

He thought about others that it could be;

Charlie, Jack, Luke, 'Fat Charlie'...

Truth be told, he had no clue whatsoever. But then he remembered his dream...

'Ill find you, wherever you've been whisped of to.'

Oh no, don't let it be Theodore. If the sarge was her then it was a guaranteed game over for him. Render never falls for the same trick twice, there was no way that he could do anything against him, he would have wised up.

But hopefully, it wouldn't be him. Of all the people who it could be, its unlikely to be him. But then is it? Whoever it is, they're already here so there's a one hundred percent chance of it being a certain person. He just didn't know who this one hundred percent applied to.

As he stepped across the small bridge that arced over a river that came down from the mountains. Walking into the town, he noticed the distinct absence of ponies around. Maybe everyone was just tired from a busy day out.

He found Lyra 'sitting' on a bench. She actually sits like a human, and considering ponies don't wear clothes he was surprised she didn't get into awkward situations more often.

She said she had been waiting for someone for a while, but they had never shown up. So he wished her good luck for whatever she was meeting up with someone for, and left her to it.

Eventually he got on the same street as the Golden Oak library. He walked up to the place, its natural beauty radiating in the glorious afternoon sunshine. He walked up to its door and was about to open it when he stopped.

He reviewed his descision to meet this person immediately. He thought that maybe it wasn't such a good idea for his current position. With that he turned and walked away. He only got twenty metres from the library when the door opened and voices were heard as two people walked out.

The door was slammed shut and there was a silent moment. Before a shout violated the peace, a voice he recognised as that of one, Luke Jennigan.

"Hey Ben!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

He stopped in his walking. He sighed and turned to face him. He was wearing his jeans and green Nike jacket. His sleek hair style contrasted with the mane of the pony next to him, Apple Jack.

He remained quiet as the duo slowly advanced on him. Eventually they were within metres of him.

"Why are you still here Ben? I hope you didn't kill anyone to get back here..." He smiled, mocking him.

"Y'know Luke, I hope you're having fun mocking me."

He leaned his weight on one leg and folded his arms.

"And why's that?"

"Because I've changed now. I'm no longer who you used to know. Though I was hoping that I could leave all that behind me, start anew. But obviously as long as you're here to talk about it, that's never gonna happen."

Luke cocked his head.

"Oh really?"

"You know Luke, I'm letting go of my past. And if you can't handle the new me, then just don't get involved with my life because I have no more patience for teases."

Luke's shit eating grin evaporated and he sighed.

"I don't know if I can trust you Ben, that's the thing. I don't think I'll ever fully trust you again."

It was Bens turn to smile.

"You never did anyways."

"True, true. Anyways, since you've had some sort of apithamy, maybe we could hang out more often. That's as long as you don't shank me whenever I turn away."

He was never just gonna let it drop.

"If you stop referencing to me killing stuff then yeah, maybe."

"Whatever you say... Ben?"

"Mm?"

"Just out of curiosity, where are you actually living at the moment?"

"Oh, I live with Fluttershy in her cottage."

Luke giggled, there was no way of avoiding this one...

"Yeah, I bet she likes that!"

There was silence as no one laughed or even smiled. Ben and AJ just stared at him.

"Thanks for that, mate. I'm never have a normal dream ever again."

Apple Jack nodded in agreement.

"Ah' agree, that was pretty bad."

Luke shrugged.

"I know, my humour fails."

"Hey, 'just out of curiosity'..."

Ben made the air quote gesture.

"Where are you staying for the time being?"

"I'm living with Apple Jack. We've fleshed out a work deal."

"Nice, but nothing like the job I've picked up for myself."

Luke narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"And what would that be? Sewage treatment?"

Ben rested his muscles and made a sarcastically bored expression.

"Oh 'ha ha ha', fucking comedy genius over here. No, my job is being Twilights personal body guard."

"Not bad. Try not to shoot anyone though."

Once again receiving a very threatening look, Luke rustled his hand through his hair and scratched his scalp.

"Yeah, ok, I'll stop now."

"Oh Luke?"

"Mmhmm?"

"How'd you die?"

"I got empaled through the heart. From what I remember it was pretty brutal, but quite quick."

"As being empaled through the heart would be I suppose."

Apple Jack walked out between them to make a social announcement.

"Anyway if ya'll done yappin', we can get of and you can get that jacket o'yer's cleaned. Bloods not the greatest of lookers. Come on Luke'y boy' we got stuff to do!"

Luke chuckled and held out his hand. It took a second for Ben to catch on, but he finally shook his hand.

"It's good to know that you've learned from your mistakes, Ben."

"Hey man, its all part of the learning curve."

They released each others hands and Ben looked down at AJ.

"Apple Jack, I need to know if you still trust me."

She smiled and put her hoof to her chest.

"You've admitted to yer wrong doin's n' you've learned from them. Ya still have my honest trust, friend."

"Thanks AJ, its always good to have an honest person watching my back for me. Once again, thank you."

Ben looked past the duo to see the rest of the elements smiling at him. Pinkie Pie was eating popcorn and taking photos with a Lumix camera.

Wait...what in the... How...how does she...

He decided he was too tired to care anyways and just waved to the elements, getting a wave back from each of them, even Fluttershy.

He turned back around and his eyes were greeted by an explosion of pink. The party pony jumped in his face and grabbed onto him. The force behind her leap knocked him to the floor... again.

His head smashed the floor and he was pretty sure that was gonna come out in a bruise the next morning.

"OHMYGOSH, that was sooooo dramatic! It was like all tense at the beginning and then it just all dissipeared like *that* when you shook hands and then Apple Jack backed you up afterwards! I mean it was like y-mmmph-"

Twilight had walked up to them and shoved her hoof in Pinkies mouth to quieter her.

"I'm sorry that we brought back your troubled past.I just didn't want to take any risks."

Ben picked himself up and dusted himself down. He picked up the camera and turned it off before giving Twilight his full attention.

"Yeah, it's fine. Shit happens y'know? And you've just got to deal with it. And I'm making some changes to deal with my past."

"That's always good to hear. Anyway, you must be hungry from the walk back. Come inside! I'll make something for you."

"Alrighty then, we'll leave ya'll to it." Exclaimed AJ.

"See you later Ben!" Luke waved him goodbye.

Ben just waved before walking inside the library. Inside, there was a package that was labeled 'Saphire Ebroidery' sitting on the table.

"I'm guessing this is my badge, then?"

He picked up the sealed package and swivelled it around, trying to find an opening. Finding that it was completely airtight, he drew his bayonet and cut it open.

Inside was a set of a further two sealed boxes.

"Allow me." Said Twilight as she quickly opened the two boxes and lifted out their contents with levitation.

"Two badges?" Ben asked in confusion.

"Yes, I had Saphire make a duplicate for your Armour."

"My armour? How the hell is anyone gonna sow through my armour?"

"We found a way..."

Twilight presented his armour with a rectangular patch ready to host an emblem, exactly the same colour as the armour, expertly sown into the chest plate.

"Magically enchanted needles. They work a treat!" Exclaimed Rarity, who was sipping on a glass of wine at the table.

"So they do. Rarity, I'm guessing you'll be wanting my jacket to sow the first emblem onto?"

"Sure darling, which shoulder?"

"Right shoulder, please." He removed and passed his jacket to her.

"I'll get straight to it!"

Rarity pulled out a small box and opened it. Removing some pins and matching colour thread, she started sowing the badge onto the right shoulder.

He looked in the mirror. Twisting from side to side in order to see how the badges looked. And quite frankly they looked kinda awesome.

"When's my first assignment?"

"Day after tomorrow." Twilight replied

"I'll be visiting The Crystal Empire to see my brother and sister in law. As your job implies, you follow my orders only and protect me if it is required."

"Should I refer to you as 'ma'am', or princess?"

Twilight laughed.

"Ma'am. I like the sound of that. You should refer to me as princess on all occasions. Got that?"

"Yes princess!"

She continued laughing for a few seconds before calming down.

"Actually darling, I think you look rather strapping in uniform. Minus the hat of course."

"Yes Rarity, minus the hat." He had stopped trying to convince her that it was never made to look good. He just sarcastically whent along with her.

"You um... look very smart in your uniform."

"Thanks Flutters'. But I'd rather have a Ghille suit than this uniform."

"Darling, you must tell us what you mean. Our worlds are very different. What is a 'Ghille suit'?"

"A Ghille suit is a battle dress that has lots of shapes and features sown into it. It basically makes the wearer look like a hedge for camouflage. You'd hate it Rarity."

"Yes, sounds like I would. These Ghille suits are only worn in combat I guess."

"Yeah. They do look very cool, but they can be uncomfortable after a while, and the things look completely out of place when away from the battlefield."

"Oh yeah?" Rainbow butted in. "I bet the Wonderbolts outfits look better. In fact, you don't even need to ask what they look like. Give me few more months, and I'll be wearing one myself!"

"Well good luck Rainbow. But don't be too cocky, it only hits you harder if you're not prepared for the worst."

"I don't need to prepare for the worst if its never gonna happen!""

Ben smirked at her undying ambition mixed with a chronic lack of forethought.

"If the bigger they are, the harder they fall, then you'll hit terminal velocity in no time."

"You just watch me, ape!"

"Oh I will be, I can assure you that. In fact... Twilight, how much does my job get paid?"

"200 bits per week. Plus an extra 200 every time you perform adequately on an assignment."

Ben started counting how much he would have in 3 months. More than enough for what he had in mind.

"I'll give you 450 bits if you can become a Wonderbolt in 3 months. But if you fail, you owe me 450 bits. Deal?"

"Ha! You may as well start handing over the money now!"

"Even if I had to I couldn't because I have no money. 'Ha!' To you too!"

Fluttershy suddenly hovered through with half of the plates of food for them. After placing them on the table she went to get the other half.

Ben removed his armour and sat down at the table. Eggs, Lettuce, carrots and mashed potatoes. Overall not a bad mod meal...

Shit! I forgot to tell them. Better late than never.

"Uh... Girls? I need to tell you something I forgot about."

"Yes? What is it darling?"

He let out a deep sigh.

"I can't live in what you're giving me. I have to eat some meat, or I'll get malnutrition and I could die."

There was total quiet. They just stared at him with almost shock horror... Apart from Fluttershy, who nodded in compliance.

"That quite alright Ben. I found out you were an Omnivore when I found you. I've spoken with a supplier of meats for pets who said he could get some high quality products to me. But please when you do eats meat, don't waste anything, I... I don't like seeing meat wasted like that."

"That's very kind of you Flutters'. I was beginning to worry about it then. And I won't waste any meat, I promise."

She blushed a little and nodded.

"Um... Thank you."

"No probs'."

He continued to eat with the girls until he had eaten everything. After he had finished, he stood up and took his plate over to the kitchen, where he washed it and rooted around for the plate cupboard.

He tried up, down, centre...

"Bottom left cupboard, at the back."

He paused and looked a bit stupid for a second.

"Thanks Twilight."

Opening the cupboard door and sliding the plate onto the stack, he began to wonder what the time was.

He looked at the kitchen clock:

6pm! Had no idea it was that late in the afternoon! I thought it would probably be about 3.

"Girls, I'm off back home for a nap. I'll see you all later!"

After a round of goodbyes, he put on his armour so he didn't have to carry it, and opened the door to head back home.